


The Sea Captain's House - Part 12

by Beautyinthemoonlight



Series: The Sea Captain's House [12]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-10-21 08:42:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 299,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17639516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beautyinthemoonlight/pseuds/Beautyinthemoonlight
Summary: The kids are growing up fast and Meg is ready to take her next big step in 2030.  How will Ali and Ashlyn deal with the lingering effects of the terrifying end to 2029?  Will they finally crack?  Will their strong relationship weaken under all the stress?  There will be ups and downs, as usual, joys and sorrows.  And a new family brings another set of challenges for the Kriegers to face. We learn more about the big old house itself and we're reminded of just how much love lives inside it now.





	1. Graduation Day

**Author's Note:**

> Part 12 is up and running! I'll be posting a chapter a night as usual. I'm not quite finished and I'm hoping I've given myself enough time to get the last few chapters written before you guys catch up to me. This installment starts a few months after the last one did (Part 9) and just keeps going. 
> 
> If you're new, welcome! If you're not, thank you very much for sticking with me through this never-ending story. lol. 
> 
> Don't forget to check out the Tumblr blog if you want. Search 'beautyinthemoonlight1124' if you want to see pictures of characters, story elements, floor plans of the big old house and other buildings in the story, family tree charts, and other random things.

It was a beautiful, sunny morning in Washington DC and the temperature was a perfect 74 degrees. The residents of the area were used to the hot weather that had already started, even in early June, and they planned accordingly. Instead of having outdoor events in the sweltering afternoons, they scheduled them for the mornings – before it got hot and sticky and uncomfortable outside. The warm, fragrant air felt surprisingly soft against their skin, a light breeze acting like a gentle fan and keeping the guests and the graduates from sweating through their outfits.

“When’s it gonna start?” Josie whined, leaning her head against Ashlyn’s shoulder from the seat next to her.

“Soon. Very soon” the keeper answered the same question, but from a different child, for the fourth time in the past 5 minutes. “And I don’t want to hear another word about it, from anybody” she looked down the row at her family, quirking her eyebrow and giving them the look that meant she was serious. “Why can’t we just sit here and enjoy this beautiful day? If we were at home we’d still be waiting for the day to warm up. I want you to appreciate where you are and what we’re doing.”

Ali gave her wife a sweet smile from four seats down the row, leaning forward so the blonde could see her around Josie, Dodge and Lily’s heads. Ashlyn looked beautiful in her stylish suit, despite the anxious look on her face. The keeper was growing her hair out and it was a shaggy blonde mop that she styled many different ways. Today it was loosely slicked back and looking good. Ali could tell her wife was having a tough time that morning. The keeper talked a good game and had said all the right things about being ready for Meg’s high school graduation. But Ali knew better. Hell, the brunette was having a tough time with it herself so she knew her tender-hearted wife must be struggling.

Somehow it was June 6, 2030 and Margaret Ann Doucette was graduating from high school already. How the hell had that happened? It seemed like just yesterday that she was 5 years old and running laps through the first floor of the big old house with two little puppies trailing behind her, one caramel colored and the other brindled. Ali had been surrounded by those sweet memories for the past week as she got her family ready for the short trip to DC to celebrate Meg’s big day. Most of the extended family was there too. Ken and Vicki Krieger had made the trip, travelling with the young Krieger family. Deb and Mike Christopher were there. Tammye, Carol, Mike and the rest of the Harris clan were all sitting in the row behind Ali and Ashlyn and their kids. Meg was the eldest grandchild, the first to achieve any of the milestones kids hit as they grow up and become independent human beings right before your eyes. Hannah and her closest friends were sitting in the row just in front of Ali and Ashlyn, with Hannah sitting directly in front of her ex-girlfriend and co-parent. The two had shared many sympathetic looks, along with several exultant ones that morning. Hannah’s face, still so pretty even as the years kept adding up, was an odd mixture of pride and sorrow and all of the grown-ups in their large group understood. There was nothing harder than watching your children grow up. It was the best and worst all rolled into one angsty emotion.

“Can I take my tie off?” Drew tugged on Ali’s arm to get her attention and snap her out of her thoughts of Ashlyn’s soft heart.

“No bud” the brunette shook her head and patted his leg in the seat on her other side. “If you do it then Dodge will want to and Lily too” she exhaled. The youngest Krieger girl still liked to dress like her Mama sometimes, even though she usually chose more feminine dress-up outfits like her sister and her Mommy. Both of her moms admired her free spirit and her refusal to stick to one style. “It’s not that hot yet. Keep it on until after the ceremony” Ali nodded at him and smiled. “We’ll be taking pictures too and I want us all to look nice for Meg’s big day.”

“Aw, Mom...” he whined and rolled his eyes, not sounding at all like the big 11-year old he was.

Drew had just celebrated his birthday two weeks earlier and the twins’ birthday had been two weeks before that. Josie’s was coming up in two weeks as well and when it was all said and done they would be 11, 9 and 7 years old. That was hard to understand too, but it made a lot of sense when you remembered that Meg had turned 18 in March and would be going off to college in the Fall. How the hell was it June already? It felt like just yesterday they were down in Florida for February vacation, taking Drew and the other kids to Red Sox spring training games in Fort Myers. They had been talking about doing it for the past couple of years but something always seemed to happen to delay the trip. 2030 was finally the year Drew got to geek out over his favorite baseball team and he was still riding the high all the way in June. Knight-Harris represented several Red Sox players and Ali and her family had an open invitation to visit the Fort Myers locale whenever they wanted to. The brunette was upset with herself for not making it happen for her son sooner. Better late than never though.

It had been almost four months since the Kriegers’ rejuvenating and purifying trip to Florida for February vacation. The reclamation of their lives and their love and their home and their blue stone had been complete and effective. Life in the big old house had gone on and gotten back to normal as soon as they had returned from their Florida vacation. Even if Ali or Ashlyn hadn’t been ready, their lives were just not going to wait. The first half of 2030 had been as busy as ever and full of firsts and changes and growth and sadness. Ali and Ashlyn worked with Dr. Mattie Olsen, their therapist, together and separately to make sure they were both handling everything coming their way. Ali was still dealing with the effects of her stalker drama, but she was getting better and stronger every day. Ashlyn was also fighting hard to keep her PTSD at bay as her world rocked and reeled along with the changes coming at her so far that year.

The first change had come from the NWSL and the keeper had known about it in advance. 2031 had been earmarked by the NWSL for several years as the year of big changes. The league, now with 20 teams that were all selling tons of tickets year in and year out, was going through a changing of the guard as well as a structural change to the way the teams competed and qualified for the playoffs. 2030 would be the last time Ashlyn would host the annual draft in January. It would also be the last time she covered the playoffs and championship week. It was a year where they phased out the NWSL of old and ushered in the new NWSL of the future. The good news was that the league was strong and thriving. All of the famous females who had jumped in to buy the teams over the past six or seven years had done exactly what the fans hoped they would do. They put money behind the teams and developed the facilities and the rosters and brought in talented coaches and trainers to make sure all of the tremendous athletes got the support and guidance they deserved. 

In a small nod to Ashlyn, although nobody in the NWSL front office would admit to it, the final draft she would participate in was held in Boston that January. In the swirling chaos of life immediately following Emily Quindlen’s attack, Ashlyn barely managed to be present for the draft. She was there in body but her heart had trouble staying there instead of drifting back to the big old house and her recuperating wife. 

It had been a real blow to her ego when the NWSL first told her about the change, but Ashlyn’s overall emotion was relief and pride in the league for growing so big and strong that they needed a fresh new look for the future that was very bright indeed. When she was feeling optimistic, she thought fondly of Ali finally being able to celebrate her birthday the way she had always wanted to instead of having to work around the NWSL Championship Week schedule every single October of their lives. Ashlyn would continue her role as the Breakers ambassador, but even that notion had been turned on its head in March when Robert Kraft died. The keeper had found it strange that her old friend and employer and mentor hadn’t managed to visit either she or Ali in the hospital that December after the attack. It didn’t worry her so much as it surprised her. Bob Kraft had been rock solid about acknowledging the big moments in Ashlyn’s life for the past 12 years, good and bad. He had become a constant for the keeper and she had learned much from him over the years about running a business and cultivating business relationships that would help you in that endeavor. Ashlyn had been shocked when Jonathan Kraft, Bob’s son, had called her in early March to tell her that his father wanted to see her.

“There she is” Bob’s pale, withered face worked itself into a smile when he saw the best keeper who had ever played for his Boston Breakers walk into the first-floor guestroom of his Brookline mansion.

“Hey boss” Ashlyn sucked in a breath as she took in the sight in front of her and forced herself to smile back at him.

He lay in a hospital bed in the converted guest room, with monitors around the head of the bed that were connected to his heart and his fingertip. There was a clear plastic oxygen tube running across his upper lip, delivering oxygen right into his nose, and an iv bag hanging on a pole next to the bed. Jonathan squeezed her shoulder from his spot just slightly behind her in the doorway of the room. He had tried to warn her as he walked her through the immense house but nothing could have prepared her to see the man who had always seemed so full of life and adventure like this now.

“Come here” he motioned limply with one arm, his voice wavery and thin but his face still smiling.

Ashlyn sat in the chair next to the bed and leaned onto it so he could grasp her hand in his. They looked at each other for several minutes, neither of them speaking. They both smiled at each other as quiet tears rolled down their cheeks. They didn’t try to wipe them away or say anything to make it better.

“I’ll leave you...” Jonathan started to back out of the room, his own emotions rising up and choking his words in his throat.

“No, stay” Bob gasped out. “I want you to be here when she hears the plan” he nodded weakly and closed his eyes while his son came back into the room and took a seat in the chair on the other side of the bed.

Ashlyn looked nervously at Jonathan but the heir apparent to the Kraft family dynasty smiled back warmly at her, nodding to try and reassure her.

“What’s going on Bob?” she wiped the back of her hand across her cheeks to take care of the tears still there. “I had no idea you were so sick...”

“Nobody knows except my family” he patted her hand. “That’s how I want it to stay. But I needed to see you before...” he paused and swallowed hard. “I needed to see you so I could explain...”

The dying man spent the next half hour telling Ashlyn about two of the provisions in his will, relying on Jonathan to help him when he became too winded to continue. He never let go of the keeper’s hand, not for a second. They shared a long embrace, Ashlyn bending over the bed to hug him, and it was the last time she ever saw him.

“Ash, you’re killing me” Ali said, annoyed, as she climbed into the passenger seat of her wife’s Jeep an hour later. “What is going on?” 

All of the frustration vanished when she saw the anguished look on her keeper’s face.

“Baby, what is it? What happened?” she leaned across the center console between the front seats and tried to comfort her wife who had burst into tears, finally losing her shit after holding it together through the 20-minute drive from Brookline to the Knight-Harris office in Cambridge.

It took a good five minutes before Ashlyn could get words to come out of her mouth at all and Ali understood why she had insisted on meeting in the parking lot instead of coming up to the office. The brunette was thankful that she had been at the office that day instead of working from home as she had been doing more often. She had only been back to work for a week at that point in early March and she was having trouble being in her office again.

“He’s dying Al” she sniffled and tried to sit up more so she could get some air into her lungs. “Bob...he’s dying.”

“Oh no. Oh honey I’m so sorry...”

After relaying the details of his condition and his illness and his bleak prognosis, Ashlyn took a couple of deep breaths and blew her nose while the brunette watched her intently. Ali knew how much Bob Kraft meant to her wife. He had been a wonderful friend to their whole family as well as an important figure behind the scenes in both The Academy and the Mental Health Initiative. He had willingly shared his expertise with both Ashlyn and Ali over the years and both women had benefitted greatly from his sage advice and business savvy. And, most importantly to Ali, he had truly understood and appreciated and championed Ashlyn Michelle Harris Krieger.

“I’m in the will” the keeper started to explain. “He’s leaving me...I don’t even know how many millions of dollars to build a...a sports complex” she sniffled again and wiped her face with her fingers. “It’s all arranged. He’s got it all planned out. I guess he’s been working on it for a while now, just waiting for the right time to tell me about it.”

“And now that he’s...sick” Ali stammered, unable to say the word ‘dying’ even though it was the fact of the matter, “he finally told you. Oh my God, honey” she tried to find the right tone to take and struggled between sounding too excited and not excited enough. “That’s incredible.”

“He says he took care of the building – all of the planning and funding for it - and I have to figure out who gets to use it and where it’s going to go” Ashlyn took another deep breath, starting to regain control of her breathing. “And I have to name it after me” she chuckled and lifted her eyes to meet her wife’s. “It’s written in the will. I couldn’t change it if I tried.”

“I love that man” Ali whispered as her emotions took their turn. “He’s always known how special you are” she smiled as she fought off tears. “Ugh, God, I’m so happy and sad right now I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, buckle up because there’s more...”

“Whaaaat?” Ali’s eyes went wide as Ashlyn shifted in her seat and reached for both of the brunette’s hands.

“He’s giving me his shares.”

“His shares of what Ashlyn?” Ali could barely hear her wife’s voice over the pounding in her own ears as her heart rate increased and her breathing picked up.

“The Breakers” the keeper blinked, still not believing the words coming out of her own mouth. “Yeah, that still sounds insane, even two hours later.”

“Wait, he gave you, just...gave you...his shares...”

“Yeah, in the Breakers. His ownership shares. I know” she nodded with her own wide eyes. “It’s fucking insane.”

“What does that even mean?” Ali felt like she might hyper-ventilate and she couldn’t imagine how Ashlyn had managed to drive all they way to Cambridge from Bob’s house without crashing the Jeep a dozen times.

“Well, when they first became co-owners of the Breakers the Krafts only had about 30% of the shares. Over the years they bought out the other shareholders until they had complete ownership, all 100% of the shares. But they kept it separate, in two different groups or whatever. Jonathan is the primary shareholder and he owns 60%. Bob owned the other 40%, and that’s what he’s leaving to me...in his will” she dropped her eyes at the end of the explanation, more sadness sweeping over her.

“Holy fucking shit” Ali breathed out in disbelief.

So, when Robert Kraft finally lost his battle and passed away at the end of March, Ashlyn inherited his 40% share of the Boston Breakers as well as the monumental honor and task of bringing the Ashlyn Harris Sports Complex to life. Neither she nor Ali could overlook the timing of the end of Ashlyn’s employment with the NWSL. Now that she was a part-owner of one of the NWSL teams, it would be a conflict of interest for her to commentate on the games in an official capacity. They both wondered how much Bob Kraft might have had to do with it, if anything at all. Maybe it was just the universe gifting them the lucky timing. Who knew? After everything they’d been through with Emily Quindlen they were both open to whatever good, fortuitous things came their way – no questions asked.

As Ali sat there watching the Woodrow Wilson high school graduating class of 2030 take their places onstage for the ceremony and speeches, she grinned at the tall redhead near the front half of the group. They were seated alphabetically so they could file easily to receive their diplomas after all of the speeches were finished, and the Ds were early on. Meg was often in the background of group pictures because of her height and the brunette loved the fact that she was shining so brightly near the front that morning. As the principal opened the ceremony with his own welcome and speech, Ali let her mind wander back through more memories of the redhead who wasn’t her biological daughter but had become her daughter in almost every other way. As had happened frequently while Meg was growing up, Ali had been the person she had reached out to for guidance in some of her most challenging times. That whole, ‘not quite a mother’ thing allowed Meg a comfort level with Ali that she didn’t feel with either Hannah or Ashlyn sometimes – especially when it came to her changing body and sex. 

Meg’s 18th birthday was Friday, March 8, 2030 and two monumental things happened for her on that day. First, she got her official, unrestricted driver’s license from the District of Columbia, and a brand new car from Hannah. The new car had been a bit of a sore point between Hannah and Ashlyn, with the keeper still thinking it was much too generous of a gift to give anybody, forget about an 18-year old. Besides, Meg already had the used car she had been driving since getting her junior license at 16-1/2. She had proven that she could take care of her own vehicle. She may not have washed it as often as Ashlyn would have liked, but she washed it a lot more often than any of her peers did. 

But Hannah was no fool. She made a compelling argument about how hard Meg had worked for so long and how good her grades had been all through high school. Meg wasn’t a genius and her school work had always taken her more time than some of her teammates and classmates. But she had put the time in and gotten steady grades of Bs with the occasional A or C thrown into the mix. Thankfully the Cs had been few and far between. Ashlyn couldn’t deny any of Hannah’s points and finally had to concede that she was just being a stick in the mud about it. To sweeten the deal and make it a bit more palatable for the keeper, Hannah bought Meg a Jeep Wrangler for her first new vehicle. The ploy worked like a charm. Ashlyn quickly got over her objections and eagerly taught her step-daughter how to be a proper Jeep owner.

The other monumental thing that happened on Meg’s 18th birthday was a bit more private but much more significant. She had been planning on it for weeks but had some lingering fears and questions.

“Hey Megskie” Ali smiled as she answered her cellphone, using her own nickname for the girl and falling back on the one she had given to most of her friends and teammates at Penn State. They, in turn, had called her Kriegski. “What’s happening hot stuff?” she chuckled as she heard Meg groan on the other end of the call.

“So...ummm...”

“Ok, just spit it out” she sat up at the desk in the garage, alerted by the nervous stammering from the about-to-be 18-year old.

“Is now a good time to...talk?”

“Yes” Ali nodded, frowning, anxious about what might be coming next. “I’m by myself in the office at home.”

“Ok good. Can you lock the door?” Meg asked nervously, knowing the garage office layout very well.

“Alright, now I’m officially terrified” Ali tried to laugh it off but she was being honest as she walked down the stairs from the loft and locked the door on the side of the garage. “Do I need a glass of wine for this?” she laughed again on her way back up the stairs.

“No, I mean, maybe...”

It took a few more minutes of stammering and stalling before Meg finally got the question out of her mouth.

“Is there...something I can do...so it won’t hurt...the first time I have sex?” she stammered out in a breathy voice that didn’t sound like her own at all.

“Oh, wow...ok” Ali said, stunned by the question. “Definitely should have gotten the glass of wine...” she exhaled and swallowed, her mouth suddenly very dry.

“You know what?” Meg’s voice was high and hesitant. “Just...never mind. It’s ok. I was...yeah,” she laughed anxiously, “I was just kidding.”

“Oh Meg, I love you but you are a terrible liar” Ali chuckled and then sighed as her mind spun. “Maybe that’s part of why I love you so much.”

“No, really, it was a joke...”

“Just stop a minute. It’s ok. It’s ok honey. I’m just...surprised I guess.”

“There’s no good way to ask that” Meg replied quickly, almost defensively. “I’ve been trying to think of a way to ask you that for two weeks now.”

“Oh, so you’ve been planning on having sex then?”

“Ummm...”

“Meg, listen, I’m glad you asked me. That’s what we’re here for, me and Ashlyn and your mom...”

“God, don’t tell them!” her voice was very high again and Ali could hear the panic in it.

“I won’t. I won’t. Relax and breathe. Deep breaths” she coached them both as she tried to think about how to answer the question. “So, let’s start over. From the beginning. It sounds like you’re planning to have sex for the first time. Is that what’s going on?”

“Yeah. With Marcus. On my birthday...Friday night.”

“Wow, four days from now, ok” Ali nodded as her mind spun again. 

She thought back to the conversation they had shared a year ago when Meg and Hannah were in Boston to look at colleges last April. She and the 17-year old had talked about being ready for sex and practicing safe sex and the dangers of STDs and the all-important issue of consent. Meg had always been precocious, and she was unsurprisingly mature about the topic of sex. But she was still human, still a hormonal teenage girl, and she had fears and questions just like everybody else. Their talk 14 months ago had centered on her friends’ experiences with sex and the expectations associated with going to junior prom, but Ali could tell that Meg’s mind had been working hard on the subject for her own personal reasons too. The brunette took a deep breath, comforted by the fact that all of those sticky topics had already been covered, more than once. She wasn’t one to praise Hannah any more than she had to, but Meg’s mom had done a good job getting them all to talk about sex and changing bodies, starting when Meg had been just a little girl. It was something Ashlyn and Ali had copied with their own kids. It wasn’t easy but they had tangible proof – in Meg – that you could raise confident kids and equip them with the correct information they would need as they matured through adolescence and puberty into young adulthood. It was possible. Never easy, but definitely worth the effort.

“Well, to answer your question, no, not really” she began and then went on to explain what she knew about the hymen and how painful it was for it to be broken the first time a girl had sex. She spent a long time repeating that all bodies are different and sometimes breaking the hymen hurt and sometimes it didn’t and there was no way to tell until it was happening. “Just...God Meg, I don’t know how much to tell you...” she admitted and blushed. “Just...make sure you’re...excited and ready. And relaxed...”

“How can you be excited and relaxed at the same time?”

“I mean...physically excited” she swallowed again, afraid she was saying all the wrong things. “Make sure your body is ready. Uh, make sure you’re...”

“Wet?”

Ali silently let her head drop down into her hand as she leaned on her elbow on the desk. How much was she supposed to tell her? 

“Yes, wet. My best advice for everything you’re ever going to do or try is to make sure you’re good and wet and ready. If you’re not...”

“That’s when it hurts, right? Like when I tried to use the tampons before I had my period, right?”

“Yes!” Ali was so grateful the young woman was making some of the connections and had clearly done some research of her own. “Exactly. Perfect example.”

“How do I know though?”

Ali swallowed again and was tempted to go into the kitchen and get a bottle of wine.

“Have you ever been...wet?”

“Yes” Meg’s voice was quiet and shy and Ali swore she could feel her blushing through the phone.

“And have you...ever made yourself wet? Ever made yourself...feel good?”

“Oh my God” Meg whispered to herself but the brunette could hear it clearly. “Yes” there was a pause and then she added plainly, “Mom gave me a vibrator for my birthday last year.”

“Oh good” Ali exhaled the breath she had been holding. 

Her stomach lurched at the idea of Deb giving her a vibrator at any point in her life. That would have probably stopped the brunette from ever using any sort of sex toy ever again. She thought about how different Sydney’s relationship was with her mom than her own was with Deb. Something about single moms and their daughters seemed to invite or encourage the kind of closeness Sandi and Sydney shared. Hannah and Meg were very different people than the Leroux women, but their relationship was pretty similar. 

“Good. Ok. So that’s the next thing. You should know what you like and what feels good for you so you can tell him.”

“You mean we have to talk about it while we’re doing it?!” Meg’s voice was high again.

“Well, only if you want it to actually feel good” Ali chuckled.

“Don’t laugh at me” Meg’s voice was barely audible.

“I’m sorry honey, you’re right” the brunette apologized quickly and sincerely. “I’m not laughing at you though. I promise. You’re doing great. I’m just...nervous I think” she confessed.

“You are? Why are you nervous?”

“Oh Meggie, sex is such a wonderful thing and I really want you to enjoy it and I just don’t know what exactly I’m supposed to do here” she admitted honestly. “There’s not really a chapter on this in the parenting books” she laughed and groaned in embarrassment.

“You’ve always answered my questions though. Always.”

“And I will this time too. Thank you for trusting me enough to ask.” Ali took a deep breath and plowed forward into the unknown territory of giving her teenage step-daughter sex advice. “What do you know about lube?”

After an hour of question after question, followed by a separate half hour of making sure Meg understood consent and remembered everything they had ever taught her about safe sex, they were finally wrapping things up. Ali felt compelled to do her due diligence and check one last time about Meg’s big decision.

“So, Marcus is the one huh?” Ali asked the question that had been on her mind since the first time Meg mentioned him at the beginning of their conversation. “He’s a lucky guy.”

“I don’t love him. I mean, I don’t think I do anyway” Meg tried to explain the most complicated relationship in her young life so far. “I know that’s bad. I know I’m supposed to wait until I love someone, but he’s really good to me and I think he loves me. I feel safe with him and I know he won’t hurt me or pressure me into anything I’m not ready for.”

The brunette was acutely aware that they had all talked to Meg about having sex with someone you loved. It had been the party line and they all dutifully repeated it because they truly believed it. But none of them, not Ali, Ashlyn or Hannah, could deny having sex just for the fun of it. Ali knew that wasn’t what Meg was doing. She knew the young redhead had planned this out carefully and as respectfully as possible.

“It sounds like you’ve put a lot of thought into this Meg. I’m really proud of you.” She smiled into the phone. “Just remember that all of the things we’ve told you about love and kindness and respect and patience – specifically about sex – goes both ways. If Marcus changes his mind for some reason...”

“I know” Meg interrupted with a sigh that Ali couldn’t interpret. “We both want to. We’ve talked about it. A lot.”

“Well that’s good. Keep those lines of communication open, even while you’re...having sex and nervous or afraid you’re doing something wrong or whatever. Just keep talking to each other. That’s my best advice.”

“I thought it was to be wet?”

“Oh, uh...”

“Ha ha ha, gotcha” Meg laughed and sounded like herself for the first time in almost two hours.

Later that night Ashlyn’s head had almost popped off of her body when her wife told her the story.

“What??!!” she flopped onto the bed and covered her face with both hands while Ali tried to get under the covers. “Did you tell her she could change her mind? She’s too nice. She’ll feel like she has to go through with it even if it’s bad or painful...God, maybe I should talk to her.”

“No! You can’t do that Ashlyn. I promised her I wouldn’t tell you or Hannah until after she had already done it.”

“Well you lied, didn’t you?” the keeper peeked through her fingers at her agitated wife and then giggled. “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything.”

“And we talked about all of that. I think I did a good job, from what I can remember anyway” she chuckled. “Move over, I wanna get in.”

“You mean you can’t remember the most important conversation you’ve ever had with our daughter in your entire life?” her eyes were wide as she got up and got under the covers too. “You’re giving me agita.”

“Well, she just sprang it on me. I didn’t have a chance to prepare or anything. I honestly don’t remember every single thing we talked about” she shook her head. “But you trust me, don’t you?”

“Al, yes, of course I trust you” she pulled the brunette over to her and tucked her under her arm. “I can’t think of anybody better to talk to her about sex” she smiled and kissed the top of Ali’s head that was on her shoulder. “I just wish I could have seen your face while you were doing it” she laughed. “That would be worth a whole lot of money!”

“Oh stop” Ali giggled and poked her wife in the ribs. “God, I still can’t believe that happened this afternoon. I hope I did ok.”

“Honey, you hit all the important points. And you even told her to lower her expectations and that’s incredible advice that nobody ever gives. Everybody’s first time is awful, unless you’re with somebody who really knows what they’re doing. And I’m pretty sure that’s not Marcus” she chuckled.

“I feel kinda bad for him” Ali said softly. “She doesn’t love him. She’s using him basically” she shrugged. “But if she feels safe with him and trusts him then maybe it’s worth it. She’s liked him forever. Maybe she’ll find out she loves him after all?”

“Those two” Ashlyn shook her head and laughed. “Both of them too shy to ask the other one out or bring their friendship to the next level for so long. Dummies.”

“You do realize you’re the pot calling the kettle black, right?” Ali quirked her eyebrow at her adorable wife.

“We weren’t that bad” Ashlyn scoffed. “It only took us a year, less than a year, to figure it out. Marcus and Meg wasted almost 4 years. That’s just not the same thing at all. I’m allowed to judge that” she chuckled.

“Ok Casanova, whatever you say” Ali leaned up to kiss her keeper’s cheek. “I love you. And now I’m going to try my best to fall asleep and not think about Meg and Marcus having sex. God help me.”

As Ashlyn sat there listening to the valedictorian’s speech that lovely June morning, her mind wandered to the other big events that Meg had enjoyed so far that year. Aside from losing her virginity with Marcus, she had gone on her first Spring Break trip during April vacation. She and some of her teammates had gone to Florida for half of the week and, from all of the reports back from the Harris clan who helped keep an eye on them, had gotten completely shitfaced for the very first time. The 6 girls were staying with Tammye and Carol, occupying the whole basement level of the beach house. The grandmothers did their best to stay out of the way and give the girls some privacy and freedom. The idea was that if they were staying at the beach house and hanging out at the beach there and in the hot tub there, then they wouldn’t get into as much trouble as they might if they were staying in some crappy hotel at Daytona Beach or Cocoa Beach or whatever hot ‘spring break destination spot’ all the drunk college kids were going to that year. 

The other non-sports milestone for Meg that Spring had been her senior prom. This year she went with Marcus as his date and they had a really fun time. They got dressed up and rented a limo with some friends and did the whole nine yards. They took cute and cheesy pics and danced and partied and then went to the after parties that had so worried her the year before. Both Ashlyn and Hannah had talked with Meg about being sexually active after her first time back in March. They had talked to Marcus too, mortifying Meg when Hannah ambushed him one evening with Ashlyn on FaceTime. There was no angry, vigilant father to come down hard on the young man but they made sure to get a similar message across. Basically, if he hurt Meg or pressured her at any time to do anything, he would regret it. The truth of the matter was, they had only had sex one other time since Meg’s birthday. It was hard to find alone time because they were both busy at school and Meg had her sports schedules to keep up with too. She was glad she had done it and she would always remember her first time, but it hadn’t been the gateway to a busy or full sex life for her. Not yet. And that had been part of the reason she had chosen Marcus in the first place. She knew he would respect her wishes and her timeline and her pace. And she had been right. 

As Meg strode across the stage in her cap and gown to accept her diploma from the high school principal, her entire extended family hooted and hollered as they stood and clapped loudly. Meg gave them a slightly embarrassed smile and eye roll but then broke into a huge grin when she took a second and focused on them all. She couldn’t help but respond in kind to all the love and support rushing her way. She waved both hands back at them, high above her head, diploma clutched in one, and flashed the biggest smile any of them could remember seeing on her sweet face. Meg was 18 and a high school graduate. Holy fucking shit.


	2. Spring Events

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catching up on the first part of the year...

There were some other eventful moments in the first half of 2030 as well. For the first time, the East Gloucester Elementary School held a ‘Parent/Child’ dance instead of stipulating ‘Father/Daughter’ or ‘Mother/Son’ as they had done for so long. Both Ashlyn and Ali had lobbied for the change, but they weren’t alone. Even many of the straight moms and dads thought it would be better to broaden the category. It put the focus back on parents and children rather than on Fathers taking their daughters to a dance as if they were on a date. Same thing went for the mothers and sons. Obviously, there was nothing salacious about either event and there never had been. It had always been done in good fun and was never received any other way. But as soon as the topic came up for debate during school planning meetings with the parents who volunteered to help with all of the school events, the Kriegers had jumped on board and steered it straight towards the ‘Parent/Child’ solution. None of the Krieger kids seemed to care about it because it simply allowed them to pick the parent they wanted without any limitations. Ali would never admit to it, but she tried to subtly make sure the selections were evenly divided between she and her sensitive wife. Drew always picked Ali and Josie always picked Ashlyn. That left the twins and they were usually pretty pliable once Ali put her spin into it. All in all, it was a welcome change that eliminated a source of discomfort for Ashlyn. An early win for the family that winter of 2030.

Both Tammye, 67 years old, and Carol, 69 years old, retired at the end of March. Carol had been smart about her money, having learned the hard way just how vital it was to obtaining her freedom, and she had a nice little nest egg to live off of after retirement. She had made some savvy investments over the years and was still quite wealthy. Tammye had never had any money and her part-time temp job, as excellent as she was at it, did nothing more than help her pay the bills. Even though she wasn’t a Harris by blood, she had the telltale Harris stubbornness when it came to accepting money from anyone for any reason. It had taken Carol years to convince her girlfriend, and then wife, that what was hers was Tammye’s too. The Southern charm eventually got through though and Carol explained how she didn’t want to miss any more time she could be spending with Tammye. They had already missed so many years before finding each other, Carol wanted to maximize their time together in their golden years. It would be no fun for her to retire, she argued, if Tammye was still working. The couple was trying to figure out just how to be retired and by the time June rolled around they were just starting to get the hang of it.

The drama came in April. Josie fell off the jungle gym at the school playground and broke her arm the second week of the month. She was tough about it, as usual, but her teacher knew it was painful when the spunky little redhead cried her eyes out as they waited for Ashlyn to come and get her. Josie was happily surprised to see both of her mothers burst through the nurse’s door that afternoon, even though her cheeks were still covered in fresh tears. Ali was working from the home office more than usual that Spring – still not ready to be back in her K-H office for very long yet.

“What happened little one?” Ashlyn choked out, her own emotions overflowing at the sight of little Josie so upset and in obvious pain.

“She fell” the nurse offered with a sympathetic shake of her head, “right off of the jungle gym. Mr. Ingram was right there but couldn’t do anything about it” she explained. 

The jungle gym was the half-circle shaped piece of playground equipment that the kids climbed up and on top of, using the rungs of the structural squares or triangles that covered the metal frame. The problem was that there was no way for an adult to get underneath or inside of it to try and rescue a child or break their fall. Several playgrounds had removed those popular pieces of equipment over the years but the town of Gloucester hadn’t made the change yet.

“Oh, did you miss a rung?” Ali cooed as she wrapped her daughter in a comforting hug, one mother on either side of the little girl.

“Ah-huh” Josie nodded and then cried harder, relieved to have her moms there with her. It took a few minutes for her to calm down again. “I was all the way at the top” she sniffled and wiped her nose on the back of her hand.

“Here honey” Ashlyn reached behind her and grabbed a tissue from the box on the nurse’s counter. “Did you fall right through?”

“Ah-huh” Josie blew her nose and let Ali help her with another tissue, all of her usual insistence on doing things herself put aside for the moment. “Cuz I’m so little.”

It was true, and hearing little Josie state the fact so matter-of-factly made Ashlyn’s heart break. Ali felt her own heart tug too and all three of them were quiet for a few minutes before making the drive to see Dr. Comello.

“Now this brave girl will be just fine in a soft cast” the friendly doctor grinned at Josie as she sat on the end of the examination table, with a mom on each side of her again. “Not like her kid brother Dodge” Patty chuckled.

Both Ashlyn and Ali were familiar with the concept of a soft cast instead of a hard fiberglass or plaster cast. They had seen them used frequently in their soccer careers as an extra precautionary measure after a hard cast had been removed from a player’s mostly-recovered broken bone. They would wear the soft cast during practice just to make sure the freshly healed bone didn’t suffer any setbacks. All three women knew that Josie would do just fine with the soft cast. It would be successful because Josie wasn’t a maniac like Dodge was, but also because the x-ray had revealed that the fracture in her right forearm was very minor. She had tried to break her fall with her arms and she was lucky that she didn’t break both arms. She was really lucky that she was left-handed and didn’t have to try and write while wearing a cast.

“Aww, I wanted a pink cast” Josie pouted 20 minutes later after the doctor had completed the lightweight fiberglass soft cast that covered half of her hand up to just below her elbow.

“Well, would you believe that they make different colored Ace bandages now?” Dr. Comello asked playfully. “I keep some pink Ace bandages just for this reason” she winked at Josie who had a small grin on her face.

“Who’s better than Dr. Comello?” Ali beamed at her daughter and then gave Patty a grateful nod of her head.

Thirty minutes later, after the cast had dried and set enough for Dr. Comello to show the two moms how to wrap the pink Ace bandage around it for some extra support, they were on their way back up to Gloucester. They stopped for ice cream and for an extra bottle of children’s Tylenol for the pain. It was a long 4 weeks for all of them. Not only was Josie in a lot of pain for the first week, but she had a hissy fit when she realized, the very next day, that she wouldn’t be able to play the piano for a month! But she recovered just fine. Her little diva was on display full blast for those four weeks, but both Ali and Ashlyn tried to be extra patient with her. They knew she was sad and upset and aggravated. 

The only saving grace about the timing of her broken arm was that it came a week after she took the stage as Dorothy in ‘The Wizard of Oz’. She had been working her butt off to learn all her lines and songs and nobody in the Krieger clan wanted to imagine the meltdown that would have happened if she had been unable to perform. The other nice twist to that musical production at the elementary school was that both Dodge and Lily were in it too. They were both cast as munchkins with Lily getting to say a few lines which made both of her moms nervous for her. Dodge was perfectly cast as one of the munchkins in the Lollipop Guild and nearly stole the show right from underneath his leading lady big sister. All three of them did great and Ashlyn and Ali were prouder than ever of their three youngest kids. Lily loved it and signed up with Josie to do the summer theater show too. Dodge enjoyed his time a lot and was a natural onstage – to nobody’s surprise, but his heart was in sports and he had a very full schedule of them. There just weren’t enough hours in the day for him to do everything so he passed on the summer show. 

“That’s ok big guy” Ashlyn fist-bumped him after they finished kicking the soccer ball around in the backyard one afternoon that Spring. They had been discussing school and sports schedules and the subject of the summer play had come up. “You can always go back and do another play anytime you want to.”

“Or not” he shrugged and, in a boost of enthusiasm and energy, kicked the ball clear over the huge rock and into the empty lot. “Oh geez” he groaned when he saw his mother’s face fill with frustration. “Sor-reeee” he stretched out the word as he gave his mother a tentative grin.

Dodge saying ‘sorry’ would easily win the award for the most common utterance in the entire household. He said it so much neither of his moms was sure he even meant it any more. The word slipped through his lips automatically, a learned response and reaction. Nobody liked hearing it from him.

“Hurry up and go get it” Ashlyn barked as she walked with him to the gate on that side of the yard. She knew he could open it by himself but she didn’t at all trust that he wouldn’t let Logan out at the same time. “It’s cold out here now and it’ll be dark soon...”

“I’m going, I’m going” he sighed and took off down the path at a trot.

“Don’t forget to look for the ball!” Ashlyn called after him when she saw his head turn the opposite way, distracted by a bird taking flight. As frustrated as she ever got with him, which was plenty, she couldn’t help but admire his joire de vive. 

The other drama in April was 7-month old Logan getting spayed. It had been 13 years since Ali and Ashlyn and Whitney had guided both Fred and Persey through the procedure and recovery and it hadn’t gotten any easier. There was still not a good way to keep a puppy still and quiet as they recovered from surgery. Although it was decidedly less difficult when only one puppy was involved. Persey was happy to laze around and nap and that proved to be a good influence on young Logan. You couldn’t say ‘little’ Logan because she had grown into a horse. She was huge. 85 pounds with some more growing still to go. She wasn’t as big as Apollo the great dane had been, but she was definitely bigger than any of the other dogs in the extended family. Only Bandit was similarly sized but, by the looks of it, Logan would outgrow him too. Ali had expected the puppy to grow to about the same size as Kyle’s dog Luna had been. But she got a little more than she bargained for.

“How come she had to have an operation?” Lily asked one afternoon as she was gently patting Logan’s shoulder while the dog slept on her side with the protective plastic cone around her neck.

Ali and Ashlyn had explained the surgery, in simple terms, several times already in the 3 days since Logan had come home so wobbly on her legs that she looked drunk. Nobody was surprised that Lily, the dog whisperer, had more questions.

“All puppies get spayed or neutered unless you’re going to breed them” Ali tried to explain, realizing how heartless the idea sounded as she listened to her own words from her daughter’s point of view.

“So she can never have babies?” Lily’s eyes went wide.

“That’s right. Just like Persey’s never had babies either” the brunette nodded from her place on the couch on the other side of the recuperating pup.

The older, brindled dog lifted her head from her spot at the other end of the couch when she heard her name. Ali smiled in her direction and Persey rested her head back on the couch and closed her eyes again.

“But that’s so mean” Lily stuck her bottom lip out in an outraged pout, her forehead furrowed into an angry frown.

“It’s not mean sweetheart” Ali’s voice was soft and soothing as she tried to help the almost 7-year old understand a complicated subject. “You know how you get so sad when we see those stray dogs on the tv?” she asked, knowing Lily’s heart broke the same way Ashlyn’s did every time one of those sad commercials about starving stray dogs came on the tv or iPad or laptop.

“Yeah?” Lily replied cautiously, not getting the connection and starting to get upset about homeless dogs now too.

“Well, if we don’t take good care of our puppies and get them spayed and neutered like this, that’s how most of those stray dogs get born” she spoked slowly, watching her daughter’s beautiful hazel eyes – Ashlyn and Gram’s hazel eyes, start to fill with tears.

“But those doggies don’t have any place to live. They don’t have a bed or a family or any toys or anything” she cried, the ruckus waking Logan up with a loud whine. The girl’s voice was high and very dramatic as her emotions took over. 

“I know my love, I know” Ali moved over to sit next to Lily and rub her back as they tackled the tough subject. “We don’t do this surgery to hurt them or punish them. We do it so we don’t have any unwanted stray dogs...”

“But I want them. I want them Mommy. Can’t we adopt them?” the girl choked out through her sobs as she buried her face in Ali’s chest.

“Oh my sweet girl” Ali sighed as she rubbed her back some more and kissed her head in the hug. “I know you do honey. We all do. But it doesn’t work that way. It’s hard to understand but you have to trust me that this is the best way to make sure there are fewer stray dogs out there without any homes or families. I promise you honey. This is the best way we can help.”

“What’s the matter?” Ashlyn and Dodge appeared in the doorway from the mudroom to the front living room, looks of concern on both their faces.

“Oh, Lily’s sad about the stray dogs” Ali offered with her own sad frown.

“And Mommy won’t let Logan have any babies!” Lily picked her red face up and cried to the two newcomers, startling poor drugged-out Logan in the process.

“Hey, hey, we’ve gotta stay calm and quiet so she can rest, remember?” Ashlyn sat down in Ali’s recently vacated seat next to Logan and tried to keep her from getting up. “And it’s not that we don’t want Logan to have any babies, it’s just that there aren’t always people to take care of all the puppies, sweatpea. Remember we talked about this?”

“I know but...but...” Lily burst into tears again, turning back to Ali’s chest for comfort even though she had painted the brunette as the villain in the story so far.

“It’s ok Wee” Dodge patted his twin’s arm, squeezing between Ashlyn’s knees and the coffee table to get to her. “It’s ok.”

Ashlyn and Ali shared a loving look at the tender scene in front of them. This sweet, soft side of their youngest son was what kept them from throttling him half the time. He could be the sweetest kid in the whole world. His heart was every bit as big as Ashlyn’s or Lily’s, he just didn’t show it all the time. He was too busy doing things, usually at top speed and with calamitous results.

“It’s so sad though” Lily sniffled and turned to face her brother. “Don’t you want more puppies?”

Dodge took his time and considered the request before replying.

“Don’t you remember 100 Dalmations?” Dodge asked, all of the kids left off the 1 at the end of the 100 and always had. Nobody was really sure why. “Too many puppies is too hard. One puppy is too hard” he giggled and looked at a faint scar on the back of his hand from Logan’s sharp puppy teeth.

“Can you imagine what Dodger would look like if we had more than one puppy at a time?” Ashlyn’s face jumped into a grin and her dimple popped out when she saw both kids chuckle at the idea. 

The boy just couldn’t bring himself to stay away from the puppy, any puppy for that matter, regardless of how many times his moms warned him about her teeth and general uncoordination as a growing puppy just figuring her big body out. Dodge had more scratches and scars from sharp puppy teeth than all of the rest of the family put together. 

“He’d just look like raw meat all the time!” the keeper laughed.

“And what about the backyard?” Ali chimed in with her own smile and giggle. “Mama could never keep up with all the poop out there. We’d all be drowning in puppy poop!”

“Yeah, you two would have to help me every day after school” the blonde laughed again.

“No way” Dodge’s face was serious and he shook his head. “I hate picking up the poop.”

“Me too” Lily agreed with her own horrified face. “I didn’t think about that.”

“And we’d have to buy so much more dog food that we wouldn’t be able to afford to buy you guys new clothes” Ali continued, laying it on thick to drive the point home. “You’d have to wear all of Drew and Josie’s hand-me-downs, forever!”

After a few more minutes both kids were laughing and smiling again and Ashlyn had managed to keep Logan quiet on the couch. Ali held their daughter close and wiped the rest of the tears off of her face as they all focused on poor Logan with the silly-looking plastic cone around her head. She hated that thing but every time they took it off of her she started licking her incision so they had to put it right back on. After another couple of minutes Dodge got restless and moved on to something else while Lily stayed and quietly patted Logan’s shoulder again. She truly had a way with animals. Ashlyn caught her wife’s eye and gave her a wink and a small smile. Ali reached for her keeper’s hand up on the back of the couch, above Lily’s head and the Ashlyn took it and gave it a squeeze. 

There would be other times over the years, as the kids grew up, that they would have more of those hard conversations and they always turned out about the same way. Ali and Ashlyn coming together to help explain things as best they could, using both of their points of view to show their kids why things were the way they were. It was never easy, but they weren’t willing to back down. Not when their kids had good questions about important things. They both tried to be as honest as possible with all of their kids.

In early May they planted the garden again and it seemed so normal and natural that Ashlyn felt silly for ever doubting that it would be a good idea in the first place. She freely admitted to Dr. Mattie Olsen that her hunch had been 100% right about the horticultural therapy. It was hard to actually tell how effective gardening was at helping Ashlyn control her PTSD. She liked to think it was the gardening aspect of it that was making a difference, rather than just another activity that she could do with her family. They had lots of activities already, too many sometimes. Ashlyn knew, somehow she just knew, that digging her fingers into the dirt and nourishing the soil and tending to the seedlings and plants and flowers with her own two hands was what mattered. She’d never be able to explain it and didn’t try to any more. It had started out as ‘Mama’s garden’ but now they all just called it ‘the garden’ and that made the keeper even happier. That meant the kids cared about it enough to take partial claim over it. And that made her grin from ear to ear when she considered it.

Drew had always been the fussiest one about the garden but both Ashlyn and Ali knew it was because the boy just didn’t like to have his hands dirty. That’s literally all it was. He enjoyed choosing what he wanted to grow and teasing with the other kids about whose plants were flourishing and whose were not faring as well. Deb brought him some gardening gloves the second year they planted the garden, thinking that would solve the problem – but something about the texture of the gloves bothered him too. The solution, if you could call it that, was for Drew to be the holder of things that other people needed while they were gardening. That allowed him to participate AND keep his hands from getting all dirty and wet. Sometimes he carried two or three different small gardening tools and walked behind Ashlyn or whatever other adult was overseeing the gardening at any given time. Sometimes he held the hose and did the watering which turned out to be a real bonus because there was no way they were letting Dodge near the hose and Lily would have drowned everything because she wouldn’t have paid attention long enough and Josie was always too busy pulling all the weeds she could find. All the kids had their strengths and weaknesses and when it came to gardening that didn’t change. But this year, 2030, something had changed when it came to planting the garden.

“Can, can, can...” Lily stuttered just a bit, overcome with excitement about picking what to plant that year, “can I plant tiny tomatoes and the pickles this time?!”

“No, I want the tiny tomatoes” Josie whined and turned to face Ashlyn as they all gathered around the coffee table in the front living room to make their big decisions. “You said I could do them this year Mama, you promised” her bottom lip stuck out and the keeper had to stifle a giggle when she saw the mini-Ali pout in front of her.

This would be the fifth year of planting the garden and they usually planted the same few things that they knew grew pretty well and that the kids enjoyed eating, for the most part. They had branched out a few times but not too much. Drew kept growing watermelons year after year. He had never selected anything other than the watermelons and Ashlyn knew it was because it required the least amount of actual gardening. Dodge stubbornly tried year after year to grow corn but never had any luck with it. He had done carrots the second year, but then went right back to the frustrating corn. Lily settled on the small cucumbers that they pickled every year and seemed more than content with that. Josie was the one who tried something different more often than not. She had grown carrots the first year but they hadn’t turned out that well because Ashlyn had waited too long to plant them. Then she had grown cherry tomatoes, or tiny tomatoes as they were called at the big old house. Then she had gone back to try the carrots again, then pumpkins last year – which surprised everybody. But the pumpkins had been a big success – so much so that Dodge wanted to plant them this year. Josie had agreed, mostly because she knew it was her turn to plant the tiny tomatoes. She loved eating them and that’s why she wanted to plant them again. 

Josie was right and Ashlyn was about to tell her so when Drew’s voice rang out louder than the rest.

“This is so dumb” he shook his head and rolled his eyes, standing behind the other kids and keeping his distance as usual.

Ashlyn felt her temper flare and she squinted at her son while she tried hard not to ruin the exciting time for the other kids.

“What’s dumb?” Ali asked with a frown as she joined the rest of the family, having just changed her clothes after work.

“Drew said this was dumb” Dodge turned and looked up into his mother’s warm, brown eyes. 

He wasn’t typically a tattler, but he was the one who took Drew’s criticism the hardest, even when it wasn’t directed specifically at him. He looked quickly at his big brother and then leaned into Ali’s legs, waiting for the tension in the room to pass.

“The garden?” Ali scoffed, sensing her wife’s anger and trying to keep things on an even keel before tears erupted somewhere with hurtful words close on their heels. “Huh” she shrugged, “he didn’t think it was so dumb when he was eating all that watermelon last summer, did he?” she chuckled and was happy to see Dodge and Lily both smile back at her. 

It wasn’t until that night after putting the younger kids to bed that Ali and Ashlyn went into Drew’s bedroom to talk with him about it.

“Oh man, what’d I do now?” he looked nervously at his moms as they sat on the edge of his bed, Ali at his feet and Ashlyn up closer to his hips.

“We want to talk with you about what happened with the gardening and the other kids” Ashlyn started, her voice level and steady as she met her son’s worried gaze.

“I picked though.”

“Yes, you did” Ali added with a nod and a small smile. “Thank you for participating. I’m looking forward to enjoying more watermelon again this summer” she patted his shin through the covers. “But you had already been kind of a jerk about it by then, right?” she quirked her eyebrow at the boy.

Drew looked down quickly and then glanced up at Ashlyn and then Ali and then dropped his eyes again. It was hard to tell if he was angry at being called out or embarrassed by his behavior or just anxious from being put on the spot by the two people he tried so hard to please. Ali and Ashlyn were always aware of how they handled these things with Drew because of his stomach and associated anxiety. It was the only reason they hadn’t chastised him more harshly in front of the other kids as soon as he had called their proceedings dumb. But anxious or not, he had to be talked to and they weren’t going to start letting him get away with whatever he wanted to do because they were afraid of upsetting him. 

“That was very uncool” Ashlyn spoke again, her voice the same as before. 

“I didn’t mean it” he tried to explain as his face turned red. “I was just joking.”

“We’ve talked about this before bud” the keeper continued. “They all look up to you and they want to impress you and when you shoot down something they’re excited about like that...” she paused and chose her words carefully, “it’s just not nice. It’s pretty crappy. You saw how upset Dodge got...”

“He’s such a baby” Drew scowled.

“...and Lily” Ashlyn continued. “It wasn’t just Dodge though, that’s the point. And even if it was just Dodge we’d still be disappointed in you for doing that.”

“It’s not fair to them honey” Ali spoke up. “Put yourself in their position. How would you feel if you were all excited to pick the plants for the garden and somebody you looked up to just crushed you by saying the whole thing was dumb?”

Nobody said anything for almost a full minute and Drew kept his eyes down while his moms gave him time to say something. When it was obvious he wasn’t going to, Ali spoke again.

“You never had anybody do that to you because you’re older than them. But try and imagine if Meg had come home and told you your video games were dumb, or...or your trumpet, or anything. Just pick something that you love doing and then imagine Meg telling you it’s dumb. How would that make you feel?”

“I don’t know” he shrugged.

“Well try and imagine it” Ashlyn squeezed his arm softly and then patted it. “Would it make you feel good?”

“No.”

“Ok, well that’s what we’re getting at here. It’s not nice and it makes them feel bad so don’t do it.” The keeper’s voice got more pointed, despite the gentle touch. “Don’t be that guy. Don’t be that big brother who ruins everything the other kids try to do. You’re a better kid than that, I know you are.”

What Drew didn’t know was that his moms had already had an argument of their own about the garden. As careful as they had been with each other since Emily Quindlen’s attack, they were still human beings who got frustrated with each other. Ali still had a temper and Ashlyn still did dumb things sometimes. And sometimes their arguments had nothing to do with either of those two things.

“Why would you do that?!” Ashlyn whisper-yelled from her dresser near the hallway door of the master bedroom.

Ali had followed her up the backstairs once she realized the keeper was really angry with her. They had just finished making the garden planting selections with the kids and it had been stressful to begin with. Then Drew made the little kids feel self-conscious and sad. Then, as they were almost finished divvying up the vegetables to plant, Ali had done something wrong but she had no idea what.

“Do what?” the brunette whisper-yelled back as she closed the door to the backstairs behind her. The kids were all still downstairs and somebody needed to get dinner started right away or their whole nightly schedule would be irretrievably fucked up. “What’s the matter with you?”

“With me?!” Ashlyn’s whisper-yell got louder and her nostrils were flaring as she pulled a long-sleeved t-shirt over her head much more forcefully than recommended. “What the hell’s the matter with you?”

Ali stood near the foot of the bed with her hands on her hips, watching her wife and wondering what the hell had made her so upset. As she stood there, she couldn’t help but admire Ashlyn. She was sad to see her bare arms getting covered up but that’s how it went in New England. Early May was often cooler than most people expected it to be. When the blond-topped head popped through the opening in the shirt, Ali took another few seconds to appreciate her wife’s slightly longer hair. She had loved it long. She had loved the super short fade. She had loved the three or four different styles of short it had been since the car accident that had finally forced Ashlyn to make the change she had been afraid of. The only thing Ali couldn’t get behind was the top-knot. She never complained about it when Ashlyn wore it that way, typically when she was growing it out so she could try a slightly different style, but she definitely didn’t like it. And the keeper knew it. She could tell. But this look now was one of Ali’s favorites. The top was still blonde but the longer, wavier sides and back made her beautiful face look a little softer. The brunette thought it made Ashlyn’s face look younger too, not that she needed it. Ashlyn and her cheekbones were going to look gorgeous far into her old lady years and Ali envied it.

“Are you going to say something or just stand there?” Ashlyn gestured with her arms, exasperated as she walked brusquely past her wife and into the master bathroom.

“Well I don’t know what to say because I have no idea what the problem is” Ali rolled her eyes after her keeper walked past her, and then turned to follow her into the bathroom so they could keep their voices down. “Can you just tell me so I can go down and start dinner, please?”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me” Ashlyn shook her head and scowled into the big mirror over the double vanity at her wife. She was taking her contacts out and moving fast because she was so aggravated. “Sometimes you’re so...”

“Hey” Ali interrupted tersely, cocking her head as she paused. “I get it. I fucked something up. Obviously it wasn’t on purpose because I don’t even know what the hell I did wrong!” she raised her voice at the end as her temper got the better of her.

“Mama, can I have some crackers?” Josie’s little voice came from the backstairs as she knocked on the door to the master bedroom.

“No!”  
“No!”

Both moms yelled at the door at the same time. They exchanged a pathetic look and Ashlyn dropped her eyes before quickly taking her other contact out. Ali spoke again, her voice much kinder and more normal.

“Sorry Jose. I’ll be down in a minute to make dinner. You’ll just have to wait. Ok?”

“What are we having?”

“I don’t know yet...” Ali sighed loudly. “Just gimme a minute. I’ll be right down.”

There was a brief pause and then they heard Josie’s footsteps make their way down the backstairs.

“Just forget it” Ashlyn said as she walked by the brunette, grabbing her glasses off of her nightstand and reaching for the doorknob to the backstairs. Her gruff voice made Ali’s temper spike again.

“Don’t walk away. We’re not done talking. Hell, we haven’t even started talking yet...”

“Well it’ll have to wait...”

“No. We can take five minutes and talk about this. At least tell me what the fuck I did wrong” Ali demanded, still doing her best to keep her voice from echoing down the backstairs.

Ashlyn turned to face her and sighed, heavily. 

“Or is it supposed to be some kind of secret? Am I just supposed to guess what I did wrong? That seems like an awesome idea” the brunette rolled her eyes again.

“You know...” Ashlyn stammered, clenching her jaw and trying hard not to say something she would regret. “I just...sometimes it seems like...”

“Ash, please” Ali’s voice softened as she watched her wife trying to explain herself. “Just tell me what’s the matter and I’ll go down and fix it. Whatever I did or said, I’ll just be the bad guy and go and undo it.”

Just as Ali’s ire had weakened unexpectedly, Ashlyn relented and let her shoulders slump as she blew a big breath out. The fact that Ali honestly didn’t understand what she had done wrong but was so willing to do what they both hated doing – being the bad guy – to correct the error, caused the keeper’s ballooning anger to deflate.

After a few seconds of waiting to breathe and then talk, the two women blinked at each other with small, hopeful smiles. They really weren’t smiles at all, more like the absence of scowls and frowns.

“The pumpkins” Ashlyn finally nodded and closed her eyes.

“The pumpkins...” Ali repeated, still clueless.

“You told the kids they could each grow their own pumpkin plant...”

“Okaaaay...” the brunette was trying to be patient but still had no idea what could be wrong with that compromise that had enabled them to stop the bickering over the planting and get the list finalized once and for all.

“Wow” Ashlyn chuckled and let her face work into a real smile, small though it was. “You really don’t pay much attention to our garden do you?”

“Ummm...I do” Ali hedged her answer, trying to stay out of further trouble. “But I kinda like it because I don’t have to know much about it” she shrugged and grinned. “Why, is that a problem now in our fifth year of being gardeners?”

“No, not really” Ashlyn rubbed the back of her neck and chuckled again. “But if you paid more attention you’d realize how difficult you just made my life.”

“I did?” Ali made an eek face as she waited for the rest of the explanation. “I didn’t mean to honey.”

“I know, I know” Ashlyn sighed again and stepped closer to her wife, putting her hands on her hips and giving her a gentle squeeze. She made Ali wait one more minute before finally explaining what the problem was. “Pumpkins take up a lot of room. They spread out and can be invasive and harmful in the garden...”

Ali reached her arms up around Ashlyn’s neck and linked her fingers there, stepping a little closer as she listened.

“Oh!” her eyes went wide when she finally got it. “And I just increased the pumpkins from one to four, maybe five if Meg wants one too...”

“Ding ding ding ding ding!!” the keeper teased. “We have a winner!!”

“Aw, babe, I didn’t know” Ali frowned and tilted her head. “I’m sorry.”

“You should be, woman!”

“Well now I know. I won’t do that again, ok?”

“I should have just stopped you while we were talking about it, but it worked so well.”

“I know” Ali chuckled and pulled her wife into a hug. “It was like a magic spell – all the fighting stopped, just like that” she snapped her fingers and laughed again. “But I meant what I said, I’ll go down right now and tell them I made a mistake...”

“No, I think we should try it, God help me” Ashlyn groaned. “If I make another raised bed...”

“No, see, I don’t want you to do that” Ali pulled back and looked at her wife. “The garden is just the right size. You know exactly how much time it takes and you have a system that works and I don’t want to mess with that because I said one dumb thing.”

“Really?”

“Ash, I love how much time and energy you devote to the garden and doing it with the kids” she raised her eyebrows to emphasize her point. “I don’t want to change anything. It’s perfect the way it is. I’ll go down and fix my mistake.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Now that I know what it is” she quirked her eyebrow at the blonde. “What was with the whole tantrum thing?”

“Not my best moment” Ashlyn ducked her head down and shifted her weight, not sure what to say in her own defense. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you ok? Just having a bad day?” Ali lifted her wife’s chin up so she could look into her favorite hazel eyes and see the truth.

“Yeah” Ashlyn nodded. “Nothing to worry about. I probably just need to eat something” she chuckled.

“Ok” Ali pressed a kiss into her lips and then gave her another quick peck as she pulled away. She considered her favorite face for another minute, not quite believing the explanation but feeling pretty certain that Ashlyn’s bad mood had something to do with the kids arguing and fighting. Nothing tried the keeper’s patience more than that. “Well I’m gonna go make something to feed all of us. Will you live for another half hour?”

“Oh, I’ll try” the keeper grinned and patted her wife’s butt as they opened the door and made their way down the backstairs. Ashlyn was already looking and sounding more like herself after just a few minutes of relative quiet with her beautiful brunette.

“Try hard babe, try hard” Ali joked and swayed her hips to tease her frazzled wife. “I’m not doing any of this without you” she reached back for her wife’s hand and squeezed it before giving it a gentle tug. “Come on All-star.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also....Go Patriots!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> #StillHere #EverythingWeGot #GoPats #PatriotsVsEverybody #TheyHateUsCuzTheyAintUs


	3. Getting Their Groove Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning

“Mmmmmm...” Ali moaned and closed her eyes as she ground down against her wife’s long, strong fingers. 

Ashlyn was sitting on the floor of the office in the garage loft. She had her legs out in front of her, slightly bent at the knees and open just enough to be comfortable. Ali was kneeling in front of her, straddling her thighs and facing away from her. The brunette was upright, with her head thrown back and her hands resting on Ashlyn’s knees in front of her. Her medium-length, dark hair fell down her back, hitting just below her shoulder blades with her head tilted back that way. Both women were naked as the midday June sun warmed up the loft and made them thankful for the air conditioning unit that was cooling the steamy air up there.

“Damn baby...” Ashlyn mumbled into her wife’s soft locks as she reached around and squeezed one of her perfect little breasts with her left hand. She pinched the nipple and then squeezed hard again, loving the way Ali’s body was getting hot and sweaty as she approached her release. “Fuck, you’re sexy” the keeper grunted as she felt her own juices collecting between her legs. 

Ashlyn straightened her spine and pressed her stiff nipples into the brunette’s rolling back while she kept up her fast pace with her right hand between Ali’s legs. Both of her arms were wrapped around the sexy brunette and working hard at their delicious task. The keeper felt how tight her wife’s silky walls were becoming and redoubled her efforts to try and push her over the edge. Her right arm was aching from the effort but she kept squeezing her fingers together to the palm of her hand as hard and as fast as she possibly could. Her two middle fingers were deep inside Ali’s throbbing pussy and the heel of her palm was pressed up against her clit. When Ashlyn squeezed them together, reaching around and entering Ali from the front, she delivered wonderful pressure to both her wife’s g-spot and her clit. Plus, she got to hold her close and let her other hand wander wherever it wanted to explore the brunette’s gorgeous body in this position. 

This was a favorite maneuver of theirs if they were using a bed or a couch or something soft for Ashlyn to sit on and for Ali’s knees. But sometimes, like this Wednesday afternoon, there wasn’t something comfortable in the room and they had to make do with a throw blanket folded up beneath them. The office wasn’t that comfortable and that had been by design. It was a work space for both women and it was small and could get easily cramped or cluttered if they weren’t diligent about keeping it tidy. They had only added the yogibo bean bag chair that January because Ali had wanted to keep Ashlyn company out there. The brunette was in the midst of her depression and was still recovering from her concussion and some days she liked to nap to the sound of her wife’s voice. So a soft, lightweight blanket and the bean bag chair had been moved to the office loft and had never been returned to the house. The yogibo chair wasn’t great for sexcapades, they knew from experience.

“Oh Ash...unnnnhhhh...fuck...don’t stop...” Ali panted out, digging the blunt nails from both hands into her keeper’s sweaty thighs, up by her knees. They both moved together, Ashlyn letting her wife’s writhing body dictate where her own went. She leaned forward when Ali did and moved back when the brunette threw her head back again a few minutes later to let out a long, low moan. “Oh my God...holy shit...oh God!!” she shouted as her orgasm hit her harder than she expected.

Her body shook and quaked as Ashlyn held it securely in her strong arms. Ali bent over and supported her upper body with her hands on the floor in front of her, loving the feel of her beautiful keeper draped over her back, still caressing her sensitive pussy with one hand and holding her close to her chest with the other.

“Jesus baby, fuck...you’re so incredible...you fucking kill me...” Ashlyn groaned into her wife’s back as she pressed warm, open-mouthed kisses down her spine and enjoyed the lingering shivers that shot through Ali’s body. “You’re the sexiest woman in the whole fucking world. I swear to God...” the keeper mumbled between kisses.

As much as life had kept right on rolling for the Kriegers in the big old house after the terrifying events of December 14th and the ensuing recovery period that winter, both women had been deeply affected by Emily Quindlen’s actions. They had relied heavily on Dr. Mattie Olsen to help steer them through the choppy waters that followed the attack at Ali’s Knight-Harris office in Cambridge that frightening Friday night. Overall, they had come through it in pretty good shape. But it had taken lots of hard work and some intensive sessions with the therapist, both solo and as a couple. Ali’s month-long depressive episode had been difficult for both women to navigate but they had done it. Ashlyn forcing her wife to jumpstart her recovery by dragging her out of bed and to the big rock to watch the sunrise with her at the end of January had been a literal as well as a figurative wake-up call for the brunette. That had been the turning point for Ali and she had made steady progress from that point forward. Her unruly emotions and wild mood swings had become fewer and farther between with every passing week and by the time the family had returned from their February vacation in Florida, Ali seemed to be completely recovered both mentally and physically. 

Ashlyn’s recovery had been much easier physically. The scar on her upper left arm healed up nicely and, once she got the tattoo touched up later this summer, it would be as good as new. Her emotional struggle, as usual, had been the tougher battle for her to win. Ashlyn’s closest friends and family knew just how hard the keeper had worked that year on staying ahead of her troublesome PTSD symptoms. The first time they had reared their ugly head had been the last time Ashlyn thought she had lost her beloved wife. After Ali almost died giving birth to Josie, Ashlyn had fallen apart mentally and it had taken a dramatic breakdown in the driveway for those closest to her to see just how broken she truly was. 8-1/2 years later, she was faced with another terrifying threat to Ali’s life and everybody was afraid Ashlyn would suffer the same debilitating anxiety and panic that had happened before. But the keeper had busted her ass to keep that from happening again. All of the exercises she had learned and mastered over those 8-1/2 years had helped her keep her PTSD at bay this time. She didn’t know if it was the gardening or the other methods Mattie had taught her over the years, but Ashlyn didn’t really care which exact measures had worked the best for her at the moment. She was just happy that she had been able to keep her shit together at a time when Ali clearly needed to be the one to fall apart. The keeper knew, and had learned the hard way, that just because she hadn’t freaked out in December or January or February, it didn’t mean she wasn’t going to fall apart in March or April or May. She stayed diligent and did the work and went to her therapy sessions religiously, unwilling to fall into the trap of over-confidence or cockiness. 

Their sex life had changed dramatically after December 14th as well. Not only did they have to wait for Ali’s brain to heal, they had to wait for their minds to get right again as well. Both of them. They both felt raw and broken and exposed for much of January and most of February. It got better, of course, but it took time. They had only had sex a couple of times between the attack and February vacation in Florida and it had been awkward and uncomfortable for both of them at first. Ashlyn was furious that Emily had spied on them in their private moments and she had a hard time reining in that fury when she thought about the freak watching them actually have sex in the glamping cabin. That had been such a beautiful night and she and Ali had enjoyed such an incredibly powerful connection that night with the ben wa balls and everything else they had worked so hard to create for their special evening. As soon as the idea of Emily standing outside the window, not more than three feet away!, popped into Ashlyn’s head – which it invariably did – her whole body filled with rage and it killed whatever vibe she and Ali had going on in the present. Ashlyn had to find a way to keep that anger out of her sexy times with her wife. It had proven to be a very difficult problem to solve.

Ali had a problem just as challenging, but entirely different. The brunette’s rage had faded quickly, which was a constant irritant for Ashlyn. She couldn’t figure out how Ali could have stopped being so angry so quickly. It just didn’t fit with the Ali Krieger that she knew and loved. The brunette’s problem was that the anger had been replaced with something else, something harder to define and maybe more difficult to deal with. She barely understood it herself and found it hard to explain to anybody – Ashlyn and their therapist included.

“I don’t know how to describe it, really” Ali spoke softly during one of their joint therapy sessions with Dr. Olsen in April that year.

“Just imagine you’re there, with Ashlyn, and tell us what goes through your mind” Mattie suggested, hoping her painfully shy and private patient would be able to open up about her current sex life with her wife. “There’s no judgment here Ali. We just want to understand, that’s all.”

“I know, I just...” the brunette glanced quickly at her wife who was sitting a couple of feet away from her on the couch in Mattie’s office. “It doesn’t make a lot of sense...not to me anyway.”

“Honey, that’s why we’re here” Ashlyn’s careful, kind voice reached Ali’s ears just as her long fingers reached Ali’s hand between them on the couch. The keeper caressed the back of Ali’s hand and then squeezed softly when the brunette allowed her to hold it. “Just try and tell us. Let’s just see if we can talk about it and figure it out, ok?”

“Ok” Ali closed her eyes and took a couple of deep breaths as she steadied herself. “No matter how hard I try to keep her out of it when we...” she paused, but kept her eyes closed. She swallowed hard and pushed forward. “...when we have sex. She’s always there before we...before I...at the end.”

“She’s there in the room with you?” Mattie prodded gently, trying to guide Ali without pushing too hard. 

“No, thank God” Ali shook her head, eyes still closed and hand still clasping Ashlyn’s next to her. “I don’t picture her in the room with us, but I can’t keep the idea out of my head...of her...standing there, outside the window, watching us.” Ali’s jaw set and she swallowed hard again, fighting several different emotions. “I just flash to her standing outside that window at the cabin...and I...I...it makes me want to throw up” she gasped. “I feel sick...every time we have sex...” her admission was quiet but earth-shaking. She gave an apologetic look to her wife with sad, watery eyes. “I’m so sorry. I’m trying so hard...”

“I know you are baby, it’s ok” Ashlyn scooted over and pulled Ali into her chest as the brunette’s face crumbled into tears. “Shhhh...it’s ok. Everything’s gonna be alright. Shhhh...”

The sad truth was that it was just going to take time to make both problems go away. The bad news was that sex was such an important part of their relationship that this problem was huge for the couple. When they were struggling, they had always been able to turn to that physical connection between them. That connection that was never stronger than when they were having sex and strengthening that bond between them – that was the key to their relationship and they both knew it. That was why they wasted no time turning to Mattie for help. The wise and trusted therapist gave more good advice to the couple and encouraged them to keep talking and being open and honest with each other as they worked through this latest obstacle.

“Try and take advantage of the spontaneous moments” Dr. Olsen had suggested. “If you’re planning to have sex you have all of that time to think about it and worry about it. Try and use the element of surprise on your minds. I think it will help short circuit a lot of the complex emotions you’re both feeling about sex right now.” She paused and let her words sink in a bit. “I know with four children and your busy household that’s a tough ask” she chuckled good-naturedly. “But try. Ali, you’re working from home more these days so that might present some different opportunities than your typical commuting work-day schedule would usually allow” she shrugged and gave them a friendly half-smile. “I’m not saying let your business run into the ground...” she joked and winked, “but try and be open to intimate times that aren’t scheduled or at routine times. By changing one part of the equation, like the timing or the setting, maybe your brains will reset or turn off or perhaps just be confused enough to focus only on the here and now.”

“Ok Doc” Ashlyn nodded and gave her wife’s hand a kiss, “we’ll try it.”

“I’ll try anything at this point” Ali agreed and blushed a bit. “I’ll do anything to get her out of our bed and my head.”

And that was why Ashlyn had returned to the big old house that Wednesday afternoon in June and climbed the stairs to the garage loft to find her wife and surprise her with some spontaneous sex on the office floor. Ali had initially declined the invitation but put aside her paperwork when the keeper reminded her of how the spontaneous sex had been helping them overcome their Emily issue in the bedroom. It was true. Even with Ali working from the home office more it was difficult to find time for unplanned sex, especially unplanned sex in a place that wasn’t their bedroom. They’d be crazy to pass up this opportunity.

As the brunette recovered from her strong orgasm, still kneeling astride her wife’s legs, Ashlyn laid down on her back and guided Ali backwards on her hands and knees until she finally resisted.

“Hey, your back won’t make it through this...” she looked over her shoulder to try and see Ashlyn’s face. “And my knees are killing me.”

“Well you’d better get off of them then” the keeper smirked and moved her own body underneath Ali’s to get into the 69 position she was angling for. “And my back’ll be fine. It’s my everything else that’s gonna explode if I don’t get to taste you right this fucking minute.”

Ashlyn’s voice was thick with desire as she leaned her head up to lick her wife’s inner thighs, pulling Ali down at the same time until she finally relented and rested her whole bodyweight on top of the keeper with a whimper and a whine. The worry Ali felt about hurting Ashlyn’s back, as well as the lower-level anxiety she felt about being in this position – the same position they had been in that night in the glamping cabin – dissipated as soon as she realized how wet her keeper was.

“Jesus Ash...you’re so fucking wet babe...mmmmmmm...” she dove into her wife’s soaked pussy lips without another thought about anything but how turned on she was and how sweet Ashlyn tasted on her tongue. “Fuck...”

The spontaneous sex was working well for them, but they were still busy, working moms with schedules to adhere to and child pick-ups and drop-offs to contend with. They both knew they didn’t have a ton of time before they had to be at the elementary school to pick up the kids. 2pm came much too quickly for them that afternoon, but not before they each came again. Ashlyn bemoaned the limited time she got with Ali on her chest, right in front of her face in her favorite spot, but understood that the spontaneous sex was the most important thing for them that afternoon, superceding everything else like comfort and favorite spots and lingering, luxurious cunnilingus. Time hadn’t been their friend since Drew had been born 11 years ago and they were still scrambling to get dressed in time that afternoon.

“Here, you’re twisted” Ashlyn undid the hook at the back of her wife’s bra, untwisted it and then hooked it together again. She pressed her still-naked crotch up against Ali’s bare ass as they both stood there, close together and not wanting to separate. Ali pushed back against the short hairs that were tickling her skin and turning her on again at the same time. “Hey now” Ashlyn cautioned as she finished with the bra and let her hands fall to her wife’s hips. “One of us has to get the kids, so don’t get me all worked up again” she pleaded, desire clearly audible in her voice.

“You started it...” Ali defended her actions and sucked in a breath when she felt Ashlyn’s long fingers stroking her sweet spot by her left hip. “Ash-lynnnnn...” she whined. “That’s not fair.”

“Hey, your ass does that to me so I think it’s more than fair” the keeper left a lingering kiss on her wife’s neck and breathed in the intoxicating scent of sex that filled the space around them. “Fuck Al...”

The alarm on Ali’s phone went off and both women jumped into action. They separated their bodies immediately, knowing that was the only way to stop themselves. 

“I’ll go. I interrupted you and you’ve probably got lots left to do” Ashlyn offered as she shimmied into her boxer briefs after turning them rightside out. She noticed how wet the crotch was and wished there was time to get a clean pair.

“No, it’s ok. I’ll go” Ali turned to face her wife as she stepped into her panties with a hop to keep her balance.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I want to” Ali shrugged as she struggled to pull her shorts up her still-sweaty legs. “I might not be able to when they start school again in the Fall. Right now, while I’m here more, I’d like to do it. There’s only another week left anyway” she explained as she turned around a full 360 degrees. “Where’s my shirt?”

Ali had been trying to reclaim her office at Knight-Harris the way she had reclaimed the big old house and everything else in her life, but it hadn’t worked yet. And it hadn’t been that long yet either. They had to wait for the police to clear the crime scene which had taken several weeks. No-one was even allowed into Ali’s office until the official investigation had cleared the space and declared it closed. Even at the end of March when everything else in her life was well on the way to recovery, Ali couldn’t sit in her office for more than a couple of hours without starting to feel a panic attack coming on. She and Mattie had been working on some of the same PTSD exercises that the therapist had trained Ashlyn to use all those years ago. The exercises helped, but the brunette wasn’t making much progress when it came to her office. Both Jared and Whitney had offered to swap offices with her, if that would help. And Ashlyn tried to convince her to take either her or Hilary’s ‘empty’ offices that were really just places to collect trophies and awards for the two company namesakes. Ali just kept telling herself she needed more time. Just more time and then she’d be able to overcome her fears in that office. Just a little bit more time.

Ashlyn loved having her wife home more that Spring. And once they had an honest conversation about it and decided to just accept the change and schedule around it accordingly, everything got easier at the big old house. Once Ali admitted that she was having trouble being at her K-H office and wanted to work from home, Ashlyn was able to spend more time in the city and make more appointments now that her schedule had opened up so much more. Ali had taken over the ‘stay at home’ mom role starting about mid-March and hadn’t looked back since. She had slowly taken over the garage office and Ashlyn never complained once. As had always been her way, the keeper didn’t really care where her work stuff was, as long as she could get to it and do what needed to be done. She started leaving her work stuff on the old plan table at the back end of the garage loft and letting Ali have the desk all to herself. It made her nostalgic to spend time at the plan table, sitting on the stool there and remembering how she and Niki had put Ali’s first office together for her on the third floor of the big old house. That had been another tough time for the couple as Ashlyn practically made herself sick trying to get that office done, ask Ali to move in with her, discover the buried history of Grandma Lilian and her lost boys, and still keep up her grueling schedule as the starting goalkeeper for the Boston Breakers. There was some kind of poetic symbolism about Ashlyn sitting at the same plan table this year, as she and her wife recovered from everything Emily Quindlen had done to them. The blonde drew a special kind of strength from it and never once pretended to understand it.

“Ummm...” Ashlyn joined her search and tried to remember what she had done with the t-shirt she had taken off of her wife only an hour earlier. “Got it!” she yelled up from the bottom of the stairs and tossed it to Ali who was trotting down the steps with a goofy grin on her face.

“Thanks” the brunette leaned into her wife and tried to give her a kiss but Ashlyn stepped back and held Ali at arm’s length.

“No way” she chuckled. “You gotta get dressed first or I won’t be responsible for what happens next and then our children will be abandoned at school...”

“Fine, whatever” Ali laughed as she quickly pulled the t-shirt over her head. “There. Now kiss me...”

“Nope, it’s inside out” Ashlyn shook her head and pointed at her wife’s chest. “And I’ll get blamed for that too...”

“Oh hush” Ali rolled her eyes as she fixed her shirt. She knew her keeper was right though. She totally would have blamed Ashlyn for letting her leave with her shirt inside out. “There. NOW kiss me” she quirked her eyebrow and put both hands on her hips as she stood on the bottom step.

“Ok, but don’t blame me...” the keeper grinned and her dimple appeared as she leaned up to capture her wife’s lips in a sweet kiss that quickly turned passionate.

Ali’s alarm sounded shrilly again and snapped the two women back to reality.

“Back-up alarm” Ashlyn nodded, impressed, as she stepped back and opened the door on the side of the garage for them both to step through. “Smart Krieger. Very smart.”

“Hey, I’m more than just a pretty face” the brunette teased as she sashayed past her wife and moved quickly towards the driveway and house so she could grab her purse and keys.

“And a sweet ass” Ashlyn added with a lusty laugh as she gave her favorite derriere a nice firm pat. “I know. Lord help me woman, I know.”

Healing from what Emily Quindlen had done to their lives was an arduous task. It had many layers to it and it took time and that combination seemed to make it bigger and more unwieldy than some of the other obstacles Ashlyn and Ali had overcome together in their past. By June 2030, 6 months after the attack, the big old house had been cleaned, and cleansed, and repainted. It felt like theirs again. The blue stone had been purified and Ali gratefully carried it with her to her quarterly ultrasound appointments, again finding the comfort and strength there that she had always relied upon. Ashlyn and Ali were both physically healed and mentally healed and were working hard to reclaim their sex life from Emily’s grubby gaze too. Everything was pointing in the right direction, up and onward, and the young Krieger family was firing on all cylinders again. Which is why Ashlyn couldn’t begin to fathom why Ali would even consider going to visit Emily and returning the gold cross necklace that was so important to the sick woman.

“I just don’t get it, ok? It’s not that I’m not trying to understand, I really really am. I just...don’t” Ashlyn dropped her hands into her lap, her frustration bubbling over and the fear and anger evident in her high, strident voice.

“Alright, let’s just take a minute and breathe” Mattie suggested, looking quickly from the frustrated hazel eyes on her left, then to the fiery brown ones on her right. “That’s good Ashlyn” the therapist nodded evenly. “Can you understand why she’s frustrated by this Ali?”

They had just spent the past twenty minutes talking about all the progress they had made as individuals, and as a couple, and as a family, over the past 6 months. Dr. Olsen had been thrilled to hear about the success Ashlyn and Ali had been enjoying getting their sex life back on track as well. Everything was getting better and there was more optimism and hope than ever before. Then Ali had revealed that she wanted to go visit Emily in the mental hospital and return her gold cross necklace to her. Ashlyn had almost stormed out of the appointment until she realized that Ali had set up this couples appointment specifically to tell her about this decision because she knew she would need Mattie’s help. They both would.

“Yes, I can” the brunette tried to reach for her wife’s hand but Ashlyn refused it, crossing her arms with a scowl on her face. Ali reluctantly pulled her hand back to her own lap and continued trying to explain. “I know it seems reckless, but...” there was a long pause. It was so long that Mattie had to step in.

“Do you feel like doing this is important to your recovery Ali? Do you think it will benefit you, and Ashlyn, in the long run?” the therapist offered, helpfully.

“I do. I really do Ash” Ali shifted so she was facing her wife on the couch, pulling one leg up and reaching over to grab Ashlyn’s knee with one hand. “We’ve worked so hard and come so far – just like you said” she squeezed her wife’s knee and left her hand there, hoping to help establish that connection they’d been fighting so hard to rebuild. “There’s no way I would risk any of that if I didn’t really need to do this.”

“Why do you need to do it though? It doesn’t make any sense” Ashlyn shook her head and turned her red, tear-streaked face to look at her wife. “What can she help you with?”

For the first time, Ali understood why Ashlyn had been so hellbent against this. Ali had been talking about doing this for months and she and Ashlyn had been fighting about all along too. Ali just realized that the keeper was jealous, on some level. She was afraid that Emily Quindlen could provide something that she herself could not. It felt like Ashlyn had done all the hard work to get them to the precipice of complete recovery, and Ali needed Emily Quindlen to give her the last little push over the finish line. It felt fucking awful.

“Oh honey, it’s not her” Ali pulled herself closer to her wife and wiped the tears off of her face with the back of one hand while squeezing her leg even harder with the other. “Listen to me Ashlyn, please baby, listen to me very carefully. I don’t want anything from her. I don’t need anything from her. Do you hear me?”

“Then why do you have to go see her?”

“Because I need it for me” Ali’s eyes darted around as she tried to find a better way to explain herself. “It’s like when I had to write her that letter before I could move in. Remember?”

“Yeah, but you didn’t really send it to her” Ashlyn sniffled and frowned, confused and a little frightened.

“I know, but it’s the same idea. I needed to write that letter. I didn’t need her to read it. I didn’t need anything from her. But writing that letter helped me close the door on that part of my life.”

“Not so much though really” Ashlyn let out a soft chuckle even though her face was still sad and apprehensive.

“Hey, I’m not the one who opened the door after 12 years” Ali smiled back at her favorite face. She adored it even when it looked back at her with all of the conflicting emotions filling it right now.

“This time, instead of writing a letter, I’ve suggested that Ali go and tell Emily what she needs to say to her” Dr. Olsen explained evenly.

“YOU did?” Ashlyn’s head whipped around to face the therapist. “This was your idea?”

“It was” Mattie nodded again. “And I understand your anger and your fear Ashlyn. They’re both very normal reactions to this situation.”

“What the hell Mattie?” the keeper glared at the old woman and there was no way to misinterpret her displeasure.

“Hey, it might have been her idea but I’m the one who brought it up. I’ve been trying to figure out what to do about her necklace” Ali came to their therapist’s defense. “And maybe this will help me with my office too. Mattie thought returning the necklace in person and delivering a message of my own would be the last piece I needed to really put this all behind me, once and for all.”

They were all quiet for a couple of minutes, brains processing hard. Finally, Ali spoke again.

“I want you to come with me Ashlyn. I understand if you don’t want to or if you can’t...but I want you to be there with me. I want to show her that I’m yours and that you’re mine and that we’re together forever and that nothing she could ever say or do or post or write or whatever will ever change that. The whole reason I want to see her is to tell her my truth, our truth, once and for all” Ali pulled Ashlyn’s hand to her lips and gave it a soft kiss before holding it in both of her own again. “It’s completely ok if you don’t want to Ash. I don’t know what I’d do in your place. But I want you to be there. I want to show her she didn’t beat us, that she could never beat us, not ever.”

“There’s nothing wrong with not doing this Ashlyn” Dr. Olsen added, trying to make sure the sensitive keeper had a way out of the emotional land-mine of a meeting they were proposing. “It doesn’t mean you don’t love Ali if you decide not to do this. It doesn’t mean anything other than that you don’t want to do this. That’s all. Ali understands that. We’ve talked about it and we both know how difficult this might be for you, for anyone.”

The piece to this puzzle that hadn’t been addressed between Ali and Ashlyn very often was the fact that Ashlyn had nearly killed Emily Quindlen with her bare hands. The keeper would struggle with that for the rest of her life. Her feelings on the matter fluctuated wildly between remorse for almost killing her to regret for not actually killing her and giving Ali true freedom from the deranged woman for the rest of their lives. Mattie and Ashlyn had been working hard on this topic since the very first time Ashlyn had talked with her after the attack. The keeper didn’t like to talk about it at all, with anyone. But she knew she had to. She knew she had to force herself to talk about it or it would eat her alive. So she talked with her therapist about it, every week. And that was it. Ali and Whitney had confessed to each other that Ashlyn didn’t share that part of that night with either of them and it made them both worry.

“I don’t get it” she dropped her blonde head and shook it slowly. “The last thing I’d want is to see her again if I were you.”

“But Ashlyn, your experience with Emily is vastly different than Ali’s experience. They were once in love, engaged to be married and share a life together. There’s a history there that you can never truly understand, no matter how much of it Ali shares with you.”

Those words made Ali drop her eyes, embarrassed by her own poor decisions in her youth. She was ashamed that she had made such a huge mistake and mortified that the very mistake had come back into their lives for all the world to see – destroying so many things in the process.

“She’s got nothing I want, babe...”  
“You don’t have to be embarrassed Al...”

Both women spoke at the same time, trying to reassure the other. Mattie smiled to herself and breathed easier for the first time in several tense minutes. Something about these two always restored her faith in humanity. The fact that they were both sitting there feeling different heavy things but putting those fears and worries aside to try and make their partner feel better – that was what it was all about. That was true love on full display.

“You’re the one who’s helped me Ashlyn. You’re the one who makes me stronger and better every day. You’re the one I need to make me whole again and right again and normal again. Only you.” Ali cupped her wife’s cheek and traced her cheekbone with her thumb. “I’m sure it feels shitty that after all the work we’ve put in together on this, I need to go see her to put it all behind us. I’m sorry about that honey. I really am.”

“I know you wouldn’t do it if you didn’t really need to” Ashlyn replied softly, her eyes still down but her cheek nuzzling against Ali’s hand. “It’s ok. I don’t have to understand it I guess. I trust you.”

“Oh Ashlyn...” Ali whispered before wrapping her keeper up in a big hug. “I’m so sorry honey. I’ll never forgive myself for what she did to us. God, I’m so sorry...”

“It’s not your fault baby” Ashlyn held her wife tightly. “None of this is your fault and you know that. But that’s ok if you forget sometimes. I’ll be right here to remind you” she pressed a kiss into Ali’s head, very near to the 6-month old scar at the back left of it. “She’s sick and it has nothing to do with you. You did the best you could. Nobody blames you for any of this. Nobody.”

Mattie let the two women hold each other for several minutes as powerful emotions settled back down and heartfelt ‘I love yous’ were exchanged. They were almost out of time and Mattie was about to propose that they make another appointment to continue the discussion about visiting Emily Quindlen when Ashlyn spoke up, her voice clear and strong.

“I want to go with you...to see Emily. I want to go with you.”

“You do?” Ali looked quickly at Mattie but the therapist was studying the blonde’s face. “Are you sure?”

“I am” the keeper nodded. “I think everything you said is a good idea. Let’s show her what real love looks like. Let’s show her what a great team we are. Let’s show her how united we are and always have been.”

“And always will be” Ali added with her own nod. “Thank you. I know this will be hard for you...” the brunette was painfully aware of the potential danger this posed for her sensitive wife’s psyche. “But I won’t let you fall Ashlyn. I know what happened that night still bothers you, a lot, and I know you don’t want to talk about it with me – and that’s ok” she held her wife’s face in both hands and directed every bit of love and devotion into it. “But I won’t let it destroy you. No matter what. I promise you.”

So on Tuesday, June 18th, one day before Josie’s 9th birthday, two days before the last day of school, and 5 days before the first session of The Academy, Ali and Ashlyn drove to McLean Hospital in Belmont, MA. McLean was still a top-ranked psychiatric hospital, but it was different than most others of its kind because of its combination of teaching, treatment, and research. Most other institutions focused on only one of those three areas, but McLean had always been an overachieving and groundbreaking facility. It was a teaching hospital for Harvard University medical students as well as home to the Harvard Brain Tissue Resource Center – the largest ‘brain bank’ collection of research specimens in the world. 

Emily Quindlen had accepted a plea deal to avoid trial for attempted murder, among several other charges. The mentally disturbed woman would spend the rest of her life institutionalized and under intense supervision. Even after she went back on her medication and if she managed to get her bipolar disease under better control, she would still be required to live as a committed psychiatric patient, under lock and key. Edward and Janice Quindlen had sent Ali a letter thanking her for encouraging the ADA to accept the plea deal that had allowed their daughter to go back to McLean to get the treatment she needed. The alternative would have been disastrous for Emily’s mental health and her parents were well aware of it. The letter also included an apology of sorts, although it was shrouded in upper-class bigotry and homophobia and almost impossible to believe. Ali had written back to them and pointedly placed much of the blame for Emily’s present condition right at them.

“Your daughter is a lesbian, or maybe a bisexual, and your continued refusal to accept that fact has led us all to where we are today. I blame you two far more than I blame Emily. She’ll never be able to accept herself for who she is unless you two accept her first. And I know you’ll never be strong or brave enough to do that” the brunette had written bluntly back in March when she had finally been feeling better and more like herself. 

Ali wasn’t sure if it was really true or not, if she blamed them more than Emily herself, but she wanted to make sure the Quindlens understood their starring roles in the tragedy that was Emily Quindlen’s life.

When Dr. Mattie Olsen had reached out to the psychiatrist in charge of Emily’s case she wasn’t sure if he would agree to let Ali and Ashlyn see his patient or not. There were many good reasons not to allow it, just as there were many valid ones to permit it. There was a good chance that Emily, now medicated for 6 months and in better control of her mental illness, would benefit from the visit herself. One school of thought believed that if she saw how happy the object of her misplaced affection was with Ashlyn that it would help solidify the line between fantasy and fact. If Emily saw Ali and Ashlyn together, in person, and had a real tangible conversation with them it would be hard for her to deny those facts and that reality when and if her brain tried to tell her that she and Ali were still a couple. Ultimately, the experts at McLean decided the potential benefits outweighed any anticipated discomfort or upset their patient might endure during the brief visit. Ali and Ashlyn were allowed to visit for not longer than 30 minutes, under supervision, and with Emily wearing restraints.

Ali’s heart broke a little bit when Mattie relayed the details of the arrangement to her. Emily wasn’t an animal, she didn’t need to be restrained. 

“Ali, I know you have complicated emotions about Emily, but the facts are the facts” Dr. Olsen reminded her sternly during the last therapy session before Ali would face her ex-fiancee and stalker. “She tried to kill your wife.”

“I know, you’re right” Ali agreed quickly, angry with herself for letting the past cloud the present again. “I hate what she did to me, and to Ashlyn, and our family. I’ll never forgive her for it and I can’t...” she stopped abruptly as her throat tightened around her fear and sadness. “I can’t even think about what I’d be doing right now if she had killed Ashlyn. I won’t.” She took a few deep breaths to steady herself. “I want to tear her apart limb from limb when I think about her following our kids around. But none of that matters now. I mean, it can’t help me now. What I need to remember is that this meeting is for me. I can’t get sucked into those sad, pathetic eyes of hers. I can’t let myself feel sorry for her. She’s done terrible, awful things and she deserves to be punished for them. And she needs help too.” 

The brunette took a minute and studied her own hands as she tugged anxiously on her fingers. Mattie knew what Ali’s problem was.

“Not all mental illness is the same Ali” she spoke the words she had shared with the brunette several times over the past 6 months in their other private sessions. “Ashlyn’s mental health is one thing but Emily’s mental illness is something else. They’re not the same. You’re allowed to feel compassion for Ashlyn and still be angry with Emily. You don’t have to be ok with what she did just because it was done while she was mentally ill. You’re not required to forgive her for it or make excuses for it.”

“Ashlyn would never hurt anybody else, not ever” Ali spoke quietly but with devout conviction.

“I agree” Mattie nodded kindly. “So my best advice is still to treat Emily and her mental illness as its own, unique thing. Don’t confuse it or diminish it because you have compassion for Ashlyn’s struggles with mental health. They’re not the same and you’d be doing everybody a great disservice if you don’t remember that.”

The brunette hadn’t even told Ashlyn about that part of her therapy work with Mattie. She was afraid her keeper would think she thought Ashlyn was capable of doing something like that. The blonde was already having a hard enough time with the fact that she almost killed Emily. And that had absolutely nothing to do with her mild depression or PTSD. Ashlyn was defending her wife and herself and her family and if she had succeeded in ending Emily’s life that evening in Ali’s office, she wouldn’t have been charged with any crime. All the same, Ali kept that part to herself and made a silent vow not to fall victim to sympathy generated by her compassion for mental illness in general when Emily gave her whatever sorrowful look she was going to get.

“You ready for this?” Ashlyn asked quietly after they had been searched and scanned for weapons or deadly objects.

“Yes. I just want to do it and get it over with. I’m so ready to move on” she looked into her favorite hazel eyes and was relieved to see love and compassion in them. She had been afraid that Ashlyn wouldn’t be herself during the visit – that she would shut down or just be an empty shell of herself as a self-preservation technique. “Thank you honey, for doing this with me” she leaned up and kissed Ashlyn’s soft lips. “I love you so much.”

They were ushered into a small room with two couches facing each other and a coffee table between them. There was a small window high in the wall opposite the door they had just walked through. The coffee table was bolted to the floor with steel and wasn’t going to budge an inch no matter who tried to move it. There was a steel ring that was part of the steel structure at the base of the coffee table and the restraints around Emily’s wrists would be secured there once she was seated on the couch. Ali and Ashlyn sat next to each other on one couch and tried to decide if they should hold hands or not, kicking themselves for not discussing it beforehand. Before they could come to a decision, the door opened and Emily shuffled through with two guards accompanying her. She was wearing grey sweatpants and a long-sleeved Boston University t-shirt in the familiar school colors, white with red letters and crest. Ashlyn felt her eye twitch when she recognized the same shirt that her wife sometimes wore.

Emily’s 5’5” frame looked twice as big as it had back on December 14th, and Ali was stunned by the woman’s obesity. She knew, from reading Emily’s journal, that she had lost a significant amount of weight since abandoning her medication, but the visual impact of seeing her at what had to be her greatest weight was unexpected. Emily’s light brown hair was longer now, and fell almost to her shoulders in straight, limp strands. Nothing about her face looked remotely like the girl from BU, not even the blue eyes that Ali had recognized in her office 6 months earlier. Now, back on her medication and undoubtedly taking even more as the doctors tried to find the right mix of drugs that would help Emily the most, her eyes were flat and dull and sad. Ali swallowed the gasp that almost left her lips when she took in the sight of her stalker. She felt a tiny bit of relief that she only saw her stalker – there was no trace of her ex-fiancee. That small win empowered the brunette.

Ashlyn squeezed Ali’s hand, having taken hold of it quietly and discreetly as soon as the door had opened. Despite her own proximity to the woman as they fought on the floor of Ali’s office, she had never really gotten a good look at Emily. Nothing about what she saw standing before her now changed her opinion of the woman. The stalker. The kidnapper. The attacker. The shooter. The attempted murderer. The different descriptive phrases flashed through Ashlyn’s mind as she watched Emily shuffle towards the opposite couch. Her legs were shackled and the guards secured her wrist shackles to the ring on the coffee table base. They reminded everybody of the rules and then took positions on either side of the room, one near the door and the other near the window. There was no touching, no shouting, no singing – which Ashlyn found a strange inclusion to the list – and no exchange of anything other than words. If something had been allowed into the room, like Emily’s gold cross necklace, the guards would facilitate the exchange when the time came.

Emily Quindlen sat down heavily and sighed from the exertion. She kept her eyes down, not wanting to look at her visitors. A minute later, a trim looking, middle-aged man with a clipboard, who wore a white lab coat over his tie, joined them and sat next to Emily on what was left of the couch. He introduced himself to the visitors and encouraged Emily to look up and greet them as well. She refused, nothing but labored breathing coming from her in response.

“Hi Emily” Ali began nervously. She had to fight the friendly urge to smile, all those years of training as a sales rep and an agent had taught her that a friendly smile was always the best way to start any conversation or negotiation. “Thank you for letting us come and see you today” she paused and looked quickly at her wife who nodded back at her supportively. “The first thing I want to do is introduce you to my wife, Ashlyn. I don’t think you’ve ever met.”

“Hi Emily” Ashlyn spoke clearly, but without any warmth in her voice. “It’s nice to meet you, officially.”

The doctor nodded his head and they all looked at the patient, waiting for her reaction to steer the next step. After two agonizingly long minutes of silence, the doctor spoke.

“Emily, I think it’s important for you to face Ali and Ashlyn and hear what they have to say today. You probably won’t get this chance again...”

“Oh she’s definitely not getting this chance again” Ali added matter-of-factly. She wasn’t argumentative or bossy, but she wasn’t kind either. “We’re not ever going to see each other again Emily. So if you have something you want to say to me, to us, now is the time to do it.”

Emily raised her eyes slowly and looked from Ali over to Ashlyn.

“We did meet” she nodded at the keeper. 

“I wasn’t counting...last time” Ali swallowed as she tried to explain that the night of the attack didn’t count.

“Me either. It was just about a year ago, at a VIP event at the stadium. You signed autographs for us” Emily’s voice was soft but it was clear to see that her brain was functioning well. “I’m a season ticket holder. Well, I was.”

“I don’t remember that. I’m sorry” Ashlyn shifted a little uncomfortably in her seat and it was Ali’s turn to give her hand a squeeze.

“Don’t be” Emily blinked at the keeper in what almost seemed like a friendly gesture. “You were great. You were nice and considerate and you went out of your way to talk to all of us. Even me.”

There was an awkward pause as Ali and Ashlyn exchanged a look and the doctor praised Emily for participating in the conversation.

“Good Emily. Thank you for joining us” he made notes on his clipboard and smiled encouragingly at his patient. 

“Ok, I guess I’m just going to say this then” Ali spoke up, determined to say her bit so they could get out of there as soon as possible. “Emily, I know you’re sick and I’m sorry about that. But I can’t forgive you for what you did to us or for what you tried to do to Ashlyn. You tried to kill her and there’s no other way to say it.”

Emily flinched when she heard Ali’s words and she dropped her eyes again. 

“Ashlyn is my wife. She’s the love of my life and we are a team and nothing’s ever going to change that. I want to make sure you understand that Emily. You were my first love and I’ll never forget you, but you and I are never going to be together again. Not ever. That’s all in the past and it needs to stay there. I’m never going to be with anybody but Ashlyn.”

“And I’m never going to be with anybody but Ali – no matter what you read on the internet” Ashlyn added, trying hard to keep the sneer out of her voice. “So you don’t ever have to worry about that. We love each other very much and we’re in this for the long haul.”

“Emily, do you understand what they’re saying to you?” the doctor asked after another silence.

“Yes” the patient nodded slowly. “I do.”

“Here, I want you to have this back” Ali pulled the gold cross necklace out of her pocket and held it up, letting it dangle from her fingers. “I know it’s important to you.”

“My necklace...” Emily whispered as her face lit up. She instinctively tried to reach for it and the chains of the restraints clinked against the steel of the table, loudly reminding everybody exactly where they were and what was really going on. “Can I have it, please?” she turned to her doctor with a desperate look on her face.

“Yes” he nodded at one of the guards who stepped forward and took the necklace from Ali. He inspected the cross and handed it to Emily who grabbed it eagerly with thick, fat, fumbling fingers.

“Thank you” she whimpered at Ali as she bent her head down and tried to secure the gold cross around the back of her neck. She looked like she might cry. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. But Emily, this is the last time we’re ever going to be in contact. We have a restraining order against you and, even if you get out of here someday, you can’t ever come near me or Ashlyn or any of our family ever again.” Ali’s voice had risen and her words were firm and forceful. She was irked that Emily was paying more attention to the necklace than she was to the message she was trying to get across. “Are you listening to me? If you ever come near me or my family again I’ll press charges and there won’t be a plea deal involved. I’ve never been more serious about anything in my entire life. I will make sure you get sent to prison for the rest of your life where you won’t be able to hurt anybody ever again.”

There was another slight pause as the brunette’s fiery words settled around them. Emily looked up, touching the cross around her neck and smiling slightly when she felt the smooth, cool metal under her fingertips. Her words came next, surprising everyone with their frightening honesty. They were the last words Ali or Ashlyn would ever hear the woman speak because Emily was never getting out of McLean.

“I think that’s probably best. I didn’t mean to hurt anybody or scare anyone” she looked quickly at Ashlyn who stared back at her with distaste. “But I love you Ali” she shrugged and focused on the brunette again with a small but unsettling smile. “I always have and I always will. I know that now. I can’t fight it so I’m not going to try any more. I don’t care if my parents understand or accept it. I can’t keep waiting for them to wake up. I am who I am and I love who I love and that’s all there is to it. I don’t know if they can fix me for real this time” she glanced at the doctor who gave her another warm smile. “But just in case, it’s probably better for everybody if I just stay locked up so I won’t be tempted again.”


	4. Stadium Talks

“Let’s go Revs!!!”  
“Come on Tanner!”  
“Go Wild Go!!”

The members of the Krieger and Wild families cheered loudly from the outdoor seats of the K-H suite at the Boston stadium. It was a double-header Saturday and they had already watched the Boston Breakers beat the New York Power in the 4pm game. Now the New England Revolution was trying to hold up its end of the deal and drop a loss on the visiting New York Red Bulls in the 7pm prime time match. They were making one last offensive push before halftime and Tanner Wild was sprinting up the pitch with the ball at his feet, looking to make another brilliant pass for an assist. It was June 29th and Ashlyn, Josie, and visiting Lizzy Harris were all there between attending weeks 1 and 2 of The Academy. As promised the year before, Chris and Beth let Lizzy come up and go to the first three weeks of the Academy. She was ecstatic. Not only was she excited about playing soccer at the camp again and hanging out with her cool Auntie Ashlyn, but she got to fly on an airplane all by herself for the first time too. Big doings for the 10-1/2 year old. 

It was Josie’s first time being old enough to attend the Academy as an actual camper too and it was harder to tell who was happier about that – Ashlyn or Josie. Ali just called it a tie and loved how much her girls were enjoying their 2 weeks together. Josie was only going for two weeks because she had her heart set on drama camp during week 3. Ashlyn was doing her normal routine, as much as it killed her to leave Josie and Lizzy at the Academy without her. The keeper knew they were completely fine, but she selfishly wanted to be there with them and share every moment she possibly could with the two girls. Whether the two girls wanted the same thing was another matter altogether. Each week, Ashlyn went to the first day of camp on Sunday, stayed over Sunday night, went home Monday evening to see Ali and the other kids, went back to camp Tuesday and stayed over Tuesday night, went back home again Wednesday evening, and came up Thursday for the last half day of camp. Ali brought the other kids up, as long as they weren’t at their own camps, each Thursday afternoon for the cookout that closed each week for the coaches and their families. It was hectic, but that was how their summers were. 

“Where’s Mama?” Dodge asked Ali, shortly after halftime began. He had enjoyed a busy day and was already looking a little tired at 7:55pm.

“She’s up there, dumb dumb” Drew pointed at the big tv on the wall of the suite behind them. Ashlyn’s big, beautiful face filled the screen as she was interviewed by the MLS broadcast team in their booth.

Ali shot Drew an irritated look. He took out most of his big brother dickishness on his younger brother, sparing his sisters more often than not. Neither mother liked it and they both made sure Drew knew it. It killed Ali that her sons didn’t have the close relationship that she had always enjoyed with her own brother, Kyle. But she was hopeful that they would grow out of their quarrelsome young relationship and develop a more loving and mature one someday in the future. They just had to. 

“Don’t talk to your brother that way” Ken Krieger admonished the older boy in his quiet but steady voice. “Let’s watch” he got up and went inside, tousling the thick dark hair on top of Drew’s head to make sure he knew he was still loved, even when being corrected like that. “I thought Tanner was going to get another assist there” he shook his head.

“He should have stayed wide and pulled the defender with him” Drew answered nonchalantly.

“Oh yeah?” Ken asked as he and Ali exchanged a surprised but pleased look that neither boy caught. “And why would that make a difference?”

“Cuz there’d be more room for the forward on the far side to make his run” Drew shrugged as he focused his eyes on the television image of his mother.

“I love a good soccer mind” Ken beamed and Ali laughed.

“Mommy, why do they keep saying ‘coner’?” Lily asked when Ken, Ali and the boys stood behind she and Josie who were watching Ashlyn on tv with Brianna and Vicki.

“Co-owner” Ali clarified, emphasizing the two words so Lily understood. 

“Because she’s the boss lady now!” Koty winked and gave Ken and Brianna high-fives at the same time.

“Everybody knows Mommy’s the boss” Josie’s face scrunched up in confusion as she nodded towards Ali and then looked at Koty like he had nine heads.

The ten or so people within earshot of the 10-year old redhead howled with laughter, leaving Josie to look quizzically at her mother.

“Oh Jose I love you so much” Ali kissed her daughter’s cheek while the laughter started to die down. “Remember? Mama is one of the co-owners of the Breakers soccer team now. That’s why Koty said she was the boss lady.”

“Because technically, she’s Tanner’s boss!” Koty laughed, still enjoying Josie’s previous reply.

There hadn’t been an official announcement about it but it wasn’t really a secret either. And Koty was misrepresenting things too. Ashlyn didn’t own any part of the New England Revolution, just the Boston Breakers. Robert Kraft’s death had been covered as the major story that it was back in March and it had just taken people a couple of months to figure out the new ownership arrangements for the Breakers. One of the soccer reporters, one of the good ones that Ashlyn had always liked, finally put some clues together and did some research and asked the right questions of the right people. She was able to scoop everybody else and run the story earlier that week. She had even gotten some comments from Jonathan Kraft and Ashlyn herself. The Krieger kids didn’t really understand it and Ali and Ashlyn hadn’t spent a ton of time trying to see that they did. They just told them that Mama had a new job with the Breakers, in addition to her other jobs, and that had been good enough for them. Some of the media had been critical of the move made by the late Robert Kraft and plenty of ‘experts’ expressed their concerns that a former player might not be able to grasp the differences between playing for an NWSL team and running one. Thankfully, several of the better soccer experts and media folks had defended the decision and Ashlyn’s soccer acumen in general.

The bigger and more problematic issue was regarding the potential conflict of interest between Knight-Harris and The Breakers’ new owner. How would having Ashlyn Harris as an owner impact the contract negotiations of the players who were represented by Knight-Harris? What nobody knew was that Bob and Jonathan Kraft had talked about it before finalizing the decision to bring Ashlyn into the ownership group in the first place. Bob had assured his concerned son that Ashlyn would never in a million years use her position to exert any undue pressure at negotiation time for the players, or for the organization. Jonathan had needed a little convincing, stating accurately that Ashlyn wasn’t even one of the agents that the Breakers General Manager would be dealing with, so how could Bob make such a confident claim? Bob had argued that the fact that Ashlyn wasn’t an agent only further proved his own point about her ability to remain impartial. Bob presented a compelling argument that there would be improved relationships between the organization and the K-H agents. That could only help both parties, he contended. The Breakers and the Revolution GMs had always enjoyed wonderful relationships with the K-H agents who represented the players. Having Ashlyn in her new position would only enhance and improve it.

The Breakers lawyers and the Revolution lawyers and the Kraft family lawyers had all worked together and come up with a document that stated, basically, that Ashlyn’s position at K-H would not be used in any way to influence the contract negotiations between the Breakers and the athletes that K-H represented. There was a separate but similar paragraph about the Revolution players as well. Ashlyn did her due diligence and had Whitney examine the document before she signed it, but all parties agreed it was mostly just for posterity. Nobody wanted any unnecessary or unkind media attention so they were all just being extra cautious about closing any open loopholes that could be misunderstood by overzealous woso fans or half-hearted ‘cover woso only when something scandalous happens’ media. Bob Kraft had addressed the issue in his will, making a statement specifically about it in his endorsement and praise of Ashlyn Harris as the newest member of the ownership group. It was almost like he was apologizing to Ashlyn for the potential discomfort of the issue. His matter-of-fact explanation and support of the former keeper had been good enough for everybody so far. Only time would tell if lazy journalists and bored pot-stirrers might somehow make something more out of it. If they did, then the Breakers and K-H and Ashlyn would handle it head-on.

“But you’re still the boss at home, right Mommy?” Lily giggled, not really sure why it was funny but recognizing that it was.

“That’s absolutely right Lil” Sydney cackled and patted her best friend on her back as she passed behind the group with a fresh beer in her hand. “Mama knows it too.”

As the game played on and the Revs scored three more goals to put the game away, the popular ‘Go Wild Go’ chant picked up again throughout the stadium. Never in their wildest dreams had Koty or Tanner Wild thought they would hear their name chanted so loudly by 25,000 plus people. It still felt like a dream for most of the Krieger and Wild family members, in all honesty. Tanner was one of the best defensive midfielders playing in the MSL and the Revs had never once regretted making that deal that Ali had come up with on draft day back in 2024. They were so happy with their hard-working, intelligent, scrappy, and talented midfielder that they had signed him to a long-term contract before his rookie deal was even up 2-1/2 years ago. Tanner was still small for the league, but he wasn’t tiny. He wasn’t like Spud Webb playing in the NBA – that man had been barely half the size of his teammates and other players in the league. Tanner was just not quite as tall and beefy as the bigger players in the MLS. But what he lacked in size and raw physical power he more than made up for in soccer smarts, skills, technique, and heart. He was one of those players who rose to the next level when the games got tough or when the playoffs rolled around. He was a winner, plain and simple. He found a way to help his team win almost every single time. The Revs had risen to respectability shortly after Tanner had been drafted and they had been building better and better teams every year since then. Many believed that 2030 was their year. The Revs had a good blend of players in terms of age, experience, skill and leadership. They were all hoping 2030 was the year they went deep into the playoffs and challenged for the Cup. The Revs were long overdue.

“Sometimes I can’t believe my kid brother, that little runt” Koty chuckled, “is making all this noise in the MLS” he shook his head, grin never leaving his face. “It seems crazy.”

“He’s not such a runt anymore” Ken cocked his head at his older stepson as he playfully defended the younger one.

“No he is not” Koty agreed with a nod. “But he still kind of looks like it out there, compared to all the beasts that are playing these days.”

“I know” Vicki added, her face creased with worry. “I’m terrified somebody’s going to break him, every game.”

“Oh honey” Ken pulled her into a side hug as they all kept their eyes on the waning minutes of the game. “He’s smart and he knows how to take care of his body. You know that.”

“Ugh, that’s one thing I don’t miss since Ash retired” Ali added and rolled her eyes. “I mean, aside from the obvious exception” she made a stricken face as she referenced the December attack, “but other than that...I don’t feel that dread every time she took the pitch anymore.”

“Yes! I know that dread” Vicki nodded emphatically. “I hold my breath half the time I watch him play...”

“And she covers her eyes the other half of the time” Koty teased.

“You just wait until you have your own” Ken quirked his eyebrow at the 31-year old structural engineer. “Then you’ll understand.”

There was a passing moment of awkwardness as both Koty and Vicki looked over towards the modern leather couch inside the suite where Brianna was sitting with Dodge sleeping on her lap. It wasn’t common knowledge but Brianna and Koty had been trying to get pregnant for about a year without any luck. Brianna had just turned 29 years old that year, she was the same age as Tanner, and she had realized that her life plan of having a baby by the time she was 30 was about to fall apart. They were certainly plenty young enough to have babies for the next decade, but they were both finally ready to embark on the parenthood journey after enjoying the aunt and uncle gig for so long. Brianna had wanted to wait until her nursing career had been established and that was definitely the case by 2030. It was time to have a baby. Which meant it was time to think about all of those other things that happened when couples had babies. They would have to think about a kid-friendly car, and a bigger apartment or maybe even a house. It was exciting and stressful, but both she and Koty were looking forward to it. They were trying their best not to freak out about how long it was taking to get pregnant, and that explained the awkward pause and furtive looks towards Brianna that evening in the suite.

By contrast, Tanner Wild was still sowing his wild oats and in no hurry whatsoever to settle down. Maybe it was watching his own parents’ marriage end in divorce that kept him single. Or maybe it was the abundance of young, beautiful women who were eager to spend time with him or any other male athlete with a pulse and a wallet. Tanner was making very good money now, not Ronaldo or Messi money by a longshot, but he was able to buy the things he wanted. Like a swanky condo in one of the most exclusive buildings in Boston and an expensive Mercedes coupe that went much faster than he would ever be able to drive anywhere near the city. He also might have been looking at his older step brother and step sister who had both found love in their 30s. Ali had been 31 when she met Ashlyn for the first time and Kyle had been 35 when he and Nathan finally started dating. As far as Tanner could tell, he had plenty of time to find the right woman. He just wasn’t sure exactly where to look. He knew he wanted more than what most of the soccer groupies could offer but, for the time being, he wasn’t interested in spending a lot of time on the search.

The rest of Ashlyn and Ali’s siblings, step or not, were doing well too. Donnie and Lori Christopher were both still single and doing their own things – complete opposites in so many ways. Donnie, now 31, continued his climb to the top of his investment company, sparing little or no time for his family and drawing the ire of both his sister and his father. Mike Christopher was one of those guys who made a lot of excuses for his kids. He didn’t spoil them rotten or anything, but he was tirelessly optimistic and positive about their behavior, regardless of what that behavior sometimes was. Mike made excuses for Donnie when he didn’t make time in his busy schedule to come and visit him after the heart attack that nearly killed him. He made more excuses, optimistic, well-meaning ones, when Donnie didn’t make it to Boston for Christmas that year either. Lori had been the one to bitch him out instead, but her outrage made no discernable difference. Donnie was a man on a mission it seemed, and nothing his family said or did made an impact on him. Deb had always loved those kids like her own and had done her very best to be a good, loving influence in their lives. She had married and moved in with Mike when Donnie was 8 and Lori was 6. They had shared many impactful and loving times for the next decade and they all got along well. But even good, kind Deb had run out of patience with Donnie Christopher by 2030. She found herself being thankful when he didn’t make it to whatever family event had been planned. She wasn’t sure how she would be able to hide the contempt and disgust she felt for the way he had been treating his family – his ailing father more specifically.

Lori was 29 and still the slightly flighty, free-spirited sweetheart she had always been. If you didn’t take a few extra minutes to assess her properly, you would think she was a real ditz. Lori had always been a compassionate champion of whatever cause happened to catch her eye, or her heart, at the time. Everyone had always assumed she would grow out of it and settle into some sort of real career once she graduated college and began her own grown-up life. But she had simply continued fighting for the things she believed in, even after graduating from the University of South Florida with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Social Work. Over the 8 years since she had graduated, Lori had worked for several different advocacy groups in Florida, earning her Masters of Social Work advanced degree along the way and maintaining her pure heart and limitless dedication to improving the lives of so many different types of communities. She really was the other side of the coin to her brother’s greedy capitalism. The siblings loved each other but there was never a quiet moment between them when they were together. Their politics and beliefs about what was important in life causing debate after debate. Luckily, they still found a way to keep things mostly civil as they argued their points of view. Deb wondered how long that would last though.

Chris Harris had kept his word to his wife and the rest of his family and continued to work hard to stay clean and sober and productive. Truthfully, he hadn’t stopped since he had been released from rehab 2 years ago. It was as if he was afraid if he stood still for too long his addiction might catch up with him again. He had started working with the afterschool program for kids at the surf shop and spending tons of time at the rehab center trying to help other addicts get and stay clean. He had made good on all of his promises and had been a model husband and father and son for the past 24 months. He and Beth and the kids were happier than ever and the big man seemed hell-bent on making up for the anguish he had caused during his agonizing fall off the wagon. Johnny still had moments of doubt and challenged his father’s resolve sometimes, but Chris never blamed him. He knew exactly the hurt that his son was remembering and trying to process because he had felt his own father’s neglect when he had been a boy. Chris wasn’t as carefree and lighthearted as he had been before his fall, and that made everybody sad. But they all knew what it was – part of Chris’ own psyche wasn’t able to forgive himself just yet. Maybe he never would be able to. It would just take time and a lot of hope. 

Kyle Krieger was doing well too. The only big change was his reluctant admission that he needed glasses. His eyes were nowhere near as bad as his sister’s but he was now an official member of the ‘Kriegers looking cute in glasses’ club. Nathan thought they made him look distinguished and Kyle decided he could work with that, so crisis averted. The real trouble in the Krieger-Kimball family had been the unexpected passing of Nathan and Jared’s father, Bill Kimball. He had gone in for his annual checkup in March and been diagnosed with a fast-moving, aggressive form of prostate cancer that had already metastasized by the time they found it. Bill did his best to fight it, enduring chemotherapy and radiation treatments, but the 3-4 month prognosis he had been given had been painfully accurate. He was so sick at the beginning of June that Nathan and his family didn’t even travel to DC for Meg’s graduation. Bill lost his battle a week later and now, barely two weeks after that, the Kimballs were all still reeling from the sudden and shocking development. 

For the time being, Iris Kimball was staying in the family home in Ipswich because she simply had no plans to do anything else. Jared was doing his best to be there for her, and Nathan had spent most of his weekends in Ipswich as well. There was just so much to consider and it had all happened so damned fast. Kyle and Nathan also worried about how Edgar, 10, and Cristina, 8, would take the news. In the 4 years that they had been living with Kyle and Nathan the two Guerrero children had come to love both Iris and Bill – Abuela and Grandpa Bill to them. So far, those 4 years of love and stability and family had provided strength and courage enough for both kids to handle their latest loss without too much extra anxiety. Cristina had been particularly close with Grandpa Bill and her therapist believed it was because she had enjoyed a close relationship with her own grandfather in her past, harrowing, young life with her abusive mother. Kyle and Nathan spent hours worrying about how this new loss of a beloved grandfather figure would impact the young girl. Edgar appeared to be the one who had the more difficult time though, at least outwardly. He cried often and talked about how sad he was to lose Grandpa Bill. Ken Krieger had always been there for the two Guerrero kids, for his 6th and 7th grandchildren, and he told Kyle and Nathan that he would do anything he could to make sure Edgar and Cristina knew he was still there for them, that they still had a grandpa who loved them.

It was the closest death that Ali and Ashlyn’s kids had experienced yet, although losing their neighbor, old Mrs. Ornstein, the year before and Mrs. Riley, their cleaning lady a few years before that had hit close to home too. Both of those women were in their daily lives but weren’t really family. Grandpa Bill had become a fixture at holidays and family events once Kyle and Nathan had fostered Edgar and Cristina, and all of the kids, even the Dwyer kids who shared most of those holidays and family events, were hit hard by the death. There hadn’t been any time to prepare. There was no way to combat the terrifying feeling that some grown-ups that you loved were there one day, and then gone the next. Everybody had seen Bill for Easter at Sydney and Dom’s house, and he had made a very brief appearance at Dodge and Lily’s informal family birthday party dinner on May 13th, but that was it. In the 4 short weeks after that, his condition had deteriorated so quickly that it was all Nathan could do to get his work schedule arranged so he could take a leave of absence and go to Ipswich to be with him before he died. It was sure to be a difficult, challenging stretch of time for Iris and both her sons. But, thankfully, they were talking about it and helping each other get through it so far.

The shocking news about Bill Kimball made Ashlyn and Ali start paying even more attention to the rest of the grandparents. Those grandparents found it annoying and a little insulting and more than one of them told their daughter and daughter-in-law to mind their own damned business a few times. 

“Think about it though, they’ve all got something going on and they have for a while” Ashlyn spoke softly but urgently as she stood in the hallway near the K-H suite during the first half of the Breakers game that afternoon.

“Like what though?” Sydney asked, concern in her voice, as she waited in line with Ashlyn and Ali for the bathroom.

“Well Mike’s heart is the biggest thing, right?” Ashlyn looked for confirmation from the brunette and got a nod in return.

“Sure, but he’s been doing pretty good with his diet,” Ali considered the many times she had heard her mother complain about how hard it was to get Mike to do what he was supposed to do to keep his repaired heart working well, “I think.”

“And my dad’s a mess between his bad hip and his liver” Ashlyn’s eyebrows went up. “It’ll be a miracle if he doesn’t need to get a transplant someday soon.”

“Don’t forget his skin cancer too” Sydney added, trying to be helpful.

“Oh shit, that’s right” the keeper shook her head slowly and dramatically, “I forgot all about that.”

“But he had that procedure done to help take care of that though” Ali referenced the Mohs surgery where the surgeon removed a layer of skin and kept going until they get to one that didn’t have any cancer cells in it. Sometimes it was done as a preventative measure and sometimes it was part of a treatment plan once the skin cancer was actually diagnosed. Mike Harris’ had been the actual treatment kind. “I think he’s ok now, as long as he’s careful.”

All three women shared a look that expressed doubt and concern.

“My mom’s thyroid went crazy but she’s getting it sorted out” Sydney shared, trying to offer up a positive outcome to lighten the mood a bit. “It makes more sense about my thyroid now too.”

“Yeah, if she’s got the same kind as you” Ali agreed. “How come it didn’t come up until now?”

“Was yours really early or is hers really late?” Ashlyn asked the same question Ali was about to.

“I don’t know” the coach shrugged and chuckled. “But I’m going with she’s late to the party.”

They continued rattling off all of the ailments their parents and step-parents were dealing with as they got older. Deb had her bad back which flared up a few times a year and one of her knees had recently started to bother her too. Ken Krieger was probably the healthiest among them with only high cholesterol and the normal decrease in his vision to tackle. Vicki was the one with more serious eye trouble and she was the youngest of the grandparents by 3 or 4 years. She had undergone surgery to repair a damaged retina that Spring and it had gone well. But there were other things the eye doctor wanted to keep tabs on so she wasn’t completely in the clear yet, even after her successful surgery. Tammye’s osteoarthritis continued to get worse and make her hands too painful to use sometimes. That wasn’t new, but the excruciating bunions she had developed over the last several years were starting to become a problem that had to be dealt with. The doctors suspected that the osteoarthritis was starting to impact her feet as well as her hands and the bunions were the first indication. And Carol wasn’t getting through the list unscathed either. Her hip had been bothering her for a couple of years now and she was scheduled to have a hip replacement done early in the new year. She wasn’t interested in wasting any of her retirement limping around. She wanted to enjoy her time with Tammye and she couldn’t very well do that if she was trying to do everything on one leg.

“Jesus. You weren’t kidding Ash” Sydney’s eyes were wide as they finished the roll call of illnesses in their loved ones of a certain age. “Every single one of them has something.”

“Listen, I’m scared too, but most of this is normal aging stuff. It’s what happens when your body gets to be 60-whatever years old, right?” Ali asked hopefully as they finally got to the front of the line. She was looking for some reassurance so she could believe her own positive spin.

“Totally” Sydney nodded, looking a little relieved. “That’s right Alibaba.”

“Yeah, I guess so” Ashlyn paused and took a deep breath. “But I think we finally found the only drawback to having so many grandparents in our lives.” They all exchanged a quick, concerned look before the keeper finished solemnly, “so many grandparents to get sick.”

They waited in silence, each woman thinking her own frightening thoughts about the frailty of old age. There was nothing to be done except take excellent care of yourself and they were all three already doing that – at least for the most part. It had been a sobering conversation indeed.

The Revolution won their game, giving the home teams a victory in both games of the doubleheader that Saturday at the end of June and thrilling the boisterous home crowd. As the K-H suite guests gathered their things and collected their various children and other paraphernalia, the atmosphere was happy and light. Even the sleepy kids seemed less grumpy than usual at 9:30pm. One of the Revolution front office staffers popped his head into the suite to try and get Ashlyn to go and do an impromptu session with some reporters. The keeper gave her wife a questioning look, blocking everything else out except for Ali’s beautiful face. Once she got the nod, Ashlyn walked quickly down the hall with the staffer, telling him that she would only be able to stay for 30 minutes and not one minute more.

“So close” Vicki chuckled as she put her arm around Ali’s shoulders back in the suite, both women watching the door close behind Ashlyn. “You almost made it out of here” she smiled into the side hug.

“You’re too good” Sydney said as she hugged her best friend goodbye, all three Dwyer boys making their way slowly to the door. “I’m taking them downstairs and then I’m leaving. They can come with me or stay and wait for Dom – but I’m going home” she laughed. “Mads is toast” she shook her head and looked at her youngest son, 6-year old Maddox. “Look at him, he doesn’t even know where he’s going. He’s just following his brothers and hoping for the best.”

Most of the other visitors had filed out after another 10 minutes and it was just Ken, Vicki, Koty and Brianna left in the suite with Ali, the four young Krieger kids and Lizzy Harris. Ali didn’t really mind waiting for her wife. She was used to it from her playing days. Honestly, she couldn’t remember a time during or after Ashlyn’s playing career when they had left the stadium promptly after a game. The delay made it easier for them to get out of the stadium and out of the parking lot and out of the city. She’d rather wait there in the comfy suite than sitting in traffic. The down side to the delay was that the kids sometimes got cranky as they got too tired to be patient.

“So what’s Meg up to this summer?” Brianna asked quietly from her spot on one end of the couch, Dodge still asleep with his head in her lap. “She must be so excited to start college this Fall. It’ll be great to have her up here now.”

“Yeah, we’re all excited about it too” Ali answered with a smile as she sat on the end of the couch near Dodge’s feet. “You sure you’re ok with that dead weight on you?” she chuckled. 

“He’s good” Brianna grinned. “Promise.”

“Isn’t she going to Spain for the World Cup? Did I hear that right?” Vicki looked from Ken to Ali and back to her husband again.

“That’s right” Ken replied. “She’s there now, right Princess?”

“Mmm hmmm” Ali nodded and let Josie sit on her lap. “Don’t touch your brother” she spoke to the redhead whose feet were dangerously close to Dodge’s. “Hannah took her for the last two weeks of the tournament. She’s beyond excited. They’re having a great time. The final is next Sunday so they’re halfway through their trip now.”

“Wow, can you imagine going to the World Cup for two weeks?” Koty’s eyes went wide. “That’s awesome.”

“Only thing better would be if it was the Women’s World Cup” Brianna winked and giggled, loving the way her husband rolled his eyes in defeat.

“Going to Spain is awesome” Vicki added. “She’s a lucky kid.”

“She did a good job planning out her summer. I’m impressed and I can appreciate a good travel itinerary” Ali giggled. “She took the first two weeks after graduation off and just relaxed with her friends. Then she went to Spain with her mom for two weeks. When she gets home from that she’ll have a week to recover” everybody laughed because they all knew how much Meg loved to sleep. It was typical of every young athlete they had ever known. The joke was that all they did was eat and sleep when they weren’t with their teams. “Then she’s coming up here to volunteer at The Academy for a week...”

“Are you bringing all the kids up for that week?” Ken asked, trying hard to remember the parts of the plan he already knew about and had agreed to participate in himself.

“Yep. Week 4 of the Academy we’ll all be up there. And then Meg’s flying down to DC with us right after that so she can get all packed up and ready for the big move.”

“That’s right, you’re doing family vacation in DC” Koty remembered.

“I thought we were going to Washington for vacation?” Drew asked as he came and sat on the arm of the couch next to Ali, leaning against her and tugging on Josie’s hair by accident.

“Ow! Drew!” Josie yelped and gave her brother a dirty look.

“What?”

“Get off of me bud” Ali pushed him more upright with her shoulder and tried not to lose her patience. “You pulled her hair.”

“I didn’t mean it” he scowled back at his sister.

“Just calm down” Ali quirked an eyebrow at Josie and then moved it to Drew. “Everybody spread out, there’s lots of room here.”

“But there’s only one couch” Drew complained as he stood up.

“Well there’s no room left on it” Josie gave him another hard look. “You snooze you lose.”

“DC means Washington DC” Ken explained, answering Drew’s question and hoping to distract him from becoming a pest and stirring up trouble. He invited the boy to come sit on his lap in the nearby chair, opening his arms wide and smiling when Drew joined him.

“It does?”

“DC means District of Columbia” Josie offered as a small yawn escaped her lips, “but it’s not really a state like Massachusetts.”

Ali gave her father a surprised look and he returned it with a big smile.

“What a smart girl you are” Koty winked at her. “I’ll bet you did some reading about Washington, DC to get ready for your trip, didn’t you?”

“Yep” Josie smiled as she leaned her head back into Ali’s chest again. “I can’t wait. Do you know how many museums and waterparks they have there?”

While Josie and Koty talked about the educational and recreational offerings in our nation’s capital, Vicki and Brianna and Ali finished their conversation about Meg’s summer.

“We’re going to visit some of my mom’s relatives in Virginia while we’re there, and do the tourist thing for 10 days to close out July” Ali picked up with the plan. “Then Ashlyn and Hannah are going to drive Meg and her moving van up to Boston and get her settled into her dorm.”

“Wow. It’s really happening” Brianna shook her head in disbelief but kept the smile on her face. “I’ll bet Ash is excited.”

“She is. Freaked out too, but mostly excited” Ali chuckled. “That drive will either be the best thing ever...”

“Or the worst thing ever” Vicki sucked in a breath, remembering the complicated emotions surrounding sending her own kids off to college. “How’d you get out of doing that?” she giggled.

“Ha!” Ali laughed a quiet version of her short shout of a laugh and her face broke into a nose-crinkling grin. “Somebody has to fly home with everybody else” she shrugged playfully. “If they survive the drive” she winked, “then Meg’s college team is going to The Academy for week 7 to kick off their official training camp. Their first preseason game is at the end of that week...”

“Friday, August 9th” Ken announced, looking at the calendar on his phone like the proud grandfather that he was. “At UConn.”

“Road trip!” Koty enthused. “How fun will that be?!”

“You ok cheering for BC honey?” Brianna asked her husband sweetly. 

They all knew Koty’s complicated history with Boston College and appreciated Brianna getting the subject out in the open so they could all hear from him first hand. Nobody expected him to have a problem with Meg going to the school where he had started his college career, but it was good to hear him say it anyway. He hadn’t been good enough to make the BC soccer program and it had led to his downward spiral and subsequent drug and alcohol problems. After getting sober and transferring to Tufts, where he met Brianna, Koty had turned his life around and never looked back at those dark times. He stood near the other end of the couch and held his wife’s hand, bending down to kiss it.

“I’ll be just fine” he smiled sincerely at the group but there was a twinkle in his eye as he stood up again. “Besides, who says I’ll be cheering for BC?” he teased. “I hear UConn’s got a pretty good team these days.”

His joke was met with a barrage of boos and empty threats from everybody, including Drew who had followed the conversation better than anybody expected. Lily and Lizzy even got up from the comfy chair they had been sitting in, entranced by a game on Lily’s kids kindle, to join in the fun.

“Mommy” Josie spoke quietly from Ali’s lap but there was excitement in her voice.

“Yes, love?”

“I can’t wait for Meggie to move here” she squeezed Ali’s forearm where it rested lightly across her own stomach.

“Me either honey” the brunette smiled down at her daughter and kissed the top of her head. “Me either.”


	5. The Neighborhood

The new neighbors across the street, the ones who had finally bought old Mrs. Ornstein’s house once her family had dropped the asking price considerably, were not what Ashlyn and Ali had been hoping for. Beach Road wasn’t full of mansions or super wealthy homes, but it was a nice street with people who took good care of their houses and property and kept everything looking respectable. All of the houses were decorated and styled differently like a normal street - it wasn’t a community where they all had to agree on what could or couldn’t be on the outside of your house or property. It had taken Ashlyn and Ali a few years to get to know most of their neighbors beyond just remembering their name and waving when they passed each other on the street, but they had put the effort in and done it. They had both grown up on streets where people knew each other and they wanted the same thing for their own children, if they could possibly make it happen. Julie and Neil Donaldson were their closest neighbors and closest friends in the neighborhood. Luckily, the Donaldsons got along well with almost everybody so the Kriegers had gotten a boost with the other neighbors by befriending Julie and Neil. 

The street was more diverse than one might expect of a neighborhood in Massachusetts that was so close to the beach. Gloucester had always been a very working class, blue-collar city and nothing in the last few decades had done anything to change that. Sure, some of the beachfront property had been bought and turned into big ostentatious mansions. That happened a lot on the seacoast. But not on Beach Road in Gloucester. Gloucester had started as a fishing village and grown from there, but it had never forgotten where it came from. Some of the ritzier coastal towns along the north shore of Boston were as white as snow and not very eager to see that change. Whether or not the rich white folks were aware of their privilege or not could be debated til the cows came home. There was no easy answer to that one. More and more people who had grown up with so many privileges all over the country were trying to understand what that actually meant and how it was their responsibility to acknowledge it and try and level the playing field for everybody, no matter what color their skin was. The city of Boston had a long reputation of not being very welcoming to other cultures and races and it had done a lot to try and change that over the years. A lot of Massachusetts residents could remember way back to the 1960s when the Boston Celtics were winning many of their dynastic championships with black players who regularly suffered racist abuse in their own homes in Boston suburbs and neighborhoods. It was shameful and disgusting. Great strides had been made since then and Boston, and all of Massachusetts, had slowly been overcoming that reputation one step at a time. But even as progress made things better, there were always idiots who clung to outdated, bigoted opinions. There had still been assholes hurling racial slurs at visiting baseball players at Fenway Park in 2017 for Christ’s sake. 

As with everything, change took time. Gloucester had always been more of a melting pot than most other Massachusetts towns and cities and it suited the citizens just fine. They embraced their diversity proudly. It wasn’t always perfect, but Gloucester could be very progressive – even if there were still those who fought it tooth and nail. Their voices were getting drowned out by the common sense of residents who just wanted everybody to have a fair shot. The Beach Road neighborhood was a great example. 

Just listen to the last names of the families who lived up and down Beach Road: McPhail, Goldman, Rivera, Evans, Barry, Donaldson, Krieger, Van Auck. And Harbor Road, the street behind the big old house, was much the same: Vitrano, Woods, Kumar, Sheridan. Most of the families had raised kids that were the same age as the Donaldsons – Justin was 23, Emma was 19, and Mickey was 16 in 2030 - but there were a few that had kids in elementary school with the Kriegers. Old Mrs. Ornstein had been living there the longest although there had been Van Aucks living in the house on the other side of the empty lot next to the big old house for multiple generations. They were filthy stinking rich and had been for decades, but they were nice neighbors and never got too hoity toity for anybody’s liking. As with any neighborhood, there were the rifts and feuds that had developed over time – the ones that nobody could remember exactly how they had started. The Barrys, the house on the other side of the Donaldsons, didn’t get along with the Evans’, the house across the street from the Kriegers but to the right of old Mrs. Ornstein’s house. Mrs. Ornstein had sided with the Evans’ mostly because of proximity, and most of the houses at the top of the street had sided with June and Ed Barry for the same reason. The Riveras, the Donaldsons and the Kriegers had all remained neutral which befitted their location more in the middle of the street, which sloped downhill as you approached Good Harbor Beach at the end of Beach Rd. 

There were a few things that the neighbors could all agree on: the Goldmans had the nicest landscaping on the whole street, the Riveras had the busiest household with multiple generations sharing the large home – and that was saying a lot considering the Kriegers’ unruly brood, the McPhails played their music and their tvs much too loud, Stan and Cathy Van Auck were the most stand-offish even though they were very nice once you got to know them, and finally, over on Harbor Rd, Larry and Elaine Woods were the worst. Elaine wasn’t so bad but Larry was a jackass who everyone avoided as much as possible. Everybody agreed on that one. Many a summer night you could hear Mr. Vitrano arguing loudly with his next-door neighbor Mr. Woods about something. There was a reason Officer Fulkerson spent a lot of time at Mr. Woods’ house – the guy complained about everything and took offense at everything anybody in the neighborhood did. 

Old Mrs. Ornstein could be a pain in the neck. She was always yelling at cars to slow down and telling people to get off of her lawn as they walked down the street on the way to the beach. Behind the crusty exterior she was actually a lovely woman who was just trying to look out for her home and property and thought everybody ought to treat other people’s things with more respect. The Krieger moms shared those beliefs too. Old Mrs. Ornstein had a real soft spot for Ashlyn, which hadn’t always been the case. She had fallen victim to the keeper’s charm and kindness fairly quickly once Ashlyn had moved into the big old house. Ashlyn had shown the old woman nothing but friendship and kindness over the years and her death had been a difficult blow to deal with.

“Mrs. O would definitely not like them” Ashlyn shook her head as she finished helping Ali carry the groceries into the house early one afternoon in mid-May.

“How can you say that? You were barely in there for 15 minutes you said” the brunette challenged and then let out a string of curse words as she tripped over two pairs of her wife’s shoes inside the mudroom door. “For fuck’s sake Ashlyn! You’re gonna kill me one day with these goddamned shoes everywhere!”

“Shit, sorry. I’m sorry! I’ll put them away...”

“That’s what you always say. You’ve been saying that for 15 fucking years!”

“I know, I know, you’re right. I suck. I’m sorry” Ashlyn agreed, her face red with embarrassment and disappointment in herself. If Ali hadn’t tripped over the shoes she would have tripped over them herself. Her wife was totally entitled to the tongue-lashing she was dishing out and the keeper readily admitted it. “There, they’re out of the way” she added as she kicked them over to the side of the room by the closet.

“It doesn’t do me any good now” Ali fumed as she set the four big bags of groceries down on the kitchen counter by the refrigerator. “I could have broken my neck! And one of these times somebody’s going to. You wait until one of our parents falls and breaks their fucking hip!”

Ashlyn knew it was best to just let her get it all out of her system and then keep apologizing and telling her how right she was. She’d been doing it for 15 years and it was the fastest way to get through it. The keeper put the 6 grocery bags she was carrying down on another counter and trotted back into the mudroom to put the shoes all the way away, where they belonged, in the closet that was 2 feet away from where she had originally left them. She hurried back into the kitchen and started making quick work of putting the groceries away, giving Ali a wide berth in the process. Luckily, Logan was still an adorable distraction to just about any stressful situation that arose in the big old house that summer. The puppy was 9 months old in May and had recovered nicely from being spayed in April. She came careening into the kitchen and slid across the tiled floor as if she were on roller skates, crashing into Ali’s legs over by the sink and causing them both to end up in a heap on the floor. Ashlyn held her breath as she watched the ensuing calamity unfold. Ali flailed her arms to try and keep her balance and ended up falling on her ass anyway. She landed partially on Logan who was sprawled out on the floor with all four of her legs pointing in different directions. The dishwashing pods and sink sponges that had been in the brunette’s hands clattered down around them as they both howled in their own voices.

“Holy shit” Ashlyn breathed out and reached down to grab Persey by the collar to keep her from following Logan into the room and adding to the chaos.

“You big goofy dog” Ali rolled onto her side, facing the rest of the kitchen, and helped Logan back onto her feet. “Are you ok?” she asked as she gave the puppy some careful pats and inspected her as she stood there panting and wild-eyed. Her whole body trembled. “Oh no...”

But it was too late. The puppy was off like a shot – running at full speed around the big double-sided fireplace and through the family room before coming back into the kitchen in a tight loop. Every once in a while she just got spastic like that and started racing around. It never lasted more than a minute or two but it was quite the spectacle while it was happening. Ashlyn breathed a sigh of relief once it was clear that neither wife nor puppy had been injured in the crash. She let go of Persey thinking the old dog might want to join Logan in her romp around the fireplace, but she wasn’t interested. She stood there by Ashlyn’s side and watched, whining softly and judging harshly.

“You used to do the same thing you old curmudgeon” the keeper gave Persey a pat and then hugged her to her leg for a couple of seconds. 

Ashlyn caught Ali’s eye across the kitchen and both women cracked up laughing. Ali squealed when Logan made another close pass to her before running over to join Ashlyn and Persey by the refrigerator, out of the race track of the puppy.

“Oh my God” the brunette laughed as she tried to catch her breath, leaning against her wife for safety and support. “She’s crazy!”

“Are you ok?” Ashlyn asked as she held Ali in her arms. “She really took you out. And I think you saved her from a bad wipe out into the cabinet there. Silly puppy. Is anything broken?” she ran her hand over the brunette’s back and arms and then playfully tapped her butt.

“Just my elbow” Ali twisted her arm around so she could see her own red elbow where she knew she’d have a bump and a big bruise. “But I’ll live.”

Logan, after five laps, finally slowed and then stopped. She trotted over to them with her butt and cropped tail wagging and her tongue hanging practically down to the floor. She looked ridiculously happy, even as Persey proceeded to sniff her all over like a concerned old lady. 

“You feel better now?” Ashlyn laughed at the puppy and got on her knees to hug her and give her some love. “You’re harder on these floors than all the kids combined you big goofball. You’re gonna ruin them.”

“And you almost killed me” Ali joked as she knelt to love up the dogs too.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, both kneeling with the two dogs moving slowly between them and loving the pats and attention they were getting. Finally Ashlyn spoke again.

“I’m really sorry about my shoes. I forget that you’re here now more in the daytime” she confessed. “I always used to put them away before you got home” she defended herself. “I try to do it before I bring the kids home...”

Ali knew it was the truth. She hardly ever tripped on her wife’s shoes coming in at the end of the day. And it made sense that the new routine at the big old house that summer had mixed up her timing.

“I know you do” the brunette sighed, not willing to let her off the hook no matter how much sense her explanation made. She really was going to kill somebody with those damned shoes. Instead, she changed the subject as she shifted positions on the floor. It was the closest she could get to forgiveness so soon after her tirade. “So finish telling me about the new neighbors before I have to go get the kids.”

Ashlyn took the out her wife had given her and got back to putting the groceries away as they talked. Ali inspected her elbow as she sat on the floor with the two dogs, patting them each with one hand and watching her wife move from cabinet to pantry to refrigerator to cabinet.

“I shouldn’t have stopped. I guess I’m so used to looking over there when I drive down the street” Ashlyn shook her head, remembering the hundreds of times she had stopped to help old Mrs. Ornstein the same way. 

When she would drive down Beach Rd, a one-way street heading towards the beach at the bottom of it, Ashlyn would slow to make the right-hand turn into her driveway and turn her head to the left to see if Mrs. Ornstein’s car was in the driveway, which it usually was, or if the old woman herself was outside. If she was, then Ashlyn would wave and often roll her window down to say hi and chat for a quick minute – much to the dismay of any children in the back of the Jeep or minivan with her. Sometimes Mrs. Ornstein would be trying to carry something in from a shopping trip – groceries or shopping bags – and the keeper would hop out and help her bring them inside. It was just a habit, a routine that the blonde hadn’t been able to shake yet, even though it had been over a year since her elderly neighbor had passed away.

“You’re a good person honey. That’s why you stopped.”

“Well, I wish I hadn’t because now instead of wondering if I won’t like them I know I don’t like them.”

The Pitmans had moved in across the street in November, the week before Thanksgiving, which was kind of odd to begin with. Who moves the week before Thanksgiving? Andy and Brittany Pitman, that’s who. The Kriegers were so distracted by the escalation of the stalker that they really didn’t pay much attention to their new neighbors at all. Julie Donaldson had given Ashlyn a less than glowing report about her first meeting with the newcomers back in early December but neither Ali nor Ashlyn liked to take other people’s word for things like that. They both tried to formulate their own opinions of things based on their own experiences. But damn if Julie’s take hadn’t been right on the money.

“I don’t know, it’s hard to pinpoint...” the nurse had demurred back in the first week of December as she and Ashlyn chatted in her cozy kitchen. 

The keeper had stopped by to make sure the Donaldsons were ok with the cameras the Kriegers had installed to try and protect themselves in that frightening time. None of the Krieger clan was happy about the cameras but they had become a necessary evil for the young family. Ali wanted to tell Julie about them as a courtesy, not necessarily because she was worried about the cameras catching anything inappropriate from the Donaldsons. Ashlyn had made the trip for them and, unsurprisingly, Julie had been sweet and funny about it. They had segued quickly into chatting about the strange new neighbors who had moved in three weeks earlier and hardly been seen since.

“Well, what was it about them that made you feel that way?” the keeper had pressed for more info.

“That’s the thing, I don’t really know. It was just a feeling I got. She said all the right things...”

“Brittany?”

“Mmm Hmmm” Julie had nodded. “But she seemed so...fake. Her smile was too big and her voice was too high and it was all just icky.”

“Was the husband there?”

“Yes, we waited until he came home so we could introduce ourselves to both of them. He was even worse. He reminded me of the worst stereotype of a used-car salesman you could imagine. All smarmy and sleazy.”

“He looks like a pretty clean-cut guy though, from what I’ve seen” the keeper frowned. “We’ve waved at each other a couple of times. What’s his name again?”

“Andy. I don’t know. Maybe it was just me then” Julie had shaken her head. “Neil said he didn’t get a good vibe from them but he didn’t think they were as bad as I did.”

“What about the kids?”

“The boy, the oldest, was there. He was playing a video game on the tv and didn’t move a muscle when his mother told him to get up and come say hi. But boy did he jump when his dad snapped his fingers.”

“He literally snapped his fingers?”

“Yep” Julie had nodded again. “And then the kid just stood there with this empty look on his face. It was weird.”

“It wasn’t just the teenager bored with everything look?”

“No, I’m painfully familiar with that look” the nurse, and mother of three whose youngest was then 15, had chuckled and finished her coffee. “This was different.”

“Now I suppose you’re going to tell me the little girl’s head spun all the way around or something horrible too” Ashlyn had exhaled and rubbed her face.

“That’s probably the strangest thing of all. She was absolutely adorable. Cute and sweet and friendly. But it felt sincere. Her parents felt like they were putting on a show but she was just the sweetest.”

It had taken Ali and Ashlyn several trips across the street to finally meet Brittany, once they started to get back to living normal lives in March. And by early May, neither of them had even met Andy once. They had seen Oliver, the 13-year old son, and Bella, the 9-year old daughter, in the yard a few times but that was about it. Oliver was just finishing 8th grade at the middle school in town and Bella attended the same elementary school that the Krieger kids did. She was in 4th grade, a year ahead of Josie and a year behind Drew. All of the reports they got from the kids about Bella were good. She was a nice girl who seemed to be making friends at school. Nothing different or problematic about her at all. Ashlyn and Ali were hoping they could make friends with the Pitmans and have them as another backup for the kids when things went crazy from time to time with their work schedules. They would offer to help with Bella and Oliver too, of course. But there was something that stopped them from ever getting close to that point with the new family. Somehow they never felt comfortable asking or offering the Pitmans anything.

“So what happened?” Ali asked Ashlyn back in their kitchen that afternoon in May.

“Brittany and Oliver were trying to carry a new air conditioner into the house, only it was more like just Brittany. Oliver didn’t really do much but get in the way” the keeper explained her unsettling interaction from an hour earlier, while Ali had been grocery shopping. “It was one of those big ones that you put in the window, really heavy. So I hopped out of the Jeep and offered to help.”

“How’d that go over?” Ali asked cautiously.

“Brittany smiled and was nice and sweet and all. She apologized for needing a hand and tried to talk me out of it. She kept saying that Andy would take care of it when he got home. She seemed sort of anxious about it.”

“But you didn’t let that stop you, did you?” Ali grinned, knowing her kind and chivalrous wife so well.

“I just picked the thing up and started to carry it up the front steps. Brittany kept apologizing and talking about I don’t even know what” she shook her head. “And Oliver...that kid” she quirked her eyebrow. “I don’t know about him.”

“What happened with Oliver?”

“Well he just was an ass. He pushed past me, while I’m holding the heavy fucking air conditioner, and tried to walk into the house but the front door was locked so he yelled at his mom to unlock it. Like, not in a nice way.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, and the worst part is she did it! She hustled right up there, don’t mind me here with the 60-pound air conditioner or anything, and unlocked it for him like he was the fucking king or something.”

“Why wasn’t he in school? Was Bella there too?”

“Hey, good point. I have no idea. He sure didn’t look or act sick. Bella wasn’t there. Damn, why didn’t I think of that?” Ashlyn muttered the last part to herself, still shaking her head at the memory of the interaction.

“Did they let you in the house?”

“Yeah, but I wonder if they would have if I didn’t sort of insist on carrying the ac in? Man, I’ve got a lot of questions now...”

“It doesn’t sound so bad to me” Ali stuck her arms out and let her wife come and help her to her feet. She gave Ashlyn a quick kiss and smiled when her keeper wrapped her in a hug and stole another one. “Maybe you were just reading things wrong or something” she offered, not meaning to criticize. “We’ve both been in moods when other people have come to say hi or help or whatever and I’m sure we seemed like we weren’t all there either” she chuckled. “Do you think maybe it was something like that? Like bad timing?”

“Maybe I would have thought that if Andy hadn’t come home while I was still there and bitched them both out for leaving the front door open.”

“What?!”

“Oh yeah, he came in like a bull in a china shop, slamming the door shut behind him and yelling about how he wasn’t paying good money to cool down the whole neighborhood. He was a real ass. Until he saw me standing there.”

“Oh my God Ashlyn, talk about burying the lead” Ali swatted her wife’s arm as they ended the hug so she could pee before driving to the school. “You should have started with this part first!” she laughed as she sat on the toilet in the first-floor half-bath.

“What do you mean? I’m telling it in order, just listen would ya?” Ashlyn laughed back from her spot outside the open bathroom door. “He pulled up short like somebody yanked on his leash or something and his whole face changed, like instantly. All of a sudden he was smiling and apologizing for being so loud. Said he was having a bad day and had just lost a sale or something” she shook her head. “Then they all just stood there looking at me. I swear to God Al, I could feel them willing me to leave.”

“That’s awful” the brunette was wide-eyed as she dried her hands and moved into the mudroom to grab her purse and keys. “So it’s safe to say you didn’t stay and offer to help him install it then?” she giggled.

“Very funny. And no freaking way. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I didn’t like it at all.”

“Ok, so both you and Julie think they’re weird. Alright they’re officially on my radar.”

“That’s all I’m saying baby” Ashlyn closed the minivan door once Ali was sitting in the driver’s seat and putting the window down. “He’s a sales guy. You know those guys better than most. Just pay attention and let me know what you think when you finally meet him. That’s all. Maybe he’s just a sleazy salesman and can’t turn it off at home. I don’t know. But I don’t like him, or his weird kid. And I’m not sure about the wife yet either.”

“But we think the little girl’s ok, right?” Ali teased. “I mean, she’s not secretly teaching all the other 9-year olds witchcraft during recess or anything, right?”

“I don’t even know why I bothered to tell you” Ashlyn waved her bratty wife off and started to walk back to the house, shaking her head the whole way. “See if I ever tell you anything ever again!” she yelled over her shoulder but couldn’t keep the small smile from her lips. “Such a brat.”

They didn’t have too many other interactions with the Pitmans for a while. School ended and summer began and the Kriegers’ busy schedule filled most of their days with different summer camps and activities. They saw each other occasionally when they were out in the front yard or walking down to the beach but that was about it. Brittany was a stay at home mom and was in and out of the house several times a day, dropping off and picking up her kids from their own activities. She was medium height with a medium build and long bleached blonde hair. You could tell she used to be thin and pretty when she was younger, before she gave birth to two children. She always looked put-together but not quite perfect. She was still several fashion steps above the two moms across the street who wore comfy clothes most of the time, especially that year while Ali was working more from home. Brittany wore some nice jewelry but nothing officially flashy or over the top. She was an odd combination of white trash and jersey shore, but all of it faded just a bit with age. She was only 39 but she looked and acted older than both Ashlyn and Ali. She drove an older SUV that was dependable but not flashy either. 

Oliver didn’t seem to have much to do and could often be seen riding his bike up and down the street with one of the other neighborhood boys who was a year older. He was tall for his age, clearly hitting puberty a bit early with long gangly arms and legs and acne covering his face. His light-brown hair fell in a sloppy shag around his round face and his adam’s apple was very prominent. Bella always seemed to have a smile on her pretty little face and continued to be the brightest light in her family, at least from outward appearances. She was average in every way and she had long, straight light-brown hair like her brother’s. She was often the one that Brittany was driving around and seemed to have a busy social calendar, for a 9-year old anyway. 

Andy Pitman was a sales rep for technical medical equipment – he sold things like iPads and tablets to doctor’s offices and hospitals and the medical software that went with them. He was about 5’10” and average looking, like the rest of his family. He carried himself differently though, with confidence and command. He was always dressed very well and he wore a big fancy watch on his wrist. He drove an expensive BMW so the neighbors assumed he was doing very well for himself. He flashed his perfect white smile and waved at his neighbors but didn’t seem interested in getting any closer than that. 

It wasn’t until the Wednesday afternoon during the second week of July that Ali finally met Andy Pitman face to face, and it wasn’t under the best circumstances. Ashlyn was up at The Academy with Lizzy Harris and wouldn’t be home until just after dinner time, per her usual schedule. Kyle, Nathan and their kids were visiting for their annual 2-week summer vacation, spending much of their time in Ipswich with Iris Kimball. Josie was at her drama camp and Drew and Edgar were both at Drew’s sleepover soccer camp that week. Ali was in charge of the twins and Cristina and the dogs that day and it had been a pretty good one spent mostly at the beach. By 3:00pm the kids were tired from the sun and the sea and Ali needed to let the dogs out so they all walked back up Beach Rd to the big old house. It was a sweltering 95-degree afternoon, even close to the beach and the ocean breeze, and the kids were enjoying freeze pops as they shuffled slowly up the street, pushing the frozen flavored ice up to the mouth of the plastic sleeve and sucking hard. As they got close to home, Mickey Donaldson called out a friendly greeting. The youngest Donaldson child was 16 years old but still loved to see the dogs whenever she could. She was hoping for a quick puppy fix before heading out to work her shift at the movie theater, her first summer job ever. Bella Pitman was standing on the edge of her lawn watching the 16-year old as well as keeping an eye on the approaching Krieger group.

“Hey Mick” Ali smiled and waved as they all stood at the foot of the driveway and talked for a few minutes. She greeted Bella with her own wave and smile and the cute 9-year old waved back. 

It was decided after a brief discussion that they would all take the dogs for a walk. Mickey was thrilled because Peaches was there too and she hardly ever got to see Peaches.

“Alright, you guys wait here and finish your freeze pops. I’ll get the dogs. Stay out of the street and watch out for cars” Ali instructed before starting to walk up the driveway towards the house. “Why don’t you sit on the curb” she reconsidered, doubting the wisdom of leaving Dodge unattended so close to the street. “There we go. Now don’t move your butts from that curb until I come back. Got it?”

“Yes Mommy.”  
“Ah-huh.”  
“Ok Auntie Ali.”

All three little kids agreed at the same time, not really caring about anything other than the sugar at their lips and the brain freeze they were starting to get.

“Make sure they stay put ok Mick?”

“Yep” Mickey nodded. “Got it.”

Before Ali got halfway up the driveway Bella came over to join the group, sitting on the end next to Dodge. The four kids debated what the best flavor of freeze pop was while Mickey typed into her phone from a few feet up the Krieger driveway. After another minute, two figures appeared up the street, both astride bicycles and moving fast down the hill. They spotted the kids sitting neatly in a row on the curb and steered their bikes towards them, buzzing by them at a high speed and making both Cristina and Lily squeal at the close call. They had all been sitting with their legs outstretched and they pulled them back abruptly to get them out of the way.

“Ollie don’t do that!” Bella yelled at her big brother. “You scared us.”

“Don’t call me that, twerp” the 13-year old snapped at his kid sister as he and his buddy rode around in circles in between the two houses. “You didn’t really think we were going to run you over, did you?” he laughed derisively.

The little kids watched some of the tricks the older boys did on their bikes and sucked the last bit of ice from the plastic. Oliver and his friend pedaled hard to get back up to the top of the street and turned to come back down again.

“Don’t be such chickens this time!” he yelled.

Lily, the first in the row, looked at Cristina who was sitting next to her. They both giggled and turned their attention back up to the older boys on the bikes. 

“I wasn’t scared” Dodge yelled back.

“Oh yeah, prove it!” Oliver shouted as he and his buddy started speeding down the hill towards them.

“Don’t” Bella spoke softly and tugged Dodge’s arm back, a look of concern on her face.

It all happened so fast that nobody could have done anything to stop it if they had wanted to. Oliver came racing towards the row of kids with their legs stretched out straight in front of them and was surprised to see them not moving out of the way. He laughed, loving the adrenaline rush he was getting as the distance between his front tire and the first two girls was decreasing fast. His friend had veered off, fully expecting Oliver to do the same. But Oliver didn’t. By the time he realized that there was no way for him to stop in time it was too late. He hit the brakes hard and tried to turn at the very last second, but his front wheel ran over Lily’s left leg as everybody screamed and scrambled to get out of the way.

Ali heard the screams and bolted from the house at top speed. She was down the driveway in less than 30 seconds, all three dogs racing along with her. The second scream, the anguished blood-curdling scream that came from Lily’s lips, was the one that brought other people out to the street to see what the matter was. 

“What happened?!” the brunette gasped as she took in the scene.

“He...he...ran over her leg with his bike!” Mickey stammered, stunned by what had just happened. She pointed at Oliver Pitman who was lying on the street with his bike on top of him and a terrified look on his pimply face. “I can’t believe he did that.”

“Here” Ali shoved the three leashes at Mickey and bent down to hold her daughter who was still wailing and in obvious pain. The brunette’s head spun and her temper flared. Lily clutched at her as the tears streamed down her contorted face. “I’m here baby girl. You’re gonna be ok.”

“What happened?” Julie Donaldson’s steady voice called out as she knelt next to Ali and Lily.

“He ran over her leg with his bike” Mickey repeated her previous answer as she stood nearby with the three dogs whining and pacing around.

“I did not” Oliver snapped as he sat up and pushed his bike off of himself. “That’s a lie.”

“You did too” Dodge added his brave little voice to the discussion. “We all saw you. You’re the one who’s lying.”

“Should I call an ambulance?” Ali asked Julie, her voice tense. “Or can I just take her in myself?”

Julie took another two minutes to finish examining Lily’s obviously broken leg as the other witnesses continued to argue over exactly what happened. It was hard to hear anything over the mind-numbing sound of Lily’s wailing. The Rivera grandmother, Mrs. Ortiz, walked across the street to check on the injured little girl. She was in her 80s and moved slowly but she had full control of all of her other faculties. She spoke with a heavy Mexican accent.

“Is she alright?” she asked as Oliver pushed past her to get over to his own yard across the street. “Hey, watch it” she scowled at him. “I saw what you did.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about” he hissed back at her. “Nobody can understand you anyway, you crazy old hag.”

“You’re nothing but a punk” Mrs. Ortiz gave it right back to him without skipping a beat. “You don’t scare me. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“Mommy, my leg hurts!!” Lily cried, gasping for breath.

“I know honey, I know” Ali tried her best to soothe the girl as her ire grew and grew. “You’re being very brave. I’m sorry it hurts sweetheart” she kissed Lily’s forehead and held her close.

“I don’t like the break” Julie frowned. “It’s messy. I’m calling an ambulance” she stood up and moved a few feet away so 911 could hear her over the crying victim.

“What the hell’s going on out here?” Andy Pitman demanded when he finally came out of his house.

“Ollie ran over her leg with his bike” Bella explained quickly. She hopped to her feet and went to stand next to her father like a trained monkey. “It’s broken. He broke her leg” she continued in her tentative voice.

“I did not!” Oliver yelled at his sister and clenched his fist.

“Yes he did. I saw the whole thing” Mrs. Ortiz added with a decisive nod.

Mr. Pitman scanned the other faces there and took a few seconds before speaking again.

“It sounds like you didn’t hear my son” he squinted at the old woman. “Or maybe you can’t understand him. He says he didn’t do it.”

“But he did do it” Mickey chirped up again, now completely tangled in all three leashes. “I was standing right here and I saw it too.”

“They’re on their way. It’ll just be a few minutes” Julie spoke quietly to the brunette and knelt down again after finishing her call. “I asked for the police too.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about honey” Mr. Pitman sneered at Mickey. “Why don’t you let the grown-ups do the talking now like a good girl.”

“Hey! That’s enough!” Ali stood up, leaving Lily in Julie’s capable hands when she was unable to tolerate another minute of the attitude coming from both Pitman males. “My daughter is sitting here with a badly broken leg because your son rode over it on his goddamned bike!” she fumed, face red and eyes blazing as she focused on the new neighbor she had never met before. “Thanks for your concern, by the way. And I don’t want to hear you talk to anybody else that way. Mrs. Ortiz speaks English just fine and Mickey is not your honey. Got it?”

“Yeah! Go Mommy!” Dodge pumped his fist.

“Shut up you little brat” Mr. Pitman gave him a dirty look.

“Don’t you dare talk to my son like that!” Ali yelled and stepped over Lily and towards the ignorant man who was standing there with his hands on his hips like he owned the whole street. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“With me?” he laughed. “What kind of mother are you leaving your kids out here in the street by themselves like this. That’s the real question.”

“Two of the kids out here on the street are yours, in case you hadn’t noticed. Bella was sitting right here with Lily when your son pulled his stupid stunt so don’t talk to me about parenting skills you arrogant son of a bitch. Who the hell do you think you are anyway?”

“You better watch your mouth lady” Oliver’s cocky voice came from behind his father. “You’ll be sorry.”

“Excuse me?” Ali thought her head was going to pop right off of her body she was so angry. “What did you just say to me? Did you just threaten me, you little...”

The ear-splitting sound of a siren drowned everything out as the ambulance came to a stop right in front of Lily, causing everybody to move to their own side of the street. The Pitmans stood on their own lawn and everyone else gathered at the foot of the Krieger driveway while the paramedics put Lily on a stretcher and loaded her into the rig. A police car showed up two minutes after the ambulance and Officer Fulkerson jogged over to find out what was going on. When it was time to go, Ali hopped into the back of the ambulance and rode with Lily to the emergency room, leaving Julie Donaldson in charge of the kids and Mickey Donaldson in charge of the dogs.

“Hey” Ashlyn stood next to her wife and rubbed her back when she found the brunette hunched over in the waiting room of the hospital three hours later, her head in her hands and her elbows on her knees.

“Oh my God, Ashlyn” Ali whispered and turned to hug her keeper’s waist tightly, not letting go for a long couple of minutes.

“Where is she?”

“She wouldn’t stop crying, it was horrible. She just wouldn’t settle down. So they couldn’t treat her...” Ali whimpered and grabbed Ashlyn’s hand as the keeper took the seat next to her. “They finally had to sedate her so they could set it. She’s still in there but she’s out cold.”

Lily had suffered a transverse fracture of both the tibia and fibula in her lower left leg. She was lucky neither bone had broken the skin, something about the angle her leg had been leaning in at the time of the accident saved her from that gruesome experience. The x-ray had shown that they were both clean breaks which was also good because she wouldn’t need surgery to repair or align the bones. Kids were resilient and that went for their bones too, thank God. Lily would be in a hard plaster cast for 6-8 weeks, with the possibility of changing to a plastic walking cast after about a month. The advantage there was that you could remove the plastic walking cast to start some limited muscle work on the injured leg, and you could bathe it – which was a big win for everybody involved.

“That’s good then. They’ll be able to set it right. That’s good” Ashlyn put her arm around the brunette’s shoulders and pressed a kiss into the side of her head. “She’ll be ok honey.”

They sat there like that, not saying anything else, for about ten minutes. It was just after 6pm and Ali was starving but she couldn’t think about eating. She couldn’t think about much other than throttling her new neighbor and his hellspawn son. But she didn’t want to have that conversation at the hospital.

“Did you go home first? Is Kyle there? Did somebody remember to pick up Josie from camp?”

“Everything’s good, I promise. I came straight here but Kyle went right to the house after you texted him and Nate picked up Josie from camp and they’re home now too. Everybody’s ok” Ashlyn’s voice was smooth and steady and it was just what Ali needed to hear.

“How’s Cristina? I didn’t even get a chance to check on her. It was so...awful out there, and then the ambulance was there and then...well, here I am.”

“She’s ok too. She was a little shaken up from all the shouting and crying, but she’s fine now. Julie said Dodge was really sweet with her, never left her side once they went into the house” the keeper smiled softly at her stressed-out wife. “Between him and the dogs I’m sure she’s pretty happy right now.”

“It was awful Ash. I couldn’t get Lily to stop crying. I felt so fucking useless...she needed me and I couldn’t do a damned thing for her. I was just... helpless out there. Our poor baby girl.”

“Well I heard you were a badass” Ashlyn grinned and gave her wife’s shoulders another squeeze.

“Oh yeah right” Ali rolled her eyes and chuckled. “Mrs. Ortiz was the badass. I love that woman. And Mickey! Sweet Mickey stood up to that prick too. I was so proud of her, you would have been too” Ali smiled. “And Dodge, oh my God Ashlyn, that boy of ours was so brave, you should have seen him stand up to that bully.”

“Sounds like he takes after a certain Mama Bear I know and love.”


	6. 'Sonnets From the Portuguese'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning

Part of the reason Ali appreciated Meg’s summer planning so much was that she had to work her own magic with the calendar that summer too. It was busy. And it had to gel with Meg’s schedule and Kyle’s too. Kyle and Nathan were bringing Edgar and Cristina up for the first two weeks of July, as was their annual custom. Edgar was extra excited this year because one of those two weeks he was going to Drew’s soccer camp with him. Cristina wasn’t old enough to attend The Academy with Josie and Lizzy that summer, and she decided not to go with Lily to her soccer camp the first week of July either. Instead, she just hung out and enjoyed the dogs and the beach and her aunts and her dads and grandparents. Ken made a point to be around much of those two weeks, hoping to help fill part of the void Grandpa Bill had left. It definitely made a difference and Cristina latched on to Grandpa Ken halfway through their vacation. They went for special ice cream trips and he taught her how to do his patented back flips in the pool, just as he had done with all of his grandkids. 

There were 10 weeks to the Krieger summer and it went like this:  
Week 1 – Lizzy Harris and Josie at The Academy  
Week 2 – Lizzy and Josie at The Academy, Lily and Dodge at their own soccer camps; NYC Kriegers visit  
Week 3 – Lizzy at The Academy, Josie at drama camp, Drew and Edgar at soccer camp; NYC Kriegers visit; Lily’s broken leg  
Week 4 – All 4 young Krieger kids at The Academy with both moms, Meg volunteers that week too  
Week 5 – Family vacation in DC  
Week 6 – Family vacation in DC for first half; Ashlyn, Hannah and Meg drive up to Boston  
Week 7 – Meg and her college team attend The Academy to start preseason; Drew at baseball camp, Josie at music camp, Dodge at football camp, Lily at science camp  
Week 8 – All 4 young Krieger kids at The Academy with both moms; Meg’s first preseason game  
Week 9 – 4-family vacation at NH lake house  
Week 10 – sweet nothingness

The fact that Lily’s left leg was in a big plaster cast did not make anything easier either. Once the pain of the break subsided after the first week, she adjusted quickly to her new reality. She whined a good deal in the beginning but one or the other of her moms was always quick to remind her that she had been lucky enough to go to her soccer camp the week before the accident. If her soccer camp and science camp had been swapped, she wouldn’t have been able to attend the soccer camp at all that summer. That usually brightened her spirits a bit. But Lilian Isabella Krieger milked that broken leg for all it was worth that summer. She was supposed to keep it still and elevated as much as possible, especially for the first month, and she took full advantage. The rest of the family waited on her hand and foot. It was an interesting change because none of the kids had ever suffered a serious leg injury before – they had only dealt with broken arms and upper body ailments. The far-fetched notion that Lily might never walk again spurred all of her siblings, and their overactive imaginations, into kind and generous actions every single day. Drew was the first to call Lily on her bullshit, but he continued to dote on her anyway. Those two siblings had always shared a close bond and many of Drew’s kindest moments on the earth had come when dealing with his youngest sister.

Lily had crutches that she was supposed to be using but they hurt her armpits so she used them as little as possible. Instead, she cajoled her way into being carried from room to room whenever she could. Both of her moms knew what she was doing but did the carrying anyway because it was easier than going through the rigamarole of watching Lily try to use the crutches and fail and whine and then try to hop on one leg and then start to cry and then collapse to the floor like Meryl Streep acting out a death scene. They knew they were setting themselves up for failure when Lily would really need to use the crutches by herself, like their trip to Washington DC, but it was so incredibly painful to watch the histrionics unfold with her at the big old house that they made their deal with the devil anyway.

“No, I’m not carrying you downstairs” Ashlyn shook her head as she brought another drink to the invalid who was stretched out in the front living room on the couch like the queen of sheba. It had only been three days since the accident and the keeper was still being very patient.

“But why not? All of my toys are down there and Drew and Dodge are down there...pleeeeeaaase Mama?”

“Because the bathroom is up here” Ashlyn picked up some empty cheese wrappers from the couch and gave her daughter a small smile. “We’ve been over this a dozen times honey. You need to stay up here so you can get where you need to go easier. Ok sweetpea?”

The next time Ashlyn walked into the front living room to check on the girl, Drew was sitting next to her playing a video game on his iPad. The keeper’s heart melted because she knew he had given up his sweet video gaming set-up downstairs to come and sit with his sister instead. 

The following week the whole family spent at The Academy, including Meg who was volunteering at the camp for the week. Ashlyn and Ali coached and the kids ran around with the other coach’s kids and had a fun time. Having Meg there was an added bonus for the Krieger kids and she was often the one who spent extra time helping Lily navigate her way from one shady place to the next. Ali had offered to stay home with Lily instead of making the family trip to The Academy but Ashlyn wouldn’t allow it. Lily could be just as comfortable at the camp as at home if she got over herself and her diva ways. And that’s just what she did, with some help from Meg of course. The 4th week of The Academy was still the invitational week for the advanced players so neither Lizzy Harris, who had just gone home to Florida after the 3rd week, nor Josie could participate. Josie enjoyed her week of fun with her siblings and the Dwyer boys as she had so many times before. The whole family really loved going up to The Academy, regardless of when or with whom. There were always other kids to play with, most of whom they knew at least a little bit from interacting with them at previous camps, and they all loved the games and hikes and, most of all, the lake to play in. Ali had changed their summer plans from spending one full week up there each year to two full weeks. This year they would be going back for week 8, the final session of The Academy, and they were all looking forward to that too.

One of the coaches that summer was Kristie Mewis, who had gone back to her maiden name after a very messy divorce from her finance guy husband, Ted Scheffler. Kristie and Ted had been married for 9 years and had two little girls, Ellie and Charlie who were 4 and 1 years old respectively that summer. Kristie had been a teammate of Ashlyn & Whitney’s on the Boston Breakers and had even become one of the vaunted ‘Pillars of Excellence’ for the club after her retirement. Sydney and Kristie had bonded quickly when Ali began socializing with the Breakers team back in 2015 and their friendship had grown and deepened over the years. The Academy relied on a schedule of visiting coaches every summer but at the core of that whole system were the permanent coaches who shaped and maintained the heart of the Stacy Everett Lewis Academy. Niki Cross, Cat Whitehill, and Sydney Leroux had been the original permanent coaches but the tight-knit group had expanded to the goal number of 6 by the year 2029. Kristie Mewis, Yael Averbuch, and Crystal Dunn rounded out the 6 and that core group rotated throughout camp over the course of the 8 weeks so they all got some time off to spend with their own families. 

The Academy was in its 6th year and continued to be one of the most highly respected soccer clinics in the country. Ashlyn had begun to tailor parts of each camp to goalkeepers and had brought in some excellent keeper coaches as well. The Academy was fast becoming one of the best goalkeeper breeding grounds in the world. Ashlyn had shamelessly used Meg as her own guinea pig as she and Ken Krieger shaped much of the coaching structure for the young keepers. Meg had clearly benefitted from it and Ashlyn believed other young keepers would too. Her theory had been proven right over the past two years with Academy alumnae excelling in top-level college systems as well as in the professional ranks. The Academy continued to be a great place to be, filled with wonderful, tough, caring coaches and staff who wanted nothing more than to teach young girls how to succeed both on and off the pitch.

“I can’t believe Kristie’s story” Ali clucked quietly as she and Sydney poured wine into their glasses in the kitchen of one of the staff cabins during week 4 of the Academy.

The camp staffers had all of the campers in their beds and the coaches had just finished making sure their own kids were safely tucked in back at their own staff cabins. Now was the time to unwind and share stories from the busy day without little ears listening to every word that was exchanged. It was a favorite time of day for many reasons, but it was also usually short-lived. Inevitably, before even an hour had passed, one or more of the coaches would get called back to their own cabin to handle something one of their kids needed. Such was the life of being a mom.

“I know” Sydney nodded back with her eyebrows raised. “I knew a lot of what was going on but I never knew how serious she was about Rachel. Wow.”

“As long as she’s happy, I’m happy for her, you know that” Ali emphasized without needing to. “But holy shit, what a fucking mess.”

“I’m proud of her for doing the hard, messy thing. I’d like to think I would have been strong enough to do that too, but I don’t know.”

“So the divorce is official? It’s all done and everything’s finalized now? Visitation and all of that?” Ali looked around to make sure their hushed conversation was still private.

“Mmmm Hmmm” Sydney nodded. “She got the kids but just barely. Ted almost won! I still can’t fucking believe it” she fumed as quietly as possible, nostrils flaring. “Just goes to show you that there are lots of bigots out there still. Motherfuckers. I begged her to let me testify for her but she was trying to keep it as civil as possible, even after he accused her of all of that nonsense. He better hope we never cross paths again, that’s all I have to say. I’ll punch him right in that handsome face of his.”

Kristie and Ted Scheffler had been happily married. And then they weren’t. They had begun to have trouble in 2028 and talked about divorcing but then Kristie had gotten pregnant. They tried to work things out but only grew farther apart over the next year. Once little Charlotte was born, Charlie for short, Kristie decided she was done trying to make it work and filed for divorce. Ted fought her for custody of both girls mostly out of spite because he couldn’t handle the fact that his wife was leaving him for another woman. The whole thing was sad but then Ted took it to another level and made it very public and tried his best to disparage Kristie to help him win the custody battle. But as of November 2029 the divorce was final and Kristie and Ted had shared custody of both kids. They lived with Kristie and her girlfriend, Rachel Daly, on the South Shore of Boston where Kristie had grown up and where her parents still lived. Ted got his daughters on the weekends and one night a week unless they agreed on different arrangements. Now, 8 months later, things had settled down and tempers had cooled for the most part and Ted and Kristie were trying to find a way to communicate like rational adults regarding their girls. It wasn’t easy.

The scandalous affair between Kristie and Rachel Daly had rocked the women’s soccer world, even though both players had been retired for 5 years in Kristie’s case and 4 years in Rachel’s. They had both been very popular and talented players in the NWSL and on the international stage. Rachel found more success on England’s national team than Kristie did for the USA, but their gameplay and personalities and good looks were big draws in the NWSL too. Rachel had a reputation for falling for her teammates and had left a string of broken hearts behind in her path. Kristie and most of her Breakers teammates had first gotten to know the Brit when she was dating Christen Westphal – their Breakers teammate back when Ashlyn & Whitney were just starting to turn the team around. Rachel continued dating her string of women soccer players and Kristie got married to Ted. But there was always something there between them and finally, in 2028, they decided to see what exactly it was. That had been the beginning of the end of Kristie’s marriage. 

“That’s what’s so hard” Ali agreed with emotion in her voice. “I’ve always really liked Ted a lot. I mean, way more than Tom – he was always such a dick” she referenced their friend Erica’s ex-husband who had bailed because being a dad was too much work. “But I don’t know what to say to him after he pulled that shit with Kristie. How could you ever do that? Make up lies about the mother of your children? Tell the world she did things that she didn’t actually do just so you have a better chance at taking her kids away from her?”

“What are you guys whispering about in here?” Niki poked her head into the kitchen, surprising them both. “Hurry up with the wine you big lushes. We all need some you know. Some of us more than others” she nodded over her shoulder towards Kristie who had just walked into the cabin with 17-month old Charlie who was teething and having a hard time sleeping in the strange cabin.

Ali’s eyes lit up and she made a bee-line for the fussy baby as Sydney and Niki laughed behind her. Now that Tommy Flanagan was 3-years old, the brunette had to get her baby fix wherever she could and she wasn’t shy about it. The welcoming environment of the cabin full of women, coupled with Ali’s pure baby-craving energy, quickly pacified little Charlie and she was soon fast asleep in the brunette’s arms. The group enjoyed almost 2 hours of adult-time that Wednesday night before scattering and going back to their own cabins. Sydney wasn’t surprised, but she was happy to see how much strength Kristie seemed to be regenerating that week, surrounded by strong, determined soccer women who accepted her new living situation without blinking an eye or passing the tiniest bit of judgment. It was a good week at The Academy indeed.

//

“I’ve been waiting...to do that...since Wednesday night” Ashlyn panted as she crawled up her wife’s still-twitching body, wiping Ali’s plentiful juices off of her chin with a hand along the way. “Fuck, I love making you come” she grinned and felt a throb in her own core when a strong aftershock shot through the brunette, making her small breasts jiggle and her abs contract. “Mmmmmm...sexy as fucking hell.”

Ali let out a satisfied combination of sigh and moan and opened her eyes, pleased to see her favorite hazel ones sparkling back at her. She ran a hand through Ashlyn’s hair, loving the slightly longer length that allowed her to grab a handful on each side if she wanted. It was Saturday and they had enjoyed a simple date night of dinner and a stroll around nearby Rockport Harbor before coming home and getting in to bed. Meg was babysitting that night but Ali had made sure to tire the kids out with a long day at the beach to insure an easy time for the 18-year old. The whole family, all 7 of them, were flying to Washington, DC in the morning to bring Meg home and start their 10-day family vacation. They said ‘bring Meg home’ but she hadn’t needed help flying back and forth in years – it was just something the youngest kids had started saying. It was easy to make the excuse that they wanted to turn in early that night to get ready for the big and busy travel day, but neither woman had any intentions of going to sleep any time soon that night. As so often happened after a week together at The Academy, they came home hot and bothered and aching for each other. Seeing Ali doing one of the first things she had ever loved never ceased to turn Ashlyn on. And watching the keeper interact with so much kindness, particularly with the youngest and most fragile of the campers, always got Ali’s motor running. They had been too exhausted Thursday night when they brought everybody home after the cookout ending that week’s camp. And last night Lily had been up most of the night, bothered by some new pain in her healing leg. They knew she wasn’t faking it either. She was a tough one to get to sleep, but once she finally did give in to slumber she very rarely woke from it unless something was wrong. Friday night had turned out to be a very frustrating exercise in stopping and starting and finally giving up for the two horny moms.

But tonight...tonight they refused to be interrupted again. Part of their success had been in the planning of things, like making sure the kids were good and tuckered out so there wouldn’t be a calamity at home while they were trying to enjoy their date night. Part of their success had been in making sure they were ready themselves. These types of scheduled sexual intimacy dates were exactly the things that had been problematic for them after the whole Emily Quindlen nightmare. Their spontaneous sex had definitely helped them both, a lot. They had simply not given their minds any time to get worried or hung-up on anything in advance. They got together without any weighty expectations or troublesome concerns and made each other feel good. Dr. Mattie Olsen had been right about it being difficult to find time to be spontaneous like that, but they had both made the effort. Their sex life wasn’t quite back to normal yet but they could both feel the improvement and just knowing that they were making progress made everything a little better still.

“What was so special about Wednesday night?” Ali asked after she had regained the ability to speak, with Ashlyn curled up around the side of her body and holding her close. “I mean aside from my stunning good looks and banging body” she teased and tweaked her keeper’s nipple.

“Hey” Ashlyn chuckled and closed her eyes, loving the feeling of her wife’s hands slowly touching every part of her skin that they could reach. Those tender moments in between the rounds of sex were some of her favorite times with her beautiful brunette. “Well, of course you always kill me woman! I keep telling you, you’re lucky I don’t rip your clothes off and fuck you senseless five times every damned day” she laughed again, low in her throat, and then sighed contentedly. “I love you baby.”

“Five times a day huh” Ali’s nose-crinkling grin appeared as she raked her dull nails across the top of the blonde’s bare ass and lower back. “I’d like to see that.”

“Just keep it up” Ashlyn moved her mouth a bit so she could place gentle kisses around her wife’s breast. “You’ll see. One day you’re gonna get the shock of your life.”

“Oh ok, well, I look forward to it, Sugar...” she drawled and laughed and then sucked in a breath when she felt Ashlyn’s teeth tugging on her still-sensitive nipple. “Fuck, babe...”

Now that the fast and furious orgasms had been taken care of they could move on to other things, slower things, and they fully intended to enjoy them. Ali rolled them over and stretched her body out on top of her sexy keeper’s, loving the way Ashlyn’s long arms wrapped her up and moved across her warm skin. The brunette’s love of kissing and making out had never waned through the years. If anything, it had gotten stronger. Nothing would ever take the place of an orgasm, but Ali loved making out with her wife. She couldn’t believe how exciting she still found Ashlyn’s mouth and lips and teeth and tongue. She loved the desperate, passionate kisses they shared when they were beside themselves with want. Those were always electric and left them panting and looking for more. But she also loved the slow, languid kisses when time seemed to stand still and the only thing that existed was Ashlyn’s glorious mouth. Everything was soft and slow and luxurious, even the time itself that they spent like that. It was easily one of the most intimate things the couple ever did. It was impossible to get any closer to the woman she loved than having their bodies pressed together like that with their mouths moving languorously against each other, sharing the same breath, with soft moans and sighs accompanying them. That was how they spent the next 15 minutes that Saturday night - wrapped around each other as their mouths tasted and licked and tugged and sucked each other into a slow-burning, rapturous, blaze.

“I feel sorry for...every person on this planet...who never got to kiss you” Ashlyn gasped for breath between every few words when they finally pulled their lips apart for more than a few seconds.

“I never kissed anybody the way I kiss you” Ali blinked up at her wife, suddenly shy at the thought. Her breath was ragged and her eyes were dark, her whole body felt like a live wire. “You...your mouth...I just...I can’t explain it” she shook her head slowly and closed her eyes as Ashlyn caressed her cheek. “I get lost in you...I always have.”

The keeper felt her heart flutter at her wife’s fervent words. She gazed up at Ali’s face, eyes still closed as she nuzzled against Ashlyn’s hand on her cheek, and then brought their lips together again. The kiss this time was tender and delicate, despite the mounting passion between them. Ashlyn kept caressing her wife’s face and then felt Ali’s lips move to the palm of her hand as she turned her head to the side.

“Thank you Al, for loving me” the keeper’s voice was quiet but full of emotion. “I’ll never understand how I got so lucky, but I promise you...I know just how special you are.”

Instead of more words, Ali used her mouth to press warm, sultry kisses down her wife’s long neck and across her collar bone, giving extra attention to the laurel leaves tattoo there. She took her time and let her mouth travel to Ashlyn’s left shoulder, then to her right shoulder, licking along the words tattooed there – ‘wisdom listens’ and ‘knowledge speaks’ respectively. She touched the three barely existent scars from the shoulder surgery she had nursed her keeper through 15 years earlier. Ali knew they were there because she had caressed them for so long, even though nobody else could even see them anymore. She let her fingertips find the tiny scars as she moved her mouth down to the keeper’s right breast. While Ali kissed around the beautiful pink nipple, she brought her hands up to each side of her wife’s head. She scratched through the longer hair there as she nibbled softly on the silky skin under Ashlyn’s breast. With her right hand she gently massaged the scar above Ashlyn’s left ear where she had taken Chioma Ubogagu’s cleat to the side of her head in Houston. Ali’s other hand did the same with the matching scar on the other side of Ashlyn’s head – the mark left behind after her violent meeting with the traffic sign near the K-H office in Cambridge. After one last lingering caress to the outer edge of her keeper’s left ear, ripped and scarred by Nadia Nadim’s ruthless high kick back in the 2019 Championship game, the brunette moved her lips to Ashlyn’s left breast as her hands travelled down long, tattooed arms. She traced the dark ink in all of the beautiful designs that covered almost the entirety of both limbs, adding her tongue and lips to the ritual after another minute at her wife’s breast. Ali gave the tenderest of all kisses to the newest scar on her wife’s gorgeous body – the bullet wound that had marred her looking-glass tattoo on her upper left arm. 

“My love...” she whispered reverently before continuing her ministrations.

The brunette went from Ashlyn’s left arm to her left side and visited all of the colorful flowers there, trying not to get distracted by Chris’ name at the edge of her wife’s left breast. She loved how much her wife loved her brother, but she didn’t want to think about him now. She moved across the blonde’s stomach, licking the woman symbol and then dipping down a bit to trail kisses over the spiderweb stretchmarks she adored. Ali’s mouth moved up to her wife’s right side and found the healed flesh from another soccer collision where her skin had lost the battle with Sofia Huerta’s boot in the 2017 playoff victory in Chicago. She kissed her way up the half-sleeve tattoo on Ashlyn’s right forearm and the newer tattoo covering her right upper arm. She re-positioned herself so she was able to reach both of the long legs she loved so much, making sure to suck gently on the pinky finger of her wife’s right hand on her way down. It had been broken during training after the 2014 NWSL season, her last with the Washington Spirit, and surgically repaired. 

“Mmmmm...God you feel good” the keeper murmured as she reached to touch the brunette again, now that her arms were free. She had to wait an extra few seconds for her right hand though.

Ali touched and kissed and loved her way down one leg and back up the other, making sure to lick the faded ACL scars on each of her wife’s knees as well as visiting the tattoos on her right leg. She spent a moment tracing the faint scar on Ashlyn’s right leg where it had been broken in the freak car accident, then kissed the almost invisible mark left from the knee scope the keeper had four years afterwards. The brunette took her time on the newest tattoos on her keeper’s body, her left leg – the huge, dark ink, underwater scene on the front of her thigh, and the homage to goalkeepers on the outside of her left calf. Ali tended to all of Ashlyn’s scars, even the ones earned before their time together began – like the small scar on the keeper’s chin that was still one of the brunette’s favorite places to watch when Ashlyn was talking. She continued moving her nimble fingers around the rest of the blonde’s sensitive body, riled up even more now after all of the tender, sensual touches. As Ali stretched out sideways, perpendicular, next to her wife’s left hip, her right hand played with Ashlyn’s hardening nipples. With her left hand, Ali pulled Ashlyn’s long left leg up, bent at the knee, and into her own body to open the keeper up. She reached her left arm around the back of her keeper’s bent leg, loving how so much of Ashlyn’s delicate flesh was at her fingertips.

“I love you...” she moaned softly into her wife’s belly, finding the stretchmarks again and then moving her head to the left, down to the c-section scar she had watched the twins emerge from seven years ago. “Every inch of you, every part of you, all of the stories your body shares with me...” 

Ali spent several seconds placing feathery kisses along the c-section scar as her hands kept moving – one above Ashlyn’s waist and the other below it.

“Oh shit...” Ashlyn sucked in a breath when she felt her wife’s fingers graze her slick folds. Her body tensed for a second and then shivered lightly as Ali’s fingers spread the keeper’s wet lips out, exposing her entrance. “Fuck, Al...yessss...”

Ashlyn’s whole body was pulsing, ready for whatever the next touch might be in the symphony of pleasure her wife was conducting across her skin. Ali teased her entrance with her fingertips while she kissed her way down, across Ashlyn’s mound. She turned her head to the side and rested her right cheek there as she watched the toes of Ashlyn’s right foot flex and curl in anticipation. The scratchy short hairs felt like lightning under her cheek as she took in the delicious aroma of her sexy keeper.

“You smell incredible baby” Ali’s voice dripped with lust and she felt her own core throb.

Ashlyn moved her hands down to touch and guide her wife – her left hand running down the length of Ali’s back, stretched out perpendicular to her own body, and her right hand massaging the brunette head across her crotch. Ali smiled when she felt her wife’s hands on her body, always happy for the contact but especially so during their sexy times. She moved her head between Ashlyn’s legs and started to kiss and lick and suck her way around her clit and through her soaked folds. She sucked extra hard on the small birthmark at the top of Ashlyn’s inner thigh, grinning at the memory of their younger selves identifying parts of each other’s bodies that they would use to identify one another if they were ever replaced by an alien clone. Ali had chosen the spot she herself had missed the first time she had explored her keeper’s gorgeous body. It was a silly conversation they had enjoyed during one of their long, luxurious love-making sessions before they had children and so many other responsibilities. 

“Ow” Ashlyn whined and then chuckled, low in her throat at the contact to her sensitive skin. “It’s really me hon, I promise.”

They both giggled but it didn’t last long because Ali pushed two fingers of her left hand up into Ashlyn’s aching pussy and they both moaned at the sensation.

“Fuck...you’re so wet and hot” Ali groaned as her own passion soared at the feeling of her wife’s silken walls grabbing at her fingers inside. “So fucking ready” she flicked Ashlyn’s clit with her strong tongue a few times. “Show me how ready you are baby...show me.”

Ali began slowly pumping her fingers in and out of her wife’s hot center while sucking on her clit. Ashlyn’s whole body came alive and began rolling beneath the brunette. She brought one hand up to pinch and tug on her own breasts while the other hand held Ali’s head firmly in place where it was. The keeper’s legs moved on their own, bending at the knees and flexing as she started her climb towards release. Ali shifted from her stomach onto her right side and let her cheek rest on Ashlyn’s mound again, thrusting harder and faster with her left hand between the blonde’s legs. The keeper held onto her wife’s head, pressing it into her own body as she lifted her hips in response to the stimulation from Ali’s fingers. She bent her knees and pressed her heels into the bed, lifting her lower body all the way up a few inches before dropping it back down onto the sheet again, all the while holding Ali in place. 

The brunette held onto Ashlyn’s left thigh with her right hand, wrapping her arm around it from behind just as she had done with her left arm. Her left hand kept at her primary purpose inside her wife’s pulsing pussy, also reaching behind the flailing left leg. Ali licked the skin she could reach and held on for dear life as Ashlyn bucked and rolled underneath her. It was the best fucking ride in the world and the brunette wouldn’t trade it for anything.

“Jesus” Ashlyn moaned, pressing her head back into the pillow as her breathing picked up and her eyes closed. “Oh yeah...unnhhhh...fuck...unnnhhh...”

Ali smiled, loving the way her keeper was holding her head so tightly to her mound. She scratched at the back of Ashlyn’s left thigh with her free hand while pumping as hard and fast as she could into her throbbing core with the other. She was about to try and reach her wife’s swollen clit and bring her home, but Ashlyn beat her to it. The keeper moved her own right hand to the sensitive nub and started rubbing it hard and fast. Her forearm was up against Ali’s forehead and nose and the brunette loved the way her wife’s arm muscles rippled under the effort. Ali kept her eyes open, watching everything – both the creamy skin and the black inked skin undulating all around her, the long legs bending and jerking as Ashlyn climbed the last bit of the mountain, the dark path with the owl looming above it urgently pressing into her forehead. It was a feast for her eyes only to be outdone by the sensations she was feeling and hearing at the same time – the sexy sloshing from Ashlyn’s sloppy, wet pussy, the scratch of the short hairs under her cheek, the slickness of her keeper’s walls as they tightened around her fingers. It was incredible and very fucking hot as they moved together on their big bed.

“Yes sexy, yes...” Ali panted out. “I’ve got you...fuck, you’re fucking gorgeous...” 

In another minute Ashlyn came with a louder than usual shout and curled her body up as it shook and twitched. She never let go of Ali’s head and the brunette was folded up inside her wife’s body for several seconds until the keeper finally released her head and straightened her legs out again.

“Holy...fucking...shit...” she gasped as her body twitched through some residual spasms. “That was...wow” was all she could come up with in her current state of orgasm-induced eloquence. 

Ali chuckled and kissed her way up the middle of her wife’s body until she got to her chin and then lips. Ashlyn lay there like a grinning idiot, completely blissed out, and finally opened her eyes to see her beautiful brunette’s face hovering above her own.

“Hi” she said, blinking softly down at the love of her life.

“Hi yourself” Ashlyn blinked back, beaming up into her favorite cinnamon eyes. “Damn, that was amazing” she exhaled loudly, making Ali giggle at her dramatic response.

They lay there together for a few minutes, quietly enjoying the afterglow before Ashlyn gave Ali another big orgasm of her own. She dropped herself onto her own side of the bed, exhausted from the effort, as close as possible to the still-quivering brunette. They were shoulder to shoulder and hip to hip with arms entwined across heaving chests and stomachs. Ashlyn leaned over and kissed her wife’s pink cheek, enjoying the way the beautiful brunette’s face sprung up into an enormous smile at the touch. Several more minutes went by as they recovered and caught their breath before the keeper finally spoke the words she had been afraid to say for a while.

“Ummm...can I ask you something?”

“Sure, anything” Ali sighed contentedly and turned her head to the right to face her beautiful wife. “You’ve earned it after that” she chuckled and rolled onto her side to curl into the keeper. “What is it?”

“Are you sure?” Ashlyn cocked her head so she could see Ali’s face better. “This might be a real mood-killer.”

“Oh God, well, you have to tell me now” Ali opened her eyes and Ashlyn could see the sudden addition of anxiety in them.

“No, it’s not that bad, I don’t think it is anyway” the keeper sighed. “I mean, I had an idea that I think might help us...but I’m not sure about it and I need to talk to you to see if you...”

“Honey” Ali put a finger over her wife’s lips to stop them from moving a million miles an hour, “just tell me” she nodded. “It’ll be ok, whatever it is.”

Ashlyn let out a relieved sigh and felt her shoulders go back down to normal after rising high during her angst-ridden prologue.

“Ok, right” she collected herself and took a deep breath. She rolled onto her side to face the brunette and they wrapped each other up with their arms and legs. “So, you know how Mattie said we’re taking back our sex after...Emily...” she bravely pushed through the reluctance to say the name, “stole it from us, or spoiled part of it for us?”

“Yeah” Ali replied, but her whole body had stiffened at the mention of her ex-fiancee’s name. They had been trying so hard to keep Emily out of their sex life and here Ashlyn was literally bringing her right back into it again. Ali didn’t like it one fucking bit. “Although talking about her right now sure seems like a step backwards to me.”

“No, just wait...” Ashlyn’s mind raced as she realized where Ali’s brain had just gone. “See, this is what I meant...” she paused and closed her eyes for a second. “Fuck! Why can’t I say this right?!” she spoke much louder than she needed to.

“Ashlyn” Ali put a gentle hand on her wife’s red face, “just calm down and tell me.”

As usual, that was all it took for the blonde to get control of her rambling, panicky words. The fact that Ali’s touch and soothing, steady voice could still have that effect on her moved Ashlyn immensely.

“Ok” she blew another breath out and then leaned over to press a soft kiss to Ali’s lips. “Let me start again. Sorry” she pulled back and took another steadying breath. “So, I have an idea of how we can make up some ground on what Emily took from us.”

“What do you mean, make up some ground?”

“Well, we’ve been doing good with getting this” she pointed between their two naked bodies “back on track. At least I think we have” she was all of a sudden afraid that Ali might not feel the same way. “Do you?”

“Yes, babe, you know I do” Ali’s patience was wearing thin and she was tired, in general, of thinking about Emily fucking Quindlen.

“Ok, just checking” Ashlyn saw the frustration in her wife’s whiskey-colored eyes and hurried to try and spit out what she was trying to say. “She took something from us and I want to take something from her. I want to claim something that was yours...yours and hers...and make it ours instead. Like we did with ‘Annabel Lee’” she nodded encouragingly at her wife.

“Oh-kaay” Ali stretched the word out quietly as she tried to tell herself to keep an open mind and let her keeper finish what she was trying to say before telling her what a dumb idea it was.

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I really want to read ‘Sonnets from the Portuguese’ with you...to you...however you want to do it” she finally got out, smiling like a hopeful dog who had just dropped a ball at their human’s feet.

Ali was quiet for a full minute as she considered her wife’s words. She was surprised and touched by the fact that Ashlyn even knew about how important that book of poetry had been for she and Emily back when they had first begun dating. The comparative literature class in which she had met Emily back in college spent a lot of time analyzing the poetry of Elizabeth Barrett Browning and her husband Robert Browning. She was an English poet, successful in her own right before she even met Browning, the famous English poet and playwright six years her junior. They married after a year of courtship when she was 39 years old and he 33. The Brownings moved to Italy where they spent the rest of their time together until Elizabeth died 16 years later. Elizabeth had always been a sickly girl, and her frail health followed her into adulthood. She was small and dark and one of her husband’s pet names for her was ‘my little Portuguese’. He convinced her to publish the 44 love sonnets she had written for him during their courtship and they became wildly popular as ‘Sonnets from the Portuguese’. The most famous among them, Sonnet 43, was still commonly popular in 2030. 

Ali’s mind spun as she tried to connect the dots to figure out how Ashlyn knew about she and Emily reading those poems to each other in the first place. It was all she could think about so she didn’t have anything ready to say when Ashlyn’s patience eventually ran out.

“We don’t have to do it Al. If it’s a terrible idea then just forget I ever said it” she spoke quickly, trying to defuse what was looking like a tense situation.

“No, it’s not that, I just...” she tilted her head a bit and studied her keeper’s worried face. “How do you even know about that?”

“Oh, ummm, well she wrote about it in her journal” Ashlyn looked down, feeling like she had overstepped and made a terrible miscalculation about where they were – where Ali was in particular – in their recovery from the Emily intrusion and attack. “I’m sorry if you didn’t want me to know about that...I didn’t mean to make everything worse...” anxiety and regret covered the blonde’s face as she tried to backtrack out of the mess she had made. “Just forget I brought it up...”

“No, it’s ok, really” Ali smiled warmly at her wife and tenderly stroked her cheek. “I’m just surprised I guess. You didn’t do anything wrong though, it’s ok honey. I promise.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, it’s ok” Ali blinked again, wordlessly telling her wife how much she loved her. “I always forget about that awful journal” she sighed. “Which I guess is a good thing, really.”

“It totally is. I’m sorry I brought it up, but that’s how I know about ‘Sonnets from the Portuguese’ and ‘Annabel Lee’ and...so many other things” she swallowed, still feeling uncomfortable and like she had exposed her wife all over again. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be” Ali gave her a smaller smile that was the best she could do in that moment. “I’m glad you read it. It saved me from having to try and tell you all of it. Really” she nodded and managed a warmer smile. “I’m being totally honest.”

“So I know you guys used to read those sonnets to each other...”

“In bed” Ali finished with a sad smile. “I swear, we read poetry to each other in bed more than we did anything else, except for sleep” Ali chuckled but it still sounded sad. “That should have been my first clue right there.”

“Hey, let’s not go down that road again. I don’t want you beating yourself up another second over anything having to do with her. It wasn’t your fault. None of it was. I know you know that” she looked directly into Ali’s eyes to make sure she understood how serious she was. “And I told you I’d remind you of that anytime you needed it. So here I am. None of it was your fault.”

“I know, thanks” Ali gave her a quick kiss. “Ok, so, let’s talk about this then...” she took a deep breath as they spent the next half hour discussing the pros and cons of reclaiming one of Ali’s favorite books of poetry once and for all.

“I’m sorry I never read any of them to you” Ali’s voice was quiet and sad. “I just locked that whole book away because it was like the soundtrack to how we fell in love. And I’ve never been able to really enjoy any of those poems again. They make me sad now.”

“I figured it was something like that because, not to sound like a jerk or anything,” Ashlyn paused until Ali gave her a loving look in return, “you never once read any of them to me. And I understand now why you didn’t like it when I read that one to you...”

“Oh Ash, I loved when you read Sonnet 43 to me” the brunette replied quickly and sincerely. “It was the first time in a long time that one of those beautiful love poems felt...like love again to me” she cupped Ashlyn’s cheek and caressed her soft skin. “There was no way for me to explain to you how complicated it was for me back then though.”

“I know” Ashlyn gave her a soft smile and pressed a kiss into the palm that was still on her cheek. “We were so new and I had no idea about that part of your story with her...I just found one of the most romantic poems I’d ever read and decided to share it with you without knowing what a time bomb it was.”

“Well how could you have known?”

“I know, but I just feel bad. It must have really hurt you or upset you...”

“I loved that you thought of me when you read that poem Ashlyn. That’s what I remember most about that night” Ali kissed her wife again and smiled.

“I’m gonna let it slide that you remember a poem more than the smoking hot sex we had that night...”

“Oh come on” Ali laughed out loud. “You know what I mean. Of course the sex was the best thing about that night...” she tickled her keeper and made her squeal. “But then I remember you taking the time to find a poem that you liked enough to read to me at all in the first place. Seriously. I loved it.”

“So what do you think about getting it back, and the rest of them too?” Ashlyn’s face was tentative but hopeful. She had prepared for the worst but was hoping for the best. “No pressure though, either way.”

“I’m afraid, but I honestly don’t know why” Ali shrugged apologetically. “But I want to try it. If we hadn’t already done this with ‘Annabel Lee’ I’d think this was a terrible idea...but you’re right. I’d love to get those poems back too” she held her wife’s gaze for a few seconds. “They’ll mean so much more with you.”

So that’s how Ali and Ashlyn slowly began to reclaim one of the brunette’s favorite books of poetry. It wasn’t always easy but they could both tell the effort would be worth it. When one of the poems went particularly well for them it felt like a revelation. They knew they were doing the right thing, even if it was challenging sometimes. They were patient and kind with each other and they talked about it with Dr. Mattie Olsen in their next couples session too. The therapist agreed wholeheartedly with the endeavor and praised Ashlyn to the rooftops for thinking of it as well as for being brave enough to broach the subject with her wife on her own.

They started with the easy one that first night, Sonnet 43. Ashlyn’s clear, high voice read the words full of emotion, taking her time and making sure Ali knew every single word came from her heart.

“’How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.  
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height  
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight  
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.  
I love thee to the level of everyday’s  
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.  
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;  
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.  
I love thee with the passion put to use  
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.  
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose  
With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,  
Smiles, tears, of all my life! – and, if God choose,  
I shall but love thee better after death.’”

The couple held each other and kissed after Ashlyn read the last word of the sonnet. Ali’s heart had filled to hear the words, so special to her for all those years, finally delivered by her one true love. Although the first time Ashlyn had read her that sonnet she hadn’t been able to fully embrace it, she could this night. She was thrilled by the feeling and, when their embrace was done, she reached for the book on her wife’s lap and thumbed through the pages to find sonnet 8. It had never been one of her favorites, although she loved them all and was a vocal advocate of reading all 44 poems in order because they had been written that way originally. Sonnets 33 and 14 were far more popular than the one the brunette turned to, but sonnet 8 had taken a special place in her heart since their first meeting. 

Elizabeth Barrett Browning had been infirm her whole life and had fully accepted the fact that she would die an old maid, and probably die sooner rather than later. She was well past the age of marrying when she met her true love and she had a difficult time accepting the fact that this vital, passionate, younger man could have fallen in love with her too. During their year-long courtship, Elizabeth constantly doubted her worthiness of Robert Browning’s love and attention. It was a prominent theme throughout all 44 of the sonnets. Ali identified with that insecurity and self-doubt, particularly after her split from Emily back in 2011. She had been broken and living half a life for four long years before she met her beloved keeper. The brunette’s voice had a slight waver in it as she read the words she never thought would ever pass her lips again. It felt foreign to be reading the words of sonnet 8, or any of them, again, but also strangely familiar at the same time.

“’What can I give thee back, O liberal  
And princely giver, who hast brought the gold  
And purple of thine heart, unstained, untold,  
And laid them on the outside of the wall  
For such as I to take or leave withal,  
In unexpected largesse? am I cold,  
Ungrateful, that for these most manifold  
High gifts, I render nothing back at all?  
Not so; not cold – but very poor instead.  
Ask God who knows. For frequent tears have run  
The colors from my life, and left so dead  
And pale a stuff, it were not fitly done  
To give the same as pillow to thy head.  
Go farther! let it serve to trample on.’”

Ashlyn watched her beautiful wife’s face as she spoke the words and then closed her eyes once finished. She reached up and wiped the single tear that had fallen down Ali’s cheek and smiled when the brunette opened her eyes again. They shared a watery gaze and the keeper waited for her wife to explain the poem to her. When Ali remained quiet, Ashlyn spoke instead.

“I’m not very good at this kind of poetry, but I’m pretty sure you called me a liberal prince...and that’s pretty cool” she chuckled.

“I did” Ali nodded and smiled broadly, giggling as Ashlyn pulled their bodies together and kissed her neck. “It’s a lot of fancy words to say that I don’t deserve you...that I can never give you back the pure love that you’ve given me...that my life was colorless and pale before you came into it...”

“Hey, you were just coming out of a rough patch, that’s all” Ashlyn pulled back so she could see her wife’s face, studying it for a long minute. “You know that right?” her voice was steady and more serious. “You know that I was just as lucky to find you, that I was just as lost as you...you know that, right?”

“Oh, my sweet, princely giver...I know that now. But back then, at the time, I had never felt more unworthy of anything in my life. For the first time, I totally got what Elizabeth was talking about all throughout these beautiful sonnets. I had read them dozens of different times when I was with Emily but, just like with ‘Annabel Lee’ I had no idea what the hell I was talking about” she shook her head and rolled her eyes. “You changed everything. You’ve taught me so much babe, and we’ve learned so many things together...”

“Let’s not get carried away now hon” Ashlyn chuckled.

“Oh, I know I sound ridiculous, but I mean it. Like this idea right here” she nodded at the book of sonnets on Ashlyn’s hip. “I wasn’t wild about this at first, but I trusted you and guess what?”

“What?” the keeper stole a quick kiss because she couldn’t resist her adorable wife.

“I love reading these with you, like...really really love it.”

“You do?”

“I do and I love that you thought of doing this. It feels like you’ve just given me an amazing gift...you...” Ali started to get choked up. “You’ve given me back these sonnets...that I used to love” she sniffled and searched the hazel eyes she loved so much to see if Ashlyn could understand the magnitude of what she had done.

“They seemed really important to you...”

“They were” Ali held her wife’s face gently in both hands. “And then they weren’t, I put them away and tried to forget about them. And you’ve given them back to me. And I don’t know how to thank you.”

“You just did baby” the keeper brought their lips together in a soft kiss. “And thank you for letting me read them with you. I may not understand all of it but I’d love to learn about them with you. If you’ll teach me” Ashlyn looked hopefully at her wife who was still holding her face in her hands. “What do you say?”

“Always honey, I’ll always read poems with you. You can count on that” Ali gave her wife a slow, lingering kiss that they both started to get lost in. 

They kissed for several minutes, drinking each other in and enjoying the unexpected outcome. What had begun as a tentative, potentially-divisive conversation had turned into one of the sweetest moments of their time together. Ashlyn was relieved her idea had proven to be a good one and Ali was thankful that her trust in her keeper had been rewarded, as usual. They weren’t perfect and they were dealing with new challenges this year, but the communication they had continued to work so hard at was proving to be one of the strongest parts of their successful marriage. And good, open communication took both of them, all the time. It was truly a 50-50 experience that they both understood the importance of. 

The kiss turned into a slow make-out session when Ali climbed on top of her keeper and neither woman was in a hurry to end it, or to advance it. It was late as hell and they had a busy, stressful day of travel coming up in just a few short hours. They paused for a minute, catching their breath and trying to decide what to do without using words. Soft touches and caresses combined with more kisses and just the right pressure in certain places from one thigh or another led to a gentler, sleepier round 3. After they had each come again, they held each other tightly, as if fighting off the end of their romantic night together. And that’s how they fell asleep – naked in each other’s arms with both doors still locked and one light still on. It was unusual, and reckless, but sometimes these things happened when you were working on your marriage and reclaiming your sex life and reading poetry to the woman you loved.


	7. DC Vacation

Washington DC was a big bustling city with excitement and entertainment at every turn. It wasn’t Disney World fun, but it was a lot of fun and a hundred times more educational and all of the kids enjoyed their family vacation a lot. There was something there for everybody and Ali and Ashlyn made sure to spend time doing something special that each of their kids really loved to do. Drew was easy. His current favorite thing was baseball so the Kriegers took in a Washington Nationals game and Drew even got to meet some of the players before the game too. Nationals Park was located down by the Anacostia River on the south side of DC and Ashlyn took advantage of the location to show her family where she had lived with Meg and Hannah while playing for the Washington Spirit in the NWSL. Meg, in particular, enjoyed the trip down memory lane and added many of her own stories as the family drove and walked around the area.

Josie was easy to please as well – loving both musical theater and water parks in equal measure. She also liked museums more than the other kids and Ali was convinced it was because they were big and full of marble and high ceilings and they felt like a stage to the little girl. Maybe someday she would be able to articulate why she had an affinity for them and it would be more scholarly. Who knew? They took in a show at the Kennedy Performance Center, one of the biggest and most beautiful performance spaces in town, and then they also went and saw a small-scale local theater production in the famous Ford’s Theatre. The claim to fame for that historic space was, of course, that the assassination of President Abraham Lincoln had occurred during a performance in that very theater.

Dodge, for all of his physical energy, really wanted to see the Smithsonian. He loved the ‘Night at the Museum’ movies and had it in his head that this was where all three of those movies had taken place – even though both his moms had explained, several times, that only part of the second movie had been set in Washington DC. Dodge wasn’t interested in all those details. He wanted to see the immense building where everything came to life at night after the museum had closed. The youngster also loved the trip to the Lincoln Memorial for the same reason. Anything he recognized from that movie, or any other movie for that matter, caught his attention and got him excited.

Lily, as usual, didn’t have a strong opinion about what she wanted to do. Her chronic inability to make a decision was on full display for all 10 days of their vacation. Luckily, as she got older, she didn’t have as many temper tantrums when she ended up doing something that she might not have loved. Drew had a similar problem with making decisions sometimes and the two moms wondered if Lily had started by emulating her big brother’s behavior and had just gone off the rails. Both Ali and Ashlyn were trying extra hard to be patient with her because she was hobbling around on crutches but their patience wore thin eventually. After half of the vacation was gone, she finally told her parents – through wailing tears – that she wanted to go see the pretty flowers at the U.S. Botanic Garden. It turned out to be the most popular thing the family did all week long. There was a scavenger hunt that sent the kids off to identify plants and get their ‘passports’ stamped. Of course the Krieger kids competed hard with each other but had a ton of fun in the process. There was even a children’s garden where they could play in a playhouse, pump water, dig with shovels and water plants. It was too young for the bigger kids and almost too young for the twins, but they all did it anyway and Lily had the time of her life, crutches and all. 

“Look at him though” Ali whispered to her wife as they stood watching their children play in the dirt and playhouse. She had been anxiously keeping an eye on how wet Lily’s cast was getting but something else grabbed her attention.

“All I see is Dodge throwing dirt at other people’s kids” Ashlyn replied, her voice tense.

“Meg’s got him” Ali chuckled softly and patted her wife’s bicep to help calm her. Meg had jumped into the fray to remind the rambunctious boy that they weren’t in Mama’s garden at home and he needed to remember his manners. “Look at Drew...”

Ashlyn scanned the area and found her eldest son in the group of about 12 younger children enjoying the area along with the Kriegers. He had been laughing at Dodge’s antics and something that Josie had said right before a young boy plopped down in front of him and started to cry for no apparent reason. Drew took a step back and looked quickly for the child’s parents. When nobody immediately stepped forward he squatted down in front of the little boy who looked to be about 3 or 4 years old. He had no idea anybody was watching him.

“Here, do you want this shovel?” Drew offered the plastic shovel he had been holding in his hand and gave the crying boy a tentative smile.

The toddler blinked up at Drew and took a couple of shuddering breaths as he assessed the situation. He looked down at the green shovel in Drew’s outstretched hand and then back up at the strange, older boy. He reached a pudgy hand out and Drew moved forward, getting on his knees and putting the shovel close enough for the boy to reach.

“There you go” Drew smiled. “Do you know how to dig?” he asked, looking impatiently at the younger boy, expecting him to just automatically start using the shovel. “Yes? No?” Drew looked around again but there were still no parents coming to rescue the toddler who apparently hadn’t really been that upset at all. “I don’t know” Drew sighed and started to get up.

“Sometimes I had to show you how to use it” Ashlyn said as she knelt in the dirt next to her son, her shark boy, her first best boy. “It was like you forgot from the last time or something. Their little brains have lots going on in there, even though they look kind of dopey most of the time” she explained with a wink and a nudge. “Go ahead and show him.”

Drew carefully took the shovel back from the boy who was now watching him intently after taking in Ashlyn’s new presence for a minute. 

“See, you dig, like this” he showed the toddler, digging with the shovel and then pouring the dirt back down from about a foot in the air. The boy giggled and made an excited sound as he clapped his little hands together. “Now you try it.”

Ali stood there grinning while her own heart filled with love for her son and her wife. It was hard work being a parent and both Ali and Ashlyn had put up with a lot of attitude and discomfort and inconvenience and hurt feelings as well as physical and emotional injuries in the process. To see her son being so sweet and kind with a complete stranger, when he thought nobody was even paying attention, made her more proud than anything she could remember. Any of her other successes in life paled in comparison to when one of her kids displayed their goodness. There was nothing better. And to have Drew, their tween who was getting closer to angsty teen every day, be the one to show off the Krieger class that day was extra special. Just when both moms felt like they were losing their sweet son to teen hormones and changing bodies and pissy attitudes, he gave them this gift – reminding them that the good boy they had taught so well was still in there, somewhere.

Meg was wonderful the whole time they were in DC. She had just spent a week at The Academy volunteering with the whole family so she was up to speed on all of the changes that happened so quickly with the Krieger kids. One visit Lily was in love with flamingos and Josie was crazy about Beethoven and then by the next visit Meg got scoffed at for mentioning either thing. There was always an adjustment period when Meg came ‘home’ and last week had been no different. Even though she kept in touch with all the kids, FaceTiming and calling at least once a week, Meg was still out of the loop simply because things changed so damned fast with the kids. The DC trip was an instant on for the 18-year old and she was having fun with her younger half-siblings. They were old enough now where they weren’t constantly wrecking whatever she was working on or playing with or building. That was the main reason. They didn’t do very much to piss her off anymore. There were times when they made her furious, but those times were much fewer and farther between than ever before. The recent graduate was having a great time as a tour guide for the family, even though she had to keep checking with Hannah for details and answers to many questions that Ashlyn or Ali or even the kids asked. The keeper was more than happy to let Meg take the lead, as long as the decisions made sense and weren’t too dangerous.

“I’m just saying that bringing the kids on the Metro in the middle of 5:00 traffic time isn’t the best idea, that’s all” Ashlyn tried to explain her hesitation to Meg’s proposed plan for their Thursday afternoon.

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that” Meg frowned and reconsidered, her mind working hard on a solution.

It was Wednesday evening and they had just enjoyed a barbecue at Hannah and Meg’s house in Tenleytown in the Northwest area of DC. Ashlyn and Meg were going over the itinerary for the next day to make sure it would work for everybody while Ali cleaned up the kitchen and Hannah kept her eye on the kids running around in the backyard. They weren’t allowed in the pool yet because they had just eaten dinner and neither Ali nor Ashlyn had ever been willing to risk that old wives’ tale. Dr. Comello had given them lots of anecdotal evidence to support the practice but had also pointed out that there was no scientific way to explain why it made a damned bit of difference if you waited to go swimming after eating or not. The Kriegers had always waited an hour. Ali and Kyle had been raised that way and both still adhered to the policy with their own kids. Neither Nathan nor Ashlyn disagreed too much with it, even though they had both been raised with a more relaxed half-hour waiting period.

“We’ll be back on Monday, don’t forget that. We’re going to visit the DeFillippos for the weekend, but we can do Madame Toussauds and the National Museum of the American Indian on Monday and Tuesday if you want” the keeper reminded the young woman of the schedule that had been set for months. She was touched by Meg’s interest in her native American heritage and knew going to that museum was important to the redhead. “Have you decided if you want to come to Virginia with us or not? Deb’s flying in Friday afternoon.”

“I don’t know” Meg looked shyly at Ashlyn as they stood side by side at the kitchen island with the itinerary spread out in front of them. “They’re not really my family...”

“Meg, come on” Ashlyn rolled her eyes and stood up straighter, frustration evident in her voice and body language. “If you don’t want to come that’s fine. But don’t make up some lame excuse. Just tell me the truth. It’s ok if you have other stuff you wanna do. You’re leaving for college in a week. I get it. There’s other stuff going on for you right now besides this vacation. Nobody will be mad at you if you don’t wanna come this weekend. But be honest with me. That’s all I’m asking.”

“I know all that” Meg sighed and gave Ashlyn an annoyed frown of her own. “I really, just...I don’t know” she paused and bit her lip as she thought hard about what she wanted to say. She looked over her shoulder towards Ali who was scrubbing a burned pan in the sink, totally oblivious to the conversation. “I mean...Ali doesn’t even see them. I’ve never even met them...”

“Well neither have I” Ashlyn’s eyebrows went up but she was smiling now. “That’s why we’re going. To meet them and get to know them a little bit. So if that’s the only reason then that’s silly, but if you have other plans or just don’t wanna go...”

“Yo Margaret Ann! You ready?” a familiar voice yelled from the front foyer of the house after letting themselves in with a quick knock on the front door.

“In a minute Tiff” Meg turned and waved at her best friend as she walked into the kitchen. “Almost done.”

“Hi Tiff.”  
“Hey Tiff.”

Both Ali and Ashlyn greeted the young woman they felt like they knew so well after so many years of hearing everything about her from Meg.

“Hey Ash, hey Ali” Tiff smiled at them both and then looked at the mess of paper and calendar pages in front of Meg. “What the hell is all this?”

“Just finishing the plan for tomorrow...”

“Go ahead kiddo” Ashlyn began gathering up the paperwork and stacking it in front of her in one neat pile. “We have the morning planned out and we can figure out the afternoon while we’re eating lunch. We’re good.” The keeper chuckled at the twitch that passed across her wife’s face when she heard the plan. “And you can tell us tomorrow if you’re coming for the weekend or not too. Go and have fun.”

“You know, if you don’t want to spend the whole weekend you can just come to my birthday party” Ali offered as she dried her hands on a dishtowel and leaned back against the kitchen counter behind Meg and Ashlyn. 

“Ummmm...” Ashlyn and Meg exchanged a nervous look and the keeper stammered.

“Oh, right, it’s a surprise, right?” Ali chuckled and grinned. “I’ll act surprised, I promise” she winked. “I’m just saying, if you just wanna come to the big cookout on Sunday that’s totally fine Meg. But, for the record, my mom’s cousin is awesome and not at all like Aunt Becky. Thank God” she rolled her eyes. “Just let us know, that’s all. Whatever you decide. Ok?”

“Ok” Meg nodded. “Thanks” she smiled at the brunette. 

“What are you girls up to tonight anyway?” Ashlyn asked with a smirk.

“Nothing much.”  
“There’s a party at Nichelle’s...”

Meg glared at Tiff for divulging their plans and then tried to cover their tracks with some more stammering.

“Guys, listen” Ashlyn stepped towards the young women who had backed up towards the front entry way to make their escape. “You’re 18 and going to college in a month, or a week” she nodded at Meg. “You’re going to be on your own in no time and we have to trust that you’re going to make good, smart decisions. We’re not going to be at your dorm room when you come home after the parties. You do know that, right?”

Both girls laughed nervously when the keeper chuckled.

“You’re smart girls, smart young women” she corrected herself. “Go to parties and have fun, that’s part of what college is all about, by all means. But be smart. Be safe. Remember you’re the grown-ups now. We’ll always be here for you if you need us or have questions, but you’re gonna be making a lot of your own rules at school. It’s all up to you now. You succeed or you fail, one or the other, and it all comes down to your decisions. So make good ones. Alright?”

When Ali and Ashlyn had rejoined the younger kids and Hannah by the backyard pool a few minutes later, the brunette gave her wife’s arm a squeeze as they watched Drew execute an excellent cannonball off the diving board, drenching his siblings and making them laugh approvingly.

“She’s gonna be ok you know. You and Hannah did a great job and she’s smart and such a good kid” she spoke quietly so only Ashlyn could hear her. “I know you’re nervous as hell because I’m nervous too so you must be climbing the walls” she giggled and moved her hand to rub across her keeper’s shoulders and back. “But she’s gonna be ok. Tiff on the other hand...”

They both laughed out loud at the idea of Meg’s flighty best friend handling the transition from high school to college well. Nobody really expected it to happen and all three of Meg’s moms were more than a little relieved that Meg and Tiff were going to different colleges.

“You’re right” Ashlyn sighed and leaned into the brunette a bit. “I know this is how it’s supposed to be but it just feels so...so fucking terrifying” she sighed again. “But I guess this is the drill. This is what I signed up for.”

//

Lovingston, Virginia was a 3-hour drive Southwest of Washington DC. It was almost directly in the middle of the state, equidistant from North Carolina to the South, West Virginia to the West, and Maryland to the North. It was a very small town settled in among many other small towns in central Virginia and the main industry in the area was vineyards and distilleries. Many of the people who lived in those small towns commuted every day to the bigger Virginia cities that were close by like Lynchburg to the South, or Staunton to the West or Charlottesville to the North. It was a sleepy little town and the citizens who lived there liked it that way. Debbie Christopher’s cousin, Diana DeFillippo, had lived in Lovingston with her husband Sal for over 30 years. They had raised two daughters there who were both now in their late 30s and early 40s with husbands and families of their own. Diana’s daughters had both moved away, but not too far away, both still within a 2-hour’s drive distance. 

Diana and Deb were only a year apart in age and had been close growing up together in Northern Virginia and Maryland. Diana’s older sister, Maria Jelinek, was 5-years older and there had been other cousins from the Scaglione side of the family in the area as well. Deb’s mother, Anna Maria Scaglione, and Diana’s mother, Josefina Scaglione, had been sisters – the only two girls among the five siblings born into the Scaglione name back in the 1930’s. The three Scaglione boys spread out a bit throughout the Maryland area and Josefina, Aunt Jo as Deb knew her, married Lou Anderson and moved to Frederick, MD just north of the Northernmost part of Virginia. Anna Maria, Deb’s mother, married Milton Johnson and moved to Dumfries in Northern Virginia just outside of Washington DC. Anna Maria and Milton and their two children, Eugene and Debra, all lived in Dumfries until the kids went to college. Debra got a scholarship to play basketball at Wheaton College just south of Boston, MA in 1978 and that’s how she met and eventually married Ken Krieger. Deb had been a standout athlete in high school and had a choice of a few colleges that were offering scholarships. Her parents were already paying for her older brother Eugene to go to a University close to home so Deb needed to get a full scholarship if she was going to be able to fulfill her dream of higher education. In the mid-70s there was a group of Liberal Arts Colleges that were trying to form an organization in which they shared best practices and joined forces to further their joint interests. They would eventually form the Oberlin Group in 1984 which became the Annapolis Group in 1993, fulfilling their mission. The founding deans of that group were primarily from colleges and universities in the mid-Atlantic area but the group spanned the entire east coast, comprised of about 140 Liberal Arts institutions. Several of the colleges in the DC, Maryland, Virginia area knew about basketball star and excellent student Debra Johnson but none were in the position to offer her a full scholarship. Through the connections from that early version of the Annapolis Group, a handful of member colleges in the Northeast became interested in the athlete who had brains too. Wheaton College was appealing for many reasons but it was the full scholarship that ultimately won Deb over.

Deb kept in touch with her extended family as best she could but her parents died in 2000 and 2003 and her visits to the DC area stopped after that. Her brother, Ali & Kyle’s Uncle Gene, stayed in the DMV area as a bachelor for the rest of his life. He died in 2020 and Deb, Mike Christopher, and both Ali and Kyle had flown down for the services. Kyle and Ali had memories of their Grandparents and Uncle Gene but they didn’t see them too much when they were growing up. Nothing had ever been confirmed, but after being at the wake and the funeral for Uncle Gene, Kyle was convinced that their uncle had been gay. His long bachelorhood and rather secretive life made a lot more sense under that new light.

Deb’s Aunt Jo and Deb’s cousin, Aunt Jo’s eldest daughter Maria, had both died from ovarian cancer. Aunt Jo back in 2009 and Maria in 2024. It was Maria’s death that had prompted the family to start looking at the ovarian cancer genes lurking in their DNA. But all six of the women had gotten good results from their BRCA tests, Deb, Diana, Ali, Maria’s daughter Louise, and Diana’s two daughters Georgia and Eliza. They all continued to keep a watchful eye and get their ultrasounds and blood tests, just to be safe.

Diana DeFillippo lived in a lovely home with a big backyard that was full of every kind of bird feeder you could think of. She was a year older than Deb Christopher and had retired in 2024 at the age of 65. It had been a momentous year for Di – she and her husband joined Deb & Mike Christopher for their Italy trip in the Spring, her older sister passed away in the Summer, and Di retired at the end of the year. Since then she had spent a lot of time in her backyard - gardening and landscaping and creating beautiful, tranquil spots for she and her husband to sit in and enjoy their time together. Her world revolved around her daughters and their children and she doted on her grandchildren. Diana was a lot like Deb in that way, as well as in her personality. Both women were kind and strong and enjoyed living life and having fun. They had become even closer since their trip to Italy six years earlier and Deb had been there for Di as they said goodbye to her sister Maria. Ali still felt guilty about not going to Maria’s funeral. She knew it was important to her mother but the twins were only 14 months old and they had just returned from the Olympics trip in Los Angeles two weeks before the funeral. Still, Ali regretted missing it. She should have gone and arranged help for Ashlyn with the kids. She was embarrassed and ashamed that she hadn’t done it.

“Who are we visiting again?” Lily asked from the back of the rented minivan as Ashlyn pulled into the DeFillippo’s long driveway.

“Grandma’s cousin, Mrs. DeFillippo...Diana...” Ali began to explain again but was interrupted by Josie.

“Diana? Like Wonder Woman?” the redhead asked.

“Yes” Ali chuckled from the seat in the cramped back row, between Lily and Josie. “Diana like Wonder Woman.”

“Is she our cousin?” Drew scrunched his face up, trying to work out the relation. 

All of the kids, by that point, had done their own immediate family trees in school. But Grandparents’ cousins weren’t typically included.

“No, she’s Grandma’s cousin” Ashlyn took this one after a slight pause from her wife. Ali had explained this ad nauseum in the days prior to the trip and had lost some patience on the matter. “Like Cristina and Edgar or Johnny and Lizzy are your cousins.”

“So...my second cousin?” he kept trying.

“No, buddy, I don’t think so” Ashlyn replied as she put the vehicle in park and undid her seatbelt. “I’m honestly not sure but I don’t think so. It’ll be like you going to visit Edgar when you’re old and your daughter and grandkids come along with you too.”

All four kids gave their Mama their full attention for several seconds as they tried to process what she had just said. It was a cute moment of silence that made Deb cackle from her spot in the front passenger seat. But it was short-lived because Diana, 71 years old and still fit and active just like Deb, had opened the door to greet her much-anticipated guests with open arms and a gigantic grin.

Diana, her husband Sal, and their younger daughter, Eliza, played host to the Krieger clan that hot and muggy July day. They ate lunch in the beautiful backyard, despite the heat, and ran around in the sprinkler and played on the slip and slide about a million times. The next day, Sunday July 28th, both of Diana’s daughters and their families would be joining them for Ali’s surprise birthday party. Deb stayed with her cousin for the night while Ali and Ashlyn drove their kids 30 minutes North to a hotel in Charlottesville for the night. As much as Diana had tried to get them all to accept her hospitality for the night, even Deb had finally told her that she didn’t really know what she was getting herself into. Diana had two kids and her sister Maria had had 3 kids. None of that next generation had had more than 3 kids either. Something about having 4 children, all 11 and under, was twice as challenging as that and nobody could really explain exactly why.

The birthday party was a big success and Ali did indeed pretend to be surprised. The kids were definitely surprised because nobody had trusted them with the secret in the first place. Ali’s birthday was really just an excuse to get everybody together and the brunette knew it. She was a good sport about it and everybody had a nice time. Birthday cake and ice cream was always a big hit, no matter whose birthday was being celebrated. Diana was lovely and Ali could see why she and her mother were so close. She smiled as she thought about the two young cousins growing up together and was very happy that they had reconnected and grown closer over the past ten years or so. Diana’s daughters, Georgia and Eliza, were both nice too. Not as nice as their mother, but as it was with Deb, that seemed like a lot to ask. Deb was disappointed that none of Maria’s three kids had made the trip and she had a hard time hiding it. Especially Louise whom she felt bonded with to a certain degree because of their shared ovarian cancer threat situation. There were two big takeaways from the get-together, one of which was that Maria’s husband Frank had been a close-minded man and he had raised three children who weren’t very tolerant or open-minded either. Maria had been more accepting but not nearly enough to counteract her domineering husband’s offensive attitudes.

“Seriously? They’re not here because I’m a lesbian?” Ali asked, shocked at the realization. “I can’t believe it” she fumed. “No wonder Uncle Gene hid his entire life.” 

The brunette used to be much more forgiving of the bigots in her own family. But the older she got the less patience she had for any of that bullshit. She was in the kitchen with Deb, Diana, and Eliza who had spent time with them the day before as well. 

“Honey, you know how it is with some of the older generation...” Deb tried to placate her daughter even as her own heart panged for her brother Gene’s difficult life. He had kept the secret even from her, his sister.

“Older generation? Maria was only 5 or 6 years older than you guys” the brunette looked from Deb to Diana. “How come you guys get it and your cousin Frank didn’t?”

“He was older than Maria was” Diana offered. “He was 11 years older so yes, he was part of that older generation. I’m not excusing it though” she shook her head. ”I really thought Louise would be here. I’m sorry.”

The other women watched Ali’s face flash with anger as she reacted to the lingering effects of Frank Jelinek’s hatred.

“I don’t know, I mean, even if they had a problem with Ashlyn and me they still should have come to see you mom” she paused, trying to control her temper. “What? Do they think we’re going to start having sex on the coffee table or something? I mean, really?”

Everybody burst out laughing, which had not been the brunette’s intent, but she couldn’t resist for very long either. Soon all four of them were bent over in hysterics, tears of laughter streaming down their faces. Narrow-minded bigots were less common than ever, but they were proving to be as tough to eradicate as the cockroaches they shared so many similarities with.

The other takeaway was disturbing in an entirely different way. Diana had revealed to her cousin that Saturday night before the birthday party, that she had recently been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She had caught it earlier than she would have without the regularly scheduled ultrasounds, but it was aggressive and her prognosis wasn’t great. Instead of the shocking and dire 3-6 months that her sister Maria had been given back in 2024, Diana had been given 12-18 months. That was certainly better but still devastating to Diana and her family. Deb took the news hard and wasn’t sure how to tell Ali without freaking her out at the same time. She ended up telling the brunette while they were driving back to DC Monday morning in the packed minivan. Ashlyn had taken the unpopular seat in the middle of the back row between Josie and Lily and Ali was driving with Deb in the passenger seat. As they typically did on longer drives, the moms played a video or movie and the screen that was situated just behind the front seats held everybody’s attention. At home they would have used the wireless headphones for each kid to limit the noise for the driver and usually Drew. He preferred to play a video game on his iPad with his headphones plugged in and the noise from the movie would make that challenging without everybody else’s headphones. But that Monday morning, without headphones in the rented minivan, the movie blared through the audio speakers in the vehicle and Drew did his best to hear his game, jacking the volume up on that too. Nobody could hear Ali or Deb unless they turned around and shouted so they knew they could have a private conversation, at least for a little while.

“You’re kidding!” Ali’s eyes went wide as her heart sank at the news. “Oh my God. That’s awful. I’m so sorry Mom.”

Deb didn’t say anything else for a minute or two, letting her daughter absorb the bad news. She watched Ali’s hands grip the steering wheel tighter and her knuckles turn white. She wondered if it was fear or rage or something else coursing through the brunette at that moment.

“She caught it early, well, earlier than most. She’s gonna fight like hell. She told me so herself” Deb nodded after another couple of quiet minutes, the sound of everybody else laughing at the old Spongebob Squarepants DVD feeling incongruous and weirdly out of place. “She’s 71 this year. Maria was only 70 when she died” Deb spoke evenly and slowly, her mind trying to process her own fear and anger at the same time.

Deb thought back to the 70th birthday party she herself had just enjoyed earlier that very month. It had been at the end of the third week of summer for the kids and Kyle and his family were up for their usual vacation too. Deb knew they were going to throw her a party, her husband and kids had always been good about marking her big day. But she had no idea just how big it was going to be. They waited until Saturday July 13th so Drew and Edgar would be there, back from their sleepover soccer camp. Kyle had fooled her good in his mission of distraction on that day. He pretended that he had to make a quick stop on the way to the restaurant where they were going to meet for a family birthday dinner. He had to check out a space for a possible location for the documentary he was getting ready to start filming soon. When they walked in to the warehouse space by Gloucester Harbor to inspect the location, almost 40 people jumped out to surprise Deb. She had nearly had a heart attack she was so shocked and overwhelmed at first. Her grandkids all ran out to hug her, Lily hobbling along on her crutches which she had gotten only 3 days earlier. That sort of greeting kept Grandma’s heartrate at tolerable levels and eased her into the big celebration that evening three weeks ago. Debbie Christopher wasn’t one who dwelled on her mortality very often but that birthday had really gotten to her – and it was precisely because her cousin Maria had died at the same age, 6 years earlier.

“Aunt Jo was 75 though, right?” Ali glanced over at her mother who was looking forward, pensively. “That’s four more years...and she didn’t even catch it as early as Di did, right?”

“That’s right” Deb blew out a breath and rubbed her face with both hands. “You’re right” she nodded but her voice sounded frail and her eyes looked tired and worn out by the conversation and the whole fucking idea of ovarian cancer taking so many people she loved. “You’re right” she mumbled as she tried to hold back her tears. 

She turned to face the side window, hoping to get control of herself and not upset Ali while she was driving on the highway. The brunette kept stealing quick looks to gauge what her mother needed from her. Ali didn’t hear Deb sound so defeated very often. It was unsettling, especially when added to the bad news about Diana. Her own mind whirled from one scary thing to the next, stopping for only a split second to process a new terrifying possibility now and then. She gripped the steering wheel as if it was a lifeline keeping her afloat and grounded to reality. She wasn’t even sure how much time had gone by but finally Deb turned and gave her a half-smile, trying her hardest to smile warmly and failing.

“Have you given any more thought to having the hysterectomy?”

“Well, I hadn’t...until a few minutes ago” Ali swallowed and reached for her water bottle to take a drink, her mouth suddenly bone dry.

“Georgia did it and says it wasn’t so bad” the older woman tried to sound supportive and optimistic, referring to Diana’s oldest daughter who had chosen to have a partial hysterectomy back in 2025 after learning about the scary family history. “Di says Eliza’s going to do it too. She wasn’t going to, until...”

“Until now” Ali took a deep breath and let her shoulders slump as she kept her eyes on the road. “I really don’t want to, at least not until I go through menopause. All the hormone replacement pills you have to take, and it really messes up a lot of things in your body. And they don’t even really know what the hell they’re looking for in there. I mean, women have complete hysterectomies and then still get ovarian cancer two years down the road. It’s so frustrating.”

“Well, just give it some thought...”

“That’s all I’ve done is think about this fucking cancer” Ali’s jaw set and she frowned as the angry words left her lips. “If anybody, and I mean anybody, could tell me that having the surgery would eliminate the risk of getting ovarian cancer I would do it in a heartbeat. I’m not an idiot” she snapped, not at her mother, but at cancer and life in general. 

Deb knew better than to interrupt her daughter when she had a head of steam going like this so she just listened and waited. She wished she had been strong enough to have waited to have this discussion until they were back in DC, but she was really upset by Diana’s news and she just couldn’t keep it inside another minute. If Ali needed to pull over, then that’s what they would do. For now, the brunette just kept the angry diatribe going. 

“But nobody can say that! Not one fucking expert. Even Patty – Dr. Comello, says it’s ridiculous how little we know about what causes it. And if we can’t figure that out then we don’t know how to prevent it and here we are. Getting ovarian cancer and dropping like flies. I’m so fucking furious right now...”

“I’m sorry baby girl” Deb reached her hand over the wide console between them with her palm up. “So so sorry” she frowned sadly when Ali glanced over again.

“Aw mom, I’m sorry too” the brunette shook her head and clasped her mother’s hand, resting them both on the console between them.

They drove on like that for another ten minutes, neither woman wanting to let go.

“Why’s Mommy holding Grandma’s hand?” Josie asked Ashlyn, leaning her head to get a better look.

The keeper had seen it too and was wondering the same thing but knew better than to speculate with the kids. She could probably guess if she really had to, but she didn’t want to. She didn’t want their nice weekend visit to end like that. She didn’t want to think about the fact that she had just met Diana, Georgia and Eliza for the very first time and was now probably going to be losing one of them to the dreaded disease they were all trying so hard to avoid. Instead, she gave the redhead a hug and kissed the top of her head.

“Oh who knows, little one” she smiled down at the girl. “Let’s just mind our own business and watch the show, ok?”

“I’d rather color” Josie smiled back as Ashlyn turned to her other side and gave Lily a hug and a kiss too.

“As you wish my love” the keeper grabbed the activity bag Ali had packed from beneath her seat and put it on her lap so Josie could get the crayons and blank paper out of it. “As you wish.”


	8. Moving Day & Fools in Love

“What in the hell is she doing now?!” Ashlyn’s exasperated voice filled the cab of the rented moving truck she was driving.

“I’m not sure...” Hannah leaned closer to the windshield and squinted towards Meg’s brand new Jeep Wrangler travelling just ahead of them on the highway. It was a black, 2-door sport Wrangler with a soft top. Just like Ashlyn’s first Jeep had been, except with an automatic instead of manual transmission. Driving in Boston was hard enough without having to worry about a stick shift. “Fixing her ponytail, I think.”

“That’s it, I’m calling her...” Ashlyn started to reach for her phone.

“Just settle down” Hannah chuckled and pulled the keeper’s phone out of her reach, placing it face down on her own lap. “You’re just going to make her nervous. She’s ok now. Look...” she nodded towards her daughter, “...she’s all done. Both hands on the wheel again.”

“I told her...” Ashlyn set her jaw and furrowed her brow. “She had to focus on driving and nothing else or we weren’t going to keep this arrangement up.”

“WE told her” Hannah chuckled again. “She’s doing good. She’s not dancing anymore. She’s not fixing her hair anymore. Tiff isn’t poking at her anymore...” she listed off some of the questionable behavior they’d witnessed during the past 45 minutes since switching up the driving arrangements at the last pit stop.

“She’s not taking this seriously enough Han. I think you should get back in the Jeep again.”

“If they start acting up again I will” the redhead nodded. “I don’t want her to drive off the road any more than you do. But, she’s alright Ash.”

Nobody was really sure how it had happened, or when exactly, but Ashlyn had turned into a borderline-psychotic driving critic over the years. She had always prided herself on being a good driver, and she was definitely a very good driver. Nobody questioned that. But she had started pointing out the bad driving of other people on the road. Constantly. Ali didn’t even notice it anymore, but the kids did and they teased her about it mercilessly. The keeper took advantage of every chance she got to teach her kids the right way to drive a car and behave while doing so. One of the easiest ways to do that was to identify bad drivers and questionable decisions as they happened on the road. She was always calling out things when she was driving the kids around to their activities and events.

“See, now that car didn’t stop for 3 seconds at that stop sign. You can’t just roll through the intersection like that. That’s how accidents happen.”

“Who can tell me what it means when the light turns yellow? No, it doesn’t mean hit the gas. It means slow down and get ready to stop.”

“This is a rotary and they’re ridiculous. Only in New England... Just, do your best and take your time and use your signal so everybody else knows where you’re trying to go. And don’t stop! It’s all about merging. We’ll practice though, you’ll be ok.”

“If I EVER see any of you even LOOKING at your phone while you’re behind the wheel of a car...it’ll be the last time you ever use your phone OR drive a car.”

Ali was convinced that it had started when Meg got old enough to ask about driving and the rules of the road. She was 18 that summer so it had been about 3 years of unfiltered driving instruction via critique and there didn’t seem to be any end in sight. In another 4 years Drew would be 15 and getting ready to start learning how to drive himself. It would take them another 7 years after that to get both twins their junior licenses at 16-1/2 years old and then another 18 months for the full license at 18 years. The brunette worried that her wife’s nerves would be shot well before the twins were even close to old enough to start learning the rules of the road.

The idea of driving Meg up to college at the end of the Krieger family vacation in DC had always sounded like a good one. The question of logistics hadn’t dampened anyone’s enthusiasm either. Ashlyn, Hannah and Meg had mapped out their route and decided how often they should stop for gas and snacks and picked out the hotel they would stay in during their 2-day trip. They carefully plotted out drive times between major cities so they could try and avoid getting stuck in rush hour traffic and blowing their schedule up. Total drive time was a little under 8 hours, if everything went well, but they wanted to make it enjoyable instead of just one long, painful day of driving. That’s where the hotel stay came into the plan. Originally, they were going to stay with Kyle and his family in New York City which was about half the distance to Boston, but finding a place to park the moving truck had proven troublesome. So they agreed to stop in New Jersey, just South of the city, and the NYC Kriegers would meet them for dinner. Kyle offered to take the girls out for the night too but that wasn’t really what the trip was for. Instead, they had a lower-key evening planned at an amusement park that they were all looking forward to.

But the smooth planning hadn’t always been the way the trip had come about. There had been quite a bit of tumult and many hurt feelings when the idea had first come to light. In early May, after Meg had been accepted to Boston College and Hannah had secured her spot there with the first deposit payment, the two redheads had spent a quick weekend at the big old house making decisions for dorm-housing arrangements for the soon-to-be college student. It was Saturday night and the young Krieger kids were all in bed. Emma and Julie Donaldson had just gone back next door for the night after joining the family for dinner and staying to chat a while. Ashlyn and Meg were sitting across from each other at the nook table at the rear of the family room, discussing the very first ideas for driving up to Boston later that summer. Ali was cleaning up in the kitchen, moving back and forth and idly listening to the conversation between Ashlyn and Meg. Hannah was sitting sideways on the nearby couch, facing the rest of the room and the kitchen the way Ashlyn usually liked to sit on the couch there in the family room. She was catching up on some work emails for a big event her company was working on that very night. She looked like she was only half-listening but she was actually tuned in to every word and answered scheduling questions from her daughter as they came up in the conversation.

Ashlyn and Meg were very excited and they kept bouncing ideas off of each other at a rapid pace. Some of them were good ideas and some were completely silly and they laughed them off and moved on to the next. Hannah was listening and chiming in from time to time, answering her daughter when she called out a question about their summer plans or the required move-in dates for her new school. Ali watched all three of them as she moved through the kitchen, stealing glances from one side of the big fireplace separating the two rooms or the other. Ashlyn and Meg looked happy as two pigs in mud. Hannah did not. The elder redhead seemed sad and it looked to Ali like it was more than just getting ready to send her only daughter to college. She was used to that look – Ashlyn wore it more often as the days flew by in Meg’s high school chapter. Hannah was upset about something and Ali thought she knew what it was. When she had finished cleaning up, she walked over to the nook table to check on the planning and try to get her wife to understand her message without using words. She stood at the end of the table, Ashlyn on her left in one of the chairs and Meg on her right in the banquette seat that faced the room, and listened to the explosion of ideas about the best trip ever planned in the history of trips of the world. She glanced at Hannah on the couch, farther to her left and behind Ashlyn’s back, and saw her even more troubled face.

“So you guys have this trip all planned out already huh?” Ali smiled at Meg and gave Ashlyn a different look entirely.

“Yeah! It’s gonna be awesome!” Meg enthused, sounding like an excited 10-year old and filling the room with light and joy without even trying. “Me and Ash are gonna drive my new Jeep up to college. We can stop whenever we want and see whatever we wanna see too. We’ll split it into two days so we don’t have to rush. It’ll be so much fun!”

Ashlyn and Meg went on for another 5 full minutes, excitedly talking about what they had planned so far. Hannah continued to watch but hadn’t said anything in several minutes. Meg hadn’t asked her any questions in a while either.

“Wow, that sounds great you guys” Ali grinned at the cute pair at the table, trying one last time to get Ashlyn to understand that they were excluding Hannah and hurting her feelings. But the keeper only tilted her head quizzically at her wife, totally missing the message. “Do you think you’ll have room for one more on the trip?” Ali subtly nodded towards Hannah but still couldn’t get her point across.

“You wanna come too?” Meg’s face lit up. “That would be so cool. Really?”

Ali’s heart dropped. That was not what she was getting at. At all. Fuck. 

“That’d be great hon. It’ll be at the end of July because her pre-season and training camps start...” Ashlyn turned her head to the side as she directed the question at Hannah, “when do they start again Han?”

Hannah shook her head in annoyance but only Ali caught it. 

“Monday, August 5th” Hannah replied curtly, her mouth set in a grim line.

“Right” Ashlyn nodded, still clueless to the storm brewing right behind her. “Thanks. Write that down Meg. If you’re gonna do this you’ve gotta learn to keep track of this stuff on your own.”

“No, I didn’t mean me...” Ali gave it one last attempt at subtlety.

Both Ashlyn and Meg looked up at her blankly, blinking like confused deer in headlights.

“I don’t get it” Meg frowned. “You want us to take one of the kids or something?”

“Oh my God you two” the brunette blew out an exasperated breath and shook her head. “Your mother” she leaned towards Meg with both eyebrows up and her hands on her hips. “Did it occur to either one of you that she might have her own plans for getting you to college? Bringing you to college and getting you started on the next huge chapter in your life is a big deal! You might want to include her in it.”

Before Ashlyn or Meg could even say anything, Hannah stood up in a huff, anger filling her face. Ali couldn’t blame her and hoped that the two planners learned their lesson after the tongue-lashing they were about to get. But Hannah wasn’t upset with them.

“Hey, I don’t need you fighting my battles for me Ali” she snapped as she moved around the coffee table, freeing herself from the confined area between it and the couch. Her cheeks were pink either from embarrassment or anger and it was hard to tell which. “If I want to take my daughter to college then I’ll take my goddamned daughter to college. I don’t need your permission or your help.” She gathered her laptop and her phone and had one last thing to say as she straightened up and got ready to make her exit through the dining room. “Why don’t you just stay in your lane, ok Ali? You’ve got plenty to worry about with your own damned kids.”

Hannah turned on her heel and was gone before anybody could do or say anything. Ali felt the words hit her as if the redhead had slapped her across the face. She had an unpleasant flashback to her confrontation with Hannah back in the Germany bathroom at Epcot Center for Ashlyn’s 30th birthday celebration. An awful wave of powerful emotions crashed into the brunette and she turned abruptly and retreated up the backstairs to the master bedroom. She had to get out of there before yelling something back in anger, or, worse, crying.

“Mom, wait!” Meg tried in vain.  
“Honey, don’t go...” Ashlyn spoke to her wife at the same time.

Meg started to slide out of the nook seat to go after Hannah but Ashlyn stopped her with a hand on her wrist and a steady voice.

“Let her go” she nodded softly. “She’s mad and probably embarrassed and you’d better let her cool off” she suggested, remembering all too well her ex’s fiery temper. 

“I don’t know what just happened though” the teenager scrunched her face up in confusion as she sat back down with a sigh. “Why is she mad at Ali? We’re the ones who messed up.”

“I’m the one who messed up” Ashlyn groaned as she scrubbed her face with her hands. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. Fuck.”

It had taken some talking and apologizing, but before Meg and Hannah left to go back to DC the next afternoon everything had been forgiven. At least on the surface. Meg had apologized to Ali on her mother’s behalf and for her own short-sightedness about including Hannah in the first place. Hannah had apologized to Ashlyn for causing a scene. A tentative truce had formed between Ali and Hannah without them even talking about the conflict. The two women didn’t normally share a lot of interaction on a regular basis so the cold war of hurt feelings and regrets lasted all the way to the Krieger family vacation at the end of that July. Hannah had been welcoming and accommodating during the vacation, even offering her own home for the family to stay in rather than going to a hotel. But Ali had already decided, with Ashlyn’s blessing, that they would be staying in a hotel right in the heart of downtown DC so they could have easy access to most of the sights they were planning to see. It was a smart decision and none of the extended group regretted it, except maybe Meg who always liked it best when her whole family was together under one roof. But she wasn’t a child anymore and she had started to understand that some things just weren’t always possible. Hannah and Ali had resumed their normal relationship, which was best described as polite acceptance of the other’s place in their lives with various moments of deeper gratitude from one loving mom to another thrown into the mix. The fight from May was never discussed again. 

The plan had changed into both Ashlyn and Hannah driving Meg up to Boston and then been tweaked one final time when Tiff was added to the passenger list. She had a whole extra month off because she wasn’t playing any sports that required her to report for duty a month early. The plan, as they drove out of Tenleytown Thursday morning, August 1st, was for one of the grown-ups to be inside the Jeep with the two girls at all times. Meg was a decent driver, but she was still only 18-1/2 with a scant 2 years of driving experience under her belt. Most of that time had not been spent on highway driving either. It wasn’t that they didn’t trust her. It was more that they didn’t trust everybody else on the road. Ashlyn took on the responsibility of driving the 15-foot moving truck because she really wasn’t confident that Hannah could handle it. After spending that night with Kyle and his family at the amusement park and relaxing a bit with half the drive behind them, Ashlyn and Hannah eased the rules for day two of the drive. Truthfully, Hannah felt bad for Ashlyn being all alone in the truck. 4 hours was a long time to be driving solo, especially when you were used to driving with a vehicle full of noisy, animated children. The keeper had protested, but finally agreed when Meg had made a heartfelt promise to do her very best driving. It was only 10:45am and Ashlyn was already questioning the wisdom of their decision. Hannah had calmed her down enough, for the meantime, and they rode along, making amiable small talk for the next two hours. As Boston got closer and closer, both women got more and more nostalgic about the daughter they loved so much. They told all their favorite stories about the sweet redhead when she was a little girl and kept going until they got to the present moment – about to be left on her own as a college freshman in Boston, Massachusetts. When they were only a half hour away from the dorm, Hannah spoke with a voice full of emotion.

“I can’t...” she stopped, waiting to get better control of herself. “I don’t know how...to thank you...”

Ashlyn wasn’t sure where the conversation was headed but she knew enough to give Hannah some time to get out whatever she needed to say on her own terms and in her own time. When the silence stretched out for more than two minutes, the keeper realized her ex might not be able to get the words to come out at all.

“I love her Han. It’s just that simple” she shrugged and spoke softly. “There’s no thanks about it.”

“I know” she nodded, her voice choked in her throat. She took a deep breath and tried again with better results. “I’ve questioned a lot of things about...everything... over the past 15 years, but that was never one of them. Not ever” she smiled and reached over to rub the keeper’s shoulder. “I couldn’t have asked for a better partner to raise my daughter with Ash. I want you to know that.”

It was Ashlyn’s turn to get emotional and she gave the redhead a quick glance as her lip quivered and the tears threatened to fall from her hazel eyes. They nodded mutely at each other as the keeper reached up and put her hand on top of Hannah’s, still on her shoulder. They held hands like that for another minute, taking turns squeezing and patting each other as they tried to get their unwieldy emotions back under control.

“Fuck, this is hard as hell” Ashlyn finally choked out, wiping her eyes after Hannah pulled her hand back to do the same.

“You’re telling me” Hannah made a noise that was part groan and part chuckle. “I still can’t believe we’re driving our little girl to college. She’s all grown up and I honestly don’t know how the hell it happened. Where did the time go?”

“You’re a great mom you know” Ashlyn gave the redhead a warm smile. “I know I don’t tell you that enough. But I know it. And Meg knows it too. I hope you realize what a great job you’ve done with her.”

“I had a lot of help” Hannah winked at the keeper and laughed quietly. “And she was a really good kid. Let’s not forget about that. If she had been a little hellion I would not be winning any mother of the year awards, that’s for damned sure.”

“She was a good kid. But don’t you think that’s because she had such a good mother?”

“Maybe” Hannah spoke slowly, considering her words carefully as she watched the Jeep in front of them. “She’s had three pretty good moms. I know it made a difference. I wasn’t always happy about it” she sighed and rolled her eyes at herself, embarrassed about the jealousy she still felt for Ali Krieger – even though it was about her daughter instead of the keeper now. “But Meg didn’t know it” she whipped her head to look over at Ashlyn, “and I hope Ali didn’t know it either.”

“Well, she’s not an idiot Han” Ashlyn quirked an eyebrow at her ex and saw Hannah drop her eyes.

“I feel awful about that fight...about this trip” Hannah’s face was filled with remorse. “I didn’t mean it...what I said. Ali’s been great with Meg all along. I don’t know how I can ever thank her for that” she paused and it was quiet for a minute. “I’m so sorry I said that...that she should butt out...”

“Stay in her lane” Ashlyn corrected, her voice even and hard to read. The keeper hadn’t forgotten Hannah’s words or how deeply they had injured Ali. “You told her to stay in her own lane.”

“Ugh...” Hannah shook her head and closed her eyes at the unpleasant memory. “I was hurt and angry and...and...she’s the one who took the hit. But I didn’t mean it.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m not the one you should be telling this to” Ashlyn replied quietly.

There was a long, awkward pause and the keeper actually wondered if they would say anything else for the rest of the drive. When the silence stretched out longer than she could bear, Ashlyn, soft-hearted as ever, threw Hannah a bone.

“But she’s always given you credit when it came to Meg. She knew you were a good mom right from the very start.”

Hannah caught Ashlyn’s eye and they shared a brief but warm smile. The redhead blinked her thanks back and then chuckled as they both returned their eyes to the Jeep in front of them. Hannah was still chuckling when she finally spoke again.

“Just...not a great girlfriend.”

“Yeah, nope – not a fan of you as my girlfriend, that’s for sure” Ashlyn chuckled. “But you were both able to get past that, or at least put it all aside for Meg’s sake. I’ll always be grateful to you both for that. This could have been a total fucking disaster if either one of you had decided to be a jerk about any of it. Thank God” she raised her eyes up to the top of the truck cab in a playful prayer.

They were quiet for another minute or so before Hannah spoke again.

“You’re both great moms too you know, and I don’t just mean with Meg. Those kids of yours are something else and I have no clue how you do it” she laughed out loud. “One is hard enough for me and you fools have four of them!” she laughed even louder. “What the hell were you thinking?” they both cracked up.

“Oh man” the keeper said through her laughter. “Don’t get me started. I have no fucking clue why we thought that would be a good idea. Although – technically we only signed up for three.”

“True” Hannah nodded and giggled. “Hard to imagine life without both Dodge and Lily in it though. God they’re cute. So much the same but totally different in so many ways. All your kids are like that though. How does that happen?”

“Don’t ask me. I still get freaked out when Drew and Josie act more like me than Ali sometimes, and same with Dodge and Lily using all the same mannerisms as Ali. It’s weird as hell. And we still can’t figure out where Josie got her coloring from” Ashlyn’s eyes were wide but the smile on her face was enormous.

They talked for several more minutes about the young Krieger kids and some of the adorable and obnoxious things Hannah had seen them do during their visit. As the conversation started to wind down, Hannah admitted something she had never told Ashlyn before.

“She’s good for you. Ali, I mean. You’ve changed a lot, grown up a lot, and I’m not saying it’s because of her...but, it sounds silly, but you guys are good together. You make each other better, I think. It’s good to know that kind of thing really exists out there, you know?”

“I don’t know how I got so lucky. I’m grateful every single day for her and I can’t imagine where I’d be without her in my life” Ashlyn stole a quick look and saw Hannah looking reflective and a little sad. “And yeah, it’s incredible what your life is like when you find that person who you belong with, who you know you belong to. Everything gets better. You’ll see” she smiled at the redhead. “One of these days you’ll find the right person and you’ll feel it for yourself. I just know it.”

Leaving Meg alone in her dorm room with half of her boxes still unpacked was difficult for both Ashlyn and Hannah. None of the other students were due to move in until Labor Day weekend a month later and the dorm was eerie and empty. The soccer program was organized and efficient and the incoming freshmen who would be trying to make the team had been paired up together, most in the same two dorms. Meg’s roommate wasn’t arriving until the next morning, which the redhead thought was crazy. The team was going up to The Academy on Sunday afternoon for the penultimate 7th week of camp that summer. It would be part of their training camp and preseason schedule and Meg was excited as hell about it. The first preseason game would be played in exactly one week, Friday August 9th down at the University of Connecticut, the day after their week at The Academy finished.

Hannah was going to fly back up for that game, and all of the others as well. She had always been incredibly supportive of her daughter’s athletic endeavors and she certainly wasn’t going to stop going to her games now. Of course, Meg had to make the team first, but that wouldn’t be finally determined until the preseason was over at the end of August. There were 6 games scheduled and Hannah wasn’t going to miss a single one. Her plan for the future, at least as far as Meg and her soccer were concerned, was to fly up to Boston for the home games and stay in a hotel. She would do the same for the away games. For Meg’s sophomore year Hannah would lease or buy a condo in Boston instead of relying on hotels. She didn’t want to get ahead of herself or jinx anything by committing to real estate before Meg actually made the team, so hotels was the answer for freshman year.

How much time Meg spent with the Kriegers either in Boston or Cambridge or at the big old house in Gloucester was going to be up to her. Ashlyn and Ali had already talked about it and decided that, as hard as it would be, they were going to let Meg decide what she needed and when she needed it. They made sure she knew that she was more than welcome to come home any time she wanted to and for any reason. Hell, there didn’t even have to be a reason. And they promised her that they would do their best not to smother her or get in her way. It would be difficult, but Ashlyn and Ali and Hannah too for that matter, were going to let Meg do her own thing and make her own decisions and live her best college life. They had spoken with the grandparents about it as well, hoping to get them on board with the plan too. But, in true grandpa fashion, Ken Krieger said he would do the best he could but that he couldn’t make any promises. All of the grandparent replies had been similar. They all had their own plans to attend Meg’s games whenever the team travelled anywhere near them. Boston College played in the Atlantic Coast Conference, the ACC, and that meant they played the following teams:   
Clemson  
Duke  
Florida State  
Georgia Tech  
Louisville  
University of Miami  
North Carolina  
North Carolina State  
Notre Dame  
Pitt  
Syracuse  
Virginia  
Virginia Tech  
Wake Forest

They also played other games outside of the ACC but most of those were much more local, like Harvard University, Boston University, the University of Connecticut, and St John’s – just as some examples. Different grandparents had different dates circled on their calendars for games near them and the whole family was excited about Meg’s next chapter. Ashlyn and the young Krieger family were going to do their best to attend as many games as possible too. The keeper didn’t want to ask her wife if it would be possible for her to attend all of Meg’s away games too. Their schedules were so busy and that seemed like an enormous ask. What Ashlyn didn’t know was that Ali was hellbent on making sure her wife got to Meg’s away games too. 

Ashlyn dropped Hannah off at her hotel and drove the moving truck up to the big old house where they were going to store several boxes of Meg’s things that she didn’t want, or have room for, in her dorm. Both Hannah and Ashlyn knew that Meg would be fine. They knew that the other freshmen in the dorm would find her and that they would start bonding that very night. They knew that the upperclassmen would be there too, for good and bad and everything in between as they initiated the first-timers into the Boston College Women’s soccer program. And they knew that, if all else failed and something really went sideways for Meg, Niki Cross was going to be there as her assistant coach every step of the way. That thought was the only reason Ashlyn had been able to pull the moving truck away from the dorm at all.

“Honey...” Ali cooed as she wrapped her forlorn keeper up in a hug as soon as she hopped down from the cab of the moving truck. 

They embraced in the driveway for a long couple of minutes, the warm August evening surrounding them was thick and gauzy as they held each other close. Ali stood on her tip toes as Ashlyn clung to her, both arms encircling the brunette’s waist and holding on for dear life. None of the kids had joined them yet, distracted by the sweet after-showers time when they tried to get a few more minutes playing their favorite game or watching their favorite show. Ali had slipped out the kitchen door when she saw the moving truck pull up, eager to greet her bereft wife and share a private moment.

“That was so hard...”

“I know baby, I know” Ali squeezed even tighter, wishing she could make her keeper’s heart hurt less. “But, remember, she’s up here now. We can see her a lot more often. She’s finally close Ash.”

“Yeah, I know” Ashlyn nodded and pulled back a bit so she could see the whiskey-colored eyes she needed so much. “You’re right. That’s gonna be the best” she tried to summon up a smile but failed miserably.

“Oh, you’re so sad sweetheart” Ali kissed her lips softly and cupped her cheek with one hand, tilting her head and frowning as she took in the sight of her broken-hearted wife. “What can I do?”

“Mama!” Dodge yelled from the open mudroom door before sprinting across the driveway and crashing himself into the hug his moms were still sharing.

“Yay! Mama’s home!” Josie followed, her short, flowery summer nightgown billowing behind her.

Ashlyn couldn’t have come up with an answer for her wife if she had tried. But the answer was all around her. The keeper couldn’t help but smile as her family welcomed her home. Every hug and kiss helped her aching heart. It took another minute for Lily to get there, hobbling along on her crutches with Drew helping her fend off both dogs who were rushing through the open door to greet Ashlyn as well. The 7-year old had done pretty well on her crutches during their DC vacation. When she got too tired or too hot she gave one of her moms a puppy dog face and got picked up for a short piggy back ride. More often than not, one of the moms slowed down and stayed back with Lily as she moved at her slower pace. It was frustrating for the patient but she also loved the extra attention and one-on-one time she received.

“Logan, easy” Ali spoke sternly to the exuberant puppy. “Good job Drew, thank you for helping” she managed to get out before snagging Logan’s collar on her way to the keeper. 

Persey wouldn’t wander off if she was outside the fenced backyard, but the same could not be said for Logan. She was just finishing her 10th month of life and she was still growing. Logan had been 85 pounds back in April and was a healthy 100 pounds by the end of July. She had done well in training and the whole family had been working hard to make sure to use the right commands, and only the right commands, so the poor puppy didn’t get confused. Instead of taking Logan to a puppy class, then a beginner class, and then an intermediate class as they had done with Persey and Fred, Ali and Ashlyn had decided to use an in-home training program instead. Part of the reasoning was that when Logan started her 6-week puppy class in December the Krieger family was living in fear from Ali’s stalker. Anything they could do at home instead of going out to where the stalker might be – they did. That included hiring a puppy training service that specialized in coming to the house and working with the puppy as well as the whole family to train the dog correctly. By the end of July Logan had successfully completed puppy, beginner and intermediate training and so had the kids and parents. She was a good dog but still a little spastic because of her youth and immaturity. They had all survived her teething, for the most part, and she was turning into the lovable companion Ali had hoped for when she brought her home for Ashlyn’s last birthday.

The family stood there in the driveway, hugging Ashlyn hello and greeting her as if she had been separated from them for years instead of just 2 days. But Ashlyn was the entertainment half of the parenting duo. Ali was the safety and security while Ashlyn brought the fun and excitement. Of course, both moms did all of those things when necessary, but, in general, everybody’s mood was lighter when Ashlyn was around. And that included Ali’s. It was corny but it was true. Ali and Ashlyn were that couple that was just happier and better when they were together. There were documented stories of happily married couples who thrived in their spouse’s presence and suffered when there was a separation of any length of time. Those couples were believed to have found true love and that’s why they functioned better together than apart. One of the most famous of those couples was former president, and actor, Ronald Reagan and his beloved wife Nancy. There were multiple stories written in different historical biographies of the man, and of the couple, about this sort of separation anxiety. Aides and friends and confidants all told story after story of how one of them, either Ronald or Nancy, would mope around while the other was away. President Reagan would often talk about the number of days, or sometimes hours, that were left before he could be reunited with his wife. Some saw it as weakness. Others saw it as the epitome of romance and abiding love. 

Ali and Ashlyn shared that same kind of relationship. They were better when they were near each other and they suffered when they were apart. They were both fully capable of carrying on and working and taking care of their children while the other was away, but their whole attitude and bearing changed once their true love had returned. You could see it in the heart eyes they gazed at each other with. And the family felt it too. The kids were happier and more upbeat and amenable when both their moms were around. They didn’t understand why, or what was going on, but it was happening right in front of them regardless. It had taken Meg until she was 18 years old to see it herself for the first time, and truly comprehend what it was that she was seeing. 

At the end of the DC vacation, Ashlyn and Meg drove Ali and the kids to the airport for their flight back to Boston. They all said their goodbyes before Ali and the kids got into the security line with the two moms embracing last.

“I’m sorry you have to do this by yourself” Ashlyn whispered into her wife’s ear, tickling her sensitive skin with her soft breath and making Ali shudder. “I talked to Drew though, he knows he has to help. And Josie and Dodge know they have to carry their own crap and...”

“Babe, it’s ok” Ali gave her wife’s lips a quick kiss. “I’ll be fine. I mean, it’ll suck, but it’ll be fine” she cringed at the idea of flying by herself with all four kids and Lily on crutches. “We checked a bunch of stuff, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah” Ashlyn nodded, happy to be reminded that there was less crap to carry after checking an extra suitcase full of kids stuff that wasn’t absolutely vital to the plane ride home. “Good point” she smiled and felt her heart race when the brunette grinned back at her. “I love you.”

“I love you too” Ali replied softly and brought their lips together in a kiss that was chaste enough for the public airport but still longer and more intimate than usual.

“Mommy, the line’s moving” Josie tugged on Ali’s shirt with a note of alarm in her voice.

Ashlyn pressed one last quick kiss into her favorite lips and gave Ali her biggest dimple-bearing grin as they pulled apart.

“Fly safe baby. See you in two days” she began the countdown that they would both be running in their heads.

“You too, drive safe, miss you already” Ali smiled and then gave her wife a playful pout. They both knew she was using the joke to cover up the fact that they really did miss each other already.

“Call me when you land...”

“I will...”

They finally released each other’s hand when both their arms were stretched out to full length as Ali moved along with the line and their children. Ashlyn and Meg waited the entire 20 minutes that it took Ali to get the four kids through the security line – it was just common courtesy for the other parent in that situation. You never knew what might happen while they were in line and if there was any way you could assist your wife and kids you most certainly would do so. One time one of the kids needed to use the bathroom urgently and Ashlyn had been there, ready to take them and save the day. They only turned to leave the area once the brunette had given them one final wave, safely on the other side of the security scanner and plastic bins full of people’s belongings.

“You guys are so sweet” Meg commented as she and Ashlyn walked through the airport towards the parking garage to head back to Tenleytown for the night. “I mean, I know you’ve always been like that but...I don’t know, I see it differently now I guess.”

“Oh yeah?” Ashlyn smiled. “What do you mean?”

“Nobody else’s parents do half the stuff you guys do” the redhead shrugged her shoulders as she tried to explain. “Like just now. I can’t think of anybody else who would have done anything more than just a quick hug and a kiss and maybe a wave, especially with the kids all bugging them about the line like that” she thought some more. “It’s really cool that you guys are still so...”

“So what?” Ashlyn asked after Meg paused for a minute to think some more.

“I don’t know, in love I guess” she chuckled. “It sounds dumb when I say it.”

“Ha” Ashlyn laughed and put her arm around Meg’s shoulder as they continued walking, still surprised by the redhead’s height, 5’10”, being an inch taller than her own. “Meggie, I’ll tell you what...it does sound dumb but that doesn’t mean it’s not true. We’ve been teased by our friends and family forever for looking at each other like fools in love. But guess what?”

“What?”

“That’s exactly what we are” she grinned. “And I hope you find somebody who looks at you the way Ali looks at me. There’s nothing better in the whole world than that. I know I can do anything I put my mind to when she looks at me. I feel alive. I feel free. I feel invincible.” She leaned over and kissed Meg’s cheek. “If you keep your heart open and are brave enough to take a risk on love sometime, you’ll find it too.”

“I hope so” Meg smiled and gave the keeper a squeeze. “I hope so.”


	9. Vacation, Scandal & Victory in August

August didn’t go any slower than the rest of their hectic summer had. While Meg and her team were at The Academy, the young Krieger kids enjoyed their final week of different summer camps of their own. Drew went to baseball camp, Josie to music camp, Dodge to football camp, and Lily to science camp which was good because she didn’t have to use her leg for sports there. Ashlyn spent much of the week at The Academy and Ali got plenty of work done from the home office, even making a few trips into her K-H office as she tried to overcome that one last hurdle. 

The next week they all spent at The Academy for the 8th and final week of camp that summer. They enjoyed the fun things that the camp had to offer and hung out with the other coaches’ kids as they did so often. Those weeks were still some of Ali’s absolute favorites, mostly because Sydney was up there with her kids and Whitney tried really hard to get there for the 8th week too. It was kind of silly because the week after camp ended was the annual 4-family vacation and they would all be seeing each other then. But there was something about being together at The Academy and none of them could put their finger on it.

“I think it’s because there are no husbands here” Sydney cackled one evening as they all got together to talk about the day and decompress after the kids were tucked into bed. “And I’m sticking to it.”

“You’re sure it’s not because we’re surrounded by strong young women who are learning to believe in themselves and the empowerment that brings for all of us?” Whitney asked, her eyebrows raised in challenge.

“Nope. Nuh-uh” Sydney shook her head and laughed again.

“I think it’s the atmosphere, the setting...” Niki offered. “You know, being at camp. Camping. The dining hall, the lake...it’s just a great place to be” she shrugged.

“Spoken like the true outdoorswoman you are” Ashlyn chuckled. “Just make sure you check for ticks” she winked and made everybody howl with laughter as they recalled the infamous story of the keeper’s tick trauma.

“I love seeing how far the game has come” Yael Averbuch added passionately, her eyes coming alive as she spoke. “More girls than ever are playing soccer in this country. More girls than ever are getting scholarships to play in college. More girls than ever are learning how to take that next step and make the jump to the professional leagues. More girls than ever are...”

“Discovering that camping in the woods is a good place to experiment with other girls...” Tobin Heath interrupted with perfect timing and made them all crack up again.

It was hard to come up with a definitive answer, so they all stuck with their own reasons for why being together as a group at The Academy fulfilled them in so many ways. They just agreed to the fact of the matter instead of trying to dissect it for the reason why. The one thing they did all agree on was that being at camp was special for each of them and that’s why they continued to make time for it every single summer. Ashlyn and Whitney were constantly receiving calls and emails from former players, current players, and even some current star USWNT players who had reached out to them to come and coach at The Academy for a week during the summer. The Academy grew more popular with campers and coaches alike and their enrollment was already full for the next four years. There were plans to expand their offering starting next year. They couldn’t expand the summer program any more because they didn’t have room for more bodies at the camp and they couldn’t stretch the number of weeks out without running into school schedules. So they decided to offer weekend camps during the year at different locations around the New England area, to start with. If those weekend camps were successful and didn’t turn out to be too challenging logistically, they’d start doing them in other places across the country too. As always, Whitney and Ashlyn and Cat Whitehill were concerned about keeping the integrity of their brand safe and secure. The Academy had a fabulous reputation among the soccer world and nobody wanted the weekend camps to hurt that. 

Ali had suggested getting their old friends, and early business partners, at the defunct Sporting Chic involved with the idea that Kristie Mewis, Sam Mewis, and Stephanie McCaffrey could take the weekend camps idea on and manage it for The Academy. At least for the first year to see how it went. All three women were local again, busy with their husbands and girlfriends and kids. Sporting Chic had lasted for a few years once they branched out and left K-H but it was primarily Kristie’s thing. When she got busy and pregnant it became too difficult to keep it going and they all three agreed to retire it before it started going downhill. They had always thought they would bring it back to life at some point down the road, but they weren’t there yet. Those three friends were a great trio though and Ali knew they would bring their enthusiasm, wit and work ethic to the weekend camps and everyone would reap the rewards.

//

The annual four-family vacation had changed a bit over the past few years as the kids got older and busier and less interested in spending a full week up at the New Hampshire lake house. Ryan Flanagan’s professional lacrosse team kept getting better and better and playing later into the playoffs so he missed a lot of the vacations. Dom’s schedule was easier to control but he had been promoted to head trainer and he had to cover for the rest of the staff if anybody had an emergency and had to miss a shift. That meant travelling to away games with no notice sometimes. It didn’t happen very often, but enough so Dom missed half of the vacation week this year. Niki’s preseason schedule had changed as well and her vacation time had been limited for the last couple of years. She was travelling with Meg and the rest of the team to William & Mary in Virginia this week. Their third preseason game had been the first Sunday of vacation and then they were coming back for the first home game of preseason the Friday night of vacation. If Niki was lucky she could drive up to the lake house on Tuesday evening and stay for part of Wednesday.

Ali and Ashlyn were the only couple who had consistently been able to take the vacation together and they knew how lucky they were. Of course, everybody felt bad for whomever couldn’t make the trip, but they all kind of suffered for it. Instead of having 8 able-bodied adults to handle whatever the kids threw their way, they were often down to 5 or 6 instead. Everything was more difficult that way. But then the number of kids was lower too. Not counting Meg who had always been four years older, the oldest 4-family kid was Noah Cross at 14-1/2. He was starting his freshman year of high school in 2 weeks and he was busy at a soccer camp and with his friends and wasn’t attending the 4-family vacation. He was also staying by himself at home for the two nights that Niki was in Virginia. 

“Aren’t you terrified?” Whitney asked Molly when she heard about Noah’s first solo nights at home.

It was Saturday night, their first in the big lake house, and Whitney, Molly, Sydney, Ali and Ashlyn were all gathered on the deck off the kitchen that overlooked the lake. They drank their beer and wine and watched the lights flicker in the different boats and houses around the lake.

“Nah” Molly laughed and waved off the idea. She took a beat and let her friends all exchange puzzled looks as they wondered why she wasn’t nervous. “But only because Niki’s brother is coming by to check on him and hang out tomorrow” she admitted and groaned. “My baby boy staying home all alone...for two nights! God help me. My heart can’t take it.”

Everybody laughed but they were all anxious about it. They knew their own time was coming sooner than any of them was ready for. Cassius Dwyer would be next. He was a month shy of 13 and going into 7th grade this year. His mid-September birthdate meant that he would forever be one of the oldest kids in his class and he had hated it at first. But then he grew to appreciate the power that came with that position. Then came Drew. He was starting middle school this year and Ali was having a really hard time accepting that fact. Usually it was Ashlyn who freaked out about the passing school years each September, but something about her sweet boy Drew being a 6th grader totally crushed the brunette’s soul. 

And the second-born kids weren’t that far behind anymore either. Evan Cross was 10-1/2 that summer, and Josie Krieger was 9. James Dwyer and Penny Cross were both 8-1/2, Dodge and Lily Krieger were 7, Maddox Dwyer was 6-1/2, and the Flanagan kids, Becca and Tommy, were 5-1/2 and 3 years old respectively. There were no more babies, even though Tommy technically qualified because he still napped and wasn’t potty-trained yet. Everybody called him ‘the baby’ as if he was the only one there had ever been. 

“Just be glad you didn’t have to bring him to college already” Ashlyn added, face still looking sad about the subject.

“Aww, poor Ash” Whitney said sweetly. “Cheer up though, you get to see her Friday night, right? We’re still going to the game, right?”

The first preseason home game was that Friday night and Ashlyn and Whitney were driving down with Cassius and Drew to watch it. BC played their home games at The Newton Soccer Field which was located in Newton, Massachusetts. BC was technically located in Chestnut Hill, MA which was a part of Newton, MA. It was only 6 miles west of Boston and easily reached by the Green Line on the mass transit system. Molly, Sydney and Ali had agreed to let Ashlyn and Whitney go to the game but they had to bring at least two children with them. That was the deal. 

“Yes we are” Ashlyn’s face lifted at the thought. “We’re taking Drew and Cash” she announced to the group, making their child choices known for the first time.

“Oh hell no” Sydney shook her head and wagged her finger at the keeper. “If you take the two easiest then you absolutely have to take a third. No way are you getting out of here otherwise.”

“Fine” Ashlyn looked quickly from Ali to Whitney, trying to see if the new rule would actually be enforced.

“Don’t look at me” Ali laughed. “Syd’s right.”

“Evan would love to go with the boys” Molly offered, knowing how much her son looked up to both of the older boys. He had often been left behind with Drew by Cassius and Noah Cross. But without Noah there, things were more equitable among the oldest boys. “You don’t have to, but...”

“No, that’s perfect” Ashlyn grinned.

“Are you sure that’s ok?” Whitney turned to Sydney, knowing that the two youngest kids of all, the Flanagans, would be the toughest to handle of the whole bunch.

“It’s fine Whit” Ali patted her arm from the seat next to her. “You guys are gonna have a long night. I think things are more than fair.”

Ali was probably right. The 2-1/2 hour drive from the NH lake to Newton, MA wouldn’t be easy with the three boys. At least not on the way there. They would surely fall asleep on the drive back to the lake house though, arriving at midnight or thereabouts.

“You can change your mind about going you know” Molly suggested, realizing herself what a pain the trip might turn out to be. “You can even wait until Friday to change your mind. Nobody will judge you” she giggled.

They all knew Ashlyn wouldn’t cancel the trip. She was going to Meg’s first home game, even if it was just a preseason game, no matter what. The keeper loved to go to all of her kids’ games and was a vocal fan and supporter when she wasn’t coaching. But everybody knew that Ashlyn was more excited about Meg playing Division 1 college soccer than she herself could even express. Part of it was that Meg was a keeper, just like Ashlyn. And part of it was that Meg was really good, just like Ashlyn – but not nearly as good as Ashlyn had been. By the time Ashlyn Harris had been a freshman in college she had already achieved glory with the US National team’s youth program. In August of 2002 she won the Women’s World Cup with the U19 team at the age of almost 17. It was the first World Cup title for any of the women’s youth programs in the US. Then she captained the U19 team two years later when they finished in third place in the 2004 WWC. There was a reason Meg hadn’t been called in to any US National team camps up to that point. She just wasn’t quite good enough to compete at that national team level. But she was definitely good enough to excel at the Division 1 collegiate level and Ashlyn knew it. She knew that Meg could achieve greatness in college and make the move to the pros if she wanted to. That in and of itself would be a major accomplishment in anyone’s book. Just ask Ali Krieger.

//

In the last week of the summer, the week after the 4-family vacation and before the first day of school, Ali and Ashlyn tried not to schedule anything for the kids or themselves. They typically used the week to decompress from the hectic summer, fun as it always was, and prepare, both emotionally as well as practically, for the start of another school year. This year Ashlyn spent two rainy days that week watching all of the Shark Week shows on the DVR with her kids. They each paid different levels of attention to the shows but Ashlyn didn’t care. She camped out on the big ‘L’ shaped couch in the front living room and was in her glory. She had all four kids and both dogs sprawled on and around her and she loved every minute of it. Drew, the biggest scaredy-cat of the bunch, kept his eyes on his iPad game for much of the time, peeking up at the dark water on the tv screen occasionally and hoping not to see anything too terrifying. Lily asked a million questions, and always had when it came to shark week. She wanted to know everything about the sharks and their poor victims, even crying when a baby seal or some other creature was devoured right before her eyes. Dodge kept a running commentary going of loud shouts and whoops and hollers whenever he was surprised or excited or frightened by anything he saw. Josie was mostly quiet, only her expressive eyes revealing exactly how scared she actually was. Ashlyn watched the kids almost as much as she watched the tv. 

Even Ali joined them for some of it, but she was busy trying to handle an unexpected problem that had arisen at Knight-Harris and didn’t have the relaxing week she had hoped for. She spent much of her time in the home office above the garage on conference calls and video meetings with an important client of theirs in Chicago. One of the K-H agents, Courtney Davidson, had been having an affair with the client and the media had just caught wind of it. The agent, Courtney, was in her late 20s and happily married to her college sweetheart. She and her husband were based in the Windy City where she took care of several K-H clients in the area. One of those clients was a 24-year old gymnast, Harley LaVaughn, who had just recently been part of the gold-medal winning US women’s team at the 2028 Summer Olympics in France. She had been the oldest gold medal winner, at 22 years of age, since Aly Raisman had done the same thing back in 2016. Aly’s May birthdate gave her the edge and allowed her to keep that title all to herself by approximately 4 months.

Courtney had only been working with Harley for 2 years – she had been hired specifically to help with the post-Olympics surge of popularity and sponsorship opportunities in Chicago, and both women were of legal age. The gymnast was single and had kept her romantic life separate from all of the publicity she had sought and received after her Olympic success and in the two years since then as she travelled the country talking to young people about believing in themselves and dreaming big. There really wasn’t anything wrong with the two women having a relationship except for the fact that the agent was a married woman. That was bad. No bones about it. But a lot of people got married young and didn’t realize their mistake until later. It wasn’t an uncommon experience in the world and certainly not in the United States. Courtney had been honest with her husband, whom she described as her best friend, and he had agreed to a divorce. He was devastated but he understood that his wife would have done anything rather than hurt him if she could. He was able to understand that perhaps they should have always been best friends instead of making the relationship romantic in the first place. The only thing he blamed Courtney for was not figuring herself and her sexuality out sooner.

The problem with this particular romance, regardless of how genuine and mutual it was, was that the gymnastics community as a whole had just climbed up out of a deep, dark hellhole of scandal where people in positions of power had taken advantage of and abused the girls. It had started with the exposure, finally, of the horrific sexual abuse that had gone on for decades at the hands of team doctors and right under the noses of seemingly indifferent team officials. Girls had complained and told their stories for years, only to be shushed and shamed and told they didn’t matter. 

Aly Raisman herself had been a loud and aggressive voice back in 2017 when the pedophile doctor had been tried for and convicted of his crimes. She continued to use her voice against US Gymnastics, gradually gathering other voices of famous and beloved athletes and celebrities along the way, until she forced the change that was so necessary. It was only when the stark realization that almost every single young girl that had shone so brightly on the Olympic stage for Team USA gymnastics had been sexually assaulted for years by the team doctor that people in America woke up and accepted that grim fact. Everybody loved the women’s gymnastics team. There were always 5 or 6 gymnasts on the team and they all had such great stories of working hard and sacrificing so much to achieve their goals and stand on those podiums to accept their medals. There were so many different events during the competitions that every sports fan or Olympics junkie could find one of the girls or one of the events and latch onto it for the duration. Everybody loved the women’s gymnastic team. And when it became impossible to ignore the sheer number of girls that had been abused over the years, change had come. It hadn’t come quickly but it had come with a fierce fury that befitted the strength and gritty determination of the young female athletes that made up USA Gymnastics.

2028 was the first year the USA had won the Team gold medal in women’s gymnastics since all of that gut-wrenching acceptance and change had taken place. Those 2028 gymnasts held a special place in the hearts of all sports fans and Olympics junkies alike. Americans were always proud when their athletes won gold medals – always. But there was a fervor and adulation that surrounded the 5 young women who had won that gold medal in 2028 that nobody had ever experienced or seen before. The whole country was wildly protective of them. It was sweet and well-received for the most part, but, as always, some of the fans were a little crazy and took things too far.

Courtney and Harley were living together in Chicago and doing well in life and work and love. Courtney took excellent care of her girlfriend and client as well as several other athletes under contract with K-H. Her two years with the company had been good and productive for both employer and employee. Harley had been on a whirlwind tour of the states during the year after the Olympics and 2030 was the first time she had been able to slow down a little bit and try to decide what she wanted to do next. All of the many times the two women had been seen and photographed together in public had gone without notice because of their working relationship. Nobody questioned why they were always together and staying in the same hotel and going to the same places. But once Harley slowed down it became obvious that there was more to the pair than just work. They didn’t try to hide that they were a couple, but they were very discreet about it too. There were no public displays of affection, and certainly no kissing or canoodling for anybody’s prying eyes. They maintained a very respectable, private romance that only their closest friends and family knew about. That had been part of the problem.

“Courtney, you’ve got to be kidding me!” Ali’s voice rose over the video conference call she was on one afternoon that last week of summer. “How did you not tell us about this?!”

“I didn’t realize it was any of your business” the agent replied evenly, trying to stay calm as her anger rose.

“Court, listen” Jennifer Tucker, the lead agent who was the main liaison between the agents and upper management at K-H, tried to interject before things got out of control. She knew Ali Krieger very well and had worked with her since the very inception of Knight-Harris. Jen was Whitney and Ashlyn’s friend from UNC who had been the very first agent hired by K-H. She knew what Ali was trying to get at even though the headstrong young agent didn’t. “We’re not saying there’s anything wrong with you dating Harley, we’re just saying that we should have known about it so we could have helped avoid this mess right now. That’s all.”

“I don’t care who you’re sleeping with” Ali tried again, voice still more shrill than she wanted. “I mean, obviously as long as it’s not anybody underage or...oh hell, you know what I mean” she huffed, annoyance easy to see on her face. “But you know how sensitive the gymnasts are. We’ve had entire meetings about it! How to handle it, what kind of questions to let the press ask and the girls answer. God, we’ve spent so much time on this issue and we’ve all done such a great job – including you...” she paused and took a breath while the other three women on the call watched and waited.

“Ok, so what do we do now? What are we going to say and how are we going to say it?” Marcy Hopkins asked, always ready to keep things moving and headed in a productive direction. 

“How’s Harley?” Jen asked. “Is she ok?”

“She’s fine. She wants to just release a statement and put it on her social media...”

“And on Knight-Harris social media” Ali added quickly.

“Of course” Courtney acknowledged the woman she had respected and admired for two years. “Nothing too dramatic. Just something acknowledging the love and concern from the fans but basically telling them that she’s happy and healthy and in a committed relationship and she’d like to continue to keep that part of her life as private as possible.”

“Committed relationship huh?” Jen winked and chuckled, lightening the entire conversation without even meaning to.

“Yeah” Courtney blushed and grinned. “I guess so” she shrugged. “I love her.”

“Alright” Ali sighed, smiling herself at the lovestruck look on Courtney’s face. “Let us work on it and we’ll get you something tomorrow, ok Court?”

“Thanks Ali. And I’m sorry.”

“Hey, I’m happy for you, for both of you” the brunette smiled warmly at the agent. “I just wish we could have gotten in front of it so this part wouldn’t be so awful for you. That’s all” she referenced the hate messages that Courtney had been getting non-stop for the past couple of days as the story blew up and took on phantom, scurrilous facts of its own, often painting Courtney as a predatory lesbian who cheated on her husband and sullied the spotless reputation of one of America’s sweethearts in the process. “But we’ve got your back. Are you guys safe?”

“Yeah, we’re at her parents’ house. It’s gated and they called in security. We’re trapped, but we’re safe right now.”

“Stay that way” Marcy gave the younger woman a serious look. “Ali can we meet tomorrow morning and finalize this? I’ll get it started in here this afternoon.”

“Ummm, yes” Ali swallowed hard and dropped her eyes just for a split second before lifting them again and looking confidently at the three other faces before signing off. “I’ll be there. We’ll get this all cleaned up. Tell Harley we said hi and to hang in there.”

The brunette kept a positive attitude the rest of the night and all during her commute into the Cambridge office the next morning. She was going to go to her office and she was going to sit at her desk and she was going to keep her mind focused on work and that was just how it was going to be. She had garnered all of her strength and willpower to make it so.

“So what happened?” Molly asked when she finally arrived at the restaurant in Boston where Ali and Sarah had been waiting for about 15 minutes that afternoon. “You know I always love hooking up with you gals but this was some short notice” she chuckled as she kissed each woman on the cheek and sat down, winded from hustling.

“I don’t know” Ali groaned and shook her head dejectedly. “I just can’t do it. I can’t fucking sit there without...without...” she let her words trail off because even her mouth didn’t want to deal with the problem.

“Without what Al?” Sarah’s soft, thoughtful voice reached Ali’s ears at the same time her comforting hand rested on the brunette’s forearm. 

Molly knew the answer but she wasn’t sure if Sarah did or not and she didn’t want to share Ali’s troubles for her. The three women had continued meeting in the city after work, or, on days like today, in a more spontaneous way when one of them found themselves in the area with time to kill. Molly Cross and Sarah Warren had become very good friends over the years and that friendship pleased Ali a great deal. Even though she and Sarah had ended their relationship 14 years ago, Ali still wanted people to appreciate her ex-girlfriend for the wonderful, warm, funny, smart woman that she was. She really liked when people recognized how great Sarah was. Adding Ali into the friendship had happened organically, initiated by Molly but accepted by both Ali and Sarah. They’d been getting together and enjoying each other’s company for years now and nobody in their whole group of extended friends could even remember that Ali and Sarah used to sleep together. They’d been friends for 15 years and only one of those years had been a romantic relationship. The platonic friends years far outweighed the other.

“We’re here for you” Molly rubbed the brunette’s other shoulder gently while they waited for her to get up the courage to finish her sentence.

“Without thinking about Ashlyn almost dying right there...in that very room” she whispered, barely audible over the mid-afternoon noise filling the restaurant around them.

Sarah and Molly exchanged a quick, worried look and kept trying to comfort their friend.

“But she didn’t Al...you know she didn’t” Molly asserted softly.

“I know” Ali sighed and gave them both a watery smile before tilting her head up so the tears would have a harder time spilling. “It’s silly” she tried to laugh it off as she ran a finger under each eye to make sure no tears escaped.

“It’s not silly at all” Sarah’s voice was serious. “It’s scary as hell. I don’t think I could do it either.”

“I know I couldn’t do it” Molly chuckled. “I’d set up shop in the bathroom before trying to work in that office again” she laughed. “Who runs that company anyway? What kind of bitch won’t let you move your damned office?”

“I know, right?!” Ali laughed too, a hearty laugh that came from deep in her chest. “God, I needed that laugh. Thanks guys.”

“Don’t thank her” Molly nodded at Sarah and rolled her eyes. “She’s all serious and moody over there. I’m the one who made you laugh. Let’s get it straight.”

“Why do we keep her around again?” Sarah deadpanned, shaking her head at Molly. “No, seriously, why do we even invite her anymore?”

Once the ice had been broken about Ali’s troubles with her office, the three women talked for almost an hour about possible solutions and potential causes for the continued issue. Both Sarah and Molly knew that if Ali Krieger had put her mind to something and couldn’t get it done, then that was one hell of a problem that wasn’t about to get fixed easily.

“I’ve been working with Mattie, my therapist” she spoke the last part directly to Sarah because she talked about things like this with her far more infrequently than she did Molly. “I don’t know” she shrugged. “I can’t seem to get past it and it’s really starting to piss me off.”

“And you don’t want to move offices because you don’t want Whitney or Jared to have to go through a big move” Molly reiterated. “Which is totally silly and you know it” she quirked her eyebrow at the brunette.

“They’re both picking up a lot of my slack while I’m working more from home. The last thing I want to do is add to that by asking one of them to pack and move their entire office” she defended herself but without any fight in her words.

“I still think you should take Ashlyn’s office” Sarah countered. “You can keep Hilary’s office as the ‘founding partners’ office” she used air quotes the way Ali had when she had explained it to them earlier in the conversation, “and you take Ash’s or vice versa, whatever. Why haven’t you done that yet?”

“I don’t want to take Ashlyn’s office” Ali shook her head definitively. “It’s complicated...but she already feels like she doesn’t work there enough. If I take her office I think it’ll make that feeling even worse for her. She really has no idea how important she is at Knight-Harris. She thinks we just humor her and give her things to do to keep her busy” Ali chuckled but there was sadness in her voice. “I’m not taking her office from her.”

“You’ve repainted already right? What about redecorating and moving everything around in there? Really change it up so it doesn’t look or feel the same” Molly suggested, her face animated and optimistic.

“We repainted and got the new door and the new carpet...” Ali began carefully.

“Those are such random things to get new” Sarah laughed quietly and studied Ali’s face. “Why just those two things?”

Molly shot the architect a hard look but it was too late.

“Oh, umm...” Ali honestly couldn’t remember how much she had shared with Sarah. She wasn’t sure how much Molly had told her either. “Well, the door had a big hole in it from the...bullet” she felt her tongue heavy and thick in her own mouth as she spoke the words. “And the carpet...” she looked down.

“They couldn’t get the blood out of the carpet” Molly finished for her, quickly and quietly. “Ali’s blood.”

All three women sat there silently for a few minutes. Thoughts of Ali’s blood staining the carpet and Ashlyn’s arm taking a glancing blow from a bullet filled their heads and made them feel sick. Ali cried about it with Ashlyn later that night when they had some time to talk about it without so many little ears around.

“Shhhh...it’s ok baby” Ashlyn pulled her wife into her chest as they sat side by side on the couch in the family room after putting the kids to bed that night. She knew something had been bothering Ali all night long but the brunette had refused to talk about it. “I’m right here. And you’re right here. And the kids are upstairs sleeping and the dogs are right here too. I can smell Persey’s ass all the way over here” she tried to lighten the mood a bit and got a weak chuckle from her wife. “Everything’s ok now honey. We’re good. I love you so much Al...” she choked a bit as her emotions hit her, even after the joke.

They sat like that for several minutes as Ali cried and Ashlyn held her, pressing soft kisses into her head and caressing her arm and back to try and soothe her. Finally, the brunette pulled back and sat up, turning her tear-streaked face to her keeper.

“I feel like a failure. I feel like we’ve taken back so much that Emily ruined and it’s been hard but it’s been good. You know?”

“I do know. It was hard and still is sometimes” Ashlyn nodded thoughtfully. She had her own demons to deal with about that awful night in December. “But I feel so hopeful about it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, there are days when I wanna just crawl in a hole and tune everything out. Those hard days...when I make it through them, I feel like I just won the Championship again” she smiled but it was tinged with sadness. “I wish you could feel that way too. I know you feel guilty and all of that stuff. I don’t think you’ve ever felt that high, that victorious high about this yet. For your small victories I mean. All the victories count you know.”

“I feel like I failed. And then I feel angry and then I get upset at myself for letting the anger in...and it just goes around and around...” Ali dropped her eyes again and Ashlyn took both hands and held them in her own, turning her body more sideways to face her floundering wife.

“How long did you sit at your desk there today?”

“Ummm...I don’t know, I got there at 9:30am but then went to the conference room for the meeting at 10:30am so an hour...then we went to lunch after the meeting and I came back and sat down again at 1:00pm” she chewed her bottom lip as she calculated the time in her head. “So an hour in the morning and then I only lasted until 2:15pm...” she furrowed her brow, disappointed in herself. “So 2 hours and 15 minutes. For fuck’s sake” she fumed. “Why’d you make me do that? Now I’m even more mad.”

“Honey, listen...” the keeper was surprised by how angry her wife had gotten so quickly and regretted her attempt for a couple of seconds before getting herself back on track. “Do you remember when you told me your story, down in Satellite Beach, in the grotto?”

“My story of fucking Emily fucking Quindlen and how she ruined my life back then too? Yes I do” she spat out, anger still right on the surface of her emotions.

“And when you were finished you got mad at me because I asked you how long you had been single and off the market, remember?”

Ali thought back and did indeed remember the pang of hurt she had felt when Ashlyn asked her that question. She had interpreted it as the keeper being judgmental about how long it had taken Ali to get back on her feet and come back to join the living again after her final break up with Emily.

“Yes. I remember” Ali replied softly and squeezed her keeper’s hands.

“I was so scared I had just fucked everything up” Ashlyn chuckled at the memory. “You had finally opened up to me and shared that incredible story and before even a minute had gone by, I pissed you off. That was the very first time I got your ‘I hate your fucking guts’ face and it scared the shit out of me” she laughed.

“Ok, so where is this going?” Ali’s face softened and she blinked up at her keeper.

“Ok, so do you remember what I told you then? That I wasn’t surprised by how long it had taken you to get over all of that...crap” she paused and waited for Ali to meet her gaze before going on. “I was surprised that it had ONLY taken you that long to come back to life again. Remember?”

“Yeah, I do” Ali’s sad face allowed just the slightest smile to crease the corners of her mouth as she looked into beautiful tawny hazel eyes that were looking back at her with nothing but love and admiration in them. “It’s still one of the sweetest things anybody’s ever said to me.”

“This is the same thing sugarplum” Ashlyn squeezed her hands again, eager to make her point. “You think 2 hours and 15 minutes isn’t long enough and the rest of us are thinking - holy shit, how did she manage to sit there for all that time.” 

“Really?”

“I promise you” the keeper smiled again and moved one hand to rub Ali’s upper arm. “And, here’s the other thing I’ve been thinking about...”

“You’ve been thinking about me and my office?”

“Well, yeah” Ashlyn shrugged. “I know it’s bothering you. I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”

“God, I love you” Ali shook her head in wonder at the most thoughtful woman she had ever known. She leaned across and gave Ashlyn a soft kiss. “Tell me.”

“Remember how hard it was when Gram died? I mean, you were working on your MBA and I was a complete mess and I didn’t think we were ever gonna get through that year in one piece” they shared a knowing look and smiled softly at each other.

“But we did.”

“Hell yes we did. And I’ll never forget what you said to me that New Year’s Eve. We were down in Miami and we took our walk on the beach right before midnight...”

“I told you it felt like victory” Ali smiled. “It felt like we had just won the battle against that year and that we should get a trophy to hang on the wall or something like that.”

“Yep” Ashlyn grinned at her beautiful wife and felt her heart fill with love and admiration for her. “You said ‘2018 tried to take us down and we didn’t let it’. I’ve never forgotten that.” 

They shared a long look.

“And that’s how I feel about last year. I don’t know which was harder, 2018 or 2029, or if we should even compare the two, but we fucking survived them both. Not only did we survive last year, but we got our kids through it too” her eyes were wide at the thought. “We crushed it baby. And I think, in time, you’ll see it that way too.”

“Even if I can’t ever sit in my office again?” Ali’s voice was tentative as she looked to her wife for an answer.

“Fuck that office. We’ll move the whole goddamned company if we need to. I don’t care about any of that. I know you love your office honey, but it’s just an office.”

Ali felt the words deep inside her brain, taking root and spreading along the nerve-endings there like wildfire. She saw the love and devotion and conviction in her wife’s eyes and knew she would do exactly that for her if she thought it was the solution. Ashlyn would move the entire company if it meant Ali could find peace at work again. The brunette felt her stomach flip flop as those butterflies fluttered for the millionth time during her life with Ashlyn. She wasn’t sure exactly what the answer was just yet, but she felt more motivated than ever to find it and make a change and get on with the rest of her life. Ali was ready to crush that one last part of last year that had lingered so long into 2030.

“Fuck that office” she repeated as she set her jaw and narrowed her eyes in the face of the challenge. “We’ll crush it, together – ok babe?” she looked hopefully into her keeper’s beautiful face.

“Damn right we will” Ashlyn nodded and smirked confidently back at the woman she loved more than life itself. “I’d love to see it try and stop us.”


	10. New School & New Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning at the end

“Mommy it hurts!” Lily wailed into Ali’s chest as she clung to the brunette and yelled over the sound of the saw blade.

Ali looked quickly at Dr. Comello who shook her head and winked as she kept cutting the walking cast off of the little girl’s leg. Ashlyn’s fear disappeared as she caught the wink too and rubbed Lily’s back from the other side of the examination table in Patty’s familiar office.

“You’re ok baby girl” Ali bent her head and tried to speak loudly enough for Lily to hear her. “It just feels funny, but it’s not hurting you. I promise.”

Lily Krieger had been looking forward to and dreading this day for 3 weeks, ever since her original cast had been replaced by the walking cast that was being cut off of her right at that moment. Things had changed around the big old house for her once she was officially sporting a walking cast. 

“You can walk now Lily, just be careful and don’t do too much” both of her mothers had explained a dozen times in the first day alone.

She had gotten the walking cast between the final week of The Academy and the 4-family vacation up at the NH lake and she wasn’t that pleased with some of the changes it had brought about. For example, she was again expected to get her own things and clean up after herself – just like all of the other kids in the family. The familial maid service had ceased immediately and the girl was none too pleased about it. Lily had always had a bit of diva in her, not in the same way that Josie did, but it was still there. The 5 weeks of full service from her siblings and her parents had definitely gone to her head and she had received a huge shock to her entitled little system when the walking cast entered the scene. Basically, it was the same cast as before but with a small rubber heel at the bottom so she could walk on it. She wasn’t supposed to run or jump around or anything like that. It was just to get her off of the crutches for the last 3 weeks of her recovery and healing now that her leg was stronger.

“But it huuuuurts!!” she sobbed again, letting her lungs go at full throttle and causing Ali to wince as she took the brunt of it.

“Lily, sweetpea...” Ashlyn tried to make herself heard over the saw and the crying. “It’s not hurting you. It just feels...uncomfortable, that’s all.”

“And there we go” Dr. Comello turned off the saw, flipped up the shield covering her face and smiled at the three of them. She pulled the two halves of the cast apart and off of Lily’s pale, shriveled left leg. “Good as new” she grinned and patted the girl’s other knee to try and get her attention.

“Wow! Look at that leg” Ashlyn poked her daughter to try and get her to look at her leg. “I sure have missed it!”

Ali wiped some of the tears off of her daughter’s face and held her as she turned back to face the doctor and her scary-looking leg. She had seen it 3 weeks ago and had carried on just the same way then. Both moms knew today was mostly about dramatics with maybe a little bit of genuine fear thrown in. Having somebody run a saw up your leg was always unsettling if not downright nerve-wracking even for adults.

“There, all done” Ali kissed the side of Lily’s blonde head and smiled encouragingly at her. “Ok?”

“It looks gross” the girl finally announced after studying her leg for a minute. After another several seconds she started giggling. “It looks like a...like a dead snake!”

She laughed even harder and both Ashlyn and Ali joined her, remembering the big, dead milksnake Lily had encountered at her science camp at the beginning of August. The girl had talked about it endlessly for the next three days afterwards and one of the counselors had finally sent a picture of the snake home with her to show her moms. How it had gone from a living, thriving milksnake to a dead snake was anybody’s guess. But that pale, milky-colored fat snake did indeed bear quite a resemblance to Lily’s newly healed lower left leg.

It was Thursday, September 5th and school had been in session for three days. Lily had been upset about starting school with her cast still on, but then brightened at the thought of having all of her classmates sign it. As they left the doctor’s office late that afternoon, Ashlyn carried Lily on her back and Ali had the cast with all those signatures tucked under her arm. One more thing for her collector-girl Lily to hang onto. The brunette rolled her eyes and tried to quiet the voice in her head that was screaming ‘hoarder in training’ at her.

//

Every September was the same mixture of excitement and nostalgia for both Ashlyn and Ali. Thankfully, one of them was usually more excited than the other was nostalgic and sad so they could save them from depression and misery at the thought of their kids growing up so damned fast. This year was Ali’s turn to lose her shit and it was because Drew was going into 6th grade and was officially a middle schooler now. Gone were the safe and familiar confines of the East Gloucester Elementary School for Ali’s oldest son. He now took the bus to the O’Malley Innovation Middle School on the West side of Gloucester and everything was different. School started earlier, home room began at 7:40am and then the last class got out at 2:00pm. The elementary school was less than a mile and a half from the big old house but the middle school was 3-1/2 miles away. The elementary school had been so close that the Kriegers didn’t qualify to take the bus, even if they had wanted to. It was close enough that every once in a while Ashlyn would pick the kids up on foot and they would all walk home together. Once the kids started playing musical instruments and carrying so much extra stuff that became more difficult though. 

“So look at it again on the map” Ashlyn pointed to the iPad screen in front of Drew. “The #7 bus comes down Atlantic Rd. and you can get it up at Bass Rocks Rd” she pointed out the corner on the map. Or the #14 bus stops at Bass Ave and Atlantic Rd down here” she showed him the other stop that was about equidistant from the big old house as the #7 stop. 

Technically Bass Ave was only one block North from Beach Rd but it was a very long block. Bass Rocks Rd was 3 blocks the opposite way, behind the big old house and near the big mansions up at Bass Rocks, but the blocks were much smaller. Drew was having a tough time deciding which bus stop he wanted to use and was trying hard to figure it out.

“The #14 bus comes at 7:08am” Ali added, hitting what she knew would be an important factor in her son’s decision. “And the #7 comes at 7:14am.”

“I think I should take the #7” the 11-year old nodded, finally.

Ali and Ashlyn exchanged small smiles because they were prepared for this outcome.

“You know, that’s a great decision buddy” Ashlyn patted him on the back. “Great job. Although, you know, if it was me, I might do the Bass Ave stop...”

“The #14” Ali supplied the number so Drew wouldn’t get confused with the two similarly named stops.

“Right, the #14” Ashlyn continued, “thanks baby. I think I’d do the #14 at 7:08am just in case I was ever late or something. That way, I could still run up and try to catch the #7 at Bass Rocks Rd if I had to.”

“You can do that?” Drew’s eyes were wide.

“What do you mean?” Ali frowned in confusion.

“You can just...take a different bus?” Drew shrugged his shoulders with his palms upturned like it was the craziest idea he had ever considered. 

Those were the moments that really got to the brunette. Here was her little boy, yes he was 11 but he was still her little boy. He was still just a little kid. Here he was having his mind blown because he had no idea you could switch bus routes if you needed to. It amazed Ali to think about how many things he still had no clue about. And why should he? He’d never ridden a bus to school before. This was all new to him.

“Sure you can” Ashlyn smiled at him, amused and touched by his innocent question.

Ali swallowed hard and fought off another bout of anxiety and emotion about sending her son to middle school in a few days.

“Listen, why don’t we go check them both out tomorrow morning” she suggested with her own shrug. “We can do a little test run and see how they both look and feel. What do you say?”

“You want me to get up at 7:08am to walk to my new bus stop?” Drew made a sour face at the brunette.

The idea of having to get their sleepiest kid up and ready for school an entire hour earlier than ever before was daunting for both moms. They knew it was going to be brutal for all three of them, particularly in the beginning. Drew was not having it either, especially during his last couple of mornings of being able to sleep in.

“You’ll have to be AT the bus stop and waiting for it by 7:08am, at the latest” Ashlyn gave him a serious look. “You can’t miss the bus Drew.”

“Let’s do a practice run tomorrow after you wake up, whenever that is” Ali compromised. She didn’t want him to have to give up his last few mornings of sleep either. It seemed mean. “Then you can decide which bus and we’ll do one real practice run, in real time, whichever morning you want between now and the first day of school, ok?”

One of the best things about the middle school was the way the guidance counselor system worked. In an effort to provide continuity for the students and the parents, the guidance counselors worked with the same kids all the way from 6th grade up through graduation at the end of 12th grade. It was called a loop system and some other schools had found great success with it, so Gloucester had adopted it about 10 years earlier. Ali loved the idea because she had often found it frustrating to have to explain the different quirks of her children to a new teacher every year and sometimes a new principal and sometimes a new guidance counselor too. This way, with the guidance counselor loop system, there was an advocate inside the school itself who would know Drew and be able to help him with whatever teacher or administrator he was having trouble with. She hadn’t said it out loud yet, but Ali was worried about Drew’s anxiety kicking in as he transitioned to middle school. She didn’t want to put the idea in his head if it wasn’t already there, but she really wanted to talk with him and let him know it would be ok if he was a little nervous.

In the end, Drew ended up starting with the Bass Rocks Rd bus #7 at the later 7:14am time, but switched to the earlier and tiny bit closer Bass Ave bus #14 at 7:08am. It took several weeks of questioning by both moms to get to the truth which was that there was a kid at the #7 bus stop that Drew didn’t like and he chose to avoid him. It was as simple as that.

“I never thought of that as something he’d need to think about” Ashlyn shook her head when she and Ali were talking about it before bed one evening. “I keep thinking I’m remembering being his age so clearly” she sighed and chuckled, “and obviously I have no idea what’s going on with him.”

“Well at least he finally told us” Ali let her own anxious sigh out as she pulled her sleep t-shirt over her head. “I mean, it’s a good enough reason. Good for him, right? He knows he doesn’t want to be near that kid so he did something about it. Right?”

“Yes. That’s right” Ashlyn nodded and pulled her sleep shorts up over her hips with a yawn. “It’s high-level problem solving if you think about it.”

“That’s what I was thinking too” Ali’s eyebrows went up in agreement. “It’s a good thing” she nodded and climbed into bed. “And we’ll just keep talking with him. That’s the most important thing. He has to know we’re here for him for the things he can’t figure out on his own.”

“Right. We can’t push too hard either” she quirked her eyebrow at the brunette, knowing that would be an immense challenge for her. “He has to feel comfortable talking to us and part of that is knowing he doesn’t have to talk to us.”

“I know. I’ll try” Ali leaned over and kissed her lips softly. “I swear to God, I’ll try.”

//

That September Josie started 4th grade and the twins started 2nd grade in addition to the two older kids embarking on brand new chapters of their educational lives – Drew in middle school and Meg at college. None of it seemed possible, yet there they all were, figuring it out as they went along. The kids, as usual, seemed less bothered by any of it than the parents were.

“Mommy, what’s arcifal semjination?” Josie asked Ali one afternoon the second week of school after the brunette had picked the three youngest kids up from elementary school.

The twins were watching tv in the front living room and Ali was sitting at the tiny kitchen table sending some work emails out from her laptop when the redhead walked over to her.

“What honey?”

“Arcifal semjination” Josie repeated, enunciating more clearly. “Somebody at school said I was born from that.”

“Oh really” Ali’s heart skipped a beat. “And what did you say?”

“I said I was from you and Mama” Josie shrugged.

“That’s right honey. Mama and I wanted you so much that we got the doctor to help us so I could carry you around inside me for 9 months and give birth to you. And then we brought you home to live here with Drew and us.”

“And Pers and Fred too” Josie added in the dogs that were usually part of the story Ali and Ashlyn had been telling their children their entire lives.

“That’s right” Ali grinned and was relieved to see her little girl smile too. “Was this Franny Higgins again?” Ali brought up the girl who was a year older than Josie and who had proven to be the bane of her existence year after year. She had toned down her physical attacks but Franny was always the one tormenting Josie in other ways, just like this. “Were you upset when she said that to you?”

“Yeah, it was Franny” Josie dropped her eyes and let Ali pull her into a hug from her chair. But she didn’t seem upset. Just curious. “But it didn’t make me mad.”

“Ok well that’s good” Ali kissed her cheek and squeezed her again, painfully aware that this 9-year old girl would be going to middle school soon enough and not welcoming every one of her hugs and kisses anymore.

“So what is it?”

Ali and Ashlyn had explained the artificial insemination process, in general terms, to Drew when he had asked about it the year before. The schools had brought back some basic sex education classes, starting in 5th grade, and the teacher had explained that artificial insemination was used to help couples get pregnant if they needed help, or if the families with two mommies or two daddies wanted to have a baby. Josie was a very curious child and Ali shouldn’t have been surprised that she was ready for this answer now. Meg had been 11 years old when she had walked in on Ashlyn and Ali fooling around on the couch and asked all those awkward questions about sex. Kids were supposed to have lots of questions about it. That was normal and talking openly about sex and their changing bodies was healthy for the whole family. As usual, the brunette just wasn’t ready for it.

“Well” Ali cleared her throat. “Umm...ok, so you know how babies come out of their mother, we’ve talked about that before. Do you remember that?”

“Ah-huh” Josie nodded, idly playing with her mommy’s hair as she stood next to the chair leaning into the loose hug. “From their vagina.”

“That’s right” Ali felt pride well up at her smart girl’s answer. She was pretty sure Josie had already done some research in one of their age-appropriate books about the human body in the half hour that they’d been home from school. “Well, do you remember how some women get pregnant? They have a daddy who gives them a sperm and the sperm goes up into the mommy’s uterus to find the egg. If the sperm finds the egg then they make a baby that stays inside the mommy until he or she is ready to be born.”

“Mmmm Hmmmm” Josie nodded again, clearly familiar with this part of the program.

“Ok good. You’re such a smart girl” Ali gave her daughter a squeeze. “Well, when two mommies want to have a baby, like Mama and I did, we go to the doctor and she helps us by giving us a sperm to use because neither one of us can make one” she shrugged, hoping she hadn’t over-simplified it too much. She really didn’t want to go into all of the details if she didn’t have to. “Does that make sense?”

“But where does she get the sperm from then? If she’s a mommy she doesn’t have one either, right?”

“You’re absolutely right” Ali grinned again and chuckled.

“What’s funny?” Josie looked defensive for a second.

“Nothing’s funny baby girl. I just love you and the way your big brain works, that’s all. It makes me happy.”

Josie liked the answer and swung her body from side to side, just like Ashlyn so often did. She got a bashful smile on her face and looked down as Ali kissed her again.

“So, the sperm comes from daddies who want to help other people get pregnant. They’re called sperm donors.”

“Sperm donors” Josie repeated and the brunette could practically see the gears turning in her mind.

“That’s right. And that process, where the sperm from the sperm donor gets put into the mommy’s uterus, is called artificial insemination” she enunciated the words carefully so Josie could hear them.

“Artificial insemination?” the girl finally repeated, slowly and hesitantly, as she tried to form the big words correctly.

“You got it. Does that make sense?”

“I guess so” the redhead climbed up onto Ali’s lap facing her and forcing Ali to back her chair up to make room for her. She continued to play with Ali’s medium length hair and poke at her collarbone and necklace with delicate little fingers. “But why is it a bad thing?”

“It’s not a bad thing at all honey. It’s one of the most wonderful things in the whole world. If doctors hadn’t come up with artificial insemination, and if sperm donors didn’t donate sperm, then Mama and I wouldn’t have any of you monkeys. And I don’t even want to imagine what our life would be like without you.” Ali studied her daughter’s face and could see she was still thinking hard. “The next time Franny Higgins, or anybody, says anything about it to you you’ll know what a wonderful thing it is and it shouldn’t bother you. It sounds to me like Franny doesn’t really understand what it is. What do you think?”

“Yeah, probably not” Josie smiled and hugged her mother hard for ten seconds and then released her and jumped off of her lap. “She can’t even say it right. There’s no way she knows what it really is.”

There were two things Ali was sure of as she watched her beloved little one skip off into the front living room: one was that Josie was going to practice saying ‘artificial insemination’ for the rest of the afternoon and evening, and two was that Franny Higgins was going to get herself an education tomorrow at school.

//

The BC women’s soccer team played eight games in the month of September: five at home and three on the road. Meg’s first five games in her collegiate career were all in the Boston area. Four of them were at home in Newton and the one away game was at Harvard University in Cambridge. They played that game on the same practice grass field that the Boston Breakers had used for practice before moving to the fancy new stadium that Bob and Jonathan Kraft had built. The memories of her own time on that pitch next to Harvard Stadium made the blonde’s head spin more than once. And now, there was sweet little Meg helping the starting goalkeeper get warmed up before the game. Life was truly fucking amazing. 

Ashlyn was ecstatic about the schedule that month and had almost come to grips with the fact that she wasn’t going to be able to travel to the two away games towards the end of the month when BC played NC State and Virginia Tech. 

“I want you to go” Ali repeated for the third time as she waved the flight confirmation she had printed off in front of her wife’s shocked, frowning face. “That’s why I booked the flight for you. It’s why we’re having this ridiculous argument right now” she dropped her arms to her sides, fed up with her stubborn keeper. “Go or don’t go” she shook her head and turned to leave the room in frustration. “But I don’t want to hear about it again if you decide not to go.”

Ashlyn had decided to go and had apologized profusely to her thoughtful wife, thanking her for making the arrangements for her. She went to the NC State game down in North Carolina on Thursday the 19th and was back in Gloucester the next afternoon. Would she have been happier if BC had won the game and if Meg had gotten some playing time? Yes. But Ashlyn and Ali had always taught their kids how important it was to be a team player and to support the team and your teammates no matter what. And that’s what she was doing for Meg that September. She knew there was no way she’d be able to get to all of her away games, but she was going to do her best and appreciate the times that she could. Like the last game of the month at Virginia Tech on September 27th. She and Ali attended Mia Hamm’s charity golf tournament again, but didn’t extend their trip as long as they had last year. The tournament was on Wednesday again, the last week of September and Ashlyn stayed two extra days and drove up to Blacksburg, Virginia to attend Meg’s game on Friday evening.

There were six games in October, three at home and three away. The first two games of the month were on Thursday October 3rd and Sunday October 6th and they were both being played in Florida. Ali sent her wife on one more trip so she could attend both the Miami and the Florida State games with the rest of the Harris clan. Deb and Mike Christopher were going to both games as well and everybody was excited about it.

“I don’t know if we’ll be able to do it forever, but for right now, I really want you to be able to go to Meg’s games” Ali hugged her keeper after telling her about the Florida trip.

“I want you to be there too though” Ashlyn spoke softly from inside the hug. “It’s not right that I’m always the one who gets to go.”

“I want you to be the one who goes Ash. Meg knows we’d both be there if we could. I’m ok with it” she squeezed her wife and kissed her lips quickly.

“Maybe if they make it to the College Cup in November we can both go to a game?”

“That sounds wonderful babe” Ali smiled and kissed her wife’s lips again. “But you’d better tell the team to start winning some more games first.”

“Good point” Ashlyn chuckled and leaned back and lifted Ali off of her feet. “God, I love you so much Al. Thank you.”

//

Between the Virginia Tech trip and the Florida long weekend trip, Ashlyn made sure to show her appreciation to her wife in her own special way. 

“Oh Jesus...unnnhhh...fuck...” Ali groaned as her keeper pounded the strap-on into her soaked pussy over and over and over again. “Don’t stop...” she gasped out as her whole body moved and bounced in time with Ashlyn’s industrial pace. “Please...don’t stop...”

“Never...” the blonde grunted from her position, kneeling behind her wife on the bed, watching her in the big stand-alone mirror by the side of the bed. Ali’s face contorted and twisted as the delicious pleasure built and built inside her pulsing core with each and every thrust. “Never...”

Ali dropped her head, it was suddenly too heavy for her neck to hold up any longer. She went from supporting her upper body with her hands on the mattress to resting on her elbows as her legs started to slide farther apart. She was losing control and it was all the brunette could do to keep her ass up in the air so Ashlyn could keep pumping hard and fast inside her. When the keeper finally reached around and found Ali’s aching clit with her fingers, they both knew the brunette wouldn’t last long at all.

“Oh my God...mmmmmm...oh yeah...unnnhhh...fuck, yeah...unnnhhh...Ashlyn...oh God...please...”

Ashlyn felt her wife’s body go rigid for a second but she didn’t stop what she was doing. She kept thrusting and rubbing and nibbling on Ali’s sweaty back as the brunette’s orgasm hit her hard.

“Oh my fucking God!” she shouted as she came, her body shaking and jerking as she dropped onto her stomach on the bed with a guttural groan.

“Yes baby” Ashlyn slowed way down and gently kept up her movements inside her beautiful brunette, helping her prolong the high. “You’re so gorgeous, so fucking sexy...I love fucking you like this...”

“Me too...babe...” Ali panted out, her face slack as her cheek rested against the fitted sheet. “Goddamn...that was good.”

Ashlyn kissed her way down her wife’s back, stopping only when Ali pushed her hip back to tell her to take the dildo out. The blonde spent a couple of minutes loudly sucking every delicious drop of Ali’s passion from the strap-on. She put on such a show that the brunette flopped herself over onto her back to see exactly what was going on. She smirked up at her keeper and tried to pull her up so they could cuddle for a minute, but Ashlyn had other plans. She tossed the dildo aside once it was clean and brought her lips to the sensitive skin near her wife’s stomach.

“No, come up here” Ali tapped her chest and gave her keeper a sexy little pout. “Please?”

“No can do hon, sorry” Ashlyn shook her head but couldn’t lose the smile on her face. “There’s a bush down here that is just calling my name” she wagged her eyebrows as she knelt between Ali’s legs and pushed them out wide. “Ah, there it is...the most beautiful pussy in the entire world. All mine...”

Ashlyn lay on her stomach and feasted on her wife’s drenched folds and dripping entrance. She gave Ali one arm to hold onto and wrapped the other one around the brunette’s thigh to hold her in place while she worked her up again. The keeper took her time, pushing aside her own urgent need for release to bring her beloved another orgasm in short order. Ali’s hips bucked wildly as her body responded to the sensual touches and licks. 

“What are you...doing to me?” she asked, her voice hoarse as she gripped Ashlyn’s arm and held it tightly to her own breasts. “Holy shit!” she yelped as a second orgasm broke over her. It was nowhere near as big as the first one but it was a different intensity and made the brunette sit upright with a loud gasp as it rocked through her. “Oh my God...”

Ashlyn slowed down her actions and changed to soft, gentle licks as she cleaned up her beautiful brunette, happy to feel both of Ali’s hands on her head as she looked down at her, still between her legs.

“Mmmmm, so fucking good” the keeper murmured approvingly as she continued her tender clean-up. “I don’t know why I ever move my face from this spot. Do you?”

“Steady now” Ali chuckled as she tried to catch her breath. “You’re laying it on a little thick tonight there All-star.”

“No way, I feel this way every time. I just don’t say it very often” she winked up at her wife and brought her hand up to run through Ali’s short hairs, carefully combing through them and humming her approval. “Mmmmm...I love this. Thanks for growing it out again” she gave her brunette a bashful smile and pressed a gentle kiss to the short hairs that were considerably longer than Ali usually kept them. “You’re too good to me baby. And there’s no way I can ever pass this up now.”

“Oh, I see...it wasn’t doing it for you before huh? Ok, I’ll remember that” she sassed and pinched Ashlyn’s arm.

“You know better than that” Ashlyn smirked again. “But I have no problem reminding you every single time you pull that lame shit on me.”

In what Ashlyn liked to think of as a good thing coming out of a bad time, the keeper had discovered back in early February that she loved Ali’s pubic hair longer. They had been having sex together for 15 years and it was a pleasant and unexpected surprise for the blonde. Neither woman thought there was anything about either of their bodies that could surprise them anymore. But Ashlyn had found something. In January when Ali had gone through her depression, she hadn’t tended to a lot of her personal hygiene matters the way she typically did. She was always clean, but that was the extent of it. Nobody would ever judge her for it. She had been sick and injured physically, emotionally, and mentally and it was all she could do most days to get out of bed. By the time Ashlyn and Ali had sex in early February, the keeper was surprised to see the changes even though she knew, logically, that her wife hadn’t felt well enough to shave anything over the past two months. Her legs and armpits were hairy and she hadn’t bleached the hair above her top lip either. Ashlyn didn’t care about any of that – all she cared about was her wife’s recovery. The first time they had sex hadn’t been planned or Ali certainly would have made sure things were neat and tidy everywhere. The keeper had gotten the surprise of her life when she worked her way down between Ali’s legs that first time in February. The brunette had whined and begged Ashlyn not to eat her out but the keeper had been dying to taste her wife for weeks and had pleaded her case successfully. 

“Wow, this is...”

“I told you” Ali blushed deeply and pushed her keeper’s head away as she scooted back away from the blonde. “Why couldn’t you just listen to me for once?”

“Honey, whoa whoa whoa” Ashlyn reached out for her and pulled her back down halfway to where she had been. “First of all, I was going to say this is sexy as hell” she quirked her eyebrow at her frazzled wife. “You never let me finish.”

“You’re just saying that” the brunette shook her head and rolled her eyes, her cheeks still pink from embarrassment. “Let’s just...do you still want to have sex?” she asked timidly.

“I definitely want to have sex Al. You’re gorgeous and I’ve missed you so much and I need to taste you or I think I’ll die. I know that sounds dramatic but...” it was Ashlyn’s turn to be sheepish and it melted Ali’s heart and helped her get over some of her own embarrassment.

“But what?” Ali cocked her head to the side as she tried to figure out what was the matter with her keeper. “Tell me babe” she encouraged quietly, pulling Ashlyn’s hand up towards her mouth so she could kiss it and hold it close to her chest.

“I don’t know” Ashlyn blushed almost as red as Ali had a few minutes earlier. “Ummm...” she glanced quickly at the thick hair between her wife’s legs and felt her core throb. 

Ali saw her wife’s eyes darken right in front of her and was curious as hell about what was going on with her.

“Honey, what is it?” Ali asked again, finding herself getting worked up just because her keeper was so obviously getting hot and bothered about something very specific. “Please, tell me...”

“I don’t know why I’m making this so weird” Ashlyn chuckled self-consciously. “I guess I’m just a little surprised. Yeah...” she nodded thoughtfully as her hands travelled slowly across Ali’s stomach and down to her thighs, “I think that’s what it is.”

“Well you’re really starting to freak me out so you’d better tell me or I won’t be able to do this...” Ali confessed.

“No, no, I don’t want that” Ashlyn laughed nervously. “If I can’t bury my face between your legs in the next 30 seconds I think I might actually hyperventilate.”

“Really?” Ali looked for reassurance but didn’t push Ashlyn away as the keeper crawled closer to her crotch. “Even though I haven’t shaved or anything in forever?”

“Baby, I’m telling you” Ashlyn’s eyes were darker than Ali could ever remember seeing them and helped ease the doubt the brunette felt even though her keeper was saying all good things. “This is sexy as fucking hell.” Ashlyn’s voice cracked as she tried to explain what she was feeling and why.

“Goddamn...” Ali moaned softly as her wife pulled her back down into place and finally pressed her face into the brunette’s folds. 

Ashlyn closed her eyes and moved her nose from the bottom of Ali’s slit up to her clit. When she got back up to her clit after a few more passes like that, the keeper opened her eyes and the brunette gasped when she saw the raw desire housed in them. There was no denying that Ashlyn was incredibly turned on and she certainly seemed to be enjoying her time between Ali’s legs. Maybe the sweet blonde was being honest about her unexpected, new turn-on.

“Can I?” Ashlyn asked carefully, trying hard to keep her voice steady in spite of how out of control she felt in that moment.

As unsure as Ali felt about it, she couldn’t deny her keeper anything when it came to their sex. She slowly spread her legs out wider and took one last look down to see just how unruly things were. She groaned a bit at the sight of so much thick, dark hair but then Ashlyn had her moaning for other reasons in the next breath and all worries had been washed away. It had taken them a couple of attempts to talk it out after they had given each other orgasms that February day, but eventually Ashlyn convinced her wife that she was indeed incredibly turned on by her longer hair down there. Ali had gone back to her normal shaving routine in March when she had started back to work – it felt like it was time to start a lot of things over and shaving had been one of them. The keeper didn’t bring it up again for a long time, afraid of making her wife feel self-conscious about it. Ashlyn had been honest with her and Ali had chosen to shave again anyway. Decision made.

That is until July when they had begun taking back the ‘Sonnets from the Portuguese’ and spending more time in bed together whenever possible. One night after having sex and reading poetry to each other, Ashlyn had let it slip how much she missed the new-look pussy Ali had teased her with back in February. She tried to make a joke out of it when she realized what she was saying, but Ali saw through it. After another honest conversation it had been decided that, as always, Ali was in charge of her own bush and she would take care of it the way she wanted to. That went without saying but they both said it anyway. Ashlyn assured her that she loved her short hairs no matter the length and nothing would ever change that. And Ali had decided to let it grow out again to reward her keeper for having the hard conversation and being so honest with her about it in the first place. Ali didn’t go full commando or anything, she still shaved her bikini line but she let her hair grow longer for her love. 

And boy did Ashlyn love it. The only thing the keeper might have loved more than her wife’s new-look pussy, was the fact that she had discovered something new and exciting about Ali’s gorgeous body in the first place. Ashlyn would never in a million years complain about Ali’s body. Her brunette was exquisite and the keeper knew it. But the idea that there could have been something previously unknown about Ali’s body that had the capability of turning her on so damned much astonished Ashlyn. She felt like she had been given a rare and special gift. The only problem was she was afraid her own body didn’t have a gift of its own to reciprocate with. Ashlyn challenged herself to be patient and keep an open mind. Hopefully, in time, maybe Ali would find something about her keeper’s body that allowed her the same sense of wonder after so many years. Ashlyn sure hoped so. 

“I told you a long time ago that I’d do whatever you wanted down there” Ali tousled her wife’s hair that late September night after Ashlyn had thanked her for growing it out again. “I meant it babe. I love the way you look at me...at my body. Nothing has ever felt better than that and I can’t imagine anything ever will. And if my bush being...bushier makes you look at me like that then I’m all for it” she blinked sweetly down at her wife who was still playing with the hair between the brunette’s legs as they talked. “I love you Ashlyn.”


	11. Absolutely Terrifying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another time where I'm not sure how much to warn you about. Part of this chapter (near the beginning) deals with mass shootings but it's just talked about - nothing actually happens in the story other than talking about school shooter drills and one shooting that took place near Ali's old house in Stoneham back in 2000. So...there's a spoiler and a warning in case anybody needs it. But don't skip the whole chapter because it's only a small part of it. I promise.

One of the most difficult things Ashlyn and Ali ever had to deal with as a parent was trusting that their children would be safe while they were at school. The idea that a disturbed person would go into an elementary school and massacre 20 kids, all between the ages of 6 and 7 years old, along with 6 other adult staff members of the school, had haunted both Ali and Ashlyn long before they had children of their own. The slaughter of those kids in Newtown, CT back in 2012 was not something either woman had ever been able to process. And the fact that the gun laws hadn’t changed in the years following that horrible tragedy had always outraged them as well. If the citizens of the USA weren’t willing to demand change after Newtown then when would they ever demand it?

By the year 2030 when Drew Krieger started middle school, many of the gun laws had started to change. It had only taken 18 years, but finally, common sense was prevailing. Both Ashlyn and Ali had grown up with guns in their lives. The NH Kriegers were hunters and both Ali and Kyle had handled and fired guns before. Their cousins all grew up hunting with their dad, Uncle Scott, and learning the proper rules and safety procedures that all responsible gun-owners learned. Ali and Kyle had both gone with their cousins on glorified hunting trips too. They weren’t real, full-fledged hunts. Jeff, Jon, and Rachael Krieger would take their cousins to a nearby field to hunt doves once or twice a year. Ali and Kyle always went along but never actually shot anything, just half-heartedly participated as the polite kids they were. Kyle often talked about how hard he tried to miss with his shots from the bb guns that they used to hunt the doves. He was devastated when one of Ali’s shots hit its mark. Both MA Kriegers watched in horror as the beautiful grey dove fell from its perch in the tree to the ground. Ali had sobbed the whole walk home after rushing to the dove to see if it could be saved. Luckily, the poor thing was already dead and out of its misery. The brunette never went on those quasi-hunts ever again. She still felt a knot in her stomach anytime she thought about that poor dove.

Ashlyn’s family had a similar relationship with guns down in Florida when she was growing up. There were extended family members who hunted and owned guns. Luckily, Tammye and Mike Harris were more concerned with spending their money on booze than on guns so the Harris family never owned any guns of their own. Gram always said what a blessing that was and nobody who knew the family ever disagreed. 

Both Ashlyn and Ali appreciated their right to own a gun if they so desired. But they also hated that there were so few regulations in place that could keep Americans safe from the gun-owners who weren’t smart or sane enough to use their guns properly and safely. Ali was practical and level-headed about it but Ashlyn let her passion take over whenever the topic of regulating guns came up.

“I don’t even wanna hear it” the keeper shook her head, scoffing at the lame argument one of the NH Kriegers’ friends had been making at one of the NH Christmas gatherings over the years. “Anybody who hunts with an automatic rifle is an asshole.”

“But it’s so much lighter, and we don’t use it in full auto...” the friend had tried to argue.

“I don’t care” Ashlyn waved him off with disgust. “How much of an advantage do you need anyway? It’s a deer, minding its own business out in the woods, standing still and eating something 9 times out of 10. You’ve got a fucking gun. That’s not enough? It has to be an assault rifle? Really?”

Ali’s approach had always been to argue for better and stricter regulations.

“In Massachusetts we’re lucky. You have to get a license to buy a gun and they do a background check. But so many other states make it easier to buy a gun than it is to drive a car. That’s just ridiculous. I believe in the second amendment but I don’t believe it was intended for automatic weapons. I don’t think anybody but military and law enforcement members should have assault rifles or explosive weapons. That’s the stuff that has to be limited. Defend your home and your property – by all means. But do it with reasonable weapons. If you shoot me with a handgun I’ll be just as dead as if you shot me with an AR-15.”

The biggest change had only come in the past 5 years or so, after the NRA had lost most of its power. Americans had finally started to elect politicians at all levels of government who were willing to stand up to the NRA and fight for smarter gun regulations to keep elementary schools, and society at large, safer for everybody. It had been an incredibly hard-fought battle but things had finally started to get better. All of which was wonderful, but the schools still had to take precautions. 

“Did you see this?” Ashlyn walked into the family room, pale-faced, and slid the notice from the middle school she had pulled from Drew’s backpack across the nook table towards her wife.

“Yeah” Ali nodded, folding clothes with a grim look of her own.

It was early October and the middle school had sent home a notice letting parents know that they would be doing an active shooter drill on Friday that week. The school principal liked to give the new students a month or so to get used to the school before doing the drill. It had proven to be less traumatic and less confusing for the incoming 6th graders that way. 

“I left it in his bag so you’d see it tonight when you were helping him with his homework” the brunette added without looking up. 

The house was quiet, the kids all in bed, the dogs asleep near Ali’s feet. Ashlyn had just come down the front stairs to put Drew’s book into his backpack for the next morning. He had his own books to read for school and the moms took turns reading the same book so they could discuss it with him if he had questions. They both used to read all the books but there just wasn’t time anymore. Not with four kids – all with different reading assignments and chapters to finish each week. Ashlyn was currently working her way through ‘Bridge to Terabithia’ and answering some difficult questions from her shark boy. 

“Yeah, that’s a tough book” the keeper spoke but wasn’t really paying attention to anything other than the notice she had just put on the nook table. “He had lots of questions tonight.”

They were both quiet for a couple of minutes, Ashlyn reaching out to help fold the clean laundry, matching socks up and putting them into separate piles on the seats of two chairs there.

“You ok?” Ali’s voice was flat even though she tried hard to make it tender.

“No. You?”

Ali just shook her head in reply.

They had been through active shooter drills before with all of their young kids and it never got any easier. Ashlyn had shut down for hours when the nursery school had taught Drew how to play ‘the quiet game’ so he might just stay alive if a gun-wielding psycho ever came to shoot up the nursery school. As the kids got a little older, about 7 years old like the twins were that year – in 2nd grade, the game changed to ‘the mad dog drill’. Pretty, young Mrs. Wilson taught her 2nd grade classes what to do if a mad dog ever got loose in the school. They learned where the safe spots were and they practiced being quiet once they got to their safe spot. Students of all ages knew what the Code Red alarm meant. When Code Red was called out over the public announcement system in school, they all knew the school was going into lockdown mode. That meant they had to get to their safe spot fast and stay there until the All Clear was given. No exceptions. The doors were locked, the lights were turned off, the window shades were pulled down, and the students sat silently underneath their desks until the All Clear.

Ali had fallen apart last year when she had to review with Josie what to do if she was in the bathroom when a Code Red alarm sounded.

“What happens if the Code Red happens and you’re in the bathroom, or on your way to the bathroom?” she asked her then 8-year old daughter. It took every ounce of willpower to keep her voice light and engaging so she didn’t freak the poor girl out by revealing how terrified she really was.

“Umm...it depends on how close I am to the bathroom” Josie answered slowly, her mind working hard. “If I’m close to my classroom I go back” she furrowed her brow and nodded. “But if I’m close to the bathroom I go to the bathroom.”

“That’s right sweetheart. Good girl” Ali praised her as they sat together on the spare bed in Josie’s bedroom. “What happens if you go back to your classroom but the door is locked?”

“I run to the bathroom.”

“Excellent” Ali blinked back the tears she was fighting so hard against. “Then what do you do, once you’re in the bathroom?”

“Turn the light off, go into a stall and lock the door...” she paused, knowing there was something else but having a hard time remembering it.

“Where do you stand...?” Ali prompted as she watched her daughter’s slender fingers playing with the rings on her mother’s much bigger hands.

“On the toilet seat!” Josie said quickly, relieved that she had gotten the answer out before her mother had to give it to her. “I always forget that cuz it seems so wrong.”

What had struck Ali so hard that afternoon in Josie’s room was that the little girl thought standing on a toilet seat was what was wrong with the whole fucking scenario. It didn’t faze her that she was hiding in a bathroom for a Code Red alarm. What bothered her was standing on the toilet seat because she had been raised that it was rude to put your shoes on the furniture. The brunette waited as long as she could, and it had been a long 15 minutes, and then ran to the garage office and into her wife’s arms. She cried for a long time before she could even tell Ashlyn what the matter was.

Now, in October 2030, there was another active shooter drill coming up for Drew in a few days. The older the kids got, the less mystery there was to the drills. He was 11-1/2 years old and he knew what real guns were. He knew that the video games he played were fake but that in real life guns were deadly and would kill you. Hell, Drew knew that his own Mama had been shot by a gun just before Christmas. His mothers hadn’t given him too many details but his friends at school were more than happy to give him all the information they had – whether it was true or not. 

Ali had been thinking a lot about guns and shootings that evening. Dr. Mattie Olsen had been trying to help her conquer her fear of returning to her office at Knight-Harris – the scene of the shooting that had almost taken Ashlyn’s life. The active shooter drill notice from Drew’s school had been another gun reference that afternoon. As she had been folding clothes, waiting for her keeper to come downstairs, her gun-addled mind had wandered all the way back to 2013, the first time she had visited the building of one of the worst mass-shootings in the history of Massachusetts. The Edgewater Technologies massacre had taken place in 2000 in Wakefield, MA – the town right next to Stoneham, MA where Ali lived in her small house.

The brunette found all the security in the building annoying at first in 2013. She was trying to bring some literature to an architect’s office in the building and she had trouble with locked doors at every turn. The bathroom doors all had locks on them. The elevators all required keycards. Some of the hallways – the hallways – had locked doors in the middle of them. It just didn’t make any sense to Ali. But she didn’t know the history of the building. Not until she gave up trying to get through any of the locked doors or reaching anybody helpful on the intercom systems spread throughout the building. Only then, as she walked away from the big brick structure, grumbling to herself, did she see the tasteful plaque memorializing the 7 employees who had been murdered the day after Christmas in 2000.

They had changed the name of the building and given it a whole new look, renovating and expanding it in an effort to entice new tenants. It had gone mostly vacant for several years after the traumatic attack, but in 2013 it was full again. Full of thriving businesses that tolerated the obscene amount of locks and doors in hallways that the landlord insisted on keeping in place. There was no way they were going to allow another tragedy to take place in their building. After learning the history of the address, Ali always made sure to call the architect’s office before stopping by unannounced. She thought often about the people gunned down in that building, less than 5 miles from where she lived 13 years later. The gunman had been a co-worker who had shared the same breakroom and bathroom and elevators as the victims. He had been a disgruntled employee – irate that his company was garnishing his wages for the IRS because of his refusal to pay the child support taxes he owed. He had killed a development technician, two marketing and consulting employees, the office manager, two members of the human resources department, and a payroll accountant. He had exacted his revenge and then sat there calmly until the police had arrived to arrest him. 

As she folded small t-shirts and tiny underwear, Ali thought about the guns used by the killer – an AK-47, a 12-gauge shotgun, and a .32 caliber pistol. She wondered how he had gotten the guns. Then she wondered how many 11-year olds at the middle school he could have killed with those weapons. She felt her heart racing at the thought and closed her eyes to try and calm herself. Neither she nor Ashlyn had said anything in a while and she suddenly needed to hear that lovely, high and soft voice she loved so much. As soon as she opened her eyes, her keeper spoke, as if knowing how badly she needed her.

“We should talk to him about it” Ashlyn stated the obvious. “I’ll do it...if you want.”

“No” Ali finally looked up at her wife and gave her a sad but sincere smile. She would never get over how kind and considerate her keeper was – especially when Ali was sensitive about something. Active shooter drills at school made the brunette as upset as anything ever could. “We’ll do it together” she reached out for Ashlyn’s hand and squeezed it once it was in her own. “Tomorrow.” 

//

October ended on a melancholy note with Ashlyn’s NWSL sideline reporter and color commentator career coming to a close after 8 very successful years. She would continue covering the USWNT and the biggest tournaments in the world and that made her feel much better about letting the NWSL portion of her ‘soccer expert’ job title go away. It had been planned out for a couple of years and hadn’t come as a surprise to the NWSL execs or the on-air talent. The NWSL wanted to re-invent itself and take advantage of some newer, younger blood. Ashlyn understood. She didn’t like it. Nobody ever wanted to be told they were old and obsolete and then get put out to pasture. But she understood. 

Ali was livid but, as she had done in the past, she tried not to make a big deal out of it. If her keeper had managed to accept the change gracefully then Ali was going to do her damnedest not to make it more difficult on her wife. And Ali wasn’t the only one who didn’t like the move. The women’s soccer social media networks were ablaze with criticism of the move from all corners of the fanbase. Current players, former players, ooaches, woso journalists, and of course the fans, were all bitching about the NWSL letting Ashlyn go. It was a brewing controversy that reminded the keeper of the upswell of support she had received back in her playing days – when everybody thought she should be playing on the national team. Tobin Heath, who hadn’t said a single controversial thing in her entire playing career, had shocked almost everybody who followed the USWNT by saying that she thought the US would have won the WWC in 2019 if Ashlyn had been playing with them. 

But what most of the onlookers didn’t realize, or had conveniently forgotten, in 2030 was that Ashlyn had become a part-owner of the Boston Breakers. Her ownership of one of the NWSL teams made her commentating and covering the league games a conflict of interest. Anybody that knew the keeper had no doubt that she would always remain neutral and objective – as she did that October as the Breakers made their way through the playoffs and into the Championship game. But Ashlyn didn’t want there to be even a hint of impropriety or favoritism so she started to talk about covering her last NWSL postseason. She tried to prepare everybody and make the transition easier for the league. She and Ali had come up with a plan for Ashlyn to share with her fans exactly what she was feeling as she prepared to cover her last playoff games and then her final Championship Week. It was bittersweet but very effective. 

The keeper flew to Houston to cover the Dash playoff game against the Portland Thorns instead of staying in Boston where the Breakers were hosting their own playoff game against the Vancouver Greys. It nearly killed her to miss the Breakers game, but she knew it was the right thing to do. That travel schedule also meant that she had to miss Meg’s BC game against the visiting UNC Tarheels. The keeper’s heart took a double hit that Saturday in mid-October as she tried her best to monitor both games from Texas. #1 ranked, Shield Winners, Boston beat #4 ranked Vancouver in the early game at 4pm. #2 ranked Houston beat #3 ranked Portland in the 7pm (central time) game that night with Ashlyn on the sideline soaking up all the love from the players and coaches and staff. And BC got their asses kicked by UNC back in Newton, MA.

Ali and her family and friends posted dozens of pictures and videos of the Breakers game, tagging Ashlyn in all of them and trying to include her as much as possible. They went from the Breakers game at the stadium in Boston to the 7pm BC game in nearby Newton and picked up right where they had left off. The irony of it all was that Meg wasn’t even playing yet for the Eagles. She had made the team as a freshman, which was no easy task. She had worked her way up from the #3 keeper to the #2 and would have to step in if anything happened to their starting keeper. Niki Cross, one of the assistant coaches for BC, had confided in Ashlyn that she thought Meg should be starting and probably would be before the end of the season. The coaches wanted to ease her into the college game and let her get acclimated to it before thrusting her into the spotlight.

“Aww babe, we miss you so much” Ali yelled into her phone as she FaceTimed with her wife from the bleachers of the Newton Soccer Field. The game in Houston had just ended but it was an hour earlier there so the BC game was still in the second half. “Here, everybody wants to say hi...”

Ali’s phone was passed around until it finally ended up, after almost 15 minutes with lots of kid chatting involved, in Ken Krieger’s hands.

“That was a nice send-off they gave you down there” he nodded into the phone, pride showing in his grin. “You doing ok?”

“Oh, you know” Ashlyn ducked her head, embarrassed by her normally stoic father-in-law’s sentiment in such a boisterous atmosphere. “Yes. No” she shrugged. “I don’t know” she laughed. “The Breakers looked good this afternoon, I know that much.”

“Yes they did” he nodded again with another grin. “This might just be their year.”

But it wasn’t the Breakers’ year. Championship Week was hosted by the NYC Power that year and Vancouver defeated Portland in the runner-up game the very next weekend after the playoff games. Ashlyn and Ali were there together for Championship Week, the brunette doing everything possible to make sure she could attend as she had promised herself a few years back. The grandparents brigade came through for them as usual – Tammye, Carol and Deb staying at the big old house for the week and taking care of the kids. Ali did her best to be there for Ashlyn that week while at the same time giving her keeper the space she needed to process all the complex emotions she was feeling.

It was a long week but everybody went out of their way to pay tribute to Ashlyn in one way or another. Championship Week had started out on the keeper’s 45th birthday with the runner’s up game. Most of Ashlyn’s friends made the trip to NYC to celebrate her that Saturday night at a huge surprise birthday party. Ali knew about it of course, but she had nothing to do with planning it. About 100 players the keeper had played with and against and helped and guided over the years came together to fete her and it had left the blonde nearly speechless. As was often the case, a lot of those same friends stayed throughout the weekend and into the week, taking advantage of the time to reconnect with former teammates and coaches and friends whom they only got to see during Championship Week each year. 

Lifetime TV did a special send-off for Ashlyn as well. They aired a video of some of her best moments and interspersed it with clips from some of the funniest bloopers and jokes from the whole broadcast team over the years. When it was all said and done, it had been an incredibly emotional week. It was sad and melancholy but also uplifting and enlightening at the same time. It knocked the wind out of the sensitive keeper at least twice a day and she finally just decided to roll with it – letting the tears come when they felt like it. In the middle of the week, during the lull between the two busy and more populated weekends of games, Ali took her wife for a quiet, romantic dinner and then pampered her back at their hotel room. She was hoping to feed her heart and soul after filling her belly and it had worked like a charm. Ashlyn was as relaxed as the brunette had seen her since they arrived 5 days earlier.

“I know it’s the right thing to do and part of me is even...oh, relieved about it I guess” the keeper spoke softly as she shared her deepest thoughts with the woman she loved.

“Relieved?” Ali asked tenderly as she held her keeper from behind, enjoying the weight of Ashlyn’s back pressed into her own front as they shared a fragrant soak in the spacious bathtub of their hotel room. She let her hands wander slowly up and down her wife’s arms and then placed a warm kiss into her long neck. “Tell me.”

Ashlyn spent a long few minutes trying to put words to her feelings without getting very far. When the keeper started to get frustrated, Ali moved her hands to Ashlyn’s stomach and chest and let her massaging fingers relax her again.

“It’s been such a huge part of my life” the blonde continued a few minutes later. “I owe so much to the NWSL” she patted Ali’s hip underneath the water and gave it a long squeeze. “And, I know it’s silly...I’m not going anywhere. I mean, I’m still going to be at all the Breakers games. I’m still going to be doing the Breakers ambassador stuff. I’m still going to be around the league...but it’s just different. I guess it feels like another step back. Like I keep getting farther and farther away from the game itself. I hate that.”

“That makes sense” the brunette continued caressing Ashlyn’s soft, wet skin. “You are getting farther away from the pitch itself. But...just think about it for a minute before you say anything...aren’t you really getting closer to the game this way? Aren’t you going to have a chance to impact the team and the players and the league way more than you ever could before?”

“I never thought about it that way” the keeper considered her wife’s wise words.

“I know you’re not the GM or the coach – but you’re the owner now, and that gives you a lot of power and influence that you’ve never had before. When you put that kind of influence with your popularity and reputation and experience...well, I think it’s an exciting opportunity for you Ash.”

“You always know how to make me see the good stuff, instead of just focusing on the bad stuff” Ashlyn turned her face to the side and puckered her lips until Ali gave her a soft, slow kiss.

“I learned it from the best” the brunette winked at her beautiful wife and gave her another kiss before they settled back into position again. “Now tell me why part of you is relieved.”

“Oh yeah” Ashlyn chuckled. “I don’t know how you make sense of me sometimes” she shook her head and let both her hands find more of her wife’s smooth skin beneath the water.

“It’s easy” Ali giggled. “I speak All-star. Now tell me.”

“Oh it’s not a surprise really” Ashlyn answered after they both laughed at Ali’s joke. “I feel like we’re getting a little bit of our life back” the keeper shrugged. “And not just because my birthday has been taken over every single year by Championship Week” she turned and quirked an eyebrow at the brunette before Ali could even tease her about it. “I don’t want to be travelling for the whole month of October anymore. The kids have so much going on and I hate feeling like I’m missing it.”

“You know” Ali smirked at her keeper, “trading in travelling to NWSL playoff games for travelling to Meg’s games is still travelling. You do know that, right?” she pinched Ashlyn’s nipple and laughed.

“Hey!” Ashlyn leaned forward and gave her brunette a mock horrified look as she protectively crossed both arms across her chest. “You’re mean!” she chuckled and tried to scoot farther away but Ali clamped her legs up against the keeper’s hips and held her firmly in place. “And strong” Ashlyn groaned quietly, giving up her flight just like that. “I always forget how strong you are...why do I always do that?” she rolled her eyes and then blinked lovingly back at her wife. “I love how strong you are...”

“Oh yeah?” Ali smiled slyly, never releasing the pressure from her legs, even as Ashlyn began to trail her fingers down the backs of the brunette’s thighs towards the bottom of the tub. Ali shivered at the contact and felt a throb in her core. “Why don’t you show me?”

//

The Breakers lost the Championship game to the Dash on Saturday October 26th and then BC got bounced from the ACC tournament the very next day in their first game. #1 ranked Duke throttled the Eagles and the only good thing that came out of the game was that Meg got her first playing time of her collegiate career as a second half sub when the starting keeper went down after a rough challenge. Not only did Meg get into the game, but she played freakishly well. Ashlyn chalked it up to a little bit of dumb luck and a lot of not having any time to get worried about anything. Meg had played on pure instinct because she had been unprepared and unhindered by worry because she had never expected to get into the game. Meg knew she had gotten lucky and didn’t pretend otherwise. BC hadn’t played well enough that year to qualify for the College Cup which was played throughout the month of November and was the biggest event in division 1 college soccer. 

The redhead and the rest of the team watched the games from their dorms, licking their wounded pride and vowing to do better next year. Meg expected Ashlyn to come down hard on her for not being ready in that ACC tournament game against Duke. She waited and waited for her step-mother to read her the riot act about it but two full weeks went by without it. Meg came to the big old house for Sunday dinner, the Krieger busy household version of it anyway which sometimes meant pizza or take-out, and, as she was helping the two moms clean up the kitchen afterwards, she finally got the chewing out she had been expecting for so long. It just didn’t come from the person she had anticipated. They had been making idle chit chat and Ashlyn had been telling Meg about Dodge’s football game that morning while the kids were all downstairs in the basement getting their ya-yas out after dinner.

“Oh man, you should have seen him” the keeper enthused, her face animated and lit up like the sun as she talked about her youngest son’s athletic prowess which was so evident, even at the age of 7-1/2. “He was surprised as hell, I could tell because he froze for a second” she imitated the boy’s actions and laughed. “But then he scooped up the ball and just ran for it. He didn’t look back or slow down or showboat or anything. He just sprinted as fast as he could. I thought he was going to pass out at about the 20-yard line but he kept going” she grinned. “98-yard fumble recovery run back for the game-winning touchdown!”

“No way!” Meg fulfilled Ashlyn’s high-ten with enthusiasm.

“I swear, it was incredible, right hon?” Ashlyn spoke to her wife but Ali was quiet, busying herself wiping down the same counter for about the 15th time. “Al?”

“Yep. It was terrific” the brunette turned around slowly and leaned against the counter, crossing her arms over her chest with an impossible to read look on her face. Even Ashlyn was confused by what was going on. She looked sideways at Meg as they both turned to face the brunette. “It was just the kind of play you hope all of your kids make. The kind of play they make because they’re ready for it. Even though Dodge was shocked for that split second, his body kicked into gear while his brain took a second to catch up. And that happened because he practiced it. How many times have we practiced that with him babe?” she looked at Ashlyn who had, by now, figured out what was happening.

“Oh man, too many to count. He was ready for it. That’s for sure” she nodded and began getting the bowls and spoons and fixings ready for the ice cream sundaes they were having for dessert in a little while. She didn’t want to leave Meg alone to face the wrath of the brunette, but she also didn’t want to soften the blow Ali was about to deliver. Meg needed to hear what Ali had to say and Ashlyn was well aware of it. “More than ready.”

“Okaaay” Meg said awkwardly, still really confused by what Ali was saying as well as the harsh tone in which she was saying it. It didn’t make sense. “What am I missing” she laughed.

That was a mistake. She hadn’t meant anything by laughing, she was just relaxing at home with her family and not even thinking about the Duke game anymore. But that laugh may as well have been a slap right across the brunette’s face.

“Oh you think it’s funny?” Ali challenged, her mouth an angry line as she cocked her head and raised her eyebrows, waiting to jump on a response. “Do you?”

“I don’t...know...no?” Meg looked to Ashlyn for guidance but the blonde kept busy with the task she had chosen to hide behind.

“That’s right, no” Ali’s nostrils were flaring and Meg knew she was in trouble but she just couldn’t figure out why. 

“What did I do?” Meg asked, emphasizing the I and shrugging her shoulders with her palms up.

“More like what didn’t you do, actually” Ali put her hands on her hips in her patented, frustrated-mom pose.

“Huh?”

“Meg, I’m so disappointed in you” she shook her head at the college freshman who was slowly starting to get the picture. “I’m sorry. But I am. I thought you were smarter than that.”

“Is this...about the Duke game?” Meg swallowed hard and looked apprehensively at the brunette.

“Yes!” Ali flailed both arms up in frustration and let them fall back down by her sides, palms slapping her thighs. “Of course it is! I’ve been mad about it for two weeks!”

Ashlyn cleared her throat, just to remind her wife that she might not want to destroy the young woman right off the bat the first time she fucked up. 

“I’m sorry! Ok?! I screwed up!” Meg yelled back. “What do you want me to say?!”

“I want you to tell me you understand what an amazing opportunity you have! I want you to say that you’ll never ever take it for granted ever again! I want you to work your ass off every single day so you’ll always be ready for your shot! You could have won the starting spot if you’d played well in that game...” she cocked her head and gave Meg a threatening look when the redhead opened her mouth to contradict her, “and don’t you dare tell me you played a good game. You got fucking lucky. You were flying blind out there and you know it” the brunette’s hands were back on her hips and she had moved closer to Meg during her diatribe.

“I didn’t say anything” the young woman offered dejectedly, dropping her eyes in shame and embarrassment.

Ashlyn watched the exchange with interest, trying not to make any noise. It was so rare for Ali to get upset with Meg and the keeper knew the redhead would remember this fight for a very long time. Ali was right and all three of them knew it.

“Oh Meg, I just don’t want you to have a single regret someday because you didn’t give this everything you have.” Ali’s voice was quieter and her face had softened too. “Do you understand?”

“Yeah” Meg nodded and glanced up at the brunette. “I didn’t think I was gonna play” she tried to defend herself but stopped when she saw anger flash in Ali’s eyes again.

“That’s the whole point!” the brunette’s face was hard again. “You never know when you’re gonna play. That’s why you have to prepare every single game like you’re going to be in there. You have to be ready physically and mentally and emotionally – every single game. As long as you’re dressing for the game you have to be ready, every single time.”

“It was so much easier in high school” the young woman admitted.

“I know” Ali nodded, her face still stern. “I remember. The same thing happened to me. It happens to everybody. But you’ve gotta be better Meg. Unless you don’t really want to try and turn pro...”

“No! I do. That’s what I want more than anything” the teenager’s pink face snapped to attention.

“Well, you’ve got a lot to learn. If you’re gonna be the starting keeper you’ve gotta be a leader. Your teammates have to trust you and respect you back there or you won’t have a chance in hell of organizing that backline. They have to know you’re all in and dedicated to the team and that starts with being ready when your number gets called.”

“I know” Meg nodded glumly.

“Do you?”

“I do. I swear.”

“Good. Then you’d better start acting like it.”

Meg and Ashlyn watched the brunette wordlessly cross the kitchen, open the basement door and go down the steps where four wound-up kids and two dogs awaited. Ashlyn gave Meg a minute to soak up what Ali had said and then moved past her to finish getting the fixings for the ice cream.

“She’s really mad at me” Meg said softly.

“Yes she is” Ashlyn agreed and turned to face her.

“I don’t think she’s ever been so mad at me before.”

“Well, she never got the chance to play professionally. It was her dream and...”

“Ugh, I never thought about that” Meg groaned. “God, that makes so much more sense now. That asshole broke her leg and that was that” she shook her head and Ashlyn grinned – happy to hear her own take on Ali’s career-ending injury come out of her step-daughter’s mouth. “Of course she’s mad at me. She doesn’t want me to blow my chance.”

“Yeah, that and she loves you and wants you to be happy. It’s not about disappointing her so much as it is she knows how disappointed you’re going to be with yourself. And nothing will ever make that go away. She said it herself – she doesn’t want you to have any regrets. If you really want to go pro you’ve gotta do better...”

“I know. I will.”

“Not just better on the pitch between the posts, you’ve gotta be better in the weight room and better in the film room and better in the classroom and better...”

“I get it. I get it” Meg interrupted. “I just thought...I don’t know, that part didn’t start until I started playing. But I know that’s stupid” she shook her head, regretting her own naivete. “I swear. I get it.”

“I believe you” Ashlyn put her arm around Meg’s shoulders and kissed the side of her head. “And trust me, with that woman in your corner” she motioned towards the basement door, “you’re never gonna find a bigger supporter. She will lift you up when you think nothing in the world possibly could. But if she’s gonna be there for you she expects you to be there too. Don’t let her down again, ok?”

“I won’t. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do we feel about the She Believes roster drop today? I mean aside from wishing Ali was on it (grumble, grumble, grumble for eternity).  
> Horan is hurt so that's why she's not there. But the big surprise for me was Morgan Brian not making it. Yikes. I'm happy to see Colaprico getting a shot. And I'm NOT a fan of Zerboni at all so I wish someone else was in that spot. Don't hate me McCall fans - I've tried really hard to like her but I just can't do it. I didn't even like her when she played with the Breakers for half of the 2016 season. Believe me...I've TRIED.  
> It'll be interesting to see how O'Hara's ankle is doing now. She's been injured a lot the last couple of years. It makes me nervous. That backline is frightening. What do you guys think?


	12. Minds Blown - Part 1

Thanksgiving was at the big old house that year, for the second time in the past three years, but both Ali and Ashlyn were happy about it. Neither of them felt like the holidays last year had been a good time for their family – the increasing stalker threat putting a severe damper on Thanksgiving at Ken’s house and then the crazy mess that had been Christmas after Emily’s attack. In reality, the kids had enjoyed a wonderful Christmas last year with all of their grandparents around for much longer than usual. But Ali and Ashlyn had felt more like observers than participants. That’s what the problem was. The two wives had talked about going to Florida for Thanksgiving this year and just getting away from the memories, but they decided to do that for Christmas instead. They wanted to host a big, happy, boisterous family holiday before then so Thanksgiving it was. Iris Kimball had offered to host but everybody knew she wasn’t really up to it. She was just being impossibly polite.

“She’s not doing well” Kyle shook his head as he watched his mother slather a coating of butter mixture onto an enormous apple pie and then slide it back into the oven to finish baking. “Nate’s really upset. He doesn’t know what to do” he sighed sadly, leaning against the counter right next to the oven in the big old house.

It was the afternoon before Thanksgiving and Kyle had brought Edgar down to hang out with Drew while Nathan and Cristina stayed in Ipswich with Iris Kimball. Ali and Ashlyn were at the small kitchen table, going over the growing shopping list of last-minute things they needed for the big day tomorrow.

“Well there’s not much he can do honey” Deb rubbed her son’s arm as she stood up after closing the oven door. “Only Iris knows what she needs right now.”

“Jared’s crushed too” Ali added with a frown of her own. “He’s been trying to be there for her and spend more time with her, but...”

“I know” Kyle nodded. “Nate always says how thankful he is that Jared’s up here with her. He feels guilty all the time that he can’t spend as much time with her. I don’t know what’s worse for him, the grief from losing his dad or the guilt from feeling like he’s not doing enough for his mom.”

They were quiet for a few minutes, each thinking of something they could do or say to make any of the grieving and missing easier.

“You know, Gram always used to say that losing Gramps was the hardest thing she ever had to do” the keeper’s voice was soft as she reflected on the woman she still missed every single day of her life. “She said she never got over it, and that she didn’t feel like herself for a long time. And then, finally, she learned how to be herself...how did she say it...” Ashlyn scrunched up her face as she tried to remember the words her grandmother had used, “the closest version of herself she could be without him. Yeah, that’s it” she nodded and smiled softly. “Once she learned how to do that, she started to feel better. And it just kept getting better after that. I mean, she always missed him...”

“Of course she did sweetheart” Deb smiled warmly at her daughter-in-law. “But she found a way to be happy again even though he was gone. Not the same kind of happy, but...still, happy.”

“Yeah” Ashlyn nodded quickly, appreciating Deb finishing the thought for her so she didn’t cry like a baby. 

Iris losing Bill had made Ashlyn think about losing Ali and that was something the keeper just could not bring herself to consider. Ever. Her body and brain just refused to go there, unless something extreme happened – like an attack from a crazed stalker, for example. She had even gotten better at dealing with the occasional ‘bad’ result from Ali’s ultrasounds. It still threw both of them for a loop whenever it happened, but they had found a way to cope and carry on instead of shutting down until the second set of results came back. Ashlyn had done a good job all year long of keeping her shit mostly together. She had been seeing Dr. Mattie Olsen more often than any time in her past, except for when she first started seeing her way back in 2016. Ali knew her wife was struggling, but she also knew she was winning the struggle. Nothing made her more proud, not counting the kids’ achievements at being good little humans.

“And we’ll all just be here for Iris until she figures that out” Ali patted her wife’s hand on the small table and looked over her shoulder at Kyle with a kind smile. 

“That’s the problem though” Kyle explained. “She was the type of woman, or they had the type of marriage I guess I should say, I don’t know” he shook his head quickly, not wanting to offend any of the women in the room. “She did everything for Bill. Her whole life revolved around him and his interests and his schedule. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“That’s how it always used to be, all the time” Deb spoke again. “A lot of women my age are in the same boat. They didn’t work outside the home so once the kids were gone they moved all of their attention to their husbands and that was that.”

“But you and dad were never like that” Kyle gave her a confused look, having a hard time picturing that type of relationship. “It just doesn’t seem...healthy.”

“Well it wasn’t” Deb chuckled. “But that’s how it was. So when the husbands of those women died there was a huge space to fill and lots of women just kind of shriveled up and lived half-lives because they didn’t know what else to do.”

“But Iris has so many friends...” Ali tried to understand.

“But how many of them do you think she really feels comfortable enough with to be open and honest about what she’s going through?” Deb asked.

“Part of the problem is...her” Kyle looked up quickly when he realized how terrible he sounded. “I don’t mean she’s a bad person” he tried to save himself, talking fast and stammering a bit. “But she’s just kind of stand-offish, even on her best days...”

“No, you’re right Ky” Ali tried to help him out, knowing what he was trying to communicate despite his botched attempt. “Some women are really closed-off like that, it’s part of the Yankee thing I think. What do you think babe?”

“I guess so” Ashlyn tried to look at all of this through the lens of her other grandmother. “Grandma Lilian kind of did the same thing, I think. As a Yankee you don’t ask for help, ever. And she spent a long time alone and I’m not sure that would have happened if she had been...more open...less Yankee.”

“Has Iris thought about moving to a retirement community?” Deb asked, hoping it wasn’t the first time anybody had suggested it.

“Nate and Jared talked with her about it a couple of months ago but she said she’s not ready. I think she wants to get through a year on her own and just kind of see where she’s at. I don’t know” he looked down, his face sad and troubled. 

“Then that sounds like a good plan” Deb put her arm around her son’s back and squeezed him as he stood next to her. “And like Alex said, we’ll be here to help her as much as possible until then. And after then.”

Drew and Edgar came tumbling into the kitchen from the mudroom, fresh from bursting through the basement door at full speed, video game controllers still in their hands, oblivious to the somber mood in the room.

“Mom! Josie ripped the cord out of the X-box and won’t give it back!”

“Dad! We need your help!”

The two boys shouted at the same time, one to each of the grown-up Krieger siblings which made Deb’s entire face light up.

“I knew it was too quiet down there” Ashlyn groaned and rubbed her face with her hand as she sat at the kitchen table.

“What do you mean she ripped the cord out?” Ali stood up and met her son in the middle of the room, glancing quickly at Kyle who was frowning down at Edgar.

“She ripped it out” Drew repeated, his eyes wide as if he still couldn’t believe it had happened.

“Do you mean she unplugged it or are we talking about electrical repair...” Kyle asked.

“No, well, ok she unplugged it” Edgar offered with a shrug. 

“But she won’t give it back” Drew emphasized.

“Wasn’t your hour up 10 minutes ago?” Ali looked at the clock on the stove and quirked her eyebrow at her son.

“Yeah, but...”

“No” Ali shook her head, knowing exactly how hard it was to get Drew to stop playing his game when his time was up. “You guys know the rules. If you can’t share the video games then you won’t play them. It’s that simple” she moved towards the table to add another item that had just popped into her head to the list in front of her wife. “Coconut extract” she said to Ashlyn and then answered her next question before the keeper could ask. “I want to make coconut sugar cookie bars, Iris loves those.”

“Ooh, can we make them snowman shaped again?” Ashlyn asked as she added the item to the list in her neat handwriting.

“You’d better get some extra tiny chocolate kisses to decorate them” Deb added as she crossed to the cabinet with all of the fun baking decorations, checking stock on other things to add to the list.

“It’s Thanksgiving guys” Ali looked from her mother to her wife and chuckled. “We can hold off on the Christmas cookie decorations for...”

“Nah, I’ll just get em all now” the keeper cut her off, jotting more things on the paper in front of her. “In two days it’s officially Christmas season anyway. Why wait?”

“Mooo-ommmm” Drew dragged the word out into two syllables and tugged on Ali’s arm.

“Yes honey, I know the world is coming to an end because you might have to do something besides play a video game” Ali rolled her eyes dramatically at the boy. “Why don’t you two go out and kick the ball around for a while? Change the air in your head.”

Deb chuckled at the phrase she herself had used often on Kyle and Ali when they were growing up.

“Great idea” Kyle enthused. He reached out and took the controllers from both boys’ hands, neither one of them giving them up easily at first. “I’ll come out and join you in a few minutes. Show you how it’s really done” he laughed and pushed the boys towards the mudroom to get them started. “Get nice and warmed up before I come out there and embarrass you both.”

“Josephine Marie Krieger!” Ali called from the top of the basement steps. “Come up here right now.”

“I’m sure she waited for them to stop” Ashlyn tried to intercede on her daughter’s behalf, but it was unnecessary. 

“Oh I know exactly how it went down” Ali nodded in agreement and tried to keep the smile off of her face.

Both moms loved when one of their kids stood up for themselves whether it was against a neighborhood bully – which they were sadly getting more and more practice with – or whether it was against one of their beloved siblings. But they were careful never to reward bad behavior no matter how deserved it might be.

There was a commotion in the mudroom as Josie walked through it and into the kitchen, passing Drew and Edgar on the way.

“You’re gonna get it now” Drew teased his sister and both boys laughed as they zipped up their jackets.

“Jerks!” Josie yelled, her face still pink from whatever drama had gone on in the basement just moments ago.

“You two” Deb stuck her head into the mudroom and gave the boys a stern look. “Mind your business and go on, take the dogs with you” she motioned at the mudroom door as Josie squeezed past her into the kitchen.

It took Ali and Ashlyn and Kyle almost a full minute to get a hold of themselves when they saw the spunky little redhead standing in front of them. She was dressed as she often was, leggings under a short skirt with a colorful long-sleeved top, matching everything in one way or another. But this time she had the added accessory of the power cable to the X-box tied loosely around her neck. Not only had she unplugged the damned machine to get her brother to stop playing and encroaching on her playing time, but she had hung the power cord around her neck like the prize that it was. 

“Why did you unplug the X-box?” Ali asked, her face finally serious but not upset.

“They wouldn’t stop!” Josie’s voice was loud and defensive. “They went past their time and I told them and they still wouldn’t stop.”

“Ok, but what’s the rule when someone doesn’t end their turn on time?” Ashlyn stood next to her wife and had a much harder time keeping the smile off her face as she looked down at their adorable, feisty daughter who suddenly seemed older than all of them.

“To come get one of you guys” Josie kicked at the floor with her bare foot, dropping her eyes momentarily but then lifting them up in defiance. “But you always say you’re gonna unplug it and hide the power cord” she looked right at Ashlyn. “I just saved you a step.”

Ali stifled a giggle along with the urge to pick the girl up and hug her. Kyle and Deb had to leave the room quickly, before bursting into laughter in the front living room.

“That’s true” Ali nodded evenly. “But you still have to let us be the ones to do that. We don’t want any of you kids playing around with power cords, right?”

“But...”

“No buts, little miss” Ashlyn cocked her head in warning, just barely keeping the smile from her lips. “They were wrong to go past their time, but you were wrong to do what you did. You let us do the parenting, got it?”

“Ok, fine” she let out a frustrated sigh and frowned. “But it was their fault.”

“And we’ll talk to them. They’re going to miss their next video game time as a punishment” Ali raised an eyebrow, not liking the pushback. “What do you think your punishment should be?”

This was a stumper because neither mom really thought Josie deserved to be punished, but they also didn’t want to raise a brat either. The keeper looked cautiously at her wife, knowing that if Josie had just kept her mouth shut a few seconds ago they would all be walking away from this issue, unscathed, right now.

“Umm...” the girl stalled, realizing her mistake. She removed the power cable necklace and offered it to her mothers in supplication, both palms up. She looked warily from Ali to Ashlyn and then back to Ali again. “I don’t know” she shrugged, helplessly.

Deb and Kyle were watching the proceedings from the mudroom, behind Josie and facing the two moms. They both made sad, pathetic faces at the moms and put their hands together in pleading prayer to save the redhead from punishment.

“I hate to do this, because you did have a legitimate beef” Ashlyn began, slowly, trying to read Ali’s mood. “But I think you should give up your video game time...” she paused, watching her daughter’s face start to lighten. Josie wasn’t a huge video game fan. Both Ashlyn and Ali knew that the real reason she had been so ticked off about Drew going over into her time was that it was HER time. She was going to play video games for an hour just because it was her hour, not because she really wanted to play video games. Although she did enjoy playing a couple of the games down there. Ashlyn made sure to keep her face serious as she delivered the next part of the ‘punishment’. “And I think you’re gonna have to come with me to do the shopping” she shook her head sadly. “Sorry kiddo.”

Kyle, Deb and Ali all let quiet sighs of relief out when they heard Ashlyn’s perfect plan. None of the kids liked to go grocery shopping – it was boring and took too long. But Josie actually liked going shopping, especially if it was a one-on-one trip with either of her moms. Grocery shopping would never be her first choice, but she’d take it.

“Aw Mama” she had the good grace and smarts to try and pretend to be upset but there was a grin on her face that told the truth. “When?”

“Right now, let’s go” Ashlyn smiled at her and plucked the power cable out of her hands. “Go get some socks on, hurry up” she grinned and patted Josie’s butt, watching her race towards the front stairs on a quest for socks.

The other three grown-ups teased the keeper for her soft-hearted punishment, but they all knew it was an appropriate ending to the skirmish. Kyle went into the backyard to play soccer and Deb went back to the oven to take her pie out. Ali gave her wife a hug and a kiss on the cheek as she took the power cable from her hands.

“I love you” the brunette whispered. “And I love our strong little girl so much.”

//

The Harris clan arrived later that night, filling the rental house in Rockport that Tammye and Carol were coming closer and closer to committing to every time they stayed there. They were almost ready to try and buy it. Carol was waiting for just the right timing, relying on her real estate expertise to get the most bang for their buck. Lizzy and Johnny stayed with their cousins at the big old house as they always preferred to do, while Beth, Chris and Mike Harris stayed with Tammye and Carol in the Rockport house.

“You know I don’t mind, so stop asking me about it and expecting a different answer” Ali gave her wife a frustrated look. “It’s fine.”

As much as the brunette’s words said ‘yes’ Ashlyn knew her heart and soul were whispering ‘no fucking way is that twat staying in my house again’. She could hear it loud and clear but she couldn’t understand why Ali wouldn’t talk to her about it. Things had been fine between Hannah and Ali all Fall. The fight in May revolving around driving Meg up to Boston for college had faded and been mostly forgotten. The Krieger family vacation to DC had been fine and the two women who had so often found themselves at odds over the early years of their acquaintance had seemed to have moved past the harsh words and hurt feelings. But Ashlyn knew that Hannah had wounded Ali deeply that evening in May and she knew the brunette would not soon forget it.

“Hiii!” Meg beamed as she walked into the mudroom with her mother in tow. 

Lily and Josie were the first two to greet her with huge hugs and big smiling faces.

“Meggie!” they both yelled in unison.

Everybody in the family had loved having Meg around so much more that Fall, but the young Krieger kids had probably enjoyed it the most. They really didn’t see her all that often between the soccer schedule and her schoolwork, but the college freshman always seemed to stop by a couple of times a month with huge piles of dirty laundry in the back of her Jeep and a tired smile on her face. Twice a month seemed like heaven to the young kids compared to once or twice a year.

“There she is” Ashlyn appeared from the kitchen where she had been cleaning and helping Ali get everything ready for tomorrow morning’s big turkey cooking event. “Hi honey” she hugged Meg tightly. “It’s so good to see you.” She moved on to hug Hannah, asking her about the flight and then asking them both about the drive. “How’d it go? I wish you’d have let me come with you.”

“It was...” Meg make an eek face and looked quickly at her mother before finishing... “kinda terrifying, honestly. I wish I’d have let you come too” she giggled.

“I told you” Ashlyn frowned. “Logan airport at Thanksgiving is a nightmare. Next time I’m not listening to you.”

“Well, now I know I can do it” Meg countered with a cocky grin that didn’t last very long. “And maybe next time I won’t have to do 6 laps around the whole stupid airport to figure out how to get out of there.”

Everybody in earshot laughed and Mike encouraged everyone to get out of the way so he could greet his eldest granddaughter, his patience long past worn out. He hadn’t made the trip to Boston yet this Fall so he hadn’t seen Meg nearly as much as everybody else had.

After a long stream of hellos and a couple of long-awaited bathroom breaks for Meg and Hannah, Ashlyn helped them carry their bags up to the third floor. 

“We can get started on your laundry in the morning, ok?” Ashlyn asked, waiting in Meg’s doorway for her affirmative response. “Just leave it in your Jeep tonight and I’ll bring it in tomorrow.”

The keeper shook her head as Meg plopped on top of her big bed and began texting her wild driving story to who knows how many friends and teammates. Ashlyn moved across the hall to her studio and turned the lights on so she and Hannah could see where they were going. Hannah and Ashlyn made the pullout couch up, tag-teaming the job and keeping their voices low so Meg couldn’t hear.

“I’m sorry Ash, I’m sure Ali’s not thrilled about another guest in the house...”

“She’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

“I just couldn’t break her heart. She was so excited when I told her I was coming up for the weekend and, I don’t know, I chickened out when she told me she thought I was staying here with her too.”

“It’s ok Han” Ashlyn raised her eyebrows, exasperated with the conversation but completely understanding what Hannah was talking about. “I know her favorite thing is having us all together and it just seems mean to her when we don’t do it this way. I get it. So does Ali.”

“But she’s not a little kid anymore” the redhead sat down on one of the stools by the work table in the middle of the room with a sigh. “I’ll have to try and explain it to her I guess.”

“Explain what, exactly?” Ashlyn’s voice had a spark of anger in it that wasn’t lost on her guest. “That you used to behave so badly around Ali that she still doesn’t trust you all the way? Or that you hurt her feelings so much the last time you stayed here that you feel awkward being in the same house with Ali again?”

“Ouch. Damn, well I guess I deserved that” Hannah sighed again as Ashlyn finished tossing the pillows onto the bed. “I’m sorry Ash...”

“Stop apologizing to me Hannah” she walked towards the door, still keeping her voice low. “I’m glad you guys are here and I mean that.”

“Tell me what I need to do to make it right” Hannah asked quickly, afraid she would lose her opportunity as the keeper reached the doorway. “You know I’m not that person anymore, the one who...treated you so awfully” she dropped her eyes, ashamed of the way she behaved so long ago. “You know I’m not.”

“I also already told you how to fix this but you can’t do it, can you?” Ashlyn stood with her hands on her hips and fixed her ex with a hard stare. “God, you’re so pig-headed. The both of you are. I know if you switched places and Ali was the one who had said the wrong thing that she’d find it impossible to apologize too. What is it with you two?” she shook her head and moved back to Meg’s open door. “Come downstairs and talk to people for a while, please?” she smiled at the sight of one of the pieces of her heart. “They’re old and they’ll go to bed soon and then you can text all you want. Ok?”

The weekend, despite the awkwardness between Hannah and Mike Harris which was palpable, went pretty well. Mike had an extra bone to pick with Hannah that weekend too because, until she took it, he was going to stay in the studio so he could spend more time with Ashlyn’s kids whom he didn’t see as often as he did Chris’. Once Mike heard Hannah was staying at the house, even if she stayed in Meg’s room with her as they had done in the past, he was out. The house was impossibly busy for the four-day weekend and, as big as it was, it literally felt like it was bursting at its seams sometimes.

Everybody was there. Ken and Vicki and Koty and Brianna and Tanner and his new girlfriend, Renee. The Revs were in the middle of an exciting playoff run and, hopefully, headed for the MLS championship game in early December. Tanner was playing well and the team had really gelled as the season progressed. There was a good chance they would actually make it all the way to the MLS Cup Final. Kyle and his family stayed with Iris Kimball in Ipswich and brought Jared with them for Thanksgiving day. Deb and Mike Christopher were there and Mike’s daughter Lori joined them, staying at the Manchester condo and enjoying the time with her dad who was looking older than ever that November. The Dwyers were there, as was Sandi Leroux and her part-time boyfriend who had somehow managed to stick around for 3-1/2 years already. How had it been that long? The only Dwyer missing was Boss, the old dog finally succumbing to heart disease in October. He was 16 years old and Sydney had loved him since she met him 13 years earlier. The joke had always been that Boss was too mean to die, but Sydney loved him with all her heart and he had always been incredibly loyal to her. There was no doubt in anybody’s mind who he answered to.

“I always said his heart was too mean” the coach had choked on her tears back in early October when she had to put him to sleep. Ali had gone with her, not wanting Sydney to have to take on the difficult task by herself. “I guess it’s kind of fitting that it was his heart that finally gave out on him.”

“It worked so hard for all those years, even as it was falling apart in his chest” Ali sniffled, hugging her best friend beside her as they watched Boss’s lifeless body on the gurney after he had been euthanized. “I’m so sorry Syd.”

“My grumpy little man” the coach gave the dog one last scratch behind his ear and kiss on his head. “You were the fucking best” she whispered, head still close to his. “I love you.”

Even Whitney and Ryan were there with Becca, 5-1/2, and Tommy, 3-1/2, that year. For one of the first times ever, neither of their families had come to Boston to spend Thanksgiving with the adorable young family. Whitney’s parents were coming to visit the following weekend for Whitney’s 43rd birthday. Thanksgiving was early that year, on the 21st. 

Erica and her daughter Maisy, 8-1/2, joined them again, fitting right into the madhouse comfortably, as usual. Both Ali and Sydney worried that their friend wasn’t trying hard enough to start living again – which meant finding someone to keep her company and be a true companion and partner. They knew better than to push. Erica had made it crystal clear that her number one priority was taking care of Maisy who had somehow turned 8 years old that summer. The hard-working single mom just wasn’t interested in looking for a new man. She was too busy and too tired and flat out of fucks to give about being alone at that point. 

“I’m telling you, if option 1 is having a glass of wine, watching a good show and falling asleep early, and option 2 was going out on a date, well, there’s just no competition. At all” she laughed that Thanksgiving. “I mean, it’s not even close. God” she sighed, thinking about the first option, “that sounds like heaven to me.”

The NH Kriegers made the trip down too and that was always a blessing and a curse. It meant lots of fun times with Ali’s cousins and their young children, but it also meant putting up with ignorant old Aunt Becky. The cranky old woman had been giving Boss Leroux a run for his money for the title of most heartless creature to live the longest. She had finally won that title.

“I think we should lock Aunt Becky and Hannah in the basement and see who comes out alive” Whitney surprised Ali, Ashlyn, Kyle and Chris as the group worked together in the backyard getting it ready for the big soccer game. They all looked at her, mouths agape and eyes shocked. “What?” the lawyer shrugged, “you’d all pay money to see that grudge match and you know it.”

After the soccer game ended and all the pies and desserts had been devoured and the people with small children were getting ready to pack their things up to get them home and into bed, some of the kids were talking down in the basement. Many of the grown-ups had learned that if they were quiet enough on their way down the carpeted stairs to the basement, they could hear lots of different things the kids said and did when they thought there were no parents around. It was usually cute and harmless stuff but sometimes it was shocking and upsetting. Learning your baby wasn’t all innocence and rainbows anymore could rattle any parent. 

“Who is the other lady though?” Dodge, 7-1/2, asked, his eyes glued to the tv screen as Luigi hopped and jumped and ducked through a level of the latest Mario Bros game. Dodge was an absolute wizard at that game, even better than Drew. And it was the only game that all four young Krieger kids happily played together. “The new one?”

“Oh, Bri’s sister” Lily nodded, assuming that the girl who went out with Koty’s brother had to be Brianna’s sister because, of course, why wouldn’t that make perfect sense?

“That’s not Bri’s sister” Josie, 9-1/2, frowned. “She’s black and Bri’s not.”

“That doesn’t matter though” Lizzy, almost 11, corrected as she tried vainly to keep up with Dodge in the video game. “My friend Steffi is white but her sister is black.”

“Nuh-uh” Josie gave her cousin a disbelieving look.

“Yeah, it’s true.”

“Guys, that’s not Bri’s sister” Drew, 11-1/2, finally spoke when the arguing about whether or not brothers and sisters could be different skin colors got to be too much for him to stand. “She’s Tanner’s girlfriend.”

There was some more debate about the veracity of that statement with Johnny, the oldest kid in the room at 13-1/2, besides Meg who was sitting on the couch amidst the cacophony with her eyes on her phone, seemingly oblivious to the din, finally speaking the final word on the subject.

“Yeah, she’s his girlfriend” Johnny said plainly. “I saw them kissing.”

“Guys, guys, calm down” Meg finally restored some order after the room erupted at Johnny’s news. “What are we arguing about now? I got next game, with Edgar, Cash, and Maisy – there’s no discussion on that” she looked at all of the curious faces in the room and wondered what all she had missed.

“But she can’t be his girlfriend” Dodge’s face registered confusion, even as he continued to lead Drew, Johnny and Lizzy through yet another level of the game. “She’s black.”

“Wait, what?” Meg looked surprised.

The only people more surprised were Ashlyn, Sydney, Kyle and Erica who were crouched halfway down the stairs, listening to the conversation and sweating nervously about what might get said next. Dodge, in particular, seemed fixated on black people not being able to do things and Ashlyn’s heart felt like a stone in her chest.

“Why do you say that Dodger?” Meg prompted, her voice still friendly and easy, even though she felt some of the same anxiety Ashlyn did, hidden behind her on the stairs.

“I don’t know” the boy shrugged, still playing the game. “That’s just the rule.”

“That’s not a rule, dummy” Drew scoffed. 

“Who told you that was a rule?” Meg pushed a little, afraid of spooking Dodge into silence – which was pretty hard to do, but he wasn’t an idiot. He could sense the shift in the room and feel the looks he was getting from his closest friends and family. “It’s not, by the way, but I’m wondering where you heard it.”

“At school I guess” he shrugged again. “Plus, have you ever seen it?” he asked, genuinely interested in everybody’s responses. “I’ve never seen black and white parents, have you?”

They all thought for a long minute, the only sound in the room were the blips and beeps from the video game that played on even as the young minds strained and stretched to come up with an answer. Many of the kids said no but some said they had seen it before. Edgar, almost 11 and the same age as Lizzy, spoke up first, talking about one of his friends from school and then Lizzy talked about her friend Steffi’s parents who were indeed black and white. After another few minutes of conversation the video game ended and Meg took advantage of the change in players to make sure there were no lingering doubts about the answer to the question.

“So listen up little people” she teased them in her easy, fun big sister manner. “There are absolutely no rules about who you can have as your boyfriend or your girlfriend. It doesn’t matter what color their skin is or where they’re from or anything” she looked from face to face as they nodded back at her, trying hard to take it all in. “Just because you haven’t seen a black and white pair of parents doesn’t mean they’re not out there. Everybody got it?”

Most everybody said yes but Dodge still looked skeptical. He wasn’t a racist child, by any stretch. Meg wasn’t telling him anything he hadn’t heard a million times already in his young life – perhaps just not that specific an example of love being love and there being no limits on who could love somebody else. He simply hadn’t seen it before and couldn’t imagine it, even though Tanner and his new, black, girlfriend were sitting upstairs right at that moment.

“He still doesn’t get it” Johnny laughed at his young cousin as they handed the controllers to the next group of gamers.

“Trust me bud” Meg took the controller from Dodge as the boy came over to her on the couch and leaned against her legs. “I promise you it’s not a rule and it happens all the time. Just like with Tanner and Renee” she motioned towards the ceiling of the basement.

As many of the kids looked up and around, the parents huddled on the stairs realized they were about to be caught spying. They all stood up at the same time, banging into each other and giggling like fools. In a last-ditch effort to save face, they walked down the stairs as if they had just come through the door a second before.

“Hey boys, time to get going” Sydney was the first to find her voice as she got to the bottom of the stairs.

“Miss Maisy, you too my girl” Erica added.

Ashlyn shared a meaningful look with Meg, trying to tell her how proud she was of her without using any words. Meg just looked pissed, realizing full well that they had been spying on them all for who knew how long.

“Mama, can black people be together with white people?” Dodge, never shy, asked without blinking an eye, genuinely trying to understand.

“Of course they can” Ashlyn smiled at him, sensitive to some of the snickers he was getting from Drew, Johnny, and Cash, 13. “Look at all of us here in this room. We’ve got all sorts of different colors going on down here and it doesn’t matter one bit.”

“But...” he glanced at the older boys, trying to decide whether or not to ask the question. “We’re all friends and cousins – we’re not parents together” he tilted his head and squinted a little.

“You mean a couple? Like a romantic couple like mommies and daddies?” the keeper clarified for him.

“Yeah, like that.”

“But we could be” Ashlyn shrugged. “Unky Kyle and Aunt Syd could be a couple...”

“No” Josie interrupted. “He’s gay. He only likes other boys.”

“Ok, good point. That wasn’t a great example” Ashlyn tried not to laugh because the room was very serious and focused on her. “Erica and Syd could be a couple...”

“No, Aunt Syd isn’t gay” Drew called his Mama out on it that time.

“Alright listen you guys, just because we don’t have a great example right here in front of you doesn’t mean it can’t happen. One day James and Josie could grow up and fall in love and become a couple and that would be totally ok.”

James, 9, and Josie looked at each other and wrinkled up their noses at the idea, then giggled together.

“Besides Tanner and Renee who are right upstairs now” Sydney took over the explanation, “my mom is white and my dad was black” she announced and put her hands out to her sides as if she was waiting onstage for applause.

That shut everybody up for a few seconds. Nobody in the room, except for the other grown-ups, had known that little factoid. Not even the Dwyer boys because Sydney never talked about her father with them. When they asked about any dad things when she had been growing up, she answered them with stories about Ken Krieger being there for her and acting as her dad. Then she’d remind them all that James’ middle name, Kenneth, was for Grandpa Ken because he had been such a good dad to Sydney all her life.

“It happens all the time children, I promise you” the coach chuckled. 

“Who else?” Lily asked, intrigued by the idea.

“Umm...”

All the grown-ups were stumped, minds whirling as they tried to come up with more examples without relying on celebrities. They looked at each other anxiously, wishing one of them could come up with another example.

“Well, your mom used to date a black guy, when she was in college” Sydney finally blurted out, nodding at Lily and then Dodge and then Josie who were all pretty close to where she was standing. 

Ali’s history with guys wasn’t a secret but it also wasn’t something that had come up very often either. Kids didn’t see their parents as people with lives or pasts. All kids saw when they thought of their own parents was their own daily lives and the way mommies and daddies impacted them. That was it. All kids had the same fatal flaw in this regard. It was one of the few immutable things in life. The idea that Ali had been in a couple with anybody other than Ashlyn had never entered any of the little minds in that basement.

“You mean a black girl?” Cassius questioned his mother with a cock of his head.

“Oh boy, this oughta be fun” Kyle whispered from his spot halfway up the stairs, making Erica swallow a giggle as she sat down on the steps next to him.

“No” Sydney looked at Ashlyn who just shrugged back at her. The train was out of the station now, better at least keep it on the tracks. “A black boy. He was the starting quarterback of the football team actually...”

“He was?” Ashlyn couldn’t help but ask.

“Yes” Sydney chuckled, “he was. He’s a doctor now somewhere and he’s married with his own kids...”

“Is he gay?” Lizzy asked, innocently trying to follow along, as they all were.

“No, listen, some people are gay like Uncle Kyle and Uncle Nathan” Sydney pointed to Kyle on the stairs. 

“And Aunty Ash and Aunty Ali” James offered.

“Right” Sydney nodded after another quick look to Ashlyn. 

That night was not the night where they explained the subtle differences among the LGBTQ labels and why some people used them and other people didn’t like to be labelled at all. 

“So why did Mommy go out with a boy then?” Dodge asked the million dollar question that had them all curious.

“Well, some people, a lot of people actually, like both boys and girls” the coach bravely soldiered on, not believing that the trip down to the basement to collect her sons had turned into this bi-sexual, bi-racial seminar. “Sometimes for just a little while and then they kind of pick one that they like the best” she tried to explain. “But sometimes they never pick just one and they live their whole lives liking both boys and girls.”

Kyle groaned quietly and Sydney shot him a look, challenging him to do better.

“Did Mommy always like both boys and girls?” Josie asked, thinking hard.

“You’ll have to ask her that sometime” Ashlyn replied with a warm smile. “These things are really up to every single person to figure out for their own selves. None of it is right or wrong. You can like boys now and then when you get older you might like girls” she shrugged. “The point is, there are no rules about who can be in a couple. Black boys and white girls...”

“Like Mom” Drew added, trying to be helpful and showing his understanding of the explanation so far.

“Yes, like Mom” Ashlyn nodded at him and swallowed what was part chuckle and part groan of regret. “White boys and black boys...whatever you want. It’s ok. You love who you love and that’s all that matters. Everybody understand that?”

“Can I see a picture of Mommy and the quarterback?” Dodge asked, nothing but innocent curiosity on his face. 

Ashlyn knew his main point of interest was that Mommy had dated a quarterback who played college football. Kyle couldn’t hold in his laughter any more so he jumped up and tried to get up the stairs before letting it out. He almost made it too.

“What?” Dodge looked to the top of the stairs, which were out of view but they had all heard Kyle’s laugh, and then back at his Mama, unsure of what he had said that was funny or wrong.

“I don’t know Dodger. I don’t know if anybody still has one, but we’ll ask her ok?” she smiled patiently at her son and wondered how angry Ali was going to be about this entire conversation.

“So, tell me again how this all came up?” the brunette asked her wife evenly that night as they finished getting ready for bed.

“Baby, I’m sorry” the keeper apologized, assuming that Ali was angry or upset about her bisexual past being openly discussed by most of the children in their lives on Thanksgiving. “It wasn’t bad, I swear. Ask Syd, she’ll tell you the same thing” she said as she started to brush her teeth.

“Oh I intend to” Ali shook her head and rolled her eyes as she finished moisturizing for the night and left the bathroom. “Right after I dig up a picture of my ex-boyfriend for my 7-year old son to look at” she chuckled over her shoulder and Ashlyn finally knew she wasn’t really upset.

“Oh thank God you’re not mad” she followed Ali into the bedroom, toothbrush still in her mouth. She dropped to her knees near the foot of the bed and clasped her hands together as if she was praying. “Thank you Jesus” she mumbled around the toothbrush between her teeth.

“Oh stop, you’re being ridiculous” the brunette chuckled again as she took her hair out of the low bun it was in and shook it out. “Why would I be mad? I’m not ashamed of my past. Are you?” she fixed her wife with a raised eyebrow as she got into bed.

Ashlyn raised one finger as she stood up and then ran into the bathroom to finish brushing her teeth. She was back in less than a minute, putting the moisturizer pump on the dressing table so she could apply it and still talk to her wife at the same time. As much as the keeper had teased Ali about her strict moisturization routine over the years, she had to start using more of it herself with each passing year. Her wife was smart – when would Ashlyn ever learn?

“I am absolutely not ashamed of my past. I mean, I have lots of regrets, but mostly I feel like all of that...stupidity, somehow, got me to this very room in the winter of 2015...”

“No, not your past, are you ashamed of my past? Do you wish I didn’t...used to sleep with guys?” Ali’s voice had started out normally but had faded and sounded a bit insecure by the time she had finished the question.

“What?” Ashlyn looked shocked. “No, no way” she shook her head and looked earnestly at her wife, waiting for those beautiful whiskey-colored eyes to meet her gaze. “Al, honey, I couldn’t care less about any of that. You don’t still doubt that, do you?”

Ali shrugged her shoulders and dropped her eyes in response.

“Sugarplum, listen to me” Ashlyn crawled across the bed until she was kneeling right next to Ali’s hip as the brunette sat up against the headboard. “Do I ever wish neither one of us had ever had sex with anybody else before each other?” she made a playful contemplative face and moved her head from side to side as she pretended to think. “Sometimes” she grinned and took Ali’s hand in both of her own. “But seriously, I love everything about you. I’m proud of everything you are and everything you do. I’m your biggest fucking fan honey...no pun intended, really” she giggled and was glad to hear the brunette join her for a few seconds. “Honestly, you don’t really think it bothers me that you used to sleep with guys, like that I think less of you or something, do you?”

“No, not really” Ali looked shyly at her wife’s beautiful face that was full of concern. “I mean, I know you don’t judge me for it. I know that. I don’t know why I asked, really” she looked embarrassed and was grateful when Ashlyn brought their lips together in a soft, slow kiss.

“Good” the keeper gave her one more quick peck, smiled sweetly and then got under the covers so they could go to sleep. “Now let’s talk about your star-quarterback, hotshot doctor, ex-boyfriend, shall we?” she winked at the brunette.

“Ugh” Ali chuckled and made a face. “Let’s not. I’ll find a picture of Brent somewhere and show the kids. But that’s all I’m planning to do.”

“Well, just so you know, Dodge is already in love with him” Ashlyn giggled as she got settled and felt the brunette wrap herself into her left side. “But I’ll fight for you baby, til my dying breath.”

“Oh hush” Ali gently pinched her nipple. “That’s enough talk of dying breaths and ex-boyfriends.”

“Ow” the keeper chuckled. “Don’t start now...”

“Oh babe, I’m so exhausted...” 

“I know honey, I’m just teasing” Ashlyn patted Ali’s arm that was across her chest. “Me too. What a day. What an amazing damned day.”

“Happy Thanksgiving my love.”


	13. Minds Blown - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day everybody! And I say that with more enthusiasm than usual because of Ashlyn & Ali's posts today on Instagram. Lord help us all, those gals are madly in love with each other and I am HERE for it! They both said 'I love you' for the first time without a dog involved or any minced words. Although, technically, Ali didn't actually type the words. But she used a sticker that said it so it still counts. Those are the rules. <3

The Thanksgiving weekend turned out to be chock full of moments that were funny, sweet, poignant, and shocking. The kids had all had their minds blown Thursday evening with the impromptu ‘love who you love’ class in the basement. Later that weekend, Ali had managed to find a picture of Brent, the boy she dated her sophomore year in college, on one of the alumni pages for Penn State and that would just have to do. Ashlyn and Ali sat down with all four of their young children and went through the kids in each of their classes, trying to identify who might have mommies or daddies in couples that weren’t both white. It turned out to be a fun exercise and they all learned more about the classmates and their families. 

The Black Friday shopping spree started in the early morning hours the day after Thanksgiving and went until mid-afternoon. Ali, Sydney, both their moms, Lori Christopher, Beth Harris, Vicki Krieger, Brianna Wild, Meg and Hannah Doucette were joined by Julie and Emma Donaldson that year and made quick work of the sales and special offers. They drove caravan-style up to Kittery, ME, - where the outlet malls were having even better sales than usual, and did significant damage to their credit card accounts. They stuck together through the first few stores, and then broke out into smaller, more specific groups after that – making their way through the two enormous warehouse-style buildings that had been transformed into the outlet malls with individual stores decades ago. 

They regrouped, ate an early lunch together, and then went back out for two more hours before climbing back into their vehicles for the hour-drive home. They were such a large group that even when they split up they still sometimes bumped into each other in a shop or a store, laughing and joking whenever it happened.

“Oh, hi, it’s you” Ali tried to keep the smile on her face when she bumped into Hannah in the Victoria’s Secret store. Lori looked across the rack to her step-sister with inquisitive eyes, furtively watching the exchange. “Where’s Meg” the brunette looked hopefully for the college freshman, not wanting to have to talk to Hannah alone.

“She and Emma were not interested in coming in here with her mom” Hannah chuckled as she held up a sexy piece of lingerie and inspected it. “They’ll meet us at lunch.”

“Ok, great” Ali tried to keep moving, angling herself to get closer to Lori so Hannah would leave them alone.

“Looking for something special?” the redhead tried to make conversation, wishing they had found themselves in any other store in the entire, gigantic complex.

“Oh, no” Ali laughed a bit too loudly. “Just here for moral support” she nodded towards Lori. “Someone’s giving their new boyfriend a nice Christmas present this year” she grinned.

“I’m gonna try these on” Lori turned away towards the dressing rooms, blushing.

Ali, her back to Hannah, cringed as she watched Lori go. Fuck. That distraction backfired.

“Listen, Ali” Hannah put her hand on the brunette’s elbow to get her attention. “I, uh, this isn’t exactly where I wanted to do this, but...”

“Do what?” Ali turned to face her, trying hard to keep from scowling. 

Hannah’s pretty face looked anxious and she turned her head to see if anybody else they knew was nearby. When she determined the coast was clear she turned back to Ali and gave her a small, nervous smile. She felt stupid standing there with lingerie in her arms. It seemed like those two women were forever supposed to be reminded that they both had enjoyed Ashlyn’s body and all of its many splendors. Why shouldn’t there be sexy lingerie involved in the conversation that Hannah had been running through in her mind for almost 4 months? 

“I want to apologize” Hannah started, suddenly aware of just how dry her mouth was and how warm it had gotten in the store. Maybe it was just her, but Ali seemed to be getting pink too. “I’ve been trying to...all Fall” she swallowed and dropped her eyes for a second.

“Apologize for what?” Ali felt her temper start to rise. 

Now what the fuck had Hannah done? The brunette thought the visit had been going well so far. Granted it had not even been 2 full days yet, but still. She felt herself sigh and regretted it, realizing she sounded like a bitch for doing it, like she couldn’t be bothered to even talk to the redhead. Ali tried to fix it by smiling but it was too late.

“Well, I don’t mean to bother you” Hannah rolled her eyes, dropped her hand from Ali’s arm and started to turn away. “Just forget it.”

“No, I’m sorry, wait” Ali reached for her and caught her arm, tugging two pieces of lingerie and dropping them on the floor. “Oh...” she bent over quickly to retrieve the items before they got stepped on in the busy store.

Hannah stopped and turned when she felt Ali’s hand on her arm. She saw the lingerie fall and instinctively bent over to pick them back up again. The two women, adversaries it seemed in so many ways while still allies in others, smacked heads hard and yelped in surprise and pain.

“Oh!”  
“Shit!”

They both stood up, rubbing the tops of their foreheads and squinting from the hard knock. Ali felt dizzy for a second and reached to steady herself on the clothing rack next to them. Hannah pulled her hand down quickly to look at it and saw blood.

“Fuck” she mumbled and dropped the rest of the lingerie in her arms while she dug for some tissue in her purse.

“Here” Ali stuck her hand out with a wad of napkins leftover from the homemade cider donut she had scarfed down before coming into the store. “Are you ok?”

Hannah took the napkins, split off one and folded it against her forehead. She could already feel the knot forming and winced in pain.

“Ow, damn” she tried not to cry, but could feel a couple of tears spring from her eyes anyway. “Fuck that hurts.”

“Here” Ali pulled a half bottle of water out of her purse and poured some onto a couple of the napkins before pressing it gently to the small cut on Hannah’s forehead. “Can you...bend down a little bit?” she asked the taller woman, trying to get a better look at the wound as she dabbed at it.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry” Ali rolled her eyes and clucked. She was annoyed and she wasn’t sure why. But even though she wanted to, she couldn’t blame this on Hannah. Maybe that’s what was so annoying. “Just, hold still.”

“I can do it” Hannah reacted to the tone of Ali’s voice and pulled back from her touch. “Thanks” she scanned the busy store, looking for the exit so she could get some air.

Ali watched her go, part of her brain telling her to go after her and make sure she was ok, and part of her brain telling her to just let her go and be glad she was gone.

“Shit, your lingerie!” the brunette called after her, but Hannah didn’t stop.

It took almost fifteen minutes but Ali finally found Hannah sitting outside the store on a bench on the edge of the courtyard area where people sat to rest their feet and plan their next excursion. She was relieved to see Julie Donaldson checking out the cut on Hannah’s forehead with her careful, trained fingers.

“Here, you forgot your stuff” the brunette held out the bag of lingerie. “The receipts inside in case something’s not right. I wasn’t sure if you were trying them on or buying them” she shrugged. 

The truth was, she had no doubt that Hannah knew what size lingerie she wore and wasn’t going to need to try anything on. That didn’t seem like a good thing to say so she didn’t.

“Thanks” Hannah winced at Julie who rubbed an antiseptic wipe across the top of her forehead. The cut was right up near her hairline. “You didn’t have to do that, but...thanks. I’ll write you a check...”

“Forget it” Ali shook her head. “Merry Christmas” she smiled and was relieved that it felt sincere.

“Thanks for this too” the redhead moved her eyes towards the nurse who had given her strict instructions not to move her head. “It was you, right?”

“She called me when she saw you looking unsteady on your feet” Julie answered as she moved her hands away and gave the small cut one last look.

“I was in line at the register and I figured it couldn’t hurt” Ali shrugged and then patted Julie on the back. “I keep telling you we have the best neighbors in the whole world.” Julie and Ali exchanged a look. “Well, except for the assholes across the street. They can fuck right off.”

“You might need one stitch” the nurse spoke to the patient. “It’s right up at your hairline so you probably won’t see anything but a tiny scar, if you see it at all.” She waited while Hannah held up her small compact mirror and assessed the situation. “I can put a little butterfly bandage up there to be extra safe but I don’t think you need it. Your call.”

“Nah” Hannah closed her eyes and shook her head, wincing again and grimacing at herself for causing herself more pain. “Damn. I’m ok. I don’t need it. Thank you Julie.”

“We’ll keep an eye on it. The only thing I’m worried about is the cut getting bigger if the knot gets too large. As long as that doesn’t happen you should be fine. I think you have a minor concussion though so you’ll need to be still and take it easy...”

“We’ll have someone drive you home” Ali started to offer.

“Just sit your butt down here Krieger” Julie scooted back on the bench so Ali could sit down between she and Hannah. “You hit your head just as hard from what Hannah tells me. She said you were dizzy right afterward too, is that right?’

“Yeah, but it’s just because I stood up too fast. I’m ok.”

“Just sit, and be still, and let me look.”

“What the hell happened to you two?!” Sydney cackled as she walked up to the threesome on the bench a few minutes later. “Oh my God” her face froze with her mouth wide open and her eyebrows up to her hairline. “Did you finally duke it out and I missed it?! No fucking way. No fucking way!”

“Shhhhh...” Ali laughed, knowing her bestie was at least half-kidding. “You’re gonna get the security people over here if you keep that up” she tugged Sydney’s hand and shushed her again. “Ow, don’t make me laugh.”

“And no” Hannah sassed, “when we do have our cage fight we’ll be promoting the hell out of it and selling very expensive tickets. You can count on that” she smirked.

Ali and Sydney shared a quick, shocked look and then cracked up. So Hannah was aware of what everybody thought and seemed to be able to joke about it too. Interesting. Julie chuckled as she finished her examination of patient number 2.

“Another very mild concussion. You two are done for the day. I officially prescribe sitting still in a quiet area for the next several hours.”

Neither Ali nor Hannah wanted anybody else to change their plans just to drive them home early so they agreed to sit and wait in the quietest area they could find. Hannah’s head was killing her and Ali still felt a little dizzy, if she was being honest. So after lunch, the two women found themselves sitting side by side on a bench near the arts and crafts store which was decidedly less busy than most of the other stores with the bigger ticket items that day. They had both promised to stay there and not look at their phones or do anything too taxing on their brains. It was a long two hours, but it definitely could have been worse.

“I’ve never had a concussion before” Hannah spoke quietly after about a half hour of peaceful silence between the two women. “This is nothing compared to yours from last year though, right?”

“Yeah, that was bad” Ali agreed softly. “I don’t wish that on anybody.”

They were both quiet again for a few minutes before Ali spoke again.

“I watched Ash go through a couple of them, one was just as bad if not worse than mine, so I thought I knew what I was in for. But man” she shook her head ever so slightly from side to side, “having your brain be your enemy was really...terrifying.”

“I can’t even imagine.”

“It made me appreciate everything she went through for all those years, sacrificing her body to do what she did better than anybody else. I knew she was tough when I watched her go through that shoulder repair and the bruised ribs and everything, but trying to function while your brain is injured was something I just couldn’t have understood without going through it myself. It made her strength and determination even more amazing” Ali paused for a minute, trying not to let her emotions get the better of her. And failing. “She was really good you know. I mean, I don’t think you ever understood just how talented she was when she was playing” she felt her temper rising as the horrible words she had overhead that day she was measuring the windows at the big old house came back to her. “That used to really piss me off. She was probably the best keeper in the whole league and you just thought she sucked because the idiot coach of the national team didn’t rate her.”

“I was dumb about a lot of things back then” Hannah sighed, surprised by the topic of conversation but relieved to finally be having it out with the brunette, even if it was quiet and sedate. “I’ve admitted that to you before. But, in my defense, I had a different Ashlyn than you do.”

“What does that mean?” Ali turned to look at the redhead and regretted it as a wave of nausea swept over her. 

She returned her head to facing forward and that’s how they continued the rest of the conversation – both facing forward and speaking in quiet, subdued tones.

“I’m not saying I wasn’t horrible, I was. I look back on that time in my life and I just feel nothing but shame. But Ashlyn was different then too. She wasn’t...as present with me, not even with Meg...”

“You are NOT trying to tell me she didn’t make time for Meg...”

“No, I’m not saying that at all. You can’t see it because you’ve only ever seen the Ash you get. I’m not criticizing her. I’m just trying to explain it.”

“It sure sounds like criticism to me.”

“Ali, do you honestly think that if she was the way she is with you when she was with me that I would have ever let her go?”

Ali closed her mouth, the rebuttal she had ready fell away unspoken as she processed the words she had never considered before. They were quiet again. Hannah wondered if she had just destroyed what was left of the relationship they had struggled to maintain for all those years. Ali thought hard about whether it was actually possible that she might have sold Hannah just a little bit short. 

“She’s different with you” the redhead tried one more time, just in case there was a way to save things between she and Ali. “I don’t think it’s by choice or anything and I know” she paused for effect, “I KNOW I was horrible back then and I’m not making excuses for it. But she’s...better...with you. Maybe she’s more herself. All I know is she’s better with you, in every way, than she ever was with me. And, Jesus, how hard did I hit my goddamned head anyway” she chuckled nervously. “I can’t even believe I’m saying all of this to you right now...” she took a deep breath and then kept going. “That’s why I hated you so much. That’s why I was so afraid of you. I knew you meant something deeper to her...something I could never touch or see.” The redhead closed her eyes for a minute, her heart racing as the confession kept coming out of her. “It made me crazy with jealousy” she opened her eyes, but kept them straight ahead, never wanting to look at Ali Krieger ever again as long as she lived. “And, sometimes even now I get jealous of you, of the way she is with you and the way you two are together. That’s what happened in May, with the BC trip with Meg. I...I’ve been meaning to apologize to you...that’s what I was going to tell you in the store this morning before we...”

“Before we cracked our skulls together like a couple of nervous teenagers fighting over some cute boy in high school?” Ali couldn’t keep the smile from her lips. 

“Holy hell, that’s exactly what it’s been like all these years, hasn’t it?”

“A little bit” Ali nodded carefully. “Yeah. Except it’s a cute girl.”

“I didn’t mean what I said about you...staying in your own lane. I’ve told Ashlyn a million times how great you are with Meg and how lucky we are, we all are, to have you. I swear...”

“I know” Ali sighed. “She’s told me. Meg too. And you’ve told me yourself a couple of times. I don’t know why I’m so insecure around you. I always have been and maybe I always will be. I don’t fucking know.” 

“You’re insecure around me?” Hannah had to turn and look at the brunette to see if she was playing a joke on her or something. The idea was that unbelievable to her. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I wish I was joking.”

“Wow. I don’t know what to say to that.”

“Neither do I.”

For the first time since they sat down as invalids for the afternoon, the quiet space in their conversation was awkward. They both felt like they had said too much but still had more they needed to share. 15 years of insecurity, resentment, dislike, and jealousy made it difficult to navigate through these murky waters they found themselves in now. 

“You’ve given me a lot to think about Hannah. I didn’t expect that and I...I appreciate your honesty. Thank you.”

“You’re a great mom Ali. I was full of shit back in May. I’m sorry. And I’m sorry I apologized to Ashlyn and Meg but never found the guts to tell you too. You’re a lot of things I’ll never be and I’m just gonna have to learn to live with that” she let out a sad sigh. “Hopefully someday before I die” she chuckled and rolled her eyes at herself. “I mean really, I’m old enough to know better. It’s just embarrassing...”

“I couldn’t agree more” Ali chuckled too. “About me! I mean about me too!” she clarified quickly, realizing what she said could be misconstrued. “I’ve got just as much to be embarrassed about, believe me.” They both laughed, relief evident in both women. “I’ve always said you were a good mom, even back when things were...not great between us. I always gave you credit for that.”

“I know, Ash told me. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. You deserve a ton of credit. Meg is an incredible young woman.”

“I don’t know if we’ll ever be friends...” Hannah stuck her neck out again, not sure where she was still finding the courage. “But maybe, hopefully, we don’t have to be low-key enemies anymore. I’d really like that.”

“I would too” the two adversaries shared a quick smile before looking straight ahead again. “And I know Ashlyn would love it.”

“Meg too.”

There was another lull in the conversation and they saw Meg and Emma walking their way, still a good distance away and busy talking with each other. There was a big bag from Victoria’s Secret in the redhead’s hand and both invalids groaned quietly at the same time.

“Oh boy, look at the size of that bag” Ali chuckled.

“How many tiny pieces of lingerie does she need?!” Hannah gasped. “I suppose I have you to thank for this?”

“Don’t look at me” the brunette laughed, louder than she should have and rubbed her aching head. “I had nothing to do with that.”

Meg gave them a wave with her free hand and then a hang loose gesture as the young women got closer. The invalids both spoke at the same time, realizing who had given the freshman her lingerie advice...

“Ashlyn.”

//

Saturday afternoon Ashlyn started feeling overwhelmed and out of sorts with all of the commotion in the big old house. It surprised her because she was having a good time and enjoying everybody’s company, especially now that Ali and Hannah had somehow made peace with each other. The only other family member that added stress to the keeper’s life on a consistent basis was Aunt Becky but she had gone home with the rest of the NH Kriegers on Thursday evening. Ashlyn was genuinely stumped as to why she needed to find a quiet place for herself that afternoon, but she didn’t take the time to figure it out or fight it. She was getting smarter and learning from her mistakes, even though it didn’t always seem like it to other people looking in. Instead of swallowing the growing unease she was feeling, she quietly removed herself from the bustling house and went into the garage. She didn’t even bother going all the way upstairs, choosing to sit right on the third step and do one of her PTSD exercises in the dimly lit space. It was just after 4pm and almost dark outside. The only light was the automatic light that came on when the side door to the garage was opened. It was chilly in there because, even though it was fully insulated, they only turned the heat up if one of them was using the office. The keeper finished one exercise and immediately started another one, feeling the stillness of the room already making a positive difference for her struggling psyche.

“Here you are” Chris Harris stated the obvious a few minutes later when he opened the side door to the garage and almost stumbled into his sister. “Hey there” he smiled and closed the door behind him.

“Hey Bubba.”

“You ok?” he looked around, trying to determine what his sister was getting out of the space. “Am I...interrupting anything?”

“Does it look like you’re interrupting anything?” she smiled at him, touched by how quiet he was trying to be. When he didn’t answer, she spoke again. “No, you’re good” she sighed. “You caught me.”

“Well, yeah, it looks that way, but umm...” he looked around some more, “not for nothing but, your woman cave sucks.”

Ashlyn laughed out loud and slapped her knee. Chris laughed along with her and was happy to see that she really did look ok. No tears on her face, not too many worry lines, big smile and hearty laugh on full display.

“My woman cave, that’s funny” she chuckled as she settled down again. “That’s my studio, by the way. Get it right next time, will ya?”

“Oh, yeah, my bad” he rolled his eyes. “But see, here’s the thing, you’re not supposed to loan your woman cave out to guests. That’s why they can’t ever be too nice. You think you did the right thing, making it all fancy up there and comfortable and cool...” he was walking around the open space in the garage between the workbench on the far side and the counter top on the near side, closest to the house. “And look what happened? Your ex-girlfriend’s staying in it and messing everything up!”

They both laughed again. Deep, belly laughs that did cause tears, but the best kind of tears. Chris rolled one of the two steel stools from the workbench to the center of the garage, close to the stairs and sat on it, spinning the stool around like a little kid, only slower. He stopped himself with a big strong hand on the staircase and then pushed himself backwards towards the overhead garage door at the front of the garage that they hardly ever opened, enjoying the way the wheels of the stool travelled across the smooth cement floor. Ashlyn watched her big brother with a small smile on her face until she had forgotten what she was doing out there in the first place.

“You know you want some of this” he teased, pushing himself over to the workbench where the other stool sat unused. “Come on, there’s a race here that’s just waiting to happen little sis” he hooked the bottom rung of the stool with his foot and pushed it towards the stairs. “Don’t pretend you’re all grown up and mature now. I know better. You’re always gonna be Bashy to me” he grinned and wheeled himself, spinning around on the stool at the same time, back to the middle of the garage with a laugh. “Hey, I forgot to tell you what my New Year’s Resolution is gonna be next year” his eyes flashed with mischief as he held his sister’s gaze for a few seconds. 

“Oh yeah, what’s that?” Ashlyn shook her head in anticipation of whatever dumb joke he was going to make at her expense.

“I’m gonna get all our kids to call you Bashy before the end of next year. I can’t wait!” he laughed at his own joke and Ashlyn couldn’t help but chuckle at him.

“You’re an idiot” she shook her head at him but all he saw was the smile on her face.

“Yeah, but I’m an idiot who can still beat your ass in a race across this garage” he wagged his eyebrows at the empty stool near her.

“Keep dreaming.”

“You’re just chicken, as usual, I get it” he needled her. “Some things will never change” he shrugged. “You’ll always be afraid you’ll lose to me...”

“Alright, shut up you ass” Ashlyn finally took the bait and walked over to the empty stool. “God you talk a lot, did anybody ever tell you that? I mean really, you talk more than all of the women in that house put together” she nodded towards the big old house and shook her head in mock disgust.

“Yeah, whatever” he waved her off. “Just get on your stool and get over here so I can kick your ass.”

Thirty minutes later the two siblings were sweating and laughing and panting for breath as they negotiated their way around the small racetrack they had mapped out in the cramped space. It was really more of an obstacle course by the time they were done with it and they added in a kickball to make it more interesting. The game they had come up with was a bastardized version of polo, but they rode the wheeled stools – steered and propelled by ski poles from the back storage area of the garage – instead of polo ponies. After another thirty minutes they agreed to stop with the score tied so neither of them would have to lose. They joked about it being their Christmas gift to each other.

“That’s my Bashy” Chris chuckled as they drank bottles of water from the mini fridge under the counter. 

Ashlyn saw him eye the bottles of beer in the fridge and felt enormous pride as he closed the fridge door and pushed himself on his stool all the way to the other side of the garage.

“Everything good with you?” she asked after a few quiet minutes of hydrating and catching their breath. “Everybody seems good. You good?”

“I’m awesome” he grinned back at her, enjoying the look of annoyance on her face. “Seriously, I’m doing great. I’m always gonna want a drink I think” he nodded towards the fridge. “But I like that reminder I get. I want it and I feel that want like an alarm in my body now. It keeps me right. It scares the fuck out of me sometimes, how much I want one of those beers. But I think that’s why it’s working so well this time.”

“You weren’t scared enough before?” her voice was pensive as she tried to follow his logic. “Before this last time?”

“Nah” he shook his head. “I’ve never felt anything like this fear now” he looked down at the water bottle in his big hands, the same big hands that had almost choked the life out of the woman sitting with him at that very moment. “I can’t...” his voice caught in his throat. “I did so much fucking damage last time. There are things I broke that I can’t ever repair” he lifted his eyes and gave his sister the saddest look she had ever seen from him. “I think about it every single day and that regret and that fear are what keep me sober.”

“I’m glad to hear that Bubba” she gave him a warm smile.

After another short pause, the big man spoke again.

“So what are you doing out here sis?”

She looked at him and knew that he had her number. She could tell by the cockiness in his eyes that he had figured out she was hiding in the garage for a very specific reason and he probably even knew the reason. He had been brutally honest with her about his struggle to stay sober. She paid him back in kind.

“I have these times where I start to feel like I can’t cope with...everything, anything, sometimes I don’t know the difference between those two things” she admitted. “There’s a lot going on in there” she nodded towards the house and smiled. “It’s all good stuff and I want to be a part of all of it, but sometimes...”

“You just need a break, to get your head right again, right?”

“Exactly. I came out here to do a couple of exercises my shrink taught me to help deal with my PTSD.”

“And I came and fucked up your quiet time” the big man looked on sadly. “I’m sorry Ash. You should have told me...”

“No” she smiled. “This was awesome. Way better than the boring old exercise I was about to do next.”

“Really?”

“Totally.”

They took a few minutes and started to put the garage back together, picking up and putting away things they had knocked over as they careened around the small area like fools on stools. Ashlyn kept talking as they worked and Chris listened, his heart breaking to hear the anguish in his sister’s voice.

“I can’t get her face out of my head sometimes. That fat, ugly, miserable, fucked-up face” she shook her head, trying to shake the face inside her brain out of focus. “Most days I’m ok, and I’m getting better all the time. Mattie, my shrink, she thinks I’m making good progress and I trust her.”

“That’s good then” he nodded supportively.

“It is, and I’m grateful. It’s been hard but I do feel better about it. I mean, I think it’s always going to bother me. I almost killed her Chris” her voice was barely more than a whisper as she finished the sentence. “It’s been hard, trying to figure out how to live with that” she swallowed hard. “Ali’s great, she always tries to help me, or give me space, whatever it is I need...”

“But she doesn’t understand” he finished her sentence for her with a knowing look on his big, sweet face. “How could she though? Ali didn’t have her hands around her throat. Ali wasn’t the one squeezing the life out of her. How could she possibly understand how awful it felt while it was happening? How could she know how terrible it feels even now? Nobody knows what it feels like, until they’re in that position and that’s a blessing really” he cleared his throat as his emotions started to get away from him. “I tell Beth the same thing all the time. I don’t ever want her to feel...what I felt that night. I don’t ever want her to feel what I feel more often than I even want to admit. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.”

“Jesus Chris, I never even thought about that” Ashlyn’s face was pale and her eyebrows shot up as the realization hit her. “Fuck man. What the fuck? Jesus.”

“I’ve been wanting to talk with you about it all year, but...I just...well, it’s hard to know if it’s a good idea or not. I still don’t know if I should have said anything” he studied her stunned face, hoping to see an answer to the question. “I’m sorry if I made it all worse...”

“No, you didn’t” Ashlyn cut him off, her voice choked and ragged as her mind reeled. “I’m completely freaked out right now because you just blew my fucking mind. But I think...I think it’ll be so good to be able to talk to someone about it. Someone who knows what I’m talking about. Someone who knows how terrible it feels knowing I almost took somebody’s life with my bare hands. Fuck Bubba, sometimes I get sick to my stomach when I think about it. She was the fucking devil but, fuck man. I almost killed her” she met her brother’s kind eyes as he listened to every word she said. “I’m having a hard time learning to live with that.”

“You’re doing pretty good little sis” he smiled softly at her, nothing but love in his eyes. “You can do it. You can get past it. I know you will.” He was quiet for a few seconds before sharing one last thing with his brave, fragile sister. “Just be glad she wasn’t someone you loved with all your heart.”

//

It must have been something about having big sister and cousin Meg staying with them in the big old house for four whole days that got the younger kids asking so many questions. Meg didn’t seem to mind, she was happy to spend time with them as well as the rest of the family. She took the dogs for walks with Grandpa Mike and Chris Harris. She baked cookies with Caro and Tammye and then again with Deb and most of the kids. She helped Ali and Ashlyn decorate the house for Christmas which turned out to be mildly controlled chaos with so many people ‘helping’. Surprisingly, both Ashlyn and Ali were fine with the less organized decorating plan that year. The brunette had missed so much of the Christmas fun the year before that she was happy just to be hanging ornaments on the tree at all. She certainly wasn’t going to be fussy about which ones went where.

It was Sunday morning and Ashlyn was awake before Ali. She lay there watching her wife’s form from the back, both women on their left sides but not spooning. Ali’s torso was rising and falling with every deep, slumber-filled breath and the keeper smiled sleepily at the comforting sight. Ashlyn looked over her shoulder at the clock on her nightstand and wondered where the heck Dodge was. The boy was always awake by 6:30am and usually closer to 6:15am. It was already 7:30am and there had been no little visitors to the master bedroom. Part of the keeper wanted to snuggle up to her beautiful brunette and go back to sleep. The bed was so cozy and she couldn’t remember the last time they had slept in like that. But part of her wanted to figure out where the kids were and then go down and make a big breakfast for everybody. It was the last day of the long weekend and the Florida group would all be heading to the airport right after lunch. Ashlyn didn’t want to sleep away the last few hours of her family’s visit.

“Mmmm...” Ali stretched and made a half yawn-half squeal as she rolled over onto her right side, facing her keeper. “Morning babe” she smiled but it was soft and sleepy and it melted Ashlyn’s heart.

“Hi beautiful” the keeper scooted closer and gave Ali’s lips a soft kiss.

“How are we the only people in this bedroom if it’s already 7:30am?” the brunette asked through another yawn as she snuggled into her wife’s warm body. “Am I dreaming?”

“Nope. Just me and you...but I’m getting up...”

“Noooooo...” Ali whined and wrapped her arm and leg around the blonde’s body, holding her tightly in place. “Stay with me. There are other adults in the house. They’ll come get us if somebody’s dying.”

“Love your optimism hon” Ashlyn chuckled and kissed her head. “But the only other adults here are Meg and Hannah...”

“Where are the kids?” Ali pulled back, suddenly matching her wife’s nagging curiosity about why the house was so quiet and why there were no young Kriegers pestering them for breakfast.

“There she is” the keeper giggled and gave Ali another kiss. “Wide awake now, huh?”

“Yeah. Ugh...” Ali stretched again, letting her keeper get up out of the bed but not taking her eyes off of her. She watched her go into the bathroom and knew she was peeing and brushing her teeth. “Will you pee for me too?” she laughed and reached for her glasses, still unwilling to get up and out of bed yet.

“I can’t do that” Ashlyn walked to her wife’s side of the bed, “but I can help you with this” she smiled as she held out Ali’s toothbrush, already wet and full of just the right amount of toothpaste.

“I’ll take it” the brunette’s face jumped into a nose-wrinkling grin. 

“Open up, sugarplum.”

“You’re not gonna brush for me too?” she teased as she sat up after Ashlyn carefully put the toothbrush into her mouth for her.

“Do you really want me to?” the keeper quirked an eyebrow from the foot of the bed and then shook her head at her playful wife.

“No” Ali laughed. “That never works, does it?”

The brunette sat up in bed, brushing her teeth and watching her wife pull on joggers and a light sweatshirt. She ran her hands through her messy hair and looked over at the brunette for approval.

“You look good babe” Ali mumbled as she hopped out of bed on Ashlyn’s side, closer to the bathroom so she could spit.

“I’m gonna make a big breakfast...” the keeper stuck her head into the bathroom while Ali was peeing. “Will you check on the kids?”

“I’m on it. Come kiss me now that my mouth is minty fresh” she leaned forward, her lips puckered.

“You’re such a romantic, Krieger” Ashlyn chuckled as she bent over her wife, still on the toilet, and gave her a slow, sweet kiss that they both hummed into. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

By the time Ali walked through all four bedrooms on the second floor, finding them all empty, her phone dinged and she saw a text from her keeper telling her the boys were all in the basement showing Hannah how to play Mario Bros. The brunette shook her head in surprise and texted back that she would find the girls. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that the girls must be up in Meg’s room on the third floor. Ali climbed the front stairs and peeked inside the open door. Meg was sitting in bed, leaning up against the headboard and Lizzy, Josie, and Lily were sitting around her with their blankies and favorite stuffed animals that they all still slept with. Ali stood on the top step and listened, not wanting to interrupt the sweet moment.

“So you don’t have a boyfriend at college?” Lizzy asked. The confident young girl would be turning 11 in January and had lots of questions that visit.

“Nope” Meg shook her head and popped the ‘p’. “I don’t have time for a boyfriend. I have all my soccer practices and games and stuff. And I’ve got my classes, which are a lot harder than high school was, man” she sighed, “I have this biology class that is kicking my ass...”

Lily giggled at the swear word and was soon joined by all three other girls.

“Oops. Sorry” Meg made an eek face. “Do you have a boyfriend miss Liz?”

The girl blushed and shook her head emphatically. “No.”

“Have you kissed a boy yet?” Josie asked her cousin, who was a year and a half older.

“No” Lizzy shook her head again. “How can I kiss a boy if I don’t have a boyfriend?” she scoffed.

“Well you can kiss somebody even if you don’t have a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, you know” Meg blew three more little minds.

“You can?” Lizzy’s mouth was open in shock.

“Sure” Meg chuckled and poked the girl with her foot, still underneath the covers. “It’s not a great idea to go around kissing all sorts of random people, but if you like somebody and they like you and you both want to kiss, you can do that.”

“Have you kissed a boy?” Lily asked Meg, her 7-1/2 year age showing with the impossibly innocent question.

“Of course she has” Josie chastised her little sister and rolled her eyes, which made Meg giggle.

“That’s a fair question, we’ve never really talked about this before, have we Lils?” Meg poked the girl on the other side of her legs with her other foot, making Lily giggle and bury her face in her pink blankie. “Yes, I have kissed a boy” she nodded and let a few seconds go by, trying to decide how far to take the conversation. The Thursday night discussion from the basement fresh in her mind, she decided to make sure they all knew they could kiss both boys and girls if they wanted. “And I’ve kissed a girl.”

Three sets of wide eyes stared back at the college freshman and even Ali’s mouth fell open from her place in the hallway.

“But, why did you kiss a girl?” Lizzy tilted her head, trying to understand.

“I was pretty sure I only liked boys but I thought I might like girls too, well, this one girl anyway, so I tried it” Meg shrugged. “We were 15 and it was pretty good, but it turns out, I only like boys. At least so far anyway.”

“How old were you?” Josie asked, painfully aware of how much younger she was than Lizzy who was clearly thinking a lot more about kissing people.

“When I kissed the girl?...15...”

“No, when you had your first kiss?” the younger redhead clarified shyly.

“Oh, geez, let me think” Meg rubbed her face and tried to remember. “Umm...my first kiss was when I was in 7th grade, so I was...12” she nodded.

“Who did you kiss?”  
“Where was it?”  
“Was he your boyfriend?”

All three girls asked at the same time, making Meg laugh at how cute and curious they were. Ali decided she should rescue the young woman, knowing Meg would probably tolerate a lot more questions even if she didn’t really want to. Ali wasn’t even sure if the poor girl had been able to pee yet! She was reminded that she hadn’t had her coffee yet either and knew that Meg hadn’t had hers.

“Hey ladies, good morning” the brunette knocked on the open door and walked into the room with a big smile on her face.

“Mommy” Lily grinned from ear to ear at her and Ali loved how happy her young children still were to see her in the morning.

Lizzy and Josie both had guilty looks on their faces, which worried the brunette a bit. Meg rolled her eyes and grinned as Ali walked to the foot of the bed and hugged Lily.

“Come sit with us” the little blonde moved closer to Meg to make room for Ali on the bed.

Ali looked at Meg who nodded, and then joined the girls on the bed.

“What are we talking about up here” Ali asked after giving hugs to everybody else. “You’re so quiet I had to come all the way up to see if anybody was up here.”

The same dynamic was on display again – Lizzy and Josie looked embarrassed, Meg looked amused, and Lily didn’t quite understand any of those reactions and was just excited to be part of the group.

“Meggie’s telling us about her first kiss!” the youngest explained adorably and rested her head on Ali’s thigh.

“Oh really” Ali’s eyebrows went up. “And is Meggie ok with answering all your questions? Did anybody ask her? Some people don’t feel comfortable talking about those private moments...”

“It’s ok” Meg reached her long arm out in front of each girl so they could give her five. She finished with Ali and said, “I don’t mind. I wish I had cousins and sisters to talk to when I was little. These guys are lucky. You always have to look out for each other and be there for each other, right? That’s the deal” she looked expectantly at the three girls. “All of us, and Cristina, family girls, right?”

The girls all nodded and smiled and put their hands in for a team huddle over Meg’s long legs and Ali felt her heart swell with love for the kind-hearted college freshman. She had always been patient with the younger kids, but this new, more mature, grown up version of Meg Doucette was pretty special.

“Well ok then” the brunette giggled and gave Lily another hug when she plopped back into her lap after the huddle. “Don’t let me stop you...” she started to get up off the bed when Lily’s little voice spoke again

“When was your first kiss Mommy?”

“Yeah, when was your first kiss?” Meg egged the girls on, having already heard the story during one of her private talks with the brunette many years ago.

“Was it with a boy or a girl?” Lizzy asked, remembering the new info she had learned about Aunty Ali on Thursday night.

“Well, my very first kiss was with a boy named Bradley who I thought was very cute. We were in 6th grade so I was 11 and I had a crush on him” she added conspiratorially and then proceeded to tell them the same story she had told Ashlyn during her first visit down to Satellite Beach when they were still just friends. “He kept his lips really tight against his teeth like this though” she demonstrated and made them all laugh, “so it wasn’t a very good kiss. But I’ll always remember it because it was my first one.”

“When did you kiss your first girl?” Meg asked, genuinely curious. “You missed it earlier, I kissed a girl my sophomore year” she smiled softly, hoping she hadn’t pushed too far. But Ali had always answered her questions for her. She didn’t think that was going to change now. “We were talking about how you can kiss boys or girls if that’s who you like.”

“Ah, gotcha” Ali smiled back at the freshman, trying to tell her how much she admired her with just the sincerity in her eyes. “Well, I kissed a girl my sophomore year of high school too. I was 14 and it wasn’t that great either” she admitted honestly. “Turns out you get better at kissing the more you do it.”

“Like practice?” Josie looked shocked.

“Yes” Ali laughed. “Exactly. Like practicing anything. The more you do it the better you get at it.”

“But who do you practice kissing with?” Lizzy looked confused.

“Well, you don’t really practice kissing” Ali tried to explain, realizing this was going to be a tough one. “Umm, because with kissing you have another person who has to want to kiss you back, you just get better the more you do it. You don’t really practice...”

Meg winked at the brunette and they shared a private little eyeroll.

“But Mama’s a good kisser, right?” Josie asked. “You guys practice a lot so she must be good.”

Both Meg and Ali had to stifle laughs and keep straight faces but it was really hard to pull off. That was one of the cutest things either of them had ever heard any of the kids say.

“Mama is the best kisser” Ali finally replied, trying to find the right way to answer without getting too scandalous. She paused for a minute, looking at the four faces that were hanging on her every word. “When you fall in love with someone, when you find the one who you want to spend the rest of your life with and have a family with...everything is better. The hugs, the laughter, the kisses” she felt her cheeks blushing a bit as she shared one of the most important truths of her life. There was nothing she wanted more for any of the girls on the bed than to find true love in their lives. “That’s how it is for Mama and me. Mama is the best kisser in the whole world, for me. And you lovely ladies will all find your own someone who is the best kisser for you. I just know it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is one of my all-time favorite chapters ever. Like, way up at the top of the list. Top 3 at least. I don't know why I'm telling you this...


	14. One Year Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning

Both Ashlyn and Ali confessed to their besties how hard it was for them going through the December holiday rush that year. The NE Revs exciting playoff success was a wonderful distraction, but it only lasted until Saturday December 7th. That was the night the MLS Cup Final was played out in LA. The underdog Revs won the game and had captured their very first MLS Championship after making it to the big game 5 times previously. Jonathan Kraft was beside himself as he accepted the Cup down on the pitch after the tough game had been won. Everybody in the packed LA stadium spared a thought, however brief, for the dearly departed Robert Kraft who had come so close to seeing this particular dream come true. Tanner Wild didn’t win any MVP awards or individual recognition for his excellent performances all throughout the playoffs, but anybody who knew good soccer knew he had played an integral part in the team’s success. It was a magical moment for Tanner, the Wilds and the Kriegers, and Ashlyn and Ali both regretted not making the trip West to watch the game live. Only Ken, Vicki, Koty and Brianna had been in the stadium to see Tanner reach the pinnacle of his professional soccer career.

Both wives knew they needed to stay home with their kids to try and keep this Christmas season on track. They were feeling anxious about the one-year anniversary of the attack in Ali’s office and they decided to ask for help. Sydney and Whitney and Ken and Vicki and Deb were all there for the young Krieger family as they did their best to deal with the memories and flashbacks from the previous December. Everybody thought it was smart for the family to go to Florida for Christmas that year. The two moms were worried that they were running from something that they needed to face – something that would only come back to haunt them the following year if they didn’t deal with it. But their friends and family and, more importantly, their therapist agreed that getting away was a good idea that year. The memories would still be there next Christmas – the important difference would be that Ali and Ashlyn would be a whole year stronger and better able to handle it all then.

Christmas was on Wednesday that year so they made plans to fly to Melbourne, FL on Christmas Eve morning. Josie had a piano solo in the holiday concert that was being performed Monday evening, December 23rd, and nobody wanted to ask her to miss that. They came back to Gloucester on Sunday, December 29th so Drew could play in a basketball tournament but both moms thought the trip would be long enough to clear everybody’s heads. The kids were nonplussed about the whole thing. It was Ali and Ashlyn that were having the hard time and they never pretended otherwise.

In the four weeks between Thanksgiving weekend and Christmas Eve the young Krieger family did all of their favorite holiday things. Each meaningful event made both Ashlyn and Ali feel better and then better again. They cut down their own Christmas tree and decorated it with all of their cousins before Thanksgiving weekend was even over. They made Christmas cookies for their neighbors and delivered them as a family. They brought the dogs with them and Drew pulled the wagon that held all the decorative tins full of yummy holiday cookies. The two moms made a tough decision, but one they ultimately felt was best for their whole family – they skipped the Pitmans, their horrible new neighbors across the street. 

Relations had not improved in the five months since Oliver Pitman had broken Lily’s leg. In addition to the cold-shoulder and hostile stares the Kriegers received from the three eldest Pitmans anytime they encountered each other in the neighborhood, Oliver continued to bully all of the kids on the street. And Andy Pitman exhibited the same boorish behavior in his interactions with the other parents as well. He was the jackass who pointed his leafblower into his neighbors’ yards instead of doing the work and picking up his own goddamned leaves. Oliver could frequently be seen tossing his empty McDonald’s bag onto people’s lawns as he rode his bike back home in the afternoon. The big surprise had been Brittany, Oliver’s mom. The neighborhood as a whole had assumed that Brittany was a long-suffering wife who was embarrassed or ashamed of her husband and son’s behavior. They painted her, in their own minds anyway, as a victim, along with sweet little Bella and her genuine goodness. But it was not so. As much as they all tried to root for Brittany, the woman wasn’t much better than her husband or son. The kindest of the neighbors continued to believe that she had once been good – how else could the kindness of Bella be explained? – but had gradually been sucked into the vortex of cruelty and arrogance and bigotry that engulfed her home and family. Brittany was petty and selfish and heartless when it came to the other children who came in contact with her own kids. She was the dance mom who would sabotage another little girl’s costume or music before her routine even started. She was brutal, just like her husband and son, but she was sneakier about it so it seemed less offensive. 

There had also been other instances of non-neighborly behavior but nobody could prove it was the shitty Pitmans. Everybody knew it was them though. Bella continued to be good and kind but her brother and her father were the biggest assholes in the entire area. Mrs. Ortiz, the grandmother of the Rivera family who lived right next to the Pitmans, had been the recipient of some nasty letters over the course of the summer and Fall. The Donaldsons, next door to the big old house, had their tires slashed. Somebody had trashed the treehouse in the empty lot. The outside walls were painted with vile slurs and graffiti and the interior was smeared with what everybody hoped was dog shit and not human shit. The McPhails, up on the corner at the top of the street, had to go through an expensive car repair when somebody put sugar in the gas tank. The neighbors on the other side of the Pitmans, the Evans family, had their cat mysteriously disappear – which was by far the most unsettling of all the unexplained events.

As the various families began to share their own stories about the new, nasty problems in their quiet little neighborhood, it became clear to them all that the rotten new neighbors were behind all of it. It was at one of the holiday gatherings that December that it all came into clear focus for everybody. Shortly afterwards, the neighbors all got together at the Donaldson’s house and made a joint police complaint with Officer Fulkerson. There wasn’t much he could do without any proof of wrongdoing, but the smart officer knew most of the neighborhood pretty well. He made his own observation in the complaint, corroborating much of what had been reported about Lily’s broken leg. He also noted that in his previous dealings with the neighbors filing the joint complaint he had found them to be honest and good people. Nobody expected much to change when it came to the awful Pitmans, but they remained hopeful anyway. Officer Fulkerson, for his part, made sure to drive down the street as often as possible – who knew? maybe he would get lucky and catch one of the fuckers in the act. 

The hardest part of the holidays for Ashlyn and Ali was the Knight-Harris party. Neither of them had made it to the previous one and they were nervous about the party this year. Making matters worse was the fact that the party was held on Friday, December 13th. They always scheduled it for the second Friday of the month but even no-nonsense Whitney noted the superstitious date with alarm. But they did it. They got dressed up, got Ken and Vicki to babysit for the kids, and went to the K-H holiday party. Ali felt uncomfortable from the get-go, but she realized that most of what she was feeling was because she hadn’t been very present in the physical office that year. She didn’t feel good about the disconnect, at all. She vowed to conquer her fear of her office in the New Year, or, at the very least, find another office so she could get the fuck back to work. She hated feeling like she didn’t know the people she worked with anymore.

The young Krieger family did their annual Nutcracker excursion and danced like princes and princesses at the MHI gala the week after the K-H party. They did their Christmas shopping and gift wrapping and carol-singing early and often and joyfully. Ali had missed much of the merry-making the year before and she was a little afraid that she might never love one of her favorite times of year the same way again. But all it took was having the house decorated to renew her Christmas spirit. She was so grateful to be able to participate fully this year that she felt that Christmas spirit more devoutly than usual – and that was saying a lot. The only thing she missed at Christmas, besides the snow of New England, was Meg. After finishing her final exams the week before Christmas, the college freshman flew to DC to see her friends and celebrate the holidays with her mother. All of the Kriegers and Harrises missed her but they felt greedy wanting more of her time. Having her in Boston for college that semester was the best thing that had happened to the family that year and even Meg could feel it.

//

“Hey, can I talk to you?” Ali asked her brother-in-law as he was shaking out beach towels and hanging them to dry on the deck railing of Tammye and Carol’s beach house one afternoon during Christmas week. 

“Sure” Chris felt nervous, even though he and Ali had made good progress on their frayed relationship since the brunette had first confessed her fear to him back during the summer of the stalker.

It hadn’t been easy but she had done it. She had been inspired by her talks with Vicki and Ashlyn and Dr. Mattie Olsen last summer. Ali and Ashlyn had Facetimed Chris and Beth to talk to them about the brunette’s newly discovered fear of the big man – specific to when he was in the big old house with them. It hadn’t gone well. Both Chris and Beth were upset to find out that Ali was still struggling with after-effects of that horrible Thanksgiving from hell. They felt as if the brunette had been keeping things from them and a few levels of trust had been broken during that FaceTime call. But Ashlyn had her own talks with her brother and sister-in-law to try and explain things. Over the course of the next few weeks that summer, they gradually came to comprehend what Ali was going through and what she thought she needed to get past it all. Of course, by that time Emily Quindlen had infiltrated the lives of Ali and Ashlyn and the two moms had to focus on the stalker that Fall instead of healing Ali’s relationship with Chris. 

But in 2030 progress had been made. Slow, but steady progress that had culminated in a successful visit from the Harris clan for Thanksgiving. Granted, Chris and Beth hadn’t stayed at the big old house that time, only Johnny and Lizzy had. But Ali, with Ashlyn always watchful and ready to step in or step between or pull Ali out, made herself sit in the same room with Chris during the visit. The brunette knew she wasn’t going to be able to sit there and be perfectly fine with him yet. Not yet. It would just take some more time. But she could feel the difference the 16 months since that scary 4th of July had already made. Ali Krieger had never been afraid of hard work, especially not if she could see tangible evidence of progress along the way.

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad” Ali put her big brother-in-law at ease and gave him a sincere smile as she closed the sliding door of the beach house behind her and moved across the deck towards the sand beyond it. “Wanna take a walk?”

They strode through the deep sand and made their way down towards the ocean where the walking was easier before either of them said another word.

“Are you ok?” Chris finally asked, unable to bear the suspense another minute. “Did I...do something...?”

“I’m good, I promise” she smiled up at him again, regretting that she had just grabbed a thin cotton button up shirt on her way out of the beach house instead of the wind-breaker next to it. 

The last week of December was still chilly when the wind picked up, even if they were in Central Florida. Ali found herself wishing she could give Chris a hug like she had done a million times before, but she just wasn’t there yet. She picked up her pace, knowing her body would warm up when she got it pumping. 

“Ok, well then what’s going on? Is Ash ok? You’re starting to freak me out a little bit” the big man chuckled nervously as he walked faster to match Ali’s pace. His long legs still needed half as many steps as her shorter ones did though.

“Two things actually” Ali took a breath before continuing. “First is I want to thank you for...telling Ashlyn everything you did, when you guys talked in the garage during Thanksgiving weekend” she nodded and kept her eyes forward as they walked through the cool sand, side by side. 

She could feel Chris stiffen and waited for him to say something, anything, but he couldn’t get any words to come out of his mouth.

“She told me” the brunette found the courage to look over and up at him, surprised by how pale his face had gotten. “I never once thought of it either – how similar the two things might be - but I’m really glad you did” she looked ahead again. “She doesn’t like to talk about it, not with me anyway, or Whit either...”

“Yeah, umm...I don’t...” he stammered, unable to discuss how both he and his sister had nearly choked another human being to death.

“It’s ok, you don’t have to say anything” Ali’s voice was even and steady as it had been all along. It should have been because she had practiced this conversation in her head a dozen times since arriving in Florida four days earlier. “I just wanted to tell you that it meant a lot to her, and that it means a lot to me. It couldn’t have been easy and...” she took a deep breath. “I don’t know, just, thank you” she shrugged, hoping to end the incredibly awkward conversation there.

Chris still didn’t say anything and they kept walking for another ten minutes or so, both of them starting to breathe a bit harder because of their pace. They got to the spot on the beach where they usually turned around and their bodies seemed to take over for them. Chris stayed on the ocean side of the pair again, after they reversed direction, blocking as much of the wind with his big frame as possible, just as Ashlyn would have done in his place. Ali smiled to herself at the move. There it was, that Harris hospitality and chivalry that Ali was so used to and so appreciative of in her sweet keeper. It was a welcome reminder for her that the big man next to her was such an integral part of Ashlyn, for all his faults and failures. The brunette knew that her wife relied on Chris, her big brother, in some of her darkest times and had done so throughout her entire life. They had been through a lot together and would always have a special bond, not unlike the one Ali shared with her own brother. Chris and Ashlyn were so much alike, and very different, but their similarities were very evident to the brunette in that moment on the beach.

“So what’s the second thing?” Chris asked tentatively, trying to prepare himself for another difficult subject. He thought about calling his sister-in-law out for saying the walk wouldn’t be about anything bad, but thought better of it.

“I just wanted to thank you for being so good about...everything...with me, at Thanksgiving. I know it’s weird” Ali shook her head and started to mumble, self-conscious and wondering if the big man was going to stay mute on this subject too.

“Hey, hey, Al” he waited for her to glance up at him as they walked, “I’ll do anything you need me to do. I told you that last year and I meant it. Both Beth and I – we talked about it. If you think something will help you...find a way to not be afraid of me...” he still struggled with those words but he knew it was important to say them out loud. All of the counseling he had undergone had always talked about being honest about what was going on. Don’t sugarcoat anything or use pretty words to replace painful ones as you dealt with the damage you had done. “...we’re in. 100%. Weird or not” he winked, hoping to make his sister-in-law more comfortable talking about it. “Did it help? I mean, I know it’s gonna take some time, but do you feel...any different?”

“Yeah, I do” the brunette nodded. “It will take more time. You’re right about that. But I do feel a difference. And that’s what I wanted to tell you. And thank you. I know it doesn’t feel like much to you” she shrugged. “But I know it’s helping.”

“Good. That’s awesome” he grinned at her, visibly relieved. “I’m so glad you told me. Thanks” his voice broke a little at the end and Ali stole a quick glance and saw him wiping a tear from his eye.

“Aww, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad...”

“No, no, you didn’t” he spoke quickly, trying to explain, his voice more serious than it had been up to that point. “I’m happy. And relieved. But this...” he shook his head, face now serious to match his voice, “you don’t need to try and make me feel better about any of it Al. So don’t do it. Even if I was upset right now. That’s just too fucking bad. That’s on me. All of this whole fucking mess is because of me” he stopped and reached to take her arm and stop her too but pulled it back, conscious of the odd dynamic between them now. Instead he waited for her to stop a foot in front of him and then went to stand in front of her. “The only thing that upsets me more than the fact that you’re...too afraid to be in your own damned house with me in the first place, is that you feel bad about it too. Fuck that Ali. This is all my fault and I know it. I don’t want you to think I’ve forgotten that. I think about...that night...” he swallowed hard, “every single day of my life. I’ll never forget it as long as I live. Just because I’m sober now and I’m moving forward and living my life again – hopefully as a better man...”

“Definitely as a better man” Ali interrupted quietly as she looked up into his intense face.

“...doesn’t mean I don’t remember what I did. It doesn’t mean I’ve left it all behind me. I’ll never forgive myself for what I did that night and I don’t expect you to either.” He paused as a few more tears collected in the corners of his eyes, but he fought them back. He sounded more angry than anything else, but it was a subdued anger that felt like it came from deep down inside. “I don’t know how you ever could. I know if you had done something like that to her...well, fuck...there’s no way I’d be able to forgive you.”

“Chris...”

“No, I mean it. I put myself in your shoes and...man, I just don’t know what I’d do” he looked bewildered and it was easy to see that he had spent many hours considering this very idea. “But I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be trying to find a way to make it work between us again. I don’t know how you’re doing this Al...”

The brunette let her eyes move to the sea behind the big man as she took his words in. They had talked about this before, but not just the two of them – Ashlyn or Beth had always been there. And certainly not in such honest terms. Chris was finally saying everything Ali had been wanting and needing to hear from him. Ashlyn had said almost the exact same thing to her the Christmas before, when they had fought in the garage about the neighbor holiday gifts, and it had felt wonderful hearing it then. But now, to have Chris say it...it felt like freedom in a strange way. It didn’t make Ali love him any more or fear him any less, but it somehow opened everything up inside her that had been painfully, securely, bound up into something small enough that she could manage. She closed her eyes and let the cool breeze hit her face as a small smile turned up the corner of her lips. 

Chris just stood there watching her, wondering if he had finally said the wrong thing. Had he finally fucked it up beyond repair? As dire consequences started to flash through his guilt-ridden mind he felt her hand on his bicep - it felt impossibly tiny compared to his bulk. He couldn’t remember the last time she had touched him and as that new thought travelled through his brain he heard her words as she opened her eyes, looking out over the ocean again.

“For her...I’d do anything for her” she blinked slowly as thoughts of Ashlyn and Chris’ harrowing conversation in the garage a month earlier filled her head again. Ali knew that Chris had helped Ashlyn more in that one conversation than all of the therapy sessions with Mattie combined. “She loves you, she needs you...so I’ll do everything I can to make sure she always has you” she shrugged with a slow smile. “I love her.”

//

New Year’s Eve plans had been made months earlier, although everybody half expected the Kriegers to back out and stay in Florida for a few more days than they had planned. Nobody would have blamed them. But it didn’t happen. The Kriegers returned to the big old house on Sunday the 29th of December so Drew could play in his basketball tournament over the next couple of days. Ali and Ashlyn and their group of friends, not just the 4-families, had all enjoyed a kid-friendly NYE party and sleep-over six years back – hosted by the Kriegers, and it had been a big success. For a number of different reasons it had taken them all a few years to do it again, but this was the year! Ali and Ashlyn offered to host again but everybody felt bad about it – and secretly thought they would bail at the last minute anyway. Sydney and Dom offered their house in Lynnfield as the party and sleepover spot and that’s where the fun went down that year even though Ali told her bestie they could switch it to the big old house if she wanted to. 

Tuesday was New Year’s Eve and everybody had a lot of fun. Much like last time, they ate a lot of yummy food, drank a lot of adult beverages, played a dozen various types of games with all sorts of different groups of kids and grown-ups, stayed awake to watch the ball drop on the big screen tv, toasted the New Year, kissed their loved one, and then crashed wherever they could find a place that worked. The Dwyers, with three kids lucky to have their own rooms, didn’t have an official guest room. They used the pullout couch in the family room for that. The Kriegers and the Crosses and the Flanagans all brought air mattresses and pillows and a million different kids blankets and other nighttime essentials like favorite stuffed animals. Carm & Kacey were there again, but both Liz and Jessie had chosen to celebrate with their boyfriends instead. Erica was there with her daughter Maisy and Sarah and Erin joined in with their daughter Daphne. Kristie Mewis was a last-minute no-show because her baby was sick. Everybody was disappointed but also appreciated the fact that she hadn’t brought her sick baby to get everybody else’s kids sick. That was a high-class mom appreciation award winning move right there. Cat Whitehill brought her husband and their three kids but they didn’t sleep over. 

Alex and Abby, Sydney’s two good friends from work who had joined them down in Provincetown for Sydney’s bachelorette weekend so many years ago showed up with their husband and girlfriend but left after the ball dropped. It was a big party and it got a little wild sometimes. A few of Dom’s friends were there too and seemed to be the ones who ratcheted things up a notch every time things started to get out of control. One room was for the rowdy party people and the rest of the first floor was for the family-friendly set. There were a handful of sober grown-ups who made sure nobody ever got too far out of line. And the kids didn’t know the difference anyway. They were busy doing their own thing most times, with only the oldest of the 4-family kids paying attention to the rowdy room. Nobody got a very good sleep that night, but sometimes you just had to suck it up and get by the next day with cranky kids and tired, hungover grownups so you could ring in the New Year right with your crew. It was still one of Ashlyn and Ali’s favorite nights of the entire year. They had a great time laughing and drinking with the other grown-ups as well as playing with a lot of the kids. And, of course, they shared a passionate kiss at midnight, wordlessly telling each other how deep and abiding their love was, even after all those years. It was their 15th New Year’s Eve kiss and it still moved them tremendously. They held each other tightly and whispered their love after the kiss, ignoring the playful teasing from their closest friends.

//

Monday night, the night after they returned from Florida and the night before the big NYE party, Ashlyn and Ali planned their own kind of celebration. It was the night they exchanged their personal Christmas gifts with each other and stayed up late to break them in. Ken & Vicki Krieger had all four kids for a sleepover at Grandpa’s house because they had all missed each other over Christmas. Ali and Ashlyn and the dogs would come up late the next morning to spend NYE day at Grandpa’s before going to the Dwyers later that afternoon for the big party. The two moms were almost as excited as the kids were about the Monday evening plans. The kids got more Christmas presents and got spoiled rotten by Grandpa and Vivi, and the moms got the house to themselves to do a little gift swapping of their own. 

It was 4pm when they got home from dropping the kids off and they were both excited. It felt silly, really, to be so excited but they were and they didn’t care how ridiculous it might seem to anybody else. Ali had used her brain and ordered take-out for an early dinner that they picked up on the way back to Gloucester and their night was complete. Ashlyn and Ali had gone back and forth about how the evening and night should go, but they still couldn’t decide. They each hatched different plans, several times, and then finally decided to just play it by ear. That was risky, especially with something as coveted as grown-up alone time in their own home. But they both knew that they weren’t going to waste a minute of that precious time. They simply decided not to plot out every single minute of it. They wanted to be a little spontaneous and see what they were actually in the mood for as it happened instead of scripting it all out.

Ashlyn jogged around the front of the minivan to open Ali’s door for her, chivalrous as ever. The brunette usually didn’t wait for her anymore but she had the take-out food on her lap and didn’t move as quickly as she typically did. It was a sweet touch and it made Ali smile even brighter than she already had been the whole ride home.

“Thank you, sweetheart” she beamed at the keeper who leaned in for quick kiss as she helped her hop out of the passenger seat.

“My pleasure” Ashlyn grinned back, dimple on full display.

They held hands as they walked across the driveway and into the house and it made them both think back to the heady days of their honeymoon phase. Ah, those were the days. They had held hands whenever possible and for as long as possible. They had kissed hello and goodbye and not just quick pecks like they did now either. They had kissed whenever either of them got up off the couch or sat back down on it too, like lovestruck teenagers. And no amount of teasing from their friends or family could ever stop them from doing any of it. The two women still felt the same way towards each other but had learned to let go of so many of those small intimate moments because their days were so full and busy with the kids and the dogs and the house and a million other obligations. Ali and Ashlyn were still very affectionate with one another, they kissed hello and goodbye and good morning and goodnight. They touched and patted and squeezed each other whenever they were close enough to do so and had a free hand. They still preferred to sit next to each other whenever possible, no matter where they were or what they were doing. After 15 years together it was pretty remarkable and not at all common among many of their peers. The four-families were all pretty affectionate and open with each other, but, for instance, the other parents at school were rarely as touchy-feely as the Kriegers were. Ashlyn and Ali were just fine with that. They didn’t care what anybody else was doing. They knew what worked for them and stuck to it.

“So...” the keeper took the bag of food from her wife and carried it to the kitchen counter while Ali greeted the dogs in the mudroom, “should we eat?” she called out.

“Ummm...I don’t know” Ali replied, moving towards her wife like a magnetic force had been activated between them. “I’m not really hungry yet, but” she shrugged as she ran her hand across Ashlyn’s back – the keeper bent over to play with Logan who was on her back on the floor, “I could eat, if we wanted to get it out of the way...”

“Listen, baby” Ashlyn stood up and hugged her beautiful brunette. “We’ve got all night. I don’t want to just get something out of the way. I don’t want to rush anything tonight.” She stopped when she saw a little pout on Ali’s face. She kissed it off of her lips and then continued with a chuckle. “I don’t want to waste time either though...”

“So...should we eat?”

They decided to take the dogs for a walk before it got pitch dark outside, then come back home and eat dinner, then move on to more relaxing, intimate events. They weren’t trying to torture themselves, they were trying to be smart and practical. Logan was an active young dog who needed to get her ya-yas out or she would whine and bother the two moms all evening long. Nobody wanted that. It was a good plan and they followed it for a while. But when they came home from the walk, Ashlyn started a fire in the big, double-sided fireplace between the kitchen and the family room and all the brunette could think about was getting naked with her wife in front of it. It had been so long since they had enjoyed naked time in the big old house outside of their bedroom that neither of them could remember the last time it had happened.

“Should we?” Ali asked after suggesting they have one of their long, lost bubble times for the next 16 hours or so.

“What about the dogs?” Ashlyn asked, genuinely not sure what either of them would do if they saw their moms getting busy on the floor in the family room.

“We’ll just use the gates and keep them out of here” Ali shrugged as they stood facing each other near the fire. “Or lock them in the front living room, I don’t care” she laughed as she got more and more excited about the idea. “I just want to be with you, take our time and not do anything we don’t want to do until we have to leave the house tomorrow at 10am. Can we do that?”

“You don’t have to convince me” the keeper bent her knees a bit and then lifted Ali up off her feet and spun them both around, making her squeal and giggle. 

A half hour later they were finally ready. Ali put the gates up between the mudroom and kitchen and between the dining room and the family room to keep the dogs out. Then she made extra sure that all the blinds and curtains were drawn tightly in the family room. She rolled her eyes at the thought of having their intimate bubble time in the room with the most windows in the entire house. She pushed thoughts away and willed herself to stay present and not let the past ruin their night. It took her a minute, but she won that internal battle and felt relieved and proud of herself at the same time. 

Ashlyn made room in front of the fire for the old camping mattress before remembering that they had finally thrown it out a couple of years ago. It was practically in tatters and they hadn’t used it in a long time so it had been an easy decision to make. She started downstairs to get the kid-sized air mattresses and then remembered that they were up in Ipswich at Ken’s house with the kids. Damn. Their own air mattress was too big for the space because the Christmas tree was in place and taking up room. What the hell? Neither woman would enjoy the hardwood floor with just a blanket over it anymore – that was a young person’s pleasure and not an option for them anymore.

Ali stood in front of the fire, listening to the Christmas music, taking in the warm beauty of the holiday-decorated room and wondering what the hell was taking Ashlyn so long.

“We need a couple of sheets” the keeper announced as she dropped both of the yogibo bean bag chairs in front of the fire with a grunt. They were hard to carry on their own and Ashlyn had dragged both of them at the same time – Ali was impressed.

“Wow...ok” her eyes went wide at the change in plan as well as the sexy display of strength from her keeper. “Right” she moved quickly after she snapped out of her momentary daze.

They giggled together as they made the two big bean bags work for them, remembering the old camping mattress fondly and covering the kid-centric bean bags up as quickly as possible so the kid-free mood of the night didn’t get ruined before it ever got started. Ashlyn asked her wife’s permission to change the Christmas music to one of their sexy playlists and knew it was a big ask. Ali loved her Christmas stuff, all of it. But, all of the Christmas stuff, with the kids bean bags added in, and Persey and Logan whining at them from the dining room gate, was making it hard for the keeper to focus. The brunette agreed without much fuss, understanding without needing it explained to her why Ashlyn wanted more activity-appropriate music. 

“We can just go upstairs babe” Ali offered sweetly as they surveyed their set-up and the heavy, sexy beats filled the room. “We can start the fire up there...”

“No” Ashlyn shook her head and hugged her wife from behind, both looking into the dancing flames that were warming the room up fast. “I want us to be down here. I have sex with you all the time up there” she nodded at the ceiling above her and then pressed a warm kiss to Ali’s neck. “I want to be down here with you, and over there with you, and maybe in there with you...” she indicated the make-shift bed at their feet, the family room couch, and then the dining room or front parlor as she spoke slowly, her voice husky and low.

Ali felt her keeper’s hips moving from side to side as they started dancing slowly to the music, hands moving methodically over their clothes and finding bare skin wherever they could. 

“I want that too...” the brunette purred as she leaned back into Ashlyn. “A lot...”

“Mmmm...dance with me, baby...” the keeper pulled her body back just a bit so Ali could turn around in her arms to face her. “I love dancing with you like this.”

They held each other close and danced together for several minutes, getting lost in the music and the warmth and the closeness of the woman they loved more than anything in the world.

“I’m not trying to be cute, but it’s really hot in here” Ali giggled, unable to take it anymore.

“I can fix that” Ashlyn smirked as she started slowly stripping the clothes off of her wife while Ali kept moving to the music at a sultry, rhythmic pace. They never took their eyes off of each other until the keeper couldn’t resist another second. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous.”

“Your turn” the brunette bit her bottom lip as she returned the favor. She found it extremely difficult to take her time and was surprised at how turned on she was by something as simple as undressing each other. Once the keeper was naked, Ali stood behind her with hungry eyes. “I love this” she hummed into the kiss she placed behind Ashlyn’s ear – knowing it was her sweet spot and would drive her crazy.

“Easy there, sugar” the keeper cautioned and they both smiled at the southern drawl. “I have plans for you and I’m not letting you distract me.”

“Oh yeah” Ali licked her way down Ashlyn’s neck while she cupped both breasts and squeezed both of the pretty pink nipples. “Well what if I have plans for you too?”

Ashlyn sucked in a breath and felt the goosebumps erupt all over her body at the new touch. She groaned when she felt her wife shift her hips from side to side, dragging her short hairs across the keeper’s smooth ass.

“Damn, baby...”

“You like that hmmm?”

“Shit, yesssss...” the keeper reached behind her and grabbed Ali’s ass, pulling her wife’s body tight up against her own to increase the tantalizing sensation of the brunette bush tickling her skin. “Jesus...”

“Fuck Ash...” Ali’s head started to swim as lust flooded her system. She moved one of her hands down to her keeper’s mound and scratched at it lightly. “Mmmmm...”

Just like that, the slow rolling boil bubbled over and both worked up women began clutching at each other desperately. They should have known better. They could only ever enjoy the slow-play routine after they had completed round one first.

“I can’t wait...”  
“Ashlyn...”

They fumbled around trying to get leverage on the bean bags, pushed together to hopefully make one bigger surface that would protect them from the bruising floor. It would have been comical if they weren’t both so hungry to devour each other. The 6 days in Florida had been nice and relaxing and they had even managed to have some quiet sex one night in the downstairs bedroom they shared at Tammye and Carol’s beach house. But it hadn’t been enough. Not nearly enough. And they had both been anticipating this night for several days after the arrangements had been made with Ken and Vicki. All day long Ashlyn had been giddily dreaming about burying her face between her brunette’s legs, and Ali had been thinking about playing with the new toy she had bought for her keeper.

“Your...present...” Ali pulled back, gasping. Her lips were pink and swollen and her eyes darker than her favorite dark chocolate.

“What?” Ashlyn shook her head to try and focus on the words that she had barely heard.

“We didn’t do gifts yet” the brunette sat on top of Ashlyn’s thighs, straddling her lanky body.

The keeper tried to pull her wife back down on top of her. “We can do them later...after this, ok?” 

Ali hesitated but couldn’t resist the blonde’s long, strong arms for more than a few seconds. Ashlyn took the low moan that came out of her wife’s mouth as a yes and continued stroking the soaked folds between her legs - her fingertips reaching down from her arm on top of Ali’s voluptuous ass.

“Ok...” the brunette sighed as she melted into her wife and the incredible feeling of so much of their skin touching. “So good...mmmmm...”

They kept kissing and moaning and grinding against each other as their libidos completely took over. The bean bags were difficult to move around in and Ashlyn began to get frustrated. She had sunk down into the one they were using with Ali still on top of her. 

“Inside...Jesus...I need you inside...” Ali panted out, getting totally carried away in all the skin and lips and fingers and passion working between them.

Ashlyn, almost flat on her back, found herself pinned inside the bean bag without any open space for her to get to where her wife was begging for her. With her body sunk down into the bean bag, the sides of the chair had come up and in around her, except where Ali’s knees were pushing it back down. After a minute of trying a few different things that didn’t work, the keeper lifted Ali up and flipped her over so her back was to Ashlyn’s front.

“Shit!” Ali yelled out in surprise. She felt drunk on desire and laughed at the sudden new position. But it was only funny for a second because Ashlyn, now with easy access to everything on the front of her wife’s body, plunged her two middle fingers into the brunette’s pussy without another word. “Fuuuuucccckkk...” Ali groaned. “Yessssss...”

“I’ve got you baby...you like my fingers, don’t you?” Ashlyn’s hot breath was right next to her wife’s ear and it felt like a third hand, gently stroking her while the other two hands continued pumping hard and fast and pinching and tugging. “Yeah, I know you do...I know what you like...I know what you need...”

“Yes, unnnnhhh, oh yes...you do...mmmmm...so good...”

They were sitting at a slight angle, not quite flat on their backs but pretty close, as they faced the now roaring fire. Ashlyn had her feet flat on the floor and was lifting her wife’s body up with her own for better access. Ali’s knees were bent up and she was holding onto the backs of both of her thighs, trying to keep her legs out of Ashlyn’s way. The keeper thrusted her right hand hard and fast into her wife’s dripping pussy and took turns with her left hand playing with one small but perfect breast and then the other. She licked and nibbled on Ali’s neck and ear and collarbone, trying to control herself and not leave a mark.

“I love you in my arms like this...fuck...” Ashlyn grunted under the effort but didn’t let up or slow down.

“Ashlyn...” Ali panted out, her mouth slack and her eyes closed as she felt her orgasm getting closer and closer. Her head lolled back and forth between the bean bag with the sheet covering it and her keeper’s face. She moaned and mewed and panted as her body bounced along with Ashlyn’s fast rhythm. “So...good...unnnhhh...fuck...me...”

“I’ll fuck you” Ashlyn panted back, winded from exertion and incredibly turned on. “I’ll fuck you so good...”

Ali’s whole body trembled and the keeper moved her left hand down from her wife’s breasts to her swollen, aching clit. 

“Oh God, unnhhhh...yes...please...unnhhhh...” the brunette moaned loudly.

Ashlyn circled the sensitive nub several times before actually touching it and her wife’s hips bucked up, trying to get the contact needed to finish the race.

“Is this what you want, gorgeous?” the keeper’s hot breath tickled Ali’s ear again while her strong fingers finally started rubbing her clit.

“Yes!” Ali shouted, letting go of one of her legs so she could play with her own nipples. “Fuck yes! Don’t stop...unnnhhh...don’t you fucking stop...”

Ashlyn kept rubbing the bundle of nerves hard and fast, while she changed to squeezing the fingers of her right hand up into the brunette’s g-spot. The constant pressure there, with the delicious attention to her clit was everything Ali needed. Ashlyn knew her wife was close. She could practically feel the orgasm travelling through her body. The brunette arched her back right before she came and it nearly took all the wind out of Ashlyn’s lungs because she was using the keeper to push off of. The blonde held her breath and concentrated on the sexy, sloppy sounds coming from between Ali’s legs instead of the discomfort in her chest. 

“Oh God...” Ali’s voice was hoarse and ragged with want. “Oh God...”

Ashlyn pressed a kiss into Ali’s cheek and then sucked hard on her neck.

“Oh my God...unnnnhhhh...Oh!..Oh!!..unnnnhhhh... yessssssssssssss...” the brunette finally came undone in her wife’s exhausted arms, twitching and thrashing as Ashlyn tried to hold her.

“Fucking magnificent...” the keeper exhaled and smiled as she felt every inch of her wife’s body reacting to the powerful orgasm. “So fucking perfect. I love you baby” she panted. “I love you.”

It took Ali a good few minutes to recover and when she had her wits about her again she realized that her entire body weight had been on top of Ashlyn for the past twenty wonderful minutes.

“Oh shit, are you ok?” she rolled up and onto the edge of the bean bag, letting her body drop into the second bean bag next to the first. She was still out of breath as she pulled herself up to the edge of the two bean bags so she could see down into the first one where her keeper still lay. “Honey, are you alright?”

“Yep. I’m good” Ashlyn grinned back up at her. “These things suck” she elbowed the two sides of the bean bag that surrounded her and winked at her wife. “But that was amazing.”

“Here, let’s get you out of there” Ali chuckled as she slowly got to her feet. “Ok, I need another minute” she giggled and dropped back to the bean bag, not letting go of Ashlyn’s hand. “Can you wait one more minute babe?”

“No problem” she laughed. “I can see my headstone now...’here lies Ashlyn Krieger, it was the bean bag that did her in’” she laughed again, louder this time and with her wife joining her. 

“Ok drama queen, just settle down” Ali teased. “If I had crushed your chest you wouldn’t be able to talk right now, forget about crack jokes.”

“You right. You right” she laughed some more. “What’s it like being so fucking sexy and smart all at the same time?”

“Keep it up smart-ass” Ali reached over and smacked her leg. “Just keep it up and I’ll leave you down there while I go eat all of our dinner without you.”

Ashlyn let out a playful gasp, “You wouldn’t dare.”

“No, probably not” Ali considered it, peering down into the first bean bag again and grinning at her sweet wife. “At least not before eating what I’m really starving for...” she smirked.

“Oooh, don’t tease me woman!” the keeper chuckled and started to try and pull herself out of the bean bag with a grunt. “Whose dumb idea were these things anyway?” they both laughed out loud as the brunette had to use all of her strength to help Ashlyn up and out of the bean bag.

“There” Ali chuckled, flopping onto the nearby couch. “I saved your life, now come sit on my face” she tapped her chin and gave her wife a lascivious grin. “Right now. I’m dying to taste you.”

It took another thirty minutes and an orgasm on the couch, about 45 minutes eating dinner, and then 15 minutes of playing with the dogs before they got around to opening their special Christmas presents. They threw the bean bags back down the basement stairs and slid the couch over closer to the fire, covering it with the sheets and getting comfortable. They sat together the way they often did, Ali sitting sideways with her legs over Ashlyn’s lap. Now that the first urgent orgasms were out of the way and they had filled their bellies, they were completely blissed out and relaxed. Ali had switched the music back to Christmas theme and poured them each a drink – red wine for herself and whiskey for her love. It was just after 7:30pm and they still had the rest of the night ahead of them. 

“Let’s see what we’ve got here” Ashlyn gently shook the gift bag before pulling the brightly colored tissue paper out of it and looking inside. “Nice” she grinned as she held an orange dildo in her hand. “I like the creamsicle look” she wagged her eyebrows. “No knobs, just my size, I love it!”

“You’re too sweet” Ali smiled and shook her head. “And I love you for it, but there’s another part to it” she pointed at the bag and chuckled.

“A new strap to go with it. Thank you baby!” Ashlyn leaned over to give Ali a kiss but the brunette shook her head and squeezed her wife’s face.

“It’s not a regular strap. God, it’s like opening presents with the kids” she rolled her eyes and giggled. “If it’s not shiny or loud they don’t even look at it.”

“Well, well, well...” Ashlyn read the cardboard tag on the strap and looked at the tiny picture on the back of it with curiosity. “A thigh strap” she quirked her eyebrow at her wife. “I definitely like.”

“Really?” the brunette asked shyly, always hoping to please her girl on this special night of theirs. “You’re not just saying that?”

“Of course I’m not...I know I laid it on a little thick before but I really mean it” she tilted her head and blinked adoringly at her wife. “I’ve wanted to try one of these for a while now.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah” Ashlyn nodded. “I can ride your thigh” she let her hand wander to Ali’s leg “and still have easy access to...other places...” she wagged her eyebrows again and moved her hand up to the top of her wife’s thigh. “It’s brilliant. I love it. The only thing it’s missing is a dildo with all your crazy knobs on it.”

“I thought we should try it out first before we went all in” the brunette flirted and pulled her wife’s hand between her legs, moaning softly at the contact.

“Damn Al...” Ashlyn closed her eyes and swallowed hard, trying to stay in control. “Don’t move, and umm...hold that thought until you open your gift, ok?” she met the brunette’s steamy gaze and felt her stomach flip flop. Fuck that was sexy as hell. “Here” she used her free hand to pass a small, gift-wrapped box to her wife. “Merry Christmas baby. I love you.”

“Impressive self-control All-star, very sexy” Ali smirked at her wife who looked like she was in physical pain, her hand still between the brunette’s legs. “Let’s see what we have here...” Ali opened the beautifully-wrapped gift, always appreciating the time Ashlyn put into doing little things like that for her.

“Listen, honey, before you open it...” Ashlyn started to say, her voice soft and kind. 

But Ali opened the box before her keeper got the words out. Her spine straightened and she moved Ashlyn’s hand away from her crotch, closing her legs defensively without even thinking about it. 

“Baby, let me explain...”

“I know what they are. And I know how to use them. And I...” Ali tried to take a beat before saying something she might regret. She looked at the beautiful wooden box with new ben wa balls inside and shook her head. “I don’t know why the hell you thought this would be a good idea” she squinted at her keeper, genuinely confused by the gift.

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you” Ashlyn spoke quickly and squeezed her wife’s legs that were still on her lap, trying to make sure she stayed in place and didn’t try to get up and leave the room. “Just...give me a chance to explain, please.”

Ali folded her arms across her chest, suddenly feeling very exposed and uncomfortable. She glanced towards the tightly covered windows that faced the empty lot and the treehouse, without making the conscious decision to do so, and sighed heavily as Emily Quindlen and all her bullshit joined them in the room.

“I can’t...” the brunette tried to put words together but all she could feel was anger. She was angry at Emily. Angry at the treehouse. Angry at the ben wa balls. Angry at the glamping cabin without stupid curtains. Angry at Ashlyn for ruining their rare, special bubble time like this. “Why?”

Ashlyn knew she was in trouble. This was going to be harder than she thought – and she had already prepared for it to be pretty fucking brutal. She also knew that her wife was pissed. She could practically see the smoke coming out of her ears. She had one shot at getting through to Ali and salvaging the rest of their time together. If she did it right, then they’d be ok. If she fucked it up, then she’d be in the doghouse for a very long time.

“Listen Al, I love you more than life itself. I know you know this, but I want you to understand it and trust it and trust me and give me a chance...give us a chance...to do this” her voice was steady and serious and she locked into those whiskey-colored eyes that were so full of anger and pain. The pain she saw there shook Ashlyn’s resolve for a few seconds. She hadn’t expected to see pain, still, after all this time. “I’m tired of this Emily crap, this Emily drama, this Emily shroud that comes down over us still, from time to time. I’ve had it with her and with all of it. I’m done. Christmas was hard and the party was really hard and” she shook her head slowly, feeling every word that was passing through her lips, “I don’t know, I’m just fucking over all of it. We’ve worked so hard to get past her and we did it! We took the house back. We took the blue stone back. We got our sex back” she cocked her head and blinked softly at her beautiful brunette, letting those words sink in. She could see Ali struggling with them. She could tell by the way she was chewing her bottom lip that she was thinking hard about everything Ashlyn was saying. It gave the keeper hope and she pushed on. “We took everything back that she fucking touched, and then some. We took ‘Annabel Lee’ and made it ours. We took ‘Sonnets From the Portuguese’ and made them ours. We even went to see her and show her exactly how strong we are so there could never ever be any confusion about it ever again.” Ashlyn reached for her wife’s hand and felt emboldened when the brunette allowed her to take it. “Ali, honey, it’s over. We won. We beat her. We’re here, stronger than ever and she’s where she’s supposed to be – locked up and, hopefully, getting the help she needs, just like you always wanted for her.”

Ali felt her heart pound when she heard Ashlyn say that. The fact that, after everything that had happened with Emily, the keeper could still remember something that Ali had wished for her ex-fiance since they broke up almost exactly 20 years ago, blew her away. As upset and hurt as she felt by the surprise gift, Ali couldn’t help but love the way Ashlyn had always listened and cared about her past with Emily. Even now when it would have been acceptable by anybody’s standards for Ashlyn to have nothing but hatred in her heart for Emily and her past with Ali, the keeper managed to talk about the mentally ill woman with compassion. Ali had always trusted Ashlyn, always. There was a long list of times, big and small and everything in between, that Ali had taken that leap of faith with her. Her keeper had never let her down. Not once. Maybe, just maybe, she was right about this too. About stupid ben wa balls that Ali had never intended to buy or use again. The brunette felt her anger subside and her confusion lessen as she listened to the voice of the woman she loved trying to help her understand.

“I don’t care if we never use ben wa balls ever again, to be honest. But I know you love them. I know you do. And because you love them I love them and I really really love when we use them. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to let her take those from us either” she shook her head stronger this time, her jaw set and a look of fierce determination on her face. “You don’t have to use them if you don’t want to Al, but I want you to want to use them again. If that makes any sense at all” she looked down, discouraged by the way her prepared speech had come out entirely different than she had practiced.

“It does” Ali’s voice was quiet but clear and Ashlyn’s head snapped up when she heard it.

“Yeah? Really?” a hopeful smile sprung to the keeper’s face as she took both of her wife’s hands in her own. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it. No pressure, but don’t just tell me what you think I want to hear” she cautioned.

“No, I’m not” Ali shook her head and took a deep breath. “I don’t love them” she glanced down at the gift, “not yet anyway, but I know why you got them for me” she nodded quickly and looked back into her favorite hazel eyes. “I do Ash. And I appreciate it.”

“Are you sure?” the keeper squeezed Ali’s hands and then pulled them up to her lips one at a time to kiss them.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’m not ready...”

“No, no” Ashlyn gave her another serious look. “There’s no rush. Whenever you think you wanna try them, that’s when we’ll try them. All I wanted tonight was for you not to throw me out of the house or them into the garbage can.”

They both chuckled and Ali couldn’t believe the roller coaster of emotions she had just gone through, all in the span of about ten freaking minutes. It wasn’t something she thought would be a part of their special night and she kind of resented giving those ten minutes up if she was being honest. But everything Ashlyn had said was true. Every bit of it. They had overcome so much and the ben wa balls, as insignificant as they seemed, were truly the last piece of their lives that they hadn’t reclaimed from Emily Quindlen. Until now. Ali’s office at K-H was the obvious exception but both women, whether subconsciously or not, were overlooking that hurdle for the purposes of the conversation that night. 

“I guess there never would have been a good time to do this, to have this talk” Ali shrugged and considered her keeper for a long moment. “You’re brave” she smiled and rolled her eyes at the blonde.

“And crazy, I know” Ashlyn leaned over and gave her wife a soft, sweet kiss. “Are you sure you’re ok? Did I wreck everything?” she asked tentatively. “Please God tell me I didn’t ruin this whole glorious night...” she lifted her eyes to the ceiling.

Ali made her sweat for a full minute before letting her off the hook. 

“You didn’t ruin anything” she blinked tenderly at her keeper. “I was mad there for a minute...”

“Oh, you were so mad” Ashlyn’s eyebrows went up. “You were so mad there for a few minutes. I could taste it” she giggled, teasing her wife just s tiny bit. “Thank you for trusting me honey. Really, it means so much to me...”

“I do trust you Ash, that’s the thing. That’s what it all comes down to, just like always. I knew, once I could process actual thoughts, that you were just doing something to help me, to help us. Like always” she smiled at the blonde and gave her a slow kiss that turned into a deep, passionate one before too long. “Thank you, babe.”

“You’re welcome” Ashlyn grinned as they cuddled into each other again, wrapping arms and legs around one another and trying to get the mood back to where it had been before Ashlyn’s radical gift.

It didn’t take too long, but Ali milked it for all it was worth, getting a massage out of her keeper and even coaxing her into doing a little dance for her too. Ashlyn knew she was being played but went along with it anyway – happy to have the evening back on a course towards naked, sexy times. They spent the next couple of hours having slow, sensual, luxurious sex on the couch in front of the fire. They took a long bath and crawled into bed just after 11pm to sleep naked in each other’s arms all night long. Their bubble night was wonderful and everything they both hoped it would be, despite the short detour, but it didn’t stop when they closed their eyes. They slept in Tuesday morning until almost 8am, but after coffee, a quick breakfast, tidying up the family room, and taking care of the dogs, they still had time to give Ashlyn’s new thigh strap-on a whirl. It would definitely be used again, and again, and Ashlyn added finding a knobby dildo that fit the thigh strap to her to-do list.

As they showered and got ready to drive up to Ipswich they stayed as close to each other as possible, not wanting any distance at all to separate them after their special, intimate time together. The best gift of all that Christmas, aside from the health and well-being of their family and friends, was knowing that the two of them could still feel so deeply and powerfully in love. Neither of them thought it had changed, but it was nice to have that special time to make sure they knew just how good they still were. Better, in fact, than ever before with another year of their incredible love under their belt. Their bond had always been unique and deep, and the longer they were together the stronger it grew. Thank fucking God.


	15. January Battles

January felt fresh and new for a lot of reasons, not the least of which was the family’s return from sunny Florida. The kids got right back into the swing of things at school, happy to see their friends and classmates and teammates after the holiday break. Drew’s 6th grade class had a big assignment that would take all semester to complete and he was pretty excited about it. Each student had to put together a written report about a historical place that had some personal meaning to them or their family. They also had to get up in front of the class and present the report with some visual aids at the end of the semester. After much careful consideration and plenty of input from his parents, Drew had decided to do his report on the big old house itself. It certainly fit the bill for historic and it had a great story behind it. And it meant everything to his family. Instead of focusing on Captain Leighton’s family story, he was going to zero in on the house itself and talk about how Captain Leighton had gotten the money to build the impressive home in the first place. Ashlyn was going to take Drew to the Shipbuilder’s Museum up in Essex and Ali was going to help him with the history of the Nuns who took over the house for a period of time after the war and before it had gone up for auction. That was the part of the house’s history that none of them really knew much about. They were all excited about the project and talk of the Captain and the Nuns and the sailors and fishermen who helped bring the house into existence took up many conversations that month in the big old house.

“How many nuns lived here anyway?”  
“Did the captain marry a nun?”  
“Your Grandpa built ships?”  
“Why did the nuns leave?”  
“How long did the war last?”  
“Who lived here after the nuns?”  
“Did the nuns sing all the time?”  
“Is this a church now?”  
“I thought your Grandpa built this house?”  
“How many ships did the Captain have again?”  
“I bet I could build a ship!”

 

Josie spent her extra time that January rehearsing her audition song for the talent show the Cape Ann area towns were holding for the first time. They called it the ‘Cape Ann Junior American Idol’ and there was a surprising amount of kids trying out. Josie had a beautiful singing voice in addition to her advanced skill on the piano. She had always been given roles with solos in the plays she had joined, and the local directors knew she was smart and reliable in addition to being talented. They knew they could trust her to learn her part, prepare for her solo, perfect the group numbers enough so that the other kids could follow her lead, and then kill the solo when it was time to shine. But this was different. This wasn’t a group production. It was a solo competition that required Josie to pass her audition, then make it through the callbacks before earning a spot in the competition itself. 

“I hate this song!” the 9-1/2 year old redhead yelled in frustration after she missed her entrance for the third time in a row that afternoon. “I don’t know why you made me do this one” she stomped over to the laptop after giving Ali a dirty look.

“Hey, I didn’t pick the song” the brunette quirked her eyebrow at her feisty daughter, warning her to watch her attitude with one look. “I told you this was a hard one. I know you can do it, but if you want to switch, now’s the time.”

“Ugghhh” Josie groaned as she started the song again and moved back into place in the front parlor with a look of sheer determination on her face.

Ali sat on the love seat listening to Josie’s clear voice moving up and down, hitting most of the notes perfectly. She had chosen ‘Sayonara’ from the kids’ musical comedy called ‘How to Eat Like a Child’. It was funny and required some acting to go along with the singing to really bring it home. Josie was perfectly capable of crushing it. It stretched her upper range a little bit but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t handle with some practice. The fourth time was the charm in terms of coming in at the right time for the second verse, but Josie forgot the words halfway through the third verse and had a meltdown. She screamed at herself in frustration and stomped all the way up to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her and putting herself into her own version of a timeout.

“That went well” Ashlyn chuckled from her spot, leaning in the doorway between the dining room and the front parlor. Persey was laying at her feet watching the practice with mild interest, irked that she continued to be denied access to the room after so many years of proving that she could control both her bladder and her teeth.

“She can totally do it” Ali shook her head as she got up and turned the Bluetooth speaker off and closed the laptop. “She gets so mad at herself and then just spins out of control...”

“I can’t imagine” the keeper grinned knowingly at her wife who just made a face back at her as she walked her way.

Ali gave the blonde a sweet kiss and played with the light brown hair at the back of her neck.

“I have no idea what you mean” she laughed.

“Better you than me I guess” Ashlyn shrugged, the faintest look of sadness in her eyes, despite the smile on her beautiful face.

“Oh babe, did you want to do this with her? I’m sorry...”

It had been almost a full year since Ali had started to work from home and be there for the kids in the afternoons and Ashlyn still wasn’t quite used to it. She wasn’t sure if she ever would be. Most times it was a wonderful thing and sometimes it wasn’t. She hadn’t found a way to tell the brunette that yet either. The year had gone by so quickly that, all of a sudden, it was 2031 and halfway through January already again.

“Nah, I’m good” Ashlyn pulled her wife into a hug, only the dog gate between their legs. She was still not ready to talk about it. “Never better.”

Lily had turned her focus back to the food pantry a few towns away, pestering her mothers to take her to volunteer as often as possible. The girl had been very moved the previous winter by the food drive at the elementary school, but her attention had waned quickly. In typical Lily fashion she had gotten distracted by something else, and then something else and then something else. Around Thanksgiving she started to talk about the food pantry again and she and Ashlyn had taken a big donation of canned goods and other supplies there for the holidays. As soon as they returned from Florida, Lily started hounding her moms about volunteering there and serving the people their food. Ali and Ashlyn didn’t mind that she wanted to volunteer, but it drove them crazy the way Lily literally asked them ten times every day about when it would happen. Technically she was too young to be a volunteer - the age limit was 14. But Ali had talked with the woman who organized the volunteers and explained what was going on and they arranged it so Lily could go and ‘help’ one of her moms volunteer sometime later in the month. 

“But I want to volunteer by myself!” Lily complained loudly as she stormed into the big old house one January afternoon, slamming the mudroom door behind her in a huff.

“Hey! What is going on?” Ashlyn asked as she dried her hands on the dish towel and started to walk across the kitchen towards the ruckus.

“You did NOT just slam that door in my face young lady, did you?!” Ali’s voice boomed into the mudroom as she came through the door, slamming it behind her with a scowl on her face.

“Hey! Stop slamming the door, both of you. Geez...” the keeper stood in the doorway of the kitchen and flipped the towel up onto her shoulder with a frown on her face as she took in the scene in the mudroom. 

She watched both Lily and Ali angrily strip off their coats and boots and drop their backpack onto the floor and purse onto the bench in unsettling and unplanned synchronization. Ali gave the keeper a hard look as she tried to get her temper under control. Lily realized her Mama was watching her and burst into tears, almost as if on cue.

“What happened sweetpea?” Ashlyn cooed as she scooped the girl up after Lily ran and hugged her legs. The kids weren’t small anymore and the blonde felt her thighs burn as she stood up with the 7-1/2 year old in her arms.

Ali scowled at the keeper who was holding the crying girl to her chest and rubbing her back. Ashlyn cocked her head at her wife, waiting for some sort of explanation as Lily’s tears started to slow as quickly as they had started.

“M...M...Mommy won’t...let me...volunteer...” Lily gasped out as Ali rolled her eyes and tried to take a deep, steadying breath.

“That can’t be right honey” the keeper spoke soothingly.

“Of course it’s not right” Ali sighed, exasperated. “The food pantry has rules and age limits. I explained it to her four times on the drive home” she petted the two dogs who had come in to check on the loud voices and tears. “She doesn’t believe me, which is ridiculous because she was standing right next to me when the manager explained it to us.”

“Ok, well they have rules” Ashlyn kissed her daughter’s head and put her down on her own two feet. The keeper sat right in front of her on the bench and held both her hands. “We have to follow the rules...”

“But I want to volunteer!” Lily yelled right into Ashlyn’s face and stomped her foot hard on the mudroom floor.

“Do NOT yell at your mother like that!” Ali snapped as she pulled the girl away from Ashlyn’s face by the arm. “If this is how you’re going to behave then you’re definitely not ready to be doing any kind of volunteering. This is exactly why they have the age limit.”

Lily dissolved into a new round of tears and tried to pull free from the brunette’s grasp.

“Let me go!” she shouted at Ali.

“That’s enough!” the brunette shouted back, walking the girl to the timeout chair in the kitchen without further delay. “You’re in timeout. Sit there until I say you can get up.”

“Mommy!!!” she yelled back angrily before tilting her head all the way back and wailing at the top of her lungs.

“I was handling that you know” Ashlyn spoke tersely to her wife when Ali returned to the mudroom, nostrils still flaring from the confrontation with Lily.

“Yeah, I could see that” she said dismissively. “I don’t know what her problem is” Ali shook her head and turned to look back into the kitchen, missing the anguished look on her keeper’s face. “What she failed to mention was that I convinced the food pantry manager to let her come with one of us for a volunteer shift. She got what she wanted, more than any other 7-year old would get...I don’t know what’s gotten into her?”

When Ali turned back to her wife, Ashlyn gave her a defiant look.

“Well I’m sure you’ll figure it out. You’re mother of the year after all. Nobody can do any of this better than you.”

“What the hell is that for?” Ali’s anger spiked again but she tried to keep her voice down so none of the other kids decided to come and investigate. “What’s the matter with you?”

“Just forget it” Ashlyn shook her head and waved the brunette off, turning to go up the front stairs to cool off for a while. As she closed the studio door behind her, she chastised herself for letting another opportunity to talk with her wife go by.

Dodge was just enjoying being a 2nd grader and playing basketball and soccer, for the most part. Both he and Drew played indoor soccer again and had a good time with their friends and even made some new ones while they were at it. Lily joined them this year and liked indoor soccer a lot more than she thought she would. She was naturally athletic, just like Dodge, and both Ali and Ashlyn wished she would find a sport that she loved and was willing to dedicate more time to. She would be so good if she just settled into something. Dodge continued to play up with older boys for soccer but really dominated every sport he tried. He was getting used to it but it still bummed him out when he missed playing with his friends from class during soccer. His basketball season got cut short when he broke his wrist in January. He chose to continue playing indoor soccer, thankful that he didn’t need his right arm for that – he just couldn’t be the keeper or take any throw-ins and he was ok with that. There had been some concern about the second break to the same right forearm and wrist area in less than three years, but it was decided he would probably be ok. If he could lay off breaking the same area again for, say, five more years then everybody would feel a lot better about it. Good luck.

“I hate that fucking treehouse” Ali fumed as she and her wife waited for Dodge to come back from getting x-rays. 

They were whispering inside their son’s curtained exam room in the busy ER, surrounded by 7 other curtained exam rooms, all full of injured or ill patients. They were sitting side by side in two hard, plastic chairs next to the empty bed that still had some of Dodge’s winter clothes on it. It was 7pm on Thursday, January 9th, 2031 and they had been at the hospital for four hours already.

“It’s not the treehouse’s fault he jumped out of it” Ashlyn replied, frustration in her hushed voice.

“He wouldn’t have jumped out of it if it hadn’t been there in the first place” Ali snapped back. “I hate that fucking thing.”

“Yeah, I heard you the first time” the keeper bit back. She folded her arms across her chest, keeping her eyes straight ahead and reading the poster about proper hand-washing steps for the millionth time.

The treehouse had become a touchy subject for both women. Ashlyn loved it and Ali hated it. Ashlyn had fond memories of treehouses to begin with and then she had added wonderful memories of building their own with Niki and the kids two summers ago. The treehouse had never really stood a chance with the brunette. Before it had even been fully broken-in by the Krieger kids and other kids of the 4-families, Emily Quindlen had usurped it for her own nefarious purposes. As soon as Ali had learned about how much time her ex had spent spying on them from that very treehouse, she had despised it. During one of her radical mood swings last January as she convalesced and sank into depression, she seriously considered going to the empty lot and chopping the whole treehouse apart. Sydney had been the one who stopped her, finding her in the unfinished half of the basement with a small sledgehammer and warning her of the irreparable harm she would do to the kids. How would she explain her actions to children who didn’t know anything about her stalker?

For their part, the kids really enjoyed the treehouse. Drew used it less than anyone but mainly because he already kind of had his own space down in the basement. The basement wasn’t any more his than it was any of the other kids, but he definitely had dibs on it as the oldest. Josie and Lily played in the treehouse when the weather was nice and when Dodge wasn’t in it. They played all sorts of make-believe games, which was still one of their favorite things to do, regardless of whether it was in the treehouse or the basement or another room in the big old house. Most times Dodge played with them but sometimes he went and played with his soccer ball instead, just as happy doing both. But the girls preferred their time in the treehouse to be Dodge-free. It was small enough and he simply took up too much space with his boisterous energy. 

The treehouse was particularly popular with the other 4-family kids because they didn’t have one in their own backyards. It was a big draw when visiting the Kriegers and all the kids managed to spend time up there before it was time for them to go home again. The recent vandalism aside, the treehouse had been a fun, safe, popular spot for the kids to play and Ashlyn had no intention of tearing it down, no matter how much her wife hated it. They had argued about it before. But that afternoon the keeper was frustrated as hell by the whole thing. She was mad at Ali for blaming the treehouse. She was mad at Dodge for being dumb enough to jump out of the damned thing into snow that wasn’t nearly deep enough to cushion his landing in the least. She was mad at the Pitmans for abusing it. She was mad at Emily Quindlen for tainting it. She was mad at the ER for always being so fucking slow. She was mad at the baby two curtained rooms away who wouldn’t stop crying. She was mad at the vending machine that had taken her money and spit out the most disgusting, stale snickers bar she had ever tasted in her entire life. And she was mad at herself for being mad about all of it.

“I’m getting rid of it. I should have done it last year...” Ali’s annoyed voice broke through the keeper’s dark thoughts.

“No you’re not” Ashlyn cut her off.

“Yes. I am” Ali turned to fix her wife with a death glare.

“No, you’re fucking not!” Ashlyn yelled and stood up so abruptly that Ali shrank back in surprise. “I need some air” the keeper announced loudly as she stormed through the curtain, leaving the brunette to wait for their son alone.

//

Ali knew something was bothering her wife, and had been for a while, but she couldn’t figure out what it was. At first she thought it was leftover emotion from the anniversary of Emily Quindlen’s attack. But it had been happening before December and had gotten much worse as January wore on. The brunette focused on the January element of the puzzle – it had gotten much worse this month. It was the first time in 15 years that Ashlyn hadn’t participated in the annual NWSL college draft. The blonde said all the right things about coming to terms with the end of that part of her career, but maybe it was bothering her much more than anybody realized? The draft was held in San Jose, CA that January, one week after Dodge broke his wrist. The timing all made sense. Ashlyn had stormed out of the ER after arguing about the treehouse and had been irritable and short with Ali all month long leading up to it. Truthfully, she had been moody as far back as November but Ali had chalked it up to the holidays and tried hard to let it go. But after January’s events she was rethinking all of it.

The shit hit the fan the last week of the month. Ali had flown to NYC for work and stayed with Kyle and his family for one night, returning to the big old house just before dinner time the following day. It was the kind of quick trip that didn’t really faze either mom anymore. They were used to handling all four kids by themselves and the kids were older and easier too. There was homework and sports practice that complicated things but that was manageable with the help of the kids’ friends’ parents dropping off and picking up various Krieger children too. The smart thing to do for the mom who was on solo duty was to keep things simple and say no more than yes. But neither Ashlyn nor Ali were good at refusing their kids any simple requests. They tried, especially during those solo times, but didn’t always succeed. They both said yes to the time-consuming, extra-messy art project instead of just suggesting a simpler, cleaner alternative. They both said yes to Ethan or Kayla or Mikey or Tahlia when the kids asked if their best friend could come over after school. They knew better but they just couldn’t say no.

When the car service dropped Ali off that Thursday afternoon, it was just about 4:30pm and getting dark. The dogs were barking in the backyard, wagging their whole bodies in greeting for the brunette as they danced at the gate by the kitchen. Ashlyn hadn’t responded to any of her calls or texts during the drive home about picking up dinner and Ali was wondering what her sweet wife had planned. But the brunette could hear Lily crying as soon as she put her hand on the doorknob, knowing instantly that the radio silence hadn’t been because of a loving surprise. She swallowed hard and opened the door to the madhouse.

“Give it back! Right now!” Josie yelled as she chased Dodge through the mudroom and into the front living room at a full sprint, taking the tight corner from the hallway and bathroom by holding onto the edge of the door trim with her strong fingertips. Her face was bright red and Ali knew that was her daughter’s ‘vicious anger’ look. Dodge was in trouble if she caught him and he knew it too. “Arrrrgh!!” Josie screamed in frustration as her speedy brother eluded her reach with a nifty shoulder dip as they raced past the coffee table.

Ali couldn’t even see what her son had clutched in his hand that his sister so desperately wanted back. Before she could begin to start dealing with that, Lily’s wails reached new heights from the kitchen and the brunette knew her youngest daughter was in the timeout chair on the far side of the big, double-sided fireplace by the backstairs. Ali took off her boots and coat, put her purse on top of her suitcase by the mudroom door, and took a deep breath. Dodge and Josie sprinted through again, their course shorter than usual because they were avoiding the family room and dining room – probably because of their crying sister. They seemed unaware that their mother was standing there, never sparing her a glance or acknowledgement of any kind. There were coats and boots and all sorts of kid-sized winter outerwear strewn around the mudroom. The dog gate was laying flat on the floor just inside the front living room, which meant either the dogs or the kids had knocked it down. Ali’s bet was on the dogs themselves and that was why they were outside, barking to get in and have their dinner.

The brunette straightened her spine, feeling her head start to pound already from the cacophonous din all around her, and walked cautiously into the kitchen to try and stop Lily from crying. That was the first thing that had to stop, for all their sakes. 

“Mom-my!!!!!!!!!” the blonde girl wailed as soon as she saw Ali in the doorway. 

Her face was beet red, tears streaming down her face, her mouth wide open like a cartoon character where you could see all the way down to their tonsils. Lily truly looked beside herself and Ali wondered for a second if she was injured in some way too. Before she could say anything, Ashlyn looked up abruptly from her place at the sink. Her sleeves were rolled up to her elbows and both forearms were wet from washing...something. There were a couple of pots and pans on the counter next to the stove and something was beeping in the microwave down near the sink but the keeper didn’t seem to care. Ali tried to piece together what she was seeing and deduced that her wife had been trying to make dinner for the kids but something had interrupted her. It looked to the brunette like she had a couple of different food options going on – maybe trying to accommodate fussy demands from Lily or Drew. Where was Drew?

“Hi...” Ali said with a wince and a half-smile as Ashlyn crossed the kitchen towards her, walking at a fast pace as she rolled her sleeves down her still-damp arms.

“Good. You’re home. They’ll be so relieved” Ashlyn snapped, a dark look on her face as she brushed past the brunette and into the mudroom. “Knock it off!!!!!” the keeper yelled at the top of her lungs when Dodge and Josie made another lap and almost crashed right into her.

Ashlyn grabbed her coat and phone and keys as she stuffed her feet into her own boots and slammed the mudroom door hard behind her. The whole house shook and everything was quiet for a couple of seconds. Josie, Dodge and Lily all silent as they registered the yell, the door slam and the dramatic exit of their Mama. Even the dogs in the yard stopped barking.

What in the actual fuck? Ali thought to herself as she stood there, dumbfounded. She was more than a little pissed off too. She had come home to similar scenes in the past, but never like this. Ashlyn had never just stormed out of the house without any explanation. If she was mad at the kids, which any parent will tell you is a common hazard of the job, she would always, at least, greet her wife and welcome her home – especially if Ali was just returning from a trip, even for just one night away. That was a first in their relationship and the brunette was not pleased. But she didn’t have time to think much about it. As if someone threw a switch, the dogs started barking again and the three kids picked up right where they had left off 30 seconds earlier. The brunette’s head was pounding already and she had only been home for 5 minutes.

It took Ali almost an hour to get Lily to stop crying, get Josie to stop trying to kill Dodge, get Dodge to stop antagonizing Josie, get her own clothes changed, and get the dogs inside and fed. It was 5:30pm on a Thursday and she still had lots more to do.

“Mommy I’m hungry” Dodge announced as he trotted into the kitchen where the brunette was just starting to try and make heads or tails of what Ashlyn’s plan had been for dinner.

“I’m working on it Dodger. Do you know what Mama was making?”

“Umm...a hot dog for Wee...” he scrunched his face up in thought as he pushed and pulled himself off of the edge of the counter next to his mother, never moving his feet, in a kind of an upright plank exercise that he was doing just for fun. “But then she said Wee couldn’t have a hot dog cuz, umm, she stole. And then she was making chicken tenders for me and Jojo...”

“Wait, what?” Ali stopped what she was doing and turned to face her son, giving him her full attention. “Stole? What happened this afternoon anyway?”

Ali felt bad trying to get the intel from the boy but Ashlyn hadn’t answered any of her calls or replied to any of her texts since she backed out of the driveway in her Jeep much too fast an hour ago.

“Umm...let’s see...” Dodge took a deep breath before spilling the whole story, as best he could remember, and from his 7-1/2 year old perspective. “We stopped at the store after school...”

“The grocery store?” Ali’s eyebrows went up at the ambitious move by her wife.

“No, no” Dodge shook his head. “The little store.”

Ali knew that meant the convenience store and nodded her head.

“Ok, so what happened?” she listened to Dodge as she moved around the kitchen getting dinner ready for the kids. Twists and meatballs it was. Nobody hated that.

“Well, we could all get one thing but we had to pick it fast. And, you know how Wee is” he rolled his eyes. “She had two things and she wanted both and Mama said no and she got mad...”

“Who got mad, Mama or Wee?”

“Both” he laughed as he realized it was true. “But Wee finally got that little umm...you know... the little chewy thing she likes” he tilted his head up at Ali, hoping she would provide the word that was escaping him at the moment.

“I don’t know honey, but keep going...” 

“Yeah, you know...the chewy things...” he was unwilling to let it go and unable to appreciate why Ali didn’t really care what Lily had finally chosen, “they’re sour...”

“Sour punchies?”

“Yeah! That’s it” he grinned, happy to have the mystery solved. 

He jumped over two steps and hugged Ali’s leg to thank her and then clung on to her, moving with her as she crossed from the sink back to the stove. He wasn’t hanging on to her with his whole bodyweight. He was supporting himself but just moving with her so it didn’t bother the brunette. On the contrary, she loved this sweet, tender side of Dodge. She just wished she had more time for it right at that moment.

“Ok, so then what happened?”

Dodge spent five minutes telling her about his candy and the ride home in the Jeep and how he and Josie had started to play Candyland when they got home, which explained what they had been fighting about – Ali knew that Josie had a fit if she couldn’t play with the Queen Frostine playing piece and Dodge most certainly had been keeping it from her and causing her to chase him. 

“Lily wasn’t playing Candyland with you?”

“Oh, yeah, right. I forgot” he giggled and continued to move around the small kitchen table in a slow circle as he talked. “She was gonna but she got put in timeout.”

Ali waited for him to keep going but had to keep prodding him along, trying to keep the frustration out of her voice all the while.

“What was she in timeout for?”

When Ali was soothing Lily right after Ashlyn left, she had been unable to get the girl to tell her anything about what had happened or why she was being punished. She didn’t think anybody but Ashlyn knew, but now her patience with Dodge and his long-winded story was starting to pay off.

“For stealing” he said as if it was obvious. “I already said that, geez.”

“What did she steal?” Ali asked, shocked.

It took Dodge entirely too long to try and describe the candy that Lily had stolen, which was a ring pop. But the pieces to the puzzle were starting to fall together now. Ashlyn was upset, probably mortified, that one of her children had stolen something. She punished Lily as soon as she realized what she had done. And then the wheels had fallen off probably right before Ali walked in the door.

“Is Mama taking me to practice tonight?” Lily asked as she washed her hands for dinner in the kitchen sink.

Ali’s mind spun. She had been so distracted by righting the ship when she walked in the door that she had forgotten that it was Thursday and that Lily and Ashlyn, the head coach, had basketball practice at 6pm that night. It was already 6:15 and they were just about to start eating dinner.

“No, I guess not” she replied, taking a couple of seconds to call and text her wife again for confirmation. 

She thought about texting Tom, Ashlyn’s assistant coach for Lily’s team, but knew he’d be in the gym with the girls already running practice if her wife wasn’t there. A flash of aggravation passed through her as Ashlyn’s selfish behavior left Ali not knowing what to do or say.

“Did she go without me?” Lily asked tentatively, her bottom lip starting to quiver just a bit.

“I don’t know honey” Ali sighed and gave her daughter a sympathetic frown as she herded the three youngest Kriegers to the nook table for dinner.

“Hi Mrs. Krieger” Ethan called out as he walked into the family room from the dining room, Drew close on his heels.

Ali jumped a mile and then laughed as she tried to catch her breath.

“Oh my God, Ethan, you surprised me” she chuckled. “Are you staying for dinner?”

“Yeah” Drew frowned as she took a seat. “Mama said he could.”

“It’s totally fine, I just didn’t know, that’s all” she smiled and bit back more frustration and a good deal of embarrassment. She didn’t even know the two boys were in the house. She assumed they were at Ethan’s house. “But you both need to go wash your hands. Go on” she recovered and hoped she had made enough food.

The distraction of the two older boys had been a welcome change of conversation topic. Lily seemed to forget about the fit she was about to have and the 5 kids ate and joked together pretty well for almost half an hour. Ali took five minutes before joining them at the table to scroll back through the group text she and Ashlyn shared with Sam and Lisa Machado to see what else she had missed. But there was nothing new. Just Ashlyn and Sam arranging for Ethan to go home with Drew after school and stay for dinner. Lisa would pick him up at 7pm. Towards the end of the half hour, Drew spoke up, finally catching on to the fact that it was Thursday and Ashlyn was at Lily’s practice but Lily was not.

“Where’s Mama?” he looked at his Mom. “Why aren’t you at practice?” he looked at Lily.

Ali saw all five faces, even Ethan’s, watching for her reply. She didn’t really know what to say because she had no idea where her wife was or when she was coming back. But she didn’t want the kids to worry. Lily already looked like she was going to cry again.

“She went out for a while but she’ll be back” the brunette smiled confidently.

“She’s not at practice?” Drew clarified, trying to understand. “Are you sick or something?” he turned again to Lily.

Josie sighed heavily and then spoke, her words plain as day as she recapped the afternoon’s events.

“Mama got mad cuz Lily stole candy from the store...”

Drew’s eyes went big as he looked at his youngest sister in shock. He and Ethan obviously hadn’t been privy to that part of things, which made sense because they must have gone right down to the basement to play video games as soon as they walked in the door.

“Then Logan knocked the gate over and got her muddy feet all over the floor” the redhead nodded to the kitchen, filling in more blanks for Ali. “Then Lily started crying because Mama yelled at her and put her in timeout. Then Dodge took Queen Frostine and wouldn’t give her back so I got mad and chased him...” she at least had the good grace to show some regret for her part in the shitshow from the afternoon.

“Then we almost crashed into her” Dodge added excitedly. “And she yelled really loud at us and then left” he shrugged with a smile. “Oh, and she slammed the door soooooooo loud” his eyebrows were both up high, “it sounded like a explosion.”

“Huh, that’s what that noise was” Drew nodded at Ethan with a chuckle. “We thought somebody drove a car into the house or something.”

“Well, thanks for coming up to check on the rest of us” Ali shook her head in amazement and rolled her eyes at her oldest son.

“Oh yeah, and Mommy came home” Josie finished with a nod and a self-satisfied smile.

All of the kids started talking about different parts of the story, Drew focusing on the theft event that was the catalyst for everything else.

“I didn’t mean to” Lily tried to explain herself, her voice whiny and her lip quivering again.

“Oh don’t cry about it” Drew rolled his eyes as he spoke the words every other person at the table wanted to say as well. 

“You mean it was an accident?” Dodge asked his twin, giving her a sympathetic look as he waited for the facts to be presented.

“It was” Lily nodded, eyes red and face pink. “I didn’t mean to...I...I...I...” she stuttered for a couple of seconds, “I just forgot. I put the ring pop in my pocket so I could open the Punchies. I didn’t notice it again until we got home.”

It made perfect sense and Ali believed her. It was sometimes difficult to know when Lily was lying or telling the truth but this felt honest and true to the brunette.

“What an idiot” Drew chuckled, but smiled at his little sister. “Do you still have it?”

“No” Lily giggled, still sounding anxious and glancing quickly at Ali to see if it was ok to be laughing about it yet. “Mama took it” she dropped her eyes when she saw the brunette’s frown. It was too soon to find it funny.

“Alright. Let’s get our plates in the sink and then do homework” Ali stood up with a warm smile, despite all the mixed emotions consuming her at the moment. “Who’s doing the dishwasher tonight?”

“I am” Drew answered glumly as Ethan laughed at him.

“Well it’s a good thing Ethan’s here to help you then” she winked at her son and gave Ethan a playful smirk. “Let’s go everybody” she raised her voice as the loud sounds of chairs sliding across the hardwood floor filled the room. “And wash your hands and mouths, I don’t want sauce all over this house!” she called out after the pack as it travelled en masse to the sink and dishwasher in the kitchen.

It wasn’t until after Lisa picked Ethan up at 7pm that Ali saw the text from Whitney.

Whit: She’s here. She’s ok.  
Ali: Thanks for letting me know.

The brunette had a flashback to the handful of times she and her wife’s best friend had exchanged texts like that before. The first time had been back in the summer of 2015 after their first fight, still as good friends and nothing more. Ali had tried to talk to Ashlyn about the horrible phone conversation she had overhead between Hannah and one of her friends while she was measuring the windows at the big old house. Whitney had texted her shortly after chasing after the keeper who had stormed away from Ali and the bar and had taken off down the street by herself in the dark. Some things would never change. Ali would never be able to get her keeper to talk to her until she was good and ready. No matter how hard she tried or how many years had passed. 

Whitney never gave her any information besides the essentials when she texted like that, and Ali respected her for it. Ashlyn’s pride didn’t often get in the way of her relationship with her wife, but when it did, as it seemed to be doing that night, Ali was grateful she could count on Whitney Elizabeth Engen Flanagan to be both kind and considerate, as usual.


	16. 2 Shrinks are Better than 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since you asked so nicely....
> 
> But two things:  
> 1 - you asked for it  
> 2 - don't get mad at me if I fall behind because I'm a softie and posted two chapters in the same day
> 
> <3

“It’s nice to see you both. Hard to believe it’s already February” Dr. Mattie Olsen smiled warmly at Ashlyn and Ali as they sat on the couch across from her. There was a good deal of space between the two wives. “You remember Dr. Emerson, of course” she made the unnecessary reintroduction because she was just that polite and accommodating.

Mattie was retiring at the end of the summer that year and had taken a long time last year trying to find someone to take over her patients and practice. She knew that choosing a therapist was extremely personal for every one of her patients and that some of them wouldn’t like the attractive, young doctor, no matter how much Mattie herself liked her or believed her to be the perfect fit for her practice. Dr. Cassidy Emerson was 32 years old and had just relocated up to the North Shore of Boston after moving back home to New England. She had spent four years in the Peace Corps, after getting her bachelor’s degree in Psychology at Harvard, and that had kept her travelling all over the world. She spent two years getting her Masters degree at Duke University and then two more years getting her Doctorate from the same prestigious institution. Ashlyn, the Tarheel, was still coming to terms with the fact that she would be confiding in and trusting a Blue Devil – UNC and Duke were bitter rivals. 

After getting her Doctorate, Cassidy moved up to New York City for two years and started working with different practices, getting invaluable experience from the diverse cultural population there. She was a highly-prized young doctor and Mattie knew she was lucky to have her on board. The wily old therapist knew she had been a bit lucky too. Cassidy wanted to move back to New England to be close to her young nieces and nephews as well as her aging parents.

“Yes, hi Dr. Emerson” Ali replied, politely, even though she was distracted and anxious as hell about their appointment.

“Please, call me Cassidy” the young woman gave both patients a genuine smile that lit up the room.

She was beautiful but didn’t seem to know that about herself. She was 5’ 10” tall with long blonde hair that was thick and straight and fell below her shoulders. She had a big, heart-shaped face with large, deep blue eyes and expressive features. She wasn’t skinny but she certainly wasn’t overweight either. She was full-figured and made Ashlyn think about the women who were considered drop-dead gorgeous back in the day but who would be thought of as not quite thin enough nowadays. Images of sex symbols like Marilyn Monroe, Rita Hayworth, and Jayne Mansfield had come quickly to the keeper when she had first met the young doctor who was supposed to guide her past her demons and keep her on an even keel once Mattie Olsen retired. But the most distinctive thing about the young and beautiful Dr. Cassidy Emerson was her unending, unwavering, totally authentic niceness. It almost seemed fake at first and both Ali and Ashlyn talked to Mattie about it privately. But the wise old woman explained that Cassidy really was just that nice of a human being. Mattie encouraged her patients to trust what they were seeing and hearing and feeling instead of judging it and expecting it to be some sort of trick played on them. 

“Hey Cassidy, thanks” Ashlyn nodded and tried to smile but couldn’t quite manage it.

It had been 5 days since the keeper had abruptly left the big old house that Thursday night. She had spent that night at Whitney’s house and come back home Friday morning to a frosty reception from her wife. Ali had been working in the garage office, she had a lot to do to wrap up her NYC trip where she had been trying to land a new client for the company. The brunette had been on a video conference call when Ashlyn had poked her head up from the stairs to assess the situation. She didn’t feel like talking yet but she knew she owed her wife an apology for leaving the way she had the night before. The keeper got a reprieve when she found her wife unavailable.

They kept their distance for the rest of the day, exchanging texts to determine who would be picking up the kids from school. Ashlyn asked to do it so she could apologize to the kids for storming out of the house. On the way home after school, she stopped at the convenience store and brought Lily in with her to apologize to the store owner. The little girl did her best to explain what had happened the day before as Ashlyn held out the unopened ring pop in her palm. She paid the owner for it and then threw it in the garbage can right outside the store. Ashlyn didn’t go into any details when they got home and she made her apology, but the kids knew she was being sincere. They could tell she was upset and sorry just by her body language and demeanor.

“You know how sometimes it’s hard to be a kid?” she had asked her children as she got them their snacks after school. “Well, sometimes it’s hard to be a mom. And sometimes I just need a break. Sometimes I just need to go see my best friend for a little while.”

The kids didn’t understand much of it but they were quick to forgive the keeper, especially when she suggested they all watch a movie together instead of doing homework that Friday afternoon. Ali and Ashlyn had kept a respectful distance for the rest of the evening, neither sure what to do next. The brunette still didn’t even know what the hell the problem was and that was making her angrier with each hour that slipped by. She was afraid of lashing out at her wife so she chose to keep her distance and wait for Ashlyn to make the first move. 

Ashlyn was embarrassed by her behavior and afraid of what kind of trouble she was in with the brunette. She chickened out entirely and let the whole day and night go by without approaching her wife at all. Ali went to bed early and fell asleep almost immediately, legitimately exhausted from her hectic, compact business trip and then the stressful, difficult 29 hours she had endured since returning home. Ashlyn again chose the cowardly route and didn’t wake her sleeping bride. Saturday arrived with all of its various practices and games and shuttling children all over the place. Ashlyn had plans with Niki and Whitney that had been made weeks ago for that evening and didn’t come home until late, again missing her wife and the chance to talk.

“I don’t know what the hell is going on, but we’re talking about it tonight. No excuses” Ali pointed her finger in her wife’s direction Sunday morning as they got ready for another busy day – this time full of indoor soccer and a birthday party for the twins to attend. There was nothing about the brunette’s demeanor that was light or easy. She was pissed and Ashlyn knew it. “Do you hear me?”

“Yeah, got it” Ashlyn nodded as she went down the backstairs to get breakfast going, bristling at the harsh tone from her wife. She had fucked up and she had to pay the price. The keeper spent the better part of the day worrying about ‘the talk’ and making herself more anxious and upset than she had been in the first place.

Finally, Sunday night came and the kids were in bed, all tucked in and read to and loved up after another busy weekend. Instead of going to the children together to tuck each one in, they made their own solo trips to say goodnight. That wasn’t unique, there were many nights where that happened, but they did try to do the tucking in together whenever they could in case there was something they needed to talk to one of the kids about as unified parents. When Ashlyn made her way down the front stairs, Ali was waiting for her in the family room, a pissed-off expression plastered on her face. She pointed to the floor and the keeper’s stomach dropped. They only had their talks in the basement when one of them was so angry that they knew they wouldn’t be able to contain their yelling. So they put a full, empty floor between them and the sleeping children.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” the brunette’s voice was as sharp and unforgiving as the look on her face.

Ashlyn stared at her, standing among the gym equipment at the far end of the basement, and wondered how the fuck she had gotten herself into this predicament. But she knew she deserved it this time. She had behaved badly but, worse, she had disappeared on her wife again. That’s what bothered Ali more than anything and Ashlyn was well aware of it. 

“I’m sorry...” was all the keeper could get out before her words failed her altogether. She could see her wife’s anger turn into a fury with the inadequate explanation.

“Sorry? That’s all you’ve got after...whatever the hell that was Thursday night?!” Ali yelled. “And then you make me wait three days before you even talk to me about it?! And you know the only reason we’re talking about it now is because I’m making you...”

“You’re right, I know” Ashlyn nodded. “I’m sorry.”

Ali tried to rein herself in. She was on quite a roll and her keeper looked sad and contrite and sincerely remorseful. The brunette paced back and forth a few feet with her hands on her hips as she tried to calm down. Ashlyn took advantage of the cease fire to tell her wife about taking Lily back to the store to pay for the ring pop and apologize. 

“Why are you assuming that I even know what you’re talking about?” Ali asked, her voice still pinched but her volume was more controlled and she wasn’t waving her arms around as she spoke anymore.

“Oh, uh, I thought you knew...”

“How would I know what went on when my wife hasn’t talked to me for three fucking days?! I’m relying on half a story from a 7-year old, for fuck’s sake!”

Ashlyn took the verbal blow, acknowledging her failure, and then told Ali the story of what had happened Thursday afternoon. She apologized for not texting or calling to let the brunette know she was ok, knowing that was another huge letdown for her wife. As she watched Ali’s frustrated face stare back at her, Ashlyn started to get angry herself. Yes, she was at fault for this fight and she couldn’t deny it. Yes, she had done the one thing her wife had clearly told her, several times during their years together, that drove her absolutely crazy. And yes, dammit, this apology wasn’t as good as it should be. But still – did Ali have to be such a bitch about it? Ashlyn felt like she was one of the kids getting yelled at, except with swear words.

“You know what Al” Ashlyn set her jaw and shook her head angrily, “fuck this. I’m so tired of you doing everything right and being perfect all the time. I’m sorry, ok?!” she bellowed, far louder than the brunette had been so far. “I don’t know what else to tell you, but I’m not gonna stand here just so you can bitch me out!”

Ali, who had been trying hard to be patient and understanding, looked like somebody had just punched her in the face. She took a step back as if Ashlyn’s words had staggered her like a powerful fist. For one of the rare times when they fought, the brunette was speechless. She had been completely taken by surprise and, as the injured party in the situation, was expecting the keeper to be contrite and apologetic. Instead, Ashlyn had just lashed out at her and Ali had absolutely no idea why. As she stood there trying to process her wife’s harsh words, she thought about the other times in the past couple of months when Ashlyn had snapped at her for no reason with words that had a lot more bite than usual. The brunette opened her mouth to speak a couple of times but honestly didn’t know what to say. She felt like she was in a strange kind of fight where she didn’t know the rules or even what the dispute was about anymore. 

Ashlyn took advantage of her wife’s stunned silence and turned on her heel and went back upstairs. She got ready for bed, grabbed her pillow, journal and phone charger and went up to sleep on the couch in the studio. The brunette took a few minutes in the basement to think. Hard. Something was definitely going on that she didn’t understand. She wondered if her keeper even understood it. The other times they had gone through a disconnect like this had been when she had tried to force Ashlyn to talk about something that she wasn’t ready to share with her. Was that what was happening now too? Ali wasn’t willing to wait any longer. She was heartbroken when she realized her wife wasn’t going to be coming to bed that night. That was a true rarity. Even when they were angry with each other they always slept together. Ali could count on one hand the number of times they had slept apart in anger. She hated every one of them. 

The brunette spent a sleepless night running through all of the times over the past few months when Ashlyn had gotten upset about things that had never bothered her before and wrote them all down. She called Dr. Mattie Olsen in the morning and made an appointment for the both of them the next day, grateful that the therapist had room for them. Ashlyn had balked at going to see Mattie and refused to commit to the appointment. Ali finally had to threaten to call Whitney in and get her opinion on whether or not they needed to go to the appointment...that’s when the keeper relented and agreed to go see Mattie. That’s when Ali got truly frightened. That meant that Ashlyn was upset enough about something to confide in Whitney about it. And it meant that the keeper knew that Whitney would agree that she should talk to Mattie about whatever it was. This was a big deal and the brunette felt sick to her stomach with worry.

“So, shall we begin?” Mattie asked, knowing from her phone conversation with Ali that this wasn’t going to be just a regular check-in type of visit. “Ashlyn would you like to start?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say doc” she sighed. “I’m not the one who made the appointment.”

Mattie glanced quickly at Ali who gave her a pleading look in return. This is exactly the behavior the brunette had been trying to describe on the phone. The keeper was hostile and argumentative, she wasn’t acting like herself, and something was definitely troubling her.

“Well, let’s start with Thursday afternoon” Mattie pushed on, very gently. “I know from Ali what happened with Lily and the kids but she can’t tell me what happened from your perspective. She also can’t tell me what happened after you left the house.”

“Jesus, how many times do I have to apologize for that?” Ashlyn shook her head angrily and scowled. “I was having a bad day, ok? I had the kids by myself and it was hard and I just...I had to get out of there. Sometimes I just need to go to my studio to cool down and get my head straight. Sometimes I need to go to the garage office for some peace and quiet when I’m upset. And sometimes...hell, sometimes I just have to get the fuck out, all the way out. I don’t know how else to say it” she shrugged but her eyes were still full of fire.

“That all makes sense Ashlyn” Mattie soothed as she considered her patient’s answer. “We certainly all have bad days, there’s no doubt about that. And I give you a lot of credit for knowing what you needed in that moment and taking the necessary steps to stay on steady ground” she nodded encouragingly. “But can you help me understand why you didn’t let your wife know what was going on? Or that you were safe?”

“Oh here we go again” the keeper leaned forward with her elbows on her knees and rubbed her face with both hands. “I’ve apologized for that too. Many times. If all you wanted was to hear me say I’m sorry again we could have just done this at home and saved a whole bunch of money” Ashlyn addressed the last line to her wife with a glare. 

“Alright, alright” Mattie spoke quickly to keep Ali from replying and having the session devolve into an argument before they even knew what they were dealing with. “I hear that you’re sorry Ashlyn. That’s good. But do you know why you chose to do that?”

“To do what?”

“To keep her in the dark about where you were?”

“You make it sound like I did it on purpose to hurt her” Ashlyn frowned and sat back in her seat again.

“Did you?”

It was quiet in the comfortable room for the next couple of minutes but Mattie’s question had rung like a bell. Ali kept her eyes down and tugged anxiously on her fingers in her lap. Dr. Emerson jotted some notes down. Mattie waited patiently, watching Ashlyn with concern in her compassionate eyes.

“I...I don’t know” the keeper finally answered, her voice soft and hesitant for the first time. It was a stark contrast to the bluster that had already spewed from her mouth.

Ali closed her eyes and tried to pinpoint how she felt – anger and sadness and worry were all taking up equal space inside her at the moment.

“You don’t know, or you don’t want to say?” Mattie probed, her voice warm and non-judgmental.

“I guess so” Ashlyn dropped her eyes, ashamed and afraid of where they were headed. “I mean, I guess...I did...want to...hurt her...” she looked like she was in physical pain as she slowly stammered out the words. Words she never in a million years thought she would ever say about her wife.

“Ok, that’s good work Ashlyn” Mattie leaned forward and patted the keeper’s knee, knowing how she responded to physical contact and praise. The old therapist knew how much the keeper’s words had hurt both women on the couch. Her voice was steady and calm. “Very good.”

“How the hell is that good?” Ashlyn’s head snapped up and she gave the therapist a quizzical look. “That’s fucking terrible. God, what the fuck is wrong with me?” she looked down again, face full of confusion and anger.

“It’s good that you’re able to identify what happened, the choice you made. Now we can try and understand why you felt that way.”

They spent several minutes trying to work out what Ashlyn was going through or experiencing that had brought about this feeling. The keeper claimed that it was just a one-time thing and that she hadn’t felt that desire to hurt Ali before that Thursday afternoon outburst.

“But that’s not true” the brunette shook her head, her voice sad and soft. “You’ve been...short with me for a couple of months now” she looked at her wife but Ashlyn wouldn’t meet her gaze.

When the keeper didn’t offer any rebuttal to the statement, Mattie asked Ali to elaborate. The brunette read off the list she had put together Sunday night when she should have been sleeping, with her wife. She didn’t dwell on any of the 7 or 8 instances, just named them and explained the setting so Mattie and Cassidy could get a feel for what had been going on. 

“I didn’t notice it at the time” Ali continued after Mattie thanked her for the information. “I just thought it was stress from whatever was going on in each situation. But I’ve been thinking about it since...you told us about Thursday” she cleared her throat, trying to hide the hurt that she knew they could all hear in her voice. “And you were really mad at me all of those other times too. Not just frustrated with the situation. You...it sounded to me like your words were aimed to hurt me” she corrected herself before using accusatory language that would be counter-productive. 

“Ok, very good Ali, thank you” Mattie nodded her approval at the brunette and gave her a supportive smile. She knew this conversation was very painful for her and wanted to let her know that she knew. “This is a tough spot, but I feel like we’re making progress. Do you feel it too?” she looked from one wife to the other.

“Yeah.”  
“I guess so.”

They talked for another fifteen minutes about those individual instances and why Ashlyn might have lashed out. Mattie focused on the incident with Lily in the mudroom when she and Ali had come back from the food pantry. Ashlyn’s snarky comment to Ali was the key to what the problem was, in the therapist’s opinion anyway.

“I want to look at the words you used, specifically. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but you both remember Ashlyn saying ‘Well I’m sure you’ll figure it out. You’re mother of the year after all. Nobody can do any of this better than you.’” 

Both wives nodded, with different looks of anguish on their faces.

“And then Thursday, just before you left the house, you said ‘Good. You’re home. They’ll be so relieved.’”

“Rehashing all of this isn’t making it any less painful” Ali objected, not seeing the point in analyzing every word instead of trying to get to the root cause of the hurtful words. “What am I missing here?”

Ali sounded as forlorn as Mattie had ever heard her, and she had helped the brunette through some pretty tough stuff in the past 14 years or so.

“Just bear with me a little bit longer” the therapist requested with a little nod. “I think it’ll be worth it.”

“I don’t see the point either doc” Ashlyn exhaled loudly, rubbing her hands down her thighs and back up again. Her knee was bouncing and she couldn’t hide her impatience or anxiety any more.

“Those words are very specific and I think will explain what’s going on...underneath the words and the anger you’re feeling” Mattie tilted her head at the keeper, inviting her to dig into the problem again and help get it identified. “Do you feel that Ali is a better mother to your children than you are?”

Boom. Shot across the bow delivered with no warning.

“What?” Ashlyn recoiled and shook her head quickly. “No.”

“That’s ridiculous” Ali frowned and spoke at the same time as her wife.

“Well, I think we can all agree that it’s not true” Mattie raised her eyebrows as she spoke the next words clearly and carefully, waiting for the two smart women in front of her to figure it out. “But the truth doesn’t always coincide with what we’re feeling, or with what we’re afraid of.”

Ashlyn went pale and dropped her eyes again. Ali looked at Mattie as if she were insane but then caught the look on her wife’s face. Holy shit.

“You don’t actually think that, do you?” she turned her body a bit to face Ashlyn on the couch. They were still at least a foot away from each other and not touching at all. “I mean, that’s so untrue it’s comical. We talk all the time about how much we appreciate each other as moms and co-parents...”

Ali looked from Mattie to her wife and back to the therapist again. She was confused and getting aggravated. Mattie gave her a look that encouraged her to be patient while the keeper did some hard work of her own.

“I know it’s not really true” Ashlyn finally spoke in a small, timid voice, never lifting her eyes. “But sometimes...it feels like the kids know you’re the better mom.”

Mattie urged her to keep digging and try to work out where that feeling came from, because it wasn’t from the kids. Both moms agreed that the kids didn’t behave differently or better for one of them over the other. It took a while, but Ashlyn was able to put words to what she had been feeling for several months.

“It’s like there was always this balance between us, with the kids. You’re the boss, the alpha I guess” she shrugged as she tried to explain. “And I’m ok with that” she added quickly, before Ali could counter the statement. “And I’m the one who spends the afternoons with them and it...I don’t know how to say it, it evened everything out. My part was just as important as your part.” Ashlyn took a breath and kept going. “You’re the one who does all the planning and does the schedule and that’s just who you are and I love you for it” she smiled weakly at her wife who looked like she was going to crawl out of her skin with worry about what was coming next. “You’re the one they always go to first when they get hurt...”

“But that’s only because you don’t like blood” the brunette gently reminded her wife. “And you know they go to whoever is closest most of the time anyway.”

“Ok, maybe, but the point is, you’re the boss mom” Ashlyn smiled unexpectedly. “It even says so on the giant coffee cup on your desk” she chuckled.

Ali was still confused but she couldn’t resist the sweetness and innocence coming from her wife, even if she disagreed with the point she was trying to make.

“Ashlyn” Ali spoke softly and gave her keeper a sweet smile. She reached for her wife’s hand, happy when the blonde held her hand on the couch between them. 

“Does it bother you that Ali is the boss mom?” Mattie picked up the thread that she knew would lead them towards discovery. “You mentioned that there was a balance between you...?” she left her question unfinished, hoping the keeper would expound on it.

“No, it doesn’t bother me, because there is a balance. We’re both good at different things, we always have been” she nodded as she spoke and it almost looked like she was convincing herself of the facts as she explained them to the therapist. “We’ve always made the best team” Ashlyn smiled deeply at her wife for the first time in several days. “It’s true with parenting too. Don’t you think?” she asked the brunette.

“I definitely agree with that. I tell people all the time what a great mom you are, you’ve heard me do it” Ali squeezed her keeper’s hand.

“From those two statements, the fight with Lily and the situation Thursday night, it sounds like you don’t really feel that way though Ashlyn. Do you feel like there’s a good balance of power between you two when it comes to the parenting?” Dr. Emerson asked, speaking up for the first time in almost 45 minutes. “I know I don’t know you that well yet” she smiled warmly at the keeper, “but maybe that’s a good thing right now, for this problem we’re trying to solve. I have a more objective point of view. I believe you when you say there’s always been a balance of power between you and your wife, but I can tell you without a doubt that your words are telling me something different.”

Ashlyn was quiet and she tried to pull her hand away but Ali wouldn’t let it go. The brunette was perplexed by this whole conversation but she felt like they were about to have a breakthrough and didn’t want her wife to stop just yet. 

“Is that true Ash?” she asked tentatively. “Do you feel like something’s different with us, as moms?” she scooted a little closer to her wife and kept encouraging her. “Can you tell me what it is? I’d really like to get back to the balance we had before. I can’t see it though, I need your help.”

Ali’s brain was spinning at top speed as she tried to figure out what her wife was talking about. Was it possible that something really had changed with the way they were parenting the kids? The brunette couldn’t think of anything specific but that didn’t mean it wasn’t happening. Something had caused a big change in Ashlyn over the past few months and Ali just wanted to know what it was so they could correct it. She would do anything to make it better.

“It does sound as though you feel like you’re not as good a mother as Ali” Mattie spoke again, trying to keep Ashlyn moving in the right direction before their hour was up. “Is that a fair statement of where your head is at right now?”

After one more long pause, the keeper finally spoke. She kept her eyes down, embarrassed by her admission.

“I think the kids know she’s a better mom. I think...the more time they spend with her the more obvious it becomes to them.”

Ali opened her mouth to disagree but a subtle head shake from Mattie made her hold her tongue.

“I think on Thursday...I think they would have rather had Ali home with them that afternoon instead of me.”

“What makes you think that?” Mattie probed again. “Did they say something to make you think that?”

“No, but...they don’t listen to me as well anymore. And I got so frustrated when I tried to make dinner...” she stopped speaking, cheeks pink with embarrassment and eyes still in her lap.

“What happened when you tried to make dinner, tell us so we can understand.”

Ashlyn spent a few minutes telling different stories about how the kids had been asking for the dishes that Ali made for dinner instead of the ones that Ashlyn was good at. Drew had refused to eat the meatballs one evening because they didn’t taste as good as they did when Ali made them. That had been part of the problem Thursday night and why there were so many different dinner options half-started.

“But you’ve been making them dinner their whole lives” the brunette squinted, trying to understand. “You make them dinner far more often than I do. Drew is usually telling me I don’t make nachos the way you do and then not eating them. I don’t get it.”

Ashlyn gave Mattie a hopeful, anxious look and the therapist nodded back at her. The exchange made Ali think they had discussed this before, at one of Ashlyn’s solo appointments.

“You’ve been making them dinner a lot more...this year” Ashlyn choked out, her nerves almost taking control of her tongue and stilling it. She couldn’t manage to look at the brunette as she spoke though. 

“Well, yeah, I’ve been home a lot more but it hasn’t been that big of a deal...” Ali stopped talking as the lightbulb went off in her head. “Has it?”

Ashlyn and Mattie shared another look and then the therapist nodded at the keeper again.

“Umm...”

“Wait a minute” Ali squeezed her eyes shut as her brain spun. “You’re saying that because I’ve been home more this year that the balance of power, or whatever, is off?” she opened her eyes and stared intently at her wife. It wasn’t a harsh look, but it was serious and insistent and it demanded a reply.

“No, I never said that” Ashlyn’s eyes went wide and she looked at Mattie for assistance. “Did I?” she frowned in confusion.

“Not specifically, no” the therapist replied to the keeper. “But I think Ali’s hit the nail on the head.”

Only Mattie had understood exactly what was going on, until Ali made the connection a minute earlier, and it was because she had been working with Ashlyn for a few months on some of the challenges she faced with the brunette being home so much this past year. Ashlyn hadn’t made the connection for herself yet about how any of it tied in to the anger she was feeling.

“You do?”  
“I have?”  
Both wives spoke at the same time.

“Ashlyn, I don’t think you’ll mind me revealing this now that we’re in this session, but you’ve been talking with me about feeling...less-needed with the kids this year while Ali’s been working from home. I think that feeling has intensified as the year has progressed and taken you to a different place. A place where, perhaps, you feel more insecure in your parenting role at home.”

Both women on the couch listened to their trusted therapist with their mouths slightly open, still holding hands but barely aware of it after the revelatory analysis.

“You think me being at home more has caused...this?” Ali looked pale as guilt washed over her.

“There’s no single cause for what’s been happening, but I think you being home is definitely part of what’s going on with Ashlyn and her feelings of inadequacy with the kids.”

“Hey, inadequacy is a little tough, don’t you think?” Ashlyn felt and sounded defensive now that everything was out in the open.

“Maybe” Mattie considered. “But how would you describe your feelings instead?”

The keeper didn’t have a response and the room went quiet for a couple of minutes.

“I think the feelings of inadequacy stem from the resentment you’ve been feeling all year” Dr. Emerson added thoughtfully. “You’ve always been the mom who has been at home with the kids after school, making dinner, and taking on that particular role. This year, your wife has been home instead, taking on more and more of that role. It’s only natural for you to resent her for it, whether you were consciously aware of it or not. That resentment is also the reason you’ve been...lashing out at her more often. It’s why you’ve been having these angry outbursts. You are angry with her, on a subconscious level if not consciously, for taking over your role and usurping your power. Which brings us to the notion of the balance of power you mentioned. Of course the shift in your roles has caused an imbalance. You felt it and your wife didn’t and that has everything to do with the fact that you are the parent or partner whose power has been reduced.”

Ali and Ashlyn sat there quietly, trying to take in everything the young therapist had just spelled out for them. Their heads were swimming but, as far as they could tell based on their first pass at the explanation, it made a lot of sense. 

“Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?” Ashlyn asked Mattie, a mixture of hurt and sadness in the keeper’s eyes.

“You’ve shared a lot of new information with me today Ashlyn” she smiled warmly. “I haven’t been holding out on you, I promise. There were a lot of elements at play here and I believe it took all of them being shared at the same time for the real issues to become visible.”

“Issues...how many issues do we have, exactly?” the keeper’s eyes went wide.

“It’s been a challenging year for both of you, as you dealt with the effects from Emily’s stalking and attack. I’ve talked with both of you about this before and I’m sure we’ll continue to talk about it as you each make more and more progress” Mattie offered, reminding both wives that they were allowed to still be figuring things out after that nightmare. “Ali, you’ve been awfully quiet. What are you thinking about?”

“Oh man, where should I start?” the brunette replied, her face registering sadness and regret more than anything. 

“Start anywhere. There’s not a rulebook” the therapist urged, her voice kind and patient.

“I guess, to finish this most recent thing off from Thursday, I’m really upset that you didn’t talk to me about any of this Ash. I had no idea what was going on. And then I was worried sick about you that night, thank God Whitney texted me. And that makes me angry to have to say that. Why do I need to rely on Whitney to know that my own wife is safe and not dead on the side of the road somewhere?” she paused to take a breath and try and stay calm.

“I know honey, I’m so sorry” Ashlyn squeezed her wife’s hand. “I understand better now why I made that choice, but it was still a really shitty thing to do. I just...I feel awful about it. I’m afraid I’m going to keep making that same stupid mistake for the rest of my life. But I’ll keep working on it. I promise.”

“I’m afraid of that too” Ali admitted softly, not wanting to pile on but trying to be open about her fears too. “I know you’ll keep trying to do better, I know you will” she gave her keeper a hopeful smile, but a small one.

“That’s good ladies” Mattie nodded. “How about the rest of what we’ve talked about today Ali? How does Cassidy’s theory sound to you?”

“It sounds smart and accurate and I can’t believe I never noticed it, or...even really thought about it” she looked down sheepishly. “I’m sorry honey” she blinked up at Ashlyn. “All I’ve been thinking about is me this year. What I needed to feel better about...all of the Emily bullshit; how hard it was for me to be back in my office; how nice it was to be home with the kids more...” she paused. “I’ve been really selfish and I’m sorry.”

“Al, that’s sweet but you haven’t been selfish” Ashlyn shook her head and gave her wife a loving look. “I don’t think anybody would be able to just go back to their office after...that all happened.”

“But it’s been over a year already” Ali protested quietly. “And I could have tried harder. I should have tried harder...”

“I don’t think it’s productive to play the blame game” Mattie interrupted carefully. “You both have struggled with different things over the past year and have done hard work to try and get through them. You’re both to be commended for that. I think the biggest problem we’ve got is something that you two usually do very well. This time, not as good as we would have hoped however.”

“What’s that?” Ashlyn asked.

“Communication. Most of what has troubled you this time could have been eliminated or at least mitigated by some good communication” the therapist looked from Ashlyn to Ali as she spoke, making sure they knew the criticism was meant for both of them. “It’s very simple to understand but difficult to do sometimes. I challenge you both to work on that as you move forward” she smiled at them and glanced at the clock. “And, unfortunately, we’re out of time for today, but I’d like to pick this up with you again, soon.”

They made a follow up appointment for the next month and walked to the minivan, holding hands as usual. They didn’t feel quite as close as they normally did after a joint therapy session, but they both knew they had lots still to talk about. It had been a big reveal and it had come towards the end of the appointment and there hadn’t been enough time to really wrap it up and put a bow on it.

“Are you ok?” Ashlyn asked once they were sitting in the minivan, waiting for the heat to kick in. “It’s ok if you don’t want to talk to me right now...”

“Ashlyn, I’ve been trying to talk to you for five days” she answered, exasperated but trying hard not to fight with her wife. Especially not now that she knew how long she had been struggling with the way Ali being home more had changed their lives for the last year. “I want to talk to you. I always want to talk to you babe” her voice softened. “I don’t know how to convince you of that.” 

“I know” Ashlyn looked down.

“I told you this a long time ago, after that time you stayed in Orlando, before we even moved in together, do you remember?”

“Yeah, I do” the keeper nodded, a tiny smile on her face. “You said you were team Ashlyn all the way but you couldn’t help me if you didn’t know what was going on. Something like that” she shrugged and her smile got a little bigger as she remembered one of her favorite moments with the brunette. “That was when I first told you about my depression. And I still can’t believe you didn’t run screaming in the other direction from me after that” she chuckled.

“Don’t say that” Ali cocked her head and leaned as far as she could across the console between the two front seats. “Come here” she smiled into the tender kiss once Ashlyn met her halfway. “I love you so much sweetheart, and it’s only getting stronger and deeper the longer we’re together. I’ll never get upset with you if you just tell me what’s going on with you. I promise. I get mad when you keep it all bottled up. Because, it only stays bottled up for so long before it starts coming out and getting a lot worse.”

“I know, I know, you’re right” Ashlyn sighed in frustration. “This one really snuck up on me. I swear. I love having you home more, I swear to God I do” she looked sincerely at her brunette. “You have to know that.”

“I do know that, at least I thought I did” she made an eek face and then laughed nervously. “Maybe just not quite as much, huh?”

“Honestly, I think it wouldn’t have bothered me nearly as much any other year.”

“Why this year?”

Ashlyn swallowed and took a minute to meet her wife’s eyes.

“Because, I’m having a hard time with...almost killing Emily” she whispered and closed her eyes and Ali cupped her cheek with one hand and continued holding her hand with the other. “It’s just...it’s made me angry, which doesn’t make any sense to me, at all. And I think that affects me with other stuff” she shrugged, “like feeling inadequate with my parenting skills” she rolled her eyes and looked embarrassed.

“Aw honey, don’t make light of it” Ali leaned in for another soft kiss. “I can’t even imagine what you’re going through with...that, but it’s a big deal and I don’t want you to try and make it less than it is, ok?”

“Ok. Thank you” Ashlyn was quiet and then she chuckled.

“What’s so funny?”

“Oh I’m just thinking about that big speech I gave you when we got home from Florida a few weeks ago. The one when I gave you the ben wa balls?”

“Yes. Got it” Ali blushed at the thought of the ben wa balls and the sexy times they had enjoyed before and after the tense conversation they had shared about the sex toys. “I really liked that speech” she smiled. “Why is it funny now?”

“Well, I was all ‘no more Emily stuff’” she mimicked her speech about being fed up with dealing with leftover Emily effects. “And here we are, both of us still trying to deal with one more Emily thing” she laughed. “I conveniently left you and your office and me and my problem with almost killing somebody out of that speech. And here we are.”

“But I don’t care where we are,” Ali spoke seriously, “as long as we’re in the same place. I want to know what you’re feeling and thinking Ash, always. That’s never going to change.”

“I know, I feel the same way. I don’t know what the fuck my problem is” she groaned and closed her eyes. “I’m not this fucking stupid, I swear I’m not” she gave the brunette a pleading look. “Things just get...mixed up in my head I guess. It’s hard to explain, but I swear to you I’m not just trying to be an asshole.”

“I know honey, I know” Ali smiled again, touched by the brutal honesty of her wife, as usual. “Neither of us is perfect and we never have been. But we don’t have to be, as long as we stick together and...”

“Talk to each other...” Ashlyn finished the sentence for her wife. “Maybe after another 15 years together we’ll finally get it right” she winked.

It felt too early to joke about the difficult appointment they had just gone through. But both women were so relieved to have some answers that they almost felt giddy. They knew there was still lots of work to be done, but it was such a relief to finally know what needed to be worked on. They were both filled with optimism, even after the hard truths they had just faced.

“I like the sound of that” Ali smiled softly.

“The finally getting it right?” the keeper smiled back, her tawny hazel eyes looking lighter than they had in a very long time.

“No, the 15 more years together” Ali smiled again as the two wives met over the console for another kiss. This one lingered and carried heartfelt emotions from one pair of lips to the other. The brunette exhaled a contented sigh as they pulled apart for breath. “Just change it to 50.”


	17. Newport

Four days after their emergency session with Dr. Olsen and Dr. Emerson, Ali and Ashlyn found themselves in Newport, RI for a quick night away from home to celebrate their 15th anniversary. This was the February 8th anniversary of when they first confessed their love for each other after the Superbowl in the big old house. Their 15th wedding anniversary wouldn’t be for another year and a half. Everybody else in their lives celebrated the Kriegers’ wedding anniversary, per normal social customs and that was lovely. Both Ashlyn and Ali appreciated the thoughtfulness of their friends and family. They especially loved whomever it was in their lives that kept sending them flowers every August 25th with a sweet wish from the four youngest Krieger kids. That was a nice touch. That was exactly the kind of special people the two moms had in their lives and they were immensely grateful. There was something about the anonymity of the gesture that moved Ali and Ashlyn. Ali had been sending Sydney and Dom flowers for their anniversary from the Dwyer kids for 13 years by that point, but she hadn’t thought to hide who the benefactor was. She and Deb always took turns doing the same thing for Kyle and Nathan. Ashlyn had been sending flowers to Whitney and Ryan as well but they knew it was her. Somebody did it for Niki and Molly too but it was one, or several, of their extended family members. 

“I can’t believe the way that game ended this afternoon” Ali chuckled as they changed for dinner Saturday evening. She was still thinking about Josie hitting the game-winning basket for her team as the buzzer sounded. She didn’t think she had ever seen her daughter look so elated. “Imagine how good she’d be if she loved it half as much as she loved her music” she said wistfully.

As long as they lived, both Ashlyn and Ali would struggle to accept the fact that neither of their youngest daughters had focused on sports the way they had as young girls themselves. What made it particularly bothersome was the fact that both Josie and Lily were natural athletes. They were both very coordinated and had been gifted with speed and agility that made them excel at whatever sport they did play, however briefly. Ali and Ashlyn’s passion for soccer had been passed down to the two young girls, just as it had with the boys, but it had somehow turned into platonic feelings during the transfer. 

“I still can’t believe that mansion” Ashlyn chuckled and then corrected herself with a snooty accent. “Oh, excuse me, I mean cottage.”

They were staying at the historic Hotel Viking in Newport because they wanted to walk around the downtown area and be able to change their plan at a moment’s notice if necessary. They only had about 24 hours in the quaint but still-bustling city and they didn’t want to spend more of it sitting in traffic or driving from a far-flung home base than they had to. The Hotel Viking was massive and it reminded Ali of the famous Newport mansions themselves. It was a member of the Historic Hotels of America and was gorgeous inside and out. Ashlyn’s mouth had dropped open when they pulled up and gave the keys to the valet. It had been recently renovated and now included two award-winning restaurants as well as a rooftop bar, a full-service spa, and a dozen other modern conveniences that well-heeled travelers expected nowadays. It was an incredible blend of history and modern technology and both women were looking forward to enjoying as much of it as possible in their short time there. They had plans to visit the rooftop hot tub if they could keep their eyes open long enough after dinner that night.

After the fourth basketball game of the day on Saturday, they hopped into Ashlyn’s Jeep and made the 90-minute drive to the southernmost edge of Aquidneck Island in Narragansett Bay. Newport, RI was a seaside city that was famous for a lot of things and most of them had to do with the residents being filthy stinking rich. It was famous for its long and storied yachting history. Anybody who lived there knew how to sail and play tennis, probably golf too. The prestigious, annual America’s Cup Yacht race had been held there for decades. The International Tennis Hall of Fame was located in Newport too. 

Newport was where all the ridiculously wealthy industrialists from New York and Boston summered back in the late 1800s. The Vanderbilts, Astors, and Wideners, among others, all had seaside mansions built along Bellevue Avenue. They and their families spent a couple of months every summer in those ‘cottages’ before returning to their primary residences in the bigger cities. The Gilded Age definitely found a home in toney Newport, Rhode Island. The Great Gatsby could easily have been set there instead of on Long Island. Jay Gatsby and Daisy Buchanan would have been right at home in Newport. In fact, Edith Wharton’s novel ‘The Age of Innocence’ was set in Newport and the author herself had a ‘cottage’ in the city as well. Jacqueline Bouvier, who would go on to become Jackie Kennedy Onassis, was born and raised on Hammersmith Farm - an estate right outside of Newport. She and John F. Kennedy were married in Newport and held their reception at the Bouvier family mansion on Hammersmith Farm. 

Ali had been an excellent tour guide on the drive into Newport, pointing out St. Mary’s church where JFK and Jackie were married and the road that led to the US Naval Station and the exclusive Naval War College where the United States Navy had practically come into existence. The brunette told her wife all about Fort Adams park where both the Newport Jazz Festival and the Newport Folk Festival were still held every single summer. In King’s Park, at Newport Harbor, she pointed out the Rochambeau Monument, commemorating the French commander’s invaluable contributions to America during the Revolutionary War. Rochambeau fought alongside General George Washington and Newport was the home base for the French forces he commanded.

“Wait, Rochambeau Rochambeau...?” Ashlyn’s voice went up high as she questioned her wife excitedly. “Like, from Hamilton? THAT Rochambeau?”

“Yes” Ali nodded and then laughed as her wife tried to remember the lines from the musical that they had been listening to again with the kids. Both Ashlyn and Ali had loved ‘Hamilton’ when it had debuted back in 2016 and they were excited to share it with their children now that the 15-year anniversary production had started touring the country again. “The very same one.” 

The brunette also talked about how Newport was partially founded by Portuguese Jews who had sailed west to escape religious persecution back in 1658, just 19 years after the first four settlements were established in Rhode Island. The lily-white rich snobs who gallivanted all over Newport for centuries didn’t like to talk about the Jews who had been so instrumental in the growth and success of their city. But it was the truth. Touro Synagogue, still located in Newport, was America’s oldest existing synagogue. Nobody ever talked about that though. Another truth that was conveniently forgotten and overlooked by almost everyone was Newport’s prominent role in the slave trade in colonial and early America. Even after federal laws restricted most of the despicable business, Rhode Island continued to conduct and prosper from illegal slave trade. Yeah, that stuff didn’t come up much in polite conversation, but it was a huge part of Newport’s success and prosperity.

After getting settled in their beautiful hotel room they walked a few blocks East to the ocean, just to stretch their legs and get a look at the sea. It was cold, but not frigid, with the temperature about 35 degrees. Above freezing was always a welcome temperature during winter in New England, even if it was only by 3 degrees. The weak, winter sun was doing its best to provide some heat but the couple walked briskly to keep themselves warm. As they got to the ocean they could see the first and most magnificent of the Newport Mansions - The Breakers. Ali clarified quickly that the name of the mansion had nothing to do with the soccer team – that had been named after the ocean’s waves. They only had a couple of hours before it got dark and had to decide between doing the Newport Cliff Walk – an easy, 3-1/2 mile, paved hike along the shoreline that went behind several of the mansions along the way; or taking a tour of The Breakers mansion itself. 

Ashlyn had been unable to resist the impressive building which had been built in the Italian Renaissance style starting in 1893 for Cornelius Vanderbilt II. The footprint of the 5-story mansion itself covered 1 acre of the 14-acre estate and was comprised of 70 rooms. It was enormous and it overlooked the Cliff Walk and then the Atlantic Ocean beyond. And it was fucking dazzling in every sense of the word. It was the largest, most opulent residence in Newport when it was completed in 1895 and the Vanderbilt family and descendants lived in it until Countess Sylvia Szapary, Cornelius II’s granddaughter, died in 1998. The Preservation Society of Newport bought it, at a reduced cost as stipulated in the will, and was still maintaining it, along with the other mansions in the area, to that very day, February 8, 2031. There were about 10 mansions you could tour in Newport, but The Breakers was the big daddy of them all. If you only had time to check out one, that was the one you paid to see, and it did not disappoint.

“There’s gold glued to the walls!” Ashlyn whisper-yelled to her wife as they listened to the tour guide and followed the other dozen tourists through the expansive dining room. 

The keeper was following along with the guide brochure as they moved from room to room, sharing details that the tour guide skipped over with her smiling wife. Ali had grown up visiting Newport with her friends, driving down for a day of shopping or a weekend of drinking and fun from time to time. The brunette, being a huge fan of architecture and big old homes, had always been drawn to the mansions. She had been inside every one possible, at least three times each. Her favorite was Rosecliff, but she loved them all because they were each unique in so many ways. Each wealthy owner had instructed their architect and builder to include certain specific things so each ‘cottage’ was truly custom built.

“The marble is from Italy and Africa...and these rare woods and mosaics are from countries all around the world” Ashlyn continued her quiet commentary with wide eyes and a huge smile on her face.

Ali felt her heart surge with love as she watched her favorite person experience something she herself loved so much. She knew Ashlyn would like the mansions but she was thrilled that the blonde seemed as awestruck by them as she herself was. It was a lovely reminder of how wonderful their relationship was. In the three days leading up to the trip, they had been revisiting their therapy appointment and trying to make sure they both understood what was going on between them and why. It had caused some friction but they stuck to their guns and kept talking until the friction gave way to understanding. They both felt a little raw that weekend and thought about cancelling the celebratory night away. Neither of them felt much like celebrating, if they were being completely honest. But they had postponed a trip to Newport about 4 other times over the past 15 years. Something always seemed to pop up or get in the way. Ashlyn convinced Ali that it was a sign. It was the first test in their new reality. Could they make the trip to Newport finally work? Once Ashlyn expressed it that way, Ali accepted the challenge and the trip was back on. For better or worse. 

As she walked through the gorgeous, gilded mansion, staying close by her wife’s side, Ali couldn’t help but feel joyful and grateful. Maybe all they needed to reset their balance of power was some time alone, away from the kids. Maybe. All the brunette knew that afternoon as the sun started to go down while she toured The Breakers with her best friend and favorite person, was that she was happy...happier than she had been in almost two weeks. She felt light and joyful and in love.

“Yeah, if that’s a cottage then this hotel is a shoebox” Ali laughed, back in the enormous, elaborately decorated hotel as they got dressed for dinner. 

They had lingered as long as possible at The Breakers and just managed to get back with enough time to change and make their 7:30pm dinner reservation. Ashlyn felt her breath hitch when she saw her gorgeous wife come out of the bathroom after finishing her hair and make-up. Ali stood in front of the keeper with a shy smile on her face as their eyes met. Not only did she find the look on Ashlyn’s face adorable, but the blonde was holding Ali’s heels in her hands, ready to help her step into them – considerate and thoughtful as always.

“You look...even more beautiful than usual” Ashlyn smiled, completely beguiled by the brunette.

“Thank you honey” Ali leaned up and gave her wife’s lips just the faintest peck, patting the top of her chest at the same time. “You do too” she beamed as she took one shoe from the keeper.

Ali wore a pale purple dress that fell below her knees and hugged her in all the right places. It was sleeveless but she had a stylish, dark purple shawl around her shoulders to keep her warm and complete the look. Her dark hair was back in a low bun at the nape of her neck and a pair of big, silver hoop earrings hung from her ears. With both feet in her 3” heels she stood just as tall as her wife and took Ashlyn’s arm as they left the room. There had been much debate about where to eat their anniversary dinner that night and they had finally settled on the 4-star restaurant on the first floor of their hotel. It had gotten rave reviews and Niki and Molly Cross recommended it highly. Niki and Molly had family in Rhode Island and the couple and their kids spent lots of time there so Ashlyn knew their intel could be trusted.

“Wow, this place is incredible” Ali breathed out as they stepped into the restaurant from the noisy lobby of the hotel. 

They were instantly transported to an opulent dining room from the turn of the century that could have been part of any of the mansions on Bellevue Avenue. The only difference was that this dining room was full of modern conveniences, like proper heat and an appropriately-lit dance floor that the Kriegers were sure to be using after dinner.

“Do you like it?” Ashlyn asked, wanting to be very sure her wife approved of the restaurant. She felt responsible because she had pushed for it based on Niki’s recommendation. “Tell me the truth...”

“I love it” Ali squeezed her keeper’s arm and leaned into her as they waited for the hostess.

The dining room was about half full but would be completely full by 8pm. It was expensive to eat there on a Saturday night because they went all out and turned dinner into a 3-hour dining and dancing experience. You were encouraged to arrive at 7:30pm for cocktails, but the first course didn’t get served until 8pm. There was only one seating so there was no rush to turn the table over to the next set of diners. It was a different concept but one that had paid off for the hotel since the restaurant had been open. The Saturday night dinner and dancing seating was booked solid for months, which was another reason Ashlyn had pushed hard for she and her wife to keep their plans in place. She had a special surprise for her wife that night and didn’t want to miss it. 

The white glove service was as beautiful and graceful as the architecture of the grand room itself. There were two huge chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and the floors were polished wood in a parquet pattern. A large octagonal dance floor was in the center of the room and a stage area nearby was full of music stands and empty chairs, just waiting for the 12-piece jazz ensemble to take its place any minute. Elegant floor to ceiling windows had been installed, even though two of the walls were interior walls shared with the lobby of the hotel. The effect was wondrous. It really felt like they were about to sit down and eat in one of the cottages with nouveau riche American royalty from 1920.

“Thank you” Ashlyn nodded at the hostess as she helped her wife into her chair and then took her own seat across from the beautiful brunette. “I’m starving, are you ready for this my queen?” she wagged her eyebrows at Ali who giggled back at her.

They had just finished their appetizer course and the waitstaff had just put their dinner plates in front of them when one of the members of the band came over to the table and began playing just for them. The band was taking a short break and Ali was surprised to see the saxophonist. She thought at first that he was heading to another table or maybe to walk around and visit several areas of the large dining room. She smiled when she realized what was going on, as hungry as she was, she wanted to appreciate the sweet moment.

“It’s dinner time baby” Ashlyn said as she snapped a picture of her dinner, beautifully plated in front of her.

“Did you order this?” Ali asked, blushing at the attention their table was getting from the other diners.

“Huh?” the keeper put her phone away and turned her attention to her wife.

“Did you order this?”

“Yeah” she looked down at her dinner plate and then back up at Ali. “Do you wanna switch?”

“No” Ali shook her head and smiled, touched by her keeper’s constant, unwavering kindness and consideration. Ashlyn was fully prepared to change meals with the brunette without any explanation required. “I meant him” Ali nodded at the saxophonist who continued to play, just a couple of feet away from their table.

“Oh yeah” the keeper grinned, finally catching on. She cocked her head slightly and gave Ali a lovestruck look. “It’s for you.”

“Ashlyn” Ali blinked back lovingly. “Thank you honey. I love it” she leaned forward and reached for her wife’s hand across the small, 2-person table. She squeezed once she felt the fingers she loved so much, intertwined with her own. “I love you.”

They were halfway through their delicious meal and enjoying the talented ensemble playing jazz, dance, and popular songs from the 1920s and 1930s. The music changed tempo and style every so often so there was something everybody was sure to like before too long. They played Louis Armstrong, Bix Biederbecke, Duke Ellington, Adelaide Hall, Benny Goodman, Fats Waller, Marion Harris, Jelly Roll Morton, and Count Basie – just to name a few. Both Ali and Ashlyn watched the couples dancing and the musicians playing as they finished their dinner and put in their order for dessert.

“Will you dance with me Mrs. Krieger?” Ashlyn stood next to her wife’s chair and offered her hand.

“I’d love to” Ali grinned up at her, feeling like Cinderella at the ball already. She didn’t even care that her feet were killing her in her fancy heels. Nothing else mattered when she was dancing in Ashlyn’s arms. “I love you” she whispered in her keeper’s ear as they moved around the dance floor.

The brunette was on cloud 9 after dancing with her wife for almost an hour and made no attempt to hide it. Ashlyn looked as beautiful as the dining room itself, and just as stylish. She wore an updated version of Ali’s favorite Gatsby-esque outfit: dark grey dress pants; a crisp, white button-up shirt, long-sleeved, with a black and white, polka-dotted bow-tie; black suspenders with a black vest; black and grey oxford shoes; her favorite diamond stud earrings and multiple rings. They were both hot from dancing and Ashlyn’s sleeves were neatly folded, halfway up her forearms. Her bow-tie was undone but still hanging around her neck, her shirt collar was open at the neck with the tips of the laurel leaves visible on either side, and she looked sexy as hell. She wasn’t a fool. She knew what Ali liked to see her dressed in and, as long as it was something she liked to wear too, she was more than happy to oblige.

Before they knew it, it was approaching 11pm and the dining room was emptying out. A few couples were still dancing while Ali and Ashlyn finished their dessert.

“Ok, I have something planned for you too and I don’t want to get it wrong so I have to ask you about it” Ali chewed her bottom lip as Ashlyn grinned at her from across the table.

“You have something planned for me eh?” she wagged her eyebrows, making the brunette giggle. “I can’t believe we almost didn’t do this” Ashlyn chuckled and shook her head as she watched her wife’s face beam back at her. “I love that we’re here. I love our night and I loved our afternoon.”

“Me too” Ali agreed with a nod. “But...ok, well, I have champagne for us...but...”

“But what?” Ashlyn asked, amused at how discombobulated the brunette seemed to be. “I love champagne. I think it’s a great way to cap off our night.”

“Good” Ali looked relieved. “But...do you want to have it in the room...or up in the hot tub” she lifted her eyes up to the ceiling, indicating the rooftop hot tub.

“Did you reserve it for us?”

“I did” the brunette smirked.

“Ooooh” Ashlyn’s eyes flashed with excitement. “Yes please, let’s have it there...”

“Ok, but here’s the thing” Ali paused and fixed her wife with a steady gaze. “The hot tub is for an hour...and it’s...not private.”

The look Ali gave her wife was a mixture of flirtatious and cautious.

“Hmmm...I see the dilemma” Ashlyn nodded and playfully furrowed her brow. “You’re worried you won’t be able to keep your hands off of me for a whole hour...”

“Oh stop” Ali laughed her short, loud, shout of a laugh which always made the keeper’s heart soar.

They managed to enjoy the hour in the hot tub together, wearing their bathing suits and big smiles. They drank champagne and took in the night sky view without behaving inappropriately or offending anybody else up there. Ali had squealed as she dropped the warm, fluffy robe before stepping into the hot bubbling water, even though she had tried her hardest not to. It was easy for Ashlyn to see where their shy son got his distaste for being in the spotlight. She didn’t think Ali was even aware of how much she tried not to stand out in social settings like that. The rooftop was busy that Saturday night with many hotel guests and other Newport residents and visitors patronizing the bar up there. It was outdoors and it was cold in early February, but there were comfortable seating areas arranged around tabletop fireplaces throughout the space. Everybody was comfortable and seemed to be enjoying themselves. The hot tub was located on the far end of the rooftop space with a slatted dividing wall on one side to provide some privacy, but it was not at all a private space.

Ashlyn and Ali cuddled together as they drank their champagne, talking and laughing and trying not to do anything else. The champagne was too much for both of them and their eyelids felt like 20-pound weights after their long evening of dining, drinking and dancing. It was all they could do to get their robes back on and make their way down to their hotel room for the night, just before 1am.

“I’m sorry baby...” Ashlyn mumbled, half-drunk, as they stripped off their clothes and fell into bed, barely taking time to pee first.

“Shhh...it’s ok” Ali rolled onto her side, no more sober than her wife, and brought their lips together. 

The kiss was warm and soft and they both deepened it, hoping they could find a second-wind. But it was no use. The keeper fell asleep in mid-kiss and Ali barely had time to be offended before following her into deep slumber. She briefly thought about washing her face and brushing her teeth but didn’t have the energy to do more than think. Somehow they were on the wrong side of the bed and the brunette thought about that too, with a small giggle, just before she gave in and let sleep take her.

They both woke up at 7am, hungover and with aching heads. They groaned as they made separate trips to the bathroom to take out sticky contacts, empty their bladders, and brush their teeth. They crawled back into bed, drank as much water as they could stand, and slept for two more hours.

“Ugh...why is it so bright in here?” Ashlyn moaned as she dropped her forearm over her eyes, her voice hoarse and raw.

“Because it’s...” Ali squinted towards the nightstand and grabbed her phone. “Oh God, it’s almost 9:30am. Shit.”

They had big plans for their half day of freedom before they had to leave for Gloucester at 2pm. There were breakfast plans and then plans to check out an art studio that Ashlyn wanted to see and do some shopping that Ali loved. They both knew they would spend time in a bookstore and a coffee shop and probably a handful of other fun little places along the way too. They were looking forward to walking around downtown, holding hands and just being close to one another while they discovered new things and spent too much money.

“Shhh...not so loud” the keeper groaned. “My head is killing me.”

“What’s the matter Harris, can’t handle your liquor?” Ali teased lightly, happy because she was in better condition herself. She cuddled back into her wife, not willing to brave getting vertical again just yet.

“That damned champagne...” the blonde massaged her forehead with one hand and rested the other hand on Ali’s bare skin beneath the covers. “I love it but it wrecks me every fucking time.”

“I’m sorry honey” Ali leaned up and kissed the keeper’s chin. “I got the good stuff too. I thought it didn’t bother you as much...”

“No, you did great baby” she patted the brunette’s hip, enjoying the warm, smooth sensation under her fingertips. “It kills me to admit it, but I cannot handle my champagne” she chuckled and then moaned again. “Damn.”

“Well, we don’t have to do anything this morning so just go back to sleep” Ali got up on her elbow and gently ran the backs of her fingers down Ashlyn’s soft cheek. She studied her wife’s face, amazed that it could still look so beautiful even though she was in pain and it was smeared with the remnants of last night’s make-up. 

“No, we have plans...” 

“Shhh...just forget about it” Ali leaned over and gave her a soft, sweet kiss. “The only plan that matters is to relax and have fun together without any parenting responsibilities getting in the way, remember?”

“I’d say we did a pretty good job last night then” Ashlyn chuckled again, then squinted as she opened her eyes with a wince.

“Yeah we did” Ali grinned and continued to caress her wife’s face softly, helping her open her eyes and come to grips with the harsh morning light. “I loved dinner, and my surprise” she kissed her lightly again. “Thank you so much sweetheart.”

“Welcome” Ashlyn moaned out, closing her eyes again. “How are you not in pain like me?”

“Well, I drink a lot more wine than you do silly” she giggled as she placed slow, calm kisses around her keeper’s face and neck. “I guess I have a higher tolerance” she smirked, knowing that would get her competitive wife’s attention.

“Oh really?” Ashlyn blinked her eyes open and forced them to stay open as she tried to make some sort of face at the brunette. She couldn’t pull it off though and the goofy attempt made Ali laugh, which further annoyed the keeper. “Higher tolerance my ass. Next time I’ll drink my whiskey and we’ll see who has the higher tolerance.”

“Nobody made you drink wine, and then champagne, last night” Ali giggled as she combed her fingers through her wife’s hair, massaging her scalp and making her sigh in relief.

“God that feels good...mmmmm...” Ashlyn moaned and patted her wife’s hip again as a reward. “Please don’t stop...”

“Well, this isn’t quite the situation I thought I’d be hearing those words in this weekend” the brunette chuckled and rolled her eyes, even though Ashlyn’s eyes were closed and she couldn’t see her. “But ok” she kissed her lips again. “I won’t.”

It took a little while to get Ashlyn sitting upright, but they eventually ordered and ate a big room service brunch before showering together. Ali took her time and washed her keeper’s body for her from head to toe, even doing the hard work of drying her off afterwards as well. When Ashlyn tried to return either of the favors, the brunette told her to just concentrate on getting herself feeling better. Ali had called down and arranged for a late checkout so they could just relax in peace and quiet for a couple of hours. It was almost 12pm when they got back into the big bed, hair still damp and bodies still naked. They propped themselves up with pillows against the headboard and snuggled together, loving the closeness and the slow pace of their morning.

Ashlyn was the first one to get her hands into trouble. She was only human and she could only resist her wife’s naked ass for so long before she had to spend some more time with it. She finally grabbed a big handful and squeezed as she pulled Ali’s body closer into her own. The keeper brought their lips together in the closest thing to an aggressive kiss they had shared all morning.

“Hey” Ali’s voice was soft and tender as she pulled back after the kiss. “You’re not really up for that, are you?”

“I really want to” Ashlyn nodded and gave her another kiss, getting her other hand involved under the covers and pulling Ali’s leg on top of her hips.

“I know, and I really want to too” Ali breathed out, trying not to get too excited by her wife’s touches and kisses. She knew her keeper’s head was still in agony. “But I don’t think your head’s ready babe.”

Ashlyn frowned and sighed in disappointment or aggravation – it was hard to tell which.

“But I want to” she whined. “Maybe it’ll make my head feel better?” she offered optimistically. 

But they both knew that wasn’t true. They had tried it enough in the past to know for a fact that having sex didn’t alleviate headaches. In fact it often made them worse.

“Honey” Ali cooed. “It’s ok. We can just wait and have sex at home” she shrugged. “When you’re feeling better.”

They were both quiet for a few minutes as they held each other and trailed gentle touches up and down arms and across stomachs and other safe places. Ali backed up a bit so her mound wasn’t pressed up against Ashlyn’s hip anymore. That was certainly leading the brunette to sexy places and dark desires.

“I’m sorry I ruined our anniversary weekend” Ashlyn finally whispered.

Ali wasn’t sure if she was whispering because her head was hurting or because she was embarrassed or upset.

“Hey, All-star” Ali tenderly guided her wife’s face to look into her own. “You didn’t ruin anything, ok?” she kissed her lips lightly while she cupped her cheek. “Do you hear me?”

“Yeah” Ashlyn sighed, dejectedly.

“Honestly honey” Ali smiled at her and brushed some of the longer but still short hair away from her keeper’s pretty face. “Hanging out in bed naked with you is a much better plan anyway. I don’t know what the hell we were thinking” she laughed softly. “This is a genius plan right here and I love our day today.”

“You do?”

“Ashlyn seriously?” Ali pulled back a little bit, her face registering surprise.

“Well, yeah?” the keeper shrugged. “I feel terrible about this and I know you’ll say just about anything to make me feel better right now...”

“Well that’s not what I’m doing” Ali gave her a serious look, tugging a handful of hair at the top of Ashlyn’s head. “I love being right here with you now and you’re just gonna have to learn to accept that” she twisted and tugged the top of the blonde hair again. It wouldn’t normally have been enough to cause the keeper any discomfort, but everything head-related hurt more when you were hungover.

“Ow, ok baby, I get it” Ashlyn chuckled and lifted her head up a bit, trying to ease the pull on her hair. 

“Good” Ali smiled and gave her another kiss, this one longer and more meaningful, but still on this side of the line that led to sex.

“Can you let go of my hair now?” Ashlyn giggled and moved a hand up to help Ali let go. “I’m starting to think you want me to get my topknot going...”

“No, no” Ali laughed and released the hair in her fist. “I’m good.”

“Aw, c’mon” Ashlyn grinned at her, enjoying the teasing about the one and only hairstyle of hers that Ali had ever truly disliked. “How can you not love the topknot?”

“Easily” Ali rolled her eyes and kissed her girl again. “Oh so easily.”

“I know you love it sometimes...” the keeper continued to tease.

“I certainly do not” Ali laughed and poked her wife in the ribs as Ashlyn’s hands moved all over her skin. It felt great and the brunette was going to have to be careful or she’d be on the other side of that same line. “How can you even say that?”

“Because I’m the one attached to the topknot when you’re grabbing onto it for dear life and pulling my face and mouth from...one place to another” she raised her eyebrows and then glanced down to where Ali’s crotch was hidden beneath the covers.

Ali sucked in a big breath and tried not to laugh or smile at the accurate statement. Ashlyn had her on that one, no doubt about it.

“Alright, fine” she conceded, shaking her head and pretending it wasn’t a big deal at all. “So, yeah, maybe a couple of times I’ve used it to uh, steer you where I wanted you...” she shrugged, feigning indifference.

“Yeah, you totally love my topknot when I’m eating you out” Ashlyn gave her wife a dimple-bearing grin. “Don’t even try to deny it because I know the truth, woman!”

“Listen, you’re lucky I let you anywhere near me with that silly thing” Ali jabbed back, her cheeks pink from embarrassment, but a smile on her face nonetheless. 

The truth was that the brunette had no idea that she had even done that with the topknot until Ashlyn commented about it once, right after her orgasm. It was hard for Ali to even remember her name while her keeper was sexing her up, forget about knowing what the hell she did with her hands half the time.

“Oh you love me” Ashlyn said sweetly and gave her wife the most adorable face she had in her arsenal. “I know you do.”

“I do” Ali mumbled against Ashlyn’s lips before kissing them again. “I really really do. So fucking much.”

They hugged for a long time and then Ali changed positions, wanting to feel her wife and lie down too. She got on top of Ashlyn but scooted down about a foot from where they would normally be face to face. Ali’s head was on Ashlyn’s chest and the rest of her body was stretched out behind her, face down between her keeper’s legs and on top of her stomach. Ashlyn played with the medium-length brunette locks and rubbed her wife’s back as they lay there talking. Ali had one hand up around the back of her wife’s neck, playing with the light brown hair there. They were both completely and utterly comfortable. They fit together so perfectly and, even though their bodies weren’t getting the orgasms they had hoped for, they were getting lots of lovely, intimate touching and holding and it felt incredible. 

“Can I tell you something?” Ali asked tentatively, her cheek against her wife’s chest, her soft breath tickling the blonde’s bare skin.

“Yes please.” 

Ashlyn replied in a lighthearted way but she was afraid of what was coming next. They were both still tender from the painful realization with their therapist four days earlier and the keeper wasn’t sure she could take another hit of any kind just yet.

“I...I want to join a rec league, with Syd and Molly” she spoke quickly, as if she was afraid she’d never get the words out again unless she said them right that second.

“That’s it?”

“Why?” Ali turned her head to look at her wife warily. “Isn’t that enough? Or...do you think it’s a bad idea?”

“What? No, honey” Ashlyn smiled and chuckled. “I think that’s an awesome idea. You had me worried, that’s all. I thought you were going to say something...scary.”

“Oh, I didn’t think about that, sorry” Ali chuckled too. “That must have sounded like I was gonna drop a real bomb on you or something after this week at Mattie’s office” she made an eek face and then kissed Ashlyn’s lips. “Oopsie.”

“Yeah, but we’ll get past this weird stage soon though, right?” Ashlyn asked and encouraged in the same breath. “I already feel more normal again, do you?”

“Mmmm hmmm” the brunette nodded, her cheek back on her keeper’s chest. “Almost back to normal. But I can still ask you questions if I need to, right?”

“Of course you can baby. But hopefully I’ll already have told you...whatever it is so you don’t have to even ask me about it.”

“Sounds good. Really good” she turned her head down and kissed Ashlyn’s chest before flattening her cheek there again. “The questions and the rec league.”

There was another pause. “Can I play too?”

The issue of former professional players joining rec leagues with normal jane-schmo’s was always a hot topic of debate. Most rec league players didn’t want the former pros in the league with them because it just wasn’t a fair scenario. But Ashlyn was old enough now and had been out of the pro game for long enough that she was hopeful their request would get approved.

“I’d love for both you and Whit to play, Kristie too, and Niki” Ali began carefully. “But we’ll have to see what everybody else says. But I’ll find out, I promise.”

Another several minutes went by and both women were dreading the time moving so quickly past them. Ali’s careful voice spoke again.

“And I want to take music lessons too.”

“Like, learn to play an instrument music lessons?”

“No” Ali giggled. “At least I don’t think so anyway. I just want to be able to share some part of Josie’s music with her. And the rest of the kids too.”

“But we already sat in on those basic music lessons when the kids were first learning” Ashlyn countered, her voice even and calm. There was nothing judgmental in it at all.

“I know, but I really want to be able to read music so I can help the kids if they have trouble with part of it someday” she shrugged, more than a little self-conscious.

“Can I do that with you?” Ashlyn asked, shyly. She was suddenly aware of the fact that she had just asked to join both of her wife’s activities when, perhaps, Ali was looking to do something fun and new without her. “Or not, I mean, if you want to do some things on your own, I get it.”

“What?” Ali scrunched up her face as she tried to follow her wife’s train of thought. “No” she shook her head and smiled, knowing Ashlyn could feel the smile against her chest. “I’m not trying to develop some interests of my own without you” she picked her head up again and smiled into her wife’s face. “We’re apart enough with work and all your travel. I love being with you babe. You’re my favorite and everything’s more fun when you’re there too. I’d love it if you did the music class with me.”

Ashlyn exhaled, relieved. But then she frowned.

“But not the soccer” she nodded thoughtfully. “Ok.”

“You know I’d love nothing more than to play soccer with you Ashlyn” Ali quirked her eyebrow at her wife. They had both shared that one of their greatest regrets was never having played competitive soccer together. “But we’ll have to see how the league is. If you’re too good then it’ll be no fun for the rest of us.”

“What if I don’t play in goal?”

“You’d play as a...”

“Forward, duh” Ashlyn rolled her eyes but couldn’t help giggling.

“Oh man, ok this I’ve gotta see” Ali joined her, giggling. “Let us find a league first and then we’ll figure it out honey. I promise.”

They snuggled and caressed for a few more quiet minutes.

“Can I tell you something now?”

“Always” Ali folded her arms across Ashlyn’s chest and rested her chin on the backs of her hands.

The keeper used both of her hands to play with the silky brunette hair as she spoke. She always preferred to be touching Ali with both hands when she had hard things to talk about and this was no exception.

“Ummm...” it took Ashlyn a couple of seconds to get the words out.

“Tell me, my love” Ali urged tenderly.

“I’ve been seeing Mattie a lot since December” she looked down, avoiding her favorite amber eyes. “I’ve been having a hard time with the one-year anniversary and all that” she cleared her throat but kept going. “I just saw her Friday again, for my regular appointment” she braved a glance at her wife.

“That’s good” Ali nodded reassuringly.

“Yeah, it is” Ashlyn exhaled, revealing just how nervous she was to be talking about...whatever it was she was trying to share. “Mattie, she wants me to take a sculpting class or a pottery class or something like that. Something with my hands.”

Ali was confused but she tried hard not to show it. Instead she smiled patiently at her wife and waited for the rest of the story so she could make sense of it.

“She thinks...Mattie...she thinks I need to find something good and creative to do with my hands. Something...I can do where I can use the power in my hands for...” she stopped and closed her eyes. Ali could feel her wife’s heart racing inside her chest and felt so sorry for her – knowing she was working hard to be open and honest about such a painful subject for her. “If I can do something creative and good with my hands, she thinks it might make it easier for me to deal with...what I did.”

Ali let a minute go by, waiting for the chaos she knew was clouding her wife’s mind in that time to calm down, before speaking. When she did, her words were soft and kind but not patronizing.

“I think that’s a great idea, I really do” she lifted the top half of her body up, supporting herself on her elbows on either side of the keeper. “I bet it’ll help a lot. And even if it doesn’t help very much, worst case scenario, you’ll learn something really cool” Ali smiled warmly at her wife again and pulled one of Ashlyn’s hands into both of her own. “I love these hands so much” she petted and stroked Ashlyn’s hand methodically, studying it the whole time she spoke. “And not just because they do incredible things to me” she quirked her eyebrow at the keeper for a brief moment of levity in the serious conversation. “But these hands have taken you so far. Just think about where you started and where these beauties took you. You learned how to stop soccer balls with these and you got a top-notch education out of it with National Championships to boot. And let’s not forget all the places they took you before that, when you were leading the Youth National team to glory” she looked up and saw Ashlyn watching her carefully. “Then they took you to Sweden and Germany, playing professionally. They took you to DC where you found Meg” they shared a loving smile as they each thought of the grown-up redhead who was such an integral part of their lives. “Then, finally, they took you up here” she bent her head and kissed Ashlyn’s knuckles and fingers, then held her hand up against her own cheek. “I love these hands” Ali started to get choked up. “I owe everything good in my life to them. And if you have doubts about them right now after one short nightmare last December, well, I can’t understand it, but I respect it Ashlyn. If you need to find a way to remind yourself that these are good hands, the very best hands, then maybe a sculpting class will be just the thing to help you do that” she paused, trying to keep control of her emotions. This was about Ashlyn and her struggle, not Ali’s. “I know you’re having a really hard time with...choking her...” she felt the keeper’s body tense beneath her as soon as she said the words out loud. “But I love these hands because you choked her” Ali admitted for the first time ever. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you didn’t kill her” she looked right into Ashlyn’s eyes and held her gaze. “But I’m glad you choked her, I’m glad you fought her, otherwise...you might not be here right now.”

The room was very still for a long few minutes as Ali held her wife’s hand and waited for her to say something...anything. She wondered if she had gone too far. Ashlyn had barely spoken to her about nearly killing Emily, which is why Ali had never told her how she really felt about it until that very afternoon. It wasn’t the type of thing you could just drop into idle conversation. 

“When I think of all the good, beautiful things you’ve done with your hands, with these hands, I put choking Emily Quindlen right in that list because if you hadn’t defended yourself honey...I know she would have killed you.”

“You think so?” Ashlyn’s voice was small and timid and Ali was struck by how childlike she sounded in that moment.

“I know so” the brunette nodded slowly. “I knew it was going to happen, I could just feel it coming the whole time I was in there with her. I tried so hard to get her to leave the office with me before you got there because I knew that if she saw you...”

“How come you never told me that before?”

“Well” Ali shrugged. “You haven’t really wanted to talk much about that night and what happened in the office – and that’s ok” she added quickly, sensing Ashlyn’s defenses going back up and the keeper closing herself off again. “There’s nothing wrong with that. But if you ever want to talk about it with me you can. Ok?”

Ashlyn nodded once and then pulled her wife up and into her arms so their heads were over each other’s shoulders. She squeezed so tightly that Ali thought she was going to have to tell her to stop so she could breathe. But just as the brunette opened her mouth to say those words, Ashlyn released her tight squeeze but kept her arms wound securely around her body.

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me” the keeper choked out, her voice full of emotion. “15 years ago, I still can’t believe it sometimes. I love you.”

Ali gave her wife a squeeze of her own, moved by the meaningful words and the conversation that had gotten deep and serious after starting out much lighter. Yes, they were still raw from the balance of power issue at home with the kids, but they were working through that. The brunette felt miles closer to her wife that Sunday afternoon than she had even 24 hours earlier. They were always drawn to each other, even when things weren’t great between them. But that was how they fixed their problems – by coming together and re-establishing that bond that was usually so strong. Yes, they still had some work to do, but just as they had all year long last year, they could feel the progress being made. They knew they were moving closer together and towards the same goal and it spurred them both on. As hurt and confused as Ali had been that week after the appointment in their therapist’s office, she knew they would figure it out. She knew that being with Ashlyn made everything possible for her. She knew that she loved her keeper more with every passing day.

“Happy Anniversary honey” the brunette whispered into her wife’s ear. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I shamelessly recreated the 'Did you order this?' video that shows Ashlyn & Ali out for dinner. I'm a diehard Ali Krieger fan but Ashlyn stole my heart in that video. Not only did she score huge 'hopeless romantic' points for ordering a saxophone solo for her girl, but she offered to give Ali her own dinner without even batting an eye. That's love people. The true love kind.


	18. 4-Family Grown-up Fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this was a fun chapter to write!! :)
> 
> Smut warning at the end.

February vacation was two weeks after Ashlyn and Ali’s Newport anniversary night and the four-families had big plans for it that year. Rather, the four-family adults had big plans for it. For the first time ever, all 8 grown-ups were going away on vacation together and leaving their kids behind. It was a dream that had started years and years earlier and that nobody was really sure would ever come to fruition. But, with some diligent planning, the dream vacation was actually happening. All four couples called in their back-ups and their villages and their families to babysit during the school vacation week and it was more than a little nerve-racking during the planning stages. Leaving your child with somebody for a full week was a big ask and they all knew it. Forget about leaving 3 or 4 kids with somebody! But they had all managed it and were willing to deal with whatever consequences came from it when they returned from their dream vacation.

Molly, as always, had been in charge of making most of the arrangements. Ali and Whitney and Sydney had helped as much as they could and as much as Molly had asked. There had been email chains going back months as they tried to determine exactly where to go. They didn’t want to go too far away in case someone did have to get home for an emergency of some kind. They wanted it to be warm and sunny and sandy. They wanted a resort that was accepting and supportive of the LGBTQ community. They each had some specific wants that Molly used as she narrowed down the list of places to go.

“I wanna be able to hear the ocean from my bed in the morning” Ashlyn requested.

“Oooh, I’ve always wanted to go to a place with a bar in the swimming pool” Whitney’s excitement about the trip had somehow topped everybody else’s and they had all taken note. “You know, so you can just swim over and order a fruity drink with an umbrella without leaving the pool?”

“The food has to be top-notch” Niki added, speaking from experience. “We can’t be having to drive all over the place to find good food. Whatever resort we pick has to have really good food right there on property.”

“Some activities would be nice. Like water sports and toys or horseback riding or bikes...” Ali’s request had started a whole separate email chain strictly about activities.

“Dancing! I need some dancing while we’re down there. I wanna get dressed up and go out and dance the night away” Sydney added definitively.

“If we’re on vacation I wanna golf” Ryan offered. “A full 18 holes, at least once.”

Dom was 100% on board with golfing and made another addition. “It’d be great if there was someplace cool we could hike to or something like that. Like, explore a cave or swim in a waterfall...”

“Spa treatments for me” Molly had laughed when nobody else mentioned it. “Totally decadent and luxurious and exactly what I want on my vacation, thank you very much.”

They all knew and trusted Molly after years of her finding the best places for couples’ weekends, week-long family vacations, and everything else in between. She always deflected the praise heaped on her by her closest friends by saying “Well, it is my job after all.” But they all knew she was just being modest. She had a gift for knowing the perfect place and she worked hard establishing and building relationships in her industry to help her do just that. And Molly Cross did not let the four-family group down that February either.

The eight excited parents flew together out of Logan airport in Boston on Saturday morning, February 15th and didn’t return until the following Saturday evening. The vacation was everything they had hoped for and everybody got their wishlist item, and then some. The trip had been planned for St Lucia, a tiny island off the coast of Venezuela in the Caribbean, but then, at the last minute, a special deal became available in Grenada and Molly pulled the trigger on it. Grenada was another tiny island in the same string of islands as St Lucia, Martinique, and St Vincent and the Grenadines. It was just West of Barbados and North of Trinidad and Tobago and it was perfect.

The resort they chose had everything they all wanted and they settled into the 4-bedroom luxury villa without any delay. Laluna Resort overlooked Portici Beach in St George, Grenada and was known for its privacy and seclusion. It was popular among honeymooners and folks who were planning destination weddings. There were 16 cottages you could rent as well as a full-scale hotel with all the amenities you could imagine. In addition, there were four different-sized luxury villas located on the property and that was where the 4-families spent their vacation week. The resort was described as ‘a beach chic, boutique resort and the most romantic in all of Grenada’ and it wasn’t being oversold. It was spectacular. Staff came to the villa every morning to clean the pool and the suites and you could order extra amenities and services whenever you wanted to. The group decided to do a barbecue out on the patio for dinner one night and the concierge arranged all the food they would need and even offered a chef to cook it for them if they wanted. The full-size gourmet kitchen had been stocked with their specific groceries before they even arrived on Saturday afternoon. There was yoga on the beach, an Asian spa, a 4-star Italian restaurant and more different-sized swimming pools than even Molly had ever seen in one location. Two of the bigger pools even had bars in them so Whitney’s wish came true on day 2. The resort was built into the hillside overlooking the Western coast of the island, to the Caribbean Sea. This provided extra privacy because none of the villas and cottages were right next to each other – they were often up a level or down a half-level on the hillside from each other.

There was a 44’ catamaran that did sunset sails every night. You could charter it for your own cruise around the island if you wanted as well, and the 4-families eagerly scheduled a day-long sail. There were local excursions into the rainforest and the lush mountains, both of which had refreshing waterfalls that captivated everybody in the group. Each couple posed for photos underneath the waterfall and didn’t care how cheesy anybody else thought it might be. Ashlyn and Ali both posted pictures to their own social media accounts but the keeper outdid herself with her post. She and Ali laid down in the shallow pool near the foot of the waterfall so their heads were next to each other but their bodies were pointing the opposite direction. They were cheek to cheek but upside down, with Ashlyn’s head on Ali’s shoulder, holding hands across the keeper’s chest. Their eyes were closed and they both wore peaceful, fulfilled expressions as the water slowly rippled around them. The picture was beautiful and Ashlyn’s fans, still so devoted to her, would have gone crazy over it if that was all she had posted. But the keeper had added the most romantic, heartfelt caption:

“If I’m ever to leave this life early, I want to be remembered exactly like this...in your arms, under a waterfall.”

There were three different golf courses on the island and Ryan, Dom, Ali and Niki were the official foursome. They golfed three different days and enjoyed all 18 holes each time. The big group went snorkeling and did yoga on the beach in the morning and played and swam in the surf for a good portion of each day. Everybody spent time in the Asian spa as well. Different treatments were offered at different times during the day and almost everyone got at least a massage before the week was through. The couples massage became very popular among their group after Ryan and Whitney returned to the villa after theirs and didn’t come out of their room for the rest of the night. Ryan dashed to the kitchen once to grab some food but that was it. Nobody had ever seen the Flanagans so hot for each other and it was contagious. The couples started to schedule their co-massages knowing they wouldn’t want to do anything but have sex with each other for a few hours afterwards. 

They ate delicious food both on property and in the local area nearby, which was easier to get to and from than Niki had feared. Ali and Sydney got their shopping fix, bringing back fun trinkets to take home for their kids and creating a mad panic for the other couples to do the same lest any of the four-family kids feel left out. The two besties also came back with their hair braided, claiming they were just going with the flow and adapting to island life. Molly and Whitney joined them soon enough and the short-haired friends almost envied the long-haired ladies their fun. Almost. They all got dressed up and danced at a club one night early in the week and considered going again but not even Sydney wanted to leave the beautiful villa after a few days. They checked in on their kids every day and dealt with a few headaches and issues from back home that their families couldn’t quite handle. But even if one of the kids or the babysitting grown-ups had done something that aggravated one of them, it didn’t take long for the island vibe to soothe them again. The place was freaking magic.

The four bedrooms in the villa each had a queen-sized bed and a private bathroom, with windows overlooking the ocean. If you were staying there with your family you could request twin beds in some of the rooms, but that was certainly not the case for this vacation group. The couples were always happy to have some alone time away from their kids, and were all looking forward to getting up close and personal with their spouses in the beautiful villa. But there was something about the resort itself and the secluded nature of the space that eventually got to everybody before the week was out. Something about Laluna being the most romantic resort on the island was absolutely true and all four couples felt and enjoyed it. The couples’ massages helped too. They all talked about how it kind of felt like a second honeymoon, except with their besties in tow too.

The infinity pool and the expansive deck surrounding it were the most popular places in the villa that week. The pool overlooked the beach, far below, and the Caribbean Sea and no matter what time of day it was, the view was always incredible. The 6:25am sunrise was on the other side of the island, rising up over the Atlantic Ocean, and only the Kriegers and Flanagans made the early morning trek to see it once that week. But the sunsets at 6:15pm lit up the sky outside their villa and the group found themselves making sure to be back ‘home’ with a drink in their hands to watch the show most nights. The week was one of the most relaxing that any of the couples could remember in their entire lives. It helped, of course, that they all got along so well. 

The best friends in the group, Ali and Sydney, Ashlyn and Whitney, and Ashlyn, Whitney and Niki, had remained the very best of friends. All the while the friendships among the other members of the 4-family grown-ups had grown and improved over time as well. Ryan and Dom had naturally bonded as the only men in the group. Neither of them liked missing any of the big get-togethers because he knew that would leave his male counterpart alone with a gaggle of women. They had their own little friendship that had sort of been forced upon them at first, but had become deep and strong over the years. Ali and Whitney had become very close friends because they lived together in the big old house when they were all still single and also because they worked closely together at K-H. Ali and Molly were also quite close and that friendship had come out of their earliest days getting to know each other. Molly had been a tremendous help to Ali as the brunette prepared to get her MBA, and her assistance, guidance and friendship had kept Ali afloat many times during that tough year when she actually did the MBA work. 

Ashlyn and Sydney were close simply because they shared a deep and abiding love for Ali Krieger. They didn’t work together or take classes together or anything like that. But they loved and respected each other because they knew that the other truly had Ali’s best interests at heart. No matter what tough subject matter came up for Ali, when she talked it over with Sydney the coach would almost always ask what Ashlyn thought about it. It was the same with the keeper. When she and Ali were trying to figure something out for the brunette, Ashlyn often asked her where Sydney stood on the subject. 

It was a good group of good people at its core and that’s what made them such terrific friends. Nobody was an asshole. No-one embarrassed everybody when they went out together. Nobody was rude to the waiter or the cab-driver or the convenience store clerk. They were all nice human beings and that made it easy for them to spend so much time together, especially once kids were involved. The trust the four couples had in each other when it came to their kids was unparalleled. Each adult in the group had their own parenting style but the core values were all almost exactly the same. Ashlyn knew, for example, if Dom was correcting or even punishing Dodge that there must have been a very good reason for it. She never doubted it for a second. Similarly, if Ali was being tough with Josie about something and Niki came over to try to intervene on the girl’s behalf then there must have been something that Niki had seen that Ali hadn’t. The trust was rock solid within the group and it had been built over years of friendship – through both good times and bad. They had all been mad at each other’s kids for one reason or another and they had all forgiven and moved on after apologies had been made. The four families really were like a family and they were all eternally grateful for it.

Whitney and Ryan were the quietest and most shy of the group. Sydney and Dom were the most gregarious and outgoing. Ashlyn was the next most outgoing, followed by Molly, then Niki, then Ali. All of those levels evened out when they all got together, especially if alcohol was involved. They were just so comfortable with each other that it didn’t matter which of them was around or what they were doing. Ali could honestly say that she didn’t care who was in the living room when she walked in there to sit down and relax for a while. She could have an easy, friendly, usually funny, conversation with any of the other seven adults at any given time. They all felt the same way. Sydney and Dom would sit together and kiss while they were all hanging out. They didn’t think anything of it and nobody else was fazed by it either. They all kissed and hugged each other in front of the rest of the group, but Sydney and Dom were at the leading edge of that spear. If they were all sitting out by the infinity pool after watching the sunset, Sydney would often be on Dom’s lap and their lips would be locked in a kiss. That was their end of the spectrum. Whitney and Ryan gave each other pecks on the lips and pats on the butt and hugged, but that was about the extent of their comfort level for PDA. Niki and Molly and Ali and Ashlyn were somewhere in the middle and it varied depending on mood and location. By Wednesday’s sunset on the deck, their fifth, Ali was on Ashlyn’s lap and they were sharing a loving kiss, oblivious to their friends around them. 

There was a huge, 8-person hot tub at the far end of the deck, between the end of the infiniti pool and the barbecue patio area around the corner. The temperature in Grenada in mid-February was in the low-80s and the weather was sunny and perfect. The low temperature in the evening after the sun went down could get down to the mid-70s and was still perfect. It wasn’t exactly hot tub weather, but the lure of the relaxing bubbles had won one couple over after another as the week progressed. 

Thursday night they splurged and had the resort chef cook for them in the villa. They relaxed in the pool, drank fun cocktails, laughed and listened to music, and watched the sunset on their second to last night in the island paradise. They stuffed their faces with amazing food while the staff cleaned up the kitchen and left the villa. They drank a lot that night but nobody got too drunk, just drunk enough. They were completely relaxed and at ease. They were full and happy and very nicely buzzed.

“Hot tub!” Sydney whooped, raising her drink high above her head and high-stepping her way across the deck.

“Oh, here she goes” Dom chuckled as he watched her strut towards the hot tub, nothing but love in his eyes.

“Yes! I’m in” Molly laughed and tugged Niki up with her. “You’re coming too.”

“Krieger!” Sydney yelled halfway to the hot tub. “Get your ass in here.”

“Oh, I’m good right here” Ali smiled from Ashlyn’s lap, her buzz making her cheeks full and pink.

“Nope” Sydney shook her head in broad swings. “Get in or I’ll get you in myself.”

“I could go for some bubbles myself” Ashlyn kissed her wife’s cheek.

“Aw, but I don’t wanna go put my suit back on” Ali pouted. 

They had all decided to put real clothes on for dinner that night, to make sure the chef and staff knew they owned actual clothes before the week was out.

“You don’t need a suit” Sydney scoffed, “it’s just us. Get over here” she instructed again as she started to take her blouse off near the hot tub.

“Skinnydipping!” Dom laughed and got up to join his wife, dropping his shirt on the chaise lounge behind him.

Surprisingly, Molly didn’t skip a beat. She and Sydney were the first two to get naked and climb into the tub. Dom was close behind them and Niki right after him. In hind sight, it would have been less inhibiting to get in early, before everybody else was already naked and under the water.

Ryan picked up his wife and carried her over his shoulder to the hot tub before dropping her into it fully clothed. While she screamed and giggled he stripped and got in, leaving only the Kriegers back on the deck. 

“Harris you’d better get in here” Whitney laughed as she peeled off her wet clothes and tossed them to the deck with a wet thwacking sound. “And if you steal our clothes I’ll tell Ali about...”

“Hey, hey, hey!” Ashlyn interrupted her best friend without even knowing what the threat actually was. “No need for threats now” the keeper’s eyes went wide as she thought about some of the things she had confided in the lawyer over the years. None of them were very bad, but she hadn’t told her wife for a reason.

“Oh God” Ali groaned and then laughed out loud. “Are we really doing this?!” she leaned forward and slapped her thigh as she laughed even harder.

“First you have to get us more drinks though” Niki turned to look at Ali and Ashlyn. “Then get your butts in here.”

Fifteen minutes later, the Kriegers had everybody’s drinks refilled, the music turned up, and their clothes off.

“Damn Ash, I forget how much ink you have on your body” Molly’s jaw dropped as Ashlyn stepped into the hot tub and slipped beneath the bubbles with a huge grin on her face. 

“Eyes over here Mol” Niki teased her wife as everybody laughed.

Ali was the last one in and she held her keeper’s hand to help steady herself. The rest of the group was busy talking about tattoos and trying to give the brunette a tiny bit of privacy without much success. Ali caught Sydney’s eye as she sat down in the water and knew her best friend had something she wanted to say to her. She prayed the coach would wait until they were alone to say it.

“There, happy now?” the brunette quirked her eyebrow at Sydney before moving it around the rest of the hot tub.

“Yep” Sydney nodded and grinned widely. “Love you boo!”

They all laughed and teased each other about couples’ massages and who made the most noise when they were having sex and it was a fun time...until it just got too damned hot in there. Ashlyn joked about the hot tub on the roof of the Hotel Viking in Newport and then they all got out and went to bed to enjoy themselves in private. 

The next night, their last night of the most blissful vacation they could remember, things got even racier among the group of friends.

“Ok, Molly, truth or dare?” Ashlyn smirked as she watched her squirm in her seat next to Niki.

“Umm...truth?” Molly shrugged, genuinely anxious about either option at that point of the evening.

They had been playing naughty truth or dare for almost an hour and things were getting out of hand. All 8 of the friends were sitting in the living room on the two couches with two big arm chairs all forming a rough square in the beautiful room. Sydney and Dom had played the game with friends when they were over in England visiting Dom’s family last year and had been pestering the group to play ever since. The magic and romance of Grenada finally got the Dwyers what they hoped for and everybody was having a lot of fun. It was later that night, almost 10pm, because they had dined in the resort restaurant for their last night. They’d been drinking through the sunset, then through dinner, and now continuing back at the villa. They were all fully clothed, wearing casual resort wear of loose-fitting, comfortable skirts, shorts, shirts and blouses. All of the couples were sitting close together and holding hands or touching their spouse in some other fairly innocent way as they played the game.

Sydney had promised to keep things decent – that oath had been the only reason Whitney had agreed to play in the first place. And things had been fairly clean and harmless for the first 45 minutes or so. But the questions and dares had taken a decided turn for the naughtier in the past 15 minutes and everybody felt it. Ashlyn and Niki had kept Whitney liquored up enough so she could relax and enjoy the game. Nobody was going to make anybody do anything they didn’t want to, but they were all afraid that Whitney and Ryan would just leave the room entirely and nobody wanted that either.

“Truth huh” Ashlyn squinted as she tried to think of a question that would be fun and revelatory without being too obscene. She knew Molly had a great sense of humor and could take a lot of crap, but she didn’t want to make her too uncomfortable. At least she didn’t think she did. “Ok, do you pluck your nipples?”

“Ashlyn...” Ali giggled softly and buried her embarrassed face into her keeper’s shoulder, wrapping her hand around her favorite bicep and letting the back of her fingers graze her wife’s breast at the same time. The brunette, along with most of the group, was turned on and was having a hard time hiding it.

“What? You pluck your nipples?” Ryan looked to his wife for confirmation, a look of complete confusion on his face.

“Yes” Molly giggled and dropped her eyes as Niki kissed her cheek. “Doesn’t everybody?” she glanced from Sydney to Ali to Whitney for backup.

“Yes” Ali giggled again, her face pink. “I do.”

“Me too” Sydney laughed. “You’ll notice Dom wasn’t surprised by the question.”

“Ok, my turn” Molly sat up straighter as everybody laughed and teased. “Syd, truth or dare?”

“Dare” the coach’s eyes sparkled with confidence.

“I dare you to cover a part of Dom’s body with whipped cream and then lick it off.”

“Oh God” Whitney chuckled and it was hard to tell if her face was nervous or excited.

It was the natural progression of the way things had been developing. Sydney had already given her husband a lap dance and whispered something so filthy in his ear that the blush showed right through his dark skin. Niki had gone into the bathroom with her camera and sent her wife a nude as her last dare. Ryan had twerked in only his underwear. Molly had to make the most authentic orgasm sounds she could, and almost died from embarrassment when she had finished. Ashlyn had to remove Ali’s bra with just one hand – and had done so with ease, bragging about how the brunette always said she was good with her fingers. Dom had danced a striptease, removing everything except his underwear and making them all laugh in the process. Whitney had to put her hand down Ryan’s pants and leave it there until her next turn. 

They all watched, amused and titillated, as Sydney licked whipped cream off of Dom’s bare chest, straddling him and staying in that position when she was finished. She looked over her shoulder after everyone had settled down, ready to take her next turn.

“Alibaba” she purred, “truth or dare?”

Ali knew her luck had run out. Her best friend had been in control of much of the game because she was such a willing player and was the subject of many people’s turns. But Sydney had been gentle with the brunette so far, making her tie a cherry stem in a knot with her tongue for a dare and asking her where her sweet spot was on her body for a truth. Ali had made quick work of the cherry stem and blushed her way through explaining the wave tattoo near her left hip. She knew this time she would not get off so easy.

“Truth” she replied and took a deep, preparatory breath while Ashlyn held her close.

“What is going on with your bush, girl?” Sydney turned around to face the rest of the room, still straddling her husband’s lap, her back to Dom’s front. “It’s so...bushy. Are you hibernating this winter or what?” she giggled and winked at her bestie.

Both Ali and Ashlyn blushed and ducked their heads for a few seconds.

“Oh, Ash made her do it! Look at the guilty look on her face” Niki laughed and pointed at the blushing couple.

Ashlyn threw her head back and laughed, regretting how well her friends knew them both for just a few seconds.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever” the keeper waved Niki off and rubbed Ali’s arm as she continued to hold her close. “What can I say? I love it” she shrugged and grinned so widely that her dimple popped out.

“Look at you, boo-boo” Sydney smiled broadly at her best friend. “Keeping your woman happy and saving the planet, one razor at a time too” she nodded approvingly. “I’m impressed.”

“My turn” Ali raised her voice as the laughter died down. “Hmmm...” she considered the possible subjects in front of her. “Niki, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“What’s your favorite part of having sex” the brunette asked coyly. “And you can’t say having an orgasm.”

Everybody murmured their approval of the question, talking about how hard it would be to answer. Niki took a minute to think and then spoke slowly and softly, with Molly nuzzling into her neck the whole time.

“Not to sound like too much of a top, but going down is a gift from heaven” she smiled and closed her eyes halfway. “The thighs around your head? Restless fingers in your hair pushing your bangs back to see your face and see what you’re doing? Dragging your tongue over her clit and feeling her shiver and jolt up? Dragging your palm over her stomach to feel the muscles flex and push when she starts shaking? Pulling away to bite and suck at her hips and thighs and laughing when she squirms and drags your face back to where it belongs?” she paused, the whole group hanging on every word. “Literally...every part of it is good.”

“Damn...” Whitney said what they all felt. “No offense honey” she kissed Ryan’s cheek, “but that sounds amazing.”

The six people in the room who regularly ate their wives out felt their libidos rise even farther. 

“That makes me think of that Leonard Cohen line...” Ashlyn smiled as she tried to pull the song lyric from the back of her mind, through all the lust that was clouding it up. “The one about worshipping on your knees...?”

Ali knew the song and recited her favorite lines from it. She moved her hand across her wife’s stomach as she spoke, sliding it underneath the hem of her shirt and finding the soft, warm skin.

“’She stands before you naked  
You can see it, you can taste it,  
And she comes to you light as the breeze.  
Now you can drink it or you can nurse it,   
It don’t matter how you worship  
As long as you’re   
Down on your knees.’”

Ashlyn picked up the rest of the verse once her brunette had gotten her started.

“’So I knelt there at the delta,  
At the alpha and the omega,  
At the cradle of the river and the seas.  
And like a blessing come from heaven  
For something like a second  
I was healed and my heart  
Was at ease.’”

They were all quiet for a minute before Dom’s voice cut through the sexy space.

“So, do you lesbians have to learn these poems by heart to get your membership card or...”

They played for another four or five turns, each one getting more risqué than the last. Whitney finally got a turn and wasn’t going to play the innocent anymore. She was sitting sideways on Ryan’s lap and looking happy and horny and tipsy as she made her choice.

“Ali, truth or dare?”

The brunette was hot and bothered, to say the least, and feeling kind of cocky. She also didn’t think the lawyer had much bite to her dares.

“Dare.”

Whitney fixed her with a challenging stare and set her jaw.

“Take your top off and let Ashlyn do a body shot.”

Eyebrows went up around the room, everyone surprised that Whitney had finally come up with a racy dare. Ashlyn’s eyes lit up and it was all she could do not to jump up immediately to play her part in it. Nobody wanted to move to the dining room table or kitchen counter so Sydney, always helpful as hell at times like these, suggested they use the coffee table instead. Ali and Ashlyn both stood up and the brunette let her wife lift her blouse over her head, thankful that she had put her bra back on after Ashlyn’s earlier dare. They held hands and waited for Whitney to retrieve the tequila, salt and lime wedge from the bar in the corner of the room. Ashlyn locked eyes with her wife, both sets getting darker at the thought of what they were going to do as soon as the game was finished. She leaned down and gave Ali a kiss, which the brunette deepened while Sydney and the others cat-called them.

Ashlyn helped her wife lie down on the coffee table, thankful that it was sturdy and not made of all glass. She could see Ali’s stiff nipples through her thin, black bra and felt her core twitch as her excitement rose. The keeper got on her knees next to the coffee table and leaned down to Ali’s belly button. She licked around it and fought every urge in her body to move her mouth down instead of up. 

“Wait for the salt you horny teenager” Niki teased as they all watched Ashlyn slowly lick her way from Ali’s navel up to her bra.

“Gotta give the salt someplace to stick” the keeper winked. “Watch and learn people, watch and learn” she smirked and then licked from her wife’s bra up to her chin. She finished with another kiss to her lips, loving the way Ali’s hand stayed on her arm and shoulder the whole time.

“Ok, here’s the salt” Whitney handed her bestie the coarse salt normally used to rim the margarita glasses.

Ashlyn bent over, her face close to her wife’s warm skin which broke into goosebumps as soon as she started sprinkling the salt on it. Ali’s head was spinning. She wanted Ashlyn to fuck her and she wanted it badly. She wanted it so badly that she almost didn’t care that they were in the living room surrounded by their closest friends. Almost. She licked her lips in anticipation and continued to keep her hand on Ashlyn’s arm, making that connection that they both loved so much. 

“Lime wedge” the lawyer offered next and giggled when she saw that Sydney was attempting to film the dare with her phone.

“Open up baby” Ashlyn instructed after giving the brunette another kiss, this one longer and deeper than the last couple had been.

“I’m ready” Ali nodded and stifled a moan as the keeper placed the rind of the lime wedge between her teeth. She bit down just enough to hold it in place and squeezed Ashlyn’s arm to tell her that she was ready.

“And tequila” Whitney thrust the bottle to Ashlyn and then went back to sitting on Ryan’s lap to watch the show. “Don’t scrimp either” she quirked her eyebrow at the keeper who was pouring the alcohol into Ali’s belly button.

Some of the liquid spilled out of her navel and down both her sides to the coffee table, making Ali tense when she felt the sensation. She tried to lie very still but all she wanted to do was buck her hips up into Ashlyn’s face. Niki’s sexy words rang in her ears and she wanted her keeper to eat her out right that fucking second. As soon as she got control of herself again, the Leonard Cohen lyrics worked their way into her brain. Fuck. She was so wet she was convinced her wife could probably smell her passion through her panties and thin, cotton skirt.

“Ready for me baby?” Ashlyn’s voice oozed sex and told her wife that she was fighting just as hard to keep it together until they could be alone.

Ali nodded and hummed her reply.

“Mmmmm Hmmmm...”

Ashlyn winked at her and then licked a circle around her belly button to begin. She locked her lips around it and sucked hard to get all of the tequila into her mouth. Ali closed her eyes and tried to remain calm. A moan did escape her throat though, and everybody in the room felt it. 

“Mmmmmm, delicious” the keeper mumbled, her lips still against her wife’s inviting skin. She licked down Ali’s side to get the tequila that had escaped her navel. The surprise move made the brunette twitch and Ashlyn reassured her as she moved back up and started to lick up the salt from her stomach. “I’m getting there” she licked and paused, getting more turned on by the way Ali was gripping her bicep. “Just gimme a minute...”

All three other couples were watching closely and touching each other’s bodies in semi-safe places. They were all enjoying the sensual body shot, maybe more than they really wanted to admit. Ashlyn, feeling the mood in the room and the want in her own core, stopped licking the salt when she got to her wife’s bra. She didn’t skip a beat, placing warm, lingering, open-mouthed kisses to each of her wife’s nipples, still behind her silky bra. 

“Unnnhhhh...” Ali moaned and squeezed her eyes shut as she fought to stay in control.

Ashlyn licked the last of the salt from her wife’s chest, pink with excitement. She kissed Ali’s chin and then closed her mouth on top of hers, biting into the flesh of the lime wedge, finally. Ali pulled her down on top of her, right hand on Ashlyn’s bicep and left hand at the back of her head. The keeper pulled her head back, struggling against the brunette’s strength, and spit the lime wedge out of her mouth before bringing it right back down to meet Ali’s eager lips. They made out for a couple of minutes until Ryan cleared his throat. Everybody snapped out of the spell they had been under and chuckled as they looked at each other and smiled. 

Ashlyn pulled her head back and saw how dark her wife’s eyes were. As soon as the keeper straightened up again on her knees, Ali felt exposed and covered her red face with both hands.

“That’s how you do a body shot” Ashlyn smirked again at her friends, winking at Whitney who looked as hot and bothered as she had ever seen her. “Any questions?”

They all teased her and praised her and joked around about how Ali had done all the hard work. 

“Think what you want people, think what you want” Ashlyn grinned. “But if you’ll excuse us, we have some...clean up to do” she wagged her eyebrows and stood up, ready to help her wife off the table.

“Oh my God...” Ali groaned, her hands still covering her face, embarrassed by her wife’s words.

“Oh please” Sydney laughed. “You let her do all of that but you’re embarrassed by the clean up comment?” she cackled. “You’re too much. Too fucking much” she shook her head and laughed some more. Sydney was proud of how far her bestie had come during her time with Ashlyn. “I love you Alibaba.”

“Have fun you crazy kids!” Dom called out after them as they left the room. “I know we’re going to!”

Ashlyn and Ali spent an hour having sex in the shower in their room, making sure all the salt and tequila got cleaned up. Ali even let Ashlyn give her an orgasm in there, but the keeper had to hold her up when she came hard and went weak in both knees. Then they moved to the big queen bed for round two, both still buzzed but not so drunk that they didn’t know what they were doing.

“Mmmmmm...yes...” Ali hummed into her wife’s pussy as she licked and sucked it with enthusiasm.

“Fuck baby...God that’s so fucking good...” Ashlyn moaned as she knelt above the brunette, straddling her face and getting lost in the incredible sensations she was feeling between her legs. 

Ali, flat on her back, had both arms wrapped around her wife’s thighs, holding her tightly to her hungry mouth as she feasted on her softest flesh. She watched Ashlyn’s body move above her, her stomach rolled and tensed as she worked towards her release. The keeper played with her own nipples, making them hard and sensitive and gorgeous. Ali kept her eyes open, watching every sexy thing her wife’s magnificent body did as she fucked it. She thrusted her tongue into her wife’s hot center, swirling it around and reaching as far as possible inside. The brunette honestly felt as if she could devour Ashlyn whole, just eat her up and never ever stop. The naughty truth or dare game had just served as 2-hours of wonderful foreplay – for all four couples. Ali had enjoyed two orgasms already and still felt like she would never be satisfied.

“Mmmmmm...yess...oh, you fuck me so good...” Ashlyn thought for a moment that she was going to pass out from being too excited, too turned on. 

Ali felt the blonde’s body tremble and moved a hand up to her clit to start the final climb. She couldn’t think of a single place she’d rather be than right there, right between Ashlyn’s legs, right inside her very soul. As she rubbed the sensitive nub harder and faster with each passing minute, Ali felt her own heart growing and expanding, filling with more love the longer she was close to her beloved wife. It had been a difficult four weeks for the couple but they had come through it, just as they always seemed to do. Newport had been a good first step and this week of vacation had done wonders for them and their relationship. Ali could honestly say that she had never loved her wife more than she did right at that moment, and it wasn’t even about the sex – although that was always amazing to share with Ashlyn. The brunette had enjoyed all of the wonderful things about her wife that week. Ashlyn’s sense of humor and her child-like innocence when it came to learning new things and meeting new people and exploring new cultures. Ashlyn’s love for life and her adoration of the sea had been on full display all week. Ashlyn was the most interesting person in the world to Ali and the brunette never tired of listening to her talk about the things that moved her or frightened her or amused her or intrigued her. It had felt like a second honeymoon that week, and Ali felt just as lovestruck as she had when they had first fallen in love and begun their relationship 15 years earlier. She loved being with Ashlyn and couldn’t imagine a time or scenario when that wouldn’t be true.

“Jesus...yes baby...right there...oh fuck...”

The brunette redoubled her efforts thrusting into and sucking on Ashlyn’s soaking wet pussy. She moaned and hummed into her favorite place and rubbed harder and faster with her fingers on her wife’s throbbing clit. It only took a few more minutes, with the keeper tugging on her own nipples, before she came hard and with a loud shout. 

“Ali!!!!” Ashlyn dropped to the bed on her stomach in a graceless heap, twitching and shaking through her orgasm.

Ali rolled over and pressed kisses into her keeper’s side and back, all the way up and down her beautiful body as she enjoyed her ride. The brunette took a playful bite out of her wife’s ass, giggling when Ashlyn moaned and whined at the same time. Ali laid her body on top of her wife’s, loving the way her ass felt against her crotch and the way her own sensitive nipples pressed into Ashlyn’s back. She kissed the keeper’s neck and hummed in satisfaction as they both caught their breath. 

“Can you breathe honey?” the brunette asked, suddenly realizing her body weight might be making that difficult.

“Yes, don’t move” she panted out. “I love this. Don’t move.”

“Ok” Ali smiled against her wife’s hot skin and inhaled deeply. It would be impossible to ever get enough of that intoxicating scent. “But it’s late and we have to check out in the morning...” she reminded softly, not wanting to move either. 

“Just...hush for a few minutes...let’s enjoy a few more minutes...of this...”

A few more minutes with Ashlyn would always be something Ali longed for, whether it was on a vacation in a luxurious resort villa or at home in the big old house. 

“Ok All-star, whatever you want” she let her fingers travel over her wife’s long arms as they sprawled out to either side of their bodies. “Anything for you, my love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full disclosure - A/A went to Grenada right after I started writing this chapter so I changed the location bc why not? Also, giving a tiny bit more amplification to a resort that sponsored gay ladies is always something I'm happy about.  
> More disclosure - I took Niki's response to her 'what's your favorite part about having sex?' truth question directly, and I mean word for word, from a Tumblr quote that I couldn't attribute to anybody. I tried really hard but got nothing. So if anybody knows who said that, please let me know so I can give her proper credit. Also, fuck yeah to every word of it! <3  
> Last one - I obviously quoted Ashlyn's real IG post under the waterfall, but I've done that before with other posts of hers from real life. I'm never sure if I have to call those out or not because most of us follow her and see them anyway.


	19. BFFs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a teeny tiny smutty scene at the very end but it's very minor. Not even sure it needs a warning.

The Grenada vacation had been more fun than any of the four-family friends could have hoped for, but it was also deeply relaxing and rejuvenating at the same time. One of the nicest things about the four-family grown-ups was that the group had come together from powerful, long-term friendships. Ali and Sydney as well as Ashlyn and Whitney were the kind of best friends everybody hoped they would find at some point in their lives. And Niki wasn’t too far behind for both Whitney and Ashlyn in terms of best friend rankings. In addition to the incredible couple-time that the four-family grown-ups got during vacation, the besties connected the way only besties can too. Each pair of best friends made time to spend together at the resort, more than once. Sometimes it was while they were doing something else, like shopping or golfing or laying on the beach. Other times it was less active and more intimate. 

Ali and Sydney found themselves awake earlier than everybody else one morning and decided to go down to the beachside café for their coffee. They didn’t talk much on the walk down the hillside, but once they had some caffeine in their system they talked for a long time about a bunch of different things. They sat close together at a small, outdoor café table dressed in comfy shorts and t-shirts with no make-up on or hair-dos done. They sipped their coffee and stared out at the beautiful blue ocean, enjoying the peace and quiet. Some of the topics they discussed seemed silly and mundane, like how the hell Sydney was going to get the latest kid stain out of the living room ottoman at home. But other topics were much more serious, like how in the world Ali was going to get back to work in her Cambridge office next month.

“I don’t understand why you don’t just switch offices with somebody?” Sydney asked the same question she had asked her best friend three times over the past 12 months. “I know you have great memories there and you love your office and everything...”

“No, it’s not just that” Ali shook her head and sighed, trying to find a way to explain something she only barely understood herself. “I do have good memories of a lot of great moments in that office though...” she gazed out at the sea as she thought back over pumping breastmilk for both Drew and Josie from that desk chair. She had enjoyed quite a few big wins as well while K-H grew and prospered and became more and more powerful and successful.

“You know, you can have wild sex with Ash in your new office too” Sydney teased, quirking her eyebrow and lowering her voice because it was too freaking early in the morning to be cackling yet.

“What? Oh my God Syd” Ali blushed and looked behind them to see if anybody was close enough to hear them. “I knew I should never have told you that” she shook her head and sighed, but there was a small smile starting to form on her pinkening face.

“Oh, you were only too happy to tell me that story” the coach chuckled and nudged Ali’s arm with her elbow. “And let me tell you, if pregnancy hormones for twins are really all that, then I wish I’d had twins!” she laughed out loud but it still wasn’t up to her full volume. “Damn girl, that’s one of my favorite stories ever.”

“Well, that’s not really the point is it?” Ali tried to keep a straight face but the smile finally made its way all the way through. “As great as that little sexcapade was” she tried to regain her composure with her eyebrows up high and her chin down low, “that’s not why I don’t want to move my office.”

“Then what is?”

“I don’t want to make Jared move” she shrugged. “It sounds dumb to say it like that, but why should he have to move just because I can’t get my brain around going back into my office. It’s not fair.”

“Come on Al, you know he doesn’t care about that. And Whit doesn’t either. They’ve both offered to switch offices with you a bunch of times.”

“How do you know?” Ali looked at her bestie curiously.

“Because people keep asking me if I think they should just make the office switch without you and surprise you” Sydney nodded seriously. “That’s how.”

“What? Really?”

“Yes really. Ash too. We keep telling them to let you do what you need to do in there, so they haven’t done it yet. But everybody’s ready, willing and able to make the switch.”

They were quiet for a minute, Sydney drinking her coffee and Ali deep in thought. At the end of the long minute, the coach reached over and took her friend’s hand. She squeezed it and gave Ali a warm smile.

“Thanks” the brunette spoke quietly as she returned the squeeze. “You’ve always got my back, no matter what. I can’t imagine what I’d do without you Sydney Rae.”

They both leaned in for a side hug, sniffling a little bit and eventually giggling at the surprisingly emotional moment.

“So how are things going with the whole ‘balance of mommy power’?” the coach chuckled as they pulled apart.

“It’s not funny Syd” Ali’s eyes went wide at the new but logical next topic. The brunette being home last year, and so far this year, had caused the imbalance in the first place. “It’s been bothering her for a long time. Honestly, I’m just so fucking happy to finally know what the problem is” she rolled her eyes - not in jest, but in relief.

“So that’s why she’s been so bitchy to you?”

“Yeah, but we never figured it out. I never asked her about it, not more than just casually anyway. Mattie and Dr. Emerson did, thank God” Ali shook her head and then had some more coffee. “Ash started resenting me more and more as the time went by. She didn’t even realize she was doing it.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t call her on her crap sooner, to be honest.”

“Well I wasn’t sure what was going on. I mean, I knew something was the matter by the end of the year. She bit my head off at least two times a week and that’s just not like her. At all.”

“I know it’s not. That’s what I’m saying.”

“I just figured it had something to do with...Emily” Ali’s voice still hitched, however slightly, every time she tried to say the woman’s name. “It was a weird year for us, in a lot of ways” she sighed. “Ash has been so sweet to me and so good about all of my shit and I just wanted to be patient with her while she dealt with her stuff too” she shrugged again, “that’s all.”

“You guys have both been great about that” Sydney agreed with another smile. “Really, I’m pretty sure I would have ripped Dom’s face off after 6 months of trying to figure out how to...get past all of that.”

“I can’t believe we didn’t fight more than we did” Ali chuckled. “She was so good to me Syd, better than I deserved, that’s for sure.”

“Oh, you’re both good to each other, I know how it works” the coach winked. “I’m glad you two got this thing figured out too. I’ll bet this vacation is a perfect cure.”

“It is. We really weren’t sure about it at first, we’ve been kind of giving each other some room...”

“I know. You almost didn’t go to Newport” Sydney clucked. “Hell, if somebody gives me a night away in a fancy hotel with my man, Ima take it, no matter what” she said emphatically, and with lots of facial expressions that made Ali giggle.

“I came to my senses, and so did she” Ali giggled again. “And it was a great night. I loved it, and I loved her so much for making us do it.”

“So is the balance back?”

“I don’t know” the brunette spun her coffee cup idly as her brow furrowed. “I never felt the change in the first place, but I know what she means. I saw it when I looked back at it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, the kids do come to me for a lot of things, but that’s mostly because I do the schedule and I have a lot of the answers they need” she tried to explain. “And in the afternoons, the way it was before, Ashlyn was the only mom there so they had to go to her for everything. I didn’t realize how important that was to her, or them.” She paused and looked out at the water for a minute. “I didn’t realize I was fucking it all up for all of them.”

“That seems a little harsh Alibaba” Sydney frowned. “I get what you’re saying and I get where Ash is coming from, I think. But the kids had both moms home for them for all of last year – I don’t think any of that qualifies as fucked up.”

“No, you’re right, I don’t mean to sound like a drama queen” Ali rolled her eyes.

“But you and your wife were stalked and attacked in your office 14 months ago. It’s dramatic as fuck” the coach gave her friend a serious look. “It’s ok. You’re allowed.”

“I think the most frustrating thing for me is that I can’t fix it and I can’t even really tell how well the fix is working because it’s Ashlyn’s thing.”

“That would drive a control freak nuts” Sydney winked at her friend and they both laughed softly.

“Mattie explained it to both of us though. It’s Ash feeling inadequate that causes the problem. This has always been an issue for her, ever since I was pregnant with Drew. She’s tried hard to work on it, I know she has” the brunette defended her wife even though it wasn’t necessary. “But I can’t do anything to fix this for her. I’ve never been able to.”

“No, you can’t. But you can go back to the office, right? I mean, that’s kind of what kickstarted this whole thing in the first place, right?”

“Yeah, it was. And I’m going back...I’m working on it” Ali’s voice was sad and Sydney knew there was something she wasn’t telling her.

“But what?” she nudged the brunette again with her elbow, gently.

“I really loved being home with the kids” Ali admitted quietly after a brief pause, saying the words out loud for the very first time. “I’ve never even told Ash that” she gave Sydney a guilty look.

“It’s ok. I know you’re trying to protect her and make it easier for her” the coach gave her bestie another knowing smile. “If you tell her how much you loved it, she’ll just feel terrible and guilty and you’ll be stuck in a whole other mess.”

“Exactly” Ali sounded relieved that it made sense to somebody else. “I’ll tell her though. We’ve talked about it before, a few years ago. She wanted to make sure I was still ok being the one going to work every day. She was so sweet about it.”

“Shocker” Sydney rolled her eyes playfully, lightening the mood just a bit and making Ali laugh. Ashlyn being sweet and good to Ali was nothing new. “You’ll tell her when this stuff gets settled. I know you will.”

They were quiet for another minute before the coach spoke again, not wanting to let the momentum they had gained go to waste. She wanted to make sure she really understood her best friend the way she thought she did before giving her one last big push.

“But you and I both know that you can’t work from home forever” she quirked her eyebrow at the brunette. “You’d go crazy. You love going to work and being at the office, right in the thick of things. I know you do. I’ve seen that look on your face when you’re there – you come alive. It’s like the people, both the clients and your team, energize you. It’s weird” Sydney chuckled again, hoping her take had been correct. “But it’s cool. And it’s totally you.”

Ali felt so much love for her friend as she listened to the coach talk about what made the brunette tick. Only a true bestie would be able to dissect her that way and it felt wonderful to be seen and understood like that.

“It is” Ali grinned. “I do miss it, a lot. I felt awful at the holiday party” she shook her head and groaned at the memory. “And it wasn’t about what happened last year. I just felt so out of the loop and detached, and...unnecessary...”

“Hey, now I never said unnecessary” Sydney corrected. “Even when you were working from home last year you were still vital to the company – you don’t really need me to tell you that, do you?”

“No, I know, my head knows anyway. But being there at the party with everybody and not really knowing what was going on with them – not even just about work stuff really...”

“You enjoy the people you work with” Sydney nodded. “That’s a good thing because you hired most of them” she giggled. “And listen, you’ve been the one going to work for what, 12 years now?” the coach asked and answered her own question. “So you took a break from it for a year. Good for you. Good for the kids. Not so great for Ashlyn. But now you’ll go back and Ash will figure her shit out and everything will be back to normal.”

“Right. That’s the plan” Ali nodded, sitting up straighter and smiling anxiously at her bestie. “I can do it, right?”

“Yes you absolutely can do it. No doubt about it” Sydney agreed as enthusiastically as the early hour allowed. “And whatever you need – you just ask and I’ll do it. Except for moving all of Whit’s law books from her office to yours” she shook her head dramatically. “That’s not happening.”

“I know!” Ali laughed. The thought of moving the multitude of books from the lawyer’s office had been a big deterrent for the brunette every time her brain considered switching offices with Whitney. “If I switch it’ll be with Jared, just for that reason.”

“Why don’t you just take one of the new offices – the one Hilary never uses? At least for a while. Maybe you just need more time before you move back into yours. But use Hil’s or Ash’s in the meantime.”

“That’s what Ash keeps saying” Ali smiled. “I guess you can’t both be wrong” she shrugged and took a deep breath, turning her face to the sea as the warm breeze came in to shore. They were quiet for a minute before the brunette spoke definitively. “I like it. That’s the plan. I’ll start in March. No more excuses or delays. I can do this.”

Sydney patted herself on the back as she finished her coffee, enjoying the warm breeze and the beautiful setting. It wasn’t too often that Ali Krieger needed a pep talk to get her motivated to do something difficult. But the coach was always there to provide one when necessary. That’s what being best friends was all about and Ali would do the same thing for her and she knew it. Sydney could always count on Ali to be there for her. They had a rocky spell after Drew had been born and Ali struggled to be anything other than a mommy at the same time she was learning how to be a new mommy. But they had overcome it and their friendship had deepened from the hurtful experience. They were stronger and better friends than ever, having bonded over the truly horrifying stories of motherhood that only besties shared with each other. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Sydney knew all the dirty kid secrets from the big old house, just as Ali knew everything that went on with the Dwyer boys. 

It wasn’t always pretty but that was the point. Who else were you supposed to tell about the time your 6-year old daughter didn’t quite make it to the bathroom in time and trailed diarrhea from one end of the staff cabin at The Academy to the other? Or the time your curious 5-year old son carried one of your used tampons through the house and gave it to you, like a gift, in front of his two big brothers, his hands covered in your period blood because he had peeled it open trying to ‘make it pretty’ for you. There were parenting stories that you just didn’t share with other moms, or even your own mom. Kids did weird things because their little minds were still trying to figure stuff out. All parents knew that, but most of those extreme stories stayed as private as possible. Ali and Sydney were so relieved to have each other to share those mortifying stories with. It meant everything to both of them.

Luckily, Whitney and Ashlyn had a very similar relationship. Ashlyn took on Sydney’s role of being unafraid to share anything while Whitney played Ali’s slightly more shy part. Ashlyn wasn’t quite as outlandish as Sydney, but Whitney was shyer than Ali was about sharing embarrassing kid stories so the Harris – Engen dynamic was the same as the Leroux – Krieger one, just a step lower on both parts. It worked. In Grenada, Ashlyn and Whitney had their deep conversation about the balance of power in the big old house early in the week. Whitney could tell her bestie needed to download some things before she would be able to truly relax and let the island paradise work its’ magic. But later in the week the two found themselves alone while everyone else was exploring or shopping so they went down to the pool with the bar in the middle of it – Whitney’s favorite. They ordered fruity liquor drinks with fun umbrellas in them and let their bodies float beneath the long, clear bar counter that skimmed the top of the water and stretched out 20 feet on either side of the actual bar. There was a view of the ocean and they hung onto the bar counter, side by side, drinking their strong drinks, and letting the water around them caress their skin. It was the middle of the afternoon and they both knew they could get into a lot of trouble with the delicious alcohol and the couple of hours they had before either Ryan or Ali returned to rein them in.

“So are you gonna tell me what’s on your mind, or what?” Ashlyn finally just blurted out after several attempts to get her best friend talking about herself instead of checking in on the keeper and her troubles. They were on their second drink and enjoying the sun and the beautiful afternoon. “I’ve been waiting and waiting and I’m tired of waiting Whit. You do the same thing Ali does and it drives me crazy” she shook her head and looked down, her voice a mixture of sadness and frustration.

“What do you mean?” Whitney asked defensively, turning her head sharply to look at the side of Ashlyn’s face. She moved so swiftly that she almost spilled her drink, momentarily losing her grip on the real coconut it was served in. “Shit” she grumbled and licked the sweet mixture off of her hand where it had spilled. “What are you talking about?” she huffed, surprised by the turn their conversation had suddenly taken.

“You treat me like I’m fragile. You don’t ever want to bother me with anything because you’re afraid I won’t be able to handle it with my own bullshit going on” she explained simply. There was no bite in her words, just honesty and some resignation. “I hate it.”

Whitney honestly didn’t know what to say. Ashlyn was absolutely right and the keeper had talked to her several times in the past about how frustrating it was when Ali did it.

“So, even when you’re struggling I’m supposed to just expect you to help carry my stuff too?” Whitney’s voice was softer, but still forthright, as she studied the keeper’s face. If Ashlyn wanted to have this conversation, they would have this conversation.

“Yes” she nodded slowly, eyes still on the horizon as she took another sip of her drink.

They were quiet for a long moment and the lawyer moved her focus to the sea as she thought hard about what to do next. Their legs bumped into each other as they lazily moved them around in the refreshing pool. Whitney took a deep breath, sighed slowly, and then began to talk. Her words came out evenly and were slow and steady as she kept her eyes on the ocean in front of them. It was difficult for Ashlyn to determine the heaviest thing her bestie was carrying once she was finished speaking.

“I don’t have enough interns at the Foundation this semester and it’s throwing everybody’s workload out of whack. Which means I’m there more and at the K-H office less and...with Ali not there and Jared...well, let’s just say it’s not good that I’m not there more” she sighed heavily before continuing. “Becca won’t make up her mind about her birthday party theme and I’ll have to make a decision as soon as we get home because it’ll only be a month away and I’ll have to reserve...something. She’s turning 6, I get it – there are lots of cool options, but she’s gotta make a decision or I’ll have to. And I’ll make the wrong one, no matter what” she rolled her eyes and then returned their focus to the shore. “ Tommy’s still not feeling great, that’s why we keep calling home. He can’t seem to shake this cold. It seems like he’s always sick these days. It reminds me of little Josie when she was his age. He gets rid of one thing and them bam, he’s sick again. He’s always been such a tough little guy too” she shook her head as she tried to figure out the puzzle that had stumped both she and her husband for months. “And last but not least...” she closed her eyes for a couple of seconds and felt her best friend’s attentive gaze on her, “mom’s sick. She’s not sure what it is yet, but...they’re waiting for biopsy results to come back next week.”

“Fuck Whit” Ashlyn whispered.

“It could be nothing” the lawyer shrugged. “Just like Ali’s ultrasounds. It could be nothing.”

“Or it could be what, cancer?”

“Yeah, breast cancer” Whitney nodded and finally turned to meet Ashlyn’s worried eyes. “There, happy now?” she tried to make it light but it didn’t work. She chuckled and took another drink from the coconut in her hand and then took another deep breath. “How’s that for some dirty truth?”

“I’m happy you finally told me all of that” Ashlyn replied and tried to process everything her bestie had just shared with her. She gave the lawyer a gentle nudge with her elbow. “But fuck, no, none of that’s good. Especially your mom. Jesus.” They were both quiet again for a minute. “Can I do anything to help? Want me to talk to the bug when we get home and see if I can get her to make up her mind?”

“Sure, why not?” Whitney smiled softly. Ashlyn had a way with kids and if anybody could get Becca to come to a decision it would be the sweet, goofy keeper. “Thanks Ash.”

“And Al’s going back to the office in March. I don’t know exactly how or where she’ll be sitting, but she’s going back for sure. She’s got her mind set on it.”

“Well that’s great to hear.”

“You don’t have to worry about being at the Engen Foundation more this semester” the keeper clarified. “She’ll be back so you can go do what you need to do there. And what about using some of our interns for the Foundation? Or do they have to know lawyer-y stuff?”

“It’ll be great to have Ali back, no matter what else is going on” Whitney grinned. “I’ve missed her, more than I thought I would” she shrugged and chuckled. 

“Hey, you’re MY bestie – don’t make me come in there and remind you both of that” the keeper playfully teased.

“Relax you goof” Whitney laughed. 

“I’m just saying...” the keeper squinted and let the open-ended sentence hang like a threat as intended.

“Alright, whatever” the lawyer shook her head and chuckled. “And, no the K-H interns won’t work, thanks for the offer though. It would mess up our grant money.”

“What about if they just volunteered instead of interned?” Ashlyn thought out loud for a minute. “We’d still have them as our interns but we’d farm them out to the Foundation for...volunteer work?” she proposed, not sure if it was the dumbest thing she’d ever come up with or not.

“Hmmm...it’s definitely not the way it’s supposed to work, but maybe...” Whitney’s brain tried to cut through the alcohol and found it too difficult. “Ugh, we’ll work on that after vacation. But it might fly. I’m too buzzed right now to figure it out” she giggled. “Thanks though. Really, I appreciate it a lot.”

“No problem. See how that works?” Ashlyn nudged the lawyer again, a little bit harder. “I bring my troubles to you and you help me out. You bring your troubles to me and I try and do the same...”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it” Whitney nodded and rolled her eyes before giving her best friend a frustrated shake of her head that ended in a smile and a side hug. “I know you’re strong and stubborn and I don’t want you to think I would ever doubt that” she kept going as they pulled apart. “But I also know you’re going through some things, some heavy things, and I was just giving you a little room to carry them. That’s all.”

“Well don’t.”

“Ok. I won’t.”

“No, I mean it” Ashlyn fixed the lawyer with a surprisingly stern look. “I don’t have time to go to couples counseling with you about it, and neither do you, so just...don’t do it.”

“I won’t. I promise” Whitney nodded solemnly. “But you have to promise to be honest with me too” she quirked her eyebrow. “If you’ve got too much you have to tell me. If you need to talk or if you just need to relax in a pool and drink yummy drinks...”

“You’ll be my first call, I swear” Ashlyn nodded and they lifted their drinks up in a toast.

“Cheers to vacation!” Whitney offered with a sincere grin.

“Cheers to besties!” Ashlyn answered right back as they tapped their drinks together, laughing at the funny sound the coconut made against the actual glass in the keeper’s hand.

“That didn’t sound right at all” Whitney laughed and Ashlyn joined her before replying again.

“It sounded like paradise to me!”

//

One morning while still in Grenada, Ali and Ashlyn were having a lazy start to their day. It was the day during the week that they had made no plans for any excursions or activities. All of the couples had done at least a day of that and it worked out pretty well for the most part where the suite was mostly empty for big chunks of the day while the other couples were out and about. The Kriegers had both peed and brushed their teeth, 20 minutes apart and without discussing it, before getting back into the cozy bed, hoping to prolong the soft cuddling that was so unique to that time of day. 

“Did you just get up and pee and brush your teeth?” Ali smirked as her wife winked and lifted the covers up to get back into bed.

“Just like you already did, so don’t even start with me...” the keeper sassed in her lower, morning voice. “Well, well, well...what do we have here?” she grinned when she saw that Ali was naked under the covers. A new development since she had left the bed 5 minutes earlier. 

Any leftover sassiness was gone instantly, replaced by the goofy, lovestruck grin Ashlyn always got when she saw her wife’s naked body. They had been enjoying sleeping naked most nights while on their grown-up vacation, but last night they had taken a break and gone to bed in pajamas without having sex. They weren’t 30 years old anymore, they couldn’t have sex every single night. Well, they could, but it wasn’t what either of them wanted that vacation. One or two nights off would be ok, letting their bodies rest and relax along with their minds. Besides, part of not having sex last night was with the unspoken expectation that they would be spending a lot of naked time together on their down day. So far Ashlyn wasn’t disappointed in the least.

“No pressure babe” Ali rolled onto her left side to face her wife once the keeper had stripped her pj shorts and t-shirt off and gotten back under the covers. They both still had sleep lines and creases on their bodies and they quickly snuggled up together on their sides, intertwining their legs as they pulled each other close. “Really, I just...I want to feel you for a while.”

“Oh you’re gonna feel me alright” Ashlyn chuckled and gave the brunette s soft kiss. “Good morning beautiful.”

“No, I mean, I’m in the mood for slow, lazy sex...not even sex really” Ali paused when she saw her wife frown in confusion and a little bit of disappointment. “No! I wanna have sex...definitely...ugh, I’m not saying this right” she groaned and closed her eyes, only opening them again when she felt Ashlyn’s warm lips on her forehead and then her nose and then her cheek. The brunette tried again, her voice and brain still sleepy too. “I wanna be naked with you for a few hours, and give you soft kisses, and let my fingers touch every inch of your warm skin. I wanna relax and just take our time and just be with you and your beautiful body and not have to rush through any part of anything” she gave Ashlyn a slow kiss that was gentle with just a hint of the slow-building fire she was trying to describe. “There might be orgasms involved, and there might not be” she shrugged and smiled lovingly into tawny hazel eyes that blinked softly back at her. “I just want to feel you for a while, is that ok?”

“Anything you want baby” Ashlyn gave her another tender, sweet kiss while their hands moved slowly across naked skin beneath the covers. “I want to fucking taste you, and feel you shake” she admitted as they pressed their foreheads together after the kiss. “But I can wait. We’ll get there, whenever you’re ready.”

“Well stop saying things like that” Ali laughed and then moaned as she thought about how awesome it was going to feel when her keeper ate her out and then held her through her orgasm. “The soft, slow kissing and touching won’t last 10 minutes if you start talking like that” she cautioned with another sleepy kiss to Ashlyn’s lips. “I just...we never get to do this...and if we wake up too much then it’ll be too hard to go slow...”

“I know, I know” the keeper smiled and her dimple appeared. “You’re right. This is a real luxury and I don’t want to speed through it either” she shook her head, still smiling into her favorite whiskey-colored eyes.

“Are you sure it’s ok?”

“It’s better than ok, sugar” she winked, playfully, and made Ali giggle. “Really, it sounds wonderful. I’m in” she kissed the brunette’s lips tenderly. “Sign me up” she let her hand skim slowly across the curve of Ali’s hip and then brushed just inside of her hip, a little above the Penn State tattoo, with the back of her fingers. Goosebumps appeared and Ali closed her eyes as her smile grew wider. “Let the slow, lazy sex that’s not really sex begin” she couldn’t help but giggle as she said the words and was happy when the brunette joined her.

“It sounds dumb when you say it like that” Ali objected but kept the smile on her face while her hands made their way up to the back of Ashlyn’s neck and down to the valley of her breasts.

“Nothing dumb about it at all” the keeper said sincerely. “I love it, honestly. You lead and I’ll follow. When, and if, you’re ready for more you just let me know.”

“I’ll definitely be ready” the brunette chuckled. “No if about it babe.”

“That’s good to hear” Ashlyn smiled as Ali untangled their legs and started to move down her body, keeping her hands moving slowly, methodically, the whole time.

“You know, if you keep getting tattoos I’m going to need a lot more time like this” the brunette quipped as she ducked under the sheet. 

She really wanted to throw the sheet off of their bodies but knew Ashlyn would probably still be chilly after just waking up. Ali could deal with the sheet for a while longer if she had to.

“Why do you think I have so many?” the blonde teased right back and they both laughed.

They spent the next half hour exploring each other’s skin with their hands and their mouths, but it never heated up past the sweet, soft touches Ali had been craving. They took advantage of their time together to talk about things, simple things that wouldn’t get either of them riled up in a good or a bad way. Benign things that were as sweet and soft as the kisses they shared.

“You seem really relaxed babe, not just right now” Ali giggled, “but these whole first few days.”

“I am” the keeper smiled and tried not to laugh when she felt her wife’s hand inadvertently tickle her foot. “Mmmm...that feels nice” she convinced herself not to be ticklish while praising her wife’s nimble fingers. “This place is incredible.”

“It really is, isn’t it?”

“I may never leave” Ashlyn winked down at the brunette. It had been almost an hour and the sheet was long gone. “I’m gonna kidnap you and we’re gonna live right here on this hillside with those incredible sunsets...”

“Don’t forget to kidnap the maid service and personal chef too” Ali chuckled as she pushed her wife’s body, trying to get her to roll over onto her stomach. “Roll over please.”

“Gladly” Ashlyn moaned and stretched as she got into place. “Mmmmm...”

“Don’t take this the wrong way” Ali paused, even stopping her hands moving across her wife’s back, “but I think part of why it’s so great here is because we’re all here together.”

“Oh man!” Ashlyn laughed out loud, but it came out muffled when she turned her face into the pillow. “I was gonna say the same thing but it seemed like a total mood-killer so I chickened out!”

“See, you think I baby you all the time but I just went right ahead and said it” Ali laughed and pressed her cheek against Ashlyn’s back, loving the way she could hear her love’s heartbeat. “You chickened out. I can’t believe it” the brunette smiled as they settled down again. It was quiet for a minute and Ali started to wonder if she had somehow hurt her wife’s feelings. “Are you ok? I didn’t mean...”

“No, I’m good honey” Ashlyn reached down and let her fingers find the back of the brunette’s head, rubbing softly with her long fingers. “I was just thinking about what you said.”

“Am I in trouble?” Ali held her breath, genuinely unsure if she had just stepped into a mess she hadn’t even seen.

“No, not at all. I just...I was talking to Whit about how you guys both still treat me like I’m some delicate flower sometimes...”

Ali sat up and let her hand come to rest on the small of her wife’s back. The brunette’s whole body tensed. 

“No, it’s nothing bad baby” Ashlyn rolled over when she realized her wife was preparing for something difficult or painful coming her way. She tried to pull the brunette on top of her but Ali resisted, unable to do anything but worry about what her wife was going to say next. Ashlyn settled for holding her hand and rubbing the thigh and hip she could reach. “No, I was just gonna tell you that you’re right. You totally said it, and trusted that I wouldn’t freak out. You’re right.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds, completely on different wavelengths. Ali waited patiently for more and Ashlyn tried hard to find something to say that would help her explain what she was trying to communicate. The keeper tugged on her wife again and the brunette relented, giving both hands to Ashlyn.

“Come here...” Ashlyn tilted her head and gave her wife a soft, sweet smile, blinking slowly at her to try and let her know there was no reason to be anxious. 

Ali wasn’t ready to believe it just yet, she was gun-shy from the tumult they’d been experiencing in their relationship over the past few months. She felt two steps behind, as usual, and didn’t trust what her eyes were telling her as she cautiously smiled back at her keeper. Instead of letting Ashlyn pull her on top of her and hold her closely to her chest, Ali got on her knees and straddled the blonde’s hips, settling herself carefully on top of her so she could see her face clearly and maintain a bit of distance until she could be sure.

“I gave Whit a bunch of shit yesterday, down at the pool while you were shopping” Ashlyn started over, running one hand up her wife’s thigh while still clasping her other hand, resting it on the other thigh. “She wasn’t telling me what was going on with her and I knew it was because she was worried about me and didn’t think I could handle it.”

“Or she was being thoughtful and considerate and trying not to bother you while you had something else important going on” Ali offered a different perspective on the issue, trying not to sound as defensive as she felt.

“Right, that too” Ashlyn nodded and sighed heavily. “Look, you guys both do that to me and I hate it” she held Ali’s gaze for several seconds. “But I understand it. I don’t want you to do it, either of you, but I get why you want to. I do.”

“I try so hard not to do it” Ali shook her head, her face full of regret.

“I know, I know” Ashlyn’s face brightened and she squeezed her wife’s thigh to get her attention. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. God, I don’t know why this is so hard for me to get out” she whined in frustration. “I was feeling bad about it, while I was talking with Whit, and this, this morning, what you just said...it’s a great example of how you didn’t treat me like a baby. You treated me like your equal. Like a grown-up who you don’t have to coddle or worry about all the time. So thank you. Honestly, that’s all I’m trying to say.”

“Wow, you just took me on a whole roller coaster of different thoughts” Ali exhaled and looked suspiciously at her wife. “Are you sure? You’re not just backpedaling so we don’t fight about it again?”

“No, I promise that’s not what I’m doing” Ashlyn brought Ali’s hand to her lips and gently kissed each knuckle, never taking her eyes off of the cinnamon ones above her. “It’s completely weird that Whit and I just had that conversation yesterday” she chuckled, still a little anxious. “But I’m not saying you and Whit talked about it or anything...”

Ali’s entire face changed as she realized how bad that would have looked and felt to Ashlyn.

“We didn’t” the brunette shook her head slowly and solemnly. “I had no idea...”

“I know” Ashlyn nodded and kissed her hand again. “I know. Sometimes I let my imagination get the better of me. And I know you guys talk about me...”

“Just when we’re worried about you, honestly babe, I don’t want you to think we’re always talking about you when you’re not around.”

“I know. I swear I know. I trust you both” the keeper smiled again and Ali felt like she was being completely sincere.

“Whew” the brunette exhaled again and chuckled softly. “Bullet dodged.”

They both laughed, happy to make it through that minefield without any casualties. It took a couple of minutes before they both relaxed back into the previous mood. Ali let her fingers get back to tracing tattoos and Ashlyn’s hands found her wife’s gorgeous ass, innocently caressing the soft skin there.

“So we both agree it’s pretty awesome having all of us here together, right?” the keeper bravely tried to move forward.

“Yes” Ali laughed, relieved. “Don’t get me wrong, I love going on vacation just the two of us. That will always be my favorite” she gave her girl a big smile and then playfully squeezed both of Ashlyn’s breasts.

“Hey!” the blonde giggled and squirmed. “That better be your answer, woman” she added in laughing protest, using her hands to cover her chest and keep her wife from further contact. 

“It is” Ali laughed again, trying to tickle her keeper someplace where the long, tattooed arms couldn’t reach and defend. “But I love this trip with the whole gang. We absolutely have to plan another one of these.”

The mood was lighter and both women felt relaxed and relatively carefree again. Ashlyn finally took both of her wife’s wrists and held them firmly above her own chest so Ali couldn’t tickle her any more. Ali let her wife support her upper body weight as she bent down and gave Ashlyn a slow, deep kiss. The keeper lowered her wife all the way down onto her chest and wrapped her arms around her back, holding their bodies closely together while the kiss intensified. 

“I’m sorry I made it weird, did I wreck the whole thing?” Ashlyn asked as they caught their breath after the kiss.

“Not even a little bit” Ali panted out. “And you didn’t make it weird either. I did that. But...” she scrunched up her face in frustration and then shook her head to get the thoughts out of her head, “...it’s good that we talked about it. We need to do more of that, I think” she gave the keeper a shy, hesitant look. “I’m not being critical...”

“I know you’re not” Ashlyn cut her off and gave her a quick kiss. “We do need to talk more about these things. You’re absolutely right. I don’t want to get into the whole thing right now” she tilted her hips up into her wife and they both enjoyed the contact, a little surprised at how quickly they had gotten themselves back on track. “But I know my balance of power thing could have been fixed a lot sooner if I had just talked to you about it. I know that now honey and I’m sorry.”

“Ashlyn” Ali said tenderly but the keeper wouldn’t let their naked morning time together be derailed by that issue.

“No, it’s all good. I did the best I could at the time but I see how I could do it better...next time. And that’s all I want to say about it” she smiled up at her beautiful brunette. 

“I love you so much” Ali’s voice was emotional as she returned the smile and pressed warm kisses all over Ashlyn’s face, slowly covering her eyes, cheeks, nose, forehead, chin and then, finally, lips. They had both been moving their hands across soft skin since Ashlyn finally got them chest to chest again a few minutes earlier. The temperature of the room had definitely risen, both literally and figuratively. “If it’s ok with you, I’d really like to do your thing now” Ali said, her voice husky with desire. 

“Oh, I see, so orgasms are ok now?” Ashlyn teased as she let her long fingers slide down past her wife’s ass where they tapped gently at her soft, damp folds. She felt her own core twitch when Ali moaned against her lips and kissed her passionately. “I’ll take that as a yes” she smirked and rolled them over so she was on top of the brunette. 

“That’s a hell yes” Ali panted out and then moaned again.


	20. Moving Forward & A Step Back

The seven weeks between the Grenada vacation and Easter went by in a blur. Dodge got the cast off of his wrist the last week of February. The asshole neighbors across the street continued to be absolutely horrible to anybody who wasn’t white and straight. The four-families celebrated birthdays for four different kids: Maddox Dwyer turned 7, Penny Cross turned 9, Meg turned 19, and Becca Flanagan turned 6. Not to be overlooked was Tammye’s 68th birthday, in between Meg and Becca. The Breakers training camp started in March and Ashlyn started her first full season as part of the ownership team. It was exciting but odd. The keeper still felt like she should be down in the locker room getting ready to take the pitch in Breakers blue, but she knew it was just her mind playing tricks on her. Abby Smith, her former Breakers teammate and the USWNT starting goalkeeper for several years, had been hired as the head coach of the Breakers in the offseason and the fanbase and team were all excited for the new direction. Matt Beard, the coach who had been new the year after Ashlyn and Whitney had joined the Breakers in 2015, had enjoyed one of the longest tenures in the history of the NWSL. He had coached the Breakers for 15 seasons, most of them winning ones. He hadn’t left because he was unhappy in Boston. He had been offered the head coaching position with the women’s national team in England and moved back home to follow that opportunity. 

Abby Smith had joined the assistant coaching ranks as soon as she retired from playing in the NWSL after the 2027 season, and had been working her way up the ladder over the past three years. She had always been very intelligent both on and off the pitch and had completed her Masters Degree in Education as well. She was a natural coach and had gotten better and smarter as she gained more experience. By 2031 the NWSL owners were comprised of more women than men and, not surprisingly, the coaching ranks had reflected a similar shift towards equality between the sexes. It wasn’t a coincidence that female owners were more than willing to hire female coaches. There were 20 NWSL teams and over half of them were owned by women; and over half of them were coached by women. It was a beautiful thing. Ashlyn took particular pride in the fact that many of the coaches in the league, both head and assistant coaches, had been members of some of her Breakers teams. In addition to Abby Smith, there was Tiffany Weimer, Angela Salem, Amanda Frisbie, and Rosie White. Breakers fans were sad to see Matt Beard leave, but they knew they were getting a good replacement in Abby Smith.

Ashlyn had another big event in March and that was the official groundbreaking ceremony for the ‘Ashlyn Harris Sports Complex’ up in Gloucester. The last week of March was cold and blustery and everybody in New England knew they wouldn’t officially be out of winter’s grasp until early April. The keeper, along with Ali and all five kids, attended the ceremony in the early afternoon. Ashlyn posed for a lot of pictures with shiny silver shovels and hard hats representing the construction company that would be doing the work. There were bankers and politicians and architects all on hand for the big event and Ashlyn even gave a short speech. It would take two years to complete everything, including the huge indoor space as well as the multiple outdoor fields for the complex that was located on the Western edge of Gloucester where there was more real estate to work with. The complex was technically located in Gloucester but Rockport, Essex, and Manchester, the three towns closest to it, all chipped in with some resources. The idea was for the complex to serve all of Cape Ann, which was made up by the city of Gloucester and those three other towns, and the whole community was excited about it. The keeper made sure everybody knew the complex was due to the immense generosity of Robert Kraft. It had been almost a year to the day since her old friend and mentor had passed away and she still missed him dearly. 

Ali stuck to her word and went back to work every day at the Knight-Harris offices in Cambridge, starting at the beginning of March. She took her wife’s and best friend’s advice and moved into Ashlyn’s office in the addition part of the building, still up on the fourth floor. Ashlyn didn’t use the office very much and would just use Hilary’s office instead, at least for the time being. The keeper and Sydney both believed that Ali would be strong enough to move back into her old office at some point, but there was certainly no pressure or time limit on it. Hilary came to the office three or four times a year and she let the other shareholders know that she was perfectly fine to share her office with Ashlyn, or even give it up altogether if necessary. Ali had always thought it important for the two founding namesake women of K-H to have official spaces in the building. She felt that their offices needed to be luxurious enough so they registered as a successful, marketable company that any rising sports star would be lucky to sign with. It was all optics, but they were important and Ali knew it. 

When you got off the elevator on the fourth floor at K-H, the executive conference room, Whitney’s office and Jared’s office were on your left, in that order, as you walked down the long hallway. Those three spaces filled the front of the building, on the street side. Across from Jared’s office at the far end of the building was Ali’s old office, then the two executive bathrooms and water bubbler, and then the new addition stuck out off of the back of the original building, just to the right of the stairwell. On the fourth floor, the addition included two offices – one for Ashlyn, nearest the door to the rest of the 4th floor and the stairwell, and the other for Hilary beyond it, at the back of the addition. It took some getting used to for the brunette and she found herself taking a great deal of comfort being around Ashlyn’s things. The plan had been to move all of the keeper’s stuff into Hilary’s office or Ali’s old office. But Ali ended up keeping a lot of her wife’s things right where they were. She didn’t redecorate the space, she just sort of moved into it and tried to disturb it as little as possible. She loved looking up to see all of Ashlyn’s awards, medals, trophies, and achievements from her successful career. She especially loved seeing the large photographs hung on the walls in the office - of her keeper in different big match moments over the years. They were meant to inspire and motivate and they did that and more. Sometimes the brunette caught herself daydreaming as she gazed up at her wife’s image. Whitney teased her about it so much that Ali blushed out of habit, every time the lawyer came into the office.

// 

Easter was on the 13th of April that year and the Boston Marathon was the very next day, making the long weekend twice as hectic as usual. Sydney and Dom hosted the holiday again and Meg was happy to be able to attend a rare Easter family gathering. She had always been busy playing in basketball or soccer tournaments throughout the years and couldn’t remember the last time she had spent Easter in Massachusetts. Kyle and his family made the drive up, staying at the big old house because Iris Kimball, Nathan’s mom, had recently moved to a senior living community on the North Shore. It wasn’t right in Ipswich, but it wasn’t too far away either. The widow seemed to come back to life after about a year of mourning Bill’s unexpected death. The whole family felt better with her living in the condo facility. It was just like a regular condominium scenario except there were all different levels of service you could buy if you needed or wanted to. Iris was back to living a busy and productive life. She still didn’t quite feel like herself, but she was able to get up and live again. She would need some time to learn what her life without Bill in it would be like. 

The Dwyers, Kriegers, Christophers, Wilds, Kimballs and Sandi Leroux all got together for Easter Sunday and did the usual egg hunt in the backyard. Niki and Molly took their kids to Rhode Island for the weekend and The Flanagans made the trip to Long Island that year. Jared Kimball wasn’t there because he was spending the weekend with his on-again, off-again boyfriend who travelled much of the year for work. This was the second on-again, off-again boyfriend for Jared, and the second boyfriend who travelled a lot. The people who loved Jared the most were all worried that he had a type and it was the type that he could leave easily, when things got too difficult in the relationship. Nathan worried constantly about his little brother but knew there wasn’t much he could do about it except be there for him when he needed him. When Rick came to Boston for any length of time, Jared spent as much of it as possible with him. The Kriegers and Kimballs had learned not to expect Jared when Rick was in town. 

Tanner Wild was travelling with the Revs so he missed Easter too. The other long-standing bachelor in the family, Tanner seemed to be closer to settling down. Everybody liked Renee a lot and they were all pleased to see her at his soccer games. She wasn’t a groupie and, although she liked sports, she wasn’t a fanatic in any way. She had always enjoyed the social aspect of being a sports fan, enjoying the time she got to spend with friends when they would all gather at somebody’s apartment or at a bar to watch any of the local professional teams play. Vicki Krieger, in particular, adored the bright young woman. She liked Renee so much that she was afraid of scaring her away. It nearly killed her, but Vicki did her very best not to butt into her son’s life and get too nosy about the burgeoning new relationship.

Edgar and Cristina Guerrero were 11 and 9, respectively. Cassius, James and Maddox Dwyer were 13, 9 and 7. And Meg, Drew, Josie, and the twins were 19, 11, 9 and 7. Meg, Edgar, Cristina and Maddox had already celebrated their birthdays that year, but the rest of the kids were still looking forward to adding one more year to their ages in 2031. The Guerreros continued to do well in their adoptive home with Kyle, Nathan and Peaches. Each child had grown to trust and love their two dads in the 5 years they had lived together and they all expected the relationships to deepen further as they embarked on year 6. It didn’t seem possible to any of the extended family that 5 full years had gone by already. Sometimes it felt like they had just met Edgar and Cristina a couple of weeks before. Other times it was hard to remember what family gatherings had been like before they joined the clan. 

Both kids were doing well in school and Edgar excelled on the soccer pitch. He loved it more than anything else and it was more proof that he and Cristina had found the right home. Cristina also loved soccer but she, much like Lily Krieger, hadn’t found the one thing that truly captivated her yet. She liked many different things like chorus and music and reading. If she had to pick one favorite thing to do it would have to be reading. The girl read so much that her dads worried that she was missing out on other activities. The therapist who still worked with the family, as well as both kids individually, assured them that it was normal and pretty common in kids who had come from rough and abusive homes. They were used to fending for themselves and needing to find solace in quiet, inexpensive ways that didn’t bother anybody else. Reading was the perfect solution. Those kids in their awful circumstances would literally get lost in a book to transport themselves out of their own version of hell. Cristina might have used it as a coping mechanism at first, but now, almost 6 years later, she was well-adjusted and an eager reader for no other reason than she loved it.

Both Guerrero kids had occasional periods of upset that usually were the result of a bad dream or a flashback that came to them in a stressful situation. It didn’t happen very often, but it did still happen. All of the young moms in the family, the women who might remind the kids of their own horrible mother, were still mindful of the things that might upset Edgar or Cristina. It was easy to forget the more time went by. Nobody saw the Guerreros as anything other than family so sometimes there were some close calls. Ali would open her mouth to yell loudly at her brood, mostly so they could hear her over their own ruckus, and she would close it in a panic when she remembered that Cristina was sitting there in the room with her. Most of the young moms had that same thing happen to them at some point during every family gathering and they all breathed a sigh of relief when they caught themselves in the nick of time.

That Easter, the fifth the Guerreros had spent with the extended Krieger clan, went as most Easters usually did. Easter egg hunt outside in the morning, inhaling of candy immediately afterwards until parents literally took Easter baskets away until after lunch, lots of running around and pick-up soccer game, big lunch with Easter ham and all the fixings that everybody sat around eating wherever they could find a seat, slothful hour after the big meal when video games were played or soccer was watched on tv while clean-up was completed in the kitchen, another crack at the Easter baskets for the kids and alcohol for the participating grown-ups, family games and indoor activities and more video games, then the big soccer game outside, then dessert and more Easter candy for the kids. After dessert some folks went home while other folks hung out and stayed for the rest of the afternoon and enjoyed a second serving of Easter meal for dinner before finally taking their leave.

It was during the set up for dinner at the Dwyer house that catastrophe happened. Deb, Sandi and Iris were in the kitchen getting the food out of the fridge and heating it up. Kyle, Nathan, Ali, Meg, and Dom had taken many of the kids out for a ‘hike’ that was designed, really, just to get them out of the way for a while before dinner. Koty and Brianna had left with Ken and Vicki to go meet Brianna’s parents for what was sure to be an awkward dinner of their own. And Mike Christopher who seemed to be having a tough time shaking a lingering cold, had left as well because he needed to go home to the condo and lie down. A handful of the younger kids were still in the house, playing with different toys and games, while fighting over what to watch on the tv in the family room at the Dwyer house.

Sydney’s stress level had risen steadily all day long, mostly because Cassius was being a dickish 13-year old and torturing his younger brothers non-stop. He abused them verbally and physically and made both of them cry at least twice during the day. Even Dodge had fallen victim to the teenager’s venom when he had come to Maddox’ defense. The final straw had been when Cassius refused to join the ‘hikers’, flat out defying his father who had told him it wasn’t optional. Sydney was pissed and she was muttering to herself as she moved through the kitchen and dining room setting the table and answering random questions from the grandmas about where serving spoons and things were kept. The coach told Ashlyn, who was in the family room with Cassius, Lily, Cristina, and James – who had stayed behind just to avoid his big brother on the ‘hike’, that she had her permission to kill the oldest Dwyer boy at the slightest provocation. Ashlyn promised that she wouldn’t kill him, but assured the coach that she would handle whatever came up. The keeper recognized when Sydney was past her limit and was ready to rein Cassius in if he continued his bully-ish ways.

It was peaceful in the family room for almost 20 minutes as Ashlyn commandeered the remote control and put a surfing competition on. She had given the kids time to find a compromise and then made her own decision, as promised. 

“Aw, Mama” Lily moaned and then sighed before going right back to coloring and drawing on the coffee table in the room. The smile quickly returned to her face though, non-plussed by the turn of events.

“I told you I’d pick if you guys couldn’t” the keeper shrugged her shoulders as she sat in the middle of the couch with a smile on her face and a beer in her hand. 

James was on one side of her and Cristina on the other. Cristina was leaning forward and coloring on the coffee table with Lily while James stood leaning against the couch trying to decide what to do next. Cassius was in the reclining chair on the other side of James, with a deck of playing cards in his hand, flicking them into a bucket on the floor. As the minutes ticked by, the flicked cards began to hit James as often as they hit the bucket. It took Ashlyn a few minutes to catch on because James was blocking her view of the annoying teenager and his activity.

“Ow, cut it out” James brought his hand up to his face to ease the sting of the card that had just hit him in the cheek, hard.

“Oh that didn’t hurt” Cassius teased. “You’re such a baby” he shook his head dismissively.

“Don’t do it again Cash” Ashlyn leaned forward to make eye contact with the boy. “I’m serious.”

Cassius went back to flicking the cards into the bucket and they were all relieved when he got to the last card in the deck and let it fly. But they were just as disappointed when he pulled another well-worn deck out of the pocket of his hoodie and started anew. Ashlyn sat there wondering about the overall intelligence of the children in her life. If James was having such a hard time with his big brother that day, why the hell had he chosen to stand next to the couch closest to the chair Cassius was sitting in? She understood that James had stayed behind just to avoid him and she felt bad that the practical plan had backfired. She knew he would rather have been on the ‘hike’ with Josie and Drew and Edgar and Maddox and Dodge. And if Cassius was already at the end of his parents’ long rope of patience, shouldn’t his survival instincts have kicked in by now? Every kid knew when they had pushed their parent too far, it was part of their wiring. And those kids would remove themselves from the growing fire and wait for things to cool down again before asking for dessert or a drink or to turn the tv channel. It was just part of being a kid. Cassius’ survival instinct that day had either been blocked by pubescent hormones or had deserted him altogether because everybody in that house knew he was going to get punished severely for the way he had refused his father’s command to join him on the hike. Sydney had already loudly told him that she didn’t even want to hear his voice again until after dinner before going to help the grandmas get ready for dinner. But there Cassius sat in the recliner, like a prince on his throne, still flicking cards perilously close to James as well as Lily and Cristina. Not a very smart prince.

“Ow!” James gave his big brother a dirty look and began to cry, again clutching the side of his face but up higher, near his eye.

“Alright that’s it” Ashlyn sighed and stood up as the two girls turned to watch the interaction. 

Lily didn’t really have to turn because she was almost facing the recliner as she knelt on the floor near Cristina and leaned on the coffee table. Both girls watched innocently as the keeper reached her long arm out towards Cassius, palm up and waiting for him to give her the deck of cards. Ashlyn held James to her body with her other arm as he cried into her side. She rubbed his back as best she could with the bottle of beer still in her hand and tried to soothe him as she gave Cassius a hard glare.

“It was an accident” Cassius lied with a roll of his eyes, but he could see how serious Ashlyn was.

“Hand ‘em over. Now” Ashlyn nodded grimly at the half stack deck of cards. “Now” she said louder.

Cassius stared at her for a second, considering what to do. And, as is so often the case with hormonal teenagers, made a terrible decision. He flicked five or six cards as fast and hard as he could towards the middle of the room. If he was going down he was going down in a blaze of gunfire. In the ten seconds that it took him to flick those cards out, Ashlyn stepped towards him and closed her big hand around his wrist. She squeezed hard and quirked her eyebrow at him to give him one last chance to come to his senses. As they had their staredown, a wail filled the room behind them. Ashlyn turned her head to see Lily’s wide-open mouth as she balled her eyes out, tears quickly streaming down her red face. She had taken one of the last-ditch flicks right below her eye and was screaming from pain and surprise. All the keeper could think of in that split-second was the old Warner Bros cartoons where Elmer Fudd’s or Sylvester’s mouth was wide open and their uvula was wagging around in the way back of their throat. She was shaken from almost giggling when Sydney came bursting into the room.

“What did you do now?!” the coach’s voice boomed and made them all jump, Ashlyn included. Sydney’s face was screwed up in fury as she stomped into the middle of the room, pointing angrily at her eldest child who was still sitting in the recliner with his wrist firmly in Ashlyn’s grasp. “What is the matter with you?!” she yelled again, leaning forward for emphasis. She snatched the cards out of his hand and flung them to the floor in a dramatic flurry, pointing to the door in one smooth move. “Get your butt up those stairs and into your room young man!” her nostrils were flaring and her chest was heaving. 

Ashlyn released the boy and backed up a step to get out of the way. She sat on the couch and James sat with her, still whimpering. Lily jumped up too and joined her Mama on her right side, crawling behind Cristina who was sitting on the edge of the couch. Lily buried her face into Ashlyn’s chest and wailed some more. Only poor Cristina stayed put, motionless. She was frozen in fear and unable to move. It would have been difficult to say whether or not she was even breathing, her body stilled so completely as her eyes watched Sydney’s fury unleashed.

“NOW!!” the coach boomed again, her loudest outburst yet.

Cassius started to get up and Sydney grabbed his arm and roughly helped him to his feet. She had to fight every urge in her body to keep from kicking his butt from behind as he sloped out of the room muttering something she was glad she couldn’t hear. 

“And no electronics! I want them outside your door when I get up there!” she added for good measure as she stomped to the doorway to watch Cassius saunter towards the stairs. “Move it!!”

There was a 15-second pause when the only sound was Sydney’s heavy breathing and Lily’s softening whimpers. But then, Cristina burst into tears and howled, still without moving a muscle. Ashlyn sat up with a jolt, displacing both James and Lily. Sydney turned sharply, shocked to hear the new cry.

“Oh no...” she gasped when she realized what she had done. “Oh honey, I’m so sorry” she dropped to her knees but kept her distance, as she tried to apologize and remind the terrified girl that she wasn’t going to hurt her, that she wasn’t like her own mother had been.

Ashlyn was afraid to touch Cristina. She was sitting next to the girl but behind her and she didn’t want to frighten her even more. Instead, she spoke calmly to the girl, doing her best to reassure her that she was safe and that no harm was going to come her way.

“You’re ok Cris. Everything’s alright. You’re safe...I promise, you’re safe honey.”

Finally, Deb and Sandi poked their heads into the room, both with concerned faces. Sydney backed slowly out of the room, still on her knees, and Deb took her place, understanding instantly what must have happened. The whole house had heard Sydney yelling at her son. Ashlyn gave a questioning look at her mother-in-law.

“Hey baby girl” Deb smiled and got down on her knees with her arms wide open. “Did that scare you, honey? I’ll bet it did. But you’re safe sweetheart. I promise” she inched closer to Cristina trying her best not to wince at the pain she felt shooting up through her bad knee. She was scheduled to have knee replacement surgery later that month and it couldn’t happen too soon. “Come here and let Grandma hold you...”

It was impossible to know what actually did the trick, but finally, after another tense 30 seconds, Cristina leapt forward into Deb’s waiting arms. She held onto her grandma for dear life and continued to cry for another ten minutes. Deb hugged her and rocked her and said sweet, soft things to her as the girl slowly started to calm down again. Ashlyn sat back with the other two kids and found one of Cristina’s favorite shows, hoping the familiarity of the tv might help her somehow. Deb finally had to reposition herself because she couldn’t bear another minute on her knee like that. She swiveled around on her butt and leaned up against the couch, still with her distraught granddaughter in her lap. Gradually, Cristina turned sideways so she could stay in the safe hug but also see the tv as she kept sniffling and trying to catch her breath.

Sydney and Sandi told the returning hikers what had happened and Kyle and Nathan kept everybody out of the family room so Cristina could have a chance to recover. Everybody but the dogs that is. The girl brightened noticeably as soon as Peaches and Bandit and Ziggy and Logan ambled into the room. Persey came in last but went right to Cristina when the girl reached her hand out to her. The sensitive old dog curled up right next to Deb with her head up on Deb’s leg so Cristina could reach her for pats. When it was all said and done, Sydney felt absolutely terrible and was easily the most upset person in the house about the entire episode. And that included Cristina who seemed to recover fairly quickly.

“It still happens sometimes, it’s ok” Kyle tried to reassure the coach. “I know you didn’t mean it. And she’ll know that too.”

“I’d feel like shit too, boo” Ali gave her best friend a hug. “But it could have been any of us.”

“But it wasn’t” Sydney groaned. “I just...now we have to start all over again” she said softly. “It took me 5 years to get here with Cris and I just fucked it all up.”

“Please don’t kill your son on her account” Kyle teased, hoping to lighten the mood. He knew Sydney would never ever forgive herself for terrifying Cristina that afternoon and he genuinely felt sorry for the coach. “It’ll be ok. You’ll see” he hugged her tightly to his big, broad chest. “It might take some time, but you guys’ll be alright. She loves you.”

//

April vacation was that same week and the Kriegers were going to Florida for the last half of the week, staying with Tammye and Carol from Wednesday to Saturday afternoon. Ali and Ashlyn both volunteered for the Boston Marathon again that year, taking their positions at their favorite spot by the first small hill near the starting line out in Hopkinton, MA. They spent Tuesday getting ready for the Florida trip and making sure that Meg was fully prepared to take care of the house and the dogs while they were away. It was the first time Meg had fulfilled that duty and both Ashlyn and Ali were a little nervous. Ken reassured them both that he would check in on her and make sure things were going well. Ali and Ashlyn thanked God for the millionth time for their extensive and awesome village of friends and family that was always so ready to step in and help.

Florida, as usual, was a peaceful escape from the cold New England Spring and the Kriegers all enjoyed it. They stayed at the beach house and tried to remind the kids not to hang on Carol who was recovering from her own joint surgery – she had total left hip replacement surgery at the very end of January that year. Carol was active and in good shape for a 70-year old and her recovery was going pretty well. She had promised herself to get the surgery done before she turned 70 on January 30th that year, and she had just gotten in under the wire. Her procedure was done on the 29th and she stayed in the hospital for 3 days afterwards. She opted for the traditional surgery instead of the less-invasive surgery because the results were still better with the one bigger incision than with the two smaller ones. It was just time and experience though. Once more surgeons completed more of the less-invasive surgeries the numbers would change and improve and, eventually, nobody would ever choose the traditional surgery anymore. But Carol didn’t want to take any chances.

“If the outcomes are better with it then I’m doing it” she had spoken definitively to her surgeon and wife when they were planning their course of action at the end of last year. “I’ll deal with the bigger incision and the additional pain and the longer recovery if the success rates are higher. There’s no question in my mind what I want to do.” 

Carol was in week 11 of her recovery during the Kriegers’ April vacation and she was starting to feel like herself again, finally. Most of her pain was gone and the swelling had eased and she was moving around much better. She had about 3 months of physical therapy and follow-up appointments left, but she felt like a human with four working limbs again. There were still certain things she wasn’t supposed to do for at least 6 months, and sometimes patients were told not to do them for a full year, like not crossing her legs or not bending more than 90 degrees from her waist or even squatting. Anything that put extra strain on the new hip joint was discouraged until all of the muscles had healed up in there and could provide the necessary support to the new ball and socket. The most difficult thing to avoid for Caro when her grandkids were around was pivoting and twisting her new hip. The kids, especially the twins, loved to hang on adults and twist them back and forth. Actually, they loved when the adults did that to them and would often go up to one of their grandparents and hug them and start twisting them from side to side until the grandparent got the hint and reciprocated. It was all Ashlyn’s fault because she taught them to do it by example. Well, that was a real no-no with Caro’s new hip and the keeper almost lost her mind telling Lily repeatedly to stop hanging on her grandmother like that. 

“They don’t mean any harm” Carol had clucked after watching Ashlyn reprimand Lily one afternoon towards the end of their 4-day visit. “I’m not a china doll you know” she smiled, trying to get her point across with her typical southern sugar.

“I know, but I’ve told her at least twenty times this week...” Ashlyn’s voice was still irritated as they both watched the girl try to join Josie and Dodge who were kicking a soccer ball back and forth on the beach just off the deck.

“She’s been hugging me like that all her life, honey. It’s a hard habit to shake” the older woman patted her step-daughter’s knee after sitting down next to her on the comfortable deck furniture. She groaned and winced and caught the pointed look Ashlyn gave her in reply. “Oh alright, maybe I did a little too much this week” she sighed as she rubbed her aching left hip. “But the whole reason I got the damned thing replaced was so I could keep up with them” she nodded towards the beach.

“Here honey” they both looked up to see Tammye with an icepack wrapped in a dishtowel and a concerned frown on her face. “I warned you...”

“Oh I know” Carol rolled her eyes and let her wife put the icepack in place, followed by a pillow to hold it there between Carol’s hip and the arm of the deck couch. “You were right. You’re both right, ok?” she looked from Tammye to Ashlyn and then closed her eyes as she waited patiently for the ice to numb the pain.”

“I don’t want to be right” Tammye said softly, leaning over to kiss Carol’s cheek. “I just want you to be careful. Do you want an Ibuprofen?”

“Yes please” Carol opened her eyes and squeezed Tammye’s arm in appreciation before she went back into the house to get the pill bottle. “Thank you darlin’.”

Ashlyn sat and watched the interaction with a smile on her face. She had come to love Carol immensely over the past 13 years but what she loved even more than the woman herself, was the way Carol had infused Tammye’s life with love and happiness and joy. Ashlyn really never expected to see her mother this happy – she didn’t think it was possible. Not because Tammye was a miserable or unlovable person, but because Tammye had always carried so much guilt and regret around with her that there didn’t seem to be much room for anything else. The keeper never in a million years could have guessed that her mother would find someone who loved her the way Carol so obviously did. Ashlyn knew her mother loved Carol back just as deeply, even though it wasn’t as easy to see all the time. The keeper’s thoughts that afternoon were full of relief and gratitude that her mom and her step-mom had each other to help as they faced their own aging challenges. Tammye was still strong and had been able to help Carol move around the house, she just couldn’t always use her hands to do it. She had learned to use the heels of her palms when her fingers were too painful to be of any use. Her bunions on her feet were still painful and both Carol and Ashlyn were trying to convince her to have them removed. Tammye was too afraid of the painful surgery not working so she refused to seriously consider it. Ali was staunchly in her mother-in-law’s corner on this one. She felt the same way about having a hysterectomy and then still getting ovarian cancer afterwards. There were no guarantees and it wasn’t worth it to her to go through the pain of surgery and recovery, only to have the damn thing you were trying to fix or avoid happen anyway.

“Carol seems good” Ali had said to her wife the first night of their visit as they cuddled into the bed in the basement bedroom they always occupied when they were there. “It’s kinda weird to see her moving so much slower than usual, but she seems good. They both do.”

“Yeah, I think so too” Ashlyn agreed as she opened her left arm and let her wife curl into her side before moving her arm back in place and giving the brunette’s back and ass a couple of loving pats. “It’s weird though because she’s always moving around so much and doing things...I mean before” she clarified. “Now she’s definitely moving slower but I think that’s good anyway. She does too much sometimes I think, even before her new hip.”

“I don’t know if she knows how to do the half-speed thing though” Ali chuckled as she wrapped her arm and leg across her keeper’s body, humming contentedly as she snuggled into her even further. “I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?”

It was quiet for a full minute and the brunette could sense her wife’s mind working hard on something. She waited another minute, caressing Ashlyn’s shoulder and hip and nuzzling her forehead into her neck to make sure she knew she was still awake and ready to listen to whatever was going on with her.

“You’re thinking hard about something” Ali finally tilted her head up and kissed her wife’s jaw, taking an extra few seconds to nuzzle her nose under Ashlyn’s chin too. “Tell me, babe” her voice was soft and tender.

“Oh I don’t know” Ashlyn exhaled and wrapped both arms around her wife as a small, hopeful smile crept onto her lips. “We’re gonna get that old someday, as hard as it is to picture that...I mean, I just can’t see what we look like at 70” she chuckled, still holding Ali with both arms.

“I know” the brunette giggled. “I still think I’m 30” she giggled again, “and you still look like you’re 30, that’s for damned sure.”

“Aw, you’re very sweet baby, but I’m not fishing for compliments” Ashlyn pressed a kiss into the brunette’s head.

Ali pulled her head back and waited for her wife to give her a real kiss. After they separated, both giggling softly, Ashlyn continued what she was trying to say.

“As hard as it is to picture us that old...” she paused for a couple of seconds to make sure she got the words right, “it makes me crazy happy knowing that we’ll be there for each other like that...like my mom and Carol. You know?”

“Of course we’ll take care of each other honey, did you doubt that?” Ali’s voice wasn’t accusatory, just curious. 

She reached for her wife’s hand and intertwined their fingers, resting both hands on Ashlyn’s chest where they slowly rubbed their thumbs together and played with each other’s fingers. 

“No, I didn’t doubt it...not really, but seeing them together tonight just got me thinking I guess. It sort of painted a picture for me and helped me see what we might look like” she shrugged. “I don’t know. It sounds kinda dumb, but...I’m looking forward to taking care of you after you have your hip replaced” she grinned.

“Why am I the one getting my hip replaced?” Ali feigned offense as she poked her wife in the chest a couple of times and then giggled some more.

“Ow, hey now, quit it” Ashlyn laughed softly and held the brunette’s hand firmly in her own to stop the poking. “I guess because you’re always taking care of me and the kids and everybody else. It just makes sense that your body will finally have to rest and maybe have something replaced when we’re 70. I don’t know” she shrugged again and rolled her eyes self-consciously. “It’s silly, I know. But it made me happy to think about it.”

“It’s not silly, it’s sweet” Ali pulled their hands to her mouth and kissed Ashlyn’s fingers. “And you’re the absolute sweetest wife in the whole world and I love you so much” the brunette leaned up for another kiss, humming into it once their lips pressed together. “The...absolute...sweetest...” she punctuated each word again with another kiss and finished with the brightest smile she had, even at the late hour. “And you can take care of me anytime, babe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NWSL schedule is supposed to come out tomorrow! I can't wait!!


	21. Drew & the History Report

They returned home from April vacation to another flurry of busy activities, appointments, and events. The four families got together to celebrate Evan Cross’ 11th birthday. The Breakers had their annual meet and greet with the season ticket holders and VIPs and Ashlyn continued to be a big draw at that event. She had gone from being the most popular player to emceeing the event and giving a speech as part of the ownership group. It was a big change but it was starting to feel more natural to the keeper all the time. Ali went and had her second ultrasound of the year and willed herself not to let it freak her out. She was on a long string of good results and she knew her luck would run out soon – it was just how it worked. She hoped that she would be able to handle whatever questionable result came up, and handle it better than she had the last couple of times. She hoped that practice truly did make perfect.

And in the middle of all of that, Deb and Mike Christopher flew up to their Manchester condo so that she could have her right knee replaced at the New England Baptist Hospital in Boston – one of the best orthopedic hospitals in the country. Deb made decisions very similar to the ones Carol had made about her hip. Deb chose the traditional method for the same reasons – better outcomes and fewer complications. Yes, the incision was bigger and the surgery more invasive but the results spoke for themselves. She was hoping to be able to have the total knee replacement surgery done as an outpatient but at the last minute her doctor decided that she wanted the almost 71-year old to stay in the hospital for at least one night, just to be safe. Deb didn’t put up a fuss. If the doctor thought it was best, then she would do it. 

Deb had stayed active over the years even though she had put on some extra weight and her recovery was expected to go well and be fairly routine. Mike was ready to take her home on the second day and take care of her. Ali, of course, wasn’t going to rely only on her step-father at a time like this. The brunette went and checked on her mother every day, either stopping on her way to or home from work. Sometimes she’d bring one or two of the kids to check on Grandma too. Deb objected to all the attention at first but then she just settled into it and let both Ali and Ashlyn take care of her. Part of her rehab was walking on her new knee and that required 30-minute excursions at least twice a day. Some portion of the young Krieger family joined her at least once a day and it turned out to be the highlight of the patient’s day. Sometimes it was just Ali. Sometimes it was just Ashlyn, early in the afternoon before she had to pick the kids up from school. Whoever it was, was always very welcome at the condo. Ali and Ashlyn joked with each other about how relieved Mike always was to see them.

Deb came to the big old house frequently too. She got bored to death of her condo pretty quickly and she also wanted to use the stationary bike in the basement as part of her rehab program. At first the steep basement steps were a problem for her new knee so they helped her down to the basement through the bulkhead at the back left corner of the house instead. 6 steps was better than 12. She couldn’t drive for 6 weeks but Mike seemed happy enough to cart her around whenever she needed to get out of the condo. Just as Carol had done, only without so many watchful eyes on her, Deb graduated from using a walker to a cane in just a few weeks. The biggest problem was keeping her in a lower gear during the busy month of May with so many birthdays and Mother’s Day and Memorial Day celebrations too. 

“Mom, you’ve been helping us do all of this every single May since Drew was born” Ali clucked at her mother the day before the twins’ 8th birthday party that May. “I love having you here and I can always use your brain, but that’s all you get to help with this year. Just your brain. Nothing physical and I mean it” she quirked her eyebrow at her mother who was just smiling back at her in reply. “I see that face” Ali couldn’t help but chuckle at her mother. “That face that says you’re gonna do whatever the hell you feel like doing” she rolled her eyes and sighed. “But I’m serious. I’ll get Ash and we’ll take your butt right back home if you...”

“Alright, alright” Deb groaned from her seat at the small 2-person table in the kitchen. “I’ll behave. Scout’s honor” she lifted her hand up and gave her daughter a serious look to reassure her.

“Mom, I don’t know how to make this work” Drew walked into the kitchen with a loose-leaf notebook that was open and full of wrinkled pages that had been typed on and written on and doodled on. “Hi Grandma” he brightened when he saw Deb and walked to her to give her a hug. He pulled back quickly, halfway through the hug, when he remembered her knee.

“Oh you’re ok sweet boy” Deb hugged him again. “Thank you for remembering my knee though.”

“Does it hurt still?”

“It does sometimes, but sometimes it feels really good – a lot better than it did before the surgery” Grandma answered honestly. “I’m glad I had it done, and when I get through with all my rehab it’ll feel better than ever.”

“What’s the problem with this” Ali joined them, standing across the table from Drew, one of them on each side of Deb, and pointed at what she knew was his report binder on the big old house for his huge history project that was due in just a few weeks. “Did you finish the section on the nuns like we talked about last weekend?”

“Ummm...” Drew stammered and dropped his eyes. “That’s what I wanted to know” he nodded and gave his mother a sheepish look.

“Seriously Drew?” Ali’s face registered genuine surprise. “You couldn’t remember that was the next step? This is what I mean by taking notes. If you write down your assignments then you don’t have to try and remember them all. You can see them on your to-do list.”

“Yeah, I know...I just forgot to write it down” he laughed. “That’s kinda funny” he laughed again and Ali couldn’t help but smile at her boy being goofy and cute, even in his embarrassment.

“What do you need to do next?” Deb asked as she pulled the open binder towards her so she could see what was written there.

Drew looked quickly at Ali who just shook her head and gave him a half-exasperated, half-amused look that he knew wasn’t ideal.

“Ummm, I have to write down the part about the nuns next” he replied to his Grandma, sounding pretty confident in himself. He would be turning 12 years old at the end of the month but sometimes he seemed to revert back to a cute 9-year old when he felt carefree and comfortable and silly.

“Can I help you with that?” Deb looked from Drew to Ali and then back to Drew again. “I have time and your mom won’t let me do anything else...”

“That’s a great idea” Ali enthused. “Why don’t you run the whole thing by Grandma, tell her all about it and ask her for her opinion on it. Then she can help you with the section on the nuns and maybe you can finally decide what order you want to do the other sections.”

“You wanna hear about my history project?” he looked at Deb, slightly shocked.

“I really do” she smiled back at him and the amount of love and affection in her face made him smile and his cheeks blush just a bit.

Ali went about her business in the kitchen, getting ready to make the twins’ #8 shaped birthday cakes, but felt her heart swell as she surreptitiously watched her son help her mother up out of the chair. Deb could have done it by herself, with her cane, but she let Drew help her, touched again by his care and concern for her. They relocated to the couch in the family room and got comfortable with the binder on their laps as they sat side by side together. Persey wagged her tail in greeting from her place already on the far end of the couch.

“So we already knew about the house and Captain Leighton, who built it for his family” Deb recalled the facts that were part of the Krieger family lore by then. “And we know the house went from his son?” she hesitated, unsure of which generation of Leightons had lost the house, “to the government?”

“No, the Captain’s grandson” Drew corrected and turned several pages to point to the family tree he had drawn. “He’s the one who lost the house.”

“Right, right” Deb nodded. “James Jr was the one” she clucked and shook her head as she looked at the small black & white photo they had found and included on the family tree. “He’s not my favorite Leighton” she deadpanned and then chuckled.

“Me either” Drew laughed.

“So the government seized the house...”

“In 1940” Drew replied, really getting into the facts and dates now. It was wonderful to see his almost 12-year old brain working so quickly and effortlessly. “World War II had just started at the end of 1939 and the US Navy used the house for a headquarters for the East Coast defense” he looked up proudly at his grandmother. “Oh, and Admiral King lived here too” his eyes lit up. “He was in charge of the US Atlantic Fleet and then he got promoted to be in charge of the whole US Fleet and had to move to Washington DC. The next Admiral who lived here was Admiral Ingersoll. He lived here the longest, for...” the boy checked the notes under the picture of Admiral Ingersoll, “about 3 years. Then Admiral Ingram took over command of the Atlantic Fleet and moved in.”

“So, whichever Admiral was in charge of the Atlantic Fleet lived here?” Deb asked, loving the new information she was learning about the house. “Is that how it worked?”

“Yep” Drew nodded again. “Admiral Ingram was the last one though. After the war ended they didn’t need it so much” he shrugged.

“And that’s when it turned into the Home for Wayward Girls” Deb turned a few pages in the binder, looking for the story of the nuns who ran the Home for 20 years.

“Yeah, they were mostly good nuns” Drew helped her find the right page, impatiently flipping the laminated pages back and forth.

“Be careful now” Deb chuckled. “Not all the pages are laminated yet, you don’t want to rip them. Take it easy.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot” he giggled and let his grandma pull him into her for a side hug. 

“So tell me about the nuns” she smiled as she kissed his head and released him.

The Home for Wayward Girls had opened in January of 1946, just a few short months after the navy had moved out of the big old house after World War II had officially ended in September of 1945. It took the Navy some time to pack up everything they had stored there during their 5-year occupation. Drew and the whole family were thrilled to learn about the pivotal role the house had played in the success of US Naval operations in the Atlantic during the war. Not everybody could claim that about their home, not even in Gloucester. Ashlyn had thought it was cool enough to have one Admiral living in the house back when she and Ali had met with the genealogist in early 2019. To find out there had actually been three was incredible to her. 

The keeper had been a big help to Drew as he researched the house and the Captain that year. They went to the library and to the Shipbuilders Museum in nearby Essex, MA. Ashlyn told her son everything she could remember about the ship building industry from her own grandfather and wished she had paid more attention to him when she had been a girl. It was amazing to watch Drew’s face as he started to put the pieces of his family history together. Both Ashlyn and Ali had talked often about the history of the house and the framed photographs that Ali had given to Ashlyn before they were even a couple still hung in the mudroom. But kids didn’t always pay attention. They heard bits and pieces from time to time and it really was like a giant jigsaw puzzle in their brains and memories. Finally, after over 11 years of telling Drew about her grandfather the shipbuilder and sailmaker and about Captain Leighton and all the good things he had done for the fishing community in Gloucester and Cape Ann, Ashlyn watched his face change as the puzzle pieces began to click into place for him.

“So, the dining room table, our dining room table” Drew clarified with wide eyes and a gaping mouth, “is made from the boards of ships that your grandpa built?!”

“Well, we don’t know exactly which ships the salvaged wood came from” Ashlyn answered honestly as they walked through the museum one afternoon in March. 

It was a big old warehouse-style building on an oceanside pier just off of the main street that went through Essex, MA and it looked old and run-down on the outside. Sea-worn wood shingles covered the building and it looked like it could be as old as many of the artifacts inside of it.

“But it could be, right?” he asked hopefully, watching his mother’s face closely to see if she was going to pull his leg or give him the truth.

“It absolutely could be” she nodded and grinned. “Personally, I believe some of the boards in our dining room table came from ships built in Gloucester, MA and that means there’s a very good chance that your great-grandfather’s hands touched them and shaped them and planed them and sanded them and painted them.”

Drew walked beside her in mute amazement for several minutes while Ashlyn enjoyed one of her most favorite parenting moments ever.

“So, if you think about it, it’s kinda like great-grandpa John is with us when we’re at that table” the boy finally said, almost breathless at the realization.

“It sure is bud” the keeper grinned again and put her arm around his shoulder as they continued walking through the museum. “It sure is.”

Ali had been a big help to Drew as he researched the nuns who ran the Home for Wayward Girls. She had started the research herself back in 2019 when she and Ashlyn had first learned about the history of the house. She had every intention of finding out exactly what kind of nuns had lived under her roof and what kind of wayward girls stayed in their care there. But then, three months later, she gave birth to Drew and her free time was never the same again. It had been almost 12 years and the brunette thought about the unknown story of the nuns and the girls at least three or four times a year. It always ended the same way though – with the hopeful promise to try harder to accomplish that goal the next year. 

When Ali found out about Drew’s history project she jumped at the chance to help him and, hopefully, fulfill her own long-standing dream. It was difficult research to do because they weren’t looking for anybody by name. They didn’t even know the official name of the place, other than the genealogist’s description of it as a Home for Wayward Girls. It was Kayla’s mom Pam who finally got them pointed in the right direction. Ali and Drew were racing home to Gloucester after a visit to the New England Historic Genealogical Society in Boston so they could pick up Josie from Kayla’s house. Ali looked a bit frazzled and Pam inquired about what the problem might be. She certainly didn’t expect it to be genealogy related but listened patiently as the brunette gave the Reader’s Digest version of the frustrating situation.

“They were probably Catholic, not Protestant” Pam offered as she walked Ali and Josie to the minivan in her driveway. “If you’re looking for Protestant nuns that might be part of the problem.”

“What makes you think they were Catholic?” Ali asked, stunned by the idea and surprised that nobody had suggested it before that moment. “I thought the Protestants were the majority here back then?”

“Gloucester was a real melting pot, especially back then” Pam continued to explain something that Ali already knew but had somehow overlooked. “Most of the fishermen, especially the Portuguese, were Catholic. At least that’s what my mom always used to say” she shrugged.

“Oh Pam I could kiss you!” Ali grinned. “But I won’t, don’t worry” they both laughed. “You’re a genius!”

Once they started researching Catholic nuns in Gloucester in 1946 they made much more progress. Before too long, Ali and Drew had discovered that the nuns were followers of St Andre, although at the time he was known as Brother Andre. He didn’t become a Saint until 2010, some 73 years after his death. 

“So who was Brother Andre?” Deb asked Drew that May afternoon as she squinted at the picture of ‘Brother Andre’s Home for Women and Children’ in her hand.

“Ummm...let’s see...” he stalled as he read his mother’s handwriting on the note cards. “Oh yeah, he was from Canada. He was French Canadian and he built a big church in Montreal for Saint Joseph” he took a big breath as he read some more notes. “He was famous for curing a lot of sick people up in Canada but some people thought he was a fake.”

“Interesting” Deb murmured as she read the same notes her grandson was looking at. She had a flashback to helping Ali with her schoolwork when she had been younger, and smiled. “So how did he get all the way down here from Montreal?”

“He never did. But the nuns did” Drew explained as they both looked through photocopies and printouts of information about the home that had occupied the big old house from January 1946 to October 1966.

“They started up in Maine” Ali came in and sat with them for a few minutes, unable to resist the conversation. “Do you want some ice for your knee?” she asked her mother. “We’ve always got a few bags of frozen peas, just for this reason” she chuckled.

“No I’m good honey. Thank you” Deb patted her daughter’s arm that stretched out along the back of the couch towards her. “But tell me more about these French Canadian sisters who used to live here.”

Ali went on, with Drew’s help, to tell the story of how the Servants of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, also known as the Good Shepherd Sisters of Quebec, had migrated down from Maine to Cape Ann in the early 1940s. They were devout Catholics and followers of Brother Andre and they specialized in helping mothers and children. The mission statement of the organization that was still in existence up in Biddeford, ME was the same as it had been back in 1946 in Gloucester, MA – ‘To serve women and children in need; to strengthen and restore child and family life; to promote the individual dignity of each person in need.’

“So they took in young pregnant women” Deb cocked her eyebrow at her daughter, not sure how much her grandson knew about unwanted teen pregnancy just yet.

“Yep” Drew nodded, surprising both women. “They helped them until they had their babies and took care of them and the babies and then they even helped the babies get adopted” he said proudly, knowing he had nailed that particular note card.

“And then...?” Deb asked and watched while Drew frowned and looked for more note cards to help him.

“Then the women went back to their families” Ali answered, understanding what her mother was getting at and feeling sorry for those poor wayward girls too.

The part of the story that wouldn’t make it into the 6th grade history report was that these young pregnant girls had very little say in any part of their lives while they were pregnant. Their families either sent them to a home to give birth out of the public eye of their own community, or their families disowned them altogether and the girls found their way to a home like Brother Andre’s that would take them in. There wasn’t anything pretty about it. At all. And often times, the girls had already suffered some sort of abuse and or rape which resulted in the pregnancy in the first place. The underbelly of the story was as sordid as always, despite the involvement of the benevolent and seemingly kind Good Shepherd Sisters of Quebec.

“But they were nice to the girls” Drew added after a minute of thought. “The nuns. Right mom?”

Ali had always been nervous to learn the truth about the nuns who had lived in the big old house for 20 years. Perhaps that was part of the reason why she never got around to doing the research for all those years. She wanted to know the story...but she was terrified that it would be so horrible that she wouldn’t be able to feel the same way about the house ever again. Luckily, they hadn’t found any evidence of cruelty or abuse at Brother Andre’s Home for Wayward Girls. The brunette was sure that everything wasn’t all sunshine and roses though. She knew that life would have been very rough for those pregnant girls and probably for the nuns as well. She knew that the girls had to work to earn their keep, for as long as they possibly could up until they gave birth. She knew that some of them must have tried to rebel and that the rebellion would have been quashed by strict nuns and corporal punishment. It all made her slightly sick to her stomach when she thought too much about it. But, for all the records and reports that they had read about the Home, almost all of the girls talked about their stay there as a happy enough time. The girls who had been disowned by their families were appropriately thankful to even have a place to live and found it more than fair that they had to work hard to keep their place there. When Ali thought hard about it, she decided that the nuns must have been mostly good nuns or else there would have been many more accounts of them being mean and awful. One of the documents that had helped cement the brunette’s feeling about it was an article from the Boston Globe from the early 50s. It was a story about the Home and the unique brand of tough but loving care that the Good Shepherd Sisters of Quebec provided the girls and children. It even included a first-hand account from one of the girls herself. The only negative thing written about Brother Andre’s Home for Wayward Girls in that article was that the nuns were trying to teach the girls French. If that was the worst thing they did then Ali was ok with the Good Shepherd Sisters of Quebec. She felt confident and comfortable describing the nuns who used to live in the big old house as ‘good nuns’.

“Yes they were honey” she answered her son’s question and ran her hand through the thick dark hair at the back of his head as he sat next to her on the couch with a satisfied smile on his face. “Yes they were.” 

//

Drew was an interesting kid. As he got older he became more himself but he kept much of it guarded and private. He was smart but not brilliant. He was funny but not the life of the party. He was kind and considerate but not usually with his siblings. He was still the thoughtful boy he had been since he was little, and that tendency to overthink things would become a challenge for him to deal with for the rest of his life. His mothers knew him better than anybody but even they wondered about what was going on with him as he moved closer and closer to puberty and young adulthood. They were both so proud of him and all he had achieved and overcome in his young life so far, but they wanted him to stop growing up at the same time so they could hold onto him a while longer.

One Sunday afternoon earlier that Spring, Ali stood in the basement catching her breath after finishing her workout, right where the gym half of the room met the playroom half. She watched Drew playing the current version of Destiny as she drained her water bottle. He had his headphones on and was unaware of his mother’s presence as he mowed down a room full of opposition who were guarding an objective in the game. Ali watched him move to the next objective after that and smiled when he took his time and fully scoped out the area before engaging the enemy. After successfully securing that objective he moved on to the next. The keeper noticed that he was playing a bit more cautiously now. He wasn’t just taking his time and being methodical about his plan of attack, he was stalling. Sure enough, the prolonged delay allowed the defenders to go on the offensive and eliminate Drew and the rest of his team before he had fully engaged. Ali frowned and sat on the arm of the chair as she drank more water, watching Drew and his team start over again. She watched them capture the same two objectives and then fail to take the third one again and again. After the fourth failed attempt she finally spoke up, unable to watch her son make the same mistake for a fifth time.

“You’ve got the grenade launcher, why aren’t you using it?” she reached over with her leg and poked his knee with her foot to get his attention.

“What?” he quickly pulled the headphone off of one ear, hit the mute button, and glanced at her, his face full of frustration and impatience. 

“Use your grenade launcher” she repeated loudly so he could hear her over the game and chat noise still filling his other ear. “What are you waiting for?”

“I don’t want to” he shook his head, eyes on the game as he and his team failed again.

Ali sighed and told herself to be patient with him as he and his team started over. Again. When they got to the third objective, again, the one they couldn’t manage to get past, she tried again.

“You could clear that room with two shots from your grenade launcher. Why aren’t you using it?”

“I’m saving it.”

“Saving it? For what?” her face scrunched up as if she had tasted something horrible. “There’s no sense saving it if you die here every single time.”

“I don’t wanna waste it...” he shook his head and furrowed his brow as his team took heavy fire.

“D, listen” she sat next to him, both of their eyes still on the game. Her hand was on his back and she felt him relax a bit at her touch. “There is no perfect time to use it. Trust me, I know” she chuckled and then groaned when his team failed again. “I’m giving you excellent advice here so listen up” she tried to cheer him up while dropping knowledge, valuable knowledge that she herself had learned the hard way. She felt like she owed it to him because she knew he had inherited her bent towards perfectionism and she felt terrible about it. “There’s no such thing as perfection. There will never be a perfect time to use that grenade launcher. So just use it. Use it when you need it. Use it even if you only get a couple of kills with it instead of the 5 or 6 that you think you should get with it. Trust me on this buddy. It’s useless if you never use it. Don’t let it go to waste.”

He never acknowledged her words but as she walked up the basement stairs a few minutes later she heard the distinctive boom of grenade fire and then a whoop of excitement from her son.

“Yesss! We did it boys! Finally!!” his elated voice filled her ears.

“Atta boy” she said quietly, proud smile on her face.

//

“Well I don’t know what to tell you, sissy” Kyle plopped down onto the nook banquette seat with a loud sigh and a frown on his face. “But he won’t talk to me about it. That’s for sure.”

“Nothing?” she raised her eyebrows at her brother, keeping her voice low and her eyes on the rest of the room to make sure they were alone. “He didn’t tell you...anything?”

It was the night of the twins’ 8th birthday party and although the kids, including Edgar and Cristina, were all in bed, she could hear occasional footsteps from the second floor and knew not everyone was where they were supposed to be just yet. Deb, Ashlyn, Meg, and Nathan were in the front living room and Ali didn’t want to have this conversation in front of them either. 

“Nope” Kyle popped the P and shook his head slowly as he watched his sister folding clean laundry on the nook table.

“Damn” she frowned. “I was really hoping...I don’t know” she sighed. “I just feel like it’s time for him to have a man in his life” she let her hands fall to the table and rest there for a minute. “For the first time ever, I feel like he needs a dad” she lifted sad, cinnamon eyes up to meet her brother’s concerned ones. “And I don’t know what to do.”

Drew had stopped talking to his moms about his body just that Spring. He hadn’t shown too many signs of puberty, but enough that both Ashlyn and Ali were finding it difficult to get him to open up about much of anything having to do with the physical changes he was starting to go through. They both knew Drew was getting guidance from Sam Machado and they were grateful for that. He wouldn’t have been their first choice but he certainly appeared to be Drew’s. Dom and Ryan were always great with both Drew and Dodge and the two moms knew either man would help their sons in any way that they could. The same could be said for both Koty and Tanner Wild. Koty was the uncle they saw the most of and he was still Josie’s favorite, bar none. Tanner was probably the most popular. He was the youngest and he was a professional soccer player, which elevated him to near-God status in the Krieger household. Ken Krieger was around more than any other man in their lives and Drew had a strong relationship with him. But Ali was worried that her 12-year old son wouldn’t be brave enough to talk to his grandfather about sex and his changing body. So, she turned to her brother for assistance and apparently he had come up empty.

“He’s fine sis” Kyle tried to reassure her when he saw how worried she was about the boy. “I’ve never been his favorite anyway” he shrugged and then busied himself with folding dishtowels to try and hide his hurt feelings. “Maybe Ryan or Dom...”

“He loves you BB” Ali reached over and squeezed his forearm. “And I sent you on a suicide mission anyway” she chuckled. “He’s so private about regular stuff, it makes total sense that he’s going to shut us all out about...this.”

“You’re right, I know” he looked up sheepishly at her. They smiled softly at each other and then he got back to folding. “I just told him that I was always here if he needed me for anything. Anything. No questions asked, just answers or whatever.”

“Good” she squeezed his arm again and then patted it. “Thank you” they shared another quick smile and then she giggled. “Now gimme these towels, you’re doing it all wrong.”

They laughed together and he teased her about her strict folding requirements. They joked for several minutes and talked about the party and how cute both Dodge and Lily had been for most of the day. Ali yawned a few times and when she was done with the laundry Kyle knew she would go up and fall into bed, exhausted. As he stood up, ready to drive Deb back to her condo, he hugged his sister tightly. Just as he was about to release her he spoke.

“You know he’s gay, right?”

“What?” Ali pulled back and gave her brother a quizzical look.

“Drew. You know he’s...”

“No. I don’t know that” Ali shook her head as they separated. Her head spun a little as her emotions swirled. “Do you?”

“He hasn’t said anything to me, or Nate either” Kyle’s voice was soft, realizing he had stunned his sister with his revelation. “But...”

“Then we don’t know for sure” Ali cut him off, her voice thin and anxious.

“Well, no, but...”

“We don’t know then” she repeated, stronger this time, as if she was starting to believe it herself.

“You sound like you have a problem with it” Kyle’s whole face hardened and he crossed his arms and fixed his sister with a careful eye. 

“No I don’t have a problem with it” she scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous” she hissed, wondering why she was reacting the way she was even as she defended herself.

They stood there for a minute, both trying to figure out what to say next.

“Ok, well I’m sorry if I sprang that on you” Kyle finally went first, genuinely regretting the upset he had caused his sister. “But I thought you must have at least suspected it, no?”

“Oh, I don’t know” Ali sighed and rubbed her face with both hands. “We’ve talked about it, Ash and I, but we’re really not sure. How can you be so sure?”

“I don’t know” Kyle shrugged again. “Just like mom just knew with me I guess.”

They were quiet again as Ali regained her composure. Ashlyn and Nathan came into the kitchen with the dirty cups and glasses from the front living room, chuckling along the way. 

“Kyle, we’ve gotta drive your mom home” Nathan called out from the kitchen sink. “She’s ready to go.”

“Everything ok?” Ashlyn asked as she poked her head into the family room.

“Yeah, we’re good” Kyle smiled over his shoulder. “Right Sis?” he gave Ali another quick hug.

“Yeah,” she smiled up at him, telling him the truth and meaning it. “We’re good.” 

The topic of Drew’s sexuality had come up before and both Ashlyn and Ali had agreed that there was a good chance that he was gay. They didn’t care one way or the other – they would love him no matter what. But they also agreed that they were going to let him come to them when he was ready with it – whatever it was. They knew their son, even the newer version of their boy was shy and reserved and would probably die of embarrassment if they came right out and asked him if he was gay. But having Kyle identify it so clearly and matter-of-factly made the brunette rethink their plan. She was worried about Drew’s comfort and peace of mind. That was the reason they were letting him take his time in the first place. But what if he was suffering as he tried to figure out his sexuality? What if the stomach aches and the discomfort in the spotlight were part of a bigger issue for the boy? What if he was struggling with being gay the way Kyle had struggled when he had been his age? Kyle’s self-destructive journey through addiction and back had begun, by his own admission, with his difficulty accepting his own sexuality. Ali didn’t want that for her son. She would do anything to help him see his own worth, whether he was gay or not. She would talk to Ashlyn and they would decide what they wanted to do, what they needed to do, for Drew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brother Andre and his followers were real. The admirals were real and the dates are all accurate. The only made up part about that story is the part the big old house played in all of it. Homes for Wayward Girls existed as described here, and oftentimes in conditions that were much much worse.


	22. Tattoos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning towards the end

“You have your college number over the Nittany Lion, right?”

It always surprised Ali how much of her body the kids had seen. She wasn’t a complete prude, but she did value her privacy more than Ashlyn did and she made efforts to get changed behind closed bedroom doors. But she knew all of the kids had seen her naked several times over the years. It was just a matter of how much they had been paying attention. The brunette was used to her children talking about and asking about the tattoos that were on her arm and her side. Everybody saw those, a lot, especially the Liebe tattoo on her left forearm. The kids had all spent hours and maybe days of their young lives tracing their tiny fingers across those five letters as they sat in their Mommy’s lap. But the Penn State tattoo and the cresting wave tattoo were in a much more private and less-visible area of her body and they didn’t come up in discussion very much. In the summertime when she was wearing bathing suits a lot, one or the other of them would occasionally be seen around her bikini line but even then they were fairly subtle and small. Her tattoos, in general, were often overlooked by the kids because they much preferred the big, bold artwork on their Mama’s body instead.

“Right” she nodded and smiled at Meg who seemed nervous about something. “Nittany Lion’s head in a circle...”

“Like a soccer ball” Meg nodded. “Did you all do it, like as a team?”

“No” Ali turned to look at Meg who was sitting next to her on the couch in the family room. “Some of us got them after our freshman year, the girls who were really serious, the girls who were starting and getting real playing time” she replied slowly, bringing her eyes back to the tv that wasn’t holding either of their interest that March evening. Meg had one more load of laundry in the dryer and then she would be gone back to Boston and her dorm. “Why?”

“Oh, no reason” Meg shrugged unconvincingly, her knee bouncing anxiously as she waited what felt like an eternity and she hoped was a long enough amount of time to keep Ali’s suspicions at bay. “Some of the girls are thinking about getting one, that’s all.”

Ali tried not to smile. It was wild reliving her own college soccer experience through Meg. It made her feel ancient and young again, all at the same time.

“You should talk to Ashlyn. She can set you up with Naomi, or give you some good tattoo advice” the brunette offered diplomatically. She knew it sometimes hurt her wife’s feelings when Meg talked to Ali about big things in her life before talking to the keeper first.

“I already did. She said I should talk to you.”

“Really?” Ali looked sideways and saw a hopeful look on the college freshman’s face.

“Yeah, she ummm...she said she didn’t really like ‘group tattoos’” Meg used air quotes and rolled her eyes as she spoke.

“Did she now?” Ali quirked her eyebrow at the news. 

She knew her wife felt strongly about tattoos being unique and meaningful and immensely personal. But it didn’t feel good to have Ashlyn turn up her nose at ‘group tattoos’ like Ali’s college soccer one. 

“Oh, ummm...” Meg realized her mistake and scrambled to recover.

“Relax” Ali chuckled. “I’ll talk to her later about that” she nodded knowingly at the redhead, who giggled. “What would you like to know?”

They talked for a while about the pros and cons of tattoos in general, about size and location, about design and meaning, and finally about the nitty gritty.

“How bad does it hurt?”

“Well, it depends on where you’re getting it and how big it is” the brunette explained. “Did Ash tell you any of this?”

“Not really, she just said it was...” she paused to get the words right...”exquisite agony.”

“Not very helpful, was she?” Ali chuckled again and Meg joined her. “Ok, the one on my side hurt the most...”

“Because it was the biggest” Meg nodded.

“Partly, yes. But also because it’s right over my ribs and that’s when they’re most painful – when they’re right over the bone.”

“Yeah, one of the girls already has one on her ankle and she says it killed.”

“That’s why” Ali smiled. “This one would have been the least painful” she put her hand on her Liebe tattoo, “but it was big, the letters were big with lots of ink so it hurt about the same amount as the smaller ones near my hips.”

“The Penn State one?” Meg asked more than said.

“And the wave one” Ali patted her lap, inside her left hip.

“Oh yeah, I always forget about that one” Meg blushed a little.

“So where are you thinking, for yours?” Ali shifted the conversation back to Meg and her potential first tattoo.

“I think I want it on the side of my hip. That way I can keep it...private, if I want to. You know, the side of my bikini will cover it – if I want it to” she grinned.

“Aha” Ali giggled. “High-cut bikini when you want to show it off, eh?”

“Yeah, something like that” Meg blushed and giggled too. 

“Going with the team logo or something else?”

“MmmHmm, BC letters and colors with the eagle, in flight, and my number in her talons” she smiled proudly and Ali could tell the redhead had been planning this for a long time, probably since soccer season had started back in August.

“I love that your eagle is a she” Ali laughed and pumped her fist. “That’s awesome.”

“Well, nobody really knows, but we just assumed” Meg smirked. She took a beat and chewed her lip for a second. “You don’t think I should have a soccer ball in her talons instead, do you?”

“Do you want a soccer ball in there?” Ali watched Meg consider the question. “If you really want it you can have your number on the soccer ball and then the soccer ball in the talons, combine the two things.”

“Ooooh, how about a shredded ball?” the redhead’s eyebrows went up in excitement at the idea. “Maybe there’s enough of it left though, for my number too?”

“Eh, I love the shredded ball idea, but it might look like you got shredded if your number’s on it. What do you think?”

“Yeah, I don’t want that” she shook her head and frowned. “Can I put the number on the eagle instead? Will that look stupid?”

“Like put a jersey on the eagle?” Ali asked, trying not to dismiss the bad idea immediately.

“God, no” Meg shook her head quickly. “Maybe just have the 22 on her body somewhere, like her chest or her side near the open wing...”

“Much better. Yes. You can work with Naomi, or whoever, and see where it looks best” she nodded. “But use somebody good. Don’t cheap out on that. It’s not worth it.” They were quiet for a few seconds. “So 22 huh?” Ali beamed when she caught Meg’s eye. The redhead grinned back at her.

“Yeah, of course. It’s my number.”

//

Ashlyn had continued to add ink to her body over the years. She added Meg’s name to the bowsprit of the Mary Sarah in early 2026, correcting the omission that she still sometimes felt guilty about – even 5 years later. In the summer of 2026, flush from the success of her first garden planting and harvesting experience, the keeper had a pair of laurel leaves tattooed in a circle around the base of her neck, on her collarbone, in black ink. The two laurel leaves curved like that was also referred to as a laurel wreath and called to mind the crowns that adorned Olympic champions’ heads back in ancient Greece. They still placed laurel wreaths on the heads of the Boston Marathon winners to that very day. 

“It represents achievement and perfection. In history, the laurel wreath symbolizes nobility, triumph, and victory” Ashlyn explained to her wife as Ali moisturized the fresh ink that was still healing. “But it’s not that I think I’m perfect” the keeper added quickly. “It’s what I strive for. It’s motivation.”

“But it can also be in recognition of all that you’ve already accomplished too, right?” the brunette looked adoringly at her beloved keeper. “I get the striving and I love that idea, but can we, just every once in a while, can we let them be your crown of victory too?”

//

Later that same year, early November 2026, Ashlyn came home from another tattoo appointment that Ali didn’t even know anything about at all. The brunette was surprised and a little confused when she saw the new, 6” tattoo in the center of her wife’s chest.

“Wow...so, you just went and got this today?” Ali tried to disguise her disappointment in the uninspiring new ink.

“You hate it...”

“I don’t hate it, at all” Ali countered honestly. “I’m just...a little surprised.”

“Why don’t you like it?” the keeper questioned, handling the less than enthusiastic reaction better than anyone would have predicted. “Tell me, please.”

“Why don’t you tell me why you love it, why you got it, instead?” Ali encouraged with a soft kiss to her wife’s lips.

Ashlyn took a minute to think while the brunette studied the tattoo some more - trying not to get distracted by her wife’s bare chest. It was a little disconcerting how much the keeper cared what Ali thought about her tattoos. But she knew she couldn’t change it. She would always try to please and impress her beautiful brunette, and her new tattoos would be no exception. 

“I used to think it was kind of tacky, you know, the woman symbol. Lots of different groups have used it over the years and it just felt sort of...common. Cliché almost. Too common for me to ever put on my body” she began carefully, watching as Ali got ready to apply the moisturizer for her. It had become their own little ritual. Every time Ashlyn got a new tattoo, Ali spent time getting to know it and the only way to do that until it was healed was to take care of it. “But I started to dig a little deeper because, I don’t know, there’s always been something about it that spoke to me. I know that’s weird” she shrugged.

“It’s not weird at all” Ali admired the slightly fuzzy lines on the right side of the new tattoo. It was a blurred effect along the right edge of the whole tattoo. It must have been done purposely because Naomi was extremely talented and didn’t all of a sudden develop the shakes or anything. “Keep going.”

“Well, the first thing I liked was that it’s also called the Venus sign, like the planet.”

“Right, and the male symbol is Mars” Ali nodded as she kept moisturizing in slow, gentle movements. She knew the whole ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ thing that had been popular back in the day had come from the planet names.

“Exactly” she nodded. “And the planets, a lot of the celestial bodies actually, were named after characters from mythology. So Venus the planet was named after Venus the Roman goddess of love. She’s the same as Aphrodite in Greek mythology” the keeper explained. “And you know what a fool I am for goddesses and love” she rolled her eyes self-deprecatingly, making Ali giggle and give her another quick kiss. “But the really cool thing about Venus is that instead of having parents, she was born of sea foam” her hazel eyes danced with excitement.

“Ah, see, it already makes more sense” Ali smiled at her wife. “Mythology. Sea foam. Got it.”

“See, it’s getting better and better” Ashlyn grinned. “So Venus is cool but what does the symbol look like? What is it shaped like?”

Ali made a few guesses, things that could be a circle over a cross, before Ashlyn lost patience and spelled it out for her.

“It’s supposed to be Venus’ hand mirror, see the handle at the bottom and the round part is the mirror.”

“Huh” Ali nodded approvingly. “And we love our hand mirrors don’t we” she winked at her keeper and squeezed the looking glass tattoo on her upper left arm with the princess and the cracked glass. “That’s pretty cool.”

“I didn’t want it to be boring or...static, so Naomi came up with the idea to make it look like it was moving...”

“The lines on the right side...”

“Yep” Ashlyn nodded. “It almost looks like it’s underwater...”

“Ooooh, the sea foam” Ali’s eyes flashed in recognition as Ashlyn grinned at her.

“And on the base level, if you forget all of that cool mythology stuff, it’s the symbol for women. And I love women. A lot.”

“Women huh?” Ali quirked her eyebrow in a playful challenge.

“Well, one incredible woman” the keeper smirked. “That’s right, I’m looking at you gorgeous.”

They laughed and got Ashlyn’s shirt back on after kissing for a few minutes. 

“So now you have to tell me why you don’t like it” Ashlyn got serious and looked more than a little nervous.

“Aw babe, I love it” Ali gave her a nose-crinkling grin and tilted her head a little bit to the side. “At first, before you explained it to me, I thought the same thing you did – that it was too cliché for you and your canvas” she moved her eyes around her wife’s numerous and artful tattoos. “But honestly, now that I know about Venus and the sea foam and the mirror, I absolutely love it. It fits right in. It’s beautiful and fascinating, just like you.”

//

In another four months the keeper had gotten her upper right arm tattooed and the kids were fascinated by all the words on it. Until that moment in March of 2027, Mommy had been the one with the words tattooed on her body. Mama had the cool pictures. Yes, the kids were overlooking their uncle’s name along the side of Ashlyn’s left breast, on the edge of her colorful side tattoo. And they had forgotten about the ‘knowledge speaks’ and ‘wisdom listens’ lines on top of their mama’s shoulders. But, nevertheless, they were intrigued as hell by the words and what they meant.

‘FAKE’ ‘DRAMA QUEEN’ ‘DISAPPOINTING’ ‘try-hard’ ‘awkward’ ‘hopeless’ and ‘freak’ all floated around the perimeter of the left side of the tattoo. ‘CRAZY’ ‘friendless’ ‘DON’T ASSOCIATE WITH HER’ hovered just outside the right edge of the tattoo. In the middle was a striking, dark image of a spiraling staircase with a young woman underneath it – her arms crossed defensively over her bare chest, long dark hair on either side of her face. Her eyes were a mixture of sadness and anger and there were tears in them. And there were two pieces of criss-crossed tape over her mouth with the word ‘BROKen’ across the resulting X.

As the questions from the kids peaked and then subsided, Ashlyn spoke carefully. She wanted to make sure they knew the subject of not fitting in, and being different, and feeling misunderstood would always be open for discussion with both she and Ali.

“You guys might have felt some of these things already, and maybe you haven’t. I hope you never have to feel any of this stuff because it doesn’t feel good when you’re going through it” she looked from one small, inquisitive face to the next. “But the important thing to remember is that it’s ok if you ever do feel like this. It’s ok. It doesn’t mean you’re crazy. It doesn’t mean you’re broken. It just means you’re human and you’re feeling different things.”

“And when you ever feel like this” Ali touched her wife’s arm, gently caressing the new tattoo. “You just come talk to us” she smiled warmly at her children. “That’s what we’re here for. We’ll remind you that they’re just feelings and that you’re ok and that you’re more than just whatever those feelings are at that moment.”

“That’s right” Ashlyn nodded and got a more serious look on her face. “You just reach out and talk to someone. If you don’t want it to be one of us” she motioned between she and the brunette, “then talk to each other. You can call one of your grandparents. You can talk to your teacher or one of your friends. The important thing is to talk to somebody about it so they can help you feel ok again. Ok?”

The kids were so young that most of that family discussion had gone over their heads. Drew would be turning 8 in a couple of months, Josie 6 and the twins 4 by the time their birthdays had come and gone in May and June that year. Drew seemed to understand some of it and Josie had definitely felt some of those feelings, whether she could identify them by name or not, as a result of the unwanted attention over her giraffe birthmark that year in kindergarten. But Dodge and Lily were oblivious to it all, nodding and giggling and trying their best to sit still for the impromptu family talk.

“I think the stairs are cool” Drew said after a quiet moment where both moms were wondering if they should say something else or just let the issue sit where it was.

He moved closer to Ashlyn and gently traced his index finger from the widest end of the staircase, near the girl’s cheek, all the way around all of the 7 or 8 spirals to the very center. Everybody watched him, parents and kids alike.

“Looks like a shell” Josie spoke softly as she came closer again too.

“Shell!” Dodge yelled, excited by the idea.

And so Ashlyn’s newest tattoo came to be known as her ‘shell’ tattoo, and she was absolutely ok with that.

//

In September of that year, 2027, and as a direct result of freaking out about the twins going to preschool for the first time, Ashlyn sought out Naomi and her artistry to soothe her soul again. Soccer was, and had always been, a huge part of Ashlyn’s life. It still was, although in very different ways than when she had been playing the beautiful game. Whether it was on the pitch or in the broadcast booth or on the sidelines, soccer would always be important to the keeper. But up to that point, it had never claimed a space on the canvas that was her body. Ali had asked her about it once, when they were just figuring out how to be a new couple, and the blonde had simply told her that she didn’t know what she wanted to put in ink just yet. She hadn’t seen or found or created something that she felt was worthy of the ink. That all changed when the keeper had been asked that summer to be part of a documentary about the artistry and history of goalkeeping. She only had one small interview segment and it wasn’t very memorable – the filmmaker had chosen to focus almost exclusively on male goalkeepers and soccer experts and historians. When the final product aired, Ashlyn’s brief segment discussing goalkeepers who had made an impact on her when she was growing up was one of only 4 interviews that featured women at all. But, despite her disappointment, the keeper thoroughly enjoyed the stories and history she had learned in the process. She knew many of the tales already, but there were plenty of new ones for her to embrace. 

There were several anecdotes about Billy Mercer, the goalkeeper who played for the English Football League in the early 1900s, and Ashlyn had heard many of them already. What she didn’t know was that he was one of the very first goalkeepers to ever be photographed. She couldn’t get the grainy, black and white image out of her head no matter how hard she tried. He stood there in his football kit, complete with turtleneck sweater and newsboy cap, with one hand on the left post of the goal itself. He was standing in front of the goal and facing to the side and the field behind him was a muddy mess, as was his uniform. At first, Ashlyn planned to get a copy of the picture framed so she could hang it in the big old house somewhere. Then she started to think about where the best place would be. The more she thought about where to hang it and why each place she came up with wasn’t good enough, the more annoyed she got with the whole problem.

Finally, the solution occurred to her and she emailed Naomi the picture and asked her what she thought about hanging it permanently – on her lower left leg. The finished product was all black ink and it covered most of the outside of her left calf, with Billy on the left and the goal on the right with the muddy field stretching out behind both. Ashlyn didn’t believe in small tattoos, which was a point of contention between she and her wife, and this new image of William Henry Mercer was no exception. Soccer, the thing that had impacted and shaped more of Ashlyn’s life than almost anything else in the world, had finally found its place on her canvas. 

//

At the end of that tumultuous year, 2027, the year when Ali had her first truly frightening string of questionable results from her quarterly ultrasounds; the year when Chris Harris had nearly choked his own sister to death in a drunken stupor on Thanksgiving; Ashlyn decided she wasn’t waiting any longer to start her next piece of body art. The Kriegers had been given stark reminders, again, of how short life could be and the keeper paid heed. Ashlyn worked with Naomi in December and January and by the end of her third actual tattoo appointment in the last week of February 2028, her latest and greatest and largest tattoo had been completed. The entire front of her left thigh was filled with the enormous, imposing face of Poseidon. There were roiling, stormy ocean waves above his head and hair, and dark, murky depths below his chin and full beard – complete with a shark front and center. Her left leg was the last bastion of clear, untattooed skin on any of her extremities and that was because she had been saving this tattoo. It was so important to her because it combined so many different aspects of her life and her heart. 

“Wow, that’s fucking amazing!” Ali enthused late Friday evening when her wife finally made it home after the long, final appointment. “Let me see.”

Ashlyn would always love the way her beautiful brunette supported her, especially when it came to her body art. The keeper often wondered if Ali thought she had too many tattoos. She’d never know the real truth because the brunette would never admit it if it were true. But those moments when she came home with a new one, just like that Friday night, and Ali’s eyes lit up and her hands flexed eagerly to touch and feel it – those moments gave Ashlyn her answer. She was extremely lucky to have a wife who loved her and loved her tattoos in equal measure, and she knew it.

“Is it bigger than your side tat? I think it’s bigger” Ali commented once they finally got upstairs and ready for bed. “It’s definitely darker, maybe that’s why it looks bigger?” she tilted her head and pursed her lips as she considered, never taking her eyes off of the dramatic new tattoo. “Wow...”

“I know” Ashlyn giggled like a giddy teenager. “I love it. I love it so much” their eyes met and were both full of excitement and adoration.

“It’s so many of your best things” Ali looked lovingly at the ink again. “The ocean, both above and below. The mythology. The shark!” her eyebrows went up as she giggled again. “And Naomi outdid herself. It’s absolutely gorgeous Ash. Wow.”

“I kept putting this one off because I was afraid it wouldn’t be good enough, you know?”

“I know this one was important to you.”

“They’re all important, but this one...I’ve been thinking about this one all my life” the keeper’s voice got emotional as she lay in her place on their bed with Ali kneeling next to her.

“I’m glad you finally did it honey” the brunette leaned over and pressed a tender kiss to her lips that were trembling just a bit as Ashlyn tried not to cry. “I love it.”

“I wanted to get Poseidon up here” she pointed to the outside of her left forearm. “But something kept telling me to wait, that something bigger and better was coming for him” she nodded and smiled at her wife who was still leaning over her and playing with the shaggy hair at the back of her neck.

“Yeah, like your gorgeous thigh” Ali chuckled. “It just got a lot more gorgeous...damn” she bit her bottom lip as she sat back on her heels and admired the fresh ink some more.

“Poseidon, God of the sea, and my adoptive patron saint” Ashlyn chuckled. “This dude has saved me more times than I can even remember.”

“God of the sea and other waters. God of storms and earthquakes. And God of horses” Ali recited what she knew about the Greek God that was so important to her wife. “His symbols are the trident, dolphin, fish, horse and bull” she nodded.

“And he was kind of a dick” Ashlyn chuckled. “But I always liked that about him” she shrugged. “He was moody and bad-tempered and if you pissed him off he’d send a storm or an earthquake to try and kill you.”

“So you’ve got Zeus and Poseidon...are you gonna complete the set and get Hades somewhere?” Ali asked, only half-teasing. She wouldn’t put it past her mythology-loving girl to do just that, even though Hades was the God of the Underworld and Death.

“No, I don’t think so” Ashlyn laughed. “That seems like asking for trouble. No thanks.”

“Good” Ali grinned. “I think that’s a good call.”

“Besides, Hera was their sister and she didn’t get to control the earth, the sea or the underworld, so fuck that.”

They were quiet for a couple of minutes while Ali moisturized the angry skin with her soft, gentle touch. It was late and there was a busy Saturday of basketball and indoor soccer games waiting for them when they woke the next morning. But Ali found herself lingering over the beautiful new artwork.

“Can’t get enough huh?” Ashlyn teased. “Just wait til it’s healed baby, then it’ll really be something.”

“No, it’s not that” the brunette giggled softly. “Well, yes, that, for sure. Definitely that” she wagged her eyebrows as she moved into her spot and tucked her feet under the covers, still looking at Ashlyn’s left thigh. “I just really love how there are so many parts of you in this one. The ocean, of course, but that’s a really huge part of who you are. It’s a common theme but that doesn’t make it less important.”

“More important” the keeper nodded, listening carefully to her wife’s thoughtful words.

“Yes, definitely” Ali agreed. “The mythology. The shark” she smiled and looked up to find the blonde smiling back at her. “But I think it’s the way you combined the light and the dark here. It’s so dark and heavy down here” she pointed towards the underwater area where the shark moved around the shadowy depths. “And even up here, the wild waves and the stormy sea. But there’s light too, in both places. You can see the sky clearing there on the horizon, behind the stormy sea. And this beautiful shaft of light down here, cutting through from the surface of the water and lighting up the deep dark ocean.” She paused and smiled again when Ashlyn reached over and held her hand. “I love that about you babe. There’s always light in you, even with the darkness. It’s always been there and it always will be and that makes me so happy. I love your light so much.”

“Not my dark though, huh?” the keeper gave her a sheepish look.

“You know I love your dark too” Ali squeezed her hand and gave her a pout. “You know I do” she challenged with a stern gaze but she couldn’t keep the smile from her face for more than a couple of seconds.

“I know you do hon” Ashlyn leaned over and gave her a slow kiss.

“I’ll always love your light more because that’s when you’re happiest” Ali repeated something they had talked about many times over the years. “But your dark makes it shine that much brighter.”

“It’s you, you know” Ashlyn gave her a small grin that was somehow shy and charming at the same time.

“What is?”

“The light...my light...” the keeper pulled her wife closer to her and cupped her face with one hand. “It comes from you. I don’t always need to use your light though” she tried to explain. “Most of the time my own will do ok” she shrugged. “But when I can’t find my own light...it’s always you that fills it up again. Every single time I’ve ever needed it.”

“Aw, Ashlyn” Ali blinked slowly at the love of her life and nuzzled her cheek into her warm hand. “I feel the same way. I use your light too. A lot. I think...I think that’s just how our love works.”

//

By May of 2031 Ali’s long-contemplated idea for her own next tattoo had finally taken shape enough in her mind so that she felt comfortable talking about it with her wife. She would be turning 47 in 2 months and was starting to feel the pressure of time working against her slow-brewing plan. She hadn’t formalized a deadline or anything, not even in her head, but she honestly couldn’t see herself getting a tattoo as she got closer to the half-century mark. That just seemed...so extra. But who knew how she would feel after turning 50? She might, all of a sudden, want to cover her entire body in tattoos and if that was the case then she’d have a hard time stopping herself. Life was short and she and Ashlyn preached to their kids all the time about being yourself and living your life to the fullest. It’d be pretty hypocritical of her to not get tattoos after 50 if that was what her heart truly desired. She hadn’t been able to find a good time to have the new tattoo conversation with her wife though, and she certainly hadn’t planned it for the middle of their sexcapades one mid-May night.

“Don’t stop baby...unnhh, fuck...please don’t stop...” Ashlyn gasped as she fought hard to keep moving her own fingers inside her wife’s constricting core while Ali’s amazing mouth and hands pushed her right to the precipice of what was sure to be an enormous orgasm.

“Oh God...Mmmm...I’m so close...” the brunette choked back, mumbling into Ashlyn’s pussy between a hard suck and a deep thrust of her tongue. 

Ashlyn was on top of her as they enjoyed the 69 position in their big bed at home and they were both going for their first, urgent orgasms of the night. They hadn’t been able to negotiate who got to taste whom first, so they fell back on their old favorite solution. It wasn’t their favorite favorite version of 69 – that would be with Ali on top, but that had been tarnished at the glamping cabin and they were still working on getting it back. They had done it a few times in the 17 months since Emily’s attack but Ashlyn knew Ali wasn’t 100% comfortable with it yet. Time. Everything took time and they both knew they would get there eventually. Their favorite favorite 69 position and the new ben wa balls – those were works in progress for the couple. The good news was that there was definite progress being made on both fronts.

“Jesus...yes...yes...yes...” Ashlyn heard her wife starting to chant as her orgasm got closer and closer. Ali’s mouth was still buried in her wife’s wet folds, with her fingers beginning to rub her keeper’s clit as she mumbled her growing chant.

“I’m there” Ashlyn’s strangled voice called out. “I’m coming...”

In a flurry of fast and hard movements, both women bore down and felt the muscles in their arms fire one last burst of energy. Then they were shaking and rocking in each other’s embrace as they came, one right after the other, just the way Ashlyn loved so much.

“Yessssss!!!” Ali hissed as she felt the sweet release sweep through her body.

“Oh my God” Ashlyn grunted as she rolled them both over onto their sides, clinging tightly to her wife’s writhing body and losing herself in the ecstasy of the moment. “Ali!!!!”

They lay there together for a long while, unwilling to separate themselves from passion-drenched thighs and the tantalizing aroma of sex. They moved their tongues lazily across slightly salty skin as they licked up their fill. Their hands wandered over smooth hips and soft asses and ticklish sides, loving every inch of skin in their travels. That was the very best thing about coming at the same time – nobody was left aching while the other recovered. It wasn’t the end of the world to wait for your wife to catch her breath enough to give you your own orgasm. It was kind of a beautiful torture, in a way. But these moments when they were both satisfied at the same time and they could revel in the bliss together were awesome. Those moments were when Ali understood Ashlyn’s ongoing quest for simultaneous orgasms a little bit better.

“Mmmmm...that felt incredible” Ali purred as she tried to change positions after several more minutes. “Now I want your other lips” she smirked.

“Well how can I resist that?” the keeper chuckled as she let her wife turn around and crawl up her body. 

Ali pushed Ashlyn flat on her back and laid on top of her, bringing their lips together in a slow, deep, passionate kiss. 

“I love you” the brunette exhaled as they broke for air, both of her hands full of the shaggy hair on either side of her wife’s head. “I love you so much” she repeated earnestly.

“I love you too baby” Ashlyn gave her lips a quick kiss, studying her face as the brunette sat up, straddling her keeper’s hips. “You ok?”

“Yeah” Ali answered with a soft smile as she traced her fingers around her wife’s chest which was still pink from the exertion, orgasm and passionate kiss. She settled herself on Ashlyn’s lower abs and closed her eyes when she felt her own wetness pressed back into her warm skin. “Mmmmm...” she hummed. 

The keeper reached her hands out and caressed Ali’s side and thigh and stomach and hip, moving them slowly from one to the other and back again. She could tell the brunette had something to say and she wondered just how long it was going to take her to spit it out.

“Something on your mind, sugarplum?” Ashlyn grinned. “I mean, besides how good I am at turning you into a hot mess” she winked and couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Oh jeez” Ali giggled and rolled her eyes. “So cocky” she shook her head and cupped both of Ashlyn’s breasts with a grin on her face.

“Not wrong though” the keeper wagged her eyebrows and squeezed Ali’s hips with her own dimple-bearing grin.

“Fine, whatever” she rolled her eyes again and then tweaked both nipples. “Cocky.”

“Hey!” Ashlyn complained, covering her chest with both arms and laughing along with her beautiful brunette. “Don’t start now” she cautioned with a look. “You know I’ll finish it.”

“Alright, alright” Ali giggled and put her hands up in submission. “I’ll be good.”

Ashlyn intertwined the fingers of both hands with her wife and they smiled adoringly at each other.

“So what’s up?”

“Nothing” Ali blinked down at her wife as they kept their hands together, hovering above the blonde’s chest. “Why?”

“Because I know you Al” she chuckled. “So just tell me whatever it is” she bumped her hips up and grinned. “You know you want to...”

“It’s nothing really” the brunette stalled and bit her bottom lip as she got cold feet about sharing her thoughts with her wife.

“Good, then it should be easy to get out...”

Ali looked down at Ashlyn’s smiling face and saw nothing but devotion and love and a good deal of amusement there. She started to wonder why she hadn’t talked to her about another tattoo before. There was no way the keeper would react badly, Ali had no doubt in her mind. Maybe because saying the words out loud to Ashlyn meant there was no going back.

“I umm...” she chewed her bottom lip for a second. The blonde squeezed both hands and blinked up at her with a small nod. Ali’s voice was soft but clear. “I’m ready for my next tattoo.”

“Really?!” Ashlyn’s face lit up. “Are you sure?” she tried desperately to temper her excitement because it seemed like the brunette was still a bit hesitant.

“Yeah” Ali giggled and ducked her head just a bit. “I am. Definitely.”

Ashlyn was happy to hear the confidence back in her wife’s voice.

“That’s awesome honey” she beamed up at the brunette. “I’m psyched for you. I can’t wait.” She squeezed her hands again and watched Ali return her grin – which was full of relief too. “So why are you so shy telling me? What am I missing?”

“I don’t know” Ali sighed and frowned a little. “I think maybe it’s been a long time coming...I’ve been so picky about what I want to get...and this one’s really important...”

Ashlyn considered her wife’s words and was immediately reminded of the fact that Ali had gotten the cresting wave tattoo over her sweet spot without mentioning a single word to her about it. At all. Ashlyn came home from travelling and there it was – looking incredible on the brunette’s body, two weeks into the healing process. This reticence was nothing new in her wife and the keeper knew that it had nothing to do with her.

“You nervous about it?” Ashlyn freed one hand and placed it softly on her wife’s side.

“Yeah. I mean, I’m sure about it, but it’s still...” she paused and looked down.

“It’s a big fucking commitment” Ashlyn patted her side and let her thumb caress the soft skin she could reach on Ali’s stomach. “I get it.”

The brunette smiled as she lifted her eyes and tilted her head, meeting her keeper’s kind gaze.

“I know I’m being silly” she shrugged and chuckled. “But this one feels really personal.”

“More personal than this one” Ashlyn quirked her eyebrow and ran her thumb across her wife’s sweet spot near her left hip.

“No” Ali giggled. “But different...I don’t know” she shrugged again.

“Can you tell me about it? What are you going to get? Or do you want it to be a surprise again?”

“No, only yours was a surprise. I wanted to do that one just for you and have it all done before you ever saw it” she chuckled. “But you couldn’t keep your hands off me and you saw it before it was completely healed.”

“Oh it was mostly healed. And you were the one who couldn’t keep your hands off of me when I got home from Florida, if I remember correctly” she challenged with a wink.

“Whatever” Ali waved her off with a coy glance and then giggled again.

“I love you, you know” Ashlyn’s steady voice went straight to her wife’s heart and filled it until it felt like it was about to burst. “And whatever tattoo you get will only make me love you more because I know it will be special and beautiful. That’s the truth, honey.”

Ali saw the sincerity in her wife’s eyes and felt their connection, strong as ever, especially because they were naked and vulnerable at the moment. It made no sense why she was making such a mystery of the tattoo. She took a deep breath as they smiled at each other like the fools in love that they were.

“It’s gonna be my tree, from the park in Frankfurt, the big old oak...”

“You loved that tree so much” the keeper’s smile got even bigger as she listened to her wife’s nervous but excited voice.

“And it’s for the kids...like a family tree but not really” she shook her head in slight frustration, unhappy with the way she was explaining it. “I don’t want it to be a cheesy family tree thing. At all. It’s just gonna look like my beautiful tree but the kids’ initials will be in the leaves somewhere. Really subtle.”

“That sounds so cool baby. It’ll be awesome” Ashlyn enthused. “How big? And where are you putting it?”

“That’s been the hardest part, honestly. Where it should go” the brunette admitted with a sigh. “But I keep coming back to my side...it just feels like that’s where it belongs” she looked down at her left side and touched the area below the last line of text there, ‘die Augen unsichtbar’. “Right here, underneath it. The tree is wide, it was really big” she explained, talking quickly as all of the years of careful consideration came tumbling out of her mouth in a rush. “So I’m thinking maybe 8” wide and 6 or 7” high. But I’ll let Naomi help me figure it out. I’ve got a good picture of it, the tree I mean, and she can decide how to scale it so it looks best there. I don’t want it to look too small. I want it to blend in almost, so the very top of the tree, the leaves, are running up into the bottom of the letters. Maybe some extra leaves added in loose in the line above to make it seem more connected. Nowhere else on my body feels right for it. I can’t really explain it” she shook her head. “Every time I’ve thought about where to put it, I always end up here. And when you think about it, the tree really goes with the quote. I spent so much time there, under that tree, figuring so many things out. If that tree hadn’t been there for me...well, I don’t know if I would have been able to figure anything out at all, let alone the single most important lesson I ever learned in my whole life” her eyebrows went up at the thought. If she hadn’t discovered the courage to explore her sexuality and accept herself for who she was while she was in Germany, there’s no way she’d be with Ashlyn now. “And I can’t decide exactly how to do the kids’ initials either. I know I want to do one initial for each of them” she was talking fast again and her hands were both moving through the air as she spoke, trying to show her keeper what had been in her mind’s eye for so long. “But how? I want it all in black and grey so putting the initials in among the leaves should be pretty easy. And Naomi’ll make it look good, I know she will. But, like, what about Drew?”

“What about him?” Ashlyn asked, curious. 

She was having a hard time keeping the amused chuckle from escaping her lips as she watched Ali gush the torrent of information and excitement her way. With her expressive hands joining the act it was really quite a show.

“Do I do a ‘D’ or an ‘A’? We never call him Andrew and he’s not an Andrew so I want to use a ‘D’ but then what about Dodge?” she rattled on, almost breathless.

“How about a big ‘D’ and a little ‘d’?”

“That’s what I’m thinking but I don’t know...is that dumb? Is Dodge gonna be hurt because his ‘d’ is little?” 

“Hey, honey” Ashlyn tried to settle the brunette down, patting her hip and running her hand up and down her thigh soothingly. “I think that sounds amazing and you’ve definitely planned it all out carefully” she nodded with a warm smile. “Talking to Naomi will definitely help. She’s really good and she has great, creative ideas too. But listen,” she cocked her head and smiled brightly when Ali met her gaze, “it’s your tattoo and you are the only one who matters when it comes right down to it. If you want a big ‘D’ and a little ‘d’ then that’s what you get. If you want two big ‘D’s then that’s what you get. Nobody else’s opinion matters. I know you know that, but I’m just reminding you...”

“Because I’ve worked myself up into a lather over it” Ali chuckled and blew a big breath out. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry” Ashlyn sat up and held her close, kissing her chest and then turning her head sideways to rest against it as they hugged. She could hear Ali’s heart pounding inside her body. “I love it. I love listening to you talk about something you’re passionate about. I always have. That was awesome.”

“What do you really think though, about the whole thing?”

“I love the idea, seriously honey, I swear” the keeper pulled back so they could see each other’s face. “Having your tree on your body is perfect...just perfect. And turning it into kind of a family tree that’s not like a cheesy family tree is really cool. And I think it’ll look awesome on your side...”

“Do you really? Don’t just say that now” Ali gave her wife a stern, challenging look. “Tell me the truth, I really need to know what you think.”

“I’m being totally honest with you Al. I swear. I really think it’ll look great there. It’ll almost be like filling in a missing part of your side piece” she slid her hand up the brunette’s side and then let it rest just above her hip where the bottom of the tree would eventually go. “Not that there’s anything wrong with your side piece the way it is” Ashlyn clarified with an anxious look at her wife’s face.

“Don’t worry” she chuckled. “I know what you mean babe.”

“Whew” Ashlyn exhaled and made a show of wiping pretend sweat off of her brow, receiving a pinch from Ali for her efforts. “Ow, come on, I’m just teasing” she giggled and was surprised when the brunette captured her lips in a long, meaningful kiss. “What was that for?” the keeper’s face was full of a dazed smile as Ali pulled back after the kiss.

The brunette brushed some of the shaggy hair away from her wife’s face and gave her a soft, sincere, loving smile before answering her.

“Because you’re wonderful and I love you.”

“Oh, is that all?” Ashlyn teased but then blinked softly at her when she saw how genuine Ali was being.

“And because you put up with all of my tattoo madness” the brunette chuckled. “Thank you.”

“Anytime my love” the keeper leaned in and gave her a kiss. “Anything for you, always. But especially when it comes to new ink on your gorgeous body” she wagged her eyebrows and grabbed two big handfuls of Ali’s ass. “And you know when to catch me at my best, that’s for sure” she joked and they both laughed out loud.

“Right, you’re always much more patient and attentive when I’m naked” Ali rolled her eyes and laughed again.

“You’re not wrong” the keeper chuckled and then surprised her wife by tipping her back onto the bed in one swift move. Ali squealed and then giggled as Ashlyn climbed on top of her. “Now lemme get a closer look at where this sexy new tat’s gonna go...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check the Tumblr page for pics of the tattoos discussed in this chapter. If you're interested.


	23. Perseverance & the Pitmans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a tough chapter. There's a big confrontation after some sad events. Police and lawyers are called...

The big event for the summer of 2031 was the Women’s World Cup in the United Kingdom. The first games were held on Saturday June 7th in England, Scotland, and Wales, and the Championship Final was held on Sunday July 6th in London’s Wembley Stadium. Any WWC was a major event and a huge deal for the soccer loving public, but having the event held in some of the most historic and beloved soccer stadiums in the entire world was a dream come true for almost all of the players as well as most of the fans. Ashlyn and Ali had been planning their trip to the UK for months and, as usual, were relying on help from their village to make it all happen. Ashlyn, Meg, and Meg’s best friend on the BC team – Gwen, left for Glasgow, Scotland on Wednesday June 4th. Meg and Gwen were roommates and had become fast friends as they both fought for their spot on the varsity team. Luckily for them both, they weren’t competing in the same positions. Gwen was a forward, tall and strong and fast and more than a little full of herself. Meg assured her family that her new friend from Iowa was just putting on airs because she was so freaked out about the huge change from high school talent levels to the top-tier program in college. The soon-to-be college sophomores stayed in the UK for the first two weeks of the tournament and then returned to Boston for some off-season summer camp work that Niki and the other coaches had arranged for the team.

The Krieger kids didn’t finish school until Thursday June 19th, which was also Josie’s 10th birthday. Ali, Ken Krieger, and Mike Harris were flying to join Ashlyn in England Saturday June 21st and staying through the end of the tournament with all four kids and Ethan Machado. Sam and Lisa Machado were trying to take their first real, long, romantic vacation together and they chose to do it around Ashlyn’s WWC schedule so the Kriegers could take Ethan with them. Ashlyn had offered, after she and Ali had discussed it, and the two best friends were ecstatic about it. It worked out well and Ali and Ashlyn were both happy to help. Ethan was a really good kid and he and Drew were practically their own set of twins in many ways. Sometimes friends turned 11 and 12 years old and left their previous best friends behind as they made new ones. But not Drew and Ethan. They were still as thick as thieves.

With Carol and Deb still on the mend, the grandmother brigade took a seat on the bench for this excursion. When the roster of willing and able grandparents was finalized, it was Ken Krieger and Mike Harris. All the kids thought it was pretty cool that they were having just Grandpa and Papa on the trip this time and everyone was looking forward to it. Ali had bent over backwards to try and get the kids into the different summer camps that they wanted that summer so they didn’t interfere with the WWC trip. It wasn’t easy, and each kid lost out on at least one camp they really wanted to go to, but all in all they were mostly happy with the end result.

Ashlyn hated to miss the beginning of The Academy but there was no way to avoid it. It was year 7 and she knew Whitney and Cat Whitehill and Jane Sheldrick had things under control and that was like a gift itself. Being able to be half a world away and not have to worry about the quality of camp suffering was just more proof that they had set The Academy up well and hired the right people to keep it that way. The keeper was thrilled and crushed at the same time. She loved knowing The Academy was flourishing but her ego couldn’t help but take a hit at her growing obsolescence – even if it had been by design and made good common sense. 

But before Ashlyn could get to the World Cup across the pond, she had to get through the last two weeks of May and the first week of June. That proved to be much more difficult than anyone could have possibly imagined. Drew’s 12th birthday, held as usual during Memorial Day weekend, was the easiest one yet. He didn’t want a party or even a cake, although Ashlyn insisted that Ali continue with the numbered cake for one more year – agreeing that stopping when he became a teenager was a good, natural ending point. All Drew wanted was to go to the K1 Speed & Entertainment complex – the same place Ali and Ashlyn’s Jill & Jill party had been held 14 years earlier – with a handful of his friends who were around that long holiday weekend. The K1 complex had become very successful and had opened two other satellite locations to the West and South of Boston. The one Ali and Ashlyn had used was still the only one on the North Shore of Boston and they had both been flooded with memories from that wonderful night as they dropped Drew off and then picked him up again several hours later.

The trouble happened later that week and caught everybody by surprise.

“Do you think it’s like a sympathy puking thing? Like spouses sometimes get when their wife is pregnant and has morning sickness?” Ashlyn spoke anxiously into her phone and pressed her free hand against her other ear to try and block out the noise in the backyard of the big old house that Wednesday afternoon, 5-28-2031. 

“Guys, be quiet” Drew hushed his younger siblings with a serious scowl. “She’s talking to the vet!” he whisper-yelled with authority and all three kids stopped what they were doing and got worried looks on their faces.

The whole family had been concerned about Logan for most of the day. The kids were playing right at that moment and had temporarily forgotten their worry but were quickly reminded of it by Drew’s reprimand. Logan had thrown up on Lily’s floor in the middle of the night and had been repeating the exercise every few hours throughout the day. Ali had cleaned up Lily’s floor at 3:30am, trying to remember to be thankful that the dog had at least managed to scramble off the bed before making the mess, and Ashlyn had been home to deal with the rest of the puke-fest ever since. It was not her strong suit. At all. She still got queasy when she tried to clean up after the kids, so the dog was certainly no easier. Things got even more complicated when Persey started vomiting too. Thankfully it hadn’t happened until around noontime but it had already happened twice since then, and the kids had only been home from school for an hour. Three times in 3-1/2 hours was a lot, especially for Persey. Both Ali and Ashlyn always worried about her because of her previous brush with death when she had half of her intestines removed.

Ashlyn had moved everybody out to the yard so any doggy puke clean up would be easier. It was a nice May day and the kids were happy to be outside so it was a win-win. Except the dogs kept throwing up. Neither of them had anything left in their stomachs and what came up was a disgusting, foul-smelling bile-like substance that even the kids ran from. Even Dodge, their gross-out king, wanted no part of it. Ali was on her way home early but Ashlyn was starting to think she couldn’t wait for the brunette. Something was really wrong.

“Well, she only has half her intestines, remember?” the keeper nodded as she listened in turn. “No, nothing new in their diet” she turned to look at the kids, giving them one last chance to confess to feeding something new or different to the dogs, but saw nothing except sincerely worried faces. “No, I’m sure” she nodded again. “A sample?”

Thank God Ali had been awake enough to take a picture of what Logan threw up in the middle of the night because Ashlyn had barely been able to look at any of it that day. It’s not that the brunette had a habit of photographing vomit or anything, but, especially with Logan still being such a young dog, Ali watched what the Cane Corso threw up. She wasn’t so worried about what she pooped out, that had managed to pass through her system so it wasn’t a concern. But if one of the dogs puked something up it meant it wasn’t making the trip through the digestive system. And with so many kids’ toys and crap around the house and yard, there was no telling what the pup might have gotten into. Numerous tiny parts and pieces of lego sets and doll paraphernalia and toys and games had come out of Fred’s and Persey’s and now Logan’s stomach over the years. Many a mystery had been solved by Ali taking a quick picture of the mess before cleaning it up.

“How about a picture? I don’t have a sample. And all it is now is this gross bile...” Ashlyn’s voice trailed off as she swallowed hard and grimaced at her own words.

30 minutes later Ashlyn was driving both dogs to their local vet, with Drew on board to help. She had spread the biggest plastic tarp they owned down inside the back of her Jeep and prayed for the best during the 15-minute drive. Ali met them there just as the vet was talking to Ashlyn, both of them standing at the back of her Jeep with the rear hatch open and both dogs still lying limply inside.

“What’s going on?” the brunette asked as she jumped out of the minivan after throwing it in park and blocking three other cars in their parking spaces. “Why aren’t they inside?”

“We’ve gotta get them to the Vet hospital” Ashlyn turned a panicky face to her wife.

“I can’t be positive, but it looks like they’ve ingested some kind of poison. They need the ER as fast as possible” the vet explained with a serious face. “All we can do here is pump their stomach but...”

“But what?” Ali’s heart clenched.

“But I’m afraid there might be some organ damage or other complications...”

“I’m going” Ashlyn shook the vet’s hand again and jogged to her driver’s side door.

“I wanna come too” Drew poked his head out from the back of the Jeep, surprising Ali. 

The brunette had no idea where her kids were or who was watching them that late afternoon. She knew Drew would be bored out of his mind and potentially heartbroken if things didn’t go well, but he looked so worried that she didn’t have the heart to tell him no. So she didn’t. She nodded at him and then ran to park the minivan so she could hop into the Jeep before Ashlyn left her behind in her haste.

It took several hours of waiting in the Massachusetts Veterinary Referral Hospital in Woburn, MA to get any results. Ali kept flashing back to the end of Fred’s life, right there in the same veterinary ER. Drew was surprisingly quiet and still. He seemed to sense that the dogs were in big trouble. It wasn’t good news when the vet finally came to talk to them at 8:15pm.

“They definitely ingested poison. From the tests we’ve run and the picture you took, it appears that someone laced some hotdogs with antifreeze. I’m not sure where your dogs could have come across those and eaten them, but if you can think of anything you should call the police so they can warn other dog owners in the area...”

“How long ago would they have eaten the hotdogs?” Ali asked, her voice shaking. It was impossible to tell if it was from fury at the piece of shit who purposefully laced hotdogs with antifreeze or if it was fear for the dogs’ well-being. “Are you able to tell that?”

“It would have been 12-18 hours before the vomiting started, so...probably sometime yesterday, I’d say between 9am and 3pm, approximately. It’s hard to be precise because the speed the poison takes effect is based on the amount that was ingested.”

“How are they?” Drew’s voice surprised both moms and they turned to look at their freshly turned 12-year old son with sad smiles. “Are they ok?”

“Well, I’m afraid they’re pretty sick” the vet replied kindly and glanced from one mom to the other.

“They’re gonna get better though, right?” Ashlyn asked anxiously. She didn’t like the look the vet had given she and Ali. “You’ll pump their stomachs and rehydrate them or whatever and then they’ll be ok, right?” she pulled Drew to her side with one arm around his shoulders and Ali wondered who was protecting whom.

“Umm, not quite. I’m afraid that...” he looked down quickly at the chart in his hands and then continued, “Persey isn’t responding well to the treatment. Logan is doing much better and we expect her to make a full recovery” he gave them a sad half-smile.

“But Persey’ll get better though?” Drew asked, his face starting to change as he tried to understand what the vet was saying to them.

“Well, there’s a chance that she might get better” he looked at the moms again for guidance on how much to tell their son.

“You can tell us” Ali moved closer to her family and put her arm around Drew’s shoulders from the other side so he was safely sandwiched between his two moms. “What’s going to happen with Persey?”

“If she does well tonight there’s a chance she might make some kind of recovery. But even then, her organs have suffered a lot of damage and it’ll be hard for her...”

Ashlyn knew he was trying to let them down easy, probably because Drew was standing there with them. What he was trying to say was that Persey wasn’t going to make it through the night. And if she did, her body wouldn’t be able to function anymore anyway so it was probably best if she just never woke up again. Ali felt the same ache in her chest she had felt when they got the shocking news about poor Fred and his failing heart. Persey was old and she had been through a lot, but there was something about her that had Ali convinced that she might never die. Her damned name was short for Perseverance for Christ’s sake! The brunette had never known a more aptly named dog in her entire life. 

“I’m sorry the news isn’t better, but it’s only because you got them here when you did that either one of them has a chance...”

“Can we see them?” Ashlyn’s voice was small and strained and there were tears falling silently down her cheeks that she didn’t even bother to brush away.

“Let me see what I can do.”

It was a long, quiet ride home that night. All three of them had hugged, kissed and said goodbye to Persey, just in case she didn’t make it through the night. They also hugged and kissed Logan, telling her that she’d be coming home soon. It was just after 10pm when Ashlyn pulled the Jeep into the driveway, after taking Ali to get the minivan, and led Drew into the big old house. The brunette pulled in a few minutes later and walked down to the mailbox at the bottom of the driveway to get the mail she knew no-one had thought to collect during the tumultuous afternoon. As she stood there on the dimly lit street, peering into the box to make sure she had all of the mail, she got the creepy feeling of being watched. She turned around quickly and saw 14-year old Oliver Pitman watching her carefully from his side of the street. His arms were crossed over his chest and he nodded his head slowly as their eyes met. It was hard to see, but it looked like he was sneering at her. Ali fought the urge to take out her anger and frustration on their punky neighbor, just barely winning the internal battle as she turned to walk up the driveway without saying a word.

“Too bad about your dogs” Oliver said, his voice flat and heavy. He sounded more like an 18-year old and Ali stopped in her tracks.

“Excuse me?” she turned around, bewildered by how he could possibly know there was something wrong with their dogs. “What did you just say?” she walked halfway across the street, her fury mounting with every step.

“I said it’s too bad, what happened to your stupid dogs” he smirked, not even trying to hide the smug smile on his pimply face. 

“What do you know about it?” the brunette huffed out, her nostrils flaring as she clenched the hand that wasn’t holding the mail. Oliver just stood there, full of conceit, but didn’t reply. “If you had anything to do with this Oliver, so help me God...” she began to threaten, her words clipped and the set of her jaw severe.

“Everything ok Alex?” Ken Krieger called out from the middle of the driveway, up by the back of the minivan.

Ali turned to look at her father who was just heading home after babysitting Josie, Dodge and Lily that night. Worry filled his face as he walked towards her, trying to assess the situation.

“I’m fine. But Oliver was just about to tell me...” she began, but when she turned back to face the obnoxious boy he was gone.

The next day, Thursday, was brutal for the family. Drew wanted to go back to the vet hospital with Ashlyn but both his moms told him he had to go to school. Ali had a huge meeting at the office that she couldn’t move but she met Ashlyn at Mass Vet as soon as she could. Before anybody had even left the house that morning, Ashlyn had called the vet hospital with shaking hands to find out if Persey had made it through the night.

“She’s hanging in there guys” the keeper announced somberly to her wife and kids and then they all got back to getting ready for their day.

By 1:30pm when Ali got there, Logan was doing much better. She had responded well to the medicine they had given her to counteract some of the damage the antifreeze had caused. Antifreeze was especially destructive to a dog’s kidneys. It had something to do with the way the dog’s system tried to metabolize the chemicals in the antifreeze, but the result was devastating to the kidneys if the damage wasn’t stopped early enough. Logan was up and wagging her nubby tail by noontime, which was a very good sign. The vet wanted to keep her one more night just to make sure there weren’t any lingering effects or further complications. 

“Logan’s doing very well. We think her larger size and youth, 20 months old, were big factors in her speedy recovery. We want to watch her kidneys though and make sure she’s able to make urine before we release her” the vet explained. “But you can see her if you’d like.”

“How’s Persey?” Ali asked, full of dread. “Can we see her?”

“Unfortunately, she’s not doing well at all” the vet frowned. “I’m afraid her kidneys have been too badly damaged. She’s not responding to any treatment. I think we need to talk about euthanization.”

Ali and Ashlyn had another tough decision to make about whether or not to let the kids come and say goodbye to their beloved Persey. It had been just over 2 years since they had lost Fred but those were an important 2 years of growth and maturity for the kids. Instead of 10, 8, and 6, the kids were 12, 10, and 8 now. Drew in particular had always regretted not being able to say goodbye to Fred and the moms didn’t want to put the kids through that again. Closure, however painful, was almost always best. Ali and Ashlyn drove home and picked the kids up from school, waiting a few extra minutes for Drew to get off the bus and make the short walk home. They explained what was going on and let the kids decide for themselves if they wanted to come with them to say hello to Logan and goodbye to Persey. Understandably, they were all upset. Lily was inconsolable and latched onto Ali for the rest of the afternoon and evening, never straying more than an arm’s reach away from her Mom. 

Ali and Ashlyn tried to be as positive and supportive as possible but it was extremely difficult. They were both so angry about Oliver Pitman’s comments the night before that it was almost all either one of them could think about. Ashlyn had started down the driveway twice that night after Ali told her what had happened, but the brunette talked her out of it both times. What Ali did do was call the police and tell them exactly what the little punk had said to her. She still had to go to the station to make an official report, and she was planning to do it the next day, after putting Persey to sleep and helping her children cope with the loss.

The two moms made a calculated plan to say goodbye to Persey first and then spend some time in one of the visitation rooms with Logan before heading back home. That way the last thing the kids would do was spend time with the recovering young dog that would help them grieve for the one they were losing. Meg drove to the vet hospital in Woburn to join them too. She had loved Persey even longer than the other kids had and had been devastated not to be there when Fred died. The plan this time worked well, even for the adults. Logan had continued to improve steadily as the day wore on and was well on her way to being as good as new. But saying goodbye to Persey had been gutwrenching. It had been hard enough for Ali and Ashlyn – grown-ass women, to say goodbye to Fred two years earlier. Now, saying goodbye to Persey and watching their children cry as they hugged and held the poor old brindled dog was almost too much to bear. Just like with Fred, the vet staff had wheeled Persey in on a small gurney and the dog was alive and awake but really out of it. Her breathing was labored and she wheezed and whimpered as she drifted in and out of sleep from moment to moment. She wasn’t in any pain. The vet had given her drugs to keep her comfortable once Ali and Ashlyn had agreed to put her to sleep as soon as the kids had said goodbye. Ashlyn was beside herself as she sank into the sadness that afternoon. She held it together just enough, for the kids, but just barely.

Ultimately, Persey died from kidney failure as a result of poisoning. Mass Vet filed a report stating the believed cause of the poisoning with the Gloucester Police Department. Nobody accused the Pitmans of anything just yet, but the entire Krieger family knew the horrible new neighbors were to blame. There wasn’t a shred of a doubt among any of them. It was another long drive home after stopping for dinner to avoid as much of the rush hour traffic out of Boston as possible. Meg went with them, wanting to stay the night and be with her family. Ashlyn and Drew rode with her in the redhead’s Jeep, following Ali and the 3 youngest kids in the minivan. As quiet as Meg’s Jeep was, the minivan was surprisingly noisy. All three kids peppered Ali with questions about Persey and how much pain she had been in and how long it would take her to get to heaven and every other kind of cute, sweet, heartbreaking question you could think of. Ali was grateful for all the questions because she could focus on them and the kids instead of letting her growing rage towards the Pitmans take over her entire brain.

The minivan pulled into the driveway just after 7pm and Ali ushered the kids into the house. She glanced down the driveway and was relieved not to see Oliver Pitman again. She wasn’t sure she would have been able to control herself if she had seen him that evening. In fact, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to control herself the next time she saw him period, regardless of when it was. 

It wasn’t long before Meg pulled into the driveway with Ashlyn and Drew. The sky was already starting to darken, with sunset coming around 8:00pm that time of year. It was actually a beautiful, temperate evening – the kind of evening that would have been perfect to take the dogs for a walk. Ashlyn clenched her jaw at the thought and tried to shake the Pitmans out of her head as she walked around the back of the Jeep, moving towards the house. She had seen the Donaldson’s lights on next door and the rough outline of either Julie or Neil moving around the kitchen table. It might have even been 17-year old Micky for all the keeper knew. She wasn’t processing things clearly anymore. She was too sad and too angry and too tired and she missed her dogs. She was hoping her head would be clearer after stopping for dinner, but it hadn’t helped. Not yet anyway. She was just about to put her hand on the top of Drew’s head, her favorite way to touch the boy as they walked anywhere together, when she heard it.

“Sorry to hear about your dogs” a hateful voice spoke to the keeper from much closer than she expected. She turned her head to see Andy Pitman standing at the foot of her driveway, leaning casually on their mailbox, with a big grin on his face. “It’s a real shame they won’t be around anymore. A reeeaaall shame” he stretched the word out and made an awful-looking fake-eek face before laughing cruelly.

Both Meg and Drew heard him too and stopped to watch the little performance he was giving. If they had been just a bit faster or maybe a bit more psychic, they might have been able to stop what happened next. Or maybe not. Ashlyn was a woman on a mission. She didn’t even say anything at first. No words left her lips. All that came from her throat was a low growl that built in intensity and volume in the brief time it took her to sprint the 20’ to the foot of her driveway.

“Ash, don’t!” Meg called vainly after her as she and Drew looked down the driveway. She wanted to try and...do something, anything, but the blonde was too fast.

Ashlyn launched herself at the vile man, adjusting her trajectory at the last second when he realized she was actually going to tackle him and tried to step out of the way.

“You fucking asshole” she seethed as she drove her shoulder into his stomach and knocked him backwards, landing on top of him with a satisfying grunt. “What the hell is wrong with you?! Who poisons dogs?! You’re sick, you fucking piece of shit!” she yelled, unleashing all of the pent-up anger and anxiety and grief that was flooding her system.

“Get off of me!” he pushed her just enough so he could squeeze out from under her, but she jumped quickly to her feet. “You’re crazy” he pushed her again as he stood up.

She did look crazy, she had to give him that one. They stared at each other for a few seconds, only an inch difference in their height. Andy was 5’10” with an average build and not much else going on physically. Meg and Drew moved part way down the driveway, a few feet behind Ashlyn, unsure of what to do.

“Oh I’m the crazy one huh?” the keeper fumed at her neighbor. “Who’s the sicko who laces hotdogs with antifreeze to poison dogs? Helpless dogs!! You fucking prick. You killed my dog!” Ashlyn wailed and ran at him again, so angry that she couldn’t even be upset about crying in front of Andy Pitman.

Andy must have had some wrestling experience because he was able to absorb the next tackle and spin Ashlyn around. But instead of shedding her altogether, as was his plan, the keeper clung to him, steadied her feet on the street and drove at him again, pushing him back onto the driveway. She grabbed two fistfuls of his polo shirt and slammed him into the blacktop before straddling him and pinning him to the ground. Tears streamed down her furious face as she continued to ball.

“You killed my dog...” she blubbered, clearly starting to fall apart and give up.

But instead of lying there and letting another therapeutic moment go by, Andy Pitman had to open his big, terrible mouth again.

“That’s right you fucking dyke! You bitch!” he yelled into Ashlyn’s face, lifting his head up off the ground as far as he could in his own fit of anger, veins bulging in his neck. “I killed your stupid dogs! They ate those hot dogs before I could even turn around to leave the fence” he laughed malevolently. “Stupid fucking dogs. Just as dumb as their stupid fucking freak owners!!” he cackled again. 

Ali had come out the mudroom door to see what all the yelling was about, and both Julie and Neil Donaldson had done the same from their side of the driveway. Drew hadn’t moved a muscle, he still stood there with Persey’s collar in one hand and his phone in the other. Meg was about to pull Ashlyn off of the horrible man when it happened. Something in Ashlyn snapped. The insults about she and Ali, or the cruel laughter, or the admission of killing Persey, any of them could have been the trigger. Whatever it was, caused Ashlyn to cock her arm and punch him in the face, hard. She sat up quickly after landing the big blow and blinked a couple of times, as if waking up from a dream. She sat there with a look of horror on her face, cradling her aching right hand with her left. What the fuck had she done? How the hell was she in this same position again? On top of another human being and...and...attacking them? The keeper had sworn to herself that she would never again let herself get into that position, no matter what. And now here she was, 17 months after nearly choking Emily to death, about to pummel the sorry excuse for a human being from across the street into submission. 

He put his arms up, protecting his head and face as he howled in shock and in pain. Ali and both Donaldsons moved quickly to the combatants, but there were no more punches for Andy Pitman to defend himself against. The keeper was stunned and looked like she might be in shock. She sat there, motionless, for another long minute.

“Get her off me! Get this crazy dyke bitch off me!”

Meg wrapped her up from behind and pulled her backwards, off of him. Ashlyn offered no resistance.

“What the hell is going on out here?” Ali’s commanding voice got everybody’s attention as she tried to assess the situation.

“She...she attacked me!” Andy gasped out, looking at the blood on his hand from where he had just touched his face. “I think she broke my nose” he sniveled. “You all saw it!” he turned his head from side to side, looking from Ali to Meg and Drew and over to the Donaldsons. “Somebody call the police!”

“Somebody should call the police” Meg spoke up, her voice full of outrage and her eyes fiery as she knelt on the driveway with Ashlyn still in her arms. “He just admitted to poisoning the dogs” she looked up at Ali. “He threw the hotdogs over the fence into the backyard.”

“You son of a bitch...” Ali’s voice was low and her eyes narrowed to slits as she stared at the man on her driveway. She crouched down to check on her wife. “Are you ok?” she asked softly, cupping Ashlyn’s chin and turning her head so they were face to face.

“Yeah” Ashlyn nodded. “I’m sor...”

“Shhhh...” Ali shushed her and gave her a serious nod. She brushed the hair back away from her face and wiped the tears off of her cheeks, all the while locking eyes with her. “It’s ok. Just be still. Meg’s got you now.”

“Andy?” a meek voice sounded from the street. “Is everything ok?”

“No, everything’s not ok!” the man snapped at his wife, still trying to see how much his nose was bleeding. “Call the police, right now. This...”

“You watch your mouth” Neil Donaldson interrupted as he stepped closer. His typically good-natured voice was stern and unyielding. “I’ve heard enough out of you.”

Ali looked over her shoulder at Julie and the nurse moved to kneel next to her. They whispered together for a few seconds and then Ali stood up. She was disappointed to see the three youngest kids standing inside the mudroom, watching and listening through the screen door. She glanced behind Meg and saw Drew – wide-eyed and pale-looking. She sighed. That would all have to wait until later. She pulled her phone from her back pocket and dialed 9-1-1.

By the time the police and ambulance arrived 10 minutes later, more neighbors had come over to find out what had happened. The Donaldsons shared the news quietly and discreetly, wanting to make sure the neighborhood knew that Andy Pitman had poisoned both dogs in their own yard. Brittany and Oliver Pitman were both standing at the foot of the driveway while Andy clutched his nose and muttered angrily to no-one in particular. Ali had asked Meg to take the kids inside the house and wait there, which the redhead did. But they huddled inside the mudroom, quiet as mice as they listened and watched with wide-eyes through the screen door again. Julie and Ali talked with Ashlyn and made sure she was alright. The nurse was afraid she’d broken a bone in her hand but the keeper was certain it wasn’t that bad.

“I’m sorry you got dragged into this” Ashlyn apologized to Julie, keeping her voice low. “I didn’t mean to hurt him, but he kept saying...awful things...”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about” Julie gave her a warm smile. “And he’ll be fine. Big baby. Why is it the ones with the biggest mouths are always the biggest babies?”

“Did I really break his nose?”

“You did” the nurse nodded approvingly at her and leaned in to whisper. “I could have set it for him but he doesn’t deserve my help” she shrugged. “There’s nothing in the Nightingale Pledge that says I have to help assholes who poison dogs.”

Two officers, a man and a woman, arrived and took statements from both Ashlyn and Andy Pitman. It wasn’t Officer Fulkerson and both Ali and Ashlyn were disappointed. But their favorite police officer had been promoted recently and was now one of 6 Sergeants in the department, in charge of supervising, training and motivating the officers in his command. Ali in particular was really hoping to see a friendly face in uniform that evening, but no such luck. The whole time the female officer was taking Ashlyn’s statement, Meg kept trying to get the brunette’s attention from the mudroom. She had heard Andy Pitman loudly lie through his teeth about what had happened and who had said what.

“I asked you to take them inside” Ali frowned at the redhead as they spoke quietly through the screen door.

“Mommy, is Mama in trouble?” Dodge asked anxiously. He was their police kid. Anything having to do with the police got Dodge’s attention and held it. “Where’s Officer Fulkerson?”

Ali ignored the question long enough to give Meg an annoyed look before speaking quickly and quietly to the kids.

“Everything’s going to be fine” she tried to give them a reassuring smile. “Mama might have to go to the police station to fill out a report, but we don’t know that yet.”

“Al, wait” Meg’s insistent voice stopped her as she turned to go back to Ashlyn and the officer.

“What is it Meg?” her eyes flashed impatiently.

“Here” she offered Drew’s phone to the brunette. “Drew recorded the whole thing, well, he missed the very beginning.”

“Are you kidding me?” Ali opened the screen door and took the phone, locking eyes with Meg and asking without using words if he had recorded the confession.

“It’s there” Meg nodded at the phone. “He didn’t think it would be necessary, but after we heard what Mr. Pitman said...” she paused as a bolt of anger passed across her face, “after he lied...”

“Nice job buddy” Ali smiled at Drew through the screen door. “You too” she nodded at Meg.

Ashlyn did indeed have to go to the police station, but not until she went to the ER to get the broken bone in her hand set first. Julie Donaldson’s assessment had been correct after all. The officer had been about to arrest Ashlyn for assault until Ali played her the video from Drew’s phone. That changed everything. Both Donaldsons and Meg had given their statements that corroborated the keeper’s account of the incident. But Andy Pitman’s well-told lies and his busted nose made a very convincing argument on his behalf. Once the video was played, everything changed. Andy flailed and blustered, too dumb to know when to go down in defeat. He told more lies and tried everything he could think of to convince the officer that Ashlyn was the party at fault that night. 

“Do you want the good news or the bad news?” Sergeant Fulkerson asked Ashlyn and Whitney as he walked into the interview room where they sat waiting to find out the keeper’s fate. 

Whitney had been Ali’s second phone call, immediately after 9-1-1, and the lawyer had made the drive up to Gloucester to help her friends out.

“Bad news, please start with it and get it over with” Ashlyn begged, her voice sounding completely exhausted in every way possible. 

The pain from her broken hand was excruciating and she hadn’t taken the full dose of pain pills yet because she wanted to get her statement out of the way with the clearest head possible. She was regretting almost every decision she had made since stepping out of Meg’s Jeep that night.

“Ok, Mr. Pitman is insisting on filing assault charges against you.”

“Shocker” Whitney deadpanned and rolled her eyes. She had heard all of the stories about what a shitheel Andy Pitman was.

“But...” the sergeant raised his eyebrows for emphasis, keeping his face serious the whole time. “Gloucester PD is not interested in pursuing those charges at this time.”

“Oh thank God” Ashlyn exhaled and closed her eyes for a second.

“And that’s the good news I assume?” Whitney looked at Sgt Fulkerson anxiously.

“It is good news but it’s not THE good news” he hesitated for just a second before continuing. “With the video confession from the cellphone, we’re going to be able to get him to confess in here, for real, with witnesses and everything.”

“But isn’t the video inadmissible because he didn’t give his consent to being recorded?” the lawyer clarified.

“You’re right” he nodded. “But he doesn’t know that...”

“Well isn’t his counsel telling him that?” Whitney’s face registered shock.

“He, ah, he’s too smart for that” Sgt Fulkerson chuckled softly. “He waived his right to an attorney because he doesn’t think he’s gonna get caught. He thinks he’ll be able to talk his way out of this, like he does everything else.”

“Is he really that cocky?” the lawyer asked, still stunned by the level of stupidity Andy Pitman was displaying.

“He is” the sergeant nodded with a broad smile.

It was almost 2:00am when Whitney and Ashlyn got back to the big old house and collapsed onto the couch in the family room. The house was quiet and dark and both women were painfully aware of the absence of dogs. Walking through the mudroom door without a wagging, whining, warm welcome was completely foreign – to everybody. 

“Hey” Ali’s worried voice greeted them from the fireplace between the kitchen and the family room, near the bottom of the backstairs. She was in her pajamas – comfy Boston Pride hockey t-shirt and soft cotton pj pants. Her hair was in a messy bun and she pushed her glasses up higher onto her nose as she crossed to the couch. “What happened?” she asked as she hugged each woman in turn.

Meg joined them, quietly coming down the front stairs as soon as she heard the car pull into the driveway. The four women sat in the family room and talked about the evening’s events in hushed tones. Ali made tea and made sure Ashlyn took her pain pill with a protein bar as she had done so many times before. Ashlyn still looked shell-shocked and very pale as she sat among three of the women who loved her most in the world.

“So he DID call a lawyer, finally?” Meg shook her head after Whitney had filled them in on the details from the police station. It was hard to believe the level of arrogance it must have taken for Andy Pitman to think he didn’t need legal representation.

“He did” Whitney nodded with a small smile on her tired face. “But they had already gotten him to confess to poisoning the dogs” she squeezed Ashlyn’s good hand as she spoke the words again, “before he changed his mind.”

“So...” Ali held her breath, waiting for someone to spell things out for her overworked brain.

“So we don’t need the video because they have an official confession from him. They used it to convince him that they didn’t need his confession” the lawyer yawned. “He was so sure of himself but he had no idea what he was doing. Idiot.”

“So what happens to you now?” Ali snuggled into her wife’s side, worried that she still hadn’t said very much at all.

“Nothing” Ashlyn shrugged limply.

“The department chose not to pursue the assault charge that Pitman insisted on filing” Whitney explained. “And after the confession, even if they did follow through with the assault charge, the DA would never try to prosecute because he’d never win.”

“Really?” Meg questioned, glancing quickly at Ali and then back to the lawyer.

“She punched him once. There were multiple credible witnesses, all of whom backed Ash” Whitney nodded at her best friend. “And there were certainly extenuating circumstances that anybody would understand and sympathize with.”

“Oh thank God” Ali exhaled and closed her eyes in relief. “Thank God” she repeated in a whisper as she pressed a kiss into her keeper’s cheek.

“Sergeant Fulkerson was also prepared to vouch for you, for both of you” Whitney continued through another yawn. “And your neighbors made sure to call in and offer to make supporting statements about how awesome you guys are too.”

“Wow” Meg’s face lit up. “Mrs. D said she was going to rally the troops, I didn’t know she could do it so fast.”

“I’m sure all the bad reports about the Pitmans already on file had something to do with it too” Ali added with a shake of her head. “God I hate them” she admitted. “And I do mean hate. All of them, except Bella. I swear she has to be adopted or something because she’s too good for those assholes.”

“I can’t figure out Brittany” Ashlyn’s ragged voice finally joined the conversation. “Why is she with him? Why does she stay with him?”

“I know. I feel so bad for her but she’s just as awful” the brunette frowned. “I want to help her but she makes it impossible. As soon as anybody is nice to her she lashes out, it’s almost like it’s her own defense mechanism or something. I don’t know” she shook her head in frustration. “They’ve lived across the street for a year and a half now and she’s never once been nice or even just normal. She’s always looking for a fight, even with the kids at school events.”

“Maybe she really is just as bad as he and the kid are?” Whitney shrugged. “Maybe they were made for each other? I don’t know. But what I do know is he’s going to prison for killing Persey and trying to kill Logan and I love you both for not backing down on that” she gave Ali and Ashlyn a fierce look, riled up again at the thought of what that piece of shit did to the two innocent dogs.

“He has to be convicted though, right?” Meg clarified, still looking worried about the outcome.

“Yes. And when he is convicted he’ll get 10 years in prison and a $10,000 fine, if the jury does their job” the lawyer’s eyes still flashed as she spoke. “And almost everybody hates people who abuse animals. It’s practically universal.”

“I thought it was 7 years...” Ali tried to get her mind to work but it was so late and the last two days had been so stressful. She had done a quick google search about the potential punishment while she waited anxiously for news of her wife that night.

“That’s if you’re only an asshole who kills one animal” Whitney quirked her eyebrow. “When you’re a big enough piece of shit who kills, or tries to kill, two...then you get more time and a bigger fine.”

“It’s not enough” Ashlyn frowned. Her face had much of the same fire that Whitney’s did, but it was taking all of her strength to keep her eyes open. She was angry but about to pass out from the pain pill and the trauma of the past two days. “It’ll never be enough.”

After Meg went up to bed and Whitney snuggled into the makeshift bed Ali made for her on the family room couch, the brunette helped her keeper up the backstairs.

“Oh” Ashlyn hesitated at the foot of the stairs and turned to face the mudroom, almost on auto-pilot by that point. “I’ve gotta let the dogs out...”

She realized her mistake almost instantly and tears started to slide down her cheeks again. Ali hugged her and held her close, speaking softly into her ear and kissing her jaw and cheek between the words.

“It’s ok honey, shhhh...one more night without having to do that, just one more night, then Logan will be home, ok?” she soothed, feeling her own heart clench at the painful reminder that Persey would never again come home. “We’ll go get her tomorrow and she’ll help us all feel better. It’s ok babe. Everything’s gonna be ok.”

It took a long time to get the keeper up the backstairs because she was so tired and a little wobbly from the pain pill. It was 3:00am and both women felt like shells of human beings. They were hollow from grief and anger and worry and relief and sorrow. And they were going to have to get up in less than 4 hours to get the kids to school. Maybe tomorrow would be a sick day for everybody. Maybe that’s what they all needed – to be together and to go get Logan together and to start grieving Persey together. It was already Friday morning. Take the day off and then they could have the weekend to try and deal with everything and get the kids ready to go back to school on Monday.

“Honey, are you asleep yet?” Ali asked softly once they were both settled into bed, the keeper’s injured right hand propped up on two pillows next to her side to keep it elevated and, hopefully, still during the night. 

Not surprisingly, Ashlyn had a ‘boxer’s fracture’ in her right hand. But she didn’t break her pinky finger knuckle like most people do. She broke her ring finger knuckle instead which was more painful and took longer to heal. The good news was that the punch hadn’t damaged her already surgically repaired right pinky finger. The x-rays showed that it was a pretty clean break and, luckily, she didn’t need surgery to set the tiny bones with pins. She had a big splint that immobilized all three fingers of her right hand – only her index finger and thumb were free from the corrective device. If all went well, she could start removing the splint and doing therapy exercises on her finger and hand in 3-4 weeks. She had resigned herself to just dealing with the splint until she got home from England after the WWC.

“What’s the matter?” Ashlyn’s groggy voice spoke and she tried to open her heavy eyelids without success. She turned her head towards her wife instead, hoping that would be enough.

“Nothing...I just want to tell you how much I love you and how proud I am of you. That’s all” the brunette’s voice sounded almost as tired as her wife’s did. She curled into Ashlyn’s side and felt her whole body relax almost instantly. Both of their bodies did, finally safe and secure in their bed and in each other’s arms. 

“But...”

“Shhhh...just sleep now babe. I just wanted to make sure you know, in case you start to doubt it while your mind spins things around in there” she hummed into the kiss she leaned up and gave to Ashlyn’s cheek. “I love you and your big heart and I’m so sorry it’s broken right now. But we’ll be ok. It’ll take a little while, but we’ll all be ok” she kissed her keeper again, her lips soft as feathers against Ashlyn’s skin. “And I’m so fucking proud of you for what you did in the driveway tonight...”

“You are?” the blonde forced her eyes open and turned to look into sincere chocolate ones. “But why?”

“I’m proud of you for defending our family, first of all” the brunette reached up to cup her wife’s face, tenderly running her thumb across Ashlyn’s cheekbone. “I’m not kidding, I looked down that driveway when I got home with the kids and I thanked God there was no Pitman there because I would have done the exact same thing you did.”

“Really?”

“I swear to God babe. I literally thanked God for the empty driveway.”

They were both quiet for a minute, Ali giving her wife time to take in her words.

“I’m glad it was me and not you” Ashlyn whispered as sleep took a deeper hold of her.

“I’m sorry it was you and not me” Ali replied. “You always get stuck carrying the heavy things. I want to do it for a change. You deserve a break.”

“So many assholes in the world...” the keeper tried to joke but couldn’t pull it off. 

They were quiet for another few seconds but Ali was afraid they’d fall asleep before she got out what she wanted to say. She kept going.

“I’m most proud of you for stopping though” she traced slow circles into the top of Ashlyn’s chest with her fingertips. “I don’t know how you did it, you’re so strong Ashlyn. So so fucking strong. I know I wouldn’t have been able to stop if it had been me. I would have kept going until you pulled me off of him” her voice was low and serious, despite the exhaustion filling it. “I don’t know how you can be so strong baby” she shook her head slightly as she considered the mental toughness of her keeper. “You’re incredible and we’re so lucky to have you always looking out for us. Thank you” she choked out the last few words as her emotions finally got the better of her.

Ashlyn felt her wife’s tears landing softly on her shoulder and gave her a squeeze with her good arm. She leaned down and waited for the brunette to meet her lips with a kiss. It was a kiss full of so many different emotions they seemed to change by the second. Ali reached up and pulled her wife’s face closer, her hand at the back of Ashlyn’s head, as the kiss went on. It wasn’t passionate and fiery like when they were about to have sex. It wasn’t sweet or soft like when they were living their daily lives and trying to find a small connection from time to time throughout their busy days. It was a solid, strong, earnest kiss that reminded them both how much they relied on the other. There was some desperation in the kiss as well. Ali was desperate to let her keeper know how much she loved and respected and admired her, even though neither of them was perfect. And Ashlyn was desperate to show her beautiful brunette how much she appreciated her faith and support in her. Ali’s support had always been unwavering. She had always seen through the outer layers of whatever was going on and into the center of what was coursing through Ashlyn’s heart and mind. Nobody had ever understood her the way Ali did. Nobody. And that night when she was too tired to even try and explain her thoughts and emotions to the brunette, she knew deep down that she didn’t have to. Ali had done it for her, praising her for her courage and strength while still making sure she knew how hard it must have been for her to be in that position again. She was proud of Ashlyn for defending their family but even more proud of her for stopping herself from completely losing it out there on the driveway. The absolute best part of this whole early-morning half-asleep conversation was that Ashlyn knew without a shadow of a doubt that Ali would still have loved her and forgiven her and praised her even if she had lost her mind out there. Ali always accepted her, even if she didn’t quite understand all of it at first. That was such a tremendous gift and Ashlyn knew, for probably the millionth time, that there was no other human being on the planet who could be better for her than Alexandra Blaire Krieger. Fuck, she was a lucky woman. And she would happily spend the rest of her life trying to earn Ali’s respect and love and admiration. The keeper knew that drive in herself to be a better person for her wife, to be the person that Ali deserved, had been the biggest reason she had stopped at one punch in the driveway. She knew it without a doubt and the idea that the two soulmates actually made each other better human beings is what finally put the smallest smile on the keeper’s face as they snuggled closer and drifted off to sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I didn't post last night - I just got home from babysitting the nieces and nephews and never got a chance to post. I apologize.


	24. WWC 2031 Part 1

Great Britain in June and July could be downright chilly if the winds came in off the Atlantic just right. Or if they came in off the North Sea just right. The average low temperatures were 50-53 degrees Fahrenheit and the average highs were 66-69 degrees. In general, the southern and eastern section of Great Britain was the most temperate area and stayed the driest and got the hottest throughout the summer. Great Britain, or the United Kingdom as it was more commonly called, was comprised of England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland. It was an island nation in North Western Europe, separated from France and the mainland of Europe to the south by the English Channel. The North Atlantic Ocean and Celtic Sea was to the West, and the North Sea to the East, with the Republic of Ireland off the west coast. Both Ali and Ashlyn had spent time travelling in Europe when they had lived in Germany in their younger, single days, and when Ashlyn had travelled with the Youth National Team. They had visited many of the countries in Europe and enjoyed a lot of different things about all of them. But neither of them had ever spent much time in England or the UK before. They weren’t exactly sure why, other than whatever the other alternative location had been had always seemed more exciting or more interesting than England had at the time. They were both a little embarrassed by it, if they were being honest.

When Ashlyn signed on to be a part of the WWC 2031 in the UK, Ali had jumped at the chance to visit someplace new. They both wanted to take the kids to the place where so much of world history had happened. The older the kids got and the more they learned about the rest of the world, the luckier their moms felt about being able to show them some of those places in person. Watching Dodge’s face get excited about the Tower of London or Lily’s about Buckingham Palace made all of the annoyances of travelling with 4 younger kids worth it. And then some. When Ali, Grandpa, and Papa arrived with the four kids, plus Ethan Machado, Ashlyn felt her whole being start to realign and refocus – for the better.

It had only been a week since the dogs started throwing up before Ashlyn, Meg and Gwen flew out of Logan airport in Boston and landed at Glasgow International airport in Scotland. The USWNT hadn’t played a major tournament in the UK since the 2012 Olympics. England, UK had hosted the EUROs back in 2021 and had switched things up a bit for that tournament, re-routing host cities and stadiums to see if they could make the 2012 scenario more efficient. Turns out, they couldn’t. Both logistical paths worked just as well so the 2031 WWC tournament organizers decided to just change up the cities a little bit to keep things fresh and to bring some added tourism dollars to more locales in the UK. Back in 2012 the USWNT had started up in Glasgow Scotland for their group games with a foray down to Manchester, England. Manchester was in the Northern half of England, about halfway between Glasgow, Scotland to the North and London, England to the Southeast. The USWNT then played the knockout round game in Newcastle, England on the east coast halfway between Manchester and Glasgow. Those were the three cities in the UK that made up the northern half of the tournament. The southern half included London itself, Coventry – which was halfway between London and Manchester to the north, and then Cardiff, Wales which was situated on the south western edge of the UK. The other half of the teams played their group games in those three cities and then the final game was played in Wembley Stadium in London.

They shook it up for the 2021 EUROs but were back to that basic 3 cities in the North and 3 cities in the South plan for the 2031 WWC. 

The USWNT was again starting the tournament up in gloomy Glasgow, as far away as possible from the hustle and bustle of London. The old USWNT videos of the team having fun touring one of the castles used for filming the Harry Potter movies had been taken near Glasgow. Everybody remembered how funny it had been when overzealous Kelley O’Hara wiped out hard during some quidditch broom practice. She slipped and landed on her ass claiming she had been sniped from up above by the enemy. It was hysterical and the fans ate it up as they followed the team all the way to the gold medal back in 2012. This year’s version of the USWNT would play their group games in Glasgow and Manchester, with the knockout round in Sunderland instead of Newcastle. Nobody minded the similarity to the 2012 schedule. At all. The three southern cities were London again, and Birmingham instead of Coventry, and Swansea in Wales instead of Cardiff in Wales. 

Ashlyn, Meg and Gwen spent 10 days in Glasgow for games 1 and 2 of the group stage, arriving on Wednesday June 4th, a few days before the first game on June 9th, so the blonde could meet with her broadcast team and get used to the time change. They watched the USWNT beat Japan in game 1 and then Iceland in game 2 and had an incredible time exploring the Scottish moors, castles, and sometimes ancient football pitches that seemed to spring up out of nowhere. The two young soccer players ate up the culture and history of the beautiful game and Ashlyn had a wonderful time sharing the experience with them when she wasn’t working with the broadcast team. It wasn’t all fun and games for Ashlyn though. There was research to do on the teams and there were always meetings before and after every match to make sure the broadcast group was on the same page. Most of the crew were travelling with their families as well and it was a nice, welcoming environment for everybody. Ashlyn couldn’t help but notice how much easier it was with just mostly-grown college kids instead of younger children who you had to worry about every minute of the day. It was a lot less hectic with Meg and Gwen. Ashlyn had no doubt that the two young women could cross the street without getting hit by a car and navigate the hotel and the elevators without getting lost. If she hadn’t still been so sad about losing Persey, and almost losing more of her humanity in the driveway, the keeper would have been having the time of her life during the 14 total days she spent with just Meg and Gwen.

The highlight of the trip for the young women was the trip to Old Trafford Stadium in Manchester, England. It was one of the most storied and beloved football pitches in the entire world. For football and soccer fanatics it was kind of the equivalent of going to Disney World when you were a kid. It was just the absolute best place you could dream of being. It was hallowed ground. The only thing that came close to Old Trafford was meeting the players, many of whom had grown up idolizing Ashlyn Harris – the goalkeeper who never made it to the Senior national team but probably should have. When Ashlyn retired in 2022, the players on the current USWNT had been anywhere from 13 – 22 years old. They all knew who Ashlyn was and had dreamed of growing up to be just like her. They were more than happy to talk with Meg and Gwen and to offer them some inspiration and advice for their own young careers. 

The wily veterans on the USWNT, the oldest holdouts from the bronze-medal winning Olympic team back in 2028, were Frankie Tagliaferi, Madison Haley, and Becca Hamilton all 31 years old, and Jojo Harbor who was 32 and still one of the team captains. Mallory Pugh had done everything in her power to make the team at the age of 33 but Coach Harvey had to make the difficult decision to leave the long-time captain off of the roster. The USWNT was still the toughest team in the world to earn and keep a spot on and the competition for those spots had only gotten fiercer as the US Soccer Federation had vastly improved the youth system over the past decade or so. The 8 players who had been on the 2028 team when they were between 23 and 26 years old were all back again on this team, forming a tight-knit core that had all been some of the youngest players on the 2027 WWC team. It was a good group of women who had done their fair share of winning and losing on the biggest stages in the world. They had finished in third place on home soil in the 2027 WWC which had been held in venues all up and down the east coast of the United States. They would never forget how terrible it felt to not even be able to compete for the championship in their home country. Their results weren’t any better at the 2028 Olympics though, finishing in third place and taking home another disappointing bronze medal from France.

Laura Harvey was now in her 10th year as head coach and, while some were calling for her removal after the two, consecutive 3rd place finishes, she still had support from most of the fanbase. There had been major injuries to key players in both 2027 and 2028 tournaments that would have been impossible to predict or plan any better for. The talk since then had been about how good the team could be if they were healthy. The world was about to find out. The USWNT was coming into the 2031 WWC as healthy as they’d ever been, and their confidence was also cresting. The challenge with this team was the youth of the strikers up front. Only Madison Haley, 31, and Sunshine Fontes, 26, had been with the team in 2028, and Fontes hadn’t seen any meaningful time then. The other 4 forwards in the 2031 squad were 21, 22, 22, and 23 years old and had only recently gotten routine call-ups with the senior team. It was a frightening thought for everybody – relying on such inexperienced youth. But Coach Harvey believed in them, and their teammates believed in them. The whole country was hoping that would be enough to allow the USWNT to find success on the world’s biggest stage again.

“How nervous do we need to be about this?” Heather O’Reilly asked the panel of experts that had been collected to commentate on every aspect of the WWC 2031. At the moment they were doing a preview show, two days before the tournament was scheduled to begin. 

The former USWNT midfielder extraordinaire had been working hard in front of the cameras for over 10 years now and had been tabbed to be the next Rebecca Lowe, only without the British accent; the next Julie Foudy only with a bit more substance and seriousness. HAO was the anchor of the whole broadcast team this time around and she was more than ready for the challenge. The rest of the broadcast team was a combination of familiar and new. Like the NWSL and its efforts to revitalize some of the faces and images, a similar change was happening all throughout women’s soccer broadcasting and commentating. There were more women than ever in those roles and they were being given more of a chance to talk and express their views without having to fight off some dumb man who the network had brought in to lend credibility to the production but who didn’t actually know his ass from his elbow when it came to the women’s game. We all know those guys. They probably mean well enough, but they don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. These are the guys who can’t tell the players apart because there are too many brunette buns on the pitch and it gets confusing for them. These are the guys who mispronounce everybody’s name, repeatedly – not even bothering to correct themselves or care enough to try and get it right. These are the guys who talk about what a huge change it is for MF Kayla Doran to be playing Attacking Midfield this time around for the USWNT when she typically plays more of a central role for the national team, even though she plays Attacking Mid for her club team in the NWSL and played the position all through her college career at Boston College as well. But because the dumb guy couldn’t read that on the last few USWNT roster notes, then it didn’t happen. Those dumb guys were almost gone from the game and everybody was better for it. There were still some knowledgeable men who actually gave a damn about women’s soccer and they were always welcome by the woso fans and players. If you knew what you were talking about you were always welcome, man or woman.

Alex Morgan, now 42, had cemented her place in the broadcast world over the years and had become a confident voice among the experts. She had to know her stuff as the owner of the LA Strikers in the NWSL. Alex Scott, the 47-year old former English International defender, had also become somewhat of a media darling since she retired and started talking football for a living. She had honed her skills going up against innumerable dumb British guys as she tried to make her excellent points covering the English Premiere League and UEFA tournaments for the men’s teams. The men’s teams! It had been no easy task and she gained renown for her perseverance and unflappability as much as for her well-regarded soccer IQ. Samantha Mewis, the 39-year old former USWNT captain, had been covering the USWNT for the past three years and her overall intelligence and likeability shone through immediately. She was sometimes the shy one at the table or up in the booth or on the sidelines, but she always managed to summon enough courage to get her point across. 

The producers had tried desperately to get Mallory Pugh to join the broadcast team but she was still too pissed off about not playing for the USWNT that year. She couldn’t do it and all of the former players on the broadcast team understood it. So they turned to Tierna Davidson, 33, instead. They wanted someone the same age as Mallory to try and stay as young as possible among the retirees. With Tierna onboard, Sam Mewis was no longer the shyest person at the table. Tierna was almost painfully quiet and Ashlyn remembered well how difficult it was to come out of your shell in those situations. There were so many eyes on you, hanging on your every word, just waiting for you to mess up. But, the former USWNT defender got better and more confident every time she was on camera and her intellect was always easy to see. That was what had gotten her the job in the first place. She had an extremely popular soccer blog and podcast that she’d been running for a few years – her only challenge there in England was to keep her cool under the hot lights on camera. 

Adding Ashlyn Harris, who would turn 46 in October, completed the broadcast team and she played almost the elder statesman of the group. She could always be counted on to deliver her trademark honesty and had become the go-to person to settle things down and restore order when guests or broadcast team members got too carried away. It was a good group of women who respected each other and worked hard to make each other better. They also had a ton of laughs off-camera which made the month-long tournament schedule bearable. Everybody took turns helping Ashlyn do different things, like cut her food at meals, and tie her shoes, because of her broken hand, which led to all sorts of funny stories that kept them all laughing for the duration. It was Ashlyn who was the only one brave enough to answer HAO’s question about the youth of the forwards on the 2031 WWC team.

“Look, the US is probably going to stick with their 4-3-3 formation and use Madison Haley and Sunshine Fontes as 2 of the 3 starters” she explained carefully. “Playing a younger player up there with them doesn’t scare me at all” she shook her head as she continued, her face serious.

“But who will it be do you think?” Alex Morgan asked.

“Honestly” Ashlyn looked from woman to woman at the desk with her, garnering her strength to make her bold prediction, “I think it’s going to be Honey Dawkins.”

Both Alexes and HAO sucked in breaths or gasped out breaths when they heard Ashlyn name the youngest of the 4 young strikers on the team.

“Wow Ash” Sam Mewis chuckled. “That’s a prediction” she smiled, wide-eyed, at the former-keeper.

“I think she’s right” Tierna Davidson nodded at Ashlyn. “Dawkins is fast, strong, fearless...” she paused for a second, realizing the world was watching her right at that moment, “she’s big and she’s hungry. She’s got an interesting mix of power and finesse that we haven’t seen in a long time” she finished confidently.

“I completely agree TD” Ashlyn gave her an encouraging smile and grinned as she got excited about the shared opinion on the hottest young player the USWNT had seen in years. “She could be the next Abby Wambach, but better.”

“She’s 21” HAO cautioned. “Let’s not put too much pressure on her now.” It wasn’t lost on any of them how much pressure young HAO had been forced to bear early in her stellar career.

“Well, so let’s say none of the younger forwards work out as starters” Ashlyn kept going, her eyes flashing with passion for the team and the beautiful game itself. “This team has the talent and the flexibility to switch over to a 4-3—1-2, with Haley and Fontes up top and Kayla Doran can slide up and make plays for both of them instead.”

“Or bury it herself” Sam Mewis noted.

Ashlyn had to be careful not to show her favoritism towards Niki’s former star pupil, Kayla Doran. The feisty midfielder had first appeared on the world stage as a 22-year old substitute in the 2027 WWC when she was asked to fill-in because of injuries. She burst into the spotlight the following year in the 2028 Olympics, scoring her first two international goals while filling in again for injured starters. She had only improved since then, becoming the most dynamic attacking midfielder on the USWNT. She was an unquestioned starter now and was known for making just as many dazzling assists and passes as she was for taking long-distance screamers and turning them into golazos. Everybody in the four-families took pride in Kayla Duran’s success because they knew how hard Niki Cross had worked as her coach in high school. Ashlyn loved Duran’s hard-nosed, scrappy approach to the game but was even more impressed by her vision. She could thread a pass through multiple lines and hit one of the forwards in perfect stride. Ashlyn had to really tamp down her excitement over her favorite middie when she was on-air. But as soon as the cameras and microphones were off she was singing Duran’s praises to the rooftops and giving Niki Cross tons of the credit.

“Then when Haley gets subbed out for one of the younger forwards in the second half, they can stay in that formation or switch back to the preferred 4-3-3 and bring in another pair of fresh young legs to close out the game” Alex Morgan added. “21-year old legs last longer than 31-year old legs, I don’t care what anybody says” she laughed knowingly.

“Dawkins can come in and break the game wide open in the final 30 minutes, just like someone else used to do as a younger player” Alex Scott winked at Alex Morgan and the whole desk chuckled approvingly.

“I’m just saying, the team is a good mix of experience and youth. There are strong leaders in that locker room. They’ll make sure the youngsters know what’s what. And I’m excited about seeing what these young forwards can do for the team” Ashlyn finished passionately.

“Well I don’t know about the rest of America, but I feel better about it already. Hell, I want to get back out there myself now!” HAO smiled at Ashlyn and steered the group on to the next topic of conversation.

Meg and Gwen watched the USWNT beat Mexico at Old Trafford in the third and final Group stage game, cinching their top-ranking in the group and securing them a spot in the elimination round 6 days later. The young women took the train down to London for the last 3 days of their trip, reveling in the freedom of leaving Ashlyn and the rest of the extended group behind. Ashlyn had tried her best not to smother the two young women during the trip, but she was still a mom and she still worried. She had explained to Meg years earlier that if she didn’t want a million phone calls or texts from any of her moms, then she needed to send them a quick text letting them know she had arrived safely wherever she had been going. It was just that simple.

“I don’t need a play-by-play or anything, but let me know you’re ok and I’ll leave you alone” the keeper had adopted the same policy they had used all through Meg’s later teen years. “Don’t make me worry.”

Thankfully, Meg was a pretty considerate person and she took the time to shoot Ashlyn some texts as they moved through their days together in Scotland and England. Ashlyn loved sharing the WWC experience with Meg. She loved it more than she thought she would, and she had expected to love it a whole lot. The whole ‘grown up’ Meg thing was really messing with the blonde’s head, but it a good way. She was still only 19 years old, still a teenager really, and there were many times when Ashlyn raised her eyebrows in surprise at just how young Meg still was. She could sound like a knowledgeable collegiate athlete one minute and then dissolve into a fit of giggles like a 12-year old the next. Ashlyn could hear her wife’s voice in her ear during those 14 days in the UK together with Meg and Gwen, ‘remember what was going on in your head and your heart when you were a freshman in college...’. It was excellent advice and Ashlyn tried her hardest to heed it.

One of their favorite things to do together was to watch footage of all the goalkeepers in the tournament. Ashlyn was expected to offer her critical expertise on the keepers as part of her job so she would watch all sorts of film on them and invite Meg to join her. As impactful as having Ashlyn as her defacto goalkeeper coach all her life had been for Meg, those quiet hours the two of them spent analyzing and studying every bit of footwork and body positioning and technique together would prove to be the most instructional gift Ashlyn had ever given the redhead. Ashlyn also liked those film review times because Gwen wasn’t around. It was just she and Meg. Ashlyn liked Gwen just fine, especially when she finally saw the real young woman instead of the cocky jackass that she showed to the rest of the world. But there was something incredibly special about that time together with Meg in that environment that Ashlyn knew she would remember for the rest of her life. She wanted to appreciate it as it was happening too.

The truth was, Meg was as big a lifeline to Ashlyn those 14 days as Ashlyn was a mentor, mom, and coach to the redhead. Ali was torn about what to do after Persey’s death and the ensuing drama with the Pitmans and the police. She didn’t want her wife to have to go off and be by herself as she tried to cope with the loss and the emotional toll the whole spectacle had taken on all of them. It was hard enough to lose a pet, a family member, at all. But to lose her to the kind of cruelty Andy Pitman had displayed was a whole other level of upset and trauma. Ali was worried as hell about sending Ashlyn over to the UK by herself, left to her own devices to try and grieve and cope with everything. Having Meg along was a true saving grace and all three of them knew it. 

“I’m sorry to put you in this position” Ali chewed her bottom lip as she helped Meg fold her laundry, standing at the foot of the redhead’s bed while Meg sat cross-legged on it. 

It was the afternoon before they were scheduled to fly out and Meg was at the big old house, packing for the much-anticipated trip. Ashlyn was at her monthly therapy appointment with Dr. Mattie Olsen and Dr. Cassidy Emerson. Ashlyn had been diligently going every month, and sometimes more often, as she continued to work through the Emily Quindlen issue and the balance of power with the kids issue, among the usual things that cropped up in her psyche from time to time. Ali had been relieved to learn that her wife already had a therapy appointment scheduled before the whole dog trauma had even happened. It felt like winning the lottery to the brunette. Ashlyn had explained to her that she always tried to check in with Mattie before going away for a long trip. The keeper was always better with her brunette by her side and she suffered when she had to be away from her for any length of time. It used to embarrass Ashlyn to acknowledge how much better she felt when Ali was around. But as she got older she stopped caring so much what anybody else thought about it. And as they had faced the recent challenges in their lives together, Ashlyn only found herself needing her wife more. Not surprisingly, Ali felt the same way but to a somewhat smaller degree. Not that she loved and missed her wife any less than Ashlyn missed her, but just that it wasn’t such an issue for her as it seemed to be with Ashlyn. But, Ali wasn’t the one who was travelling to tournaments either. They both still preferred being near each other as much as possible. That wouldn’t change any time soon, if ever. But Ashlyn seemed to need the brunette’s strength a bit more those days. She was trying to be more open about it in hopes of keeping the lines of communication open. But, as usual, admitting the need came at a price. There was no hiding or relying on her own bluster to try and pretend the need wasn’t there. With open communication came honesty. You couldn’t really have one without the other.

Ashlyn was a raw nerve the first week of June. She had made a lot of progress with the balance of power problem between she and Ali that Spring and, especially now that the brunette was back working in the Cambridge office, that was almost completely resolved. Things were back to normal with them and Ashlyn was no longer snapping at Ali and taking out her misunderstood and misplaced resentment on her. But just as one thing got wrapped up and put away, another always seemed to come to the surface. This time it was the Pitmans and the attack on the dogs. It was simply awful timing. Ashlyn was always a bit softer when she travelled for a long trip like the WWC. The separation was hard on the whole family. But to have to deal with physically attacking Andy Pitman, and the resulting comparison to her attacking Emily Quindlen, on top of the separation from her family was definitely not ideal. Then add to that the grief of losing Persey and there was the potential for a major problem with the keeper.

“You didn’t” Meg replied as she haphazardly folded t-shirts and stuffed them into her suitcase. “I miss Persey too and I’m glad we’ll be able to miss her together over there” she shrugged and then smiled softly to herself. “It’s bad timing but what are you gonna do? It’s not like she’s gonna miss the World Cup.”

“I know, but...” Ali paused, hesitant to say too much. “I guess I just wish I could go and keep an eye on her myself, be there for her myself – she doesn’t need a babysitter” she chuckled and rolled her eyes at how silly her words sounded when she heard them. “I’ll check in with her as much as I can. But if she needs me...you know, if you think she’s having a rough time and maybe could just use a quick call or something...”

“Ali, I promise...” she looked up for the first time and saw how concerned the brunette was. “I’ll be there for her. And if she’s not doing ok, I’ll let you know so you can call her and work your magic.”

When Ali, Ken, Mike Harris, Drew, Josie, Dodge, Lily and Ethan arrived in Manchester, England on Saturday June 21st, Ashlyn was beside herself with happiness. She didn’t care that Josie seemed to be getting sick or that the twins couldn’t stop pestering each other and bickering. She was just thrilled to have her family with her after 17 days away. Drew came through the gate first, followed by Ethan and then Ken. Ashlyn watched patiently, waiting for them to see her as she stood waving her hand above her head. They exchanged smiles and she felt the love on Drew’s face when he recognized her, deep in her heart. Dodge was next, with Ashlyn’s own father behind him, holding hands with Lily who had also suckered him into carrying her backpack for her. Ashlyn’s heart swelled with each familiar face that smiled at her, but she found herself still holding her breath, waiting for that one pair of eyes to lock onto hers. Ali finally emerged, head turned back over her shoulder, frown on her face, as she tried to get Josie to keep up with the rest of the group. She also was carrying a purple girl’s backpack in addition to her own purse and large travelling bag that was designed to keep kids entertained and tended to while travelling.

“Mama!” Dodge shouted when he finally saw her. He jumped up and down twice and waved both arms above his head, doing his best to mimic the keeper’s own gestures.

Ashlyn waved to him and blew him a kiss, painfully aware that he would soon think he was too old for the sweet gesture. She saw Ali’s head snap up when the brunette heard her son’s excited shout. There were 20 seconds of searching before tired cinnamon eyes finally met excited hazel ones. There. There it was. Ashlyn let the breath out she had been holding and felt relief flood her system. It had been a rough flight, the keeper could see that just by watching the body language of her family, but they had made it. It took almost two more minutes for them to get to her but she hugged them all as soon as they were within reach. She felt her spirits rise with each hug and kiss until finally, she had Ali in her arms. The brunette dropped all three bags in a heap, which was unlike her, but all she wanted was to feel Ashlyn’s arms around her and nothing more.

“You made it...”  
“I missed you so much...”

They both spoke urgently and softly with their heads over the other’s shoulder in a long, strong hug. Both twins were hugging their Mama from behind – one per leg, and Josie was hanging onto Ali as if she was still a toddler. The brunette didn’t even care. She just held her wife close, breathing her in and trying not to make too big of a scene. She had been so worried about Ashlyn for 17 long days and it felt incredible to be in her arms again.

When they finally pulled apart, Ashlyn began getting the full scoop on the flight from all five kids, all at once. Even Ethan added his two cents to the story, clearly happy to be along on the adventure with his best friend and favorite big, boisterous family. The keeper had arranged for a car service to take them all to the hotel that morning as they tried to fight their jet lag. Ali and the gang had flown out of Boston Friday at 8pm and arrived in England Saturday at almost 8am. It was the best way to try and beat jet lag but it didn’t always work for all the kids. The flight was 6-1/2 hours and England was 5 hours ahead of Boston time-wise so the 12-hour timing swing was right on schedule. They crashed at the hotel and had some lazy naptime and room service breakfast until almost noontime that day. None of the kids had slept very well on the plane which meant none of the adults had slept either. As soon as the excitement of seeing Ashlyn and being at their destination had died down, everybody’s crabbiness had come out in full force. Still Ashlyn didn’t care. She was tired herself because she had been too excited to sleep the night before and had gotten up early to go to the airport to greet the loves of her life.

“Just rest baby, I’ll handle whatever comes up” the keeper urged her wife to close her eyes and take a real nap that morning at the hotel.

“But not too long...” Ali yawned as she changed out of her travelling clothes and into comfy sweats and a t-shirt. “I want everybody up by...”

“12pm” Ashlyn nodded with a smile as she wrapped her wife up again from behind, letting her hands start at her shoulders and quickly massaging her way down her back and then stealing a quick squeeze of her breasts in front. She had gotten pretty good at working around the splint on her right hand over the past 3 weeks. “I got it. I set my alarm, just in case.”

“Mmmm...” Ali sighed and hummed as she felt her body start to relax in her wife’s hands. “I wish you could nap with me.”

“Me too, but I’ll hold you all night long” she kissed the back of Ali’s neck and then helped her into the bed. “That’s a promise.”

The hotel arrangements for the Krieger trip had been made in advance and carefully coordinated. Ashlyn, Ali, and the 5 kids would share a 2 or 3-bedroom suite in each hotel they patronized. Ken and Mike each got their own rooms and were entirely in charge of any grandpa or papa sleepovers that might or might not take place. The suites weren’t necessarily fancy. The word suite typically just meant that it had more than one bedroom in addition to a common area room and at least two bathrooms. Not fancy, just more rooms.

“How do we feel about other nappers?” Ashlyn asked softly as she watched her wife snuggle into the bed and close her eyes. 

“If somebody wants to nap in here that’s fine” she yawned again, “but real nappers only.”

“Got it” Ashlyn couldn’t help but smile. Sometimes a kid thought they wanted to nap but they really just wanted to snuggle a little with one of their moms and it turned out to be painful if she or Ali were really trying to take a nap for some reason. “No fakers allowed.”

It took a day or two but by day three everybody was sleeping through the English night instead of the Boston night. They only stayed in Manchester one night before taking the train North to Sunderland on the East Coast for the elimination game against France. Ali and the kids had fun getting reacquainted with Alex Morgan and her two kids, remembering the younger girls from their time together 3 years earlier in France for the Olympics. Alex’s girls were 6 and 4 years old now and cute as hell. Ashlyn had been playing auntie for them a lot, especially when Meg and Gwen had gone off to do something in the evenings. Sammy Mewis and her husband Pat Johnson had a 3-year old son and a 1-year old daughter with them for the WWC month. Alex Scott brought her 9-year old son with her and one of her best friends and former Arsenal teammates to help her keep an eye on him. Tierna Davidson and her wife were expecting their first child later that year and the former-defender was making the WWC trip solo, or so she thought. Her pregnant wife surprised her the day after Ali and the kids arrived, and nobody had seen a bigger smile on anybody’s face than TD’s in a long time.

The extra nice thing about having Sam Mewis and her family there was that Kristie Mewis was usually not too far behind. Rachel Daly wasn’t about to let the WWC in the UK go on without she and Kristie and the girls there to experience it. And where Sam, Kristie and their four grandchildren, all 5 years old and under, went – Bob and Melissa Mewis were sure to follow. Ashlyn and Ali, along with Whitney and Sydney, had become good friends with both Mewis sisters and their families over the years. Having the whole brood there with them was like an extra gift from the WWC. 

After beating France in Sunderland, the USWNT moved on to face Nigeria in the quarterfinals four days later. The Kriegers and everybody else took the train back to Manchester and Ali was beside herself with anticipation as she got ready to watch a football match in Old Trafford. Ashlyn pulled some strings and got her wife and father-in-law a tour of the stadium that even allowed them access to the pitch itself. Everybody else had already done it the first time through, but it meant the world to the brunette that Ashlyn had made such thoughtful plans for she and her dad. She made a point to thank her in her own special way that night after everybody else was asleep, or sleeping over with a grandfather.

“Damn woman...” Ashlyn panted quietly as her body slowly came back to earth after a delicious orgasm had sent her flying over the edge. “All that...fresh grass...got you every kind of...worked up...” she chuckled but just for a quick beat because she was really out of breath. 

“Oh yeah” Ali giggled, low in her throat and just as out of breath. “It was the grass...” she panted as she kissed her way up Ashlyn’s still-quivering body.

“Magic Old Traff grass though...” the keeper laughed softly as she started to get the feeling back in her arms and legs. She pulled the covers up over their naked bodies as Ali snuggled into her right side with a warm kiss to her neck. “There’s just something about it.”

They both giggled and enjoyed the last few minutes of their special time together. Two orgasms each without any interruption was a gigantic win for them. Ashlyn even managed to get her left hand to do most of the work instead of her almost-healed right hand. It felt like the universe was finally throwing them a bone. Ali and the kids and grandpas had been there for 6 days and they were all sleeping ok, finally. Josie was getting over the cold she arrived with. And Mike Harris’ stomach seemed to be settling down after several days of pretty severe upset. They thought they might need a trip to the A&E which was English speak, Accident and Emergency Department, for Emergency Room in the US. But, luckily, he was doing better. They had 10 days left of their vacation, Ashlyn’s working vacation, and they were both looking forward to spending some time in London proper. But first and foremost, a night reconnecting with naked skin and urgent touches was long overdue. Some quiet, cramped shower sex had been the best they could come up with until that night because of various kid things, most notably Josie’s sickness. When the young redhead didn’t feel good she locked onto Ali as if she was the only human being left on the planet. Ashlyn tried to step in and help her wife out because she knew it took a lot of patience on the brunette’s part. Ali loved all their kids and she would do anything in the world for them. But having a sick kid, especially a 10-year old, glom onto you for 4 or 5 days straight was a lot to put up with. But Josie only had eyes and whines and snot for Ali when she didn’t feel good. 

“We should get dressed” Ashlyn kissed her wife’s forehead as they lay together with bodies still returning to normal heart rates and breathing patterns. 

“What I wouldn’t give to stay just like this for the rest of the night...” Ali sighed and pulled her wife closer, tightening her grip around her midsection with her arm and her hips with her leg. 

“10 more minutes” Ashlyn set an alarm on her phone, grunting as she reached for it, her body held tight in the brunette’s grasp. “But I’m not dressing you if you fall asleep. You get mean” she patted Ali’s butt and giggled.

They were quiet for another minute or two, each lost in their own thoughts.

“So, how are you doing? I mean, really doing?” Ali broke the comfortable silence with the question she had asked twice before but not gotten a satisfactory answer to yet.

“Hon, you’ve asked me this already. I’m doing ok” Ashlyn tried to reassure her wife with another kiss to her head. 

“Are you really? I want to know the truth babe, I’m worried about you. I don’t think I’d be ok if I were you” Ali pushed a little, knowing Ashlyn was the queen of putting on a brave face and muscling her way through problems sometimes. She gave the blonde a minute to say something and then kept going, her voice careful and kind as her hands caressed Ashlyn’s cheek and chest. “I missed you so much. Those were probably the hardest 17 days we’ve ever been apart, at least for me” she admitted honestly. “I’ve been so sad about Persey and so angry about...that asshole” she used the word they had starting substituting for Andy Pitman. “And I don’t know” she sighed heavily as she tried to say what was on her mind and in her heart. “I just really needed to feel close to you. It killed me to have you so far away. It made me think of that trip you took to go visit Gram and Whit and your family right after we got together, do you remember that?”

“I do” Ashlyn smiled at the reference and hugged Ali closer to her. “That was so hard to be apart from you. The longest 10 days of my life I think. I still can’t believe I was able to leave you at all” she chuckled. “You pretty much forced me to go.”

“I did. What an idiot I was” Ali laughed and leaned up for a kiss. “Big stupid idiot.”

“You were all ‘don’t change your plans for me’ and ‘I don’t want to be the reason you stay’ and ‘your family will hate me if you don’t go see them’...”

“I was right about that, by the way” the brunette giggled.

“Yeah, well, what I remember most was you crying and begging me not to go the night before my flight” Ashlyn’s voice was soft and tender. She could have teased her wife with the memory but she didn’t.

“Oh God, I was hoping you wouldn’t remember that part” Ali groaned and tucked her face into her keeper’s neck as she blushed.

“I love that memory. I was impressed by how strong you had been about the trip in the first place. You gave me the strength to go because I did not have it in myself. That’s for damned sure. I wanted nothing more than to stay as close to you as possible” the keeper chuckled. “But I’ll be honest, part of me – my insecure side, had started to think you didn’t really want me around as much as I wanted to be around.”

“No, no way” Ali got up on her elbow to look down at her wife’s face. “I was a complete mess about you leaving. I felt like a total drama queen” she rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I thought I would die without you.”

“You hid it pretty well” Ashlyn grinned up into her favorite face. “Right up until you bawled like a baby in my arms that night.”

“You know what I remember about that night?” Ali asked, a soft smile on her lovestruck face.

“How incredible I am in the sack?”

“Ha ha, soooo cocky” Ali rolled her eyes again and pinched her wife’s nipple.

“Ow!” Ashlyn yelped and then laughed.

“Shhh...” 

“Well quit pinching me!” the keeper whisper-yelled through a giggle. She waited for Ali to continue her trip down memory lane but the brunette was quiet. There was the same soft smile on her face so the keeper knew she wasn’t upset. She gave her another minute and then spoke again. “What do you remember about that night, sugarplum? Tell me.”

Ali reached her arm down her wife’s right side, pulling her own body back away from it a few inches to make room.

“It was the night you told me your mermaid’s story” she blinked up at the keeper, smile growing bigger as her hand finally found Ashlyn’s right thigh. “You told me that you got her for me...that you wanted to have me with you all the time, on your skin and in your blood, every minute of every day. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more loved, well, at least I hadn’t up to that point” she clarified carefully. “It only got better from there.”

Ashlyn leaned over and brought their lips together in a slow, deep kiss, both of them getting lost in it until the alarm on the keeper’s phone went off. She rolled over and silenced it before smiling emotionally at the brunette.

“My beautiful mermaid. My sexy siren. You’re still leading me home. I’ll always follow your call, always.”


	25. WWC 2031 Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning

The USWNT defeated the upstart Nigeria team in the quarterfinals, making them one of the last four teams still alive in the tournament. Sweden, Australia, and the home team England were the other three semi-finalists vying for a chance to compete for the world championship. Sweden and the US had been in the final four of the 2027 WWC, and England and the US had been in the final four of the 2028 Olympics. Sweden was the only team that had been in the final four of the 2029 EUROs but that was deceptive because only European countries competed in that major tournament. Neither the US or Australia could ever participate in the EUROs. The only teams in the final four of the 2031 WWC who had faced each other in the biggest games of the previous WWC or Olympics, were the US and England. The two teams had competed for the bronze medal in the 2028 Olympics with an injury-depleted US team pulling off the victory and winning the bronze.

The semi-finals and the final championship game of the 2031 WWC were all taking place in famous Wembley Stadium in London. It wasn’t quite as old and sacred as Old Trafford, but it was still revered and beloved among soccer and football devotees. The broadcast team and their families all travelled from Manchester to London on Saturday June 28th so they could get settled in and ready for the final push to the cup. The semi-finals would be played on Tuesday July 1st, one in the afternoon and the other in the evening. The entire country was ecstatic at the success of the Lionesses and every single person, no matter how old they were, seemed to know every detail of the upcoming schedule for the games. The US had come a long way towards embracing soccer as a major sport, but there was something about being in a real football mecca that made the beautiful game seem that much more beautiful. England certainly qualified as a football mecca and it made Ashlyn think about how in love with the sport Germany had been six years earlier when she was there for the EUROs, and France three years earlier at the Olympics. The US had a long way to go before it could be considered a football or soccer mecca.

Ali and Ashlyn and the grandfathers took the kids to as many cool sightseeing locations as possible in the two days they spent in London before the semi-final game. The city of London had survived Viking attacks, sieges, and terrorism. It was full of great stories. There were ancient buildings alongside brand new skyscrapers in the almost 2,000 year old city that was still completely modern at the same time. The Romans founded Londinium in 47AD and it had been growing and changing ever since. The Kriegers went through three of the must-see museums which were all located close together in the South Kensington part of London and surrounded by kid-friendly parks and eateries with picnic tables in abundance. They explored the London Science Museum, then the Victoria and Albert Museum, and finally the Natural History Museum. All three were considered kid-friendly if not kid-centric and everyone had a great time. The biggest surprise of all came from the Victoria and Albert Museum which was named after Queen Victoria and her husband Albert. Both Ali and Ashlyn enjoyed learning about one of the greatest and longest-serving monarchs in world history. They were also touched by the powerful love story of Albert and Victoria and enjoyed explaining it to the kids who were actually interested too. 

They spent much of the next day at Picadilly Circus, which was not an actual circus. It was a lot like Times Square in New York City and was named Circus because the public space was roughly in the shape of a circle. And they visited Covent Garden, enjoying the vast and varied types of entertainment that was literally everywhere among the two spaces. There were acrobats who could balance at the top of crazy-high ladders and juggle swords. There were magicians, tumblers, singers and clowns and everything in between. They were all working their magic and doing their tricks and the Krieger kids couldn’t get enough of them or their antics. They went to Hampden Court Palace, which is where Henry the VIII lived. The big draw there, besides the cool looking palace and castle, was the maze that you could play around in. Ashlyn and Ali were more than a little nervous as they released all 5 kids into the fun freedom of the tall, thick hedges that formed the proper English maze. As usual, they were worried about Dodge and his infectious energy. There was a chance he could actually run himself ragged in there, but at what cost? He could get lost. He could get several of the kids lost with him. He could damage the hedges. He could hurt some poor, innocent bystander inside the maze as he tore through it, eagerly trying to complete the mission of getting to the center faster than anybody else in his group. But it ended up being Drew and Ethan who gave everybody a scare by disappearing for a while inside the maze.

“They’re fine. They’re totally fine” Ashlyn spoke calmly, repeating herself a few times as she tried to convince her wife and father of the same thing. “They’re probably just messing with us. Hiding in there and trying to give us panic attacks” she chuckled but Ali could hear the tension in her voice, clear as a bell.

“You’re right babe” the brunette tried to return the calming favor. “My dad’ll find them. He was pretty sure he saw which way they went” she nodded before getting pulled back towards the nearest entrance to the maze by Dodge and Josie again.

“Sure, yep” Ashlyn agreed optimistically. “Keep your eye out while you’re in there” she suggested as Ali turned to share another hopeful look. “My dad and Lily are gonna stay here at this entrance and I’m going to the other end, just in case. We’ll know if they come out and you guys will find them inside. It’s a great plan.”

Turned out that Drew and Ethan had intended to play a joke on the family by hiding and pretending to be lost. But they really did get themselves lost in the process. Ken found them by using a map and getting Drew on his cellphone to try and figure out exactly where they were. He downplayed it in front of the other kids, only telling the 3 other adults exactly how frightened the two boys had been when he found them. They were 12 years old and sometimes they acted and seemed much older than that. But other times, like that day in the maze, they looked like little kids again, cowering in a dark corner of the hedges and waiting to be rescued. 

The family went to the Tower of London, Trafalgar Square, the Tower Bridge, the London Eye, and all the other big attractions that were easy to find and get to. And what trip to London would be complete without a visit to Buckingham Palace? Some things had to wait until after the semi-final game though. They spent four days between the semi-final games and the championship game doing more sightseeing in the impressive and entertaining city. After watching the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace, which many members of the group thought would be lame but turned out to be one of the coolest things they saw during the whole trip, they took a tour of the beautiful palace. It was King William’s official London residence and a working royal palace too. 

They took in an amazing tennis match at Wimbledon and all four young Krieger kids were determined to take up the sport as soon as they got home. It had been a ladies match and Drew and Ethan were both ready to be bored – only to be stunned and awed by how fast and powerful the women’s game actually was. They also got to attend a men’s rugby league match which was eye-opening for all of them. Dodge was blown away by how rough the game was. 

“It’s like football but without pads!” he had exclaimed in awe. “This is so cool!”

They even tried a cricket match but didn’t make it all the way through. It was just too boring for them. Even Drew, who loved baseball more than anyone, had a hard time keeping up with the strange rules and staying engaged. Ali was disappointed in herself for not studying up on the game before trying to take the kids there. How did she expect them to understand and enjoy it if she couldn’t even help them with basic rules of gameplay?

The Kriegers explored many an outdoor park and garden during their stay in London. Kew Gardens was a World Heritage Site and boasted the world’s largest collection of living plants and even the kids loved walking around within the peaceful space. Ashlyn steered the group to something that had been at the top of her list – the Animals in War Memorial. Just as the name implied, it was a lovely outdoor space with bronze statues and a monument wall to commemorate some of the various and numerous animals that had died in service to Great Britain and her allies in different military conflicts. There was a medium-size curved wall, divided in two with three steps leading up to it. There were animal carvings in the wall, on both the interior and the exterior. There were two more bronze statues – a horse and a dog, on the outside of the wall. You could sit on the low steps if you wanted to or you could leave a wreath or some other sort of tribute. It was remarkable to see all of the different animals carved into the wall – horses, camels, goats, donkeys, elephants, pigeons, and others. 

“Glowworms?” Drew’s face registered shock as he read an informational plaque.

Ethan, Lily and Ali giggled, thinking he was joking.

“What’s a trench?” Josie asked, leaning in to read the same plaque.

“It says the soldiers in their trenches in World War I used glowworms to help them read their maps in the dark” Ashlyn read from the interactive website on her phone.

“But what’s a trench?” Dodge picked up his big sister’s query.

“It’s a ditch that soldiers dig into the ground to protect themselves” Ali tried to explain, realizing it was probably a completely foreign concept to her children who had, thankfully, not had much experience with war yet – aside from video games. “So they can hide behind it and stay safe from the enemy.”

“And when you’re out on the battlefield you don’t have any lights or anything” Ashlyn continued. “So when the sun went down you were in the dark.”

“That is so weird” Drew shook his head, still surprised.

“Pretty resourceful” Ali shook her head exactly the same way as her son. “I never would have known that.”

“8 million horses died during the first World War alone” Ashlyn touched the large, bronze sculpture of two heavily laden mules in the center of the memorial. “8 million...” her voice was strained as her big heart tried to handle all of the emotions she was feeling.

“300 carrier pigeons in World War II...” Ethan studied the birds carved in relief style into the wall. “They delivered messages from the troops, right?”

“Mmmm Hmmm” Ali nodded, letting Ashlyn have a minute. “That’s right.”

“Look, a dog” Lily beamed as she put her arm around the statue of a retriever-looking dog.

Dodge scrambled up the short steps and through the split between the two sections of wall to get to his twin and the dog and horse sculptures on that side of the memorial.

“It looks like Fred, kinda” he cocked his head as he patted the bronze canine. “Not the color though” he clarified as he looked at the dark color of all the sculptures.

Ali snapped a few pictures as other visitors began to crowd the space on that beautiful afternoon. Ethan, Drew and Josie made their way up to the other side in another few minutes, joining the twins and Ali. The brunette gave her wife another minute and then went back to check on her. It hadn’t been very long since Persey had been killed and she knew her keeper was probably even more sensitive than usual.

“You ok babe” she asked quietly as she hugged Ashlyn from behind, pressing her cheek against the blonde’s shoulder blade.

“I was doing ok, and then...did you see this inscription over here?” she pointed a bit to her right, near the edge of the inside of the memorial wall.

“Oh God, now you’re gonna make me cry” Ali whispered as she moved into a side hug with her keeper, looking at the bold, uppercase letters. She spoke them softly, squeezing Ashlyn in the hug at the same time. “’THEY HAD NO CHOICE.’”

The Krieger clan visited Kensington Palace and Kensington Gardens and the memorial garden designed and built to honor Princess Diana. Instead of making Ashlyn sad, as the Animals in War memorial had, Princess Diana’s garden brought her a profound sense of peace as she walked through it. It had first been dedicated back in August of 2017, the 20th anniversary of Diana’s death. It had been done in simple and elegant and joyful white in that first iteration. The gardeners, along with input from both of Diana’s sons – William and Harry, reinvented the garden every four years or so. 

“The book said that the sunken garden, like it is now, was her favorite” Mike spoke carefully as he walked alongside his daughter, with Josie close by as well. He could tell Ashlyn was truly connecting with the beautiful space and he didn’t want to disturb her.

But the keeper was so touched by the fact that her father had bothered to read the guide book back at the hotel that she turned to face him, her dimpled grin jumping out.

“You read that huh?” she tried not to overwhelm him with her enthusiasm and appreciation.

“It said when she lived her, Diana I mean, at Kensington Palace,” he looked over his shoulder towards the immense palace where the princess and her family lived for 15 years, “she used to go jogging in the morning and she’d always stop here at the sunken garden and spend some time when she was done with her run.”

“And she’d chat up the gardeners” the blonde nodded as they continued walking through the neatly plotted beds and pavers, taking their time and moving at a leisurely pace. “They all said how nice she was to them.”

A joyful quiet took over for several minutes as Ashlyn and Mike smiled at everything their eyes rested on. 

“We’ll have to get your brother to get Gram’s garden in shape like this” Mike nudged his daughter’s shoulder and chuckled.

“Oh yeah, like that’ll happen” Ashlyn rolled her eyes and laughed. “I think I’ve got a better shot at that than he does, and I don’t have a shot in hell!”

As if she had heard the conversation, which was impossible because she had been flitting around the entire garden like a human girl hummingbird the entire 30 minutes that they’d been there, Lily appeared from behind them and squeezed between their bodies.

“Can we make our garden look like this Mama?” she asked breathlessly. “Pleeeeeease?”

Mike and Ashlyn both laughed, louder than they should have for the serene environment. Lily, unfazed, just grinned up at them as she twirled in a circle, waiting for the answer.

“Maybe we can plant some more flowers when we get home” the keeper let her youngest daughter tug on her hand and then hold it for a few seconds before darting off again. “But you have to help me. That’s the deal” Ashlyn called after both Lily and Josie, who had run along with her sister. All she got in response was cute giggles from both girls.

“This I gotta see” Mike nudged her again and felt his heart swell when Ashlyn chuckled and put her arm around his shoulder to continue their walk. It was the highlight of the trip for him and he would never forget how close he felt to his daughter that day.

And they even took in a West End show, checking Josie’s one and only wish off of the list just before heading back home. It was truly a whirlwind experience for everybody and it killed Ashlyn to miss any of it, but she did have some work to do while they were in London. She stayed with the family as much as possible but attended the production meetings and did her goalkeeper studying in the evenings when they were back in their hotel. Ali, in an attempt to spend some quality time with her wife and keep everybody else on their busy schedule, started watching the film with Ashlyn and convinced her to do the studying while snuggling in bed every once in a while too.

“Lexi is so much better with her footwork this year, I can’t believe how much she’s improved” Ashlyn commented as she made notes to talk about in the US semi-final game against Australia that was coming up the next day. 

“Well she’s working with Lloyd Yaxley in Orlando now, right? That explains a lot right there” Ali replied as she knelt behind her wife on their hotel bed, massaging her shoulders as they both watched the footage of starting USWNT keeper Lexi Burke.

“He’s so good” Ashlyn shook her head appreciatively. “Imagine how good she’d be if she’d been working with him all along?”

“Well better late than never. It’s a good thing Chicago traded her or she’d still be tripping over her own two feet” Ali chuckled and cut her wife off before Ashlyn could object to her comment. “And I’m kidding. There’s no way a national team keeper has footwork that bad. I get it” she playfully poked her wife in the ribs and kissed the back of her neck.

“Ok, that’s enough. I’ve watched it all a dozen times since the Nigeria game. I’m ready” Ashlyn closed her laptop and exhaled a big breath. “You ready to call it a night?”

“I’m in my jammies, in bed...you tell me” Ali teased as she moved over to her own side of the bed and got under the covers.

“Do you think the kids are having a good time?” the keeper asked after Ali got snuggled into her left side and they got ready to go to sleep.

“I think the kids are having a great time” the brunette replied. “Just wait til we add in the sporting events later this week too. They’re going to be wiped out but thrilled.”

“I think so too. I would have loved this trip when I was their age. Wouldn’t you?”

“Totally” Ali agreed with a warm squeeze of Ashlyn’s torso. “Without a doubt. And now that Josie’s feeling better we can really push them.”

“We’ve gotta make sure not to go too fast for my dad though. He’s starting to lose some of his wind I think.”

“Hmmm...you’re probably right. I think we should put him in charge of the sitting and waiting group, whenever we need one. What do you think?”

“Yeah, but we can’t call it that” Ashlyn cautioned. “He’ll feel like we think he can’t keep up.”

“But he can’t keep up...”

“I know, but we can’t let him know that we know...”

“Ok, so we’ll make it seem like he’s helping us out by sitting with whichever kid doesn’t feel like doing whatever it is we’re doing next. How about that?”

“Perfect. I love your brain, not quite as much as I love your banging body...” she wagged her eyebrows and used the descriptive term that Ali herself playfully used.

“I think I’m ok with that” the brunette giggled and leaned up for a kiss.

They were quiet for a minute as their bodies started to slow down and get ready for sleep.

“Did Whit say anything else about her mom?” Ali asked quietly.

“It’s looking good. The second biopsy will hopefully confirm the first and then Kim’ll be in the clear.”

“Good. I hate fucking cancer so much” Ali’s voice was hard and serious.

“How’s your mom doing with the news about Diana?”

“Not great. She’s getting frustrated with her knee and was really looking forward to getting back to her old self, you know, travelling and doing things without having to use the cane or dealing with the pain” Ali sighed sadly. “But she’s so sad now about Diana. The timing is awful. I know that’s terrible to say” she added quickly.

“Honey, I know what you mean” Ashlyn kissed her brunette head and pulled her body closer into her own side. “That’s why I asked. I know this is hard for your mom. I’m sad as hell about it and I barely know the woman.”

Deb’s cousin Diana, whom Ali and Ashlyn had just visited the summer before during their DC family vacation, had gotten more bad news about her ovarian cancer. She had been diagnosed last July, just before the Krieger visit, and given 12 – 18 months to live. She was a year into that timeline and it seemed to be painfully accurate. The latest scans she had done looked really bad and Diana was considering stopping the chemo treatments and just trying to enjoy the last few months of her life. She wanted to spend time with her husband and their grandkids without feeling like death warmed over after chemo treatments that wiped her out.

“How are you doing?” the brunette asked softly, kissing her wife’s jaw between sentences. “Not beating yourself up too much are you?”

Ashlyn sighed heavily and Ali thought she was going to keep her troublesome emotions bottled up as she had been doing ever since the altercation with Andy Pitman in the driveway 4-1/2 weeks ago. Just as the brunette was about to let her off the hook and suggest they go to sleep, Ashlyn surprised her.

“I’m pretty sure most of the people I know and respect would have done the same thing to that asshole.”

Ali could feel her wife’s heartrate increase but her body didn’t tense up as it usually did when she tried to talk to her about what happened to the dogs.

“I think you’re right” she nodded. “I told you that same night that I would have done it too. And I’m sure Whit would too.”

“She told me she wouldn’t have stopped hitting him, just like you did” Ashlyn grinned and Ali could hear the lightness in her voice, looking up to confirm what her ears were telling her. “She said somebody would have had to pull her off of him, maybe two people” she chuckled. “God I love her.”

“I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear you say that honey” Ali squeezed her tightly and smiled as big as her tired face would let her. “It sounds like you really believe it too. That anybody would have done the same thing in your shoes.”

“I do” the keeper exhaled and Ali could feel her body settle more into sleep mode, which wouldn’t happen if Ashlyn was bothered by their conversation. “It’s taken me some time, and some calls to Mattie” she paused for a split second, “the cellphone bill’s gonna be a little high this month...”

“Oh Ashlyn I couldn’t care less about that” Ali lifted her head up and met her favorite hazel eyes. “I’m just so proud of you...of how you’ve handled everything. It was a lot, but you just...you just took care of yourself and I know that’s not always easy to do.”

Ashlyn leaned down and gave her wife a slow kiss.

“Thanks for always having my back baby” she whispered against Ali’s soft lips. “And my front” she giggled as she arched her back up into Ali’s embrace and lifted her hips into the brunette’s leg that was thrown across them. She laughed with her wife for a minute and then paused, letting them both hug and squeeze each other. When she spoke again her voice quavered with emotion as she gazed fervently into whiskey-colored eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too...so much honey.”

The kiss they shared turned deep and passionate as their tongues danced together and their breathing got heavy. Their hands began travelling to sensitive places, still tentative because it was late and they were both tired. Neither woman wanted to pressure the other into anything they weren’t up for. At first. But as the kisses got hungrier and more intense, Ali let her fingers find her keeper’s nipples, hidden beneath her sleep t-shirt, pinching them gently. Ashlyn moaned into her wife’s mouth when she felt the touches and tugs, arching her back up without any joking involved. She ran her hand up and down the back of the brunette’s thigh that was laying across her own hips. She was very happy she had started sleeping without the splint a few days earlier, according to schedule. She would have to be careful but she wasn’t going to get up and get it now, that was for damned sure. As she got to the bottom of the sexiest ass in the world, she let her fingertips drag lower, grazing between her wife’s legs, thin cotton pajama pants offering little resistance.

“Jesus...” Ali whimpered and bit down on Ashlyn’s bottom lip in response. 

When the brunette slid her hand underneath the sleep t-shirt and gave Ashlyn’s nipple a serious pinch, they both knew there was no going back.

“I wanna fuck you so bad...” Ashlyn’s voice was low and thick with desire as she grabbed a big handful of her wife’s ass.

“Mmmm...” Ali hummed, just as turned on as the keeper. “What are you waiting for?”

Before the sound of the last word even left Ali’s lips, Ashlyn flipped her over so she was flat on her back. She lay on top of the brunette and kissed her hard, loving the way Ali’s hands raked up and down her back and sides, lifting her sleep t-shirt up to her armpits in the process. They were both still fully clothed but working their hands to bare skin wherever possible.

“You have to be quiet” Ashlyn cautioned, working her lips down the brunette’s neck while pressing her mound against Ali’s at the same time. They were grinding against each other and moaning as the touching and kissing continued. “Can you do that?”

“I will” Ali replied quickly, between increasingly desperate kisses. “I’ll be quiet. So fucking quiet...”

“There’s no lock on this door so you’d better be” Ashlyn pulled her head back and gave her wife a serious look.

The ‘master bedroom’ in the different hotel suites this trip always had its’ own bathroom and the kids had gotten used to coming in to use it fairly frequently. And when Josie had been sick at the beginning of their vacation, she slept in there with them sometimes. Then, once she was deeply asleep, the two moms would carry her back to her own shared bed with Lily in the other bedroom. Ali and Ashlyn’s private bedroom had never been very private – parents gave that up, to a degree, when they had kids in the first place. But when they travelled en masse like this, privacy was often at a premium. Especially without a lock on the door.

Ali took advantage of the change in position to get both hands onto her keeper’s breasts, under her sleep t-shirt, and rolled her thumbs across the stiffening nipples. She sucked in a breath at the sensation and felt her desire soar, thrusting her hips up to find more contact.

“You’d better hurry up then” the brunette moaned as she let one hand slide down Ashlyn’s body and into the waistband of her sleep shorts.

“Fuck...” Ashlyn groaned, closing her eyes as she felt her wife’s nimble fingers scratching through her short hairs and teasing the very top of her clit. 

The sexy sound made the brunette’s core twitch.

“Off, take them off...” she husked out, insistently, pulling down on the sleep shorts as best she could.

In a matter of seconds, they were both pants-less, eagerly rubbing against each other’s soft, naked skin. Ashlyn pushed her wife’s sleep t-shirt up to her neck, leaving her arms in it in her haste to get her lips on the dark pink buds of her breasts.

“Mmmmmm...fuck, baby...” the keeper muffled most of the aching groan into her wife’s chest as she sucked and licked and nipped there.

The sheet was around Ashlyn’s waist as she straddled the brunette’s hips, Ali’s head on her own pillow and her body slightly angled towards the middle of the bed. They had turned the lights off to go to sleep and the only illumination came from the bathroom where the door was only half-closed, for that exact reason. The sighs and moans and slurps and gasps got longer and louder as they moved together, kissing and groping and grinding. Ali got frustrated by her wife’s sleep t-shirt hanging down and covering her gorgeous body so she yanked up on it the first time Ashlyn sat up straighter to catch her breath and give her hand a little break.

“This too...it’s in my way” Ali mumbled, her lips swollen from the heated kisses and her eyes heavily lidded from desire.

As soon as the keeper complied, dropping the shirt next to them on the bed, Ali’s libido went into overdrive. Something about seeing those beautiful pink nipples standing at such stiff attention drove her wild and she wasted no time on her next maneuver. She moved her hand from Ashlyn’s short hairs down to her wet center and pushed her middle finger inside without any warning. 

“Unnnhhh...yessssss...” the keeper moaned and bent over again, supporting her weight with her arms on either side of Ali’s head. Her whole body shuddered and her eyes slammed shut at the aggressive new touch. “Fuck yes...”

Ali was only vaguely aware of any of that because she practically lost her mind when she felt just how wet her wife was for her. They both still got soaked quite quickly for each other but this was faster than usual, even for them. The brunette took only a beat to push another finger inside Ashlyn’s pulsing core, making them both groan loudly.

“Shhhh...” Ashlyn chastised breathlessly.

“You’re so fucking wet...shit, that drives me crazy” Ali panted as she started thrusting her fingers in and out of her wife’s eager pussy.

“You...gave me a massage...” the keeper bent her head down and licked a broad stroke up her wife’s neck, ending just below her ear. Ashlyn’s hot breath tickled and teased the brunette’s skin. “It’s your fault...”

She thought about completing her whole thought – anytime Ali’s hands worked on her body in any way, Ashlyn’s body responded – but she couldn’t. The increased pace of pumping between her legs and Ali’s blunt nails tweaking and scratching at her breasts were making it difficult for the keeper to do anything but take ragged breaths and hold herself up on all fours above her beautiful brunette. The other thought crowding her mind at the moment was how Ali had taken this fucking session over, just like that. Ashlyn had flipped them over and was planning to make a meal out of Ali’s pussy but somehow, here they were with the keeper climbing fast towards an orgasm before she’d even had a taste of her wife’s sweetness. 

Ali’s arm was getting tired and her wrist was starting to ache from the awkward angle but there was no way she was moving until she got her keeper off. Ashlyn continued her pleasurable ride, hovering above the brunette and kissing her breasts and lips and neck and those sexy shoulders that she loved so much, while trying to remember to be quiet when she came, which they both knew was going to be as soon as either of them touched her throbbing clit.

“So fucking hot...” Ali grunted quietly as she tugged on Ashlyn’s rock-hard nipple. She was about to lean up and suck on it when the bedroom door swung open and the light from the living room flooded in to interrupt them. “Shit!” she whisper-yelled and froze, fingers still inside her keeper.

It took Ashlyn a second to catch on because her eyes were closed and most of what she could hear was blood pounding in her ears as she got closer and closer to her release. When she felt Ali stop and heard her exclamation, the keeper looked to her left and saw the sleepy form of Josie Krieger shuffling across their bedroom floor. She was rubbing one eye with her hand and clutching her favorite stuffed animal – Teddy the light brown teddy bear - under her other arm as she crossed the 6’ between the bedroom door and the bathroom door, directly across from it. Ashlyn dropped down on top of her wife as Ali used her free hand to pull the sheet up over them both, leaving only their heads exposed. They lay there like that for what felt like an eternity, both chests heaving from desire and terror. They tried to catch their breath as they listened to Josie pee, never having closed either door. Ali cleared her throat, hoping she could get some words out if necessary. She felt Ashlyn slide off of her, to her left side, the side farthest away from both doors and winced as she pulled her fingers out of her at an even more awkward angle. They both lay very still, as still as they could with all the adrenaline coursing through both their systems. They heard the toilet flush and then Josie reappeared in her coral-colored Angelica Schuyler nightgown – she had become obsessed with the brilliant and beautiful character from the ‘Hamilton’ musical, shuffling back towards the bedroom door.

“Everything ok honey?” Ali asked, still sounding breathy with her low, husky voice.

“Ah-huh” the girl nodded and yawned, never looking anywhere but straight ahead at the next obstacle in her path back to her own bed. “Had to pee.”

“Ok. Goodnight baby girl” the brunette hated how she couldn’t get control of her own damned voice and was sure Josie must have known something was different about it.

“Night” came the tiny reply as Josie walked through the bedroom door without closing it.

“Close the door please” Ali raised her voice just a bit to make sure her sleepy daughter heard it.

She thought she was going to have to get up and close it herself when almost 30 seconds went by with nothing. But then the door was pulled closed and they were left alone again, hearts still pounding and sex still very much on their minds.

“Holy fucking shit” Ashlyn exhaled a long breath and started to giggle nervously. 

She buried her face into Ali’s neck and felt relief sweep over them both. She could feel the tension leave the brunette’s body just as it raced out of her own. They giggled together for a minute and then the proximity of soft, naked skin started to pull them back to the grown-up recreation they had been engaged in before being so rudely interrupted. 

“I think you broke my finger” Ali complained as she rolled over to face her wife, grinning lasciviously when she saw the hazel eyes she loved so much, still dark with want.

“Sorry baby” Ashlyn met her lips with a hungry kiss, pulling Ali’s body closer with a strong arm behind her back. “Good thing you have 7 more” she chuckled. The way their nipples brushed against each other, still stiff and excited, made them both moan. “Please tell me we’re not letting that stop us...” the keeper whimpered, “please...” 

“I don’t wanna stop” Ali’s voice was heavy with lust as she pushed Ashlyn onto her back and then scooched them both over towards the middle of the bed again. 

Both sets of hands were moving with determination to their favorite places and reclaiming their territory. Ashlyn lifted the brunette’s sleep t-shirt over her head and felt a sharp pang in her core at the fully naked sight of her beautiful brunette. 

“Damn woman, you’re so fucking gorgeous” the keeper ran her hands down the front of Ali’s body as the brunette lay next to her, on her side, ready to get back to business. 

They locked eyes for a few seconds as their pulses quickened again and everything started to return to the hot and heavy, passion-filled way it had been before their untimely visitor’s appearance. It was like a boiling pot of water that had been taken off the burner just before it boiled over. After a few seconds away from the heat the water quieted a bit. But as soon as you put it back on the burner it jumped back up to a rolling boil almost instantly. There was a noise from somewhere outside their room but it sounded more like the hallway of the hotel itself. Regardless, it was the prompt they needed to get things moving again without any delay.

“Hurry up” Ashlyn urged as she spread her legs out and pulled her left knee up. “I’m dying...” she groaned as she reached down to open her drenched folds up again and clear an easy path for her wife. “Please baby...”

Ali had no intention of wasting another second on anything that didn’t lead to a direct and fast orgasm for both of them. She was not tempting fate again.

“You ready to come for me?” she husked out as she brought her fingers back to Ashlyn’s waiting pussy. She sucked one of the pretty pink nipples into her mouth and flicked it with her tongue as her fingers circled the keeper’s entrance and tapped teasingly on her aching clit.

“Oh fuck, yes...” Ashlyn sighed as she started playing with her own breast with one hand and grabbing at Ali’s back with the other.

Ali covered her fingers with her wife’s abundant passion and then pushed two of them right back into Ashlyn’s hot and hungry core. She felt her own juices gathering between her legs when the keeper’s silken walls immediately began to grab at her fingers. Ashlyn was so ready. She must have been just about to come before they had their midnight visitor. The brunette began pumping her fingers slowly but ramped up to fast in just a couple of minutes. Ashlyn was already bucking her hips up for more pressure, desperate for her release.

“I’ve got you...I’m gonna take care of you baby” Ali purred as she got on her knees next to Ashlyn’s hip, dragging her lips and then her left hand down her keeper’s torso as she went.

Ashlyn whined at the loss of full body contact but knew it was for the best possible reason. She let her right hand move all around Ali’s back and then carefully grab at her bare ass while the brunette thrusted into her and started to suck on her clit. Her poor swollen clit was aching so much that it was almost painful.

“Unnnhhh...oh yeah, just like that...unnnhhh...”

Ali hummed into the sensitive nub and couldn’t help but smile as she heard the desperation in her wife’s strangled voice. 

“Mmmm...so good” she sucked hard again and made Ashlyn’s back arch off the bed. “Mmmm...you taste so fucking good...”

Ali increased her pace with her right hand until she was pounding her wife’s pussy hard and fast. She used her left hand on Ashlyn’s nipples until she had to bring it down to try and keep her hips in place so she could keep sucking on her clit without delay.

“Oh fuck...” Ashlyn whined as she pinched and tugged on her own nipples with her free hand. “Oh yeah, unnnhhh...don’t stop baby...”

Ali moved her mouth over to the valley between Ashlyn’s leg and her mound, kissing and licking the sensitive skin there while she used her left hand to rub her keeper’s clit hard and fast. The smell and sound of all of Ashlyn’s juices was like a drug and the brunette felt like an addict. She knew she would never get enough of this. Not ever. Not at 30, not at 40, not as she got closer and closer to 50...nothing would ever be better than fucking her wife. Nothing.

“Aliiiiii!” the keeper yelled through the forearm she had pressed against her mouth to try and muffle the cry of passion. She came hard, bucking her hips wildly and scratching Ali’s ass hard enough to break the skin as she rode out her orgasm. Her recovering finger only a distant memory at the moment. “Oh my fucking God...” Ashlyn gasped out as her body finally started to still.

Ali let her tongue enjoy more of the passion from between her wife’s legs until Ashlyn pulled her up, strong arms on her hip and elbow. The brunette kissed whatever skin she could on her speedy journey back up towards her wife’s beaming face. They both groaned when their mounds came in contact, pressing against each other but being careful with Ashlyn’s still very sensitive clit.

“Hi” Ali gave her wife’s lips a slow, deep kiss as they squirmed together, one body coming down and the other rising closer to the peak with every movement it made.

“Hi” Ashlyn blinked back after the kiss. She could see just how ready Ali was by the darkness of her whiskey-colored eyes. “You ready?”

“Mmm hmmm...” Ali chuckled, low and throaty and sexy as hell. “I might break some sort of speed record.”

“Come up here then” Ashlyn tilted her chin up and started pulling the brunette up her body more.

“Are you kidding?” Ali’s eyes went as wide as they could with her heavy, sex-starved lids in the way. “After what just happened? You think I wanna be up there the next time someone comes in here and catches us?”

“No-one else is coming in here, come on” she tried to reassure the brunette, playfully patting her ass and sliding a little lower on the bed so Ali would have room to straddle her face. She kissed the brunette’s neck and then spoke in a hungry voice. “I need you to fuck my face and then come all over me...”

Ali knew she would reach her orgasm quickly, she was horny as hell and felt like a slight breeze might make her come. But it was her wife’s sexy words and the sultry look in her eyes that made the brunette get on her knees and crawl up into place. She let Ashlyn shift underneath her and then pull her where she wanted her, both big hands on the brunette’s ass to begin with.

“You can’t tease me” Ali cautioned as she lowered her soaking wet folds down onto Ashlyn’s smirking face. “I don’t wanna be up here all night...please...”

Before she could even deliver the pout that she thought would convince Ashlyn to honor her wishes, Ali felt the strong tongue between her legs and every other thought vanished from her mind. She put one hand out against the patterned cloth headboard for support and moved her other hand to her own breasts while she let the incredible sensations from her pussy take over her whole body.

“Mmmm...mmmm...mmmmm...” Ashlyn moaned into her favorite place in the world. She sucked on Ali’s folds and licked up through her slit, just barely touching her tingling clit, as the vibrations from her moans shot through the brunette’s entire body.

“Inside...” Ali groaned, louder than she meant to.

“Shhh...you gotta be quiet” Ashlyn pinched her wife’s ass to get her attention. “Maybe this is a bad idea” she started to reconsider the positioning.

“No...no...keep going...I’m close...” Ali moved her hand off of the headboard and down to her own clit. “Put your tongue inside me...please baby...”

The keeper did as she was asked, plunging her tongue as far inside her wife’s aching pussy as possible. She thrust it in and out and swirled it all around, poking up at her g-spot as she felt Ali start to grind down against her face. Ashlyn worked on one breast while Ali took care of the other, both of them pinching and tugging and squeezing the nipples into stiff points and then rolling them again. The keeper used her other hand on Ali’s hip, controlling the grinding as best she could so she could breathe. All the while the brunette played with her own clit, slowly at first, spreading her ample wetness all around it and then starting to rub it. She loved the way Ashlyn’s tongue felt inside her burning core and she could feel her own walls starting to tighten around it. 

Ashlyn kept her eyes up and open, enjoying the magnificent display above her. She adjusted her head so her chin was jutting up a bit, giving the brunette something harder to grind against. They moved together for another few minutes and Ashlyn loved the way Ali’s fingers hit her nose as she rubbed her own clit hard.

“Mmmm...yes Al, so good...you’re so beautiful...so fucking sexy...” Ashlyn panted out when she could between thrusts and grinds. She felt her wife’s thighs tremble on either side of her head and moaned in response. “Come for me baby...come all over my face...”

Ali felt her whole body start to tingle and she rubbed just a bit harder and then her orgasm exploded over her. She did her best to keep her cries muffled with her other hand over her mouth.

“Yes! Yes!! Yessssss!!!”

Her whole body shook and she tried to roll off of her wife but Ashlyn wouldn’t let her go yet. She held onto Ali’s hips and kept her tongue inside her for as long as possible. The brunette finally flopped over onto her side, bringing Ashlyn and her attached mouth with her so the keeper’s head was resting on Ali’s quivering thigh, still between her legs. Ali curled her upper body down as her muscles contracted. She grabbed a thick handful of Ashlyn’s shaggy blonde hair and held on as she continued to twitch for another couple of minutes. 

“Mmmm...” Ashlyn repeated the sound she had made almost non-stop for the past 15 minutes or so. “Jesus, you taste incredible. That was amazing” she panted out as she finally let her tongue move on to licking up the juices that had dripped down her wife’s sexy thighs. “Nice job staying quiet too” she chuckled and nipped playfully at the brunette’s inner thigh. “I really didn’t think you had that in you.”

“Well, you didn’t make it easy, that’s for sure” Ali sighed contentedly. “Mmmmm that felt sooooooo good.”

They lay like that for a few more minutes before the brunette finally made her wife come up for air and tender kisses and cuddles.

“We need to go to sleep. You have to be awesome tomorrow and I don’t want you blaming me for anything” she teased after some soft and slow making out that helped them cool down instead of heating up again, although they both would have loved a round 2.

“You’re right, it’s late” Ashlyn whined as she rolled over to look at the hotel digital clock on the nightstand. “Come pee with me?” she asked hopefully as she started to sit up and move towards the edge of the bed.

“Yeah, go ahead, I’ll bring your jammies in” Ali smiled warmly at her big, strong wife who could be so small and vulnerable sometimes. 

The brunette knew the strength and courage it took to truly bare your soul to someone else and she appreciated Ashlyn’s bravery every single day. Just something so simple as not wanting to be separated from Ali right at that moment, after their intimate time together, made the brunette’s heart soar when she thought about it. She gathered up their pajamas and followed the keeper into the bathroom. Ali pulled her sleep t-shirt on and sat on Ashlyn’s lap as the blonde peed, wrapping the keeper up in a hug and kissing her cheek and then her ear.

“Thanks baby” Ashlyn’s voice was soft and quiet and they both knew she was expressing gratitude for a thousand different things, including the brunette’s acquiescence to her latest request. “I love you.”

“Love you too” Ali gave her lips another soft kiss. “Now hurry up, you’re making me have to pee now too.”

They both giggled and kissed again before switching places. Ali watched her wife get dressed as she took her turn on the toilet and then let Ashlyn help her into her own pajama pants. They checked on the kids, happy to see everybody in the beds they were supposed to be in, and then went back to their own. Somehow, as they snuggled back under the covers with Ashlyn spooning Ali from behind, the keeper couldn’t imagine a more perfect evening if she tried. After some nice family time and putting the kids to bed, her fantastically supportive wife had given her a massage and watched goalkeeper footage with her. Then they had shared some meaningful conversation and connected that way. Then they had given each other impressive orgasms and connected in their favorite way. It hadn’t been their longest or loudest or craziest sex, but it had been hot and sexy and very satisfying for both of them. Then they finished the whole evening off with another mom check of the kids and were now snuggling together to go to sleep. The only thing that could have made it better would have been sleeping naked together, but that was about it. Yes, Ashlyn had been given a few big challenges that year, and it was only July 1st! But she knew how to take care of herself. She had learned the hard way what happened if she didn’t pay attention to her own needs and manage them. 

The sculpting class she had started taking that Spring had helped a lot with learning to forgive, and then love again, her own two hands. She knew that those sculpting classes and the exercise of learning to forgive and appreciate her hands again had been a key reason why she was able to handle the Andy Pitman incident as well as she had been – which hadn’t been perfect, but it hadn’t been a total shitshow either. Ashlyn knew that almost all of the progress she had made that year, including with Ali and the mom imbalance from the very beginning of the year, was because of the unwavering support that her wife gave her every single damned day. Ashlyn was strong in a lot of ways, including inner strength and willpower and determination. Ali hadn’t been there when she blew ACL after ACL after ACL. Ali hadn’t been there when she almost fell victim to addiction herself. Ali hadn’t been there when she tried to put her family back together after they had inflicted so much damage on each other for so many years. Ashlyn knew she was strong on her own, and Ali would often remind her of that fact too. But the keeper also knew that she was 100 times stronger with the beautiful brunette in her corner, guiding and advising and encouraging her - even calling her on her bullshit when necessary. 

Ashlyn knew that Ali made her better, in every way. And now that she was getting a little older and a little wiser, she was even able to understand and accept the fact that she did the same thing in return for her brunette. That’s what the keeper thought about as she drifted off to sleep that night in London, England. She dreamt about her incredible wife and how lucky they both were to have found each other and woke up the next morning with a smile on her face because of it. Maybe, just maybe, part of that smile was because of the sexy memories they had just made as well. Just maybe.


	26. Home & Josie Turns 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is last night's chapter. Sorry about not getting it posted.

The USWNT beat Australia in the semi-final of the WWC and the whole country was flying high because of the result as well as the exciting game. The Aussies had only had a top-four finish in the WWC or the Olympics once before and it had been the 2023 WWC on their home soil. It was a common theme, and sometimes defied logic, but the teams that were hosting the big events always seemed to perform better. There were jokes about the home-cooking and sleeping in their own beds, but everybody knew it was the incredible advantage of the home fans. To fill the biggest stadiums in your own country full of mostly your own home fans and then have them all screaming their support for you...nothing could match that for an advantage. And it was almost impossible to counteract or ignore for the opposing teams. The rabid football fans in England, Scotland, and Wales that year did not disappoint. 

For only the third time in the history of the WWC, the home team won the Final game and became World Champions in front of their own ecstatic fans. The first team to achieve that amazing result had been the USWNT back in 1999 at the Rose Bowl in California. That was the Final against China that went to PKs and Brianna Scurry became famous for stopping one and Brandi Chastain for making the game winner and ripping her jersey off to celebrate in her sports bra. The next team to do it was the French in 2019 when they hosted the tournament and beat the US for the win. And now the Lionesses had done it in sold-out Wembley Stadium, beating the US in an absolute nail-biter. It had been the type of game that nobody deserved to lose. Both teams played brilliantly, and it was easily one of the best women’s soccer games anybody had ever seen. There was technical excellence and athleticism and great defense and there were some absolute bangers scored just to keep everybody, players and fans alike, on their toes.

For the first time in what felt like forever, the USWNT was healthy going into the big game and their performance improved accordingly. Both teams were at full strength and the rest of the world was convinced that the 12th woman on the pitch, the screaming fans, had been the only difference.

“The big players made big plays when it counted and everybody did their part” Ashlyn enthused after the game had ended and the medals had been presented. “There’s really nothing to criticize with this game. It was excellent and it’s a real shame that somebody had to lose” she shook her head from down on the sideline where she had been re-deployed to get some player interviews. The producers knew she had a way with the players and tried to take advantage of it any way they could. “But that’s football. That’s soccer” she shrugged. “That’s what makes it such a beautiful game.”

The keeper was elated for Kayla Duran, her secret favorite. The midfielder scored a goal and assisted on three others, making one tremendous pass after another throughout the game. 

“You were right on the money about Honey Dawkins, Ash” Alex Morgan chimed in from the commentator desk. “She rose to the challenge and her brace today is a great sign for the US squad as they try to regroup after this and get ready for next year’s Olympics.”

“I was just going to say the same thing” Alex Scott laughed from her spot next to Morgan. “What a tremendous tournament she had. I’m sure she was terrified more than once out there but she never let it show. She just kept working hard. I thought the game against Australia was her best performance, her grittiest showing, but her brace today shows just how diverse she can be. Definitely someone to watch for next summer in Hong Kong.”

“I thought Lexi Burke was the player of the match for the US today” Sam Mewis added from her spot on the other end of the sideline, her finger pressed into her ear trying to hear amidst the utter chaos from the celebrating fans. “She’s good, we knew that. But out here, at the ripe old age of 29” she chuckled and rolled her eyes at how anything near 30 was considered old in soccer those days, “she really dazzled me. She made some incredible saves today.”

“That’s what Tierna was saying as we were watching” HAO said from the desk, nudging the former-defender who was sitting next to her.

“Overall, the defense played very well” Tierna began. “But there were some breakdowns out there, particularly in the second half, that left the keeper exposed...”

“To put it lightly” Alex Morgan interjected with wide eyes.

“Well, listen” Ashlyn’s voice cut through, rising as loud as possible to be heard over the raucous fans down by the sideline. “England is here for a reason. That’s a tremendous football club that won this game today. Yes, the backline had a couple of shaky moments, but that’s what happens when you face this type of talent. Every sub that came on for England was a fresh-legged striker. Sometimes that’s all the advantage you need to get the jump on a tired backline.”

“Are you saying the backline’s too old?” HAO seized the opportunity to get to the topic of conversation that had been widely debated all month long.

“Oh boy, here we go...” Tierna said under her breath but just loud enough for the microphone to pick up.

All 6 analysts had smiles on their faces, even though it was a touchy subject among them.

“What’s that T?” Alex Scott asked, a challenging grin on her face.

“I don’t know how I would have played at 32 or 31, my knee took care of that for me and I’ll never know” Davidson shrugged. “And I understand that players slow down as they age. It’s just how the body works and I’m not disputing that. But the idea that anybody who hits ‘X’ age, all of a sudden can’t play anymore is just ridiculous.”

“Amen” Alex Morgan added. “I mean, look at HAO here. She could have played on the National team for at least 2 or 3 more years. I honestly believe that. No, I know it” she emphasized. “Same thing with you Sam, although you got a few more years than HAO did.”

They all saw Sam flinch a little and realized that maybe she wasn’t too keen to talk about this subject live in front of the world. They were all thinking about Mallory Pugh too, who had been too upset about not making the team to join them as an analyst.

“There are players who take care of their bodies better than others” Ashlyn spoke again, taking the reins of the conversation when it was obvious that HAO felt a bit uncomfortable to do the job herself right at that moment. “There always have been and there always will be. That’s part of it. Look at Megan Rapinoe – she got better as she got older because she learned how to take care of herself and give her body what it needed to recover and rebuild and then excel out on the pitch.” Everybody nodded in agreement. “Kristine Lilly and Christie Pierce played forever and barely slowed, if at all. We could go on for hours talking about this, but in terms of goalkeepers, and to get back to Sam’s original comment about Lexi Burke being 29 now, yeah – you get better as a keeper as you get older. Lots of people believe that and I think there’s just too much evidence of it to think otherwise anymore.”

“But why is that Ash?” Alex Scott asked the question on all the viewers’ minds.

“It’s experience. Plain and simple” the keeper replied. “You can be the most talented athlete in the world, a real physical specimen. You know, 6’ tall with a crazy wingspan and strong arms and legs, with great hands. But if you can’t anticipate what’s going to happen, if you can’t see the play opening up in front of you on the pitch, if you can’t organize your backline and get the rest of your team where they need to be, then none of that matters. You’re going to get beat every time. Sure, you might get lucky and block a shot here or there, but everything else is about being smart and knowing the game and then having the confidence to take control of it from your position back there. That’s the hard part. And that’s what gets easier the longer you do it.”

“Well there you have it” HAO grinned at her friend from the analyst desk that was at ground level, but a good distance from the actual pitch itself. “An expert opinion on goalkeeping from one of the best herself.”

“Oh, and Lexi’s footwork is vastly improved this year. She’s a hard-working player and I can tell she’s been focusing on her feet. Great job Lexi!” Ashlyn added, realizing she hadn’t paid the USWNT keeper the compliment that she’d been planning on the entire game.

“Anything else?” HAO quirked her eyebrow at Ashlyn and made her blush just a bit.

“Ah, no” Ashlyn chuckled. “But the players are starting to come out of their cool downs, Sam and I should have somebody any minute now...”

//

As wonderful as the 17 days together in England had been, it was time for the Kriegers to go home. They flew back to Boston on July 7th, the day after the WWC final, and the jet lag nearly knocked them all out for a couple of days. The NYC Krieger family had come up for their annual 2-week summer vacation the Wednesday before. Even though Ali and her family weren’t around, Kyle and Nathan had long-standing plans with their own friends from Boston and didn’t want to miss the 4th of July on the Esplanade. They all celebrated Deb’s 71st birthday on July 9th and she seemed genuinely happy about it. Ali had asked her brother to check in with their mom as she tried to come to grips with the bad news about her cousin Diana. In typical Deb fashion, she was sad as hell but not about to let it stop her from living her own life to the fullest. She and Mike Christopher had flown up to coincide with Kyle’s family vacation and were enjoying their time with Edgar and Cristina in particular.

Ashlyn had a difficult time when she got home because she hadn’t really been home for more than a few days without Persey. When she and Meg left the first week of June, the whole dog drama was very fresh and new. Ali and the kids had a couple of weeks to start getting used to the big old house without Persey in it. But not Ashlyn. It hit her hard when Vicki Krieger came over to bring Logan home and pick up her husband. The keeper half expected to see Persey trotting along behind her bigger and younger sister like she’d been doing for the past 20 months. Vicki knew immediately what was happening and she gave Ashlyn a big hug, speaking softly to her.

“I know it hurts. It’s supposed to hurt...that’s how you know you loved them right.”

The rest of the week they all just relaxed and tried to get themselves back on schedule, kids and adults alike. Ali went to the office on Thursday and Friday even though she didn’t really want to. She was nervous about being around the house too much and bringing back the problem they had solved earlier in the year. Ashlyn stayed home and did very little that wasn’t related to taking care of the kids or Logan or herself. Deb came over and got the lowdown on the trip, hearing wildly different takes on each event from all four young kids. Kyle and his family had spent the first few days of their vacation in the city with friends, but had moved up to stay at the big old house for the rest of their vacation time. Over the course of their vacation they spent a few nights in Ipswich at Ken and Vicki’s house and so they could be closer to Iris Kimball in her new senior living condominium. Kyle was so proud of his kids when they agreed to a sleepover at Abuela’s new place, even though he knew they didn’t really want to. Edgar was 11-1/2 and Cristina 9-1/2 and they were both good kids. Kyle had been prepared to put his foot down if necessary, hopefully without having to let Nathan know about it. But the kids went along to their grandmother’s condo willingly and had a good time. Their only complaint had been about the lackluster wifi connection at Iris’ condo.

Mike Harris stayed two more days to give his bum hip a break from airplane seats, and then flew back down to Satellite Beach, feeling like he’d been gone for years instead of weeks. He had enjoyed almost all of the trip, but it was a lot of travel for him and he wasn’t a great traveler. The fact that he had been willing to join them and help them out made both Ashlyn and Ali love him even more than usual. Mike made no attempt to hide how happy he was to be home though. He joked that he was done flying for the next 10 years. He had shared so many sweet and special moments with his grandkids though, that he knew if they asked him to do the same thing in 6 months he’d do it all over again. He and Ken Krieger had enjoyed each other’s company as well, bonding even more during their shared grandfather experience. As usual, Ken felt bad for Mike at first because the kids were all more comfortable with him than they were with their Florida grandfather. It was just because they saw Ken so much more than they saw Mike and all the grown-ups understood it. Ken knew which kid liked what drink and what their preferred fruit was and things like that. Mike didn’t. But he learned fast. 

The two men had many great talks and laughs during their trip. One of them had occurred while babysitting in their daughters’ suite while the two moms enjoyed a date night in London. 

“Can you believe these kids?” Mike chuckled as he looked over the living room where all 4 young Kriegers, and Ethan Machado, were sprawled out just before bedtime. The two men were standing in the small kitchenette just behind the living room area, ready to go in and bring the kids their juice and snacks. “I still can’t believe it sometimes” he shook his head and grinned at the scene before them. “I just never thought I’d be this lucky.”

Ken noticed the other man’s emotions rising up on him and let a moment pass before speaking. They were close but neither of them really wanted to cry in front of the other if they could help it.

“I know. Our girls did pretty great, didn’t they?”

“I’ll say they did” Mike smiled at Ken, silently thanking him for letting him get his shit together. “It’s hard for me sometimes...to not get worked up about it” he confessed, surprising even himself. “There was a long time where I thought I’d lost both my kids. I thought they’d just move on with their lives – and I wouldn’t blame them one bit” he added quickly. “Ash fought so hard to keep us all together. The three of us never made it easy for her. And now...” he paused again as he watched Dodge start to poke Josie. “Well, I’m just so thankful that she asked me to do this. I can’t really explain it I guess.”

“I’m glad Vicki couldn’t make it this time” Ken replied and then his face dropped. “I don’t mean that the way it sounds” he laughed nervously as Mike joined him with a big laugh of his own. “I love my wife and I wish she was here. But...”

“It’s good to have Grandpa and Papa for a change, right?”

“Yes” Ken nodded with another chuckle. “Especially now that they’re out of diapers and can take care of themselves.”

“No kidding!”

It was almost two hours later, after getting the kids put to bed and the suite tidied up, that the grandfathers got to talk again. Mike put the tv on to a rugby match, he and Dodge had both been enthralled by the exciting sport, and they sat down to wait for Ali and Ashlyn to come home.

“You know, there aren’t really...I don’t have the words to tell you how much I appreciate everything you and Vicki do for my girl” Mike spoke slowly and clearly as the two men sat on either end of the couch, both facing the tv. “Especially last year, after all of that...mess. I wish I could have been there for her more, we all did, but knowing you were there...well, it made us all feel better. It made me feel better, for sure.”

Ken was surprised at how chatty Mike was being that night but then, when he thought more about it, they had spent almost two full weeks together already and had certainly gotten more comfortable with each other. It wasn’t that they weren’t already comfortable, but neither man was much of a chatterbox. The trip and the time together had definitely made them closer and Ken was glad about it.

“You know, nobody did very much of anything except for the two of them” Ken deflected any praise coming his way. “I know it was a tough year for them, and we tried to be there when they needed us, but they’re the ones who did it.”

They were quiet for a couple of minutes, watching the game and enjoying the lack of kid-racket. Mike thought that was going to be the end of their conversation, and that would have been ok with him. He’d wanted to find a good time to thank Ken like that for two weeks. He had said his piece and was content to let it go. But it was Mike’s turn to be surprised by the other man’s candor that night.

“I’m sorry Mike” Ken’s voice was steady but quiet.

“For what?”

There was a pause and Mike thought maybe he had missed something. He was confused as he waited for Ken to continue.

“I promised you that I’d look out for Ash, that I’d...take care of her for you...like my own. And I let you down...”

“Ken...”

The two men shared a conflicted look, both wearing half-frowns of worry and remorse. Ken honestly didn’t know what else to say. He’d been carrying that weight with him ever since Emily Quindlen wreaked her havoc a year and a half ago. He knew, in his brain, that there wasn’t anything he could have done to prevent it. But, as a father who had anguished over the pain his own daughter suffered through the stalking drama as well as the physical attack, he was full of regret. The truth was, he had come to love Ashlyn as if she were his own daughter and he felt like he’d let both she and Ali down somehow. Mike cleared his throat, unsure how to reply to something that so obviously didn’t need to be said. 

“That’s bullshit and you know it” Mike held the eye contact to make sure Ken knew how serious he was. “Nobody could have done anything about any of that. I’ve talked to Ash about not beating herself up about not seeing it sooner. I’ve talked to Chris too. He thinks he should have been able to stop it” Mike chuckled and then let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sure you’ve had the same talks with Ali and Deb and Vicki and Kyle...” he let his voice fade out as he shook his head. “Even if I’d been here there’s nothing I could have done to stop it from happening. All I could have done was be there for her when it was over...like you were. That’s why I thanked you before. For all of that afterwards stuff. You don’t owe me an apology” he paused for another few seconds and then gave Ken a genuine, reassuring smile. “The only person who should be sorry is locked up in a mental hospital, where she belongs. I know you know that.”

“I suppose I do, you’re right” Ken sighed and looked a bit embarrassed. 

They both turned back to the tv and the awkward silence that fell between them turned into normal silence after a few minutes. Each man in his own soft-spoken way had communicated his sorrow and remorse about the stalker. Neither of them doubted for a second that the other would have done anything in his power to prevent Emily Quindlen from hurting Ashlyn and Ali. It hadn’t needed to be said, yet they both tried to say it anyway. They both also knew that they would most likely never speak of it again. And that was ok. As they kept watching the game, they saw bone-crushing tackle after head-rattling take-down and more than one player escorted from the pitch to be tended to in order to stop some bleeding from one of their extremities.

“So, how long before Dodger decides rugby is the game for him?” Ken asked with a chuckle and both men laughed heartily.

“Oh, I’d say any minute now” Mike grinned at Ken. “God help us all.”

//

The rest of the world kept turning, even while Ashlyn had been in England for the month of June. The bad news about Deb’s cousin Diana had been tempered by the wonderful news that Brianna and Koty were finally expecting a baby. It was too early to tell the world yet, but the happy couple couldn’t wait to let their families know that their long, painful struggle to get pregnant was finally over. If everything went as planned, Brianna would give birth in February next year. Vicki was beyond excited and couldn’t wait to be a grandmother to her own son’s baby. She loved being Vivi to Ali and Kyle’s kids but to have her own baby boy all grown up and expecting his own baby was something special for every mother. 

There had also been birthdays missed. Kyle celebrated his 47th in style down in NYC with all of his friends, as usual. In large part because he had been single for so long, Kyle Krieger had a huge network of really good friends and he continued to put the time in to keep most of those friendships alive and well, even as a busy father of 2 kids now. Those friends always seemed to show up for him on his birthday. Maybe they didn’t see each other very often anymore, and maybe they didn’t always exchange Christmas cards every year, and maybe they weren’t completely caught up on all the details of each other’s lives anymore – but Kyle always had a big party for his birthday with a ton of his friends. Nathan made sure it was planned out in advance so everyone could schedule around it. That was a big reason for the great turnout every year and Kyle knew it. But mostly, everybody showed up to tell Kyle how much they loved him and nothing more.

Tommy Flanagan turned 4 years old on Sunday 6-29 and it broke Ali and Ashlyn’s heart to miss his party. Ali and the kids made sure to bring his presents to him a week early, before they left for the UK trip, and Ashlyn FaceTimed an absolutely goofy message to the toddler on his big day from her hotel room. She had been concerned to see that the boy was sick. Again. Tommy had been sick off and on since just before Christmas last year and it was starting to make everybody nervous, not just Whitney. Ali and Ashlyn knew how frustrating it could be to get the right medical help when the experts weren’t sure what exactly the problem was. It had taken over a year to get Drew’s stomach problems figured out. Ashlyn was afraid her best friend was on the same road with her own little boy this time.

And Josephine Marie Krieger turned 10 years old on June 19th and had to share her big day with the last day of school celebration. Ali and Vicki had taken the kids to Dave & Buster’s entertainment center and they all had a good time. They let Josie bring her bestie, Kayla, and they had birthday cake and presents back at the big old house afterwards. Ashlyn FaceTimed three different times during the afternoon and evening to check in on her little one, missing her terribly and feeling like the worst mother in the world for missing her birthday. The good news was that she would see Josie in just 2 days and that’s what they all clung to as they tried to figure out what felt so different about this birthday than all their other ones. This was the first time either Ali or Ashlyn had ever missed one of the kids’ birthdays. Both moms were upset about it. They had tried to schedule Ali and the rest of her group to come to the UK a few days early just to avoid the problem. But there were end of school parties and activities that none of the kids wanted to miss. And Josie was playing a piano solo at the end of school year recital and made it crystal clear that she did not want to miss that.

To rectify the missed 10th birthday situation, the biggest birthday the Kriegers celebrated up to that point in the kids’ lives, the whole family got together the first Saturday after the WWC for Josie’s big day. The redhead was generous enough to share her day with Deb too, whose birthday had just been 3 days earlier. Ali made the birthday cake in the shape of the number 10 and still hid the coins in each piece, wrapping one special button in aluminum foil as always. Koty was still Josie’s favorite guy and he and Brianna were there, as were Ken and Vicki and Deb and Mike and most of the four-families. Kyle, Nathan and their kids were in the middle of their annual summer beach vacation so they were there, and even Iris and Jared Kimball joined them for the party. Tammye, Carol, and both Harris kids planned their visit so they could be there too. It turned into a much bigger party as the day got closer. Several friends that Ali and Ashlyn hadn’t seen in a while made the drive up to Gloucester for different parts of the afternoon and evening. The old Ipswich high school crew was there – Carm & Kacey, Jessie, Liz, and Erica and her daughter Maisy. And Sarah and Erin Campbell-Warren brought their daughter Daphne to celebrate as well.

Josie wanted a musical party, which surprised absolutely nobody. Her two moms rented a big tent and set it up in the driveway so there would be something sturdy to set the small stage up on. Then they rented a karaoke machine set up, complete with the monitor that scrolled through the lyrics for you – in a nice big font so even the old people could read them. That was the main attraction and it turned out to be a ton of fun. Before the end of the party almost everybody had gotten up to try some sort of song, even if it was with 2 or 3 other people for moral support. Ali had always wanted to be able to sing. It was her secret fantasy wish that she didn’t keep very secret anymore. She loved that her daughter had been gifted with vocal talent that neither she nor Kyle had been given. She and Syd got up and did their patented cover of Salt-N-Pepa’s ‘Shoop’, complete with the dance routine their 9-year old selves had choreographed, and brought the house down. Even Josie was impressed and looked at her Mom with new admiration after that.

“I’ll never forget the first time I saw her do that” Ashlyn laughed as she stood next to Whitney and Niki after the performance. “Man...” she shook her head with a dimple-bearing grin on her face.

“I remember it too” Whitney quirked an eyebrow at the keeper and then looked around quickly to make sure neither Sarah or Erin were within earshot. “Karaoke bar in Allston, after the loss to...” she scrunched up her face as her brain worked hard to recall the details of that night back in June of 2015. “Seattle?”

“Yeah, Seattle” Ashlyn nodded, still grinning. “That’s the night.”

“Ali was such a good sport” Whitney chuckled. “Syd literally dragged her up there, but she did it.”

“That sounds like the Ali we all know and love” Niki nodded with her own smile.

“Yeah but I had the best seat in the house that night” Whitney spoke mysteriously, getting both women’s attention before continuing with wagging eyebrows. “To another show entirely.”

“What?” Ashlyn frowned and then laughed.

“Spill it girl” Niki urged.

“While Ali was up there dazzling everybody with ‘Shoop’, this knucklehead” she elbowed the keeper, “looked like a lovestruck teenager. It was hilarious. She practically had heart eyes and drool on her chin.”

“Oh man, I can just see her sitting there now...” Niki giggled.

“Standing, I was standing” Ashlyn corrected with her own laugh. “Get it right.”

“Ok, yeah, um...I can just see her standing there now” Niki continued without missing a beat. “Did she hold a lighter up and was she swaying side to side?”

“Pretty much” Whitney laughed and then looked around again before stepping closer and lowering her voice. “But the worst part was Sarah had the exact same dopey look on her face” the lawyer made an eek face and Ashlyn groaned.

“Ooooh, things were still complicated then huh?” Niki put her arm around Ashlyn’s shoulders and gave her a playful sidehug. “That sucks.”

“If you mean both of these numbskulls were dating other people even though they were madly in love with each other, then yeah...it was still complicated” Whitney laughed again, poking Ashlyn in the ribs and making her whine and then groan again.

“Hey, you’re not supposed to be laughing so hard at our performance” Ali hugged her wife from the other side. “Unless it’s just at Syd, then that’s ok.”

“Nice Krieger, very nice” Sydney hipchecked her with a giggle. “I think we’ve only gotten better” she posed dramatically and then changed two or three different poses as everybody laughed with her. “Wait til you see us after another 15 years!”

There were 11 of Josie’s friends from school and drama and music camps and they hogged the stage for the better part of the afternoon – as it should be. They giggled so much that it was hard to understand their words most of the time, but nobody really cared as long as they were having fun. Drew and Ethan Machado and Edgar Guerrero and Evan Cross were there, all between 11 & 12 years of age and leading the boys crew of partygoers. They had been put on notice that they were to be nice to Josie and her friends and generally give way to the girls whenever possible. Everybody was bummed that Meg couldn’t be there, but she was spending most of July and August in DC with her mom and her friends back home. She was interning for the Washington Spirit for 6 weeks and wouldn’t be back up in Boston until the second week of August when her BC team went back to the 8th and final week of the Academy to kick off their preseason program. The thoughtful college kid made sure to call her favorite red-headed sister to wish her the best on her big birthday celebration day. Josie’s face lit up as she spoke on the phone with her big sister Meg. Josie and her friends were at the age when anything having to do with older high school age kids absolutely dazzled them. College age was even more dazzling and Josie’s friends were impressed that big sister Meg made the time that day.

The surprise hit of the day was down in the basement of the big old house and carried through with the music theme of the day. After dozens of different iterations over the years, Guitar Hero was on the Playstation and more popular than ever. Party guests, four at a time, took turns blasting out songs as they ‘played’ lead guitar, bass guitar, drums, and sang vocals. Kyle had given it to the Kriegers for Christmas that year and no-one in the family could figure out how or why they had gone without it for so long. All of the kids loved music. Even Drew, who was getting to the ‘too cool for school’ stage of his youth, still loved playing his trumpet in middle school band. So Guitar Hero had been an instant hit in the house and Drew had stiff competition for video game time for the rest of his teenage years after that. Ashlyn and Drew kept the game updated with as much current music as possible and Ali made sure they included all of the older songs as well – they were the ones she still had a chance of knowing all the words to.

Dodge and Lily had just turned 8 years old in May and they were both excited to start playing a real instrument like their big brother and big sister did when they started 3rd grade in September. Lily immediately chose the French horn because she wanted to play a brass instrument like Drew but she was trying not to be a total copycat so she couldn’t choose the trumpet. It had come down to the French horn or the trombone and the whole family breathed a sigh of relief at her decision. The French horn was big, but the trombone was bigger and both moms cringed at dealing with the unwieldy instrument in their already cramped vehicles. Secretly, they were praying for a nice, compact woodwind instrument like the clarinet or another flute like Josie had chosen. No such luck.

Dodge, on the other hand, couldn’t make up his mind about what instrument he wanted to play. He liked the trumpet because he idolized Drew and he thought his Mama’s poster of Miles Davis was cool. He toyed with the idea of the saxophone for awhile but that changed to the clarinet and then the whole topic went away for a few weeks. But now that they were back from their WWC trip he was thinking hard about it again. He and Lily and Drew were all going to a music camp at the end of the month and he was hoping to have his decision made by then – although he didn’t have to. The music camp was for all ages and the campers attended different lessons and ensemble practice based on their skill level and age level once they got there. Josie was going to the music camp a different week that summer because she was going to be at The Academy and would miss the other Krieger kids’ music camp.

“How does he not realize that he should play the drums?” Julie Donaldson chuckled as she and Ali watched the Guitar Hero goings on from halfway down the basement steps. They were checking to make sure all was well and had to shout to hear each other as the song blared from the fancy gaming sound system. “I mean, really?”

Ali watched her youngest son wielding the drumsticks and bass drum pedal like a champ and felt like an idiot for not seeing it herself. He had always had coordination and pretty good timing. He could definitely feel the rhythm and follow the beat. Ali was determined to make him a great dancer because she knew he had it in him – or she was at least going to make him confident enough to never hesitate about getting up to dance. The brunette had the same goal for Drew but he was far too shy and she knew it was a lost cause. 

“Holy shit Jules!” Ali shouted, just as the song came to an end, and her voice boomed through the room. 

Vicki, Maisy, who had just turned 9 years old in June, one of Josie’s friends from school, and Dodge, as well as the other 9 people watching and waiting their turns, all turned around to see who was swearing and doing it so loudly.

“Oops, sorry” Ali cringed and blushed as Julie backed up the stairs, out of view. “Anybody need anything down here?”

Now that Josie was 10, the new ‘big kid’ rules finally applied to her. She could stay up reading in bed until 9pm like Drew could. She could take her shower whenever she wanted to between dinner and bedtime. She got her first cellphone, stripped down to the base level as her big brother’s had been two years earlier. She got her first allowance - $5 a week. She got more time with her kindle and video games. She was allowed to go to the bathroom and concession stand by herself when they were all out together at the movies or little league field. Josie was also now responsible, alternating weeks with Drew, for taking the trash and recycling bins by the garage down to the curb every Friday morning before school. And she was now also old enough to start mowing the lawn, again alternating with Drew. 

Ali and Ashlyn had some serious discussions about whether or not Josie was physically big and strong enough to handle mowing the lawn. There was no easy answer and they were hoping to just let it slide without making a big deal out of it one way or the other. But there was no way Josie was letting that happen. She’d been looking forward to the biggest big kid chore of them all since Drew started doing it when he turned 10. The eager redhead practically demanded her chance to do it, as if she was some long lost royal fighting for their birthright to the throne.

“But Drew did it when he turned 10” she argued effectively when the discussion came up the day after the big party. “It’s my turn and you have to teach me how” she demanded, stamping her foot as she often did when she was frustrated and trying hard to control her temper.

“First of all, we don’t have to do anything” Ashlyn shot her stubborn daughter a look. She had just finished cleaning up after breakfast and was drying her hands on the dishtowel as she leaned against the sink and faced the rest of the kitchen. “We’re the parents and you’re the child and we make the rules, remember?”

The frown on Josie’s face got harder and the color started to flush her cheeks as she got more upset while she listened. She was standing near the small, 2-person table in front of the fireplace and watching both her mothers carefully.

“Second...” Ali took her turn as she finished loading the dishwasher next to the sink, talking to Josie over her shoulder before standing to face her with a sympathetic smile. “It’s a safety thing honey. You’re not as big as Drew was when he started doing it...”

“But you always tell me that I can do whatever the bigger kids do” she put her hands on her hips and stuck her bottom lip out in a dramatic, but honest, pout. “I just have to try harder and sometimes it takes longer.”

Ali and Ashlyn exchanged a look, wishing they had come to a clearer decision themselves before being put on the spot that way.

“You’re right” the keeper nodded as she sighed and gave her daughter a worried half-smile. “We do say that to you, all the time. And it’s true. But...”

“But no” Josie interrupted, her face twisting with emotion.

But neither mom was sure if she was angry or sad. They didn’t know if she was going to argue and have an irate fit or burst into forlorn tears. The 10-year old looked like a kettle about to whistle, her arms were straight down her sides with clenched fists at the end of each one. Her shoulders were up tight by her ears and she was holding her breath. Her face was red and it looked like steam was literally about to come out of both of her ears.

“We never said no, and if you’d stop interrupting we could tell you what we’re saying” Ali quirked her eyebrow in warning.

“But you didn’t say yes” the kettle continued to boil.

“Because this isn’t a yes or no answer this time” Ashlyn folded her arms across her chest but made sure to keep a small smile on her face. It wouldn’t do any good if Josie felt like they were ganging up on her. “We’re going to try it” the keeper looked quickly at her wife who had the same unsure, anxious look on her face that Ashlyn did. “But if we decide you’re not ready then that’s it, you’re not going to do it.”

“We’ll keep trying every few months until you are ready” the brunette added with another nod as she took the dishtowel off her wife’s shoulder and dried her own hands. “But the answer might still be no for a while. Do you understand?”

The grin on Josie’s face told them both that she had probably stopped listening after ‘we’re going to try it’ had left Ashlyn’s lips. Or if she had heard the rest of the words they certainly hadn’t been processed by her big brain yet.

“Did you hear your mother?” the keeper raised her eyebrows, looking expectantly at the redhead.

“Yes” Josie nodded eagerly. “We’re gonna try it!”

“And...?” Ashlyn gave her the same face but just her right side instead of the left that time.

“And it might not work” the girl added quickly as she beamed up at her parents with her bright blue eyes shining. “But we’re gonna try it.” She was bouncing on her toes and clapping her hands in excitement as she gave first Ashlyn and then Ali big hugs. “Can we try it now?”

“No, little one,” Ali chuckled as they separated from the hug. “Drew just mowed it Friday. But we’ll try it next Friday, ok?”

“Awww...” she whined and frowned again.

“Or we can not try it at all” the keeper gave Josie another stern look, not liking the whining or the attitude.

“No, I’m sorry. Next Friday is good!” she rattled off quickly and then skipped out of the room with a giggle before either of her moms could change their mind.

In between the raucous karaoke and Guitar Hero challenges at Josie’s birthday party, there were quieter moments all throughout the big old house and the backyard and the garage. One of the sweetest, and the one that many partygoers would remember as the first time they realized that Josie was pretty good tickling the ivories, was an impromptu piano duet with the birthday girl and her Uncle Nathan. The two piano lovers had worked on a few different piano duets over the past year or so, just for fun. Nathan was nowhere near as talented as Josie was but with practice he could more than carry his own half of the duet. They had mastered several Disney songs and, of course, the old stand-bys ‘Chopsticks’ and ‘Heart and Soul’. They had branched out to other standards as well. But their latest duet was ‘Love Song’ by Sara Bareilles and they wowed the crowd that Saturday afternoon with Josie playing the top part and Nathan keeping the rhythm down below. 

“Oh my God I had no idea she was THAT good” Sarah commented with wide eyes after the performers played a couple of other songs after ‘Love Song’. “Wow.”

“She loves it” Ali grinned, humbly deflecting the compliment.

“They don’t make a big deal out of it” Molly nudged Ali’s shoulder as the three friends stood in the dining room talking. “I think they’re trying to keep her humble” she winked.

“It’s like pulling teeth trying to get Daphne to practice” the architect rolled her eyes. “I don’t know how hard to push her. I don’t want to make her do something she doesn’t want to, but she asked to play the violin. It was her idea.”

“Penny’s the same way” Molly nodded. “Evan loves it, Noah hated it and quit right away, and Penny’s right in the middle. She asked to play but we have to practically bribe her to practice” she shook her head. “I don’t get it.”

“Drew’s like that too. I can tell that he really enjoys playing but yeah, it’s brutal trying to get him to practice” Ali sympathized. “We finally had to tie it to his video game time” she shrugged. “That’s the only incentive that really works with him.”

“Well Josie’s incredible” Sarah smiled at Ali.

“Thanks” the brunette replied sheepishly. “But we had nothing to do with it. She’s just always loved music and the piano especially. I’m terrified of how the twins are going to be” she made an eek face and chuckled. “Pray for us” she teased and they all laughed. Even Sarah knew that Lily Krieger could be the most stubborn of all the kids sometimes.

The highlight of the whole party though, was the video that Kyle put together for his beloved niece on her monumental 10th birthday. He was worried about showing it to everybody, just because Josie might not want that. But Ali assured him that her little drama queen would love the whole world to see the video. She was absolutely certain of it. And she was right.

“Alright Josephine” Kyle grinned as he stood in the front living room near the tv, just as he had done two summers ago when Drew had turned 10. “Come here my little dancing queen” he beamed at his niece as she grinned and walked to his side.

The house was packed with guests, sitting wherever they could and standing and leaning in the doorways to the room to listen to and see whatever Kyle had planned. Josie hugged him and then stood in front of him, reaching up and holding his hand and looking adorable. Her short purple skirt was her favorite thing to wear that summer because it was pretty and frilly but also soft and comfortable and short enough that it didn’t restrict her movement too much. She had paired it that day with a sparkly yellow t-shirt that said ‘Birthday Princess’ on the front. Her feet were bare and her above the shoulder-length orange-red hair was back in a tiara-style headband. Her sparkly fake-diamond earrings reflected the sunlight coming into the room from the driveway side of the house every time she turned her head. And she turned her head a lot as she methodically twisted her body from side to side in front of almost everybody she loved. The only thing brighter than her earrings was her big, toothy smile – complete with the missing lower tooth, second from the middle.

“I knew this day was coming” Kyle continued, brimming with love and pride for his niece. “I did this for Drew two years ago and I’ve been working on this ever since then. But I’m still surprised that you’re already 10 stinking years old!” he leaned down and kissed the top of Josie’s head, making her giggle. “For those of you who don’t know me, I’m a photographer and I’ve been taking pictures and videos of these munchkins ever since they were born. And this one, well, this one sure knew how to make an entrance” he squeezed his niece’s hand and shoulder and gave Ali a meaningful look and nod as he scanned the room. “Miss Josephine came early and surprised us all. She nearly gave her moms a heart attack” he sucked in a breath and then decided to keep going, respecting his sister’s privacy. “But after a nerve-wracking beginning, we were blessed with this incredibly tiny little beauty. She was so small and she looked so delicate and she needed a little help at the very beginning of her life, but don’t let any of that fool you. This is one of the toughest, bravest kids I’ve ever known.”

Everybody who knew the harrowing story of Josie’s birth and the difficult summer that followed for her moms and the years of special formula she would need in her bottles, had tears in their eyes.

“My favorite thing about you when you were just a baby was that you used to laugh in your sleep” his eyebrows went up when the girl turned and looked up at him with a questioning smile. She had heard the story before because both her moms loved to tell it. But it wasn’t something she thought about very often. “It’s true! I’ve even got it on video” he pointed his thumb over his shoulder towards the tv and laughed. “It was hard for you when you were just a baby and sometimes we wondered if you were happy because sometimes you had a pretty serious look on your face” he frowned. “But then you started to giggle...no it wasn’t really a giggle was it?” he looked to his sister for help describing the sound of baby Josie’s laughter.

“More of a chuckle, but cuter” Ali offered with a nose-wrinkling grin. “It was the cutest thing I’d ever heard.”

“I’ll say” Kyle squeezed Josie’s shoulder again. “Well when we heard you chuckling adorably in your sleep, we knew you were gonna be ok. It was your own little way of telling us all to relax.”

Everybody laughed again, including Josie and all of her friends who had never heard any of this information. Deb rubbed Ashlyn’s back as they stood together in the mudroom, watching the heartfelt introduction. 

“So we should have known she’d have a special talent for performing after that dramatic entrance, right?” Kyle teased and everybody laughed, grateful for the light moment. “Well I’m going to be famous on some trivia show someday as the answer to the question ‘Who made the first film that Josephine Krieger starred in?’ and I couldn’t be happier about that” he grinned again. “I made this for you so you know what we all see when we look at you. And someday, when you want to look back and see where and how it all started, you’ll have this to tell and show you. I love you so much my sweet niece. Happy Birthday!”

Just as he had done for Drew’s 10th birthday video, Kyle had edited together an hour-long video with pictures, interviews with the birthday girl herself at each birthday, candid and posed shots, and even some surreptitious video of Josie and the other kids being cute and sweet with each other. And just like with Drew, most of the kids got bored before the video was even done. But the grown-ups loved every minute of it, the funny moments and the precious moments and the borderline-bratty moments and everything in between.

“Ugh, you made me a blubbering mess again” Ali whined into her brother’s chest as he gave her a big hug after they watched the whole video. “God, I love you.”

“I love you too sissy” his voice was emotional from inside the hug. “This one was tough, really really tough for me. You were in so many of the pics and videos and...you were so...pale and sad and...I don’t know” he shook his head slowly as they pulled apart. “It was hard” he squeaked out as his eyes teared up.

“Hey, is this where the crybabies are meeting?” Ashlyn joked, tears in her eyes too.

“Come here babe” Ali pulled her into a three-way hug.

Before long Sydney, Whitney and Deb had all joined in on the hug that was more giggles than it was tears anymore.

“Alright, alright, break it up” Nathan joked as he pulled his husband out of the hug from behind. All 6 of them laughed and started to wipe their eyes. “There’s a party going on here, in case you’ve all forgotten!” he quirked his eyebrow and poked Ashlyn and Deb in the ribs as he walked by them back towards the kitchen.

“Ugh, who brought him anyway?” Kyle quipped as he pulled his sister into one more quick hug.

“Thank you BB” she spoke softly to her big brother. “Thank you for loving my babies so much.”


	27. The Academy Year 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is today's chapter. :)

Year 7 of The Academy was even more successful and popular than the previous year had been. The satellite weekend camps that they had started doing at the beginning of the year had also been very successful and the enrollment at The Academy reflected that. More and more campers were signing up from farther away and it was a direct result of Kristie Mewis, Sam Mewis, and Stephanie McCaffrey’s hard work on those weekend camps. The dozens of volunteer coaches who came up to The Academy in the summer time were also happy to go spend a day at the satellite camps when they popped up in their areas. The Board Members of The Academy voted to increase the size of the summer camp to try and accommodate more girls, and that required building some more sleeping cabins. The construction project was scheduled for the winter, in hopes of being completed and ready for use at year 8 of The Academy. But building in New Hampshire in the winter months was tricky business. Everybody agreed that if the weather was uncooperative they would have to wait until the Spring, which meant they wouldn’t be done in time for year 8. It was a high-class problem to have, that was for sure. 

Lizzy Harris had attended the first three weeks of The Academy this summer, making it the second year in a row she’d been able to do that. She was 11-1/2 years old and not nervous about being there at all anymore. In fact, Beth had been doing her best to keep her daughter’s excitement in check for the first half of the month of June. She kept reminding Lizzy that Ashlyn wasn’t going to be there and Lizzy kept saying she didn’t care. They all knew she cared, but that she meant it wasn’t going to be a problem for her being there without her auntie. Tammye and Carol, her 5-month old hip feeling much better, rented a different house up in Rockport for the summer and flew up to Boston with Lizzy the day before The Academy started in June. Which was also the day Ali and her crew flew to the UK for their WWC trip. Ali made sure that Sydney kept an eye on the young Harris camper, and the coach assured her that she would take excellent care of her. The plan was for 14-year old Johnny Harris to fly up on his own at the end of the third week so he and Lizzy could spend the fourth week of summer with their cousins, arriving in time for Josie’s big party on July 12th. He wasn’t quite 14 yet, but his birthday was at the end of the month, 3 days after Ali’s, so close enough. Tammye and Carol knew that the Harris kids wanted to stay at the big old house with their cousins but they knew Edgar and Cristina were already visiting.

“Oh don’t worry” Ashlyn had assured them when the summer plans were being finalized back in May. “We’ll make Kyle and Nate go stay with Deb or Ken for their second week. We’ll keep the kids though” she winked.

“You are a glutton for punishment” Tammye had clucked over the phone at the idea of all four Krieger kids, both Guerrero kids, and both Harris kids staying in Ashlyn’s house at the same time. “Please tell me you talked to your wife about this at least?”

Ali made sure the 8 kids all had something to do during their week together, and she relied on the grandparents for lots of help. It was the brunette’s first full week back at work after their WWC vacation and Ashlyn’s first full week at The Academy. Luckily, almost all of the kids still loved spending a day at the beach so if all else failed, they could still do that. Kyle and Nathan were the defacto ringleaders for the week. They were in charge of most of the tough stuff, not wanting to wear any of the grandparents out too much. Especially not the ones with new hips and knees. They spent a day at Ken and Vicki’s house, enjoying the beautiful inground swimming pool that hardly got used anymore. They spent a day at Tammye and Carol’s rented beach house, exploring a new section of the Rockport coastline and enjoying it. They spent a day at Deb and Mike’s condo – more aptly at the club swimming pool, game room, and hiking trails. And they spent a day at Good Harbor Beach, never leaving the vicinity of the big old house. Once Ashlyn finished The Academy on Thursday night, she joined the fun for Friday and finished the week off with a flourish by taking everybody in to the Revs/Breakers stadium for some behind the scenes tours and hanging around. 

It was great to see all the kids together, and they genuinely seemed to enjoy each other’s company. But there were some fights and hurt feelings and minor injuries, as there always seemed to be. There were also some truly sweet moments that sprang up out of nowhere, like when Johnny went out of his way to make sure Lily got a chance to score a goal during their intense 4v4 soccer games. Dodge was pissed because his older cousin didn’t extend him the same courtesy. But that was ok because Dodge didn’t need any help scoring goals. Josie and Lizzy continued to have their struggles. The older Lizzy got, the less inclined she was to put up with Josie’s bossiness. Cristina and Lily weren’t sure what to do, because they were so used to just doing whatever the redhead suggested that the concept of doing something else was completely foreign to them. It was hard and stressful at times and Ali made sure her wife knew it, especially when the keeper stuck to her usual Academy schedule of sleeping at the camp on Sunday and Tuesday nights. That left Ali as the sole grown-up with 8 kids and 2 dogs under one roof. Ashlyn’s phone lit up Tuesday at about 11:15pm.

Aliebe: Who’s idea was it to have everybody stay here this week again?  
Ashlyn:  
Aliebe: Are you up??  
Ashlyn:  
Aliebe: I’m up. Lizzy’s got an ear infection and she can’t sleep. If she asks for you again I’m calling you.  
Ashlyn:  
Aliebe: ASHLYN!!! I swear, if you shut your phone off...  
Ashlyn: Hi. I’m here. What’s the matter?  
Aliebe: Finally.  
Ashlyn: Sorry, I was asleep.  
Aliebe: Must be nice...  
Ashlyn: I’d rather be there with you...  
Aliebe: No you wouldn’t. Then we’d both be up with poor Lizzy.   
Ashlyn: Well we’re both up now. ;)  
Aliebe: ha ha very funny :[  
Ashlyn: I’m sorry baby. Is she back to sleep yet? I’ll call her...”  
Aliebe: She’s sleeping. I gave her more medicine and she cried herself to sleep. It was awful. I just rubbed her back and held her. I don’t know what else to do.  
Ashlyn: Aw, that’s the worst. I’m so sorry honey. Really. Do you want me to come home?  
Aliebe: No, I made Kyle and Nate stay tonight because last night was such a disaster getting everybody to stay in bed.  
Ashlyn: Good. Genius plan. That was brutal last night.  
Aliebe:  
Ashlyn: So what can I do for you my sweet sugarplum?  
Aliebe:  
Ashlyn: Are you still there?  
Aliebe: Yeah, I just peed and I’m back in bed.  
Ashlyn: Ok well get some sleep. Call me if you need me.  
Aliebe: I miss you.  
Ashlyn: I miss you too. <3  
Aliebe: I don’t like it when you’re not here. And it’s always harder after we’ve spent a bunch of time together.  
Ashlyn: Like 17 days in England?  
Aliebe: Exactly.  
Ashlyn: I’m sorry honey. :(  
Aliebe: I’m tired of kids, lol. There I said it.  
Ashlyn: Aw baby...just another week and a half and it’ll just be our kids again. That’s a little better, right?  
Aliebe: I guess. A little. ;)  
Ashlyn: This summer is packed tight, that’s for sure. Next year let’s do less, ok? It shouldn’t be this hard.  
Aliebe: No, I want them to do their camps and have visits from their cousins. I’m just being a brat. I’m tired and cranky. And I miss you.  
Ashlyn: Well I’ll be home tomorrow night. We’ll make them all do windsprints and burpees until they’re exhausted and pass out. Then we can have some peace and quiet.  
Aliebe: lol I love it.  
Ashlyn: I love you. Xxxxx  
Aliebe: Me too you. Xxxxx Night babe.  
Ashlyn: Sweet dreams.

But the most surprising thing of all happened at the very end of the week. Saturday morning most of the kids were downstairs eating breakfast at a leisurely pace or getting ready to go back to the stadium for the Breakers game later that afternoon. But Lily and Cristina were nowhere to be found. Ali continued making sure the kids all got enough to eat while the keeper went upstairs to check on the two girls. What she saw when she quickly knocked and then opened the door to Josie’s room, where Cristina was sleeping in the extra bed for the week, left her completely stunned.

Both girls were sitting on Cristina’s bed, along the front wall of the room. Lily was 8 and Cristina 9-1/2 years old that summer. They were facing each other hunched over, with their legs spread open and bent at the knees. Neither girl had any pajamas on the lower half of their bodies anymore.

“Ummm...” Ashlyn stammered, mouth open as she struggled to process what she was seeing. 

Part of her brain was screaming at her to close the door and back out into the hallway. Another part was telling her to breathe and stay calm. A third part was reminding her not to make the girls feel like...whatever they were doing, was wrong. Both girls looked up and, in Lily’s case over her shoulder, at the keeper. They looked guilty and Cristina put both of her hands down between her legs to cover herself up when she saw Ashlyn’s eyes focus there for a second. The keeper took a breath and made her eyes move to Lily’s face, and then Cristina’s, both pink with embarrassment.

“What’s going on girls?” she was happy to hear that her voice sounded light and friendly and she added a slightly awkward smile to help sell the fake calm she was going for. She took a step into the room and closed the door behind her, not wanting any more company at the moment. “Everything ok?” she asked in the same light, friendly voice.

“We’re looking at our vanginas” Lily smiled, relieved to see her Mama smiling too.

“Oh, ok” Ashlyn nodded and approached the bed, happy to see that Cristina looked less nervous too. Her own heartrate had slowed a bit. Every time she heard any of her kids mispronounce vagina that way it always made her smile. She couldn’t help it. “Are you both ok with that? Your private parts are private, right?”

“Yeah, well, Cristina said she never saw another vangina before” Lily shrugged. “So I showed her mine.”

“Alright, well, let’s get dressed and we can look at some of our books together, ok?” Ashlyn handed the girls their pajama bottoms and went to the bookshelf to see if one of the sex education books was there. “Or do you want to eat breakfast first?”

Both girls were more interested in the book and Ashlyn’s attention and all three of them sat together on Cristina’s bed and went through the book. Ashlyn knew that Kyle and Nathan had approached sex and bodies the same way that she and Ali had with their kids. Be open and honest and encourage any and all conversations about all of it. But as she sat there, listening to the two girls talk and ask questions, she couldn’t help but feel bad that Cristina was growing up in a house where she hadn’t had the chance to see the naked body of a woman in the flesh. All four young Krigers, and Meg too for that matter, had seen both Ali and Ashlyn naked a lot. It’s just what happened when you were raising kids. When they were younger, the kids had absolutely no concept of privacy or boundaries and they walked in to bathrooms and bedrooms and saw their moms getting into or out of the shower, or getting changed after work or dressed in the morning. One of the four kids was always with Ali as she got changed after work, usually prattling on about something and not paying any real attention to their mommy’s body. And Dodge must have seen her get dressed in the morning a million times. As they got older and began to grasp the concept of privacy, the barging in happened less often. But kids were kids and, even with the twins at 8 now, they still barged into the master bathroom sometimes. Their little minds were thinking about other things and remembering to knock or waiting for Ali or Ashlyn to reply to the knock were not at the top of that list all the time. 

But Cristina hadn’t had that. Ashlyn had no doubt that Kyle and Nathan had been caught naked just as often and for exactly the same reasons. It made the keeper think hard and she didn’t like the question she was left with afterwards.

“I never thought about it like that before Al” she spoke quickly as she paced along the foot of the bed later that night. “We did the same thing to our boys, but the opposite” she shook her head, flustered at her inability to get the words out fast enough and in the right order.

“Whoa, honey, slow down” Ali encouraged as she got into bed and propped herself up against the headboard. “What are you talking about?”

Ashlyn had told both Ali and Kyle about the surprise sex education hour she had shared with Lily and Cristina that morning and both Krieger siblings had praised her for doing such a good job. Kyle hugged her harder than she could remember recently, telling her that Cristina was so shy with so many women that he and Nathan worried about her getting her questions asked and answered. But Ashlyn hadn’t admitted what was bothering her until that night, there in their bedroom with her wife.

“I was feeling bad for Cristina this morning, like she’d gotten robbed of being around a real live woman who she could see naked every once in a while when she was growing up.”

“Right, I get that” Ali nodded as she picked up the book of poetry they’d been trying to read together all year long.

“Don’t you see?” the keeper’s face was wrought with concern and she stopped pacing and focused entirely on her wife as she spoke. “We did the same thing to Dodge and Drew!” she exclaimed with a look of panic on her face. “I can’t believe I never thought about it like that before...”

“Honey...babe...Ash...Ashlyn!” Ali finally had to raise her voice to get the keeper’s attention. “Calm down” she shook her head at her. “We’ve made very sure the boys have been around men and have shared bathrooms with them and have been able to ask them questions. Why are you freaking out about this so much?”

It was annoying to the brunette because she had spent a lot of time worrying about this very thing – 7 or 8 years ago. They had talked about it back then too and now she was honestly wondering if Ashlyn had been paying attention at all. The judgmental frown on her face did not go unnoticed by the keeper.

“Yeah, but did we do it enough? Is one week a year up at the NH lake with Dom and Ryan enough? How do we know they don’t have a million questions? Drew’s so shy he’ll never ask us...”

“Ashlyn, you’re making a big deal out of something that isn’t a problem. We’ve talked about this before. A lot. I don’t understand why you’re just now deciding to pay attention” she challenged, frustration clearly noticeable in her voice and on her face. “And it’s more than just during vacation up at the lake. Anytime we’re all together Dom and Ryan are always good about checking in with the boys, especially now that Drew’s getting close to puberty. And Sam’s been great with him too. And he’s always followed Noah and Cash around, Lord knows they’ve all compared every body part there is by now. Don’t you remember the time Niki caught them with the tape measure?” her eyebrows went up high. “What’s going on with you?”

It took a quiet, tense minute before Ashlyn’s shoulders slumped where she still stood at the foot of the bed. Ali could tell she was working her way through something difficult and was doing her best to be patient with her. When those tawny hazel eyes finally met her own again, Ali’s whole demeanor softened. She tilted her head and blinked up at her worried keeper.

“I just never really thought about what we were...denying them I guess” the blonde spoke slowly, choosing her words carefully. “This morning made me rethink some things” she shrugged and sighed heavily, bringing both hands to her face and rubbing it with a grumble.

“Sweetheart, come here...” Ali patted the bed next to her and gave her wife a soft smile.

Ashlyn walked around to Ali’s side of the bed and sat on the edge, letting the brunette hold her hand and her hip as she gave her another tender smile.

“Are you sure we’ve done enough?” she asked timidly, terrified of the answer.

“I am” Ali nodded thoughtfully, rubbing her wife’s hip and squeezing her hand. “I’ve been worried about this since Drew was born. That’s why I’m a little frustrated with this right now” she sighed. “Why did you think I’ve been talking with you about this all along?”

“I know” Ashlyn dropped her eyes. “I get it, and I have been paying attention, but something about how...eager Cristina was this morning to know what another vagina looked like...it just really hit me, you know?”

“It’s sad to think of her growing up without a mother, but babe, it happens all the time. Kids grow up without moms or dads all the time. If they’re lucky they’ve got a good mom or dad left to help them work through the rest of it. Just like our kids have us, two parents who love them very much. Two moms who’ve gone out of our way to make sure that our sons have men in their lives to teach them and show them the things that we don’t know about being a man. And Cristina’s just as lucky because she’s got two dads who are doing the same thing.”

“Well, clearly not enough” Ashlyn frowned. “She’s 9-1/2 Al, she shouldn’t still be wondering what vaginas look like.”

“All kids are different. We know that better than anybody. Meg didn’t ask us about sex until she was what...11? 11-1/2? And Josie asked me about artificial insemination when she was 9-1/2” Ali chuckled. “Plus, we’ve been talking to them about sex and their bodies their whole lives. Dodge was just looking at the body book the other day. And Lily’s probably not gonna have any questions at all with both Meg and Josie around to tell her things.”

Ashlyn looked like she was going to cry, her face was full of anguish at the horrible thought that they might have failed their sons in some way. She bent over to hug Ali and ended up lying in between her legs, with her head in the brunette’s lap, the covers between their bodies. Ali played with her hair, running one hand through it, and rubbed soothing circles into her back with the other. They stayed like that for several minutes, each of them thinking hard about their boys and their boys’ needs.

“Can I ask you a question?” Ali’s voice was nothing but kind and patient.

“Yeah. Did I hit my head? Something like that?” Ashlyn giggled just a bit as she started to accept her wife’s reasoning.

Ali chuckled at the quip and then asked, “How many naked women did you see when you were growing up? How many vaginas...”

“Vanginas” the keeper corrected, emphasizing the extra ‘n’ that all of their kids, including Meg, had inserted into the word for some unknown reason.

“Right” Ali laughed. “How many vanginas did you see as a girl?” Before Ashlyn could reply, the brunette clarified with another laugh, “and I don’t mean your college vangina-fest either.”

“Umm...I don’t know” she tried hard to think of an answer after her own laughter abated. “My mom I guess” she shrugged. “But I don’t really remember it. I saw other girls changing in gym class at school, but I think that’s it. Why?”

“We didn’t learn about sex or our bodies the way kids do nowadays. And we turned out ok.”

“That’s an excellent point” Ashlyn nodded, starting to feel even better about how they were parenting their sons. “How many vanginas did you see when you were little?”

“I saw my mom, but just the same way our kids have seen us. I mean, Deb Deb wasn’t strutting around the house naked or anything” she chuckled.

“Oh God, that’s an image I did not need in my head” Ashlyn groaned and poked her wife in the side. “Thanks for that.”

“Ow, hey” Ali laughed again and smacked Ashlyn’s butt.

“So just your mom then?”

“Other girls at gym, like you” the brunette thought some more. “Oh, and Syd of course.”

“Oh geez, I always forget you guys were those friends” she rolled her eyes and giggled.

“We weren’t friends with benefits if that’s what you’re trying to say” Ali poked her wife, knowing she already knew that Ali and Sydney had shared and shown each other everything when they were girls.

“Thank God” Ashlyn teased and got both hands under her wife at the small of her back, hugging her.

“We did exactly what Cristina and Lily did this morning. We wondered what they looked like so we looked” the brunette shrugged. “It wasn’t a big deal.”

“Ok” Ashlyn exhaled loudly as she suddenly felt tired and a little embarrassed by the big scene she had made. “So I overreacted. I’m sorry. But in my defense...ok, I don’t really have a defense. I just freaked out.”

“It’s ok babe. I’m glad you held it together in front of the girls. And having that kind of surprise in the first place” she chuckled, “it’s a wonder you didn’t freak out right away.”

“Yeah, well, it’s an image I won’t soon forget” she laughed and turned her head to kiss Ali’s stomach. “Thanks for being the best wife in the world honey” she got up on her hands and knees to kiss her wife’s lips. “And thanks for being the best mom too” she gave her another kiss. “Super woman.”

//

Sydney had honored her promise and kept her eye on Lizzy at the Academy. Ashlyn didn’t ask Niki for the same favor because the coach was already going to have her hands full making sure her daughter Penny had a good first experience as a camper at The Academy. Somehow little Penny Cross had turned 9 years old in March that year and nobody could believe it. She attended the first three weeks with her mom and had a great time. She was the best athlete of all three Cross children and both Molly and Niki were secretly thrilled by it. They just weren’t sure what sport the girl was going to fall in love with yet. But whatever she chose, it was clear she was going to be good at it. 

After the crazy 8 kids in the same house week, Kyle and Nathan went home to NYC with Peaches and the kids stayed with Ali and Ashlyn for one more week. Drew and Edgar went to the same sleepaway soccer camp that they’d gone to last year. And Cristina went up to The Academy as a camper for her very first time. Josie and her bestie Kayla were attending both that week and the next week, so Cristina would have at least a couple of friendly faces. And Ali was coaching week 5 and week 8 that summer, so she and the twins were up there as well. 

“How’d she do?” Ashlyn asked Sydney after the first soccer session Monday morning of week 5. Cristina had been in her group of 9-year olds.

“She did good” the coach considered before answering. “She’s timid, but that’s not a surprise if you know her story.”

“And she was cool with you? No issues?”

“She was cool” Sydney nodded. “I didn’t hug her or anything, but she wasn’t too terrified of me to be out there. Progress for sure.”

Ali, Ashlyn, and Kyle had come up with a plan to gently force Cristina to be in Sydney’s sphere of influence again. The two had already successfully been in the same house since the coach had terrified the poor girl at Easter, but they hadn’t been close yet. Kyle thought that his daughter had built up a big enough history of kindness and love with Sydney over the years, that she would be able to overcome the Easter snafu fairly easily. Ali and Sydney both thought he was crazy and were worried about The Academy interaction. They didn’t want Cristina’s fear of Sydney to jeopardize and skew her entire week-long camp experience.

“I’ll be damned” Ashlyn shook her head with a slightly shocked look on her face. “Kyle was absolutely right. Who knew?”

“He knows his kid pretty well, I’ll give him that” Sydney chuckled. 

And as usual, the Krieger family enjoyed their week at the beautiful camp on the lake in Greenfield, NH. Ali loved coaching and wished she could do more of it, like she wanted every summer. Ashlyn was in her glory with the love of her life by her side at the place she and her bestie had dreamed of for so many years. It was like the picture-perfect setting where all of her dreams had come to fruition. The Academy would always be the thing she was most proud of, and that was saying a lot when considering the excellent and important work that the Mental Health Initiative did every single day. But that was part of it, The Academy was for such a short period of time. 8 weeks every summer to show young girls how soccer should be played and what they needed to do to pursue their own dreams of playing college and professional soccer. There was magic in that. Soccer was part of Ashlyn’s soul and it always would be. Being able to help girls get better at it with so many of her favorite people was just too good to be true.

//

Week 5 finished up, successfully, and Edgar and Cristina were put on the train from Boston to NYC. Ashlyn drove them in and stole a quick moment as she was hugging them both goodbye on the platform.

“Remember, you come and ask me any questions, any time, about anything. Sometimes us girls have to stick together” she chuckled. “I’ll always be honest with you and you’ll never be in trouble. Questions are never bad Cris. Remember that, ok?”

“Thanks Auntie Ash” the girl hugged the keeper harder than she had the first time. 

Ashlyn could feel the appreciation in the hug. Gratitude and relief flowed directly from Cristina’s heart, through her arms and into the blonde’s body.

“I love you honey. No matter what and forever. Don’t forget that either.”

“Love you too.”

Weeks 6 & 7 raced by with more summer camps for the kids and then they were all back up at The Academy for the final week 8. Even Meg was finally back up North after her summer Internship down in DC with the Washington Spirit. Niki Cross, now the top assistant coach for the BC women’s soccer team, continued to bring the team up to the final week of The Academy as part of their preseason training. The first game of the preseason was Friday afternoon, August 15th, the very next day after The Academy’s closing session. Because of everybody’s travel schedule, it was the first week all summer long that all 5 kids and both moms had been in the same place at the same time. The kids, and the moms, were excited to see miss Meg who regaled them all with stories from the pro soccer players in the NWSL that she admired so much. Her enthusiasm for soccer was contagious and both Lily and Josie decided, however briefly, that they were going to become pro soccer players when they grew up too. Ali and Ashlyn were convinced that Meg could get the other kids to do absolutely anything in the world, even Drew who had been extra moody for the past couple of weeks. He was lighthearted and happy every time Meg spent any time with him that week. 

// 

Ali’s 47th birthday was the Monday of week 6 and it happened to fall on one of the nights during Academy weeks when Ashlyn was home. The keeper would have changed her schedule if it hadn’t, but it was nice for everyone that she didn’t have to. The kids were used to her being away two nights a week during her Academy summer weeks, but it was always better if they stuck to a routine as much as possible. Plus, when the away nights were spaced out, Ali didn’t have to do two solo nights in a row. As the kids got bigger the solo nights got easier, for the most part. But there were new challenges that presented themselves at the same time.

“You look gorgeous honey.”

Ali loved hearing the reverence in her wife’s voice as she got her first look at the brunette in her pretty summer dress that evening. She twirled slowly for her keeper, letting Ashlyn get a good look at the way the above the knee length dress hugged her in all the right places. It was a vibrant teal color that showed off Ali’s tanned skin with straps over her shoulders and then separate short sleeves that left her actual shoulders exposed. She knew her keeper liked to see her sexy shoulders and collar bone whenever possible and was happy to oblige. Her shoulder length hair was down but the brunette had curled it and added more make-up than she usually did for her birthday dinner date. She wore dressy sandals with a short heel that made her feel fancy but didn’t kill her feet. She was hoping for some dancing later in the night and wanted to be prepared.

“Thanks, sugar” she winked and then giggled as Ashlyn grinned at the playful nickname. The lost Southern belle had become part of their sporadic ventures into role-playing and they both loved it. “I’m ready to go, are your mom and Carol all set?”

Josie was up at the Academy for week 6, her second in a row, and Drew was having dinner at Ethan’s house. The twins were down in the basement playing Guitar Hero after their first day of music camp had inspired them to be rock stars, again.

“Yeah, we’re all set” Ashlyn met her wife at the foot of their bed and gave her cheek the softest kiss, drinking in the scent of so many things that were uniquely Ali Krieger from her shampoo to her moisturizer to her make-up and finally to her light perfume. It was the keeper’s favorite and Ali only wore perfume occasionally. “Thanks for wearing my perfume” she said sweetly into Ali’s ear, her lips grazing the edge and making the brunette tingle.

“Thanks for taking me out for my birthday.”

“Let’s go...”

Ashlyn hadn’t told her wife where they were going, just that she might feel underdressed in one of her typical, but lovely, sundresses. Ali had been intrigued and excited ever since, and it had been a long few days of anticipation. It was obvious pretty quickly that they were headed into Boston and that wasn’t too surprising. There were some excellent restaurants up on the North Shore but Boston and Cambridge were still where the best dinner and dancing and shows were. Ali was moderately surprised when they turned onto Evans Way and found a parking spot in front of the Gardner Museum. They hadn’t been in to visit her favorite place in a while and she was always pleased to be in that beautiful space. But it was 7:00pm and she was hungry and regretting not eating a snack before they left the house. If they were going to tour the museum before dinner then Ashlyn might have to carry her once she fainted from hunger.

“Trust me” the keeper grinned as she opened the passenger door of a sporty little Suburu she had borrowed for the night. Nothing kid-friendly about it.

Ali returned the grin, relieved even though she still wasn’t sure what her wife had up her sleeve. The brunette let her eyes rake up and down the gorgeous blonde in front of her as she took her hand and climbed out of the car.

Ashlyn wore a lightweight summer suit of poplin but she combined the muted salmon color jacket with white pants so the pink wasn’t too overwhelming. Her current-favorite silver rope chain necklace hung just below the base of her neck, right at the collar of her smart, white, fancy t-shirt. It wasn’t too long and it wasn’t too thick, and it played nicely off of the rest of her jewelry that evening. Her classic slip-on Vans, black and white checkered, completed her look which made Ali swoon as she got to her feet. The only thing sexier than Ashlyn’s outfit was her hair and the brunette fought the impulse to grab her by two handfuls of it and pull her into a steamy kiss right there on the street. The keeper’s locks weren’t nearly as short as they had been in previous years. She had grown her hair out to a shaggy but still short style, using different hair products to make it really shaggy or slicked back into a more stylized, coiffed look. Tonight she had stuck with casual shaggy because her birthday girl wife had admitted once that it was her favorite look – it reminded her of Ashlyn at the beach or, better yet, in bed.

Ali placed her palm on her wife’s chest, just below her necklace, and patted it lightly as she steadied herself on her feet. 

“You look so hot, babe” she bit her bottom lip, flirting with her keeper as they walked across the street towards the entrance to the museum. 

They moved through the modern part of the museum entrance area, wasting no time but not rushing either. Ashlyn offered her elbow to her wife and Ali took it, happily holding on and leaning close as they walked through the glass-enclosed walkway towards the mansion.

“Thank you Isabella” she whispered, as always, as they passed through the doorway into her own version of paradise.

The courtyard was beautiful and both women inhaled deeply, without even being conscious of it. It’s just what you did when you stepped into that lush, fragrant space. There were only a few other visitors there because it was a lovely summer evening and most people were enjoying outdoor activities in other areas of the city. Ashlyn leaned over and kissed Ali’s cheek as they stood at the far end of the courtyard and took in the whole view of it, fountains and statues and beautiful flowers and greenery. They looked up to the top of the glass-covered atrium, letting their eyes enjoy the four stories of open-arch windows on all four sides of the courtyard. It was impossible to feel anything other than joy and peace and happiness in that spot, at least it was impossible for Ali and Ashlyn anyway. If they had to pick a happy place, just one place that was magical for both of them, they would be hard-pressed to choose between their big rock at Good Harbor beach and the Gardner museum.

They stood there for several minutes, drinking in the atmosphere and smiling like fools in the comfortable quiet that surrounded them. All they could hear was the occasional sound of another visitor and the calming babbling of the fountain.

“Oh this place is so magical” Ali took another deep breath, closed her eyes for a second and leaned against Ashlyn’s body. “I don’t even feel starved any more” she chuckled. 

“Well that’s too bad” the keeper put her arm around her wife’s waist and gave her a side hug, kissing her temple at the same time. “I thought we could have dinner here tonight” she suggested with a growing smile.

“The Café closed at 7pm” Ali frowned and pulled Ashlyn’s other wrist over to look at the time on the watch there. “Aw, we just missed it” she slumped her shoulders and whined just a bit.

“That’s ok” the keeper couldn’t hide her grin anymore and her dimple emerged despite her best efforts to keep it hidden for another few minutes. “I have something else planned” she turned her wife to their left and guided her, still with her arm around her waist, towards the Spanish Cloister.

“What?” Ali saw the grin on her wife’s face and matched it although hers was full of confusion too. “Of course we’re not leaving without stopping in here” she playfully chastised Ashlyn as they stepped down into the Spanish Cloister which housed her favorite painting in the entire world – ‘El Jaleo’ by John Singer Sargent.

As they turned to their right to look at the enormous painting at the end of the cloister, Ali gasped in surprise. There were velvet ropes cordoning off the cloister’s other entrances and the brunette hadn’t even noticed the two attendants just inside the entrance they had used themselves. In the middle of the long narrow space was a dining table beautifully set for two with candles in the center. 

“Oh Ashlyn...what did you do?” she murmured as she tried to take in the scene. It was hard to concentrate with her heart pounding the way it was.

“Happy Birthday baby” the keeper kissed her cheek again and helped her into one of the two chairs at the table. 

As she stood up to go to the other side and her own chair, Ali grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back, kissing her soundly on the mouth.

“I love you” she mumbled against Ashlyn’s lips and kissed her again, this one much more chaste.

They sat together, alternating staring across the table at each other and then turning to their side to admire the magnificent painting that they both loved so much. The food was good but it wasn’t outstanding, but neither of them cared. They could have eaten beans from a can and still loved it just because of where they were. Ashlyn had been trying to plan a dinner for her wife in her favorite place for years but it never worked out for one reason or another. Finally, without any NWSL obligations other than supporting her Boston Breakers team, she had been able to arrange it. She had been fortunate that Ali’s birthday fell on a Monday because the museum hosted other events most other nights of the week. And it only stayed open later in the summer so that had also been a challenge. Regardless, the fates had finally aligned and Ashlyn’s birthday dinner surprise had been a homerun, and then some. They had to be out by 9pm when the museum closed and they found themselves the object of some curious stares from the adjacent courtyard. One of the attendants played subtle bodyguard and tried to move the occasional stranger along. The other waited on them hand and foot and was ready with the portable speaker at the very end of the meal. That was the one rule that cramped Ashlyn’s style – no music allowed. But she had tipped the attendants well and begged them to give her a song at the very end of their time.

“Will you dance with me, my love?” the keeper asked as she got up and extended her hand.

“I’d love to, but there’s no music” Ali replied with an adorable tilt of her head and batt of her eyes. 

She found herself accepting her wife’s hand and spinning once under their raised arms anyway. She giggled as Ashlyn pulled her in close and then almost cried when she heard the soft music coming from the back of the cloister, near where they had entered over an hour ago.

“Oh Ashlyn...” her eyes brimmed with tears as she fought them off, lifting her eyes up and tilting her head back to keep them at bay.

Picking one song to dance to with her beautiful brunette hadn’t been easy. At all. There were so many songs that had incredible meaning for the couple. She narrowed it down to 6 different ones and got stuck. After almost a full week of debate and a few conversations with Sydney and Whitney and Kyle, Ashlyn had finally settled on their song, ‘At Last’. It was still the song that fit them to a T. It would always be their song and Ashlyn had come to love it as much as Ali always had. It felt too easy though, choosing that one. It felt like a gimme and the keeper was going for a wow instead. But, judging by Ali’s reaction, she had chosen well. Etta James could never let them down.

“I know I said that I wanted to be remembered in your arms, underneath a waterfall” Ashlyn spoke emotionally to her wife as they moved together to the music. “But this is better. Dancing with you in my arms, to this beautiful song, on my favorite day of the whole year, in this amazing place...this is so much better.”


	28. Peeping at the Beach

The four families kept doing their best to spend one week together up at the NH lake house, but it was getting more and more difficult every summer. On the one hand, it was more fun because the kids were older and more capable of doing things without as much assistance. But on the other hand, they got into different kinds of trouble instead.

The kids ages that August were:  
Noah Cross 15.8  
Evan Cross 11.4  
Penny Cross 9.5  
Cassius Dwyer 13.11  
James Dwyer 9.9  
Maddox Dwyer 7.5  
Drew Krieger 12.3  
Josie Krieger 10.2  
Dodge Krieger 8.3  
Lily Krieger 8.3  
Becca Flanagan 6.6  
Tommy Flanagan 4.2

Meg was 19-1/2 but unable to join them because, just like Niki Cross who was also unable to join them, she was deep in preseason training with Boston College. Ryan Flanagan was out again, coaching his Boston Cannons team into the playoffs. And both Noah Cross and Cassius Dwyer were missing the vacation too. Sydney’s mom was babysitting for the week and taking her eldest grandson to his soccer camp. 

The kids continued to get along like siblings, fighting and laughing in equal measure. There was always somebody willing to join you in whatever you wanted to do, and that was a pretty great feeling if you were a kid. Dodge and Maddox had turned into the destructo-twins and if it hadn’t been so unnerving sometimes, it would have been hysterical. They were the crazy ones who were climbing trees just to jump out of them. They tried every kind of jumping dive and flip off the pontoon boat that they could think of. They fed off of each other and egged each other on, all day every day. They weren’t competitive against each other though, which was unusual among the group of four-family children. They were partners, competing together against whatever challenge they had concocted. James and Josie were the same way with each other, true pals who enjoyed being together, no matter what they were doing. Lily often tagged along with Dodge and Maddox, laughing at or with them until she got bored. Then she would go find Penny Cross or Josie, or, if she wanted to feel like the big kid in the relationship, young Becca Flanagan. 

Becca looked up to Lily and loved nothing better than hanging out with the silly, quirky blonde. Lily was often the only older kid who would play with Becca without completely bossing her around. Both Josie and Penny tried to bend the younger girls, both Lily and Becca, to their will with mixed results. Drew and Evan Cross had been stuck together for years as not quite old enough to tag along with Noah Cross and Cassius Dwyer. Drew and Evan were fairly close in personality, they were definitely softer and less rambunctious than Noah and Cash were, but they weren’t best friends. Drew thought Evan was a wimp – and that was saying something coming from the cautious, shy Krieger boy. All in all, they were good kids who got along pretty well and shared many interests, soccer being foremost among them. 

The other thing they almost all universally loved was the water. Niki and Ryan were two of the biggest water-lovers of them all and everybody missed them a lot that week. They, along with Ashlyn, were the grown-ups who never ever said no to anybody who asked for another ride or splash or game or toss that had anything to do with the lake. Dom, Ali, and Molly had to step up and take over some of the responsibilities that Niki and Ryan usually bore over the years – like being in charge, with Ashlyn of course, of the pontoon boat rental and the motor boat borrowing that Molly arranged every trip with one of her family’s friends on the lake. Dom, Ali, and Molly had all gotten their boating licenses over the past couple of years – once it was clear that Niki’s college coaching schedule was going to become a problem for their group vacation. Dom got his first and then the two women took the course together before last summer’s vacation. Molly had grown up on the water with her active extended family and knew how to operate a boat. But she had never bothered to make time to get her license. It was the same with Ali, only to a slightly lesser degree. The pontoon boat was a cakewalk but the motor boat could be challenging depending on what the situation was on the lake. But if they were going to enjoy tubing, wakeboarding, and water-skiing then they needed somebody to handle the motor boat. 

Sydney and Whitney were perfectly capable of doing it too, but neither woman was particularly interested in taking on that responsibility. Whitney knew the boating rules by heart anyway but just didn’t want to make time to get her license. She was busy with her two young kids and her job and her husband and her foundation. Sydney just said no thank you. She would ride along or she would stay back at the house and sun herself in peace and quiet instead. She did not know the boating rules and that was just fine with her. It was a big and busy lake area and she didn’t want to have to worry about what all the other idiots out there were doing. She made sure everybody had a beverage and that all the kids stayed inside the boat. That was her job and it was an important one.

There were several different ways to enjoy Squam Lake and the four families had tried and loved each and every one of them over the years. Spending the entire day drifting along on the pontoon boat, eating sandwiches and snacks from the cooler, dozing, drinking, jumping in for a swim to cool off, or paddling around in the one or two-person kayak. They had spent many days like that, teaching the kids how to snorkel off the side of the pontoon boat and other fun things. Another way to spend a day on the lake was to go to certain points of interest around the lake, like any of the 30 named islands in the lake. And that didn’t include the other unnamed ones. One of their favorite islands to tie up at had a big huge rock that hung out over the water and was the best place to jump and dive from, if you weren’t afraid. It was an annual rite of passage to see which kids were ready to take the leap and which weren’t. There wasn’t much better than seeing their ebullient face re-emerge from the water after their very first successful jump. Some of the best pictures in the vacation photo album were taken at the big jumping rock. And some of the biggest bruises had come from there too. 

Some of the islands had facilities on them, like restrooms and small clam shacks or hot dog stands where you could refuel your engine and empty your bladder. There was an island that hosted a big church, complete with an outdoor service area with weathered benches where the pastor or preacher would deliver the word of God on Sunday mornings if the weather was nice. That one was cleverly called Church Island. There was also a restroom there, and every savvy lake lover knew which locations had bathrooms they could use. It was the first thing you learned, especially if you had kids with you.

Another popular island had a really nice, sandy beach that was usually quite busy all summer long. There was enough current there to keep any gross algae or other lake-specific yucky stuff away from the beach. It certainly wasn’t like being on an ocean beach, but it was pretty nice for a lake beach. It also had a concession stand area up at the top of the beach with picnic tables and vending machines for after-hours visits. There wasn’t an actual bathroom with running water, but there was an outhouse that got pumped and drained at the end of every summer. It had been built decades ago and nobody saw any real need to improve upon it. They maintained it and repaired it as necessary but that was about it. It was a good-sized wood structure and there was a women’s half and a men’s half with a thin plywood wall between the two sections. It was basic with four ‘toilets’ in each half, that consisted of a closed-in bench at the back of the structure with toilet seats screwed down over four holes in the top of it. There were no stalls or walls or dividers between the holes in each half, and everything was painted white on the inside and the outside. It was just a super-wide outhouse, maybe 10’ wide by 6’ deep for each half. By the time mid-August rolled around, they were pretty stinky and the white paint – applied fresh every April or May, had weathered and faded and chipped. As the summer season wore on, the toilet paper, rolls stacked up along the back wall behind the toilet seats, would eventually run out too. It wasn’t pretty but it did the trick. 

Men and women came and went from the door at the front of each appropriate half of the structure all day long. It could be awkward at times if you weren’t expecting it. The men didn’t blink an eye because they were used to using urinals and communal trough type toilets at big stadiums. But for women who were used to having the privacy of their very own stall, it could be a real shock. It was kind of like an elevator – you didn’t make conversation or eye contact. You kept your head down, did what you needed to do, and got out. In addition to the four women using the four ‘toilets’, there were two or three women standing just inside the door waiting their turn. You didn’t have to worry about making too much sound with your pee because it was a noisy place. The doors were constantly banging because they were hinged with strong springs so nobody got caught with their pants down and an open door. There were shuffling feet and the abrasive sound of sand on wood muffled many of the other bathroom noises. If you used the ‘toilet’ next to the dividing wall you could hear the voices from the men’s half as they talked about the big game the night before or the horsepower of the boat that just blew by everybody on the lake. The men’s half was always louder and usually full of brief snippets of conversation. The most the women ever said to each other was ‘can you toss me some toilet paper?’.

The entire four-family group that summer, 6 adults and 10 children - all under the age of 12-1/2, decided to spend the day at the island with the concession stand, nice sandy beach, and communal outhouse. They piled onto the pontoon boat, packed with provisions for the whole day, and Ashlyn guided them to the dock where Molly and Dom tied the boat up. It was a hot, sunny day and they had all been swimming and building sand castles and relaxing in the sun for hours. The beach was big and wide open and you could see your children from at least 60’ or 70’ away, depending on how good your eyesight was and how bright their bathing suit or floaties were. The concession stand was 100’ up behind the beach and the outhouse structure was about 50’ behind the beach and off to the side. When the four families spent time at this beach, the kids were allowed to go to the bathroom by themselves. The only exceptions were Becca and Tommy Flanagan who were still just a bit too young. None of the grown-ups loved the outhouse scenario. There had never been any reason to suspect anything, but even the far-fetched notion that some creepy person could be in the communal bathroom with your young son or daughter made them all uncomfortable. Part of what made the big outhouse work though, was the fact that it was a stinky outhouse where nobody really wanted to linger any longer than necessary. And both halves were so busy that there was rarely a time when only one or two people would be alone in either half. That only happened after hours when most people weren’t spending time at the beach.

Josie wasn’t a huge beach-goer. She loved the water and she loved to swim but sitting on the beach, roasting in the sun, was never her thing. 

“Mama, can we go for a walk?” the redhead asked in the middle of the afternoon. 

Josie turned and looked up towards the concession stand where some shade was finally starting to fall on the sand as the sun made its way across the sky. Ashlyn pulled her sunglasses down far enough so she could see her daughter and Penny Cross standing in front of her and then looked over her shoulder at the rest of the beach behind them. She looked at Molly who just shrugged back at her.

“Yep. But stay where we can see you. Stay on the sand” she clarified. “And if we call you, you come right back. Understood?”

“Yup!”  
“Ah-huh!”  
Both kids said as they trotted off together.

About an hour later, Lily tugged on her mother’s arm.

“I have to pee Mommmmyyy...” she said dramatically, and then giggled.

“Me too!” Becca added with her own adorable giggle, even though she didn’t know what she was laughing about.

Normally Ali would have just told Lily to go to the bathroom by herself. She had done it last year and earlier in the week when they had stopped at this beach for the afternoon. But with Becca needing to go too, she decided to take them both.

“Syd! Sydney!” she got her best friend’s attention who was also down knee-deep in the lake splashing around with most of the kids. “I’m gonna take them to pee” she nodded over her shoulder towards the outhouse. “I’ll send someone down to help.”

As she walked towards their beach towels and umbrella, each girl holding one of her hands and making her heart melt, the brunette quickly scanned the beach.

“Where’s Josie?”

“Ummm...” Ashlyn sat up and did her own scan, frowning when she didn’t immediately see the redhead or Penny.

“They were just there” Molly shaded her eyes and looked towards the side of the beach area, near the outhouse structure. “I just saw them.”

“They’re probably in the bathroom” Ashlyn said, but kept her eyes moving across the sand anyway.

“I’m taking these guys to pee, I’ll check it out” Ali replied. “Will one of you go help Syd until I get back?”

As she walked up the beach she passed a couple of older guys who were chuckling and a few women who were either laughing or frowning. One older woman had a scowl on her face and seemed unduly offended. Ali’s curiosity was piqued but she was more concerned about making sure Josie and Penny weren’t actually missing. As they stood in line for the bathroom, which wrapped around the outside of the structure for about 15’, two teenage girls came out giggling.

“That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen” one grinned.

“I wish I’d thought to do that when I was their age” the other laughed.

When Ali got about 4 people away from the entrance another woman came out grinning. The woman in front of Ali knew her and spoke to her.

“What’s so funny in there? Everybody’s coming out laughing.”

“Oh hey Steph” the grinning woman chuckled. “There are two girls in there peeping through the divided wall and giggling up a storm. It’s adorable.”

“Oh how cute” the other woman replied.

Ali chuckled to herself at the idea. She’d used that outhouse a bunch of times and she’d never seen a hole or any other way to peep through the dividing wall. She frowned and wondered if some disgusting guys had been spying on the women’s room all along and nobody realized it. As she let that disturbing thought rattle around in her head, they moved forward and were next in line. Her mind jumped back to wondering why they hadn’t seen Josie and Penny come out of the bathroom yet, if that’s indeed where they were. Maybe Penny had a stomach ache and was having a hard time in the bathroom and Josie had kept her company? For some reason that none of the grown-ups could understand, the girls of the four families often went to the bathroom together. Not just here at the communal outhouse. Ashlyn had asked Josie about it once, years ago when it started, and the little redhead explained that they could keep playing if they went in to the bathroom together. It made sense. None of the grown-ups discouraged it, but they didn’t encourage it either. The girls had started it when they were still fuzzy on the privacy concept and had just never really shaken the habit. They didn’t do it all the time, not even close. But sometimes if one of them had to go to the bathroom, whether it was peeing or pooping, the other one would keep her company. Sometimes all three girls went together, Josie, Penny and Lily, if they were playing together.

The slamming of the spring-loaded door right in front of her snapped the brunette out of her thoughts. She let go of Lily’s hand and pulled the door open, letting the girls walk in first, urging them to step to the side so other people could get out. She pushed her sunglasses up on top of her head and let her eyes adjust to the darker interior of the stinky space. Just as she was getting her sight back and leading Becca towards the open ‘toilet’, third from the dividing wall, she heard a familiar giggle coming from the side of the bathroom near the divider. She helped Becca with her cute little bathing suit bottoms, silently thanking Whitney for not putting her in a one-piece, and held onto her as she sat her on the toilet seat so she wouldn’t fall in. The brunette was fairly certain that Becca wouldn’t actually fit through the hole but she wasn’t about to take any chances. The grown women who used that bathroom just reached down and held their bathing suit aside if they were wearing a one-piece. That way they didn’t have to strip naked to use the ‘toilet’, but the younger girls couldn’t always figure that out. As soon as she could look away from Becca, Ali turned her head and almost died of shock and embarrassment. There was Josie, sitting on the edge of the toilet seat next to the dividing wall, her face pressed up against it and another giggle coming from her throat.

“Does your mom or dad know you’re in here doing this?” the woman on the ‘toilet’ between Josie’s and Becca’s asked the question that every woman who had passed through there in the last half hour had wondered as well.

Penny turned to look at the stranger from her place standing next to Josie, waiting for another turn to take a peep, but didn’t say anything.

“She does now” Ali answered the woman’s question in a voice that was mostly stern but with some exasperation and just the tiniest hint of amusement tossed in. “What are you doing girls? We’ve been looking for you.”

Both Penny and Josie whipped their heads around and their faces turned beet red. They slunk over to the front corner of the bathroom and stood with their backs to the dividing wall, waiting for whatever happened next. Before Ali could think of what to say to them, Lily hopped over to the ‘toilet’ Josie had been occupying and stripped out of her one-piece bathing suit so she could pee. Becca announced that she was done and in the hubbub that ensued, Penny and Josie ran out of the bathroom, trailing nervous laughter behind them. 

“I’m sorry everybody” Ali apologized to the five other women in the room as she helped Becca off the ‘toilet’.

“Oh don’t be too hard on them” one woman chuckled. “They probably couldn’t see anything anyway.”

“No harm in being curious” the woman between Becca and now Lily added as she leaned forward to wipe herself. “I’m sure it was just good fun.”

“Ewww...” Lily stretched the word out loudly as she pressed her own eye to the hole in the dividing wall next to her. “That penis is disgusting!” she practically yelled.

“Lily! That’s enough!” Ali choked out, trying to decide whether to laugh or cry.

The rest of the women in the room all laughed out loud at Lily’s outburst and Ali found herself joining them.

“I wanna see. Can I see too?” Becca trotted over to the dividing wall to wait her turn.

“No, come on girls” Ali shook her head and felt her face flush. “Lily, finish what you’re doing and put your suit back on, let’s go.”

It took a couple of minutes for Lily to wipe herself and climb back into her damp bathing suit. As Ali helped her pull the straps up, detangling her long blonde hair from underneath them, she saw Becca slide over and take a look through the hole.

“Daddy’s is bigger” she said, matter-of-factly, and made the entire room crack up again.

“Great parenting, Congrats” the newest woman into the room commented with a roll of her judgmental eyes as she waited her turn.

They had almost made it out of there without too much of a scene. Ali had pushed both Becca and Lily forward through the door and was about to make her own exit when she heard the newcomer’s snarky remark. The brunette was already embarrassed and out of sorts, even though the other women had been sympathetic to her plight. Something about the condescending tone of this new voice really pissed her off.

“Oh, yeah, thanks” Ali put on her brightest, fakest smile for the woman. “I’m so proud. This is exactly what I’ve been hoping for, all their lives. Banner fucking day for me and my entire family. Thanks again for all your support.”

The room erupted in laughter again with two different women cheering on Ali’s snarky, sarcastic rebuttal. Ali took ten more seconds and moved back to the dividing wall before one of the laughing women could use the ‘toilet’ there. The brunette leaned over and peered through the dime-sized hole, getting an eyeful of the hairy dick that was urinating on the other side. Sure enough, she had a perfect view of all four penises as they stood and aimed over their ‘toilets’. The fourth one, she realized with a quiet gasp, was attached to Evan Cross. She stood up quickly and left the bathroom, getting a pat on the back on her way out from one of her cheerleaders.

Ali couldn’t decide how she wanted to handle the incident with the girls. She honestly didn’t think it was the end of the world or anything, but she had to make sure all four girls understood that violating someone’s privacy was never ok. She spotted Josie and Penny back under the umbrella and jogged to catch up with Lily and Becca who were walking back fast through the hot sand.

“Told you they were in the bathroom” Ashlyn winked up at her wife when Ali and the two younger girls returned.

Ali set her jaw but the keeper couldn’t understand what was happening because there was nothing but amusement in her wife’s eyes. Neither Josie nor Penny looked at the brunette as they sucked on their juice boxes guiltily.

“What’s going on Al?” Molly asked, drying herself off as the group from the water came up to take a snack break. “Everything ok?”

“Hey, I don’t mean to interrupt” a woman Ali thought she recognized from the bathroom stopped next to the brunette. “I just want to say thanks, that’s all.”

“For what?” Ali asked, confused.

“For standing up to that...” the woman saw all the children and rethought her word choice, “not nice lady in the bathroom” she grinned. “We’ve all had those days with our kids and I think you handled it great. Good luck” she glanced down at the girls and chuckled as she smiled at Ali again. “And thanks again.”

“Ok, somebody needs to tell me what I missed” Sydney’s eyes were wide as she watched the stranger walk away. “Alibaba?”

“Just tell me if we need to get out of here” Ashlyn gave her wife a serious look. “We can go now if we have to...”

“God, no. I mean, I hope not” Ali made an eek face, wondering what would happen if that bitch from the bathroom filed some sort of complaint.

“You guys!” Evan laughed breathlessly as he jumped to a stop in front of his mom. “I just heard this story and I don’t know if I should believe it or not” he took another big breath, big grin on his face. “But I guess there were some girls who were watching the guys pee!” he laughed again and clapped his hands together.

“Where did you hear that?” Molly frowned at her son, doubting the veracity of the wild story.

Meanwhile Sydney studied her best friend’s face as Ali chewed on her bottom lip, deep in thought.

“Some guy in the bathroom with me said he could hear them” Evan explained through more laughter. “And then, I was just up at the concession stand and some lady was asking to talk to the manager about it. Oh man, it’s too funny.”

“Do we need to leave Als?” Sydney cocked her eyebrow at the brunette.

“Yeah, you know, let’s just go now. Is that ok?” Ali started shoving things into the big beach bag near her feet.

When they returned to the lake house later that afternoon the grown-ups got everybody settled and unpacked. Dom took the 5 boys, everybody but Tommy, out to the yard and played some 3v3 while the girls stayed inside with Ali, Molly, Ashlyn, Sydney, and Whitney to talk about what had happened at the beach. Ali had given the other moms the rundown of what had happened as Dom steered the pontoon boat back to the house. Sydney was put in charge of Tommy while the other four moms spoke to their daughters.

“Ok girls, we want to talk to you about what you were doing in the bathroom at the beach” Ashlyn started, eyeing the four girls as they sat side by side on one of the big couches in the living room of the rented house at the lake. “First of all, Josie and Penny” she looked at the two oldest girls and frowned, “you were supposed to stay where we could see you. Did you do that?”

“No” Penny shook her head and looked down.

“We had to pee though” Josie offered as a pretty reasonable excuse.

“Well then you should have come and told us that’s what you were going to do” the keeper continued. “If you can’t follow the rules then we’re not going to be able to let you go off by yourself like that. It’s just that simple” Ashlyn shrugged and kept her face calm and still.

“Sorry Mama” Josie looked sincerely from Ashlyn to Ali.

“Yeah, sorry” Penny blinked at Molly. The poor thing looked like she was about to cry.

“Who wants to tell us what else you were doing in the bathroom?” Molly nodded encouragingly at her daughter.

Both Penny and Josie were quiet for a minute before Lily spoke up. She sounded a little nervous and laughed anxiously at the end of her sentence.

“They were looking through the wall into the boys’ bathroom!”

“Shut up Lily” Josie glared at her younger sister.

“Do not talk to your sister that way” Ashlyn corrected her with her own stern look.

“Whose idea was it to look into the boys’ bathroom?” Ali asked, hoping to move things along and put the whole incident behind them. When there was another pause she pushed a little. “Was it your idea Penny?”

“No” she shook her head vigorously from side to side. “Josie found the hole.”

“James told me about it” the redhead sighed, realizing there was no point in staying quiet any longer. “He said there was a hole in the wall and I didn’t believe him. So we went to look.”

“And how did James know about this hole?” Sydney cocked her head, surprised to be involved after all. She looked expectantly at Josie who spilled her guts to her godmother, as usual. 

“He said that Mad and Dodge told him about it” the redhead twisted her hands in her lap as she spoke. 

Ashlyn rubbed her forehead and sighed heavily as she listened.

“Alright, well, the problem with what you did in the bathroom is that you looked through the hole” Ali moved the discussion forward again. “You know that, right?”

Both girls nodded.

“Lily?” Ashlyn gave her daughter a look.

“Becca?” Whitney did the same. “Do you know that looking through that hole into the boys’ bathroom was wrong?”

“Ah-huh” the adorable 6-1/2 year old nodded, as did Lily sitting next to her.

“And why is it wrong to do that?” Molly posed the big question this time. “Can you tell us Penny?”

“Ummm...” she stammered and looked down again.

“Because the bathroom is private and we should have not looked in it” Josie answered quietly.

“That’s right” Ali nodded. “How would you feel if somebody was watching you go to the bathroom through that hole?”

“Yucky” Lily answered this time and the three other girls agreed.

“But that bathroom’s not really private” Josie challenged. 

All four women knew the redhead wasn’t trying to be difficult. They all knew what that looked like and this wasn’t it. Josie was just trying to understand.

“That is a funny bathroom set-up isn’t it?” Molly leaned forward and gave the girls a warm smile. “It’s not private inside the girls’ room or inside the boys’ room, but we’re still supposed to stay on our side. Just like the boys are supposed to stay on their side.”

“There’s a dividing wall there for a reason” Whitney chimed in. “And nobody should be looking through a hole one way or the other.”

“I only looked cuz they did” Lily shrugged and then laughed anxiously.

“Yeah, me too” Becca concurred, nodding her head up and down several times to accentuate her point.

It was hard for the moms not to laugh at how cute little Becca was. She wasn’t sure what was going on but she was trying so hard to participate.

“You still shouldn’t have looked” Ali fixed both younger girls with a frown. If they only knew that she herself had looked, they’d be bullshit. “And I should have stopped you” she admitted. “I messed up too.”

“Ok, so we all understand about respecting other people’s privacy, yes?” Molly brought them over the finish line.

After a round of nods and quiet but relieved yeses, Ashlyn tried to wrap the whole thing up, once and for all.

“So any questions? Or can we put this little incident behind us?”

“Are we gonna be punished?” Josie’s voice was small and sad.

“Yes” Ali cleared her throat before explaining the punishment that all of the moms had agreed to before starting the conversation. “You have a choice, you can either lose your dessert tonight, or you can sweep the bedrooms and empty the trash from the bathrooms.”

“I’d just like to point out that if you all choose to sweep and empty it’ll be a lot faster and easier. But it’s your choice” Ashlyn explained as they watched the girls whisper among themselves and try to come to some sort of decision.

“We’ll do the cleaning” Josie spoke for the group. “The sweeping and the trash.”

“Ok good” Molly smiled again. “You can go get that taken care of now, before we get dinner going. Unless there are more questions.”

Nobody expected any more questions and Ashlyn even stood up from the armchair she had been sitting in.

“Is that really what penises look like, in person?” Penny squeaked out, her face pink and embarrassed.

All the moms hesitated, eyes darting quickly from one woman to another to another.

“I’m not sure what you saw honey” Molly tried her best to answer her daughter’s question. “But from what I understand you were looking at actual penises in person. So, yes.”

“Daddy’s is bigger” Becca repeated the line that had gotten her such a big laugh from the ladies in the bathroom at the beach.

Sydney cackled and struggled to cover her mouth and turn her head to keep from rewarding Becca’s behavior. Whitney had to fight the urge to correct her daughter. Technically, she was simply stating a fact. From her perspective and with the limited information she had to go on, her father’s penis was bigger than the one she had glimpsed for 10 seconds through the hole. Instead, the lawyer summoned all the willpower she had and spoke to all four girls.

“Penises come in all different sizes” she blushed and fussed with Tommy’s beach hat that was still in her lap. “They’re usually the same shape but they all look a little different.”

“How big can they get?” Josie asked, her eyes wide as she imagined penises even bigger than the ones she had seen that afternoon. From her point of view, most of the penises she was used to seeing were the small immature ones of her brothers and cousins and four-family friends.

Ali and Ashlyn exchanged an amused look and seemed to be trying to figure out which one of them was going to try to tackle the question. But while they stalled, Sydney spoke up.

“With three boys and a husband, I think that makes me the penis expert in this group” she chuckled and winked.

The coach went on to give a surprisingly tame and instructive, without being too graphic, talk about penises and what they did and didn’t do. The girls asked some more questions, mostly Josie and Penny, and after about 20 minutes they were ready to move on with the rest of their lives.

Later that night, after all the kids were in bed and hopefully asleep, the grown-ups gathered around the big round table at the back of the kitchen to drink and play cards and talk. Before too long, the whole peeping bathroom story came up again and they were all cracking up about Ali’s vivid re-telling of events. 

“I can’t believe you had all four girls in there while the peeping was going on!” Sydney laughed out loud and slapped her thigh.

“And peeing!” Ashlyn added through her own howling laughter. “The fact that you were in that bathroom in the first place still blows my mind” she laughed at her wife and leaned into Whitney who was sitting next to her. “The most private bathroom person I’ve ever known...” she cackled. “Did your skin break out in hives? Did you start to hyperventilate?” she teased mercilessly while everybody, including Ali, laughed along with her.

“Hey, I wasn’t using it” the brunette chuckled as she finished her margarita. It had been declared a margarita night right after the discussion with the girls had finally finished. “I wasn’t that desperate, yet” she rolled her eyes and laughed some more.

The truth was that Ali had used that outhouse bathroom a lot over the years. She enjoyed her privacy but if her bladder was full, she was gonna empty it. Ashlyn knew this but was having way too much fun teasing her wife to acknowledge the facts.

“I can’t believe you peeped yourself!” Dom raised both eyebrows at Ali and wagged his finger back and forth. “Naughty, naughty.”

“Well I had to know what they had seen” Ali tried to defend her actions. “I wasn’t gonna punish them and make a whole big deal out of it if they couldn’t even see anything through the fucking hole!” she threw her head back and laughed again.

“Well?” Molly grinned mischievously. “What did you see?”

“Oh, the girls had a perfect, dick-high view, that’s for sure” Ali laughed and shook her head. “And so did I” she felt her cheeks flush.

“Are you sure you still know what one looks like?” Sydney teased and filled her bestie’s empty margarita glass again while everyone else cracked up. “Your kids don't count either. When was the last time you saw one? Germany?”

“Oh God, yeah” Ali chuckled and blushed even harder. “Junior year abroad” she nodded. “You can have ‘em” she flashed Sydney with a wicked smirk and then winked at her wife on the other side of the table. “I found something better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I vividly remember the beach outhouse scenario from my own youth.


	29. Highs and Lows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning  
> Buckle up....the bumpy ride continues...

The last week of the summer was supposed to be kept open for all the kids so they could relax and hang out at home and hit the beach before starting school the day after Labor Day. But that year, Dodge’s football camp was moved to that 10th week of summer. And it was also the only week that Josie could make it to music camp. It wasn’t ideal but there was no way either kid was going to be happy about missing out on either camp. Football was arguably Dodge’s favorite sport and music was Josie’s favorite thing in the world. Lily and Drew didn’t miss their siblings very much either. Drew was still a moody mess, preferring the solitary basement or his bedroom to spending time with his brother or sisters. Having just Lily around meant he didn’t have to split video game time with as many people during the day either.

The Pitmans had been noticeably quiet in the neighborhood since Andy’s arrest back at the very end of May. Sergeant Fulkerson had worked hard to make sure nothing went awry with the case, knowing the entire neighborhood, a neighborhood he had come to know well over the past several years, had been victimized in one way or another by the awful Pitman family. Andy Pitman finally hired a lawyer once he realized just how much shit he was in. It was hard to imagine anybody taking his case, really. But the lawyer he eventually hired convinced him that going to trial would be another terrible mistake. Getting a jury and having them see pictures of sick and dying family pets was a sure-fire fast-track to conviction. And a jury could get more liberal with fines and penalties if they were so inclined. Andy Pitman accepted a plea deal which essentially cut his prison sentence in half. Sgt Fulkerson talked it over with the Kriegers before letting the DA offer it to the defendant in the first place. Both Ali and Ashlyn were ticked off about it but, once their tempers had cooled off, they realized that it was better for everybody. The last thing they needed or wanted was a trial that would dredge up the horrible experience of losing Persey and almost losing Logan. They didn’t want the kids to have to deal with that again. 

But Whitney -marvelous, brilliant, wonderful Whitney - had another genius idea that she wanted to make part of any plea deal that was offered.

“We make them move...leave the neighborhood, hell, leave the whole goddamned city of Gloucester” Whitney smiled slyly as she explained her plan.

She and Ali were at the Knight-Harris office the second week of June, talking to Ashlyn in England on FaceTime.

“Can we do that?” Ali’s brow furrowed as she sat next to the lawyer in the office.

“Yeah, can we?” Ashlyn echoed her wife’s question.

“Almost anything can be included in a plea deal. It just depends on the DA, and how eager the defendant is to cut a deal. But I spoke with a colleague who says it’s the age-old adage of ‘they can’t say yes if you don’t at least ask’.”

“Then hell yes” Ashlyn’s voice was full of conviction as she replied quickly.

And that’s why the ‘For Sale’ sign was back up on old Mrs. Ornstein’s house across the street that August. Andy Pitman had started serving his 5-year sentence at the beginning of the month and the family was required to vacate the city of Gloucester, never to return as long as any of the immediate Krieger family still lived there, no later than September 1st. Nothing would ever bring Persey back or make the Kriegers forget how awful it had been for the two dogs as they fought for their lives. But having those Pitman assholes out of their neighborhood and, hopefully, out of their lives, was a small consolation for them. Good fucking riddance.

Ali and Ashlyn celebrated their 14th wedding anniversary on Monday August 25th to start that final week of summer. They went out for a quiet dinner at one of their favorite local restaurants and sat on the deck overlooking the shimmering Atlantic Ocean. After dinner they took a cruise around Gloucester Harbor, enjoying the warm summer evening and the beautiful sunset from the bow of the small cruise boat. They stood together and watched the buildings and docks pass by on the shore. The boat passed the Lighthouse at Eastern Point and then, on the return trip, the Hammond Castle came into view. Wonderful memories of their wedding day, and night, filled their conversation and thoughts for the rest of the evening.

They ended the night in their favorite way, with the bedroom door locked and a sexy playlist filling the room. After quick and dirty round one orgasms, Ali pushed Ashlyn flat on her back and laid on top of her, bringing their lips together in a slow, deep, passionate kiss. They made out for several more minutes, moaning into it as they got more and more worked up by roaming hands and searching fingers and flexing legs and hips.

“God I love your mouth” Ashlyn panted as they pulled apart. She felt her wife’s lips travel down her neck and moaned softly. “Damn...”

“My mouth loves your body” Ali chuckled, low in her throat, revealing just how turned-on she was. She brought her hands up Ashlyn’s long arms and then dragged them down to the beautiful pink nipples pressing up into her own chest. “I wish I could kiss you everywhere, all at once” her hot words worked in tandem with her fingertips and lips – each finding a pink bud and working them up to stiff points in mere seconds. “You’re so gorgeous Ashlyn” she mumbled as she licked up through the valley of her wife’s breasts. “I can never get enough of you...”

“That’s not what you said yesterday when you banished me to the basement with the monkeys” the keeper chuckled and then flinched when she felt a pinch to her side. “Ow” she laughed.

“Oh stop” Ali grinned and started to pinch with her other hand on Ashlyn’s other side.

“Oh no you don’t” the keeper shook her head and swiftly secured both of her wife’s wrists in her own strong hands. 

“Aww...but I can’t touch you now” Ali pouted playfully, taking advantage of the position and grinding her mound against the keeper’s with a satisfying hum. “Mmmmm...”

Ashlyn quirked her eyebrow and tilted her hips up to meet the pressure, giving them both a nice strong moment of hard contact there.

“You seem like you’ve found a workaround” the keeper chuckled and pressed her mound up harder into her wife.

“Mmmmm...” the brunette moaned approvingly and pushed against her wife’s hands to sit up.

Ashlyn allowed and helped her up but kept a hold of her wrists as she admired Ali’s beautiful body straddling her. Her medium length dark hair was half in and half out of the loose ponytail Ali liked to use when they had sex. She had grown tired of always having to move her hair out of her mouth or away from her face so she could see and taste her keeper. Ashlyn didn’t care how her wife’s hair was styled when they had sex – unless they were acting out one of her fantasies where Ali had a prim and proper bun on her head. Other than that, the keeper couldn’t have cared less. She did love the way Ali’s silky hair felt as it trailed loosely behind her head when she kissed her way down the keeper’s lanky body. But she didn’t love it enough to ask for it or make Ali put up with something that annoyed her during sex. She was brought out of her thoughts about Ali’s hair when the brunette began to rotate her hips and grind down more purposefully. Ashlyn moaned when she felt some pressure on the top of her clit and saw the hungry look on her wife’s face.

“Goddamn you’re beautiful” Ashlyn whispered, mesmerized by her wife, looking up at Ali as if she was worshipping a true goddess. “I love you like this...on top of me...everything at my fingertips...so fucking sexy...” the keeper released her wife’s wrists and let her hands move to Ali’s hips. “You’re the most gorgeous woman in the whole fucking world Al...fuck...” she groaned as she felt passion pooling between her legs. “You kill me baby, all I have to do is look at you...damn...”

The satisfied smirk on Ali’s face changed as she felt her wife’s thumb stroking the sweet spot near her left hip. The brunette’s mouth opened half way and her eyes darkened and became heavily lidded, just like that.

“Shit, babe...” she groaned at the tantalizing touch. “Fuck...”

Ali ground harder and Ashlyn could feel how wet her wife was, slipping against her skin. The brunette was ready for more and it shouldn’t have surprised her wife how quickly it happened, but it did. When they were between rounds one and two, as they were that night, they often took their time. They’d spend those lovely moments exploring and visiting the other’s flesh, talking or teasing or chuckling as they enjoyed the lingering effects of their first orgasms. They also used that time to determine if they were going to try for round two or not. Sometimes one of them was just too exhausted. Sometimes it was already too late in the evening or there had been hiccups with the kids along the way to those orgasms. Sometimes, although not very often, one big release was all they wanted or needed. But Ali was ready to go that night, barely taking a break between rounds. Sometimes they had sexy times like that, where they were both insatiable and desperate to fuck again right away. It had happened more when they weren’t parents, and were younger, but it still happened sometimes.

“You’re ready for me again, aren’t you?” Ashlyn pinched one dark nipple as Ali continued to roll her hips on top of her. “Mmmmm...” she moaned at the sexy sight of the brunette with her eyes closed, biting her lip and hissing at the not so soft touch.

“Yessssssss...”

Ashlyn pinched the other nipple the same way and squeezed her wife’s hip hard.

“You just came baby...you ready for me to fuck you again?” the keeper’s voice was low and husky with desire as she got more and more turned on herself.

“Yesssss...” Ali hissed again and then opened her eyes when she heard her wife’s hot words. “Jesus, yes babe...fuck me...I need you inside me right now...”

“You’re doing the work this time” Ashlyn smirked up at her as they shared a smoldering look. “Get up.”

It took almost two minutes, but Ali knew it would be worth the wait. She folded a bath towel in half and covered the seat of the dressing table chair with it while Ashlyn got what she needed out of the toy box in Ali’s closet. It wasn’t for comfort – the armless, wooden chair with the padded seat and backrest was worlds better than the old one they had replaced 15 years ago or so – the towel was there because Ashlyn had nearly ruined the padded seat the first time they tried this. It was protection against the passion that would drip and collect there...between the keeper’s legs.

Ali had her hand between her own legs, eyes never leaving her sexy wife as Ashlyn finally sat down in the chair. The brunette gathered her own juices and spread them over the newest addition to their toy collection – the knobby dildo for the thigh strap-on that was secured around her keeper’s right leg. She leaned in and devoured Ashlyn’s mouth in a sloppy, hungry kiss that nearly knocked the chair and keeper over backwards.

“Jesus Christ” Ashlyn gasped, mostly with admiration in her voice and on her face. She felt almost giddy by how turned on Ali was, at how fucking ready she was to go again.

“I can’t wait...” the brunette announced as her wife settled the chair and herself back into place, barely in time to receive Ali’s entire body right in her face and straddling her lap and the chair. There were no check-ins about readiness or wetness. Ashlyn barely had a few seconds to spread her own legs out before Ali started to lower herself down onto the knobby toy. “Help me” she pouted, with her arms around her wife’s neck, fingertips digging into soft skin there.

Ashlyn put her right hand on Ali’s left hip and used her left hand to guide the tip of the dildo to her wife’s soaked opening. She used two fingers to spread her lips out, opening her up, then held the toy in place as Ali slowly dropped herself lower. 

“Yeah, that’s it” the keeper purred as she watched the look of anticipation on Ali’s face slowly turn into one of satisfaction. “You like that, don’t you? You like those knobs filling you up...fuck Al...”

The keeper moved her left hand to Ali’s strong thigh, right between her own legs. She loved the feeling of the brunette’s muscles working to support her weight as she got lower and lower. Finally, Ali bottomed out and her wet center was flush against Ashlyn’s right thigh. She gave her whole body weight to the keeper’s leg for a couple of seconds as she got comfortable with her feet on the floor, ready to pump herself up and down and begin her ride. Both women were excited and they could feel the electric charge between their bodies. They locked eyes for a few seconds, dark orbs boring holes into each other, and then Ali lifted herself up a couple of inches and lowered herself right back down with a moan. The thigh strap-on had quickly become one of their favorite ways to have sex and they both used it, giving and receiving. Ali had originally given it to Ashlyn with the understanding that she would wear the thinner dildo it came with. But Ashlyn didn’t take long to find her wife’s favorite kind of dildo and add that to the mix. The real advantage to the thigh strap was that, in their current positions, Ali could use her fingers to touch and tease and fuck Ashlyn at the exact same time. With a regular strap-on dildo, getting access to the wearer’s sexy parts could be challenging or downright impossible sometimes.

“Mmmmm...feels soooo good...” Ali hummed as she started to lift herself up again, moving up and down the strap-on at a slow pace as she got used to it. Her thighs worked hard as they supported all of her momentum and weight.

The downside to the thigh strap was that there was no pressure from it on Ashlyn’s clit. That was a serious drawback but one they were both willing to live with. The sheer amount of pleasure they got from watching their wife riding it, breasts bouncing, mouth open, eyes half-closed, was enough to make it bearable. But then when you added in the benefit of her fingers on your own clit or inside you instead of relying on the knob and pressure from the regular strap-on, it was an easy win.

“You feel incredible baby” Ashlyn slid her left hand up her wife’s naked body, taking her time and finally finding one of her nipples. “You look fucking incredible too. Goddamn” she groaned as a huge wave of lust overtook her. “Fuck...”

Ali used her hands on top of her wife’s shoulders for support as she pumped herself up and down on the toy. She alternated tempo, going fast and furious for a couple of minutes, and then slowing down so she could practically feel every single knob on the dildo passing over her silken walls. When she stopped pumping to give her legs a rest, she ground down on Ashlyn’s thigh, moving her hips in circles for a while and then changing to a front to back pattern to get more friction on her aching clit. As soon as the brunette started grinding instead of pumping, Ashlyn took advantage and leaned forward to suck a beautiful breast into her mouth. She let her tongue swirl around the stiff nipple, flicking it firmly, then releasing it with a pop to move on to the other one. Ali took advantage of the same time to let her fingers tease Ashlyn’s sopping wet pussy, loving the way her wife sucked on her breast harder when she felt the touch between her legs.

“God, I love how wet you get for me...” Ali’s words dripped desire as her half-closed eyes practically glowed with want and hunger. “You like fucking me like this, don’t you?”

“Shit...fuck...oooh, that’s good...” was all the blonde could get out, in a strained voice that told Ali just how turned on she was.

Before Ali could tease her with more sultry words, Ashlyn flexed her right thigh, making the thigh strap move inside the brunette. She couldn’t help it. She wanted Ali to come and then she wanted to come, and she was having a hard time being patient about either one.

“Oh!” the brunette jumped at the unexpected movement of the strap-on inside her. “Mmmm...” she hummed as she started pumping up and down again.

The flush on Ali’s chest moved up to her neck aa she got closer and closer to her release. Ashlyn’s hands were both working on the brunette’s breasts as they bounced along with her movements. She was putting more and more weight onto the keeper’s thigh as her own legs began to get tired and she started to lose a bit of control over them. Ashlyn could tell she was close, very close.

“You ready to come for me now?” the keeper’s hoarse voice revealed how ready Ashlyn was for it too. When Ali didn’t reply, she asked again. “Are you? Are you ready, baby?”

“Mmmm...unnhhhh...” she moaned as she bounced, eyes barely open any more. “Y...yesss...please make me come...”

The keeper moved her right hand down and palmed Ali’s lower abdomen, applying just a bit of pressure to stay in place as the brunette continued to haphazardly pump and grind. Ashlyn let her thumb extend down until it was touching Ali’s swollen clit.

“Fuck, Yes!” she yelled out loud, startling the keeper but not disrupting her slowly increasing rhythm. “Oh...” Ali whined in a high pitch as she could feel her orgasm coiling low in her belly, almost ready to spring. 

She pulled her hand out of Ashlyn’s pussy so she could lean on it for support, resting it instead on her keeper’s left thigh. The wet feeling there made both women groan with want. Ashlyn began rubbing Ali’s clit hard and fast, making and keeping as much steady contact as she could while the brunette’s body writhed and lifted and ground against her leg.

“Yes Ash...” Ali’s voice was a desperate whisper as she started her final climb. “Yes...”

The keeper rubbed her wife’s clit, pinched and tugged on her nipple and watched as Ali’s gyrations slowed and then stopped. Her body stilled, except for where Ashlyn’s hands worked on it, and then stiffened as her orgasm arrived at last. Ali came hard. She bent over and fell against her keeper’s body, clinging to her shoulders again as her own body shook and jerked through her orgasm. She groaned and whimpered and gasped for breath, only vaguely aware of Ashlyn’s arms doing their best to hold onto her. After a minute that felt like a lifetime, Ali stood up and let the dildo slide out of her still tight pussy. She dropped heavily to the floor between her wife’s legs, resting her arms and head on Ashlyn’s lap for support. Ashlyn held one of her hands and ran the fingers of her other hand through her brunette locks, gently massaging her scalp as she came down from her high.

“You good?” Ashlyn chuckled softly as she moved her thumb across the back of her wife’s sweaty hand.

“So good” Ali panted and then chuckled too. “God I needed that, so bad...mmmm...” she pressed a kiss into the top of Ashlyn’s thigh. “That felt awesome, thank you honey.”

“It looked fucking awesome” the keeper tried hard to be patient. She was ready for her own orgasm any time now. “That’s twice now you’ve ended up on the floor though” she laughed. “Do we need to start putting a pillow down there for you my queen?”

“Ha ha, very funny” Ali sat up straighter and lifted her head to look at her beautiful wife. “I can’t help it. It’s your fault. You make me lose my damned mind” she giggled. “Especially tonight. I don’t know what got into me...” she pressed another kiss into the keeper’s upper thigh, near her hip.

“I’ve got a clue for you...” Ashlyn teased, bumping her right thigh, with the strap-on, into the brunette’s back.

They both laughed and Ali rolled her eyes before blinking a heartfelt look back into her favorite hazel ones. She rested her chin on Ashlyn’s mound and felt the keeper jump a bit at the contact. Ali could smell the sex and passion from between her wife’s legs and it made her core twitch, even though she’d just had two orgasms in rapid succession. The brunette got on her knees and sat back on her heels as she faced her wife. She used both hands to rub up and down Ashlyn’s thighs while nuzzling her chin and nose into her mound and then lower towards her sensitive, aching clit. Ashlyn let both of her hands play with Ali’s hair, watching her carefully as she scooted forward to the front edge of the chair. They shared a heated look and Ali could feel the desire vibrating off of her wife’s body as she spoke in a low, husky voice.

“How about I get a little something into you now...”

//

At the end of that last week of summer, Ali and Ashlyn had an entirely different kind of encounter. One that rocked their world for several weeks. For all their efforts to keep that last week low-key and relaxing so they could spend time with the kids before school started, it was a busy week. In addition to Dodge’s football camp and Josie’s music camp, Meg’s BC soccer team had two games – one on Thursday night 8/28 and the other on Sunday night 8/31. It had been the best month for Meg’s games that the Kriegers could have hoped for. The two away games were at Providence College in Providence, RI and at Boston University. With the 3 home games played in Newton, MA that meant the Krigers were able to attend all 5 games to cheer on their favorite goalkeeper. The run of games that were easy to get to continued almost through September as well, with 4 more home games and an away game at Northeastern University in Boston. The first game that would require a plane ride to get to would be the Duke game in North Carolina on Saturday 9/20. 

The troublesome, but not unfamiliar, issue presented itself early Thursday afternoon and Ali and Ashlyn fought about it over the phone.

“Well now we know why Drew’s been so moody for the past 5 weeks” Ali sighed heavily into the phone from her desk at the K-H office in Cambridge.

“What? What do we know? Who’d you talk to?” Ashlyn rattled off fast questions from her desk in the loft of the garage at the big old house. “Did he finally talk to you about it?”

“No, Drew’s still not saying a word. But Edgar finally told Kyle what happened.”

“Al, you’re killing me. What happened?! And why does Edgar know about it...” Ashlyn had stood up and started pacing without even realizing it. Logan got up from her bed in the loft and began walking with the blonde.

“It happened at soccer camp, the sleepover camp he and Edgar went to in the middle of July...” the brunette could hear her wife about to admonish her again and continued quickly. “Apparently something happened between Drew and another boy, another camper...”

“What, like a fight?”

“No, and before you bite my head off, Edgar doesn’t even really know what happened. But whatever happened between Drew and Brian...”

“Who the hell is Brian?” Ashlyn interrupted, aggravation mounting.

“The other boy at camp...”

“Al, for fuck’s sake. What the hell happened between Drew and Brian?!” Ashlyn shouted into the phone.

“I don’t know Ashlyn! Stop yelling at me!!” the brunette boomed back into her own phone, happy the door to her office was closed.

There was a long pause as both women tried to calm themselves down, but they were both angry with the other.

“Kyle says Edgar was pretty upset about it and finally told him this morning. Edgar says the other boys, the other campers, teased Drew about being gay because of whatever happened with Brian” she paused long enough to take a breath and then kept going before the keeper could take out her frustration on her again. “Something happened in the showers, or the locker room right after showers...”

“Jesus Christ...” Ashlyn exhaled softly.

The soccer camp was for all of the North Shore area and there were boys from several different cities and towns in attendance. Some brought friends or family members, just as Drew had brought Edgar. Drew and Edgar were participating in the U13 age group but there were boys there of all ages, from 8 to 15 years old. It was set up a lot like Ashlyn and Whitney’s Academy was, roughly. The campers were split up by age group so they could train to their ability level and all of those things. The idea that Drew would have to face some of the same boys and their cruel taunts from that soccer camp when he went back to school in 5 days made both moms sick to their stomachs. 

“We can talk to him tonight...” Ali started to map out a plan forward for them but Ashlyn angrily cut her off again.

“No, we can’t” her voice was clipped and curt. “I’m taking him, and Josie, to Meg’s game, remember?” she challenged aggressively.

“Yes, I remember” Ali’s reply was just as short. “I was going to say before you leave for the game and I have to take the twins to Tahlia’s birthday party tonight. If you’d let me fucking finish.”

There was another tense pause, twice as long as the first.

“Fine. When will you be home?” Ashlyn finally snapped.

Ashlyn and Ali had never argued as much as they had that year, ever. They were a normal married couple and they nagged at one another and bickered about the finer points of living together. That was different. Ashlyn had started snapping at her wife at the end of last year, culminating in the balance of mom power issue that had been addressed and corrected earlier that year. That had been a tear in the fabric of their marriage that had been repaired already. It had been a simple stitch, but it had taken time to complete the fix. The weekend in Newport and then the 4-family grown-up vacation in Grenada had followed, bringing Ali and Ashlyn closer than ever. Then the Pitman problem had presented itself and, although they hadn’t been fighting with each other, there was a disconnect between the two women. It had begun innocently enough – Ail tried to give her wife some space to deal with everything. Then Ashlyn had gone to the UK for two weeks of guaranteed space. But that too was followed by more repair and some time together, with the whole family, in England. Ashlyn had finally opened up to her wife about Andy Pitman, Persey, and that bitch Emily Quindlen. July had been restorative for both Ali and Ashlyn spending time together at The Academy and celebrating Ali’s birthday so romantically. But August had been hectic and disjointed. Ashlyn away at The Academy and then Meg’s games seemed to add undue pressure to the already full schedule for the Kriegers. But, again, they had come together, each woman striving towards the other, to put things back into balance. This had been capped off by their anniversary celebration just Monday night, three nights earlier. 

The slip back into two, from the one they so usually were, was faster this time than at any point thus far that year. Ali knew that they both tended to struggle with the kids going back to school and the unstoppable marching of time. Last year the brunette had been the one hit hardest by Drew going to Middle school for the first time. But more often than not, Ashlyn had a tough time in September with the back to school emotions. The brunette chalked the telephone argument up to those very emotions and tried not to take her wife’s barbs too personally. But both women were getting tired of the ups and downs their relationship suffered from that year. It was exhausting. 

They had been talking about Drew and the fact that he might be gay since Kyle had made it impossible to ignore back in May. Their plan had been to let Drew come out to them in his own time. But Ali had shared her fears about Drew going through something similar to what had driven Kyle into addiction. The two moms had agreed that they would let Drew take his time until they thought they needed to step in. The incident at soccer camp qualified as a reason to step in and they both knew it without even having to say the words out loud. It was a touchy subject for both of them because they were so conflicted about what the best approach was to help their son. A lot of that tension had bled through into the tense phone call from earlier that day.

The chat with Drew that afternoon when Ali got home did not go well. What happened in their master bedroom late that afternoon could barely be categorized as a chat at all. Both moms did their best to make sure their son knew they loved him and couldn’t care less about whatever had happened at soccer camp. Drew never said a word. He sat in silence in the gliding chair with his arms folded defensively across his chest, never making eye contact once.

“Honey, we talk about things in this family” Ali spoke tenderly to the uncomfortable boy from her seat on the edge of the bed, trying to convey all the love in her heart through the words leaving her lips. “Fun things and sad things and scary things...” she took a beat. “Big things and silly things. All the things. We’ve given you a lot of space about this for a while now and we’re not trying to pressure you...”

“But Drew, buddy, we can’t help you if we don’t know what’s going on” Ashlyn interrupted her wife for what felt like the millionth time that afternoon. She was slowly pacing at the foot of the bed. “There’s absolutely nothing that you could tell us that would make us love you any less. Nothing” she pleaded with their son. “Please talk to us, let us help you.”

They both held their breath, hoping their son would be brave, for once in his young life. But more silence greeted their hopes and not much else. Ali tried one more time.

“We’ve been telling you your whole life that it’s ok to be different, honey. We’re not telling you that just to say it. We’re telling you that because it’s the truth. If you’re different it doesn’t mean you can’t do everything everybody else does, if that’s what you want. You can be different and have a family and a good job or a great career...just look at Uncle Kyle...”

“I don’t wanna be like him!” Drew stunned them both by yelling. “Why do you always think I’m like him?!”

Ashlyn and Ali were so shocked by the outburst, complete with Drew jumping to his feet, that they didn’t know what to say or do. It was so much information to take in that they honestly didn’t know where to start. Drew himself seemed surprised by his own reaction and immediately turned even redder than he already had been, dropping his eyes and looking like he wished he could just disappear. Ali and Ashlyn exchanged a quick, helpless look as their brains raced to think of something to say or do. The seconds stretched on and the awkward silence got more and more awkward. Finally, Ashlyn just blurted out something the boy had been hearing his whole life from all the adults in their family. It had never bothered him before so she tried it again. Maybe some ironic humor would help loosen him up?

“Well, you look just like him so...” 

Ali was the first to break, and her short, loud, shout of a laugh filled the room. Ashlyn laughed next, more of a nervous release than anything. It took him a few more seconds, but Drew joined in too. Laughing and rolling his eyes at the longtime joke and how perfectly he had set his mother up to deliver the punchline. Ashlyn stepped forward and put him in a playful headlock, giving him a halfhearted noogie while Ali laughed along with them. They were running out of time to get going to Meg’s game as well as the birthday party so Ashlyn took another leap.

“You know we don’t care if you’re gay or bi or whatever you want to call it, right?” she kept him in the headlock mostly because he made no attempt to get out of it. It was more of a hug than anything so she kept holding him as she spoke. She thought she was going to cry when she felt him wrap his arms around her waist in reply as he listened to her words. “We just want you to be happy, that’s all. We don’t care if you like boys or girls or robots – well, I guess we’d prefer a human...” all three of them laughed and Ali couldn’t resist any longer. She moved in and joined the hug, kissing Drew on his head.

“I know you guys” he sighed and all three of them separated themselves from each other but stood close together as the tension remained at bay. “But I’m not gay” he shrugged and both moms thought the words came out too smoothly. It almost felt rehearsed. But they weren’t going to argue with him about it.

“Ok sweet boy” Ali stole another kiss, this one on his cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too” Ashlyn got choked up. “Just...promise us you’ll talk to us if you ever need to, ok?”

“I will” he gave them both an awkward half-smile and looked towards the doorway.

“Go ahead” the keeper patted his butt as he moved to leave the room. “Tell Josie we’re leaving soon.”

It wasn’t until the next night that Ali and Ashlyn had a chance to talk about it again. They were both convinced that Drew was in some sort of willful denial about being gay. They both thought their son was struggling with some kind of inner-homophobia and it made them extremely upset. The talking turned into arguing and they were both angry and frightened. They reconvened down in the basement where they could yell if they needed to without waking any of the kids ups. 

“You sound like you don’t want him to be gay” Ashlyn accused. “Like you’ve got a problem with it if he is.”

“Oh that’s bullshit and you know it” the brunette snapped back. “I don’t care if he’s gay” she shook her head, exasperated. She was also sick of people saying that to her. Kyle had accused her of the same thing back in May when they had discussed the exact same subject. “Of course I don’t want him to be gay” she emphasized the word want. “No mother hopes and prays that their kids will be gay. I want his life to be easy, or at least, not hard” she continued. “But I won’t care one way or the other if he is, and you know it. Get out of here with that crap.”

“You literally just said you didn’t want him to be gay!” the keeper squinted at her wife, both of them getting even more upset and argumentative.

“You know exactly what I mean. Just knock it off Ashlyn” her voice was stern and her face severe.

“It makes too much sense” the keeper went back to another topic that they had argued about several minutes earlier. “His stomach problems, his nerves, his shyness...he’s hiding and he’s terrified someone will find him out.”

Ali kept getting stuck on the fact that he had told them to their faces that he wasn’t gay. It was hard for her to set that aside. Her own son’s word carried a lot of weight with her, even if all of the logic was backing up Ashlyn’s point of view. 

“Or maybe, like he said, he’s not gay!”

Their argument escalated more and more over the next 20 minutes until they were both so worried about Drew and pissed off with each other that they snapped. They were so afraid of what they had done to cause their son’s situation, each of them sure it was her own fault somehow. It could have happened in any order, but Ali was the one who happened to get her kill shot out first. She was barely aware of what she was saying by that point in the nasty, fear-fueled fight. Ashlyn had paced circles around the basement gym as they argued and Ali had been gesticulating with her hands until it was hard to even keep track of them they were moving with such speed and sharpness. Ashlyn went off on a diatribe about mental health and mental illness and how she couldn’t believe their son needed a child psychologist. The debate level had degraded significantly since moving the heated argument down to the basement. They weren’t even listening to each other anymore, just taking turns yelling their fear and guilt around.

“He needs our help!” Ashlyn’s face was strained as she shouted. “He’s clearly not handling it well by himself. His stomach will start bothering him again and he’ll stop eating...none of it’s healthy for him!”

“Yeah, well we know where he gets his mental illness from, don’t we?!” Ali glared at the keeper, pure fury coming out of her pores as she stood there with her hands on her hips and her chin jutted out defiantly. Her sharp tongue, usually reserved for other people, lashed out at Ashlyn instead.

The words wounded the blonde deeply, but instead of causing her to take a beat, Ashlyn absorbed the fury and rechanneled it back out towards the brunette with her own vicious venom.

“Ha! Don’t look at me, he’s not even my kid!!”

Ali’s whole body felt the blow those words delivered. They almost knocked her over, she was so stunned by them. She missed her chance to strike back and Ashlyn let another painful barb fly.

“Maybe you make the people around you crazy! Did you ever think about that?!” Ashlyn’s face was red and splotchy from all the emotion gushing through her system. “Maybe it’s all your fault!”

That one staggered the brunette. Ali took an unsteady step backwards, away from her wife and the horrible words she was saying. Tears sprang to her eyes and she wiped furiously at them with her fingertips as she tried to think of something to say. But all she could think of was how much those words hurt. Did Ashlyn really not feel like Drew’s mother? That idea was so foreign and just impossible to process that Ali’s face looked like a robot that was malfunctioning. Her eye twitched as the tears fell down her cheeks. Her mouth opened, then closed, then opened again all in the span of 10 seconds. She took a hand off of her hip and pointed vaguely and then let it fall limply to her side.

Ali’s words had caused just as much harm to the keeper. It was her own worst nightmare after all. Ashlyn passing any sort of mental deficiencies on to any of their children – it was a common fear of hers and she had shared it with her therapist several times over the years.

But Ashlyn’s attacks had been twice as many as Ali’s, and quickfire, one right after the other, for devastating effect.

“Al, I’m sorry...I didn’t mean it...I...I’m sorry” Ashlyn’s eyes were wide and she grabbed the back of her neck with one hand as she tried to find a way to further de-escalate things between she and her wife.

Ali nodded and swiped again at her tears, pissed off that she couldn’t argue without crying like a fucking baby. She wanted to apologize too but she couldn’t get anything to come out of her mouth except a quiet sob. She nodded one more time and felt her anger spike again as she replayed the last five minutes in her mind. She had to get out of there before she said something else. Something worse. Was there anything worse than blaming her wife’s own struggles with mental health for their son’s? She didn’t think so. She couldn’t believe she had said that. What the fuck was she thinking?

“Al...” the keeper took a step towards her but Ali shook her head and started to move towards the playroom half of the basement and the stairs up to the first floor.

“Sorry” Ali gasped out. “Sorry” she repeated once more as she walked quickly away.


	30. Relationships

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 30 already! Only 7 or 8 more to go...  
> This one won't bring you complete closure, but it was a big fight.

To say things were tense between Ashlyn and Ali would be the understatement of the year. The keeper slept up in her studio that Friday night, too full of both anger and hurt at what Ali had said to her, as well as guilt over what she had said to the brunette. She fluctuated hour by hour between crushing sadness, debilitating guilt, and powerful anger. Ali felt much the same way. She lay alone in the big bed running the fight back through her mind on a tortuous loop. Technically they had both apologized for their spiteful words, flung out in anger and exasperation, all rolled up and hidden beneath a haze of palpable worry about their son’s well-being. Ashlyn knew, deep down inside, that her wife didn’t really think Drew’s challenges with his own confidence and mental health had anything to do with the keeper’s own struggles with mild depression or minor PTSD. Just like Ali knew that her wife didn’t really believe she made the people around her crazy. And she knew without the tiniest doubt that the blonde was every bit Drew’s mother as she herself was. The words they had hurled at each other would have been nonsensical in any other context. If they’d been having drinks with Sydney or Whitney and all been joking about motherhood, those exact same words would have sounded so silly that they all would have doubled over in hysterical laughter.

That Friday night fight about Drew would go down as one of the biggest of their lives together. It was right up there, definitely top 10 and possibly top 5, and it would take some time for both women to get past it. And with busy September barreling through, time was hard to come by. Drew bravely took the school bus to his second year of middle school, as a 7th grader. Josie and the twins were still at the elementary school and Ali still dropped them off and Ashlyn still picked them up every day. It was Josie’s final year at East Gloucester Elementary though. She was finally big woman on campus as a 5th grader and she loved it. She had been excited about finally being able to take part in the First Thanksgiving re-enactment that the 5th graders did every November. And she had to admit to being more than a little curious about what she would learn in the sex education class that year. Dodge and Lily entered 3rd grade and it was almost impossible to think of them as the little kindergarteners they had been when they first joined their big siblings at the school. 

All four kids continued to blossom under the guidance and instruction of their teachers. Their own unique personalities shone brighter and stronger every day as they made new friends and grew out of older ones. They tried new activities and learned new lessons, some of them the hard way. Josie and Lily both participated in the drama program and were practicing and preparing for their parts in ‘Tall Tales and Heroes’ that Fall. Dodge was interested in doing another play too, but he already had both soccer and football on his plate and his moms didn’t want to overload him. They felt bad telling him he could only do two of the three because they knew he’d pick soccer and football and they didn’t want to discourage him from pursuing something more creative. But they had already agreed that two extracurricular activities was enough, especially when you consider their musical instruments were basically a third activity anyway.

And the twins started playing their new instruments with a bang, literally. Dodge, after having some talks with both moms over the end of the summer, chose the drums and absolutely loved it. Both Ali and Ashlyn second-guessed the wisdom of giving their energetic son sticks as an instrument, but they knew he would love it. The hidden perk to Dodge playing the drums was that he didn’t have to bring a drum home with him like all the other kids had to do with their instruments – only his drumsticks. He could practice his drum parts using his sticks on any number of different surfaces in the big old house. His parents bought him his own snare drum though, wanting him to be able to practice effectively on the actual instrument so he could get used to the feel of it. It wasn’t cheap and he was warned that if anything happened to it he wouldn’t be getting it repaired or replaced.

Lily took up the French Horn, as planned, and everything about it was challenging. Drew helped her learn how to make her lips work on the mouthpiece so she could get an actual French horn sound out of the thing. The instrument was big and awkward and both moms were worried that their fickle little girl would give up on it without really giving it a chance. They were prepared to force her to stick with it, at least through the first term of the school year. If she wanted to try something else for the second half of the year they would allow it. Needless to say, they did not buy their daughter a French horn. They took advantage of the school rental program as most of the other families did. 

Josie continued with her flute, becoming quite good for a 5th grader. She loved music so much that she never got tired of practicing. That was a big part of what separated her from most of the other kids in the whole school. She got better because she practiced more. Yes, she clearly had a natural gift for music and singing, but she still had to put the work in to excel. It was a great life lesson for all of the Krieger kids. The big change that September for Josie was her private piano teacher. Mrs. Clinton, who had been coming to the big old house and teaching Josie for 5-1/2 years, retired at the end of the summer. Ali and Ashlyn were worried about how their daughter would take it but the redhead’s main concern had been whether or not she could get a new teacher. She would miss Mrs. Clinton, but in her practical way, Josie wanted to make sure that her private lessons could continue. That was the most important thing to her. Which is how handsome, young Mr. Kershaw came into their lives that September. He was a former student of Mrs. Clinton himself who had graduated from The Julliard School in New York City and recently relocated back to Boston. He was in his early 30s and as full of life and enthusiasm as Mrs. Clinton had been business-like and strict.

“The best way to start is with a solid foundation” he explained during his interview with Ali and Ashlyn the first week of September. “There’s nobody better for that than Mrs. Clinton. If you start off learning the perfect way to do...everything” he shrugged and they all shared a knowing grin at the proper and thorough Mrs. Clinton, “then you develop excellent fundamentals. Once you have the fundamentals and they’re second nature for you” his face lit up as he spoke the rest of his sentence, “then you can fly.”

He didn’t know it at the time, but that one remark had won him the job. It was precisely the way both Ali and Ashlyn felt about almost everything, but especially sports. They knew he’d fit right in with their style of guidance for Josie and all their kids. They had offered private piano lessons for the other kids too, but they weren’t interested. They occasionally went and banged out something on the piano in the front parlor, but that was about it. And that was ok. All the moms wanted was for their kids to have things in their life that they enjoyed doing. If focusing on the piano wasn’t it, that was totally ok. 

Drew’s interest in the trumpet had grown over the four years that he had been playing it. He improved every year and seemed to really enjoy playing in the middle school band. Middle school band was obviously a step up from elementary school band. Drew was learning to play second trumpet parts because in middle school band most of the instrument groups were broken up into harmonic parts so they weren’t all playing the exact same thing. It was new and challenging and he was proud of the fact that the band director had given him second trumpet instead of third trumpet like he had played last year, his first year in middle school. First trumpet would have been better, but Drew took even the small victories to heart. He wasn’t first trumpet but at least he wasn’t third. Drew Krieger was a second trumpet kind of kid in most aspects of his life – accomplished and talented enough to separate himself from the rest of the pack, but not enough to be truly outstanding like first trumpet.

All four young Kriegers sang in the chorus at their respective schools. It killed Ali that so many kids grew up singing their hearts out all through the lower grades, usually right up to 5th grade, and then stopped altogether when they got to middle school and high school. Singing was fun and it was good for the soul – the brunette was convinced. She and Ashlyn both encouraged all of their children to sing as often as possible and especially when available at school. Boys in particular it seemed dropped out of music and drama and chorus far more than girls did and the Krieger moms were hoping their sons would break the mold and continue to participate in all of the creative activities all throughout high school. They knew it was a tall order, especially with the amount of sports both Drew and Dodge already loved so dearly. But the moms could dream.

And God love the grandparents and uncles who showed up to the recitals and concerts just as often as they did the soccer games. That was the biggest difference-maker for the kids. Why would they do something that nobody cared enough about to come and watch? Koty and Brianna were the best, after Ken and Vicki of course, but the younger Wild couple had busy lives of their own to navigate with much fuller schedules than retired Ken Krieger did. Ali always made sure to tell her step-brother how much it meant to her to have he and Brianna there so much. 

“I love it, you know I do” Koty grinned as he and Ali sat with the rest of the Krieger clan at the soccer fields one Saturday in September. 

The Kriegers were usually there for several hours, often 4 or 5 hours but sometimes even more, and they came prepared. They brought a cooler full of sandwiches for lunch and snacks between soccer games. There was another cooler for drinks and several folding chairs to go with the blanket they spread out on the grass to carve out their space for the day. Ali had just given Koty the rundown on the Fall schedule of dates for Josie’s piano recital, the elementary school band and chorus concert, the elementary school play, and the middle school band and chorus concert. 

“If you were just pretending I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have lasted more than a year” Ali laughed as they ate lunch between Dodge and Drew’s games. “Two, tops.”

“I know you’ll return the favor” he winked.

“Absolutely” the brunette grinned at the thought of Brianna and Koty finally welcoming their child in another 5 months. “We’ll be there, full force.”

They both laughed and Ali reached over and gave her step-brother’s arm a squeeze. He smiled back at her as he spoke.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

Another development for the kids as they got older was getting their first girlfriend or boyfriend. It was inevitable but it still staggered both moms when they thought about their babies having a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Of course, the term boyfriend and girlfriend barely applied at that age. Drew had revealed that he had a girlfriend one evening during dinner, last Fall when he had been in 6th grade. And now Josie and Kayla were talking about choosing a boyfriend too. 

“So what do boyfriends and girlfriends do in 5th grade?” Ashlyn asked the girls one morning at the soccer fields while they were killing time after their game.

They were enjoying a well-earned ice cream from the concession stand back at their blanket. Both girls chatty as ever as they usually were when they hung out together.

“If you have recess together you do that” Kayla offered quickly before Josie followed her with her own answer, playing off of each other like best friends did.

“And you sit together at lunch” the redhead nodded.

“Do you have to share your lunch with them?” the keeper tried to keep a straight face. She really wanted to know the answer but the girls were so adorable it was hard not to smile at their serious little faces. 

“No, you don’t have to” Josie shook her head, answering the question after considering it for a few seconds. “But you can.”

“Yeah, you don’t have to” Kayla repeated. “But sometimes you do. Or maybe you can have part of their lunch. But you don’t have to.”

After several more questions Ashlyn had learned that 5th grade boyfriends and girlfriends played together at recess, ate together at lunch, waited for each other and walked to the bus together after school – if they both took the bus. Away from school they would call each other or text each other several times during the afternoon and evening. Sometimes they would go to each other’s house after school and do homework or watch tv or play video games. And they might go to the mall or the movies together, usually with other friends around too. That was it. The only physical affection exchanged was some hand-holding and the very occasional kiss. And by kiss, they meant lightly touching their closed and tense lips together for the briefest of seconds. This was exactly the type of relationship Drew had engaged in last year with his first girlfriend which is why neither of his mothers felt as though it defined his actual sexuality.

Ashlyn could remember the first time she had driven Drew to Jocelyn’s house last year. He was a 6th grader, a new middle-schooler, and he was typically tight-lipped about his very first girlfriend. Both Ashlyn and Ali had tried to learn more about Jocelyn from their son but ended up getting more information out of Josie than they did Drew. Of course, now that they were at different schools, the redhead’s intel wasn’t as good as usual. The keeper also remembered not liking Jocelyn very much. She had gotten a frightening look at the perils of being a parent to children who put their hearts in other people’s hands. Jocelyn was nice enough, but she wasn’t all that interested in Drew. Although, to be fair, he didn’t seem all that interested in her either. The relationship ran its course and they quietly stopped ‘dating’ just before the end of the school year. That’s what most middle-schoolers did – dated during the school year and then ended it, waiting until the following September to find another boyfriend or girlfriend for the next year. This year, 7th grade Drew seemed to be talking to and about a girl named Erin a lot. It was still only September so she might not be the one for him yet, but it sure looked like it to Ashlyn. Neither mom was convinced girls were Drew’s only interest either and they were pretty sure he would choose a girlfriend soon to help keep the gossip and teasing about whatever had happened at soccer camp at bay. Both Ali and Ashlyn were relieved that the teasing seemed to fade quickly for Drew as September wore on. And now Josie was going to start the whole ‘dating’ thing a year earlier than her big brother had? The keeper didn’t know if her own heart could handle it. Goddamn it was hard being a parent.

Ali coached Drew’s, Josie’s, and Lily’s soccer teams again and still loved doing it. Her own adult soccer league play was put on hold until the Spring because she simply didn’t have enough time to do it. But she and Sydney promised each other that they would do it in March of 2032 when the Spring league started. Dodge was playing up 2 years, with the U11s, and getting better and better every year. It was as if the ball wanted to be near his feet and gravitated towards him when he was on the pitch. Of course he hustled his butt off, all the Krieger kids did, and that was part of why he was so good. But just as Josie had a natural affinity and passion for music and the piano, Dodge had a gift when it came to soccer. For all of his competitiveness, he was laid back about his athletic success. When somebody asked him how his last game had gone, he would shrug and toss off a reply as if he was talking about something as mundane as tying his shoes.

“We won, 5-2, I scored twice.”

It wasn’t condescending. It was very understated. He was just stating the facts and being humble at the same time. He almost came off as disinterested when he would answer those questions, and that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. As much of a hambone as he could be, he was remarkably humble about his own achievements. It might have been because he was used to an older brother and an older sister achieving things before him. Whatever the cause, Ali and Ashlyn were grateful for his humility. It helped during the games when he was running circles around so many of the other players. It was hard enough for the other parents not to hate him, at least he wasn’t a cocky jackass about it too.

Soccer season at the Krieger household was a beautiful time of year. All four kids truly loved playing soccer and Ali and Ashlyn got them into watching the best men’s leagues on tv whenever possible. They watched women’s soccer too, a lot, but there was still twice as much men’s soccer available on tv so that’s what they watched the most of. Ashlyn’s favorite men’s team was FC Barcelona and she had loved them all her life, for as far back as she could remember. She had been thrilled when Lionel Messi joined her favorite club, adding to the long list of exceptionally gifted players who had worn the Barca jersey over the decades. FCB played in the Spanish league, La Liga and had won every major tournament you could think of. They didn’t compete in the World Cup or the Olympics because they were a club team and those were international events. 

Ali on the other hand, was a tried and true, fan of the blue, Chelsea Football Club diehard. She had loved the team since she was a little girl and her youth team had become pen pals through a sister club program with girls from Chelsea who all loved their local men’s club more than life itself. They were one of the best teams in the English Premiere League and had also won every major club-level tournament you could think of. It was fun for both women to watch their kids get to know the different teams and try and pick a favorite. Dodge latched onto Cheleea immediately because he loved blue and their nickname was the Blues. Drew chose Real Madrid, also in La Liga, because one of the first and best soccer games he ever watched with his parents was Barcelona vs Real Madrid. When the two epic rivals played, it was called ‘El Classico’ and, just as it did millions of new fans every season, it captured Drew’s heart right there on the spot. It also meant that he and Ashlyn cheered for bitter rivals, always making the big old house echo with brash statements and predictions between the two of them. 

The girls were different. They balked at picking a favorite men’s team because they wanted to pick a favorite women’s team. Ali and Ashlyn made it clear that they would also be picking favorite women’s teams. They explained that when they had been girls they didn’t have women’s teams to choose from – which made all four young kids think hard. Josie took her time and watched several different games before finally deciding on Arsenal in the EPL. She thought it was funny that their fans were called Gooners and wanted to be called that too. It didn’t hurt that the team was talented and exciting to watch either. Lily, poor, adorable, indecisive Lily couldn’t really pick a favorite team. She vacillated between two teams for the better part of a year before somewhat arbitrarily choosing Crystal Palace because she liked the name. Meg had been through the professional men’s league indoctrination with Ashlyn and Ali years earlier. Meg had chosen Paris Saint-Germain, PSG, who were based in Paris and played in Ligue 1 there. She toyed with backing Manchester United and if she had been pressured to choose an EPL team, that would have been her choice. But something about PSG captivated the younger Meg and she had loved them ever since.

Choosing a favorite women’s soccer team was the easiest thing in the world – the Boston Breakers. Boom. Josie and Lily were barely aware of any other women’s leagues anyway, but Ali and Ashlyn were hoping to expand their horizons in that regard. It was still hard to watch some of the women’s games, even in 2031. And the overseas leagues played games while the kids were asleep so there were some challenges to overcome there. But they would do it. And the favorite men’s MLS team was the New England Revolution because duh, Uncle Tanner played for them. And college soccer, not nearly as popular in the big old house until the women’s college cup rolled around every Fall, was also an easy pick. Boston College Eagles and their sophomore back-up keeper Meg Doucette and assistant coach Niki Cross were obvious favorites. Some of the most intense times the house ever experienced were college cup games between UNC and Penn State. Ali turned 47 years old in 2031 and Ashlyn 46 and you would think they were still starting for their old college teams. There was a little tinge of sadness though too, but only Ashlyn picked up on it. Ali chose Penn State instead of Boston University because it had been her first choice and because it had a better soccer program. The brunette had made enormous strides in terms of her complicated relationship with soccer. It had been her first love, but it had also shattered her soul. Sharing men’s soccer with the kids and celebrating women’s soccer with the Breakers were easy but helpful steps for her. Coaching at The Academy and coaching her kids’ youth league teams had helped more than anything up to that point. But it wasn’t until Meg started playing college D1 soccer last year that Ali felt the last bit of bitterness start to die out inside her heart. She felt silly even talking about it with Mattie, and now Dr. Emerson. Being able to embrace Meg and her college experience was harder than Ali thought it was going to be, but she had done it, really, truly done it. Once the season was over the brunette found a peace in her heart that she honestly never thought she’d experience again when it came to soccer. The beautiful game had been nothing but wonderful and rewarding for Ashlyn – all of her injuries aside, but it had dealt Ali a different set of cards to play out. She finally felt like she had won the hand and was ready to shed that bitterness and pain and anger and sadness once and for all. 

She spoke with Dr. Cassidy Emerson about it at an appointment the third week of September. Ali still saw the therapist a couple of times a year when she felt like she needed some help with something. And she and Ashlyn went to couples appointments about the same amount of time, a few times a year. Ashlyn went once a month, and more often if she needed to. She had been going every other week for the better part of the year so far, trying to deal with leftover Emily Quindlen stuff, and the balance of power with Ali issue, and the Andy Pitman drama. It felt like one thing after another for the blonde that year. Now, the fight about Drew had brought both women to the therapist separately. All three, Ali, Ashlyn, and Dr. Emerson, knew they would eventually get to a couples appointment to finish the issue off together, but they weren’t ready for that yet. It had only been 3 weeks.

“So tell me about soccer so far this Fall” Dr. Cassidy Emerson asked with a warm smile once Ali had situated herself on the couch in Mattie’s old office.

It felt strange being in that familiar space but not having Dr. Mattie Olsen there with her. Ali had never thought therapy could be the way it had been with Mattie. She trusted the older woman, literally, with her life. There wasn’t much that the brunette was afraid to tell Dr. Olsen. Their trust had grown and developed over time and Mattie had encouraged both Ali and Ashlyn to remember that there had once been a time when they were hesitant to trust her. If they gave Dr. Emerson a chance and some time, they would be pleasantly surprised, Mattie assured them. It still felt peculiar, sitting there in Mattie’s old office that looked very similar but then new at the same time because of the redecoration. Dr. Emerson hadn’t gone wild, by any means. She hung her own pictures and artwork on the walls and put her own things on the desk, but that was it. She had taken over for Mattie in July and had bonded fairly quickly with Ashlyn. But Ali hadn’t seen the younger therapist nearly as often as her wife had. The brunette took a deep breath and told herself to be patient and trust Mattie. Mattie trusted Dr. Emerson and that meant that Ali could too. Right?

“So far so good” Ali replied evenly, thinking as she answered. “All the kids are still loving it and I’m still loving coaching” she nodded. “Meg’s team is doing well. They won again last night and Meg got the start and a clean sheet” she was beaming by the time she finished talking.

“I can see you’re enjoying it. That’s wonderful Ali. I know what a tremendous accomplishment that is for you. Congratulations” Dr. Emerson smiled again and the brunette felt it land inside her own chest and took strength from it.

They talked about the kids and Ali’s parents and the grandparents aging concerns and everything she could think of, including the most recent subject that had thrown a monkey wrench into their marriage. At least the last one the brunette had shared with the therapist.

“And how are things going at the office?”

“Good, they’re good” Ali nodded as a small, proud smile graced her face. 

It had taken a long time, much too long really, but she had done it. She had vanquished the last enemy left behind by Emily Quindlen and her sickness. She had almost allowed the foe to steal a sneaky victory by infiltrating her relationship with Ashlyn, but Ali had found the strength she needed to conquer the office after all. 

“Still thinking about trying to move back to your old office?”

“I am, but I’m not in a hurry” Ali sighed and felt slightly embarrassed by her reasoning.

“I’m glad you’re feeling comfortable and confident at work again” Dr. Emerson smiled. “But remember what happened the last time you let the challenge stretch out...”

“I know, I know” Ali nodded quickly, wanting to assure the therapist that she had no intention of letting too much time go by again. “I won’t. It’s just...”

After a brief pause, Dr. Emerson nudged her a bit, her voice calm and inquisitive but not pushy.

“It’s just what?”

“Oh it’s silly” the brunette chuckled and rolled her eyes, taking one last beat before sharing her most personal thoughts. “I like being in Ashlyn’s space” she shrugged shyly, glancing quickly at Dr. Emerson and then looking at her hands in her own lap again. “I don’t know...it just feels...nice, I guess. I mean, I like my office better, the way it’s set up and organized. And I don’t really feel like I can re-arrange her office, although she’s told me a million times that I can. I guess I don’t want to. I want it to stay hers...because I like it that way.” She looked at the therapist, who was smiling and nodding back at her, and felt foolish and childish but in the best way. “I told you, it’s silly” she laughed. “But it’s kind of like when we first got together” Ali’s face started to grin as she spoke, and the grin got bigger and bigger as the words left her lips. “If, when, I stayed at her house I’d use her shampoo sometimes, even though I brought my own – just because I wanted to smell like her” she blushed as she grinned. “I wanted to keep some of her with me during the day while we were apart. I feel like that, a little bit, when I’m in her office now.” She laughed again and shook her head. “See? Silly.”

“I don’t think silly is the word I’d use” Dr. Emerson chuckled. “I think that sounds sweet and romantic. Thank you for sharing it with me.”

They talked about everything in the brunette’s life that day in September, except for Drew’s sexuality and the fight she and Ashlyn had 3 weeks earlier. Just before the end of the session Dr. Emerson cleared her throat and gave it a shot.

“Now, I know about what happened with Drew at his soccer camp” the therapist spoke carefully and watched the brunette closely to help her safely navigate the next topic. She knew from sitting in on several appointments with Dr. Olsen and the Kriegers that Ali wasn’t as easy to open up about things as Ashlyn typically was. Dr. Emerson wanted to open the door to the topic but not push or pull the brunette one way or the other. “And I know about the argument you and Ashlyn had about it.” There was a pause for a full minute as Ali dropped her eyes to her lap and tugged distractedly on her fingers. “We don’t have to talk about it, but I wanted you to know that I’m aware of it...in case you were feeling like you didn’t want to have to start from scratch with me on it.”

But Ali wasn’t ready to talk to her therapist about the fight just yet. Or how anxious she was about their upcoming trip to Mia Hamm’s annual charity Golf Tournament in North Carolina. And definitely not how she was starting to feel jealous about how much time Ashlyn was spending with Hannah again. No, those were the things she shared with Sydney that Saturday night when the coach came to the big old house to keep her bestie company and catch up on what had so obviously been bothering her.

“So, she’s at Meg’s game tonight, at Duke” Sydney clarified after listening to the brunette ramble for the previous 10 minutes. As soon as the kids were in bed Ali had poured herself a second glass of wine and let her mouth run loose, surprising and worrying the coach. After Ali nodded affirmatively, Sydney continued. “And she’s staying down there until Mia’s golf thing Wednesday, and you’re meeting her there on Tuesday.”

“Yes. God Syd, I already told you all of that” she sighed, frustrated and suddenly very tired.

“I’m just getting my facts straight” Sydney patted her arm as they sat together on the family room couch, Logan snoring at their feet. “Calm down, I heard you.”

“Oh Syd...I really fucked up” Ali blinked back the first wave of tears.

“Couples fight boo, we all do. You know that. Just because you and Ash had some fairy tale year last year doesn’t change that” she chuckled as she referenced the way Ali and Ashlyn had come together in the year after Emily Quindlen’s stalking and attack. The couple had been there for each other all year and hadn’t had any real fights along the way. It was as though they had been in a different kind of bubble, a bubble where they had been nothing but patient and kind with one another, no matter what. “I wish it did, but it doesn’t” she gave her bestie a warm smile and an encouraging nod. “Now start at the beginning and let’s get this figured out.”

Ali had already told Sydney about the fight, but they hadn’t had much of a chance to talk about the three weeks since then. She explained how she and Ashlyn had apologized again to each other the day after the fight but had been giving each other space ever since then.

“We’re both hurt and a little freaked out and it’s just awful” the brunette sighed heavily. “And it’s been so busy that we really haven’t had a chance to do much about it. I’m coaching 3 nights a week and she’s driving the kids to their music lessons and everything else...you know how it is.”

Sydney did know how it was for parents who functioned as butlers, cooks, housecleaners, chauffeurs, tutors, coaches, launderers, bankers, and personal valets for their kids. There was never any time left over. After the kids were in bed the parents had to clean up after the day that had just happened in the house. If they didn’t clean up at least some of the mess each night there’d be no room for the next day’s mess and then sheer chaos would ensue. After cleaning up they had to get lunches ready for the next day and make sure backpacks and homework and instruments and music folders were all ready and waiting for the bus or car ride to school. Then there was laundry to do, bills to pay, dogs to tend to, missing things to find, kid books for school to try and keep reading along with, parent-teacher group emails to reply to and meetings to organize, cookies and brownies to bake for any number of school activities and often more than one at the same time, vehicles to be serviced and appliances to be replaced after years and years of heavy use. Three weeks had gone by in the blink of an eye and Sydney had absolutely no doubt in her mind that Ali and Ashlyn probably had only had a few hours each week that they could have made time to talk about the fight. And she wouldn’t be surprised if they had chosen to catch up on missing sleep instead.

“I know. There’s never enough time, forget about trying to find a good time” Sydney chuckled. “But you can talk in NC, on your golf trip, right?”

“I hope so” Ali swallowed. “I’m so nervous though.”

“About what? Golfing or talking or being alone with your wife after 3 weeks of basically just being roommates?” the coach giggled and was happy to see Ali do the same.

“Yes” the brunette chuckled again. “Exactly.”

“So are we sleeping in the same bed but not as close?”

“Yeah” Ali nodded sadly. “She spent the first night up in her studio but I told her to come back down after we apologized again the next day.”

“Snuggling up like normal or staying on your own side of the bed?”

“Ummm...on our own sides, mostly.”

“Your body forgot you were having a timeout, didn’t it?” the coach smiled again at her bestie. “That’s ok. It happens to all of us. I swear I’m about to kill Dom sometimes, I mean I can’t get any farther away from him in the bed, and then I wake up wrapped around him” she rolled her eyes. “Stupid marriage.” 

They both laughed and had some wine and chocolates. Sydney always came prepared with the good stuff. 

“Getting dressed in front of each other or changing in the bathroom?”

“Mostly the bathroom” Ali answered sheepishly. It was so stupid, but it was something she had done during all of their big fights. She felt exposed and raw so she changed in the bathroom. Ashlyn had started doing it too on the few occasions that they had a fight this big. “I know it’s dumb.”

“Are we avoiding each other during the day or just not looking for each other?” she continued to try and assess the timeout conditions. “Are we kissing hello and goodbye and good morning and good night or are we keeping to ourselves?”

“Mostly keeping to ourselves” the brunette’s voice was sad and small, despite feeling better sharing her problems with Sydney. “We say good morning and good night but we’re just...keeping our distance. I hate it.”

“She hates it too. Don’t forget that.”

“So why can’t we just...fix it?” Ali asked, exasperated and tired.

“You will. You both just need some more time” Sydney squeezed her best friend’s shoulder with her arm across the back of the couch. “You’ll see her in NC and you guys’ll talk and remember how crazy you are about each other, hell, you’ll probably keep the whole hotel up having sex on Tuesday night” she laughed. “After 3 weeks we’ll probably hear you all the way up here!” 

Ali laughed too, but the coach saw the guilty look on her face and raised both her eyebrows up high as the brunette blushed.

“What?! What happened to keeping your distance?! You lying sack...” she laughed and shook her head.

“No, it wasn’t like that” Ali spoke fast, trying to explain how she and Ashlyn had had sex but hadn’t really meant to. “Jules and Neil came over for dinner last weekend, Sunday night after Meg’s game at Northeastern. We had drinks and played Cards Against Humanity after the kids went to bed...”

“Oh you always drink too much when you play that game” Sydney giggled.

“I know” Ali groaned and shook her head with regret. “I play better when I have some alcohol in me.”

“Ok, keep going” the coach nodded expectantly.

“Well, it had been two weeks by then, and we weren’t mad at each other so much as just sad and hurt” Ali explained as she started to blush again. “And Hannah was at the game...”

“Ooooh, you got jealous didn’t you?!” Sydney cackled and slapped her own thigh. “Kriegs don’t play when someone’s messing with her woman!”

“Oh stop” Ali chuckled and shook her head, but a small smile confirmed everything for the coach. “Fine, ok? Yes, Hannah was there and I don’t know...I don’t like it, alright? Is that what you want to hear?”

“You mean the truth? Hell yes, that’s what I want to hear” the coach got more serious, sensing Ali was really upset about it. “I’d be jealous too boo. If that makes you feel any better about it.”

“You would?”

“Absolutely” Sydney nodded sincerely and patted Ali’s leg. “She’s at every game, so that’s...what?...” she tried to count the number of games BC had played so far that Fall but Ali interrupted her almost immediately.

“5 games in August, all of them up here; and then 6 games so far this month with 2 more to go after that.”

“Yeah, that’s a lot. And to have so many be up here, where you have to see them together...” the coach sighed and nodded. “I get it. I’d be pissed if it was me.”

“I hate that I get jealous. I always have and I always will. But I can’t fucking help it” Ali shook her head. “I know Ash wouldn’t cheat on me...I mean, I just know she wouldn’t” she lifted her eyes to meet her bestie’s understanding gaze. “But now, when we’re...not great, it just hurts that much more. It’s killing me.”

“And I suppose Hannah’s down at the Duke game tonight too, isn’t she?”

“Of course she is. And I don’t blame her for it. She’s got the time and the money and she wants to support Meg. How can I be mad at that? It’s great for Meg.”

“But it sucks for you. And Ash probably doesn’t even see it, does she?”

“No” Ali shook her head and pulled on her fingers in her lap. “I haven’t said anything to her yet.”

“What about last year? Did it bother you last year too?”

“Not really, no” Ali frowned. “But like you said, we were in some magical place last year” she chuckled and sighed.

“See, you think I’m crazy but it’s true. The universe gave you two last year to help you get through Emily’s crap. I told you” she grinned at the brunette. “And maybe this year’s just got some leftover mess, you know, to balance it out a little bit.”

“Yeah, well, thanks for nothing” Ali whined.

“So what happened last weekend? You’re not getting off the hook by distracting me with this whole jealous thing” she quirked her eyebrow at the brunette.

“Ugh, ok” Ali blushed some more. “Well, I’d had too much wine and Ash had been drinking whiskey...”

“Ok, so you both had your go-to beverages for getting down, got it.”

Ali rolled her eyes at the woman who knew her so well. She hadn’t realized how much she needed this girls’ night with her bestie, but now that they were in the middle of it Ali felt better about almost everything.

“Anyway, the Donaldsons went home and it was late and I was tired...”

“And drunk? Or just really buzzed?”

“I was a little drunk, I won’t lie” the brunette giggled. “So was Ash” she shrugged.

“And...”

“And we got ready for bed and she got changed right in front of me and I felt like I would die if I didn’t have her, right that minute” she paused and bit her bottom lip as she fought with herself over how much detail to go into. “And then, before either of us knew what was happening, we started kissing and it felt so good Syd. God, I missed her so much.” Ali sighed again, but this time it was mixed with happiness as she thought back to their quick and dirty encounter the week before. “And then we just had sex” she shrugged.

“Good sex or drunk sex or bad drunk sex?”

“It wasn’t that good” the brunette looked down self-consciously. “It was fast and we got each other off but that was it. Nothing special, we didn’t talk or anything” she sighed again, sadder now. “And then when we woke up in the morning...we both rolled away like nothing had happened.”

“Ouch.”

“I felt like I had pushed her into it, I felt guilty” she admitted softly.

“And how did she feel?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh my God. You guys...” Sydney groaned in frustration. “It’s like when you were ‘just friends’ in the beginning. Everything was there for you, all spelled out and all you had to do was take the first step. And neither one of you could do it!”

“Well, it was Monday morning and we didn’t really have time to get into a whole thing...”

“I know, I get it, but you should have talked about it after you got the kids to school. You should have driven right back home and talked to her” Sydney was surprisingly stern, but the brunette couldn’t argue her point.

“You’re right” she sighed again. “God I can be an idiot sometimes.”

“You’re not an idiot. You’re just a chicken.”

It was quiet as they sipped their wine in the peaceful family room.

“She really hurt me” Ali’s voice was so quiet Sydney had to strain to hear the words.

The coach reached over and took her hand, holding it on Ali’s lap for another few minutes of comfortable quiet. 

“Do you think I make the people around me crazy?” Ali asked, even quieter than before.

Sydney squeezed her hand hard and looked her right in the eye.

“You listen to me now Alibaba. This is important” she waited for the brunette to nod her sad face. “You do not make anybody crazy. You do the opposite. You are the calm one, the steady one, the dependable one in everybody’s life. Think about all of the friends and family who love you. There’s a shit ton of them and they would all do anything in the world for you because you are always there for them. You’re always good and kind to the people around you” she took a beat and the sad look on Ali’s face made her heart ache. “Do you hear me?”

“Yeah.”

“I think, if you look at it another way, you draw people to you who need someone like you in their life, in their corner. People like Emily.”

Ali’s head snapped up in surprise.

“I know you Alexandra Blaire Krieger. I know that’s been bothering you ever since Ashlyn said it. She probably meant herself, but you thought of Emily and blamed yourself all over again for everything that crazy bitch did. Didn’t you?”

Ali didn’t reply. Instead she started to cry. Silent tears fell down her cheeks as Sydney pulled her into a tight hug.

“She didn’t mean it that way boo. She never thought of Emily, I’m sure she didn’t. She was worried about Drew and just said dumb things...”

“And I accused her of making him crazy” Ali gasped out.

“Yeah, so not your best moment, either of you. But it’s ok” Sydney soothed, rubbing her best friend’s back as they continued to hug. “You’ll talk to her on Tuesday. You’ll tell her why this hurts so much. And then you guys’ll make up and remember how much you love each other and it’ll all be ok. Ok?”

“Yeah” Ali sniffled, trying to get control of her tears. “God Syd, I hope so.”


	31. I Didn't Mean It

When Ali arrived in Chapel Hill, NC Tuesday afternoon she was hopeful that she and her wife could get things back on track between them. Three-1/2 weeks had been long enough for the limbo period and she was ready for it to end. She hoped anyway. She was still hurt. And she was sure Ashlyn was too. But she was ready to get back to their normal life – they could both nurse their wounds together and stop living like first-year roommates. The Golf Tournament trip this year was the shortest one yet for the brunette. Two years ago she and Ashlyn had enjoyed 4 days and 3 nights in Chapel Hill, not to mention their first real foray into sexy roleplay. Last year had been more hectic with Ali helping her wife get to as many of Meg’s freshman year soccer games as possible. The brunette had flown down on Tuesday evening for the cocktail hour and informal dinner, then flown home Thursday morning after the golf tournament and official dinner on Wednesday. Ashlyn had stayed an extra day and driven up to Virginia for Meg’s Friday night game before coming home on Saturday. It had been a shorter and more business-like trip last year, but they had still had fun and, more importantly, had amazing sex without having their children in the same building.

This year Ali expected things to go like last year, except maybe with just a little bit of make-up sex instead. She knew Ashlyn had a busy schedule while she was in Chapel Hill because she had booked a lot of the meetings for her wife herself. And she knew Ashlyn would be spending time with her college friends as well. Still, the brunette was hopeful. She thought she and her wife could talk after the informal dinner Tuesday night. She and Ashlyn had texted during the three days the keeper had been in NC ahead of the golf tournament. But it had been primarily kid-based or work-based as Ashlyn made the most of her time at her alma mater. The keeper still felt weird about asking people she knew to join K-H or even to recommend K-H, but she had gotten better about doing it. The mini Tarheel reunion was in full effect again this week with many of Ashlyn’s closest friends flying in a day early so they could all get together. Tobin Heath and Whitney Flanagan had come solo, leaving spouses and children behind for various different reasons. When they saw the state Ashlyn was in they were very glad the plans had worked out that way.

The three friends were staying with Heather O’Reilly and her husband Dave. Tobin and Whitney would be staying there through the golf tournament and Ashlyn had already been there since Saturday night after Meg’s game. The keeper was going to meet Ali at their hotel Tuesday afternoon for the rest of her stay. On Sunday HAO had tried her best to find out what was troubling her friend, but Ashlyn wasn’t ready to talk about it. Instead they spent the day visiting their favorite places in Chapel Hill and then went out to dinner with Dave and some other friends who still lived in the area. The keeper tried hard not to think about her distant wife. On Monday afternoon Tobin and Whitney arrived, among a handful of other friends and classmates like Allie Long, Meghan Klingenburg, and Yael Averbuch. Ashlyn had work obligations and meetings both Monday and Tuesday mornings but she had left the afternoons free for her friends on Monday and Tuesday. 

The keeper’s façade began to crack Monday evening and, in an attempt to strengthen her resolve not to burden everyone with her latest drama, she drank much more than she normally would have, even with her college buddies all around her. By the time Whitney and Tobin got her back to Heather’s house, with assistance from both Heather and Yael, it was obvious to all four women that something was really wrong in Ashlyn’s world. They sat up with her and made sure she drank lots of water and took some advil to help ward off the hangover she was surely going to have the next day. After about an hour or so, Heather and Whitney conferred and they all went to their shared beds. Tobin and Yael shared one guestroom and Ashlyn and Whitney shared the other. As so often was the case, the job of handling Ashlyn and her moods fell to Whitney. The other three friends would be there if she needed them, but they all knew Ashlyn would be most likely to open up one on one with Whitney. 

Once they were both tucked into the queen-sized bed, the lawyer spoke carefully to her best friend, her heart breaking to see her so distraught.

“You know it’s going to be ok, right? It’s you and Ali, it’s going to be ok” she tried to reassure the keeper. The two besties had already talked a few times about the fight since it had taken place, but Ashlyn hadn’t given the lawyer all of the unseemly details. “One of you is just going to have to step up and start talking. Once you do that...”

“I’m not doing it” Ashlyn interrupted, sounding less inebriated than she had when they had arrived at Heather’s house almost 2 hours earlier. “I can’t” she shook her head and looked terrified. “I really fucked up this time Whit.”

“You mean more than I already know about?” she tried to clarify without sounding like a bitch but it was impossible and she cringed when she heard her own words. Ashlyn was so distracted by the panic that had started to take over at the thought of talking to her wife that she didn’t even notice.

“Yeah. It was bad. I really hurt her” she sobbed the last few words as the tears started to fall. She put both hands over her face as she lay flat on her back, trying not to completely fall apart. “Fuck...”

“Hey, hey...” Whitney rolled onto her side and put her hand on the keeper’s bicep, squeezing gently and leaving it there. She propped her head up on her hand and frowned at her disconsolate friend. “Listen, Ash...listen...” she waited for the keeper to calm down. “I don’t care what either of you said – you love her. She loves you. There’s no way whatever happened is going to be something you two can’t work out. Do you hear me?”

Ashlyn took a deep breath as her tears slowed and finally stopped. She took another big breath and exhaled loudly as she scrubbed her face with both big hands.

“Yeah, I hear you” she turned her red blotchy face to look at her patient and kind friend. “I don’t know if you’re right this time, but I hear you.”

“Why do you say that Ash?” Whitney tilted her head, genuinely confused by why Ashlyn was making this fight seem so much worse than any of their others had been. “You don’t really think that, do you?”

The keeper didn’t say anything for a long minute. She rested her arms across her stomach, happy Whitney’s hand was still on her arm. She was tired of feeling alone. Even in a crowd of people like she had been most of the afternoon and evening, she felt lost and alone when things weren’t right with her wife.

“I...I told her she made the people around her crazy” she finally admitted, voice barely above a whisper. “I blamed her for whatever’s going on with Drew” she snuck a quick look at the lawyer, afraid of the disappointment she was sure to find there. “And my bullshit too” she closed her eyes, wishing the darkness there could make the messy situation go away. 

“Wow, umm...” Whitney stammered, unsure what to say at first. “Yeah that probably hurt a lot” she nodded slowly as her mind raced to find something comforting or encouraging to say. “But Ali’s smart. She knows you didn’t mean it...” she glanced at Ashlyn. “You didn’t mean it, did you?”

“No, God no” the keeper shook her head and gave Whitney a horrified look. “Drew’s not crazy anyway, he’s just confused” she sighed heavily. “And I was crazy before I ever met her” she chuckled and rolled her eyes. “I was mad. She made me really mad and I just...I just said the first thing that popped into my head. Oh God Whit, you should have seen her face. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get it out of my head.”

“What did she say that made you so mad?”

Ashlyn looked shyly at the lawyer, hesitating for a second, not wanting to betray her wife’s confidence. But Whitney knew the two of them better than anybody. She knew them as a couple better than anybody but Dr. Mattie Olsen. Whitney had lived with them in the big old house and she worked closely with both of them every single day. 

“You don’t have to tell me...”

“No, it’s ok. You won’t judge her for it. You know she didn’t mean it either” the keeper sighed again but this time it was more resigned. “She said Drew’s...struggles...were from me. That he got them from me.”

“She did not” Whitney’s mouth fell open at the revelation, even though she had told herself not to react no matter what her best friend said. 

“She didn’t mean it though.”

They were quiet again as the lawyer processed the hurtful words both women had thrown at each other. No wonder they were still walking on eggshells almost a month later. Damn.

“If you’re so sure that she didn’t mean it, then why don’t you think she knows the same thing about what you said?”

Ashlyn considered the logic and slowly nodded.

“I also said Drew wasn’t my kid” she closed her eyes, still not sure how those words had ever even formed in her brain, forget about made their way through her lips.

“Oooh” Whitney winced and patted the keeper’s arm. “Well, that’s just about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say, and I’ve heard a LOT of dumb things come out of your mouth.”

“I know” Ashlyn shook her head sadly. “I know.”

“Well, if Ali believes that one, then you’ve got bigger problems than you think” Whitney chuckled and groaned at the absurdity of the idea. 

Anybody that knew Ashlyn knew how much she loved all of her children. It had never been in doubt and it was almost laughable that the issue was even up for debate. She shared a meaningful look with her best friend, relieved to see some calm and ease returning to Ashlyn’s face. Without exchanging words, the keeper let Whitney know how much the talk had helped her, how much her friendship had helped her. The lawyer blinked back her heartfelt response and smiled again. 

“Will you two idiots just talk, please? Some of us need our beauty sleep” she gave Ashlyn a punch in the arm and flopped back down into bed, pulling up the covers and rolling onto her back.

“I know, I know” Ashlyn finally smiled, just a bit. “Thanks bestie, for putting up with me. I love you” she pulled the covers up to her chin and sighed again, exhausted. 

“I love you too, now go to sleep.”

//

Ashlyn and her hangover dragged themselves to her morning appointments on Tuesday. By the time she finished the meeting with the seniors on the UNC women’s soccer team, it was already 12:15pm and she was feeling better. She didn’t feel great, but she felt like a human being again and her head wasn’t pounding any more. Ali’s flight was scheduled to land at 1:05pm. The plan was for the two women to meet at the hotel later in the afternoon so they could check in and get settled before heading to the cocktail hour and informal dinner. Ashlyn hated that plan all of a sudden. All she wanted to do, even though the thought of talking to Ali about their mess made her sick to her stomach with anxiety, was drive to the airport and pick her beautiful brunette up. They used to make time to do that for each other, usually it was Ali making the drive to Logan airport earlier in their relationship. It was one of the sweetest gestures they made for each other, but they had stopped doing it as soon as they had kids. It just wasn’t worth the ordeal of driving with babies in the car. Ashlyn, and occasionally Ali, would hire a car to drive them or pick them up. That Tuesday afternoon it was the only thing on Ashlyn’s mind as she started to jog to her rental car after her last meeting.

She was cutting it close, and the only reason the keeper made it to the Raleigh-Durham International Airport before missing Ali was because of light traffic in the middle of the day. Skipping lunch had never felt better. Not only was Ashlyn not sure her stomach was ready for lunch after her hangover, but she was nervous as hell to see her wife. She hoped the lack of protein wouldn’t make this impromptu meeting any harder. She parked as quickly as she could, splurging for the overpriced Premiere parking area right across from the terminal so she could run right in and start looking for her wife. She looked at the big clock inside Terminal 1. 12:55pm. She had 10 minutes to spare, or did she? After checking the arrivals monitors and confirming that she did have a few minutes, the keeper moved quickly towards the shops. She wished she knew for sure whether or not Ali had checked a bag. She didn’t want to stand at the baggage claim area if the brunette wasn’t going to be there. 

When Ali stepped off the jetway she made a b-line for the restroom, pulling her carry-on behind her and telling her full bladder to hold on for just another few seconds. She checked her make-up in the mirror after washing her hands and sighed. She didn’t love the woman looking back at her. But she couldn’t go back and change what had happened. She couldn’t take back the words she had said. All she could do was go forward and hope Ashlyn could find it in her heart to forgive her. Why was she so fucking nervous? She suddenly wished she had worn something nicer than jeans, tall boots, and a nice flannel over a t-shirt. Oh well. She checked her phone and was pleased to find 3 texts from her wife.

Allstar: Just finished the morning meetings. See you at the hotel.  
Allstar: You’re still coming, right?  
Allstar: Hope your flight is going well. See you soon. Love you.

It was the most she had texted her in weeks. And the ‘Love you’ at the end...that felt so good. They often used Xxs and kissy emojis instead of writing the words out. And they hadn’t bothered with I love yous since the fight anyway. She smiled and typed a quick reply as she stepped to the side, out of the way.

Ali: Just landed. Made it. :)  
Ali: Have to get my bag and find the driver, then I’ll see you later this afternoon.  
Ali: Love you too.

The brunette grinned and put her phone away, taking a deep breath to settle herself. She had butterflies in her stomach at the thought of seeing Ashlyn. She looked behind her at the shop she had stopped in front of and pulled her carry-on inside.

The keeper pumped her fist when she read her wife’s texts. Not only did she say she loved her too, but she answered the question about baggage claim. Ashlyn made her way over to the baggage claim area to wait, as patiently as she could. She got more nervous with every passing minute. Finally, after some of the longest 15 minutes of her life, she spotted her favorite brunette head at the top of the escalator. She’d been watching both the elevator and the escalator and getting frustrated because a whole slew of arriving passengers had already come down to wait for their luggage. Ashlyn smoothed the front of her untucked, button-up shirt and made sure the collar of both the shirt and her blazer were folded neatly and in place. She wished she looked better than she was sure she did – she hadn’t eaten anything yet and she had bags under her eyes from her late, rough night. She never took her eyes off of Ali while she made her final adjustments to her outfit and the brunette took a long time spotting her. But after a moment of scanning the area below her, Ali finally saw the person she was yearning for. Her face jumped to a grin and she waved as soon as she saw her keeper. Ashlyn returned the wave and felt her own face smile too. It only took another minute for them to be standing in front of one another, surrounded by other passengers and their people.

“Hi” Ali said shyly, stopping just short of her wife, unsure of whether or not she should hug her. Ashlyn’s hand was behind her back and it didn’t look like she would welcome one.

“Hi” the keeper repeated, unable to keep the grin, complete with dimple, from her face any longer. She was disappointed that Ali hadn’t hugged her but she herself wasn’t sure what the appropriate greeting should be at that moment. It was all very confusing. But the brunette was there. That was all that mattered. “You made it.”

They looked at each other expectantly, both wanting to say something but succumbing to shyness and apprehension. Instead, the loud alarm went off at the baggage carousel, telling everybody that the luggage was starting to come in, ruining the moment. They stood next to each other, shoulders not quite touching, and waited for Ali’s bag. They made polite conversation to kill the 15 minutes it took for the brunette’s suitcase to appear. Ashlyn asked about the flight. Ali asked about HAO and the other Tarheels. Ashlyn gave a brief rundown of her two morning meetings. Ali pulled a tiny, smooth stone out of her purse and handed it to her wife.

“Lily wanted me to bring you this. She said you’d know why” the brunette shrugged and felt the warmth run up her arm from where her hand touched Ashlyn’s for a second as she transferred the grey rock.

“Ummm...I have no idea what this is or what I’m supposed to do with it” the keeper chuckled after inspecting the stone for a few seconds. “But I know enough not to lose it” she rolled her eyes, put the stone in her pocket, and they both laughed.

When Ali moved forward to pull her suitcase off of the rotating conveyer belt, Ashlyn beat her to it. She leaned over and lifted the bag up with her one free hand, setting it at her wife’s feet and hearing Ali giggle.

“What’s funny?”

“Nothing” Ali shook her head, not wanting to upset her keeper or jeopardize the nicest feelings they’d shared for weeks. “It’s just...is that for me?” she pointed at the flower Ashlyn was still holding in her hand, behind her back.

The keeper blushed and shook her head, embarrassed at her blunder.

“Oh, yeah...sorry, I kind of forgot...” she looked up sheepishly into amber eyes, lighter than usual that afternoon in North Carolina. “Here” she held out the beautiful Gerbera daisy with a bashful smile.

Ali felt her whole face turn into a nose-wrinkling grin, touched by the sweetness and authenticity of the moment. It was also nice to know that her wife was nervous too.

“Thank you” she took the pretty purple flower and brought it to her nose for a deep whiff. “Mmmmm...so beautiful.”

Ashlyn grabbed at the back of her neck with her now free hand and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. She had told herself she wasn’t going to apologize for the flower. She was just going to let it be a beautiful flower for her beautiful wife and not sully the moment with disappointing substitutions. But she couldn’t help herself.

“It’s supposed to be purple hyacinth” she spoke quickly, anxious words spilling out the explanation. “But they didn’t have it here...and I...I didn’t think far enough ahead to do this right and I’m sorry” she dropped her eyes and muttered something under her breath that Ali couldn’t hear.

“Ash, it’s beautiful. I love it” the brunette cocked her head to the side a bit, smiling when she caught her wife’s eye. “It’s really sweet of you. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome” the shy smile was back on the blonde’s face again and they shared a hesitant smile.

Another traveler moved quickly for his bag on the carousel and banged into Ali hard from behind, knocking her off balance. Ashlyn reached out and steadied her with both hands on her biceps.

“Hey! Watch it!” the keeper chastised the rude man and the two glared at each other for a quick second before he turned away and moved toward the airport exit. “Are you ok?” she turned her attention to the brunette.

“I’m fine” Ali nodded and patted her wife’s elbow. “We should go...”

“Yeah, yeah, absolutely” Ashlyn nodded in return, releasing her wife and reaching for the suitcase. “I’m parked right across the street, let’s go.”

Ali called the car service to cancel her ride, feeling bad about making the driver waste a trip and his or her time. She teased Ashlyn about the front row premium parking, knowing from previous experience that her wife hated to pay extra for those types of things. A little walk never hurt anybody and if it saved you money too? Then even better. When the keeper couldn’t get the parking ticket into the exit machine after the third try, Ali realized something was up.

“Have you eaten lunch yet?”

“Umm, no, not yet” Ashlyn replied as she finally got the gate to go up so she could drive the rental car through it. “Stupid machine.”

“You should eat, what time are you meeting the girls this afternoon?”

“Oh, ummm...” the blonde was nervous again, feeling like she had overstepped or expected too much too quickly. “I told them I’d see them at the cocktail hour” she explained, adding quickly “but if you have plans I can drive you wherever...”

“I don’t have any plans” Ali cut Ashlyn’s nervous rambling off. “Not until the cocktail hour. Jen wants me to talk to a few people” she explained, referring to Jen Tucker, Whitney and Ashlyn’s college friend who still worked as the manager of the rest of the agents for Knight-Harris. “She won’t be here until then” the brunette shrugged.

“Oh, ok” Ashlyn exhaled and relaxed a bit.

“Do you want to stop for a late lunch?” Ali asked hesitantly. She had the same fears her wife did about expecting too much from the other after weeks of barely interacting. “I mean, we don’t have to...”

“No, no” Ashlyn answered immediately, flashing a grateful smile at her wife. “That sounds really good.” 

They stopped at the keeper’s favorite sandwich shop on their way to the hotel. It was the same place where they had eaten lunch two years earlier, during their roleplay afternoon. Ali pushed those thoughts aside. Roleplay was all about trust and the couple was not currently in a very trusting place in their relationship. The brunette felt a stab of fear in her chest as she processed that thought.

“So, is there a story or meaning behind the purple hyacinth?” she asked as she watched her keeper inhale her sandwich. Ali had only eaten a quarter of her own and Ashlyn was almost finished with hers. “For the record though, I love the Gerbera daisy.”

“MmmHmm...” the keeper mumbled and nodded. She held up one finger as she chewed, swallowed, and took a drink of her iced tea. “Both. The purple hyacinth means...” she paused, suddenly afraid to say the words. “It means ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘please forgive me’” she swallowed as she studied Ali’s face across the table. 

The brunette lowered her eyes, chewing a mouthful of food, as her eyes went wide in surprise. There it was. No pussyfooting around the issue anymore. 

“The story is pretty cool too” Ashlyn rambled on. She had been nervous to begin with but when she saw how anxious Ali was too...it freaked her out. Maybe Ali wouldn’t be able to forgive her after all. “Hyacinth was the name of a guy that both Apollo and Zephyr loved. Zephyr got jealous because he was sure Hyacinth loved Apollo more, so he decided to play a trick on Hyacinth. Hyacinth and Apollo were playing discus and Zephyr caused a strong wind to blow the discus back, hitting Hyacinth in the head and killing him instantly. They say that a hyacinth flower grew out of his spilled blood. Apollo cried over his lost love and those tears turned the flower purple. Purple hyacinth represents apology and begging for forgiveness because both Zephyr and Apollo grieved so much for him and felt so guilty about what happened to him. It was an accident that nobody wanted to happen. Even Zephyr only meant to cause a little playful trouble. And they both lost the one they loved instead.”

“That’s a good story” Ali nodded, thinking about everything her wife had said. “Begging for forgiveness is something I can get on board with right about now” she spoke quietly and looked down again.

The waitress came over and brought the check, again interrupting what might have been another moment of truth between the two women. Ashlyn looked up at the older woman and smiled as she handed her a credit card. Ali took advantage of the break to take another bite of her sandwich and pull a small plastic bag out of her purse with her other hand.

“I’m sorry it’s not wrapped or anything...” she spoke with her mouth full as the keeper focused on the clear plastic bag on the table between them. “And there’s no educational story to go with it” she shrugged, wishing she had thought farther ahead and brought her wife something more meaningful. “But I saw it and thought of you...” she paused for a second. “And of our time together down here.”

Ashlyn reached into the bag and lifted out a shot glass, frowning in confusion as she held it up between them to inspect it.

“Thank you” she said politely and then looked up when Ali laughed at her. “What?”

“You’re so sweet” Ali shook her head and grinned at her kind wife. “I got that for you, not just to add to my collection” she took the last bite of sandwich and watched Ashlyn turn the Chapel Hill shot glass around in her long fingers. It wasn’t a UNC shot glass – Ali wouldn’t be caught dead buying that. It said ‘Chapel Hill, NC’ on one side and had a picture of the Old Well on the other. She took pity on the blonde who appeared stumped by the gift. “The first time you went away, once we got together, you came home and brought me a t-shirt from Satellite Beach...”

“Oh yeah” Ashlyn smiled at the memory. “I remember that, Carissa Moore on her ‘Lost’ board. I loved that t-shirt.”

“So did I” Ali blinked back as she finished chewing. “But you also brought me a shot glass for my collection. And you were smart enough to make sure it wasn’t UNC” she raised her eyebrows and chuckled. 

“Generic old North Carolina shot glass for my new girlfriend” the keeper beamed.

“I don’t know” Ali shrugged, second-guessing her choice of gift, “I just thought giving you this one was kind of...bringing things full-circle. I don’t know” she rolled her eyes self-consciously and wiped her hands and mouth on her napkin. “It’s silly.”

“No, I love it” Ashlyn reached across the table and put her hand on Ali’s, stilling it and giving it a gentle squeeze. “And the Old Well is a nice touch” she added, referencing the couple’s preferred meeting spot whenever they were visiting the area, as their eyes met. “I love it.”

For the first time that afternoon they both held the gaze, neither one ducking their head or dropping their eyes in embarrassment or apprehension. Ali moved her hand so she was holding Ashlyn’s and they interlocked their fingers and stared meaningfully into each other’s eyes for a long minute.

“You’re all set ladies” the waitress with perfect timing returned, setting the bill and Ashlyn’s credit card down on the table with a pen and a smile. “Thank you for coming in. Have a great afternoon.”

When they finally got to their hotel room, after a quiet ride from the sandwich shop and a brief wait in the lobby, it was already 3:15pm. They situated their suitcases and unpacked what they needed to for the evening ahead. They didn’t do it on purpose, but they both began busying themselves with things that easily could have waited for later or even the next day. Ashlyn went into the bathroom and filled her iced tea bottle with water, then placed the Gerbera daisy in it and set it on the desk where it would be easy to enjoy. Ali called her dad to check on the kids and let him know she had arrived safely. Both women got texts from their best friends, asking for an update on things. And more specifically, asking if they had talked to their wife yet. Ali and Ashlyn had to be at the cocktail hour at 6pm which gave them about 2-1/2 hours to talk and get changed and ready for their evening out.

“Listen, I need to tell you...”  
“Can we talk about things...”

They both spoke at the same time as they stood on either side of the queen-sized bed in the hotel room. They chuckled in a mixture of relief and nerves, smiling anxiously as they watched one another carefully.

“Yeah, let’s talk, can we?” Ashlyn grabbed at the back of her neck and shifted on her feet in her standard ‘awkward and nervous’ posture. She had removed her blazer as soon as they got into the room but still looked good in her crisp shirt.

“Yes, please” Ali knelt on the edge of the bed and sat back on her heels, nervously playing with her hands in her lap. Her mouth was suddenly very dry. “I’d like that.”

There was an agonizing pause of two full minutes, each second seeming to last an eternity all on its own.

“Look, I don’t know the right way to do this” Ashlyn blurted out after her inner debate devolved into gridlock. “So I’m just gonna say this before I...before I chicken out” she gave her wife an anxious look before barreling on. She was pacing up and down her side of the bed, one hand still up at the back of her neck. “I’m sorry Al. I know I hurt you...a lot” she glanced quickly at the brunette and saw that she was listening attentively with a pensive look on her face. Was that good or bad? Shit! Just keep going! “And I never meant it. I shouldn’t have said it. I was mad and I just...I just said stupid shit because I’m an idiot and didn’t know what else to do.” She paused for breath but then continued when she didn’t hear anything from Ali. “I’d give anything to take it back, take all those dumb, untrue words back. But I can’t. All I can do is tell you how sorry I am. Tell you from the bottom of my heart how much I didn’t mean any of them...” she choked as her emotions swelled. “And hope you can forgive me. God, fuck...I hope you can forgive me. I love you so much...”

“Me too, me too, me too” Ali heard herself repeating, louder and louder as her wife’s passionate apology rolled towards completion. As her words got louder she stood up on her knees and walked to the middle of the bed, barely aware of the movement. “I was such a bitch, such a fucking bitch Ash. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it either. I don’t think that and I didn’t mean to say it...I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m so sorry honey” she felt hot tears stinging her eyes as all of her emotions fought to get out any way they could. “Can you forgive me?”

There was another brief stoppage in the conversation, neither of them moved or even breathed as they pleaded with their eyes. Then, coordinated without even trying, Ashlyn stepped to the edge of the bed, thighs pressed up against the mattress, while Ali closed the distance, still on her knees. They met in a tight embrace, both wishing their arms could have wrapped around the other more than once. They murmured ‘I love yous’ to each other, repeating it over and over as if those three words could fill up some imaginary tank that they had somehow let go bone dry.

Nothing had been accomplished yet though, and they both knew it. They had apologized before, although it hadn’t been quite this desperate. At least now they both knew that the other was ready to try and repair the rift between them. That was new. That was something they could work from.

“Drew’s not crazy” Ali shook her head and spoke as her tears stopped falling and her throat finally opened up again. She pulled back, sitting on her heels again but not letting go of Ashlyn. They held hands, both squeezing tightly to make sure the other knew how much they cared about fixing things. “He’s not crazy” she repeated as her voice got stronger. “But even if he was, it wouldn’t be your fault. Just like it wouldn’t be my fault or...anybody’s fault” she shook her head again and then locked eyes with her wife. “I can’t believe I ever said that and I sure as hell don’t believe it. I swear to God honey...”

“I know” Ashlyn nodded softly and sadly.

“And you’re not crazy either” Ali added, more forcefully than before. “You’re amazing and strong and brave and you’ve done so much good for so many people who really are struggling with some sort of mental illness. I...that’s how I really feel. That’s what I really believe” she spoke earnestly, never taking her eyes off of Ashlyn’s. “I think you’re so good for all of our kids Ashlyn. You’re honest with them and open about your depression and, God, I think that’s just incredible. Our kids are so lucky to have you as their Mama” she shook her head as she finished her emotional speech. “That’s the truth and I know it. Please tell me you know that too?”

Ashlyn didn’t know what to say right away. There were so many thoughts flying around inside her head. It felt wonderful to hear Ali’s words, spoken with such conviction. The keeper felt like she could soar right at that moment. She lifted her wife’s hands up and kissed them, one at a time, as she tried to figure out something to say.

“I...uh...I don’t always know it” she cleared her throat and gave Ali a bashful look. “But when I start to doubt it, I know I can count on you to remind me, to help me believe until I can believe on my own again. You’ve always done that for me. You’ve always had faith in me” she dropped her eyes, “which is why it hurt so much to hear you blame me that night...”

“Oh Ash, I didn’t mean it” Ali stood on her knees again and moved one hand to cup her wife’s sorrowful face. “I just said it because I was scared about Drew. I didn’t know what to do or how to handle the situation and I was terrified...that our son might struggle the same way Kyle did” she sobbed a bit on the last words as she put honest words to one of her deepest, darkest fears. “And, like always, I took it out on you. And I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.”

“I know you are. I know” Ashlyn nodded.

“I said it and knew it was the dumbest thing in the world I could possibly have said as soon as the words left my mouth” the brunette continued. “I didn’t mean it, not even for a second. Just like I know you didn’t mean what you said about Drew not being your son.”

Ashlyn’s body tensed, even though she knew they were going to eventually get around to her words too.

“I didn’t mean it...” the keeper’s face looked stricken, worse even than it had early that morning with her hangover in full effect. “I didn’t mean it Al...”

“I know you didn’t. That’s what I’m saying” Ali tried to get her wife to focus on her instead of getting agitated and too riled up to keep talking. “We both said stupid things that we didn’t mean.”

“That’s right” Ashlyn agreed quickly. “I swear to God Al, I never think that about any of our kids. They’re our kids for Christ’s sake. All of them, equally. I don’t care who carried who or nursed who or any of that crap” her voice was strong and clear for the first time since they had started talking. “I love them all so much...”

“I know you do babe. I know” Ali’s voice was calm and soothing and she let Ashlyn pull her into another hug.

The embrace was slower and steadier, without the panic of the previous hug. They held each other and breathed together, chins over shoulders and hands moving slowly along sides and over backs. Despite the calm that was starting to spread over them, both of their hearts were still racing in their chests. Ashlyn tried to pull back but Ali wouldn’t let her go. The brunette was afraid of what came next – she tried to prolong the moment of acceptance they were enjoying for as long as possible. Ashlyn hadn’t said anything about her other remark from the night of the fight, and that was the one that had cut Ali the deepest.

The keeper tried and failed to pull back one more time, before deciding to say what she needed to say anyway. She would have preferred to look into her favorite whiskey-colored eyes but she could say the words from inside the hug just as well.

“You don’t make people crazy Al” Ashlyn spoke gently but clearly, as if she could read her wife’s mind. She pressed a kiss into the side of Ali’s head. “It’s the opposite. You keep people sane. You always have” the blonde’s voice was slow and deliberate as she tried to make sure Ali truly understood how deeply she believed what she was saying. The brunette clung to her keeper, squeezing harder, and started to cry softly as she listened. “And I don’t think Drew’s crazy either. We know he’s not. He’s just growing up and figuring things out, that’s all” Ashlyn took Ali’s quiet tears and tighter embrace as good signs, and kept going. “And as for me, well, do you remember when we first got together?” she paused. “Do you?”

“MmmHmmm” Ali replied as her tears fell onto Ashlyn’s strong shoulder. 

She felt her keeper’s hands moving across her back and it was the best feeling she’d had in almost a month. She felt safe and loved and cared for. She felt a little bit more like herself and it was mesmerizing. The lovely feelings spread throughout her body until her brain slammed on the breaks. She listened with one ear to Ashlyn talk about how she thought Ali had cured her mild depression the first year they were together. The keeper retold the story of how she went for more than a year without seeing a therapist or going to any sort of group sessions at all, and had held it together because she was with Ali. At the same time, Ali’s inner voice reminded her of how badly her wife’s accusation had hurt her. How destructive and painful those words had been for her. It was clear now though, just as Sydney had suspected, that Ashlyn had only been referring to herself and Drew when she had hurled that barb at her during their fight.

“Are you still with me?” the keeper did manage to pull back that time, frowning at the conflicted look on Ali’s face in front of her. “Don’t you remember any of that? I was convinced that I’d never have to see a shrink again ever, just because you loved me back and we were together. So, you see? You made me sane Al. That’s always the way it’s been with you and me. You’re always where I go to draw strength or courage when I don’t have enough of my own. Whit says my comment about not being Drew’s mom was the dumbest thing she’d ever heard me say, but I think this one has that beat.” She couldn’t read the look on Ali’s face but it wasn’t happy or even on the road to happy, where the keeper thought it should have been. “What’s the matter? Am I messing this up too?”

The look of genuine concern on Ashlyn’s face spurred the brunette to speak up.

“No” she shook her head quickly. “No, you’re doing good. Thank you for saying all of that. Really, it helps a lot” she gave her keeper a small smile.

But Ashlyn could see something in her eyes was still sad and hurt.

“What is it?” she brushed some of the brunette hair over her wife’s shoulder and then some of the tears from her cheeks. “Please tell me, I can tell something’s wrong.”

Ali leaned back and took a deep breath, moving to the middle of the bed and sitting on her butt to give her ankles and knees a break. She stretched her legs out in front of her and wiped the rest of the tears off of her face.

“Come sit with me” she patted the bed next to her and watched as Ashlyn climbed onto the bed.

The keeper surprised Ali by straddling her lap and wrapping her up in another big hug.

“I don’t want to feel far away from you anymore” she stated plainly in a small, tentative voice as she released Ali but stayed right on her lap. She moved back onto her thighs but that was as far away as she was willing to go.

“Me either” the brunette couldn’t help but smile, touched as always by her wife’s honesty and sweetness.

“What is it?” Ashlyn let her hands rest on her wife’s side and hip, happy the flannel was open and untucked. She squeezed lightly and splayed her fingers out and back as she and Ali looked at each other. The brunette’s hands were on her keeper’s thighs, moving slowly up and back. “I can take it Al, whatever it is. Yell at me if you need to. I deserve it...”

“No, Ash, it’s not that” Ali’s face darkened and she frowned.

“Then what is it?”

“At first I thought you meant...something else, something more, when you said that I make the people around me crazy.”

“Huh?” Ashlyn tilted her head as she listened.

“I know you didn’t mean it, I know that now...” she tried to get it out and was frustrated by how long it was taking her to say the words. “But part of the reason that hurt so much” she looked up quickly and saw Ashlyn’s concerned face watching her carefully, “and it hurt...a lot...”

“I know it did” Ashlyn dropped her eyes and shook her head. “I could see it on your face as soon as I said it. I didn’t mean it...”

“I know” Ali’s voice was frustrated, but more at her own inability to spit the words out than at Ashlyn. She sighed and squeezed her wife’s thighs, giving her a small smile. “I know” she nodded. “But the reason it hurt so much was because of Emily...”

“Oh shit...” the keeper groaned and closed her eyes as new levels of remorse and regret surged through her system. She moved to get off of her wife’s lap, sure that the brunette must not be as ready to reconcile as she herself was. Not after this additional wound had been revealed to the blonde.

“No” Ali grabbed her by the hips and held her in place. “Stay.” She gave her another small smile but Ashlyn could still see the sadness in her eyes. 

“Jesus honey, I never even thought of that. I...fuck...” the keeper’s face was red and Ali couldn’t tell if it was embarrassment or anger. Was she mad at Emily or at her? “No wonder your face looked like that. I’m so sorry baby” Ashlyn cupped Ali’s face with one hand and felt relief when the brunette nuzzled into it. “I just wasn’t thinking...”

“It’s not your fault” Ali squeezed her wife’s hips. “That’s on me. I’ve gotta get her out of my brain once and for all – she’s almost gone, I promise...”

“Hey, we’ve both come a long way with that” Ashlyn reassured her. “But she’s gonna come up from time to time, whether we like it or not.”

“You’re right” Ali sighed sadly. “But when I heard you say that, my mind jumped right to her. And it felt like...a low blow I guess” she dropped her eyes, afraid to see any anger or frustration in her wife’s eyes.

“Al” Ashlyn lifted her wife’s head up with a hand under her chin, “we both landed low blows, but that would have been a completely dick thing for me to say. If I had said that, and meant it that way” she raised her eyebrows at the concept, “then I would have been groveling at your feet immediately. I promise you.”

“I believe you” Ali nodded.

Ashlyn took both of her wife’s hands in her own as they searched each other’s eyes for the truth.

“Now. You believe me now, but all this time...God Ali, all this time you thought I meant it that way. Oh baby, no wonder...” Ashlyn pulled her wife into another hug. 

“No wonder I was such a bitch” Ali completed the sentence with a questioning pause at the end.

“No wonder you were so upset” the keeper corrected her and kissed her cheek as she sat up again. “Ugh, why didn’t we talk about this sooner?” she dropped her head in frustration, covering her face with both hands. “When will we ever fucking learn?”

“Hey” Ali said softly, pulling her wife’s hands away from her face. “Somebody really smart told me once that I was gonna fuck up again while we were married...”

“That means I’m the really smart person” Ashlyn joked, half-heartedly.

“And you were right. And I’m gonna fuck up again too. But what I’m trying to get better at is accepting it and learning from it and hopefully not making the same mistake twice” she rolled her eyes. “Forgiving myself isn’t easy. Forgiving you is a lot easier” she smiled at the blonde. “Especially now that I know you weren’t talking about Emily.”

“I forgive you too” Ashlyn replied to the unasked question. 

They were quiet again for a minute or two, idly playing with each other’s hands between them and thinking hard. 

“So, are we ok?” the brunette’s voice quavered but she was still hopeful.

“We both said stupid things in the heat of the moment” Ashlyn spoke seriously, squeezing Ali’s hands in her lap. “We both regret them and the pain they caused. We’ve had a really shitty four weeks to think about it and, umm...,yeah, I think we’re ok.” They shared a hesitant smile. “I love you. That I know for sure.”

“I love you too. And I’ve missed you” Ali leaned up and waited for Ashlyn to meet her lips with a kiss. She didn’t have to wait long, but the kiss was chaste and tentative. At least it was a start.

They both knew that it would take some time for the awkwardness between them to fade and the hurt feelings to finish healing. But the air had been cleared and the pathway established for both of those things to happen. As they laid there together on the bed, just enjoying holding one another after so long without any real physical contact between them, both of their phones dinged with text messages. Instead of having another hour to themselves, Jen wanted them to meet some potential clients before the cocktail hour started. Secretly, both Ali and Ashlyn were slightly relieved to have something to do because they were finding it difficult to know what to do with themselves back at the hotel. They knew they weren’t ready to have sex yet, but laying there together was too tempting. 

By the time they found their seats on the plane for the trip home Thursday morning, the freshly reunited couple had worked through most of the awkwardness, and then some. They had both worked hard and represented K-H well at the cocktail hour, the informal dinner gathering, the golf event itself the next day, and the official dinner afterwards. They spent as much time near each other as possible, knowing that was the best way to get back in sync with one another. They took their time though, spending Tuesday night curled up together but doing nothing but cuddling and sleeping. Wednesday night was when they enjoyed each other’s bodies in a more carnal way. They were both exhausted after the big and busy day on the golf course and the dinner afterwards, but there was no way they were leaving NC without taking advantage of their private, kid-free time. 

“I’m not ready to go home yet” Ali said with a small pout as they buckled into their seats. She leaned into her wife’s shoulder with a wistful sigh.

“Yeah, we really screwed that up” the keeper chuckled as she laced their fingers together. “We should have talked before we got down here. Then we could have had make-up sex the whole time” she whispered and kissed the brunette’s cheek.

“Ugh, stop” Ali closed her eyes as memories of the night before made her blush. “This is going to be the longest flight ever” she whined.

“The absolute worst” Ashlyn agreed with a throaty chuckle. “But...if we get home on time, there’ll be a nice, empty house waiting for us...” she wagged her eyebrows, making Ali giggle and blush some more. “What do you say?”

“Don’t tease me. Don’t jinx us.” Ali quirked an eyebrow at her smirking wife. “And hell yes.”


	32. September on Eggshells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning near the beginning.

Ali and Ashlyn made it back to the big old house at 12:15pm, after their 96-minute flight, 30 minutes at baggage claim, and 60-minute drive to Gloucester. They were tired from their late night and early departure but the thought of having sex again, alone in their own home, spurred them on. Ken and Vicki had stayed at the house, with Bandit, to take care of the kids and Logan for the two nights the moms had both been away, and Ali and Ashlyn were both tremendously appreciative – as always. However, neither woman could hide their disappointment when they saw the elder Kriegers’ car still in the driveway.

After the flight and drive where they had held hands and let their fingers wander more than usual, building up the anticipation between them to peak levels after their sexy night before, both Ali and Ashlyn were dying to run upstairs and get naked together. They had to pick the 3 youngest kids up from Elementary school at 2:30pm and that would give them just about 2 hours to have sex. Or 1-1/2 if they showered afterwards and got themselves cleaned up. They would play that part by ear depending on how things went.

“I’ll get rid of them, you go get ready upstairs” Ali instructed, under her breath, as they put their bags down in the mudroom and greeted the dogs, and then Ken and Vicki.

But it was never that easy, especially not with nice, considerate people in their lives, like Ken and Vicki. Ashlyn went upstairs to ‘lie down’ and Ali fibbed and said the keeper wasn’t feeling great. That caused Vicki to offer their services through the rest of the afternoon to help the brunette wrangle the kids who were bound to be excited to have their moms back home. Ali finally convinced them that she was going to go up and take a quick nap too, then they’d both be good as new and could pick the kids up and carry on with the rest of the afternoon just fine. It was just after 1pm when Ken and Vicki and Bandit backed down the driveway.

“What took so long?!” Ashlyn hissed in a whisper when her brunette finally appeared at the top of the backstairs. 

“Ugh, they’re too nice. That’s the problem” Ali grumbled and then giggled as she took in the sight of her wife standing at the foot of the bed that was now completely stripped to the bare mattress. “What’s going on here?” she asked through the giggle as she started to hurriedly take her clothes off just inside the door to the backstairs. “And they’re gone and I locked the door so you don’t have to whisper, you goof.”

“Well I figured I may as well be productive while I was up here growing old” the keeper teased, explaining how she was changing the bed after her in-laws had used it during their stay. “But you caught me halfway through...”

“There’s no time for that now” Ali decided, still moving quickly as she crawled across the head of the bed towards her closet, completely naked.

Ashlyn almost tripped over the dirty sheets and bedding at her feet as she watched her beautiful wife moving purposefully across their bed.

“Take your clothes off” the brunette chuckled at her distracted wife. “We’ve only got an hour now, with no time for showering...”

The keeper started to strip as she followed her wife’s quick movements. Ali went into her closet and came back out with one of their Throes of Passion sex blankets like the genius that she was, and Ashlyn laughed appreciatively.

“God I love you” she shook her head as she dropped the last bit of clothing onto the floor and moved towards the bottom corner of the bed, near the bathroom. “Hey!” her brain kicked in as the brunette was just about to spread the blanket over the mattress. “Can we do it in the chair? We never do that anymore.”

Ali pursed her lips and then smirked as she tossed the blanket to the blonde, who was closer to the gliding chair which was by the door to the backstairs, between Ashlyn’s side of the bed and the window on that side of the room. They used to use the chair quite a bit, just to spice things up and change up some positions. But it squeaked and they were sure the ear-piercing sound would travel throughout the second floor and wake their children up if they used it in the quiet of the night to have sex in.

“I love that” Ali’s eyes lit up as she made her way back across the bed the same way she had come before, on her hands and knees.

They could both hear Logan whining outside the door to the second-floor hallway but ignored it. They knew she would settle down in a few minutes. Ali had spent some time with she and Bandit downstairs before Ken and Vicki had left. She was proud of her tender-hearted wife for not letting the dog get to her the way they used to at times like this. She knew it wasn’t easy for Ashlyn and she appreciated the effort she put into blocking the pathetic whining out when necessary.

The keeper sprang into action, throwing the big blanket over the comfortable gliding chair, covering the entire seat, both arms and most of the back of the chair with the soft, absorbent blanket. She appreciated the fact that her wife hadn’t spent time choosing any toys for them to use that afternoon. There just wasn’t time for that, no matter how much they both might have enjoyed it. Truthfully, it had been a long month of not touching each other and they were both loving the feel of their own skin and nothing else in between.

“I love you” Ashlyn met her wife between the chair and the bed with a kiss that they both got lost in. She barely got the words out before Ali’s mouth devoured her own and they both groaned at the incredible sensation of their lips moving together again.

“I love you too” the brunette gasped when they broke to breathe, never letting go of each other with their hands. “I missed you so much...so fucking much...” she moaned as Ashlyn aggressively took her lips again.

The keeper pulled her wife backwards the short two steps to the gliding chair while they continued to kiss. As soon as she felt the back of her legs touch it, she sat down and guided Ali onto her lap, rotating the brunette’s body with her strong arms.

“Oh!” Ali yelped in surprise, turned on even more by Ashlyn’s strength and assertiveness. It wasn’t very often that the keeper played the dominant part, but it was incredibly hot whenever she did. “Fuck, babe, God you’re so sexy...” Ali purred as she let her wife move her into the position she wanted.

“You’re the sexy one” Ashlyn husked out, her mounting desire obvious. “So fucking hot Al. Fuck...” she groaned as she let her hands grab at her wife’s warm, inviting body. “I love you...” 

Ashlyn sat in the chair as she normally would, both feet on the ground in front of her and her back against the back of the comfortable chair. Everything about the chair was soft and inviting and it had been used by both moms to feed all of their babies at one point or another. They still used it to read with their kids from time to time or even by themselves. The arms were cushioned and padded and the whole thing was like an easy chair that rocked. The keeper had situated her wife across her lap so that Ali was almost sideways, but not quite. Her back rested against the arm of the chair by the window, with the blind and curtains drawn, but she was slumped down so it was just her shoulders that rested on the arm of the chair. Ashlyn reached her right arm around Ali’s neck, snuggling her close to her chest and kissing her soundly as they started to move together. The keeper loved this position, they both did, because she could reach down to play with Ali’s right breast with that hand around her neck. She could kiss her at the same time she tugged on her nipple and used her left hand between her legs. And their bodies were touching everywhere. Soft, warm skin could be felt everywhere – on Ashlyn’s lap, against her chest, in her arms, under her fingers... She basically cradled Ali in her arms and across her lap, using the arm of the chair for a little extra support. The brunette’s body was wonderfully exposed like that and Ashlyn could use her left hand anywhere she wanted, from reaching down to her wife’s knees, or her sensitive inner thighs, all the way up to cupping her cheek and holding her head as they made out. Ali’s whole beautiful form was right at her fingertips and Ashlyn made good use of the easy access.

Ali put her left arm around her keeper’s back, kneading up and down her spine in the soft space between it and the chair as Ashlyn’s body moved with hers. She moved her right hand from the keeper’s face down her sexy neck and over her strong shoulder towards her left arm that was already finding out just how wet the brunette really was. Neither of them noticed the loud squeaking of the chair after a minute or two. Ali moaned and then hummed into her wife’s mouth as Ashlyn’s nimble fingers trailed up and down through her soaking wet folds.

“Mmmmm...Ash...please don’t tease me” she begged, mumbling against her wife’s hungry lips.

They both heard Logan drop her big body to the floor in the hall, just outside the door, with an annoyed groan. But just like the squeaking of the chair – nothing was going to distract them from their mission.

“I won’t...” the keeper replied, her voice thick with want. “God, I love holding you like this...in my arms...you feel so fucking good...”

Ali moaned when she felt her wife’s long fingers enter her aching pussy. How the hell had she survived four weeks...two weeks if you counted the sterile, basic awkward sex they had while drunk – which Ali did not want to count, without feeling Ashlyn’s fingers inside her? Without having Ashlyn fuck her like this? Everything felt good – the way her keeper’s breast was pressed up against her own where their bodies were held tightly together, the way her keeper’s scratchy short hairs tickled the back of her ass and lower back in this position, the way her keeper’s other hand teased and tugged on her excited nipple, the way her keeper’s mouth never stopped kissing hers and never moved more than an inch away from her lips. 

Ali groaned loudly when she felt Ashlyn’s thumb start to tease her clit, her fingers still deep inside the brunette’s pussy. Fuck, that felt amazing and Ali arched her back into it. She let her right hand find Ashlyn’s left breast and rolled the back of her fingers across the pretty pink nipple over and over again until it was stiff and hard. She added a pinch every third or fourth roll, squeezing the stiff pink bud between the knuckles of two fingers and loving the goosebumps that appeared across her wife’s chest as a result. Ali felt enveloped by her wife, as if she was wrapped up in a blanket of pleasure. And that pleasure kept growing and growing as they continued to move together. They were both a little sweaty and they were both moaning and groaning and grunting as their bodies worked together to bring Ali her release.

“My clit...” the brunette panted out as she moved her own hand down to help. “Shit...oh God...” she whined as her body undulated beneath her wife’s talented hands.

Ashlyn had gone from thrusting her fingers into the brunette’s pulsing core to squeezing her thumb and fingers together. She pressed hard up against Ali’s g-spot with her fingers and more gently with her thumb against her throbbing clit. They both knew it wasn’t going to be enough to get the brunette her orgasm, so Ali used her own hand to rub the sensitive nub hard and fast. The keeper kept her thumb nearby and continued to squeeze and make her wife dizzy with delicious sensations. Ali tilted her head back with her eyes closed and Ashlyn slid her lips down to her neck, sucking and nipping as her wife writhed in her arms.

“Jesus...so beautiful...fuck baby...” Ashlyn mumbled against her neck as she enjoyed the performance Ali’s body was putting on.

Her dark nipples were standing at attention, even the one Ashlyn couldn’t get her mouth or hand to. Her chest was heaving as her body rocked and moved in her keeper’s arms. The slight sheen on her skin made it look like she was shining and Ashlyn swore she’d never seen her wife look more beautiful. The air around them was thick with lust and sex and the sounds of wet flesh sliding and slapping together. Ali’s mewls and whines and moans were driving Ashlyn wild and her clit actually felt painful it was aching so hard for her own release. But that would have to wait. They could both tell that the brunette’s orgasm was imminent.

“I’m close...”’ Ali gasped out, eyes still closed. She wanted to keep them open but couldn’t manage it no matter how hard she tried. “Unnnhhhh...oh fuck...” she rubbed her own clit even faster and pressed her shoulders back into the arm of the chair as she arched her back again. 

“Damn...” Ashlyn panted. “I’m gonna come...just watching you...fuck...” she groaned. 

Ashlyn squeezed the brunette’s nipple hard and gave the delicate skin of her neck an extra strong nip with her teeth as Ali’s body rolled and bucked on top of her.

“Oh God...oh yeah...mmmm...fuck...oh...Ashlyn!!”

Ali yelled out as she came hard around her wife’s fingers. Her body shook and she shot her leg straight out, letting her heel bang on the hardwood floor as it came to rest. Ashlyn had to lean back into the chair to avoid the brunette head that bolted upright as the strong orgasm rushed through her wife. Ali sat up for a few seconds as her abdominal muscles contracted and then dropped back down as her whole body twitched and shook.

Ashlyn kept her fingers inside her wife for several minutes, not wanting her turn to be over just yet and knowing that Ali liked it that way. She stilled her right hand on the brunette’s breast, feeling the wild racing of her heartbeat through her chest. The keeper placed soft kisses all over her wife’s face, amazed for the millionth time that she was the person on this earth that was allowed to do that to the beautiful brunette.

“I love you...I love you...I love you...” Ashlyn whispered between kisses, mouth moving slowly and deliberately with both words and kisses. They had both been saying it a lot since Tuesday afternoon in an ongoing attempt to fill that still mostly empty tank.

“Love you...” Ali panted as she tried to catch her breath, “too...”

They could have laid there together like that for another hour except that Ashlyn’s core felt like it was about to explode from pent up desire, and they were running out of time before the school pick-up. They kissed for a few minutes, catching their breath and grinning at each other like fools because they were so happy to be past those awful four weeks of their self-imposed break. As soon as Ali was able to feel her legs again, she straddled her keeper, kissing her passionately and letting her hands roam all over her beautiful chest and arms and sides. She slid down to the floor, kneeling between her wife’s legs, and ate Ashlyn out like it was the first time she had tasted her in a month. It was incredible and the keeper had a hard time keeping her seat. Ali’s pressure and suction was both too much and not nearly enough and Ashlyn whimpered and moaned through the whole experience. She was so far gone just moments before her orgasm that she nearly pulled Ali’s hair right out of her head. The brunette sucked and pumped and licked and rubbed her wife to one of the biggest orgasms she’d ever experienced. 

They couldn’t stop themselves from moving towards round two but there wasn’t enough time. They knew that when they started letting their hands and mouths wander but just couldn’t help themselves.

“Shit, fucking hell...” Ashlyn grumbled as the alarm went off at 2:15pm. They had five minutes to get into a vehicle and head to the elementary school. “I miss them and wanna see them...just not for another 20 minutes or so...” she moaned and then they both laughed.

“20 minutes?” Ali quirked her eyebrow at her sexy wife as she got up off the floor and pulled Ashlyn up after her. “You gotta dream bigger babe” she teased and pinched her keeper’s bare ass.

“Ow!” Ashlyn laughed and jumped towards the bathroom to escape her wife’s mischievous hands. “I’m up. I’m going” she laughed again, covering her butt with both hands behind her as she hurried away. “Don’t touch me again unless you plan on getting someone else to pick the kids up” she warned with a serious look, lust still darkening her eyes. “I mean it.”

“Fine” Ali pouted and followed her wife into the master bathroom, keeping her distance. “But I want more of that tonight” she gave Ashlyn a challenging look. 

They both knew that was going to be a big ask. It was Thursday afternoon and Ali had a soccer practice to coach that evening and Ashlyn was going to Meg’s 7pm game against Pitt too. It was a hectic school night like so many others in their busy lives. But if they didn’t at least try...if they didn’t at least talk about how much they wanted to spend time together like this...then what was the point of reconciling in the first place?

“You’ll get no argument from me” the keeper chuckled as she sat on the toilet to pee.

Ali kept her distance, willing herself to focus on washing her hands and face instead of rushing over and sitting on her wife’s lap again. She gave Ashlyn a quick smirk before punctuating the conversation once and for all.

“Good. It’s a date.”

//

While Ali and Ashlyn had been struggling with their own problems that September, the rest of their lives kept moving on around them. Josie had finally nagged her mothers into allowing her to try mowing the lawn again, claiming she had had a growth spurt. So one Saturday afternoon early in the month Ali had taken her feisty daughter out into the driveway to show her how it was done. Ashlyn had taken Dodge to football practice, Drew and Ethan were in the basement of the big old house, and Lily had gone to her friend Tahlia’s house after their soccer game. The lesson hadn’t started off well and it hadn’t ended well either.

“I told you to put your sneakers on” Ali stood with her hands on her hips and an annoyed frown on her face when Josie joined her in the driveway. “Go back and put them on” she pointed towards the mudroom and saw Josie roll her eyes dramatically as she turned around. “And don’t roll your eyes at me either. I know how to use the lawnmower and if you don’t do every single thing I tell you to do, you’re not ever gonna learn how to do it.”

“Okay!” Josie raised her voice a bit in response to the snap in her mother’s tone. It irked the girl to no end that she had to wait for one of her mothers to teach her how to do something. She liked to learn at her own, usually advanced, pace. “I’m going!”

“And lose the attitude or we’re not gonna get far with this!”

Once appropriately shod, and still wearing her soccer shorts and t-shirt jersey, Josie watched and listened attentively as Ali showed her where everything on the lawnmower was and explained what it did. She reminded her of the rules about only adults using the gas can and that either Ali or Ashlyn had to be home whenever the lawnmower was used by either she or Drew. It was amazing for the brunette watching her daughter’s agile mind taking everything in. Ali was proud and a little intimidated at the same time, if she was truly being honest. Everything went well until it was time to start the lawnmower and have Josie try pushing it. Ashlyn and Ali had already agreed that the next time she begged them they would let her try it, even if she was still too short. They hoped it would help her understand why they were saying no.

“What are you doing now?” Josie cocked her head to the side as Ali loosened the bolts on the handle of the lawnmower. She hadn’t seen this done before, not even with Drew.

“I’m adjusting the handle...”

“But I don’t want it adjusted” Josie shook her head as if she was choosing between two types of ice cream for dessert. “I want it just like that” she pointed at the lawnmower and nodded.

“Well, the handle’s not in the right place for you. That’s why I’m moving it...”

“But I don’t want it that way.”

“Sweetheart, we have to move the handle lower so you can reach it” Ali’s patience was wearing thin. “We did the same thing with Drew when he started...”

“No you didn’t” the redhead spoke with certainty and shook her head.

Ali honestly couldn’t remember if they had needed to shorten the handle height for Drew or not, but it wasn’t the point and she wasn’t going to debate her daughter on it that afternoon in the driveway.

“That’s beside the point. I shouldn’t even have brought it up. I’m just trying to explain that it’s a common thing to do” she sighed and moved to the last bolt and loosened it. Logan barked at them from inside the backyard fence, sensing the argument they were heading towards. The girl’s voice was whiny and demanding when she spoke next.

“But I don’t want...”

“Josephine Marie Krieger” Ali spoke sharply and stood up straight, fixing her daughter with a stern look. “If you want me to show you how to use the lawnmower we need to adjust the handle. Now stop arguing with me about it or we’ll stop this lesson right now.”

Josie’s bottom lip started to quiver and Ali sighed, knowing she had just almost guaranteed that a temper tantrum was on its way. If only she could have been a little more patient for a little while longer... She heard her daughter sniffle and made one last attempt to salvage what was left of the afternoon. She used all of her willpower to keep her voice calm and reasonable.

“Jose, come here for a minute” she gestured to the girl on the brink of tears. “Stand up straight now, and grab onto the handle of the lawnmower” she nodded at the handle that was easily a foot above her daughter’s head. She was pleased that her words had come out just as she had intended – peacefully and soothingly. “Go ahead.”

Josie reached up and had to stand on her tip toes to get her fingers around the handle, grunting with determination and then announcing victoriously, “See, I can reach it!”

“No, honey, you can’t” Ali shook her head and sighed heavily. Only Josie would manage to make this so painful for them both. She mustered a few more minutes of patience and spoke kindly to the ambitious 10-year old. “You can’t mow the lawn on your tip toes...”

“Yes I can!!” Josie yelled, just as frustrated as her mother. 

“No, you can’t!” Ali yelled back, exasperated beyond belief.

“Yes I can!!” she yelled louder, her face a scrunched-up ball of fury that directed its venom at the brunette. “You just don’t want me to!! You...you...you raised the handle!” she accused wildly. “I saw you!!” she screamed.

“That’s enough!” Ali boomed, the sheer force and volume of her yell made Josie freeze for a few seconds. Logan whined and paced back and forth inside the fence as she observed the showdown. “If this is how you’re going to behave then you are nowhere near ready to take on something as big and important as using the lawnmower” she shook her head, lowering her voice back to normal pissed-off levels. “We’re done” she said decisively as she began tightening the bolts back up so Drew would be able to use the lawnmower tomorrow as planned.

“No, Mommy, no...” Josie whined and tried to push Ali’s hands away from the handle. Much like her mother, she was stronger than she looked and managed to make the brunette pinch her finger painfully between the bolt and the plastic turning knob she was using to tighten it.

“Ow, Josie” Ali’s eyes flashed with anger as her daughter kept pushing at her. “That hurt!” she saw the blood where the skin on her finger had been ripped and lost her own temper. “Stop what you’re doing RIGHT now!” she yelled again and grasped Josie by the wrist with one strong hand. “Get in the house and up to your room. You’re in a timeout!” She felt Josie go limp in her hand and her anger spiked even more. “Get up and get up to your room” she lifted the girl up by her wrist, quickly grabbing her other bicep with her other hand and marching her towards the mudroom door.

Josie dug her heels in, out in front of her, and squirmed in Ali’s firm grasp. The brunette couldn’t believe what a scene her 10-year old daughter was making. It felt like she was dealing with a toddler all over again. It was embarrassing and infuriating. 

“If you want me to carry you up to your room I’ll do it” she threatened. “But every minute it takes me will be an hour you’ll be punished without your phone or your kindle” she delivered the strict terms in a low, serious voice that none of her kids liked to hear.

She released Josie halfway between the lawnmower in the driveway and the mudroom door and the girl promptly sat down on her butt with her arms folded defiantly across her chest.

“I’m counting to three” Ali spoke through clenched teeth as she stood behind her stubborn daughter. “Then I will help you to your room and the punishment count will start. Do you understand me?”

Ali sincerely hoped that Josie would stand up and make her own way to her bedroom. She really didn’t want to have to carry the bratty girl up the stairs. She was small for her age but she was still 60 pounds. She and Lily were the same size and weight and Dodge was heavier because he ate more and had more developed muscles already. The brunette said a silent prayer, even closing her eyes and looking up to the sky.

“One...” she paused longer than she would normally, just to give Josie a chance to do the right thing.

“Two...” she saw her daughter’s shoulders droop just a bit and knew she would wait all the way to the end of the last possible second of the word ‘Three’ before she moved. Ali prayed again for her daughter to take the smart, logical way out of the impasse.

“Three...” 

Just as the brunette had predicted, Josie jumped up and ran into the house as the last echo of the word passed through her mother’s tense lips. She slammed the mudroom door so hard behind her that Logan barked at the strange sound and ran all the way to the other side of the yard to investigate.

Ali breathed a sigh of relief and rubbed her temples, hoping to alleviate some of the stress that had just filled her body. She finished tightening the bolts on the lawnmower handle, dreading the talk she would need to have with her daughter when she went up to tell her how long her timeout would last. She hoped like hell that Josie had followed the family timeout rules and left her phone and kindle outside her bedroom door. Please God, please let me have that today, Ali prayed again. That clash between Josie and Ali was a glimpse into the future of how challenging their relationship would become as the feisty redhead got older.

//

A different Saturday afternoon that September had Ashlyn playing pirates out in the treehouse with Lily, Dodge, Josie, and Josie’s bestie Kayla. There was a new animated movie out about lady pirates and the girls were all excited to reenact as many scenes as possible from it. Dodge would participate in any game as long as it looked fun. Pirates, no matter their gender, were always fun. He eagerly ran down the path from the backyard where Ali was standing after bringing him home from football practice. Logan whined next to her, wagging her entire body hopefully. 

The girls used the treehouse as the enormous crow’s nest of the pirate ship. They dragged branches from the woods and hockey sticks and bats from the garage over to form the outline of the ship on the ground below. The imaginary water was filled with imaginary sharks and the plot of the imaginary game veered from the new pirate movie to Peter Pan to Pirates of the Caribbean and back again pretty smoothly. 

“Mommy!” Lily yelled and waved, her unruly blonde locks covered by one of the two pirate hats from the dress-up trunk in the basement playroom. “We’re being pirates! Come play!” she invited, her voice brimming with excitement and enthusiasm.

Ordinarily, if Ali and Ashlyn hadn’t been in their 4-week limbo break, the brunette would have struggled with the decision but eventually given in because how freaking cute was that? Her hesitation would only have been because she hated that treehouse with every fiber of her being and vowed never to step foot in it again. But she could have worked around that. She could have maneuvered the play game so that she stayed down on the ‘ship’ and joined in the game quite happily. But the two moms were still giving each other time and space and the brunette declined the invitation, offering an excuse about getting dinner started. She couldn’t help but smile as she walked back towards the house though – Ashlyn was displaying some of the best parts of herself, wearing half of the dress-up items and hamming it up as a pirate, complete with the argghhh and the matey and all of the other stereotypical pirate gestures and phrases. And she was having a great time too. That had always been the keeper’s secret weapon with the kids. She loved to play those silly games almost as much as they did. Ali loved her kids and loved playing with them too, but there weren’t too many people on the planet who took it to the level that Ashlyn did.

“Mama?” Lily plopped herself down on the floor of the crow’s nest next to Ashlyn who was lying flat on her back with her hands clasped behind her head and her legs crossed at the ankles – like any good pirate would lounge. 

They were hiding from the bad pirates while Josie, Kayla, and Dodge fought to protect them down on the ship. It had been a major part of the movie’s plot line and the kids kept playing it out over and over again with different pairs of them being the hiders.

“Yes love?” the keeper looked up into her daughter’s hazel eyes and smiled. The eyes that were just like her own. The eyes that always made her think of her beloved Gram. 

Lily peered down at her mother with a big goofy grin on her face, holding onto her pirate hat so it wouldn’t fall off again. Major drama ensued when the pirate hats fell from the crow’s nest down to the ship. She giggled and poked her finger into Ashlyn’s dimple that had appeared on her left cheek.

“Are you gonna grow your hair long again, like mine?”

“Hmmm...” Ashlyn considered the question honestly. “I don’t know. Why? Do you want me to?”

“Yeah!” Lily enthused with a huge grin on her face. “Do it!”

“Why though?” the keeper moved a hand up to play with the loose natural curls in her daughter’s long blonde hair.

“Cuz then we could be twins!” Lily giggled.

“Oh well you could always cut your hair shorter like mine” Ashlyn proposed, knowing she would get a resounding no in return. She winked at the girl.

“No, Mama” Lily laughed. “I like my hair long” she grabbed a handful of it and showed it to her mother, as if Ashlyn couldn’t already see it. “If I want it short you can just put it up for me again” she reasoned wisely.

“You like those pictures of me with my long hair huh?” the keeper referred to several of Lily’s favorite pictures of the blonde with her hair long and in different styles over the years. It had never been longer than it was now, since she had gotten it cut really short after the freak car accident she and Drew had been in back in 2021. “What do you like about them?” she asked after Lily nodded her reply.

“Ummm...you look pretty in those pictures, like me” the girl giggled and began tracing the tattoos on the underside of her mother’s left forearm.

Ashlyn knew from going down this road before that Lily didn’t mean that Ashlyn wasn’t pretty with her short hair. She meant that Ashlyn looked pretty because she looked like Lily. It had taken some bruised egos to figure it out but the keeper understood it now and didn’t need reassurances about it anymore. This was purely self-centered narcissism on Lily’s part but both her moms were glad their daughter had such good body confidence. They vowed to encourage her never to lose it.

“What about Dodger? Should he grow his out like Noah’s?” the keeper asked, referring to Niki and Molly’s oldest son who was a high school sophomore. Rebellious Noah hadn’t cut his hair in over a year and it was almost as long as Ali’s.

“He said no...”

“You already asked him?” Ashlyn laughed.

“Yeah” Lily laughed too. “But he said no.”

“How come?”

“He said, ummm...” she squinted and tried to remember what her brother had told her just the other day. “Oh yeah” she giggled at herself, “he said that his coach said that long hair was too easy to grab on the field and that he could get tackled easier” she nodded, pleased with her recall of the conversation.

“Oh yeah, hmmmm...” Ashlyn thought about the answer. “Which coach? Football or soccer?”

“Football. No, um, soccer” Lily paused and thought some more. “Actually, I don’t really know” she shrugged and giggled some more.

“It makes a lot of sense though, don’t you think?” the keeper asked, wondering what the girl thought about it. “Is that why so many girls put their hair up in a bun or a ponytail when they play sports?” Ashlyn planted yet another seed in her daughter’s head. At least she hoped she did.

“Yeah, I guess” Lily shrugged again without much thought. “I like my hair free though” she cautioned, knowing from experience where her mother was going with this line of questioning.

Ali and Ashlyn had been fighting with Lily for years to get the girl to pull her hair back out of her face when she played any sport. It had been a losing battle up until recently, but they had finally convinced her to play with a couple of loose braids, one on each side, towards the back of her head. It was hard to know what exactly had been the tipping point, but Ali was convinced it was the pictures of Ashlyn playing soccer with her long blonde hair in a thick braid that had done the trick.

“I know you do sweetpea” Ashlyn lifted some strands of Lily’s long hair up and let them float back down. “As long as you take care of it and brush it then that’s ok” she repeated the new mantra. “It’s beautiful” she winked at the girl. “And we’ll keep doing your braids for sports, right?”

“Right” Lily nodded. “But free every time else.”

“As you wish” the keeper smiled adoringly at her youngest child.

//

The vegetable garden had been as bountiful as ever that summer and September was prime harvesting time. The big challenge this year had been keeping Logan and her big nose out of everything. Neither Fred nor Persey had ever been that interested in the garden, not once the fertilizer had settled in and the plants had begun to grow. Ashlyn had never met a dog who didn’t love the smell of shit and her dogs had been no different. The fence around the garden, still in its place in the corner of the backyard behind the garage, did a good job of keeping most animals out – including the family dogs. But Logan in her inquisitive puppyness, she was just 2 years old that September, had discovered a way to fit her big old paw through the fence and dig in the raised beds. Ali always called those frustrating but magical years between true puppyhood and adulthood a dog’s ‘teenager’ years. They weren’t quite puppies anymore, but they weren’t officially grown up yet either. Usually it was when the dog was 2-3 years old. That’s right where Logan was. She was still energetic and inquisitive and could be completely spastic at any given moment. But she was also able to calm herself down more now. She could follow and obey commands and be still and quiet when asked. 

But Logan liked to dig more than any other dog in their lives ever had, except for Boss Leroux. That dog would have dug a hole all the way through the earth if Sydney had let him. Logan destroyed the flower bed by the side of the garage in the backyard but that was ok because that side wall of the garage got used for soccer practice more than any other surface on the property. Ashlyn had finally just gone and painted a goal onto it and some height lines so the kids could have a visual reference for what they were aiming at. The rest of the flower beds were all moved to the front yard, on the other side of the fence, to keep Logan from digging them up. Ashlyn had almost lost her mind one day when she saw the big goofy dog prancing around in the backyard with an entire plant in her mouth, tossing it up and then catching it or pawing at it after dropping it to the ground. So the flower beds all got moved out of reach and the keeper put up a second layer of wire mesh fence around the garden, off-setting the first layer so the holes in it were half as big. Logan couldn’t fit her paw through it after that, although it didn’t stop her from trying.

“A bumper crop this year” Carol beamed as she stepped out of the garden the first Friday of September. She carefully placed an armful of different types of tomatoes into the big basket they used to bring vegetables into the kitchen. “Deb’s big reds look the best, as usual” she chuckled, referring to the beefsteak tomatoes that were Deb’s favorites.

“Mmmmm...let me help you with those peas” Tammye grabbed a few sugar snap peas from the basket of veggies her wife had already picked. It was easy to see where Ashlyn had learned her love of them as Tammye cracked open a pod and enjoyed the sweet peas inside with another satisfied hum.

Tammye and Carol had come up for Labor Day weekend so they could see the kids go to their first day of school for the first time ever. They rented the same beach house they had been for the past couple of years and stayed for the first two weeks of September. They had both settled into retirement more easily than they had expected. Once Carol’s new hip was finally feeling pain-free they had done some travelling that didn’t revolve entirely around their grandchildren that summer. It was always nice having Tammye and Carol around. They were helpful and unobtrusive, and it was a treat to have Carol in the kitchen. The whole family loved that, even if the kids didn’t quite understand it yet. Deb was the same way, but her personality was bigger and more outgoing. She was still who the kids would run to first if Ali or Ashlyn wasn’t around, but they truly loved spending time with all of their grandparents.

It hadn’t taken Tammye and Carol long to realize that something was amiss between Ashlyn and Ali when they arrived the Saturday of Labor Day weekend. The big fight had just happened the day before and the two younger wives were as raw as could be from it. Neither Ali nor Ashlyn brought it up and they behaved as naturally as they could while still giving each other space. The kids never noticed a thing, but Tammye and Carol both did. The squabbling spouses kept their problems to themselves though, assuring the grandmas that everything was ok or would be soon enough. In addition to seeing the younger Krieger kids off to their first day of school that year, Tammye and Carol had planned their visit to coincide with the first four games of Meg’s schedule for the month of September. The first three were home games and the fourth, on Sunday afternoon September 14th, was an away game but to Northeastern University – also in Boston, and one of Ali’s three alma maters. A hidden perk of the trip was Carol being able to garden again without any pain in her hip. She came out of the garden almost every morning with a huge smile on her face and a basket full of ripe veggies to enjoy.

“Looks like something got into Lily’s tiny tomatoes” Carol frowned as she tossed some spoiled and half-eaten cherry tomatoes into the woods at the back of the yard. “She will not be pleased about that.”

“Oh she’ll be fine with the pickling cucumbers. Look how perfect they look” Tammye held one up, admiring it. 

“If Meg was smart she’d barter her for them” Carol chuckled.

“Nah, she’s too darned sweet for that” Tammye smiled at the thought of Meg choosing the pickling tomatoes as her veggie back in May. 

Meg had never participated in the garden, not officially anyway. She helped when she was around but she had never been in Boston enough to warrant an official planting selection. Even her freshman year at BC she hadn’t been official – she was still down in DC when they did the plantings in May. But this May she was in Boston and ready to be part of the Krieger garden for the first time. Unfortunately, it was also the year that Lily took her turn with the tiny tomatoes. That meant that the girl was going to cajole everybody else in the family until someone agreed to plant her pickling cucumbers for her. Sweet Meg had volunteered quickly, earning the admiration of both Ashlyn and Ali. 

“She was sweet to plant them. She oughta get rewarded for giving them all to Lily” Carol laughed. “I’ll have to mention that to her tonight when we see her after the game.”

“I told her the exact same thing” Ashlyn grinned as she joined them, ready to carry the big basket inside the house. “There’s sweet and then there’s smart and I think a good combination of both is always the way to go” she winked.

//

Drew went to see the child psychologist twice a month for most of 2029 and all of 2030. This year, 2031, he had changed to once a month because he had gotten his stomach problems, which were really anxiety issues, under better control. Dr. Murphy had given him the tools he needed to get himself safely through the situations in his young life that caused him anxiety. Those situations were basically anytime he was the center of attention, like being on the pitcher’s mound in baseball or having to get up and do a book report in front of the rest of the class. 

Before his scheduled appointment in the middle of September, Ali and Ashlyn made their own appointment to go and talk to Dr. Murphy themselves.

“Thank you for seeing us Dr. Murphy” Ali nodded politely as she and her wife sat down on the couch across from the attractive, young, child psychologist.

“Of course” Dr. Murphy smiled at them both. 

Ashlyn was struck again by how it always felt like she and Ali were on the outside of things when it came to Dr. Murphy and Drew. Which, of course, was really how it should be if Drew’s best interests were to be protected. Imagine if Drew’s parents were abusing him and causing all the emotional stress in his young life. The child psychologist would be duty-bound to protect him, even from his parents. The keeper knew that was the basis for the approach Dr. Murphy took with all of her child patients, but it still didn’t feel good. Ashlyn always felt guilty when she went to see Dr. Murphy. Ali had tried to make her wife feel better back in 2029 when Drew started seeing the young psychologist, but she had finally confessed to feeling the same thing and not liking it any more than the keeper did. They talked to Dr. Mattie Olsen about their feelings and the wise therapist tried to assure them that even the best parents could feel inadequate or insufficient in those situations, but it was for the good of the child. Dr. Comello, who had originally referred Drew to Dr. Murphy, also helped to quell Ali and Ashlyn’s concerns. Just as they had done when they decided to take Drew to Dr. Murphy in the first place, the two moms believed that if both Dr. Olsen and Dr. Comello approved of the child psychologist and her methods then she must be doing a lot of things right.

Whether Ashlyn and Ali felt comfortable talking to Dr. Murphy or not, Drew clearly was benefitting from her therapy. The two moms considered stopping his appointments with her at the end of last year, simply because he didn’t seem to need them much anymore. But they opted for reducing the number of appointments instead. They both thought it would be smart for Drew to have an open contact to talk about anything that might come up for him as he entered the challenging new age of Middle School. And thank God they did because he clearly needed somebody to talk to right now. 

“So, umm...we’re not really sure how to do this” Ashlyn looked nervously at her wife and wished that they weren’t in their limbo break. Everything about this appointment would be easier if they were on the same page and in synch as they usually were. “But Drew doesn’t want to talk to us about it, so we thought maybe you could tell us what you think after you talk to him at his appointment next week?” the keeper asked more than stated.

Dr. Murphy’s beautiful, dark brown face registered some surprise with just a hint of skepticism in her expressive eyes. Ali didn’t miss either and tried to tell herself not to get defensive and bitchy.

“Look, we’re worried about our son” Ali rambled quickly, sounding almost panicky. “We’ve tried talking to him and he said he wasn’t gay and we just...” she felt her throat start to close up as her fear rose up, “...we just want him to be ok...”

“Let’s slow down” Dr. Murphy’s eyebrows went up. She had never seen the brunette so out of sorts. She wasn’t even sure what Ali had just said.

Ashlyn took over, more annoyed than anything at her wife’s unhelpful contribution to the meeting. It had only been a week since their big fight and they were miles apart. The keeper took her time and told the whole story of Drew’s incident at the sleepover soccer camp. She talked about Kyle’s belief that his nephew was gay and her own similar suspicion that had grown over the years. And she finished by describing the talk she and Ali had tried to have with Drew before their big fight.

“We don’t care if he’s gay or not. We’ll support everything he does, either way. We just want him to be happy...”

“And we’re afraid that he’s not being honest with himself for some reason” Ali interrupted, speaking again for the first time since her discombobulated introduction to the reason for their visit. “My brother almost killed himself with drugs and addiction because he couldn’t handle being gay...” her voice dropped, more serious than ever. “I don’t want Drew to have to go through that.”

They were quiet for a moment as Dr. Murphy finished making some notes. She fixed them with a much warmer look and leaned forward, with her elbows on her knees, as she spoke to them.

“I understand your concerns, and, quite frankly, I share them based on everything you’ve told me today. But we can’t just assume Drew’s gay because that’s what we think is going on. You asked him and he gave you a very clear answer. We can’t dismiss that just because it doesn’t align with your own interpretation of things.”

“So, what are you saying?” Ashlyn squinted as she felt her frustration growing.

“I’m saying that we can’t force your son to come out, if he is, in fact, gay. All we can do is continue to let him know, in as many small ways as possible, that we’ll love and support him if he is gay.”

“Umm...that’s not all that helpful doc” Ashlyn shook her head and sighed heavily.

“I know it’s not what you wanted to hear, but it’s the best thing we can do for Drew right now.”

“Do you think he’s fighting it because he doesn’t want to be gay?” Ali asked, a slight tremor in her voice. “Is that why he doesn’t like it when we compare him to my brother, to his uncle Kyle? Does he not want to be like Kyle?”

“For the record, when we compare him to Kyle we’re talking about his looks. They’re practically twins” Ashlyn clarified quickly. “And Drew knows that.”

Dr. Murphy pursed her lips and thought for a long minute before answering Ali’s question.

“I think you might be right” she nodded at the brunette. “At least partially. Your son’s anxiety is caused by being in the spotlight or standing out in any social situation. We’ve clearly established that. I can’t think of anything that would put him more in the spotlight than being gay, especially at his age.”

“So what can we do?” Ashlyn’s eyes were wide and full of worry. “Please, tell us how to help our son.”

“As I said before, the only thing we can do is make sure he knows that being gay is ok, not just with you, but in general, out in the world. But he’s not going to be eager to discuss it...”

“We know” Ali nodded. “We’ll have to take advantage of times that it comes up in conversation, or around us, and respond then. But not make it about him.”

“Excellent. That’s exactly what to do” the psychologist nodded approvingly. She paused for another few seconds, deep in thought. 

“What?” Ashlyn asked anxiously. “What aren’t you telling us?”

“I’m afraid that his desire to avoid unwanted attention might be causing him to deny what he might really be feeling or experiencing.”

“So, he isn’t lying to us about it...” Ali tried hard to understand. “He’s just in denial about it?”

“It’s possible” the psychologist replied carefully. “It’s something we’ll need to consider going forward.” She took another beat before continuing. “Of course, there’s also the possibility that he has no idea about his sexuality yet. He may just be in the early stages of even thinking about it. He’s so private and shy that we may never be invited into this part of his life – and we’re going to have to learn to be ok with that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for missing yesterday's chapter. Insanely busy at work right now.


	33. This Ain't Your Mother's NWSL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's kinda long and I let my soccer geek show a bit. Sorry.
> 
> Also, I won't be posting a chapter tomorrow because I'll be on Auntie duty again. But I'll get the next one up Saturday night or Sunday morning at the latest. Just a few left to go now.

The Boston Breakers finished the 2031 season in first place in the Eastern Division of the NWSL. The Vancouver Greys finished in first place in the Western Division and won the Supporters Shield for sitting atop the table with the most points in the entire league. 2031 marked a big turning point in the NWSL as it introduced a new playoff structure as well as new blood for its promotional and broadcast personnel. There had been 20 teams in the league since the Dallas Blue Monarchs and the Utah Royals joined in the 2027 season. The league had expanded to a schedule that was closer to the MLS schedule with 30 games that started in March and went through the end of September, with playoffs taking place in October. Basically, the NWSL season was a month shorter than the MLS. Four years later, there were 20 big, healthy teams, 10 in each division, that were all prospering across the country. 

West Division:  
Vancouver Greys  
Seattle Reign  
Portland Thorns  
San Jose Quicksilver  
Los Angeles Strikers  
Utah Royals  
Colorado Rush  
Kansas City Blues  
Houston Dash  
Dallas Blue Monarchs

East Division:  
Boston Breakers  
New York Power  
Washington Spirit  
North Carolina Courage  
Atlanta Fever  
Orlando Pride  
Toronto Riverhawks  
Columbus Chargers  
Chicago Red Stars  
Minnesota Shield Maidens

Starting back in 2027, each team played all 9 of the other teams in their division twice; once at home and once away. Then they also played their rivalry team from their division two more times; once at home and once away. Finally, they played one game against each team from the opposite division; five at home and five away. The idea was to limit some of the travelling during the season and create some tried and true rivalries among teams at the same time. Some of the rivalry matchups were the same ones that the league had been trying to promote for years, others were newer because the teams were newer to the league. For the Breakers it was a no-brainer both geographically and common-sensically. Another Boston – New York rivalry was the easiest to pick on the entire map. 

The Breakers and The Power had been going at it ever since 2024 when the new Power team had merged with and absorbed what was left of the Sky Blue team in New Jersey. Ashlyn loved the rivalry in particular because the Power was the team that Lady Gaga owned. The two friends, and now NWSL owners, engaged in some of the best smack-talk in the entire league. They were always careful to keep it above-board and respectful, but they didn’t pull any punches or pussyfoot around. Their social media posts about their two teams were always among the most popular in the entire league. NY Power had just missed the playoffs in 2031, finishing in fourth place in the Eastern Division, and were poised to make an even stronger run at the Championship in the next few years.

Boston was enjoying another string of successful seasons. The Breakers had won the Championship in 2027, beating an upstart Atlanta team. Then Houston had won in 2028. But the Breakers came back to win again in 2029, defeating their old nemesis Portland Thorns. And just last year they made a repeat trip to the Final game to defend their title, only to lose to the Houston Dash. This year, 2031, would be the Breakers’ 4th appearance in the Championship game in 5 years. The team was still upset about losing last year, the year their brothers, the New England Revolution, had won the MLS cup. It would have been the ultimate tribute to Robert Kraft if both teams could have somehow pulled off that miracle. So the Breakers had a chip on their shoulder this year and whoever they faced in the Final was going to have to play a hell of a match to beat them. And the whole league knew it.

For the first time ever, the entire month of October was dedicated to the playoffs in the new format. The top 3 teams in the Eastern division table played a round robin tournament to determine the Eastern Champion. The Western division did the same thing and then the two division champions played for the NWSL Championship during the final weekend of Championship week. The round robin playoffs were scheduled for the first three Saturdays of October and the Championship Final for the fourth Saturday. The only thing that changed when compared to the playoff schedule of the past was that the playoffs took three weeks instead of two and there was no week off before the Championship game. Instead, the game that was played the first Saturday of Championship week was the third and final playoff game in each division and the league made it interesting by the way they arranged the round robin playoffs.

The first weekend, October 4th, the 1st place team played at home against the 3rd place team. Then the second weekend, October 11th, the 2nd place team played at home against the 3rd place team. Then the third weekend, the first of Championship Week – still held in predetermined neutral locations, October 18th, the 1st place team played the 2nd place team in what was expected to be the best of the three playoff games. Both Divisions did the same thing so there was a Western playoff game and an Eastern playoff game each weekend. The team with the most points in the division round robin tournament would go on to play its counterpart in the other division for the NWSL Championship the following weekend, October 25th, to close out Championship Week as always. 

There was all sorts of speculation about which spot was the best to have as the teams entered the round robin division playoffs. The 1st place team had to play right away but they were playing the weakest of the three playoff teams. The 2nd place team got to rest the first weekend but then had to play two playoff games in a row to get to the NWSL Championship game. All that was certain was that the 3rd place team had it the roughest – they had to play two away games without any break after the regular season had ended.

Everybody liked the new format because it meant that 6 teams went to the playoffs instead of just 4. That was a boost for the entire league, and it meant two additional teams would be able to sell tickets and concessions and merchandise in the postseason. In 2031, Boston beat Minnesota and then beat Atlanta to get to the big game in Houston. Vancouver beat LA and then Houston, crushing Dash fans’ hopes of their team competing for the NWSL Championship in their home stadium. 

“There’s Mama!” Dodge yelled and pointed excitedly at the center of the pitch after the Breakers defeated Atlanta to win the Eastern Division and punch their ticket to the Championship game the following weekend.

Ali and the kids were watching from one of the suites with other Breakers family members as the players, coaches, staff, and owners were celebrating their hard-fought victory. A small stage had been put up in the middle of the Houston Dash’s stadium and the NWSL Commissioner, Angela Hucles, beamed as she spoke into the microphone.

“What a great game! Congratulations to both the Fever and the Breakers for their successful seasons and for giving us such beautiful soccer here this evening” she waited while the sold-out crowd cheered wildly. “It’s my honor to present the Eastern Division Trophy to Jonathan Kraft and Ashlyn Harris, the owners of the Boston Breakers! Congratulations!”

Angela Hucles, herself a former Breaker and one of the esteemed Pillars of Excellence whose banner hung high above the Revs and Breakers stadium back in Boston, just as Ashlyn’s did, grinned from ear to ear as she handed the trophy to Jonathan Kraft. Jonathan admired the new hardware, realizing the importance of being the very first team to ever win a Divisional Trophy in the newly reformatted league. Angela and Ashlyn shared a hug and a kiss and then flanked the man holding the trophy high above his head for everyone to celebrate. He turned to all four sides of the stadium and presented the trophy to raucous applause before handing it to Ashlyn. The keeper kissed the trophy and pumped her fist in excitement. She didn’t hog it for very long though, quickly passing it off to Abby Smith, the Breakers first-year head coach who had been as good as everybody hoped she would be.

“How about this new coach we’ve got?” Ashlyn spoke into the microphone after Jonathan paid his respects to the fans and the staff and the players. 

Ashlyn hugged Abby Smith, her former protégé from their years as Breakers keepers. There had been a moving story and interview before the game about the complicated relationship between the two women so everyone had been reminded of the pretty unique situation Ashlyn and Abby had found themselves in towards the end of the blonde’s NWSL career. Abby had been as appreciative of everything the elder keeper had done to help her all throughout her career both in the NWSL and with the USWNT. She retold the story of how Ashlyn had been the only ‘soccer expert’ who had come out in support of Abby as the starting keeper for the USWNT back in the 2020 Olympics in Japan. There were some details that came out in that interview that had never been common knowledge before and it made Ashlyn look like the saint that she had been back then as she basically trained Abby to take her job from her. It was easy to see that the two goalkeepers were still good friends and that there were no hard feelings between them.

“How about these owners we’ve got?!” Abby leaned towards the microphone and yelled into it as she pointed at Ashlyn and Jonathan. The whole team was up on the stage now, jumping around and screaming as they celebrated their big win.

“No, no” Ashlyn shook her head with a big smile on her face as she addressed Abby again. “I might have taught you a few things about goalkeeping, but this coaching thing, that’s all you. I’m so proud of you and I’m so glad you agreed to come here and be the coach of our team.” The two women shared a heartfelt hug and then Ashlyn segued to the players, handing the microphone to the team captain as the crowd went wild again. “And what about this team?! Did they play a great game or what?! One more to go though” she cautioned with a smile. “But tonight we celebrate!”

As soon as Ashlyn handed the microphone over, she turned up to the suite where her family stood waving and cheering for her and the team. She scanned the crowded area quickly, finally finding the brunette head she was longing for. She waved both hands up to her family and then blew them a big kiss with her hand on her heart and her dimple in her cheek. The kids loved it, each one clamoring to get to the railing at the front of the open-air part of the suite so they could wave back to their Mama. It was a sweet couple of moments and Ali felt her heart tug as her emotions rose up too. She was surprised at how emotional she was. Part of it was the unspoken dedication of the season to getting the Championship for Bob Kraft. They were one step closer to doing that too. But part of Ali’s reaction was because of the work she and Ashlyn had been doing to get their relationship back on track after their September limbo period. It had only been 3 weeks since they returned from their North Carolina golf trip, and they had been busy weeks full of Breakers playoff games and Meg’s BC games and all of the rest of the kids’ busy activities. The two moms were trying to make time for each other as they tried to build off of their reconciliation and recovery from one of the biggest fights they’d ever had. The brunette blew a kiss back to her wife and gave her a sweet, sappy smile when Ashlyn pretended to catch it. God she loved that adorable goofball.

The Kriegers spent that night with the rest of the team and staff celebrating the win. The team hosted a party at their hotel for the players and their families to let loose a bit and watch the Western Division game that was being played at 8pm, right after their game and trophy ceremony had concluded. One of the perks of being ownership was that Ashlyn and her family got to fly on the team’s plane with them. The Krafts owned three big planes, one for each of their sports teams – the Patriots, the Revolution, and the Breakers. Ali, Ashlyn and the kids would be flying back home to Boston with the team Sunday morning for a few days of focused training and recuperation away from the craziness of Championship Week. The team would be back on Wednesday afternoon to get settled in again. They would do their media day on Thursday, and then have all day Friday to do their walkthroughs and other training to be prepared for the Championship game on Saturday.

Ali was more excited about her family’s plans for Sunday afternoon than even the big Breakers win over Atlanta that Saturday night. For the first time in their lives, the kids were going to get to celebrate Ashlyn’s birthday with her on her actual birthday. Sunday October 19th, 2031 was the date Ali had been anticipating for years, ever since 2016 when she and Ashlyn had finally gotten together. The brunette had been lucky enough to be able to spend quite a few of Ashlyn’s birthdays with her wherever the NWSL Championship week happened to be on any given year. She couldn’t really complain about that aspect of it. But she knew the kids missed being a part of the birthday fun and Ashlyn missed them on her big day too. When the kids were really little it didn’t matter so much because they didn’t know what day it was most of the time anyway. But as they got older, they started wanting to have a party for their Mama on her birthday day. Just like they always had for themselves and for Mommy. Ali had made arrangements before flying to Houston for a small-scale party back at the big old house Sunday afternoon. It wasn’t going to be anything huge, but the four families were going to be there along with some other friends and family members. It was a surprise for the keeper and Ali was having a difficult time keeping it that way. She also hadn’t made a big deal out of it with the kids yet because, as a parent, she had trained herself not to build anything up too big – just in case something happened and the thing ended up not happening after all. She was going to tell the kids Sunday morning once they were all on the flight home.

“What do you mean, you’re going to Meg’s game?” Ali’s face crumbled in confusion and despair. “In North Carolina?” she clarified even though she knew Meg’s schedule by heart.

“Yeah, can you believe it?” Ashlyn grinned at her wife late Saturday night when they finally had a chance to talk back at the hotel. It had been a hectic evening with the team party and the kids and the interviews. “Hannah got me a ticket, a flight tomorrow morning, for my birthday” she beamed as she turned her phone around to show her wife. “See?”

Ali leaned over and looked at the flight information and ticket on her keeper’s phone and nodded slowly. She was trying hard to be happy for her wife because Ashlyn clearly was ecstatic about the birthday surprise from Hannah. But the brunette was crushed. Her mind reeled as she thought fast about what she needed to undo for her own planned surprise the next day. She chewed her bottom lip as she thought hard.

“Are you mad?” Ashlyn got her wife’s attention, squeezing her arm as she faced Ali who was seated on the hotel bed. “I had no idea she was doing this Al, I swear” she talked fast, defending herself with the big goofy smile still on her happy face. “But it’ll be the last game I can go to this month. The last two are away games – this Thursday and then Sunday, and I’ll be here for media day and the Championship...”

“No, it’s ok” Ali forced a small smile. Ashlyn’s birthday was supposed to be what made the keeper happy, not what made Ali happy. If the brunette hadn’t allowed herself to get so excited about having her wife home on her birthday with the kids she would have been fine about the new wrinkle in the plans. As long as Ashlyn was happy she could have been happy for her. But Ali HAD allowed herself to get excited. And now she was feeling devastated. “That’s great babe. What an awesome birthday present” she smiled again.

“Yes!” Ashlyn looked even happier and a little relieved. “Meg’s gonna be so surprised” she walked into the bathroom to brush her teeth and get ready for bed. “And we can do cake with the kids when I get home” she called out over her shoulder, “or maybe Monday night would be better because I won’t be home until late tomorrow night...”

Ali’s fingers flew across her phone as she texted Sydney and Whitney and Niki and four or five other people about the sudden change in plans for tomorrow afternoon. She was so thankful that she hadn’t already told the kids about it. She felt like she won the lottery on that point alone. And Ashlyn was right, they could celebrate Monday night, the day after her birthday, as they had done all their lives. The brunette walked to her side of the bed and got under the covers, still processing a ton of feelings that were swirling around inside. She was sad. She was very sad. And she felt something that she really had never felt before when it came to her keeper. She felt like Ashlyn had picked somebody else over her, it didn’t really matter that it was Hannah. Although it certainly didn’t help matters at all. But it wasn’t so much about the person Ashlyn had chosen instead of Ali. It was about the fact that she had chosen to be someplace other than with Ali and the kids in the first place. It hurt and the brunette turned her light off and rolled onto her side to try and push her feelings away by giving in to the exhaustion she suddenly felt in every part of her body. It had been a long, exciting day and night and she was legitimately tired. But her heart felt heavy and her head hurt and that made her tiredness turn to exhaustion in a matter of seconds.

“So do you want to do my birthday sex tonight or...” Ashlyn flirted as she walked back out of the bathroom towards the bed. She stopped talking when she saw her wife already in bed and turned away to the other side. “Oh, sorry” she whispered. “Tomorrow night it is then” she wagged her eyebrows even though Ali couldn’t see her. “It was a long day and I’m wiped out too” she spoke softly as she got into bed and leaned over to kiss her wife’s shoulder.

Ali turned her head up towards the blonde and Ashlyn pressed a warm kiss into her lips.

“Night babe” the brunette said softly and returned to her position.

“Night” Ashlyn spooned her from behind and kissed her shoulder again. “Love you.”

//

When Ashlyn got home late Sunday night, her birthday night, the big old house was dark and quiet. Everybody, including Logan, was asleep and the dog barked from her usual sleeping place on Lily’s bed. The keeper carefully opened her daughter’s bedroom door to greet the whining animal, shushing her and getting down on her knees to try and keep the dog quiet.

“Shhh...hello baby girl...I see you...yes I do...shhhh...it’s ok, it’s just me...shhhh...” she whispered to Logan just inside Lily’s door as she patted and rubbed the sweet dog.

“Mama?” Lily’s groggy voice came from the nearby bed.

“Hi Sweetpea” Ashlyn whispered as she got up and walked across the room to give her daughter a hug and a kiss. “It’s just me. Logan barked and I’m just saying hi and settling her down.”

“I know” Lily yawned and rolled onto her back to receive the hug and kiss. “I heard her. I told her to go back to sleep but she didn’t listen” the girl shrugged and rubbed one of her eyes with one of her fists.

“Well it’s ok now, you go back to sleep too. Both of you” Ashlyn patted the bed and Logan jumped up onto it, settling back into her place at the foot of it. “There we go” the keeper cooed as she adjusted the covers up near Lily’s face and tucked her in again. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Mama?”

“Yes, Lil?”

“Is it still your birthday?”

Ashlyn looked at the clock on her daughter’s nightstand.

“Yes it is” she smiled as she moved some of the long blonde hair away from Lily’s neck. “For another...3 minutes. Why?”

“It’s ok” Lily yawned again. “Mommy says we...we...we...can just do the party tomorrow instead” her stutter came out because she was so tired, and Ashlyn thought her heart was going to break at the cuteness of the whole exchange.

“That’s right honey” she gave her another kiss, this one on her forehead. “We’ll celebrate my birthday tomorrow instead.”

“Ok. Happy Birthday” Lily said through her biggest yawn yet and rolled onto her side, snuggling into her pillow and closing her eyes once and for all. “Love you...”

“I love you too sweetpea. Have a good sleep.”

The keeper was puzzled to find the master bedroom empty and let her mind race for a few minutes as she washed her face, changed into her pajamas and got ready for bed. She knew it had been a hard day for Ali. She had received some texts with updates from the brunette and she had called and spoken with her wife twice that afternoon. Dodge was mad that he had missed his football game that morning, even though he had known about the schedule conflict ahead of time and had chosen to go with the family to the big Breakers game in Houston. Once they had gotten back home Sunday around noontime, he had remembered and been upset again about missing his game. He had been surly and bratty for the rest of the day which was unusual for him. When Dodge was in a bad mood everybody suffered. He could be annoying when he was in a good mood – always trying to get somebody to play some game with him or battle with him in some spur of the moment competition. It was more of the same when he was grumpy, only he would poke and pinch and push his way through his siblings at the same time.

Josie had woken up Sunday morning not feeling great and it had escalated to an ear infection by dinner time. The flight hadn’t helped the situation and Ali was just grateful that they still had some of the ear drops left over from the last ear infection Josie had endured in September. The redhead was still the kid who got sick the easiest and the most often. By far. Hers was the room where the humidifier and mister and fan and all of the various machines that helped sick kids breathe and heal and sleep ended up. Ali and Ashlyn just stopped putting them away anymore. They now lived in Josie’s room, all lined up side by side on one of her bookshelves, ready to be called into action again.

Ashlyn padded quietly down the hallway towards the front of the house and silently opened Josie’s bedroom door like the well-trained ninja mom that she was. She heard the fan and peeked inside. Once her eyes adjusted to the dim light coming from the Belle nightlight, from Beauty & the Beast, that Josie still loved, even though she was a big 10-year old girl now who was just as fascinated by teenagers and all of the dolls that were aimed at that next step for young tween girls - the current versions of the Bratz and Monster High and Moxie Girlz and Prettie Girls and Shibajuku dolls that Ashlyn could remember Meg playing with back when she was Josie’s age – the keeper could see that the fan was pointed into the corner of the room and not blowing on Josie at all. That’s how she knew the earache was bad. If her ears hurt a lot, the redhead liked to have the sound of the fan in the room. She said, in her dramatic way, that it made the sound of the pain inside her head less loud that way. The keeper stepped into the room to check on her daughter and saw, out of the corner of her eye, Ali asleep on top of the spare twin bed by the front window. Mystery solved. She paused for a minute and took in the sight of her beautiful wife, her dark hair splashed across the pillow sham and her legs covered in pink unicorn pajama pants – her most recent Mother’s Day gift from the kids. There was a small, thin blanket across her upper body as she laid on her left side, facing the room. Ashlyn giggled when she realized it was a swaddling blanket from one of the baby dolls Josie loved to mother. It was just big enough to cover Ali’s torso but not much more. The soft foam baby in the small wooden cradle on the floor next to the twin bed was blanketless and the keeper knew her wife had just reached down and grabbed it blindly. Josie would not be pleased when she woke up. She made a point of meticulously covering up all four of the baby dolls that slept in her room with her each night.

“Hey, baby” Ashlyn whispered into her wife’s cheek as she placed a soft kiss there. “Come to bed” she rubbed Ali’s back and ran her hand through her soft hair. It was still a dicey thing to do – wake up Ali Krieger when she was sleeping, but the keeper knew she was uncomfortable and wouldn’t get a good sleep this way. “Come on honey, get up and come to bed...”

“Wha?” Ali’s eyes jumped open and she sucked in a breath as she tried to get her bearings.

“It’s ok, it’s just me” Ashlyn caressed her cheek with the back of her fingers and rubbed her shoulder and neck as she bent over the twin bed. “I’m home, let’s go to bed.”

“Josie’s drops” the brunette’s raspy voice replied. “12:15...” she yawned and sat up, letting the small blanket drop to her lap, useless.

“I’ll do it” Ashlyn’s voice was quiet and soothing and she smiled when her wife leaned her tired head against the keeper’s body. “It’s just a couple minutes away. I’ve got it. You go to bed” she bent and kissed the top of Ali’s head. “Which ear?”

“Left” Ali mumbled as she wrapped her arms around her wife’s waist. “You’re warm.”

The alarm on Ali’s phone went off after another minute in that same pose and Ashlyn reached down to the bed and shut it off.

“Go on, I’ll be there in a few minutes” she helped the brunette to her feet and walked her to the door, happy to see Ali keep going out into the hallway and towards their bedroom.

She smiled to herself as she got to Josie in her pink and purple princess bed with the sheer canopy and cadre of stuffed animals all around her. It was Ashlyn’s lucky night. The redhead was sleeping, mouth open as she tried to breathe, on her right side with her left ear up and easily accessible. There would be no wrestling her into a different position while trying not to wake her up. She chalked it up to the last bits of her birthday magic and counted her blessings as she carefully counted the drops into her daughter’s infected ear. She stood next to the bed to make sure Josie didn’t roll over before the drops had a chance to work their way into her ear canal. Ashlyn adjusted the covers for her, folding the sheet over the top of the blanket and tucking it under her chin – just the way she liked it. She moved some of the stuffed animals back into the places where Josie preferred them and then bent down and kissed her daughter’s red head.

“Goodnight Little one, I love you” she whispered before quietly leaving the room, grabbing Ali’s phone on her way. That would have been a disaster to leave behind.

As she walked down the hall, her heart was full. She had woken up that morning in the arms of the woman she loved. She had been lucky enough to go watch Meg and her teammates win a tough match against Wake Forest – a game that put them in a good position for the ACC tournament that was coming up in two weeks. And she had come home to her beautiful family, getting to love up her two sleepy girls, and Logan, before ending her birthday the way it had begun – in the arms of her amazing wife. 

Ali had wished her a happy birthday that morning and then sent her a picture and a couple of gifs during the day. But there had been no birthday card waiting for her when she got home. There was no birthday sex – but after the day Ali had gone through the keeper wasn’t really surprised by that. As she climbed into bed she noted, for the second night in a row, that Ali was turned on her side facing away from her. Ashlyn was about to spoon her again but changed her mind as she thought more about the less than enthusiastic birthday love she had received from her wife. Before she could really work her mind around whether or not she was being oversensitive and making a problem where there wasn’t really a problem, the keeper fell asleep.

What she didn’t know was that Ali was thinking hard too. The brunette’s last thoughts before falling back asleep were about her wife and how much she had missed her all day. Part of it was selfish because it had been a tough day with the kids. But part of it was that she wanted to shower Ashlyn with love and attention on her birthday. She felt petty and stupid for reacting like a spoiled child, but she couldn’t help it. She was hurt that Ashlyn had chosen to spend her first birthday without any NWSL obligations at Meg’s game with Hannah. There was no way around it. She was sad that the kids had asked her about moving Mama’s party to the next day. Ali tried her best to make it a non-issue and the kids, even Drew, finally stopped asking about it. She was angry that both Sydney and Kyle thought she was justified in being upset. She didn’t want to be justified. She didn’t want to be right. She didn’t want any of that and she resented her two closest confidants for amplifying that part of her struggle on Sunday.

All Ali wanted was for her hurt feelings to go away, fast. She was tired as fuck of fighting with her wife. She was sick of feeling needy and disappointed and weak. She just did not have it in her to have another blow-up with Ashlyn. She prayed to wake up feeling ok with her keeper’s choice so she could truly celebrate her birthday tomorrow with the kids.

//

The brunette pulled it off, helping the kids give Ashlyn a wonderful birthday the next day. Ali just focused on the task at hand and did her best to push through her messy, inconvenient feelings. Fake it til you make it was not her favorite mantra, at all. But she had to admit there were times when it was the best course of action. Ashlyn flew back down to Houston on Tuesday with Jonathan Kraft so they could participate in the annual NWSL owners’ meeting. The rest of the team flew down Wednesday and did their best to focus on winning the Championship game that Saturday evening. 

Ali stayed home for Championship Week this year, letting Jen Tucker and the other agents spread their Knight-Harris magic far and wide. It had been planned out that way as soon as the Breakers had qualified for the playoffs. She and Ashlyn had come up with a contingency plan for how to get the kids to the big game without causing too much disruption to everybody’s schedule. The answer was that Ali would fly back and forth with them to each weekend of Championship Week. At the time, it had been an easy trade-off for the brunette to make because she thought she was getting Ashlyn home with them on Sunday the 19th and Monday the 20th. She had given up her opportunity to spend time with her wife as they usually did during Championship Week in order to have the birthday celebration that the kids had been hoping for. 

The Krieger kids weren’t happy to be missing their second weekend in a row of soccer games, and football game in addition for Dodge. Ali put her foot down and called a halt to all the whining Friday night as they finished up story time just before bed. She had let everyone gather on her bed in the master bedroom because they were all missing Mama on their fourth night without her. 

“That’s enough guys. We’re going and it’s gonna be great so just get over it” she gave each of the four children a challenging look. “Don’t you wanna be there to see the team win the Championship? They’ve worked so hard all season long to get to this final game and I can’t wait to watch them. I know we’re kind of spoiled because they’ve been there so many times in the last few years, but it isn’t always like this. Sometimes a team goes for...ever without getting to the Championship game...”

“Like who?” Drew asked, genuinely curious. He enjoyed going to these events and games more than the other kids did and his moms thought it was just because he was older and allowed a bit more freedom than the rest.

“Well, there are 20 teams in the league and some of them have never ever been to the Final game. Not ever” she stalled as she thought quickly. “Like Minnesota, and New York, and Toronto, and San Jose, and Colorado...”

“Yeah but those are all the new teams” Drew challenged with a frown.

“New York isn’t really new. They were Sky Blue before and they never made it to the big game either” Ali replied. “And look at Washington” she continued, “they made it to the Final game once, way back in 2016 and still haven’t been back since. That’s exactly my point, right there.”

“What is?” Lily asked, tilting her head and trying to follow along.

“That it’s been 15 years and the Spirit still haven’t made it back to the Championship. So you just never know. It could be 15 years before the Breakers ever make it back again too.”

“15 years?” Dodge asked, exaggerating the enormous number with wide eyes. “That’s a long time.”

“It sure is” Ali chuckled. “And that’s why when our team gets there we do everything we can to support them, right?”

“Right!” Josie joined in, finally feeling better after taking several days to get rid of her ear infection.

“Ok, it’s gonna be an early morning so get to sleep, all of you monkeys” she guided them off of the big bed and into the hallway. “Grandma will be here when you wake up and then we’ll all go to the airport” she explained the plan for the tenth time that day. “Lily don’t forget to pee. And Drew I don’t want you on your kindle tonight. You need to try and go right to sleep or you’ll never get up.”

“Aw mom...” he whined.

“Or you can whine about it and not take it on the trip at all” she quirked her eyebrow at the eldest of the bunch, reminding him that she needed him to set a good example for the younger kids.

“No, fine” he spoke quickly. “Here, take it” he shoved it towards his mother as they all moved through the hallway together.

“Thank you” she gave him a genuine smile that made him grin in return. “That’s my guy.”

Meanwhile down in Houston, Ashlyn was missing her family a lot. As was typical at Championship Week, there were dozens of friends and former teammates around to catch up with and reconnect with. The keeper could have filled every hour of each day doing just that, in addition to her owner’s meeting and media day schedule and other Knight-Harris appointments that she had made. But she made a point to slow down and spend some time reflecting on her first full year as an NWSL owner and what it meant to her and her family. She was as proud as she’d ever been of anything in her career – and she was finally starting to feel comfortable in her new role. But something was missing that week, besides just the presence of her wonderful wife. Ashlyn had a hollow feeling in her stomach that she couldn’t fill no matter how much she ate. She did her best to try and figure out if she was having some strange revisitation of grief over Bob Kraft not being alive to see this latest Breakers success story. She wondered if she was grieving her own playing career again – which would really be odd after all this time. She thought of several different things but none of them felt accurate that week. She finally called Whitney Friday afternoon, not sure what else to do to settle her anxious mind.

“Hey bestie, how are you?”

“Hey Ash, good. What are you doing? Aren’t you supposed to be in some high-powered owners meeting or something fancy like that?” the lawyer teased without skipping a beat. 

“Ha ha, yeah” Ashlyn chuckled. “I’ve got a little bit of free time between breakfast at the Ritz and lunch on LeBron’s private yacht” she joked back, referencing LeBron James, the owner of the Columbus Chargers from Ohio. “I thought I’d see how you peasants are doing.”

“Ooh, is his yacht bigger than Katy Perry’s?” Whitney laughed as she name-dropped the owner of the San Jose, CA team.

“Nah, she’s a California girl like you” the keeper teased. “She’s got a lot more ocean to cover than he does in Cleveland.”

“Absolutely right” Whitney agreed with a grin. “So what’s up buttercup?”

“Oh nothing, you know, just checking in...”

“You are the worst liar ever in the history of liars” the lawyer sighed into the phone, but her voice was still light. “What’s the matter?”

Ashlyn spent ten minutes trying to explain what she’d been feeling for the past few days and when she was finished the woman who knew her better than anybody except her own wife spoke softly into the phone.

“You’re an idiot. I love you, but honestly Ash, why are you calling me when you know you should be talking to Ali?”

“What do you mean? Is something wrong? Are the kids ok?” Ashlyn’s voice filled with anxiety as the words flew quickly from her lips.

“No, no no” Whitney reassured her just as quickly. “Everything’s fine. Josie’s ear is even all better now.”

“Oh good” the keeper exhaled loudly. “So what are you trying to say Whit?”

“She’s been moping around here all week, avoiding me – that’s how I always know there’s trouble between you two...”

“What? How do you figure that?”

“She avoids me when she’s mad at you or you’re mad at her” Whitney shrugged. “She doesn’t wanna put me in the middle.”

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a long minute as Ashlyn thought hard about what her best friend had just said.

“Did she say anything to you...about what I did?”

“What part of avoiding me did you not understand exactly?” Whitney giggled. “Why? What did you do?”

After talking for another half hour Ashlyn’s head was spinning.

“So she had a whole surprise party planned for me on my birthday?” the keeper’s voice was flat and subdued as guilt washed over her.

“Yeah, you didn’t know?”

“Hello? What part of surprise party do you not understand exactly?”

“Right, ok so you didn’t know. I never know” the lawyer defended herself. “Sometimes the surprise part of these things is just for the kids. You know how it is. My bad.”

Ashlyn did know what her bestie meant. Often times both parents knew well in advance of any surprises coming their way. It was kind of inevitable in a way. It was hard to pull off a true surprise with kids around, for a number of different reasons.

“That explains a lot Whit” Ashlyn swallowed hard as she thought back to the less than enthusiastic reception she had received late on her birthday night. “A whole lot. Damn” she groaned as the pieces started to fall into place. “And now I know why we haven’t had birthday sex yet either...”

“And that’s more than I needed to know” Whitney sighed and then chuckled. “But I know how you guys, uh, make that a priority” she giggled again. “6 days later and still a no-go huh? Ouch.”

“Well I’ve been down here!” Ashlyn tried to explain away the delay. “We only had Sunday night and Monday night...”

“And you were where on your birthday again?” the lawyer needled her friend, trying to keep it light and joking.

“Ugh, in North Carolina with Hannah and Meg.”

“Yep, 6 days sounds about right then” Whitney chuckled. “Who knows? Maybe longer still?”

“God, I hope not” Ashlyn sighed heavily. “Ok, I gotta go. I’ve got things to do.”

“Have fun on the yacht” the lawyer joked. “Tell LeBron I said hi.”

“Will do, you weirdo” Ashlyn laughed and then her voice was sincere and soft. “Thanks Whit. As usual, you’re saving my ass again.”

//

The Breakers beat Vancouver to win the NWSL Championship the next day and all of the Boston fans were ecstatic. The celebration from a week earlier paled in comparison to the spectacle that was taking place on the field after winning the Championship Cup. Ashlyn brought Ali and the kids down with her so they could experience it first-hand. The keeper had been particularly attentive since her family had arrived just before noon-time that day. She was always extra sweet after being away from the kids for a few days, but this seemed over and above even that.

“Something tells me she’s figured it out” Deb winked at her daughter when they were alone for a few minutes in the suite before the game started.

“Mom, there’s nothing to figure out. I don’t want her to feel bad about it. If she’s realized something’s not right then I’ve done a bad job being a grown-up about it” Ali argued with a frown. “Shame on me.”

“Oh honey, living with a martyr is no fun for anybody. Keep that in mind baby girl.”

That little pearl of wisdom made the brunette think harder and from a different perspective than she had all week long. Just what she didn’t want. Ali was almost over it. If not for the fact that it was Hannah on the other end of things she probably would have been completely over it already. But Deb had just made her go all the way back to think about Ashlyn’s birthday change of plans again.

When Ashlyn came back to the suite after making the rounds during halftime, she pulled her wife into a side hug and kissed her temple.

“Can we talk later, after the game?”

“I don’t wanna jinx anything babe, but if you’ve been paying attention you know we’re gonna be celebrating after the game” Ali grinned up at her wife, happy to be close and happier still to be feeling that way at all.

“Ok, but before we go to sleep...I just wanna talk for a few minutes, ok?”

Instead of replying, Ali tilted her head up and kissed her wife’s cheek, squeezing her side at the same time and then giving it a loving pat. Ashlyn had her yes.

Later that night, after the celebration with confetti and fireworks on the pitch, and after the party for the families back at the hotel, and after the kids were asleep in their beds, Ashlyn and Ali walked hand in hand to a small diner a few blocks from the hotel. It was chilly for Houston, a cool 63 degrees at 9pm, and the two New Englanders loved how warm it felt to them. 

“Do you want to keep walking? Or do you want to stop and have a piece of the best peach pie I’ve ever had in my life?” Ashlyn asked her wife as they approached the diner. “Don’t tell Carol I said that.”

As they sat across the booth from each other, sharing a piece of peach pie, pecan pie, and French silk pie because they couldn’t make up their minds on just two, Ashlyn sat back and admired the most beautiful woman on the planet. Something about a gorgeous woman enjoying her food always made the keeper feel things. But that night, it went deeper than that. Ali had been receptive to all of her sweet gestures all day long so it was obvious to the keeper that her wife wasn’t angry with her. The brunette had been quite loving back, returning the touches and kisses in kind and allowing Ashlyn to dote on her. The behavior confused the keeper but encouraged her at the same time.

“I’m really glad your mom’s here” she quipped as she went for another bite of peach pie, making sure to get some vanilla ice cream on her fork too. “This would have been a lot less fun without pie.”

“Oh God, this is the best French silk pie I’ve ever eaten” Ali moaned as she pulled the empty fork away from her lips.

“Not better than yours though, right?” Ashlyn checked, just to be sure.

“No, it’s better than mine” Ali nodded and giggled. “I can admit it.” 

They ate pie and made small talk, mostly catching up on the kids, for a while and then, when there was no more pie left to distract them, Ashlyn cleared her throat.

“So, umm, I want to apologize to you” she bravely held her wife’s gaze and reached for her hand across the table.

“For what?” Ali tilted her head. 

She never dreamed Ashlyn would willingly bring up a potential fight-inducing topic of conversation then – after they’d had a hectic but wonderful afternoon and evening together. Things had been going so well that the brunette hadn’t felt those hurt feelings since arriving in Houston that morning, aside from the one reference her mother had made to the situation in the suite at the stadium before the game. She honestly thought her keeper was going to apologize for some silly little thing, like forgetting to call one of the potential K-H clients on her list that week.

“I feel kinda dumb bringing this up because you seem...ok with everything” she dropped her eyes for a second but lifted them up again quickly, determined not to drag this out. “But I’m sorry about messing up my birthday party” she squeezed her wife’s hand and knew the topic was still tender because Ali’s eyebrows went up to her hairline. “I had no idea honey, I wish you’d told me...I never would have gone to Meg’s game...”

It was Ali’s turn to drop her eyes and she did, blushing a bit at the same time. God. She had been so close to putting the whole thing behind her, so fucking close!

“Who told you?”

“Whit, but don’t be mad at her. She thought I already knew...”

“When did she tell you?”

“Ummm, today, this morning. Why? Does it matter?”

“No, I guess not” Ali sighed and felt tired again. “I was just curious.”

“I’m so sorry baby” Ashlyn’s voice was low and urgent as she leaned towards the middle of the table. “I don’t know what I was thinking” she shook her head, frustrated. “I wasn’t thinking, not about the right thing anyway. I’m really really sorry.”

“It’s ok...” Ali began, meeting her wife’s eyes again with a small smile. 

Ashlyn could see the change on her face since she had brought up her birthday. Ali’s carefree, relaxed, happy demeanor was now tense and troubled.

“I’m sorry I keep fucking things up” she interrupted the brunette. “I don’t...I’m not sure what’s going on with my stupid brain, but it doesn’t seem to be working very well this year” she sighed. “I started off this whole year a mess and, even though I’ve been working hard on things, I still feel like I’m fucking everything up” she admitted, surprising even herself with her candor. “And just when we got things fixed from September, here I go again...” she shook her head and closed her eyes for a few seconds, frustrated to be apologizing to her wife yet again.

“Ash, it’s ok” Ali tried to soothe her, reaching her other hand over to add to the first. She held onto the side of her wife’s hand, already holding her own, and rubbed gently across the back of it with her thumb. “I feel the same way, not about you fucking everything up” she added quickly when she saw Ashlyn’s face register shock. “I feel like we’ve spent more time apologizing to each other and trying to work our way out of one fight after another. And you’re right, it’s been all year long. And when we weren’t fighting with each other we were fighting with those asshole neighbors. I’m so tired of it” her shoulders slumped as her honest words reached the other side of the table. “I don’t wanna fight anymore. I’m sorry too.”

“I’m with you honey” Ashlyn gave her a soft smile and bent her head to kiss her wife’s hand on the table. “It’s been a helluva year, and we’ve still got two months left” she sighed but kept the smile on her face, happy to see a tiny one on her wife’s lips too. “But this one, this time right now? This one’s all on me” she shook her head as her voice got more serious. “I’ve been thinking about it all day and I still can’t believe I did that last weekend.”

“Ash, it was your birthday. The whole point of your birthday is to do something really special for yourself, something you really love” Ali’s voice was soft and tender. “I’m happy you got to go to Meg’s game because I know you really love doing that.”

“Yeah, but that’s not right” she shook her head again and straightened up a bit, never letting go of her wife’s hand. “I’m a grown-up, a mom. I turned 46 years old for God’s sake. And what did I do? I flew off without any notice and left my wife alone to fly home with our kids. It just wasn’t good, not any part of it Al. I didn’t see it at the time because apparently I’m a moron this year” she shrugged her shoulders and exhaled a frustrated breath. “But I see it now and I’m so...”

“Stop saying you’re sorry” Ali tugged on her hand and chuckled. “I know you are. I get it. Thank you for apologizing and for saying all of that. It means a lot.”

“Why didn’t you say anything though?” the keeper cocked her head to the side, waiting for the answer that had been evading her all day long. “Why didn’t you just tell me you had a birthday party planned? I would have just told Hannah no.”

“Well, you didn’t ask me” Ali explained, her voice shy and quieter than it had been. “You just kind of told me what you were doing and that was that” she shrugged.

“See, I don’t buy that” Ashlyn squinted and shook her head at her wife. “There’ve been a million times when I mess up the schedule and you correct me, and thank God you do, don’t get me wrong” she clarified. “It’s one of your super powers and I appreciate the hell out of it” the keeper chuckled. “But I don’t understand why you didn’t help me out last weekend. It almost feels like...I don’t know, like a set-up or something.”

Ali frowned when she heard the words and shook her head.

“You think I purposefully let you go be with Hannah instead of spending your birthday with our kids...because why?” 

The answer Ashlyn needed was right there in her wife’s clipped words. All she had to do was find it.

“No, no, that’s not what I mean” she floundered, set off-balance by the brunette’s response that had been much sharper than anything else she had said so far. She ran Ali’s words back through her brain again as her nerves started firing up. She could feel her wife’s mood changing swiftly. “Why didn’t you just tell me about the party Al?”

“I don’t know. I really, don’t know.”

They were both quiet for a couple of minutes and Ali pulled her hand back, but Ashlyn wouldn’t let the other one go. She felt desperate to keep that physical connection. As they both sat and thought, the lightbulb finally went off in the keeper’s head. This was about Hannah again. Jesus fucking Christ. Ashlyn felt her temper start to flare but she was able to get it under control before it became unruly. She worked her brain hard, trying to figure out what she could possibly do about the Hannah problem. Ashlyn had spent 15 years resenting the Hannah problem in her life. It had been a sore spot between she and her wife the whole time, and had bubbled up into a real issue on several occasions. As she sat there in that diner booth the keeper could hear her Gram’s voice, clear as a bell.

‘Marriage is about love but it’s also about compromise and sacrifice. And you can’t ever forget that Bashy. No matter how much you love your wife, and no matter how much she loves you, you’re going to have to learn how to meet each other half way. That’s the real secret to a long and happy marriage.’

It had been one of the last few pieces of advice her Gram had ever given her back when she was losing her battle with breast cancer and Ashlyn had spent so much time with her down in Florida. Why the hell was she thinking about that right now though? She and Ali had always been good about compromising. Ashlyn was the best at it because she was more laidback and didn’t care so much about the precise way everything was done around the house, for example. If there was one thing the keeper was sure she had done a good job of so far in their marriage it was letting Ali have her way far more often than not. Almost anybody that knew the couple would vouch for her too.

“We should get back” Ali’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “It’s late.”

As they walked back to the hotel in silence, Ashlyn was just grateful that Ali had let her hold her hand along the way. She knew the brunette didn’t want to fight any more than she did. But there was something there that Ashlyn just couldn’t let go. The more she thought about Ali and Hannah and Meg and Gram with every step she took, the closer she got to figuring it out. Finally, a block away from the hotel, Ashlyn stopped walking and tugged her wife to a stop too, making Ali turn around to face her with confusion on her face. Ashlyn wasn’t sure she had it all worked out yet, but she knew she was onto something and it had to do with Hannah and her constant role in their lives.

“I never asked you...about Hannah” she blurted out, her excited words not making much sense yet. “I mean, you never got a say in how much she’s still a part of our family. I just...” she shrugged dramatically as her idea began to make more and more sense to her, “...told you that Hannah and I were gonna keep raising Meg and that was that. I never gave you a choice. I never even asked you Al. Oh my God, I’m such an asshole” her words sounded odd when paired with the excited smile on her face. She was so relieved to have figured it out.

“What are you talking about? I told you from the beginning I was on board with you keeping Meg in your life” Ali frowned, trying to keep up with the blonde.

“Yes, exactly. You signed on for Meg, not Hannah. Of course, that’s it! Why am I so dumb sometimes?” she laughed and then groaned. “Don’t you see?”

“Not really, no” Ali shook her head, feeling more tired than anything else. Except maybe full – she had definitely eaten too much pie.

“Listen, I know I’m saying this all weird but just...trust me for a second.” Ashlyn took a big breath and tried to explain what she was talking about. “When you wanted to be friends with Sarah you came to me and asked me about it. You gave me a choice. You even offered to not see her anymore and end the friendship after a couple of years when I got weird about something, I don’t even remember what now. But you told me that I was the most important thing and that if your friendship with Sarah made me uncomfortable then it wasn’t worth it to you to risk that. Do you remember?”

“Yes, but...”

“And Sam! That fucker” Ashlyn’s whole body was into the discovery now. “You said the same thing with him. If it bothered me then you’d find a way not to see him so much at school and everyplace else...”

“Well, that was different...”

“Yeah, he was an asshole but that’s not the point right now” Ashlyn rambled on. “The point is that both of the people that I felt insecure about or unsure of with you, you came to me and talked to me about it and offered to cut them out of your life – for me. I didn’t have to ask you to do that, you just did all the work for me and made it easy for me to say yes or no and even to change my mind.”

“Well, I’m not raising a child with either of them so I still don’t see how this is the same as your relationship with Hannah” Ali frowned but was intrigued by the concept Ashlyn was working on.

“I never once gave you an option to say yes or no to Hannah. That’s what I’m saying hon. God, I was so selfish about it, all this time” she shook her head in wonderment at her own lack of consideration. “No wonder you’ve been jealous of her all along...”

That got Ali’s attention. It was absolutely true, but she took umbrage at the way Ashlyn just tossed the fact around so lightly.

“Let’s not get carried away now...”

“Oh, Al, you’re jealous of everybody” Ashlyn cocked her head and gave her wife a sweet smile as she reached for and held both her hands, swinging them a bit between their bodies. “I know you don’t like that about yourself so you don’t talk about it very much, but I know it’s true. I love you so much, but you’re jealous as hell of Hannah, aren’t you?”

Ali felt her cheeks blush under the intense scrutiny and dropped her eyes. Maybe it was the earnest look on her wife’s adorable face. Maybe it was the fact that she was worn down from so many miscommunications and misunderstandings with her wife that year. Whatever the reason, Ali heard herself start to confess something she had been trying so hard to handle on her own since Meg had moved to Boston for college.

“I never used to be, I knew you weren’t interested in her like that” she spoke softly, keeping her eyes down, embarrassed. “I really was ok with her for a long time.”

“But...” Ashlyn gently prodded her.

“But since Meg’s been up here...” she took one last pause before spilling the truth only Sydney knew, “...it’s been driving me crazy, especially during soccer season. I’m sorry” she shook her head, chin still down and cheeks burning red.

“Baby, why didn’t you tell me?” the keeper gave her wife a hug and spoke close to her ear. “I could have helped or something...”

“There’s nothing anybody can do though. It’s just me and my head and my fucked-up issue” Ali held her wife tightly, relieved to have the truth finally out there even if there wasn’t anything Ashlyn could do about it.

“That’s not true though. I’ve been spending tons of time with her at Meg’s games. I fucking spent my birthday with her!” Ashlyn pulled back and gave her wife a completely shocked face. “There’s no way I would have done any of that if I’d known it was bothering you. You know that, right?”

“I guess” Ali sighed, still unconvinced that there was any solution besides her steeling her will against her own jealous streak.

“Al, listen. I’m telling you right now – and I’m sorry I wasn’t smart enough to say this sooner, but if you don’t want me to see so much of Hannah I will stop spending so much time with her.”

“But how are you gonna do that?” Ali lifted her eyes for the first time in what felt like forever to the keeper. “We all go to Meg’s home games, at least as many as humanly possible. And I don’t want you to stop going to her away games just because I have a freakish jealousy problem. That’s not fair to you or Meg.”

“Well, we’ll figure that all out ok? But there are a bunch of things I can do, or stop doing, right away. And I would have stopped doing them last year – has this been going on since LAST year?”

“Kind of, but not really” Ali admitted shyly. “I sent you to most of the road games last year. I made you go, so I’m just as much to blame.”

“Oh baby, you’re killing me” Ashlyn wrapped her wife up in another hug, turning it into a side hug so they could walk the last block to the hotel and go to sleep. “We are going to talk about this a lot more. But for right now, for tonight, just know that I’m really sorry for not realizing any of this sooner. I’m sorry.”

“You’re not a mind-reader” Ali sighed and leaned into her wife’s strong body. “I should have told you I was having a hard time. It’s on me, not you.”

“So you keep dodging this question and it’s driving me nuts” the keeper chuckled. “Why didn’t you tell me about my birthday party?”

They walked on for several more steps before Ali’s small voice finally answered.

“I guess I wanted you to pick us just for us, not because we were having a party for you” she shrugged and felt ridiculous and immature as she spoke the words. “I know how stupid that sounds. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to me either, trust me.”

Ashlyn’s heart broke as her wife spoke, sounding more vulnerable than the keeper could remember.

“It does make sense though” Ashlyn squeezed her and kissed her head as they moved into the hotel lobby. “I love you so much” she choked out as her emotions fought for control of her throat. “I’ll always choose you and the kids honey, always. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking last weekend. I just wasn’t thinking at all I guess” she sighed sadly and shook her head. 

They stood together in their side-hug, waiting for the elevator and for their latest burst of feelings to steady. It took several minutes and some meaningful squeezes and pats, but when the elevator door opened on their floor they both seemed to be lighter.

“God I’m happy we’re finally talking about this” the keeper smiled and Ali could hear the lightness in her voice. She turned to look at the blonde.

“Why are you so happy about all of this? It’s like my greatest shame, the thing I hate the most about myself, and you’re all smiley about it” Ali frowned but couldn’t help but smile along with her wife. She was more curious than upset and was relieved because of it. “What gives?”

Ashlyn turned to face her wife and gave her smiling lips a soft, sweet kiss. As they pulled back and blinked lovingly at each other, the keeper explained.

“This is gonna sound terrible, but I’m so happy that I’m not the only one whose brain fucks them up every once in a while.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How freaking great did Ashlyn play Tuesday night??!! I was so happy for her. She is so clearly the best keeper on the team and should be starting every damned game. If Jill refuses to see it then the woso media better start asking her about it and calling her on her bullshit. The team, especially that shaky backline, needs Ashlyn's experience and confidence back there. That's all there is to it.


	34. Meg & Matilda & the Eagles

Ashlyn and Lily were changing the sheets on Meg’s bed before the young keeper spent the weekend at the big old house, the weekend after the Championship Game. BC had won their first game in the ACC tournament Thursday night, Oct. 30th, down in Cary, NC and had to fly back down on Thursday this coming week for their second-round game on Friday Nov 7th. There were only 8 teams in the ACC so it wasn’t like they were dominating the entire NCAA pool or anything, but still, it was a tough conference and 5th ranked BC had played really well to beat 4th ranked Duke in round one. They would need their best effort of the season if they were going to beat #1 ranked Notre Dame Friday night. The winner of that game would go on to compete in the ACC Championship game on Sunday Nov 9th. 

Meg, like any collegiate athlete in season, crashed hard when she had some time off. She caught up on some school work on Friday after flying back from NC with the team, and then drove to the big old house that same night. It was Halloween but, for the first time, Meg couldn’t have cared less. All she wanted to do was rest her body and feed her belly. And sleep. There could never be enough sleeping as she tried to help her muscles recover. Luckily for Meg, the Kriegers understood what she was going through and what she needed and were more than happy to help. Ali cooked her favorite foods and Ashlyn made sure the fridge and pantry were stocked with extra of everything. And it took both supermoms to tackle the sophomore’s laundry that weekend. 

It was Friday afternoon, Halloween, and all the kids were excited about their big night ahead. Ali had come home from work early and was downstairs making arrangements for pizza for their early dinner while Ashlyn hurried up to the third floor to change Meg’s bed. Lily, too excited about trick or treating to stay still, followed her Mama upstairs and offered to help. As was often the case, she wasn’t very helpful and actually made the chore take longer. But Ashlyn remained patient and told herself to just calm down and relax. Halloween wasn’t going anywhere. It didn’t matter if it took her 30 minutes to change the bed instead of 15. Just settle down.

“Ok, fold the sheet down on your side” the keeper stood near the head of the bed on the other side, waiting to fold the sheet down over the top of the blanket so they could throw the comforter on top of it all and be done with it. “Just like this, see?”

“Yay! Meggie will love her new sheets” Lily enthused, confusing for some reason clean sheets for new sheets. “And I can’t wait to tell her I helped!”

As Ashlyn took care of the comforter and the pillows to finish the bed, Lily let her curious little fingers explore the nightstand on her side of the bed.

“Why does she have so many pens in this drawer anyway?”

“Probably so she can write things down when she thinks of them” Ashlyn shrugged. “Why do you have pens in your nightstand drawer you big silly?” she chuckled.

“I don’t know” Lily giggled and kept digging through the drawer. “What’s this thing?”

Ashlyn took a few seconds to bring her attention over to her 8-1/2 year old daughter’s question, plumping the pillows on the bed and bending down to pick up the dirty sheets from the floor first. She felt panic rising in her chest when she saw what Lily was holding and studying in her hands.

“Oh, umm...” she stammered and tried to think of what to say. She took too long and Lily turned to look at her Mama, making Ashlyn even more uncomfortable. “That’s a...” she stalled and then felt like she was going to die from embarrassment when Lily’s little fingers found the button that made the pink, cylindrical object vibrate. The girl giggled at the strange sensation in her hand. “Umm...it’s a massager, for her sore muscles. Yeah. Turn it off and put it back.”

“Aw, it tickles” Lily giggled again and grinned up at Ashlyn. “Try it” she held it out towards the keeper, just being her sweet and adorable self.

“No thanks” Ashlyn shook her head and moved to the foot of the bed so they could go downstairs and never speak of this moment ever again. “Put it back” she nodded and gave her daughter a look that told her she was serious. “Hurry up. Meg probably doesn’t want us messing with her things, does she?”

“No, she doesn’t like it” Lily answered in a serious voice as she pressed the button a few more times before the vibrator finally shut off. “I wanna look in that drawer” she looked over at the other nightstand.

“No, come on Lil, let’s go” Ashlyn walked to the door and turned to wait for the girl. “Don’t you want to go get into your costume for Halloween?”

It wasn’t until much later that night that Ashlyn had the chance to tell her wife what had happened up in Meg’s room with Lily. The kids, including Ethan Machado who continued to celebrate Halloween with the Kriegers every year, were all in bed and the two moms weren’t going to be up too much longer either. It was 10:30pm and Meg had been asleep up in her room for hours and nobody expected to see much of her before tomorrow morning when she got hungry again.

“Oh my God that’s hysterical!” the brunette laughed out loud as they sat together on the family room couch with Logan snuggled between them. “Did you die? I wish I had seen that, oh babe, that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time.”

“Yeah, well I’m glad you think it’s funny...”

“What’s funny?” Meg asked through a lazy yawn as she shuffled into the family room from the dark dining room. She had come down the front stairs and followed the voices as she tried to wake herself all the way up. “Why is it so dark down here?”

“We’re about to go to bed, that’s why” Ali replied, trying hard not to laugh at the redhead’s impeccable timing. “Are you hungry honey? You want me to heat up some mostaccioli for you?” the brunette asked as she got up and moved towards the kitchen, hoping to make the impending conversation a little bit more private for both women.

“Yeah, that’d be a good snack” she yawned again and sat on the coffee table in front of the couch so she could pat the dog who was wiggling her little nub of a tail as fast as she could. “So what was so funny?”

“Well...” Ashlyn looked as if she was in pain as she tried to find the courage to talk to her step-daughter about her sex toy. “Umm...Lily and I were changing your bed this afternoon...”

“Oh, yeah, thanks for that” Meg grinned as she took Ali’s spot on the couch. “Such excellent service here” she teased.

“You’re welcome. But here’s the thing...ummm...Lily was messing around with your nightstand and she opened your drawer...”

“Did I paw through all of your stuff when I was that age? God, they’re all so nosy” she chuckled. “Cute, but nosy.”

“You did get your nose into a few places it didn’t belong” Ashlyn smiled at the memory, “but that was usually in the pantry. You always loved the pantry.”

“Here you go” Ali handed the redhead a bowl of baked mostaccioli and a glass of milk and started to walk away again, but Ashlyn grabbed her wrist and pulled her back into the conversation.

“Thank you. Yummm...”

“Did you get to the funny part yet?” Ali cocked her head at her wife as she sat on the arm of the couch, right next to Ashlyn. 

Ali was typically more shy than Ashlyn in almost any situation, but for some reason Meg’s vibrator didn’t stress the brunette out as much as it did her wife. Perhaps it was because Ali and Meg had already worked their way through an incredibly awkward conversation about sex last year. Ali would never forget the phone call when Meg asked for advice about having sex for the very first time. They had already discussed the redhead’s vibrator so now the topic didn’t sound so embarrassing to Ali. She was watching with amusement as her wife struggled to even begin the conversation.

“No, listen Meg, Lily found your...ummm...your...”

Both Meg and Ali watched the blonde’s pink face, waiting for her to finish an actual sentence.

“Oh for God’s sake” Ali rolled her eyes and chuckled. “Lily found your vibrator and asked Ash what it was” she explained through another laugh, even though she had tried hard to keep a straight face.

“Oh” Meg’s eyes went wide and she tried to focus on the bowl of food in front of her. “Sorry” she mumbled and blushed deep red.

“It’s ok kiddo” Ashlyn winced at the familiar nickname that she used on many of the kids, but especially with Meg. There was nothing kidlike about 19-year old Meg and her vibrator. “Sorry” she exhaled as Ali giggled again. “Why is this so hard?” she groaned into her hands as she covered her face.

“What Ashlyn is trying to say, I think” Ali quirked her eyebrow at her wife and smiled at Meg, “is that it’s ok for you to bring any of your things home with you. Obviously. This is your house too and that’s your bedroom, except when we borrow it for a guest room...”

“But you’ve gotta hide stuff like that better” Ashlyn all of a sudden found her voice, surprising both women. “That’s all. You said it yourself, the kids are always into your stuff. And I’m pretty sure you don’t want any of them messing with...that.”

It was quiet for a minute and then Meg started to giggle and was soon joined by both of her step-moms. 

“I would have paid money to see your face” the redhead giggled around a mouthful of pasta. “Oh my God that would have been too funny!”

Ashlyn giggled for another few seconds and then laughed even harder.

“It was just a shock, you know? We went from talking about pens to...sex toys, and I just wasn’t ready” she explained through her laughter. “Soooo not ready.”

They sat in a comfortable silence for a couple of minutes, each woman grinning and thinking about something different.

“You know, if you wanna hear a funny story, Drew found Ali’s favorite dildo once when he was about...one? Is that right hon?” the keeper looked up at her wife for confirmation.

“Yeah, he was still learning to talk, remember?” Ali giggled. “He kept calling it a ball...”

“Ok, thanks for the snack” Meg stood up quickly, her face redder than it had been before. She looked like she would rather die than hear one more word about Ali and Ashlyn’s sex toys. “I’m just gonna go...yeah, just go...” she started to walk fast towards the kitchen.

“Oh so we’re supposed to be ok with your vibrator and be able to talk to you about it like adults but you can’t even take one funny story about ours?” Ashlyn challenged as her face broke into a huge smile watching Meg practically run from the room. “That’s not fair. That’s some bullshit is what that is” the keeper continued to tease until Meg was all the way into the kitchen.

“You forgot your milk!” Ali called after her and then fell giggling into her wife’s lap.

“That’s alright, I don’t need it, I’ll go buy more!” Meg’s strained voice reached the women from the kitchen, causing them both to laugh even harder.

After a few minutes more, Meg jogged into the room, face still pink, and grabbed her milk before jogging right back out.

“It’s too bad” Ashlyn shook her head as they watched her go. “That’s the funniest story and we can’t really tell anybody about it.”

“I told Syd and Kyle” Ali admitted with an eek face.

“Yeah, I told Whit and Niki too” they both laughed again.

“I’ll bet Logan wants to hear the story though, don’t you pretty girl?” Ashlyn made goo-goo faces at the dog next to her on the couch who loved every second of it. “Yes you do, I know you do. What a good girl...”

//

The house across the street, which everybody in the neighborhood continued to call ‘Old Mrs. Ornstein’s house’, was still vacant as the month of November began. It had been two years ago that November that the nasty Pitmans had moved in and nobody missed them now that they were gone. Although, on their very best days, some of the most charitable people in the neighborhood would give those assholes credit for bringing them all a bit closer together. If the neighborhood hadn’t rallied against the shitty new neighbors, they wouldn’t have learned even more about each other. They didn’t all just magically love one another now though. The old squabbles were still there, but they almost seemed welcome compared to the extreme harassment and fear that the Pitmans had introduced into the neighborhood. 

Nobody really knew for sure what had become of the Pitmans, aside from Andy who was in prison. Ali was grateful that the family had been forced to move in September, at the beginning of the school year. She hoped that would make sweet little Bella’s life a bit easier. The brunette thought often about the girl from across the street who didn’t seem to fit in with the rest of her awful family. How did that happen? It caused Ali a lot of worry when she let herself think about it. Ashlyn worried about Bella too, but she had found it necessary to block the whole terrible family out of her mind to get past the horror of what Andy had done to Persey and Logan. Poor Persey. 

The idea that Bella was stuck with such a disgusting family really bothered Ali. It wasn’t until she was reading Roald Dahl’s book, ‘Matilda’, with Dodge and Lily that October that she started to entertain hope for young, kind Bella Pitman and her future. The brunette sat on the couch in the front living room one evening with Dodge on her left and Lily on her right. She held the hardcover book in her lap and allowed the kids to take turns flipping the pages as they read the story together. They were reading a particularly unflattering passage about Matilda’s unsavory father. 

“Whoa, that dad is a jerk” Dodge commented bluntly, making an alarmed face at the illustration on the page in front of them.

“The mom is too though” Lily’s eyes were wide as she exchanged looks with her twin brother. “Only the little girl is good” she shook her head at the sad state of affairs in the Wormwood family. “Just like Bella.”

The sudden familiarity of the story hit Ali right between the eyes and she felt foolish for not seeing it sooner. She had read Matilda herself when she was a girl and loved it. It had seemed so nonsensical to her at the time though, because her own life experiences were nothing like those described in the book. Matilda had two shitty parents, a crooked car-dealer father and a bingo-holic mother who both treated her like a nuisance at best, and an older brother who wasn’t much better. Just like Bella Pitman did. In the end of the book, Matilda’s parents skip town because the police are closing in on her father for selling stolen cars. Bella’s father was a smarmy salesman who actually did get caught by the police and went to prison. The similarities were uncanny and made Ali’s mind race with possibilities. She hoped that there was a kind and good Miss Honey in Bella’s life who would rescue the girl from her crap family. She hoped that Bella could find a way to keep her own goodness intact until that rescue could happen.

“Trunchbull is the worst though” Dodge’s face was still serious.

“Yeah, all the grown-ups are bad” Lily giggled.

“Miss Honey’s nice though, don’t you think?” Ali asked.

“Yeah, she’s the best” Dodge smiled as he thought of Matilda’s teacher.

“Matilda’s the best, then Miss Honey” Lily corrected. “Then Lavender” she nodded definitively.

“Mr. Ingram’s nice too, right?” Ali slipped in a question about their 3rd grade teacher. 

“Ah-huh” Dodge nodded. “Not as nice as Miss Honey, but he’s good.”

“Mrs. Wilson was like Miss Honey” Lily took her turn and flipped to the next page. “I miss Mrs. Wilson.”

“We see her every day” Dodge frowned at his sister.

“It’s not the same as having her teach your class all day every day though, is it Lil?” Ali rubbed her daughter’s back. Mrs. Wilson had been the 2nd grade teacher for all four of the young Krieger kids and they had all loved her dearly. “At least she’s still helping with the play, huh?”

“Yeah” Lily smiled shyly at her mother.

The blonde girl was getting more and more interested in doing plays and Mrs. Wilson had been her favorite teacher, by far. Having the two things combined into one activity was something Lily was very excited about and both her moms knew it.

“Will we ever see Bella again?” Dodge asked, his own mind not concerned with his sister’s attachment to their former teacher.

The question caught Ali a bit off guard. They had explained to the kids that, as part of their punishment for all of the bad things they had done to the neighborhood, and especially to Persey and Logan, the Pitmans had to leave Gloucester in addition to Mr. Pitman’s prison sentence. But that had been back at the very end of August when the big moving truck had shown up across the street. Nobody had discussed the family much since then and the whole neighborhood seemed to be enjoying the Pitman-free environment again.

“I don’t know bud, probably not” Ali shrugged as her son cocked his head at her, listening carefully. “But you never know.”

“Where did she go again?” Lily asked, forgetting the few basic details Ali and Ashlyn had explained to their children when the moving truck had appeared that Fall.

“Bella and her brother and their mom moved back to New Hampshire, where their relatives live...”

“Oh, right” Dodge nodded and began trying to turn the page backwards in the book, bored with the conversation all of a sudden. “Like Aunt Blechy. That makes sense.”

Ali stifled a giggle at the nickname the kids had given to horrible old Aunt Becky Krieger. It was spot on, but very disrespectful so both she and Ashlyn tried not to laugh about it in front of the kids. It was only a matter of time before one of them called her Aunt Blechy to her face and then there would be hell to pay. Any deference to the crotchety old woman was out of respect for Ken Krieger and his relationship with his brother Scott. Ali and Ashlyn’s family had been fed up with Aunt Becky’s bullshit for a couple of years and barely tried to humor her any more. At best they avoided her. When they couldn’t avoid her they tried hard to ignore her whenever politely possible. Ali marveled at the way her son’s mind worked – any kid’s mind really. He had made the astute connection that two of the most horrible people he had ever known in his young life, Oliver Pitman and Becky Krieger, both lived in New Hampshire. The brunette decided to just let it go. They only had a few more pages to go to finish that chapter and she wanted to get focused again.

“Who’s gonna live there now?” Lily inquired as she forcefully kept the page turned to where it was supposed to be, fighting her brother’s hand off the page and almost ripping the paper in the process.

“Knock it off Dodge” Ali corrected the boy and moved his hand away from the book in her lap. “Come on” she shook her head at him as he grinned apologetically up at her. It was one of his most insincere ‘sorry’s ever. “Just don’t do it. Why can’t you just sit there and read the book with us without starting something?”

“Mommy, who’s gonna live there now?” Lily repeated her question a bit louder.

“I don’t know honey” the brunette sighed, starting to get exasperated with the reading assignment that had dragged on too long. “We’ll have to wait and see, right?”

“I hope they’re good like Nurse Julie and Mickey...”

“And Justin! He’s cool” Dodge interrupted his sister as they both talked animatedly about the nicest neighbors on the whole street – the Donaldsons.

Ali let them continue for a minute, happy that they had stopped poking at each other at least for the short term. Just as the brunette was about to get back to the reading, Lily said what they were all thinking. 

“I hope they’re not Wormwoods or Trunchbulls” she rolled her eyes.

“Or Aunt Blechys” Dodge added with his own groan.

“Amen to that” Ali said a silent prayer. “Amen to that.”

//

Friday, November 7th, 2031 was an exciting day in the Krieger family and one they had been looking forward to for an entire week. Meg’s BC team was playing the second-round playoff game in the ACC tournament. It was sure to be a tough challenge as the #5 ranked Eagles took on the #1 ranked Notre Dame Fighting Irish. The winner went on to the Championship game two days later to face the UNC Tarheels who had just eliminated the Clemson Tigers in the first game Friday night. Ashlyn was dreading the potential BC vs UNC final but knew in her heart that she would be cheering hard for Meg and her teammates, no matter who they faced. 

Ali and Ashlyn had both been eager to be the bigger person after their last dispute, and it had put them at odds again over the same issue. This time, however, they were on opposite sides of the debate.

“But I don’t want to go to Meg’s game” Ashlyn stated her case that first weekend of November. Meg was spending the weekend and they were all eating too much Halloween candy. They were currently sprawled out on the front living room couch after getting the kids into bed Sunday night. “I really want to watch it here with everybody, together. We can make a big night of it, have everybody over...”

“But I want you to go” Ali pouted, realizing that her considerate wife was trying to do the right thing and make up for being so clueless on her birthday a couple of weeks earlier. 

Of course Ashlyn wanted to go to Cary, NC and cheer on Meg and BC in the biggest game of their entire season. Hell, Ali wanted to be there too! It was sure to be a great soccer game, regardless of the outcome. The brunette felt guilty about Ashlyn missing the game because of her stupid jealous streak. That was an oversimplification of things but it’s what Ali was thinking in that moment. The two women stared at each other with looks on their faces that combined amusement and exasperation.

“I’ve been to plenty of her away games this season” Ashlyn countered. “What I haven’t done is had a big group of family get together here and watch her on the big screen. Can we do that, please?” she tilted her head at Ali and gave the brunette one of her very sweetest smiles, complete with adorably blinking eyelashes. “Pleeeeease?”

“Didn’t Hannah already get you a ticket though?” Ali chewed her bottom lip as she tried to resist her keeper’s charms.

“She did, but I’ll pay the fee and push it out” she shrugged. “I’m sure it won’t be long before I need it for something else.”

“Yeah, like the ACC Championship game on Sunday” Ali responded with a smile and a chuckle. “You’re going to the Final...”

“If they get there, and if it works with our schedule” Ashlyn started to quantify the arrangements, “then yes I’ll use it for Sunday’s game...”

“Good” Ali nodded, cutting the end of her wife’s sentence off.

“...and you’re coming with me.”

“Ok” Ali laughed and threw her hands up in the air. “I give up. Let’s just cross that bridge when we come to it, ok?”

Ashlyn moved the bucket of Halloween candy off of her wife’s lap and crawled into it, burying her cheek against Ali’s soft sweater and squeezing the brunette tightly around her waist.

“Deal. But you’re coming with me” the keeper continued, adorably ignoring her wife’s wishes to table the issue and burrowing into her body further. Ashlyn’s voice was high and cute and Ali wrapped her arms around the blonde and hugged her. The keeper closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation and loving being in her wife’s arms. “I’ll figure out how to make it happen, but you just plan on it, my queen.”

//

Turns out they never had to cross that bridge after all because BC lost to Notre Dame in the semi-final game that Friday night. Ashlyn and Ali had hosted a big group of friends and family to watch Meg’s team give it their all and just fall short. The redheaded keeper was even subbed on in the 78th minute after the starter was injured in a collision with one of her own defenders. Meg took the pitch and played very well. She had learned her lesson from the year before and she had worked hard all season long to make sure she would be ready the next time she got an opportunity to play. It was always tough for a keeper to sub on like that, at the tail end of a game that they were already losing. But Meg looked sharp and focused as she barked out commands at her backline. Part of the reason the starter had gotten injured was because she wasn’t the best communicator with her defenders. If she had been more vocal and called out her intention of coming after the ball, the center back wouldn’t have collided with her while trying to clear it.

“She looks so good Ash” Whitney’s voice was full of excitement as she watched Meg make two stops in relatively quick succession. “Are you dying right now?” she chuckled and elbowed her best friend who was sitting next to her but not saying a word as she put every ounce of her being into watching the game on the tv in front of her.

“She’s doing good” Ashlyn replied without taking her eyes off of the tv. “She just has to stay focused. She needs to keep moving her feet...”

It was like talking to someone in a trance and the rest of the group teased her about it, but not too much. They all knew how special Meg’s soccer was to Ashlyn. The older keeper felt responsible for it. Ashlyn felt like it was her fault that Meg had decided to become a keeper and she felt an unnecessary amount of extra pressure because of it. Every time Meg failed, Ashlyn felt tremendous guilt. The problem was that every time Meg succeeded, Ashlyn brushed off any praise that came her way. Ali got worried when the game tied and went to the overtime period. Then she got even more worried when it was still tied and moved into penalty kicks to decide the winner of the big game.

“Don’t forget to breathe babe” the brunette whispered into her wife’s ear as she squeezed in next to her and let the keeper clutch desperately at her hand.

Margaret Ann Doucette made her first PK save on Friday, November 7, 2031 and the entire room erupted with raucous cheers and shouts of excitement when it happened. The young keeper herself jumped around with her arms pumping and her face full of furious joy as she moved away from the goal to let the Notre Dame keeper take her turn.

“Atta girl Meggie” Ashlyn choked out emotionally after a minute of celebrating with the room full of excited friends and family. She sat back down and latched onto Ali’s hand again, repeating softly. “Atta girl.”

Ashlyn knew that Meg would never forget that day for the rest of her life. The first time she stopped a penalty kick at the collegiate level. The blonde could still remember the first time she herself had done the same thing. The whole room was up and anxiously awaiting the rest of the pks. It was late and the kids should have been in bed over an hour ago but neither mom had the heart to make them go upstairs. They all celebrated Meg’s big moment and even though BC lost – missing the pk that would have won the game for them after Meg’s dazzling save – the whole extended Krieger clan was ecstatic for their girl Meg. 

“I’m so sorry you’re not there sweetheart” Ali said quietly to her wife after the game was over and many of the bodies had spread out among the other rooms on the first floor. The tv was airing the post-game interviews with the winning team and Ashlyn sat in her seat on the couch in the front living room staring at the screen with a hard to read face. The brunette pressed a warm kiss into her cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not” Ashlyn turned her head and smiled softly at her wife, who had Josie curled up with her head in her lap. The two moms locked eyes for a few seconds. “I’m right where I want to be” she squeezed Ali’s hand again and gave her another heartfelt smile. “I’m right where I belong.”

//

BC qualified for the NCAA College Cup tournament which started the following weekend. They even won their first-round game against Hofstra. If they made it past the third round and into the quarterfinals the following weekend, then Ashlyn was going to go to Cary, NC for the playoffs. It had already been discussed and planned out. Depending on the schedule, Ali would join her too but it was Thanksgiving weekend and there was lots to do at home with the kids. The College Cup was a 4-week tournament where 64 different NCAA teams competed in an elimination style format until there was only one team standing. The national champions. The games were played all over the country in different locations, culminating in the final weekend of semi-final and final games down in Cary, NC.

Meg had stepped in and played so well against Notre Dame in the ACC tournament that the coaches had no hesitation starting her for that first-round game of the College Cup tournament. The starting keeper was still limping around with a hip pointer and in some pain so it made the decision even easier.

“We were gonna start her anyway” Niki confided in Ashlyn. “Even if Sheila was ready. Coach loved the way she came in and took control of the end of the game. We’ve been trying to get that kind of play out of our keepers all season long.”

“You’re kidding me” Ashlyn looked astonished at her friend as they stood in the lobby of the BC practice facility four days after the Notre Dame loss. Meg had left one of her school books at the big old house that weekend after coming up for some home-cooking and laundry. “You’re not kidding?” Ashlyn’s eyes were as wide as her smile at the news. “Does she know yet?”

“Coach is telling her now” Niki grinned. “She’ll be out in a few minutes, then you and I can go get that drink if you want.”

When the redhead finally appeared in the lobby, her face was shining so brightly it could have powered the sun itself. Ashlyn could tell the young woman was struggling to contain her excitement and act like she wasn’t about to burst out of her skin in jubilation. There were other students moving through the area as well as other members of her team. The blonde followed Meg’s lead and didn’t make a big scene either.

“Congratulations honey” she said quietly as they hugged. “Niki told me. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks” Meg sobbed once and buried her face into Ashlyn’s neck as she hugged her hard.

“Yo Meg! We’re going to Fitzy’s, you coming?”

“Yeah” she called out over her step-mother’s shoulder and gave her teammates a thumbs up. “Be right there!”

“You ok?” Ashlyn made sure to keep the hug going long enough so Meg could pull herself together.

“Yeah, just surprised. And happy. And hungry” she giggled.

Ashlyn felt like Meg was 12 again whenever she giggled like that.

“Go on then and fill that belly up” she pulled back and grinned at the tall redhead with the pink face and the big smile. “Do you need some money?” Ashlyn reached into her pocket and pulled out a couple of $20 bills as they separated from the hug.

“No, I’m good...”

“Are you sure? Here, take some money and make sure you get enough to eat.”

“Thanks” she took a $20 and stuffed it into the pocket of her joggers with an appreciative smile. “Can I call you later?”

“Always” Ashlyn beamed. “Go. Have fun.”

Meg played very well as the Eagles defeated Hofstra. She looked calm, cool and collected out there. She looked like she belonged and the extra boost of confidence that provided only made her game even better. The coach was faced with one of the toughest decisions in all of sports for Round Two the following weekend. Do you stick with the season-long starter who says she’s 100% but might not be? Or do you stay with the keeper who’s playing lights out right at the moment, despite her inexperience and youth? The coach chose to go back to the regular starting keeper for round two and was rewarded with a tough loss. Wisconsin beat BC soundly and many players on the team felt they should have stuck with Meg and there was a bit of tension for a few days until the coaching staff put the kibosh on it. 

“I just feel bad for Sheila” Meg shrugged as she talked with all three of her moms who had made the trip to Rutgers, NJ for the game that Friday night, November 21st. A large contingent of Meg supporters from Gloucester, Ipswich, Lynnfield, Arlington, and Winchester had driven to NJ that afternoon and would be driving back home first thing in the morning. Kyle and his family were there too. “She’s a senior. It was her last game and we lost.”

Ali thought for the millionth time about how kind all of Ashlyn’s kids were.

“There’s only one team who gets to finish their season with a win” the older keeper repeated the saying that every team sport athlete knew by heart. “She played well. She can be proud of that. You all can. You had a great season.”

“And next year will be even better” Hannah added optimistically as she hugged her daughter. “All your hard work...I’m so proud of you sweetheart.”

A few hours later, in their dark hotel room, Ali could tell her wife was having a hard time getting to sleep. It had been gut-wrenching for both of them to watch Meg’s team lose after their hopes had risen so high from the first-round victory.

“You ok?” the brunette asked softly and rolled over to face her wife who had been half-heartedly spooning her. 

Ashlyn couldn’t get her body or mind to switch off and had been restless for the entire 30 minutes they’d been in bed together. She let out a big sigh and rubbed her face with the hand that had been resting on Ali’s hip.

“Yeah, just can’t sleep yet I guess. I’m sorry” she moved her hand over to play with her wife’s dark hair. “Did I wake you up?”

“Not really. I’m having trouble too” Ali admitted, enjoying the gentle touches from her keeper’s hand. “That was really hard.”

“Yeah it was” Ashlyn agreed. “Way harder than I thought it would be. God, having your kid be so disappointed...man that was brutal.”

“Makes me appreciate my parents more than ever” Ali added. “I thought it was hard losing these big games when I was playing in them...”

“This is way worse. You’re right” the keeper sighed again. “And last year kind of faked me out.”

“What do you mean?”

“With Meg and the team” Ashlyn explained. “It sucked when they lost last year too, but, I don’t know...it’s like I knew Meg wasn’t really invested in it yet or something. It just didn’t hurt as much – for her or for us.”

“Yes. Totally agree” Ali nodded. “She worked her ass off all year for this and now she’s crushed.”

“And we’re crushed.”

“Why do we let the kids do sports again?” the brunette chuckled.

“Whose dumb idea was that anyway?”

They both laughed softly and then repositioned themselves.

“Roll over and I’ll rub your back until one of us falls asleep” the brunette offered.

“Aw, thanks baby” Ashlyn gave her sweet wife a kiss before rolling over with another sigh. This one sounded like there was some contentment in it along with the frustration and sadness. “You’re the best.”

“No, you are” Ali pressed a kiss into her wife’s shoulder as she started to rub. “I think about it every day but I don’t tell you nearly enough” she paused. “You’re such a good mom Ash.”

“Yeah, right” the keeper chuckled self-deprecatingly. “So good that I can’t sleep and keep you up too. Awesome” she rolled her eyes.

“No” Ali giggled. “Cut it out. That’s not what I mean and you know it” she poked her wife but not as hard as she usually would have.

“Ok, ok” Ashlyn laughed. “Put the dagger finger away...”

“Seriously babe, I mean it. You’re a wonderful mom. You’ve taught all our kids how to feel what they’re feeling. That’s so important and it’s so hard to learn. Think about it, how many of Meg’s teammates are miserable tonight, but for all the wrong reasons. They're upset because they lost but they don’t know why they’re upset. Or they don’t know what to do with those feelings. Meg was able to tell us exactly why she was so sad about the loss. She could use her words and talk to us about what she was feeling and why. And that’s because you taught her how to do that.”

“Yeah? You think?”

“I do. It’s amazing and you don’t get enough credit for it.”

“Thanks, I appreciate you saying that. It means a lot.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t said it more before now” Ali gave her wife’s neck a soft, but safe kiss. “But I’ll do better from now on, I promise.”


	35. Mortality & Mommy Baths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok my friends, as I post this chapter you are now officially caught up with me and I am deeply sorry. There will be two or three, probably three, more chapters to go and I will be working diligently on them this week. You have my word on that. Worst case scenario I should have time next weekend to get it all finished if I have a productive writing week between now and then.  
> I hate it when writers leave me hanging so I try really hard not to do it to you...but here I am doing it to you. But I swear - I will not leave you hanging for long.

Besides Meg’s soccer tournaments, the month of November was full of all the usual holiday preparations and school activities. Soccer was over for the kids and Dodge’s football season ended about halfway through the month. All four kids were practicing with their classes for the Holiday show at their respective schools. Meg was trying to get caught up on her schoolwork and prepare for her final exams coming up in December. Fall was in the air and the weather was crisp and chilly as the leaves finished turning and finally fell in their blaze of glory. 

The call Ali had been dreading came Saturday, November 8th. It was late in the afternoon and the brunette was in the kitchen getting dinner ready for the kids. Ashlyn was with Dodge at his very last football practice as the team prepared for the last game of the season the next morning. It was cold and gloomy and had been raining and sleeting off and on all day long. The kids were amped up and starting to climb the walls after being inside for most of the day. Ashlyn had kicked them all outside during a break in the rain that morning but that had only lasted for about an hour before the skies opened up and it began pouring again. By 4:30pm Lily was in a time out in her room, Josie was playing the piano in the front parlor, and Drew was trying to get his homework done so he could go to Ethan’s house the next day. As soon as she saw her mother’s face on her phone when it rang, Ali knew it was bad news. She wasn’t sure who it was about but she knew it was bad. She could just feel it.

“Hi mom...what happened?”

“Oh Alex...” there was a pause and the brunette could hear the anguish in her mother’s voice. “It’s Diana...”

Deb couldn’t continue and after a brief silence Ali spoke instead, knowing what the call meant.

“Oh mom, I’m so sorry.”

Deb’s cousin Diana had finally lost her battle with ovarian cancer that afternoon. Her daughters Georgia and Eliza made the painful phone calls to let family and friends know the sad news. Ali held it together better than she thought she would, even later that night when Ashlyn held her and it was more than safe to let her heavy emotions flow. But she didn’t. Diana’s death wasn’t a surprise. It had been a long time coming and everybody who loved her had been given a chance to get used to the awful idea of not having sweet Diana in their lives any more. Maybe that was why the brunette didn’t fall apart. Part of it, she knew because she had talked with Ashlyn about it a few times since they had gotten the bad news about Diana’s decline earlier that summer, was that she wanted to be strong for her mother. Deb was going to need Ali to be there for her and the brunette was determined to be her mother’s rock this time. Deb had always been there for Ali and it was time to return the favor. 

The wake and funeral were held down in Lovingston, VA the following week and both Ali and Ashlyn made the trip. Deb and Mike were there as well and Kyle cut short a business trip in Los Angeles to attend too. Kyle didn’t know Diana or her family very well at all, but he, like his sister, was going for his mother. He knew that this loss was hitting her hard and he wanted to offer his support in any way he could. Both Kyle and Ali felt guilty for not going to Diana’s sister’s funeral seven years earlier – Deb’s cousin Maria. They weren’t making the same mistake twice.

“How’s she doing?” Kyle nodded towards his sister across the room as he sat next to Ashlyn at the wake Wednesday afternoon. 

“I don’t know” the keeper blew out a concerned sigh as they both watched Ali talking quietly with Diana’s daughters. “She says she’s ok and it sure seems that way” she shrugged. “But she was so upset about Diana’s diagnosis last year, when we visited them down here. It just doesn’t make any sense to me.”

“She told me she’s good but I’m with you” he shook his head slowly. “I don’t buy it.”

“But why wouldn’t she tell us how she’s really doing?” the keeper’s face held a look of that revealed how hurt she felt at that idea. “I mean, which one of us is gonna give her a hard time about it?”

“I don’t know. All I know is that she really wants to be strong for mom. Maybe this is part of that?”

Deb was definitely struggling. She spent a lot of time talking with Diana’s grieving husband Sal and then her cousin Maria’s three grown children. They were the ones who hadn’t made the trip to see Deb, or Ali’s family, back in the summer of 2030 during their DC vacation. Maria’s two grandchildren and Diana’s five grandchildren were all there as well and that always brought some happiness to the mourners. There was something about seeing the next generation that made it easier to say goodbye to a loved one. Everybody who loved Diana knew that she would be sitting there with a big smile on her face at the sight of those kids.

“I’m so glad Di got to meet your kids last year” Deb patted her daughter’s knee as Ali came and sat next to her after bringing Sal some coffee. “Thank you for making that happen Alex. I know it wasn’t easy but it made both of us so happy.”

“I’m glad too mom, very glad” Ali smiled hopefully at her mother. “I’ll bet you two had a great time comparing grandma stories, didn’t you?”

“Oh, we sure did” Deb chuckled, letting the first true smile of the afternoon slide over her face. “She never believed half of what I told her about Dodge” she rolled her eyes and chuckled some more. “But after meeting him she didn’t doubt anything I said about him ever again.”

Ali’s heart broke as she watched her mother’s face fall into a frown as tears threatened to fall from her sad eyes. 

“Aw Mom, I’m sorry” she put her arm around Deb’s shoulders and gave her a side hug. 

“Oh, so am I. So am I” Deb took her fingers and tried to keep the tears from falling down her cheeks. “I can’t believe I won’t be able to talk to her about my grandkids anymore.” 

The funeral the next morning was beautiful and very well attended. Diana had been popular and her many friends were all there to share their grief with her family. Sal had asked Deb to do one of the readings during the service at the church but at the last minute, Deb got cold feet. She just didn’t trust that she would be able to get through it without breaking down and she didn’t want to do that to Diana. She asked Ali to take her place and the brunette agreed to read the poem that Diana herself had selected for Deb to share at her funeral. One of the few hidden benefits of knowing you’re going to die very soon is being able to plan out your own funeral and get your affairs in order. Diana had done both and her family had honored all of her wishes.

Ashlyn watched proudly as her wife walked to the lectern with the poem in her hand. She listened as Ali’s rich voice filled the large room, aided by the microphone in front of her. The keeper knew how nervous the brunette was but not many other people would ever be able to tell. Ali looked beautiful in her black dress and her face was a mixture of stoic resolve and deep kindness as she recited the words.

‘Do not stand at my grave and weep  
I am not there.  
I do not sleep.  
I am a thousand winds that blow.  
I am the diamond glints on snow.  
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.  
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.  
When you awaken in the morning’s hush,  
I am the swift uplifting rush  
Of quiet birds in circled flight.  
I am the soft stars that shine at night.  
Do not stand at my grave and cry;  
I am not there.  
I did not die.’  
-Mary Frye

Ali met Sal’s eyes and they nodded at each other before the brunette made her way back to the pew where she sat between her mother and her wife. Deb had tears sliding down her cheeks, knowing Diana had hand-picked those words for her to say on that sad day. She smiled as she thought about the uplifting message in the poem and knew that Diana was telling her not to grieve for too long, not to spend too much of her own precious time in sadness and gloom. After a few minutes, as the priest continued with the service, Deb’s tears stopped and a warm, sincere smile had taken their place. For the first time since learning of Diana’s death, the love Deb felt for her beloved cousin outweighed the grief of losing her. She squeezed her daughter’s hand.

“Thank you so much Alex. That was just beautiful.”

“You’re welcome mom.”

But the words had delivered a different result to Ali than they had to her mother. As everybody stood up to sing a hymn a few minutes later, the brunette finally broke. She closed her mouth to try and muffle her sobs and sat back down abruptly. Deb kept singing and rested her hand on her daughter’s shoulder as she cried. Ashlyn reached down and Ali grasped her hand as she fell apart after almost a full week of holding all of her fear, anger, and grief inside. She hadn’t shut everything off on purpose. She never made the conscious decision to lock down all of her feelings. It just sort of happened while she focused on being strong for Deb. But somehow, reading those words had brought it all home for the brunette. The last line said ‘I did not die’ but Diana had died! Ali understood the point of the poem had been to remind the mourners to keep living and it had been a wonderful salve to Deb’s wounded heart. But the words had been a cruel slap in the face for Ali when she read them. Diana would soon have a grave because she was dead. Deb was getting older and the idea of her own mother’s funeral overwhelmed her. Ovarian cancer had claimed another member of the family and Ali was going to have to deal with her own mortality sooner or later. And the idea of saying goodbye to her wife and kids and, hopefully, grandkids, crushed her soul right there where she sat in the church.

Kyle, on Deb’s other side, leaned back and shared a concerned look with Ashlyn who swallowed hard to try and keep her own emotions in check. She knew Ali was trying to draw strength from her, literally through their clasped hands, as she finally got her crying under control just as the hymn ended and everybody sat back down. The keeper opened her wife’s purse and pulled out the tissues that she knew would be there, handing them to Ali with a gentle pat of her leg. Ashlyn wanted to pull her wife into her and hold her while she fell apart but she knew that wasn’t what Ali wanted. Not right then anyway. Ali fought that fear and anger and worry until she could sit up straight and strong again, just a few minutes later. Ashlyn knew her wife didn’t want Deb to feel like she had to worry about her. That was the crux of the whole thing for Ali. Kyle reached around his mother’s shoulders and gave his sister’s closest shoulder a steady squeeze. He left his hand there for about 30 seconds and then pulled it back, knowing his sister didn’t want the attention on her.

“You ok honey?” Deb’s soft voice asked as she took her daughter’s hand in her own.

Ali squeezed it and gave her mother the best smile she could as she replied in her own quiet voice.

“I’m good mom. I promise.” She felt her heart pang as Deb smiled back at her, her face still a wrenching mixture of sadness, grief, and love. She knew in that moment that Diana’s poem had worked as planned on her mother and the brunette thanked the dead woman in a silent prayer. “That poem...it was perfect for you guys. I can almost hear Di saying those words to you, you know?”

“Me too honey” Deb smiled as a few tears collected in her eyes again. “Me too.”

// 

That November it was young Josie’s turn to participate in the First Thanksgiving re-enactment now that she was a big 5th grader, and she accepted the challenge with enthusiasm. The Tuesday of Thanksgiving week was the big day and everybody hoped for good weather. The parents of all the 5th graders volunteered, as always, to build the settlements and help the kids with the many parts they would play. For two weeks before her class was scheduled to take to the woods, Josie practiced her lines and learned her character, inside and out. She felt supremely confident that none of the visitors to the Pilgrim compound would be able to stump her. If she was going to assume the role of Mary Brewster, wife of one of the most prominent of all Pilgrims – William Brewster, then she wanted to know her stuff. William Brewster was one of the most senior members of the group and was an Elder in the church. He naturally became the religious leader of the settlement while William Bradford became governor. As the wife of one of the most prominent members of the group, Mary Brewster played a vital role in the Pilgrim community, both from a religious standpoint and a survival perspective. She was sturdy and hardy and was one of only 5 women who survived both the initial voyage over on the Mayflower as well as the first cruel winter in Plymouth, Massachusetts.

“Ummm...how many kids did you have?” Drew asked his sister as they sat together at the dining room table doing their homework one afternoon, the week before Thanksgiving.

“Six” Josie nodded confidently. “But one died very young, so really only five.”

“What were their names?” he continued, only half paying attention as he tried to work out some math equations from his textbook.

“Ummm...” Josie paused because some of them were strange names that didn’t sound right at all. “Jonathan, Patience, Fear, Love, and Wrestling.”

“Wait, what?” Drew looked over at her in confusion. “She had a kid named Fear?”

“Yeah, she did” Josie giggled. “And Love.”

“And one named Wrestling?!” his eyes went wide. He laughed and shook his head. “That’s insane.”

When the Tuesday of Thanksgiving week arrived, Josie was ready for her big day as Mary Brewster. She had been one of the actual cooks of the very first Thanksgiving and Josie was ready to recite the food that she was preparing along with everything else she had learned in preparation for her role. Just as they had done two years ago with Drew, both Ashlyn and Ali volunteered to help that day, in addition to helping build the structures in the compounds in the first place. This year Ashlyn was in the Pilgrim settlement, in charge of the church building. Her job was to make sure all the bibles stayed where they belonged inside the church and to make sure the kids and other visitors all made their way through the small building without much delay, or injury. Ali took her turn over at the Native American settlement, giving directions and guiding visitors over the treacherous roots in the path. Josie’s best friend Kayla was Massasoit’s wife and her mother Pam was volunteering at the Native American compound as well. She was in charge of the cooking area with the open fire and had her hands more than full keeping everything in control over there. Ali knew the feeling because she had been in charge of the cooking structure 2 years ago when Drew had done the First Thanksgiving. Keeping kids and everybody else safe around the open fire was no easy task. Massasoit was the leader, or sachem, of the Wampanoag tribe who helped the Pilgrims survive and Kayla had a big part as well. Ali paid both Kayla and her mom a visit during a lull in visitors early in the day.

“Good morning Saunka” Ali nodded at Kayla who grinned back when she heard the authentic greeting using her character’s name.

“Hi Mrs. Krieger.”

“Hey Pam, what’s cooking?” the brunette laughed when she saw Kayla’s mom emerge from the cramped cooking teepee with a look of frustration on her face.

“What isn’t cooking is more like it” Pam chuckled. “I am! It’s hot as heck in there” she fanned herself and walked over to talk to the brunette.

They exchanged stories of mishaps at the cooking stations they had both experienced during their time volunteering at the First Thanksgiving event. 

“Can you believe these girls are 10 years old already?” Pam’s eyebrows were up high as she shook her head in disbelief.

“No, I can’t” Ali commiserated. “I swear I was just changing Josie’s diaper the other damned day! How has 6 years gone by so freaking fast?”

After some more idle chit chat about the First Thanksgiving event and the girls’ upcoming duet for the school holiday concert, Pam lowered her voice and spoke more seriously.

“I’m really sorry about your cousin Al.”

“Thanks Pam. I’m ok. We knew it was gonna happen pretty soon” she shrugged and sighed. 

Ali didn’t bother to correct her friend’s statement about the loss being Ali’s cousin. She must have gotten her info from Kayla via Josie and that explained the easy mistake.

“It still sucks though.”

“Yeah, it does.”

“You guys hosting Thanksgiving again this year?” Pam asked, glad to change the subject.

“No, we’ll go to my dad’s up in Ipswich for the day. What about you?”

“My brother’s house, down in Rhode Island” Pam nodded.

“Mom!” Kayla bellowed from inside the cooking teepee. “Is this supposed to be on fire?”

“Oh geez” Pam groaned as she started to hustle towards the open flame inside the teepee. “That can’t be good.”

“No” Ali laughed. “Just be glad you don’t have to keep track of live chickens while you’re at it” she referenced her own experience staffing the cooking area at the Pilgrim compound two years earlier. “They’re mean birds” the brunette joked over her shoulder as she made her way back to her station by the troublesome roots. “Have fun!”

A little later in the day Ali’s phone lit up with a text from her wife, over with Josie in the Pilgrim compound.

Allstar: Our kid is a rock star!  
Ali: Is she doing good?  
Allstar: The best. This thing was made for her. Lol  
Ali: Or she was made for First T-giving! Ha ha ha  
Allstar: Either way, she’s killing it.  
Ali: I’m so glad. :) How bout you? Church things going well?  
Allstar: Got off to a bumpy start. Somebody’s grandma tripped going up the two steps into the building.   
Ali: Oh no!  
Allstar: Oh yeah. She’s ok, just a skinned shin. But now I start there and make sure everybody’s up and in ok, then run around to the other end to make sure they don’t fall coming out again.   
Ali: Sounds fun. ;) At least you’re getting your exercise. Lol  
Allstar: there’s the silver lining I was missing! Lol  
Allstar: Oh gotta go, another big group’s coming in.  
Ali: Have fun babe. XXXX  
Allstar: Come visit when you can. You’ve gotta see Jojo in action.  
Ali: I will. Wanna see both my girls. <3

//

Thanksgiving at Ken & Vicki’s was fun and more relaxing than usual, and nobody really knew why. The only big news was that Meg had gone home to DC this year and Tanner showed up for the second year in a row. That was a big enough deal on its own, but he brought Renee again which was an enormous event for the other adults in the family. Tanner and Renee were still just dating, but they had been together for over a year by that point and it was definitely getting serious. Their schedules kept them apart so they didn’t get to spend as much time together as they would both have liked. Renee worked for a big biotech company that had strong links to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT). Her company developed drugs and medicines and other technologies, like medical equipment, that the rest of us used every day of our lives. She wasn’t a scientist though. She was the organized manager whose primary function was to keep all the scientists and researchers in line and doing what they were supposed to be doing. She told stories that made the entire extended family gasp at the sheer stupidity of some of the most brilliant people in all of New England. They sure were book smart but they usually didn’t have a lot of common sense to go along with it. And the interpersonal skills were severely lacking in most cases as well. 

Renee loved her work but truly hated some of the people she worked with sometimes. She travelled several times a year to attend different conferences and when those plans didn’t coordinate well with Tanner’s hectic travel schedule for the NE Revs, their time together really suffered. Renee lived in a nice, one-bedroom condo in downtown Boston and was truly an urbanite. She made no bones about it either. Tanner had tried to take her camping one weekend, early in their relationship, and she very politely explained that there was no way she was doing that – even though she really enjoyed his company and wanted to spend the weekend with him. Renee was becoming a welcome addition to the family and even Koty, who defended his younger brother’s bachelorhood at all costs and against all comers, could see Tanner’s future and allowed himself to look forward to it. Koty and Brianna were expecting their first baby in February which was suddenly only 3 months away! Like all new parents, they were both freaking out about not being ready. All of the parents in the large group took turns reassuring them and, by the time they left that night, both Brianna and Koty were feeling much better about everything.

The Harrises had all stayed in Florida that year, which was pretty unusual, but they had all been up in Gloucester a lot over the past couple of years so neither Ali nor Ashlyn took it personally. Whitney and her family hosted her parents again for Thanksgiving. The Flanagans had joined the Kriegers last year but only got to do that every so often. The lawyer’s 44th birthday was the day after Thanksgiving this year and her mom and dad had made their favorite trip again to celebrate with their daughter and grandchildren. The Crosses went to Rhode Island again as they usually did. The Dwyers were at Ken and Vicki’s who were wonderful hosts, as always, and everybody ate too much, laughed a lot, and talked about, played, and watched a lot of soccer. It was the Krieger way after all. Ali and Ashlyn enjoyed another busy holiday while trying to keep their kids clean, presentable, and happy. It was nice to see the children maturing so much, but both moms always loved the moments where they were behaving like complete goofballs the most. Just when Ashlyn thought Josie was the picture of a proper little lady in her pretty dress, she would walk by the room where the Krieger and Dwyer kids were playing together and hear the little redhead let out one of the biggest belches of them all. Or she might hear Lily dissolve into a fit of giggles when one of her brothers or 4-family friends or cousins went down the road of bathroom jokes and fart noises. Ali felt the same way about it. Watching their children revert back to goofy kids always made them both smile from their very souls. And there had been plenty of that this Thanksgiving.

As Ali walked into her bedroom Sunday evening of Thanksgiving weekend, she felt tired and more than a little stressed as she ran through her list of things to do at the office the next morning. She had finished helping Dodge with his shower and knew Drew was getting in to take his turn next. Both boys were extra motivated that evening because they had all been promised a piece of Grandma’s chocolate dream pie for dessert after showers were all completed. Ali’s French silk pie was still a family favorite, but Deb’s chocolate dream was just better. Ali could admit it too. The brunette could hear Dodge’s excited voice coming up through the second-floor hallway all the way from the first floor where he tried to convince Deb to give him his piece early. Ali chuckled to herself at her youngest son’s antics and then frowned when she realized that there had been absolutely no activity in the girls’ bathroom that she had just walked by. Ashlyn was supposed to be helping the girls that night while the brunette handled the boys.

Drew and Josie didn’t really need any help with their showers anymore. But the 8-1/2 year old twins did. They at least still needed some supervision to make sure they got the shampoo out of their hair and remembered to wash all the parts of their bodies before getting out. Lily’s long blonde hair was still both moms’ least favorite thing to deal with when it came to shower time, or bath time, or getting dressed time, or pretty much any time. It just took a lot of maintenance regardless of what time of day it was or what the activity was. But Lily loved her hair and neither Ashlyn nor Ali would force her to get it cut shorter. Well, they did limit the length to halfway down her back. That was plenty long enough and not even Lily fought them over it. A mom always had to help her get the shampoo out of it and then help her brush it out again after the shower.

Typically, whichever mom was doing showers on any given night would go upstairs and move back and forth between Dodge in the boys’ shower and Lily in the girls’ shower until they were both clean and thoroughly rinsed. There was talking and singing and laughing that went on throughout the entire half hour episode, by all three of the participants. Sometimes Josie would join them, waiting her turn to go next or just finishing her own shower first. Logan was always there as well, making sure every excited giggle she heard checked out and all of her people were ok. It was usually a light-hearted and silly time of the evening. And the mom on duty didn’t always get drenched anymore, which was a nice improvement. Drew almost always waited to do his shower just before going to bed because his younger siblings usually weren’t up there with him. 

Ali let out a frustrated and tired sigh as she walked further into her own bedroom, through the narrower entrance by Ashlyn’s closet and the two big dressers. When she got to the foot of the bed and turned to her left, she could hear three of her favorite voices coming from the master bathroom a few feet in front of her. The door was closed but anybody with children knew that those voices were almost always loud enough to carry through most closed doors. Josie and Lily’s were no exception that evening but Ali found herself standing close to the door so she could hear her wife’s softer voice as well.

“How did you learn how to do this?” Josie asked amid the distinct sounds of bathtime. 

Ashlyn was kneeling on a folded up towel next to the big soaking tub with her long-sleeved t-shirt pulled up above her elbows. One little girl was at each end of the tub with what was left of the millions of bubbles they had started the bath with between them. Their hair was wet and full of shampoo and Josie’s had been styled into a fierce mohawk. Lily’s long hair had been curled around and piled on top of her head so that it looked like the poop emoji, but in white shampoo-y suds.

“Do what? Give you monkeys a bath?” Ashlyn asked with a chuckle that made Ali grin from her spot outside the door.

“No” Lily giggled and Josie laughed. “THIS kind of bath” the girl emphasized the this and Ali heard a splash and knew their daughter had just let her hand drop in some sort of playfully exasperated and silly gesture. “Mommy’s bath.”

“Oh, well” Ashlyn’s voice got pretend-serious and she paused dramatically as she spun a tale for her adorable daughters. “Mommy’s baths are the most special kind of bath, you girls know that” she nodded and let her expressive eyes grow big as both girls gave her their full attention. “It’s a very special mixture of just the right things and I had to study very hard to learn them all.”

“You did?” Lily’s inquisitive eyes were just as wide as her Mama’s playful ones.

“Did you have to go to school to learn it?” 10-1/2 year old Josie asked, a bit more skeptical but not very much. Even if she didn’t believe every word her Mama was telling her she still enjoyed a good story.

“No, I didn’t go to school, but I had to practice a lot until I could do it right” the keeper continued, the excitement in her voice still captivating both girls. “Sometimes I made so many mistakes that you wouldn’t believe what awful baths I had to take” she made an eek face and then shook her head sadly.

“You practiced on yourself?!” Lily looked shocked.

“Of course” Ashlyn shrugged. “Who else would I practice on?”

“Mommy?” Josie offered the answer she couldn’t believe her Mama didn’t know.

“Oh, no” Ashlyn shook her head and made an even more serious face. “I would never make Mommy take one of my awful baths. I love her too much to do that.”

Ali listened for almost 5 full minutes as her wife made up dozens of different kinds of fake ‘awful baths’ that she had concocted over the years spent trying to perfect the ‘Mommy Bath’. The brunette had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing out loud at some of the reactions from the girls. She loved how Ashlyn encouraged them to keep bathing themselves all the while, truly turning the chore into pure fun.

“When did you finally learn though?” Lily’s face was scrunched up in confusion. “How long did you practice?”

“Well, my teacher helped me and it didn’t take too long” Ashlyn explained with another shrug. “I’d say...I don’t know, maybe two years?” she asked more than answered as she pretended to think hard about it.

“TWO YEARS?!” both girls repeated loudly.

“I think that sounds right” she nodded confidently at her daughters and tried hard not to laugh at their stupefied reactions.

“Wait...” Josie squinted at her Mama as her big brain started to work things out more. “Who was your teacher?”

“Well, Mommy of course” Ashlyn gave them a silly look like the answer was completely obvious. “Duh.”

They all giggled at that answer and both girls thought about it while Ashlyn rinsed their hair for them one last time.

“How come you don’t have a bath?” Lily asked with an adorable tilt of her head. “How come there’s not a Mama bath?”

“Oh, well that one’s easy” the keeper grinned. “The Mommy bath is my favorite because it makes me think of Mommy. Every time.”

“I like it because it makes me smell like Mommy” Josie offered with her own grin.

“That’s another great perk of the Mommy Bath, definitely” Ashlyn nodded approvingly at the redhead.

“I like it because it makes me look like Mommy!” Lily laughed, knowing her silly answer made no sense.

“It doesn’t make you look like Mommy” Josie frowned at her goofy sister and then laughed along with her.

“Oh, I know Mommy is so beautiful sweetpea, but you should always want to look just like your own beautiful self, no matter what. Right?” Ashlyn winked at her youngest daughter.

“You look like Mama” Josie commented as she looked from Ashlyn to Lily and back again. “Mommy always says you have Mama’s eyes.”

“Yeah, they’re the same color, see?” Lily moved her body towards the edge of the tub right next to Ashlyn, who leaned her big head down next to her as they both faced Josie.

“That’s right” the keeper smiled warmly at both girls as she reached down and pulled the plug to let the tub start draining. “And my grandmother, we called her Gram, she had our eyes too...”

“Oh yeah” Lily’s eyes lit up. “Like in that picture...”

“Can you show us that again Mama?” Josie asked as she stood up and took the keeper’s hand to climb out of the deep, soaking tub.

“And Papa and Dodgie’s eyes are the same too, right Mama?” Lily asked at the same time, both girls excited about the topic of conversation.

“Yes, we can look at some pictures tonight, but you’ve gotta get moving now. We’re late. Your brothers are probably eating all our pie by now!” Ashlyn urged the girls on and laughed at the way they tried to dry themselves off as quickly as possible.

“Drew’s eyes are like Mommy’s eyes too” Josie added with a little frown that many people would have missed. But Ashlyn knew better. She knew that Josie was well aware of the fact that she looked different with her red hair and her eyes that didn’t look like anybody else’s.

“That’s right little one” the keeper gave her a loving smile and cupped her small chin to lift it up so they were looking eye to eye. “Drew has Mommy’s beautiful brown eyes and her thick dark hair, doesn’t he?”

Ashlyn waited for Josie to nod in her hand before continuing. What she didn’t know was that Ali’s heart was breaking right outside the door at the bittersweet conversation.

“But you remember how special you are right?” the keeper referenced the other times either she or Ali had gone down this very path with sweet, smart Josephine Marie Krieger. “We all have beautiful eyes and beautiful hair and some of it is the same as others in our family, but not you, huh?”

“No, I have special hair and eyes” Josie responded the way both moms had encouraged her to over the years as she started to realize she didn’t look like any of her siblings or mothers very much. 

Sometimes it bothered Josie and other times it didn’t seem to faze her much at all. Truthfully, she did look a lot like Ali but the coloring was all off. But her facial features themselves were close to the beautiful brunette’s. 

“For every 100 people in the world, only one or two will have red hair” Ashlyn continued with the answers she and Ali had researched and used to help their little one feel special about her special hair and eyes. “And when you have red hair with blue eyes, well, that’s the rarest color combination in the whole wide world for all human beings.”

When she was a little older they would explain the science of it to her, if she was interested – which they both knew she would be. But for now, they kept the recessive gene explanation out of the conversation. 

“Yeah” Josie nodded shyly as Ashlyn let go of her chin after giving her forehead a big kiss. “And it’s cuz of the...artificial insemination” she paused before getting the big words out perfectly. “And the sperm donor.”

Ali had explained all of that to Josie last year when Franny Higgins began teasing her about it. But Josie had learned more information this year as a 5th grader, because of the sex education class they all took before moving on to middle school the following year.

“That’s right” Ashlyn nodded as she helped Lily dry her hair enough so she could get dressed once they got to the master bedroom. “The sperm donor who helped us, helped us with all of you monkeys” she tickled Lily and made her giggle. The keeper was glad to see Josie smiling too. “And any one of you monkeys could have had red hair and blue eyes, or none of you could have had red hair and blue eyes” she shrugged. “Mommy and I think it’s pretty amazing that we even got one red haired, blue eyed monkey. It doesn’t happen every day now, does it?”

“No” Josie shook her head, small smile growing bigger all the time.

“Meggie has red hair but she doesn’t have blue eyes” Lily stated the fact that Meg herself had added years ago to the family conversation about red heads.

“No, she has green eyes” Josie offered quickly. “So does Hannah.”

“That’s right you smart girls” the keeper praised them as she opened the door, surprising Ali on the other side. “Oh hi...”

“Hi” Ali blushed and grinned from ear to ear as she looked into her wife’s beautiful face. 

Ashlyn leaned forward and kissed her lips quickly.

“Can you get the lotion from their bathroom? I forgot to bring it in.”

Ali retrieved the lotion, including the special lotion that they used for Josie’s chronically dry skin, and helped her wife get both girls moisturized and into their jammies with their hair combed. The four of them continued to talk about the sperm donor and whether or not he had red hair and then they segued naturally back to Mommy Baths. Ashlyn winked at Ali as the brunette answered their questions correctly, lucky to have heard the whole story herself through the bathroom door.

Later that night, after chocolate dream pie and story time, when they were finally getting their own bodies ready for bed, Ashlyn quirked her eyebrow at her wife.

“So you were outside the door the whole time huh?”

“No, just the second half I think” Ali giggled as she climbed under the covers and sat up against the headboard. “I heard from the Mommy Bath story on” she gave her keeper a nose-crinkling grin. “You are just too freaking cute, you know it?”

Ashlyn was standing at her dresser, near the door to the second-floor hallway and directly in Ali’s line of sight. The keeper put on and removed two different pairs of sleep shorts before settling on a third while the brunette watched and grinned and admired.

“Yeah I know I’m cute” Ashlyn chuckled and then winced a little as she brought her hand to her lower abs. “I sure don’t feel cute though” she moaned softly.

“What’s the matter babe?” Ali’s grin turned to a frown of concern. “Cramps?”

“Not really” Ashlyn shook her head as she closed the dresser drawer and walked slightly bent over to her own side of the bed. “Mostly just bloated I think. I feel gross and fat and blah” she complained as she got into bed. “I shouldn’t get my period for another few days though. Maybe it’s just too much pie” she tried to smile and make a joke out of it but the look on her face told Ali how uncomfortable she really was.

“Aw, honey” Ali leaned over and kissed her cheek while squeezing her arm. “Do you want the heating pad? Is your lower back sore too?”

“Yeah it is, but I don’t want it, thanks” she turned her light off and winced again as she got underneath the covers and turned onto her right side, facing away from the brunette. She tried another joke, this one making Ali laugh. “Sorry baby, it’s not you, it’s me.”

“And you know how worked up I get when you’re extra sweet” Ali dropped her voice and scooted closer to her wife, softly ruffling her blonde hair and kissing her shoulder.

“Don’t tease me woman” Ashlyn whined.

“I’m just stating facts, Allstar” she chuckled. Ali leaned back over to her side of the bed and put her book and glasses on the nightstand and turned off her own light before returning to her wife in the middle of the bed. “And as much as I’d love to have my way with you right now, how about I rub your back until you fall asleep? Will that help?” she pressed a sweet kiss into her keeper’s cheek up near her ear.

“Mmmm...yes please. That sounds so nice...”

Ali did as promised and let her strong hands work all over the blonde’s back and up into her neck. She massaged Ashlyn’s scalp and as much as she could reach of her top leg without either of them moving. She took her time and spent almost fifteen minutes trying to soothe the discomfort out of her sweet wife.

“You’re so beautiful Ashlyn...inside and out” she spoke softly, in case her keeper had fallen asleep. “The way you take care of our kids, the way you loved up our girls tonight...more evidence of your wonderful inside.” Ali pressed a soft kiss to her wife’s shoulder as she gradually slowed down her hands, preparing to stop the massage but not wanting it to feel abrupt or sudden. “And I know you feel yucky tonight...bloated and fat and blah...”

“You forgot gross” Ashlyn’s sleepy voice corrected as a tired smile creased her slackening face.

“Oh, ok” Ali giggled and nuzzled into the back of Ashlyn’s neck, breathing her in deeply. “I know you feel bloated and gross and fat and blah, but you look gorgeous honey.”

“Ok, now I know I’m dreaming...”

“Oh hush you” Ali moved closer and spooned her wife from behind. “Is this ok? Can I hold you if I don’t touch your belly?”

“Mmmm Hmmm” the keeper hummed her approval with a nod and even scooted back a bit to meet her beautiful brunette.

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen Ashlyn” Ali kissed her wife’s neck before laying her head down into her own pillow and curling her body around her keeper’s in front of her. “And I don’t know how you do it baby, but you just keep getting more gorgeous every single day.” The brunette took another deep breath as her own body settled in for sleep. “Some kind of voodoo Seminole magic or something” she giggled softly and let her left hand move one last time from her wife’s scalp to her hip where it rested beneath the covers. “I love you so much. Inside and out.”


	36. Fun at the Office & Tough Times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. What a week! Wow.  
> To say that I was not as productive as I had hoped would be an understatement. But it's not my fault!! How was I supposed to concentrate and focus on writing when Ali and Ashlyn were announcing their freaking engagement in real life??!! I'm only human. And I'm weak as hell when it comes to those two. lol  
> Anyway, thanks for your patience. Two more to go after this one.  
> Oh, smut warning in the first half of this chapter.

The very next day was a big one that both Ashlyn and Ali had been looking forward to for several weeks. The keeper knew it had been a tough year for her best friend and wanted to give Whitney a nice surprise for her 44th birthday. She worked with Whitney’s mom and dad and got them to stay through Monday December 1st, the day after the long Thanksgiving weekend. Whitney thought Ryan had taken her parents to the airport first thing Monday morning only to be shocked to see them at the surprise birthday party Ashlyn threw for her at the Knight-Harris office in Cambridge that afternoon. The keeper made sure everybody from the Engen Foundation made their way over to the K-H building along with many of the four-family and other friends too. Whitney was honestly just trying to get through the end of the year by that point, but the party had meant a lot to her and, once she relaxed about it, she ended up having a wonderful time without having to change one part of her day. She went to work as usual and her friends and family brought her birthday party to her.

That morning Ali took the three youngest kids to elementary school and then drove into the K-H offices, as usual. There was a lot she wanted to get done before losing the afternoon to the surprise birthday party – not that she wasn’t looking forward to Whitney’s party. Ali had a list of things to do and she intended to check them all off by lunch time. She knew the day after the long Thanksgiving weekend holiday was typically quiet for K-H and she fully intended to take advantage of it at her desk. December was the quietest month all year long for K-H with several leagues in season, but no playoffs or draft periods happening. The NHL, NWHL, NBA, and NFL were all still playing. The NWSL and NAWPSL (professional softball) had ended in October. The WNBA and MLB finished in early to mid-November. The MLS playoffs had just wrapped up the week before Thanksgiving. Professional golf and tennis tournaments for both men and women weren’t scheduled again until the New Year. It was Ali’s favorite time of year to get to work on her only client – her wife. She had 4 months before K-H’s world got incredibly busy in April and May. Then she’d have four more months before their next insanely busy time in October and November. The first quiet time of the year was dedicated to furthering Ashlyn Harris’ profile and brand. The second quiet time was spent making contacts and inroads with potential sponsors and organizations in preparation for the next beginning of the year quiet time.

Ashlyn was still very popular in the soccer world, both women’s and men’s, and she was the go-to soccer expert for Women’s soccer and had even done some analysis for the men’s game too. Her name was becoming more well-known in the bigger, broader non-sports market as well. Her face was getting into everybody’s home through either the Suburu ads or the American Express commercial. She and Kamala Pierce, the WNBA superstar for the local Boston Beacons, were still doing the Dunkin Donuts promotions and their ads were getting great responses. Dunkin Donuts had changed their name to ‘Dunkin’ and grown even bigger over the past several years. They had always been huge in the New England area where they started, but they were now a big national brand too. And, of course, Nike kept her in their stable of athletes and entertainers. She wasn’t making the kind of money she had with them towards the end of her playing career, but she was still paid handsomely to promote the brand and took great pride in doing so. Her stubbornness about remaining with her sponsors over the years had ended up working in her favor because Ali could point to Ashlyn’s loyalty and faithfulness when she was talking to new sponsors. The companies all knew that if they invested in Ashlyn Harris she would not abandon them or throw them over for the sexy newcomer, whomever that might be.

The keeper had one year left in her position on the President’s Council on Fitness, Sports and Nutrition as well. She was in her 11th year, having been appointed by former President Elizabeth Warren back in 2021. The current president had asked her to continue in her position and although Ashlyn didn’t agree with some of his Republican politics, she stayed in her position because he was much more of a moderate conservative than any Republican had been in recent history. The real reason she stayed was because she believed wholeheartedly in the idea and concept of the council itself. She loved working with organizations, especially youth groups and schools, to teach kids about living a healthy lifestyle and taking good care of your body and your mind. She had slowly but surely managed to incorporate many of the important messages about erasing the stigma against mental health that her own Mental Health Initiative preached every day of its existence.

Ashlyn still sat on the board of directors for TWLOHA and had continued to work closely with both the Lean In style women’s collective as well as the Breastfeeding group. All of this was in addition to her work with Knight-Harris, the Mental Health Initiative, and The Academy. Most of her work was done from the home office in the garage loft but she drove into Boston to the MHI or Cambridge to K-H 2 or 3 mornings a week. She flew to different locations for sponsorship promotions, occasional board meetings, and the President’s Council obligations. The keeper couldn’t believe how incredible her life had turned out. If you had told her 10 years ago that she would be spending her days this way she would have laughed in your face. She and Ali had worked hard for everything and neither of them took any of it for granted. They still sometimes had their struggles maintaining the difference between wife and agent when it came to their work relationship. But they had both grown and matured over the years so it had gotten easier to avoid some of the same pitfalls that had swallowed them up before. As with everything in their life, they enjoyed working together and spending time together. They were still an effective team and they made each other better, no matter what goal was in front of them.

“There she is” Ashlyn grinned as she closed the door to her Knight-Harris office behind her and winked at her wife behind the desk.

All of the executive offices on the fourth floor of K-H were roughly the same size. Only Ali’s office was a tiny bit bigger and that was due to the configuration of the rooms up there and its placement next to the two executive bathrooms along the rear of the main building. Jared and Whitney had their offices along the front of the building, overlooking the street below, and the small conference room was also on that front side. Ashlyn and Hilary’s offices had been re-located to the addition portion of the building back in 2023. The addition stuck out perpendicular to and connected at the back of the main building, turning the structure into a large, reverse-L shape overall. When you got off the elevator on the 4th floor, instead of walking straight ahead down the hall towards Ali and Jared’s offices at the far end, you turned to your right and followed another hallway to the two named partners’ offices. Hilary’s was at the very end of the hallway, at the back of the addition. Ashlyn’s was on the right, between the existing building and Hilary’s office. 

When you walked into Ashlyn’s office it was shaped like an almost square rectangle that was a few feet wider than it was deep. Her desk was in the back right corner and was angled to face the door, much as Ali’s was in her office. There was a big window behind the desk which had two comfy chairs for visitors in front of and facing it. The window took up half of the wall across from the door and the remaining left half was covered with a big floor to ceiling bookcase. The entire left wall of the office was an enormous trophy case full of most of the keeper’s awards, medals, and other achievements from her illustrious career. The only other furniture in the room was the same counter storage area with a built-in mini refrigerator that populated most of the executive offices and all of the conference rooms in the building. Ashlyn’s was in the front right corner of the room, running along the same front wall where the door was located. 

Ali’s favorite part of her wife’s office was the inspirational imagery filling the front and right walls. Some of Ashlyn’s heroes graced those walls but there were quite a few photographs and images of the keeper herself. Those were the brunette’s favorites and what she found herself daydreaming to now and then. 

“Hey” Ali smiled up at her keeper. “What are you doing here? You’re...” she looked at the clock on the wall, “two hours early.”

“What do you mean?” Ashlyn laughed. “You don’t think Whit will be ready for lunch at 10:30am?”

The keeper walked around the desk, her desk that her wife had been using for the past 8 months, and leaned against it so she was facing Ali just next to her, on her left, in the desk chair.

“Yeah, probably not, you goofball” the brunette chuckled and sat back in the chair to get a better look at her beautiful wife. 

Ashlyn looked good. She wore dark jeans, a muted, dusky orange cashmere sweater with a crew neck just wide enough to show most of her laurel leaves tattoo, and dark brown leather boots. The whole thing was completed with a weathered dark brown leather jacket that she had dropped into one of the chairs on her way past the desk. She looked relaxed and happy and perfectly at ease. They had enjoyed a wonderful four days of Thanksgiving that had been busy but peaceful and satisfying too. Ali couldn’t help but smile at her gorgeous keeper. “What’s going on? You’re up to something...”

“I am not” Ashlyn feigned offense and folded her arms across her chest. “Why can’t I just be here to see my hot agent? We have to talk about the new t-shirt designs, don’t we? You’ve been nagging me about that for 2 weeks...”

“Nagging?” the brunette quirked her eyebrow at her playful wife. “I beg your pardon.”

“You heard nagging but you missed hot huh?” Ashlyn smirked and reached out to run her fingertips down her wife’s left arm as it rested on top of the desk next to her.

They grinned at each other and when the blonde smirked again and gave her wife a challenging eyebrow raise, Ali cleared her throat and tried to get serious.

“You’re right. Those t-shirt designs aren’t going to choose themselves” she began leafing through one of the folders on her desk, pretending to care about the graphic designs on the pages inside it. Fake it til you make it – she was a grown woman who could control her own impulses. Right? “Daniel sent up his feedback and gave me his picks, now we just need the designer herself to chime in and we can get these babies into production.”

Ashlyn watched her wife carefully, trying to assess the situation. Ali looked beautiful with her dark hair down around one shoulder and her pretty polka dot patterned blouse. It was royal blue with quarter-sized white dots and she wore it with dark blue slacks and low-heeled dressy black loafers. The boatneck of the blouse was held together in the front with one medium sized blue button where Ali’s clavicles met at the base of her throat. There was an opening in the fabric right below the button that was about an inch wide and went down towards her breasts another four inches. The bare skin Ashlyn could see at her wife’s chest had been distracting her ever since she walked into the office. Now that the brunette had pulled her chair in closer to the desk to pretend to review the designs, Ashlyn’s long arm could reach that small oasis of bare skin. She slowly ran her fingertips up Ali’s left arm and across her collarbone, finally arriving at her chest. She sucked in a breath when she felt the warmth of the brunette’s bare skin, destroying the image of cool she was going for but fighting to get it back a few seconds later.

“You look beautiful baby” Ashlyn complimented sincerely as she let her fingertips trace the oval shaped edge of the opening in the blouse. “And you were so sweet to me last night. I fell asleep before I could tell you that and this morning was so rushed...”

“Ash...what are you doing?” Ali’s amber eyes blinked up with caution and questioning in them. But Ashlyn could clearly see something else there too.

“I’m just trying to thank my wonderful wife for being so...kind...” she picked up Ali’s wrist with her other hand, keeping her other fingertips at the oval as she moved, and kissed the back of her hand... “and good...” she turned Ali’s hand over and pressed a kiss into her palm... “and sweet to me last night when I felt gross” the keeper leaned over and kissed the inside of Ali’s wrist, letting her lips linger on the bare skin there too.

“Mmmm...that’s really nice of you honey...” Ali’s voice was lower than it had been and the keeper saw her squirm in her chair just a bit. “But whatever you think is gonna happen here...” she paused and let out a low chuckle. “Is not gonna happen.”

Ashlyn squeezed Ali’s forearm as she moved behind her chair, bending over and kissing her cheek on her way back there. Thankfully, the office chairs weren’t big, high-backed monstrosities. They were comfortable and supportive and attractive in a normal-sized way. Ashlyn was able to reach her wife’s shoulders as she stood behind the chair and she did so, missing the contact with the skin at her chest almost immediately. 

“You mean I can’t have a meeting with my own agent? What kind of agency is this anyway?” the keeper teased as she began slowly massaging Ali’s shoulders.

“Are you gonna look at these designs and finally make your selections?” the brunette asked even as she felt her eyes start to close in pleasure from the impromptu massage.

“Oh absolutely” Ashlyn agreed smoothly as she bent closer to her wife’s head, finally resting her face right next to Ail’s ear. She loved the smell of her shampoo and moisturizer and even her make-up when she was this close to her beautiful brunette. “But my hands are busy so you’ll need to turn the pages for me.”

Ali was about to object and separate herself from the blonde and her magic hands when she felt Ashlyn nuzzle her cheek against her ear. She had to take a beat to absorb that contact and then, when she was almost ready to open her mouth and tell Ashlyn to stop everything she was doing, Ali felt her wife’s soft, warm lips on her cheek and needed another minute. She finally flipped the first page over in the folder and tried to focus on anything other than Ashlyn’s hands and lips and breath on her cheek and ear and neck. Fuck, that felt good.

“Either...either of these two?” she asked, her voice a little shaky.

“Hmmm...” the keeper hummed next to her wife’s ear as she considered the first two designs. “I don’t think so” she pressed another kiss into Ali’s neck, just below her ear, and let her lips nibble a bit. “What do you think, gorgeous?”

All Ali could think about was her sexy fucking wife. She had gotten hot and bothered for her the night before after hearing her be so sweet with the girls in the tub. But nothing had come of that because Ashlyn’s PMS symptoms had blocked the brunette’s planned advances once they were ready for bed. It had taken Ali a while to calm herself down last night and holding her wife had been both a blessing and a curse as she tried to not think naughty thoughts about her while waiting for sleep to come. Now here Ashlyn was, looking gorgeous and sexy and touching her and breathing on her and being hot as fucking hell. What was Ali supposed to do? She was only human.

“I think you’re a terrible tease” the flustered brunette tried to sound serious but there was too much whine in her voice to pull it off. “So mean...”

“Who said anything about teasing?” the keeper moved her lips lower down Ali’s neck and let her hands slide down from her wife’s shoulders to her breasts. She gave them both a gentle squeeze and felt her own core twitch when Ali leaned her cheek into her head and moaned softly. 

“Fuck Ash...” she whined, low in her throat, as her nipples started to respond to the sensual new touches. “Are you...serious?”

It was remarkable how easily Ali could still be turned into a mushy pile of flesh, aroused and excited and hazy all at the same time, by her sexy wife. It was 10:45am and Ashlyn had only been in her office for 15 minutes and the brunette was already putty in her hands.

“Very...” the blonde mumbled into her wife’s neck, working her way back up the front of it towards Ali’s chin. She moved agonizingly slow, spacing out the words between warm, open-mouthed kisses and licks and nips, “fucking...serious.” 

Ali made one last-ditch effort to keep her brain in control of the proceedings. She calculated the time it would take for a little wifely interruption to her morning and knew there was plenty of time for a quick romp before either of them had to get back to their day. What about getting interrupted while she was enjoying Ashlyn’s interruption? That was what she was really afraid of. Marcy could walk in at any moment, or several other people might come looking to talk to the brunette about any number of different K-H things. As she began to regain some level-headedness and think better of indulging the urge calling out from between her legs, Ali felt one of her keeper’s long arms reach down and cup her crotch – it was almost as if Ashlyn was reading her mind and telling her to let her take care of that urge for her. The keeper teased her wife with light pressure from her fingers through the fashionable dress slacks and that was all Ali could take. She felt the pang from her center as her whole body responded to the blonde’s bold new contact.

“Jesus...” the brunette whimpered.

Ashlyn continued working one hand on a stiffening nipple, the other hand between her wife’s legs, and her lips finally arrived at the corner of Ali’s mouth. The keeper ghosted her lips against Ali’s soft skin before delicately licking her lower lip. She felt the brunette start to turn her head towards her so they could enjoy a real kiss, but she pulled back just as Ali opened her lips.

“Should I lock the door?” the keeper’s voice was husky, filled with her own rapidly mounting desire.

Ali blinked her eyes open, surprised by the break in the action and a little confused.

“Umm...” she stammered, trying to focus on the question instead of her wife’s still-moving hands.

“We’re doing this, right?” Ashlyn leaned in and captured the brunette’s lips in a slow, deep kiss that made them both wet.

“Yes, shit...yes” Ali panted out before pulling away and running to lock the office door. Ashlyn stood there smirking behind the empty desk chair. “I can’t believe this was your plan for today” the brunette chuckled as she locked the door and turned back to her wife. “What are you waiting for? Get your pants off and get comfortable” she wagged her eyebrows and nodded at the chair. “I’ve been dying to get my hands on you since last night.” She watched the blonde pull her jeans down and all the way off one leg, leaving them pooled on the floor around one foot as she sat in the desk chair. Ali felt the passion between her own legs and tried to stay in control, speaking in a low voice as she crossed back to the desk and saw her keeper’s bare skin waiting for her. “Damn my wife is a genius...”

“I’ve always wanted to have sex in here” Ashlyn smirked as she spun the chair a quarter turn so the back of it was facing the big window, just in case. There was nobody close enough to see inside the windows of the 4th floor but there was no sense taking any chances. Especially not with their history.

“Oh, so that’s what this is?” Ali quirked an eyebrow sharply at the blonde as she got on her knees in front of her with dark eyes and eager hands. She lifted Ashlyn’s soft sweater up to her neck and had both hands on her bare breasts as soon as the keeper unhooked her own bra behind her back. “Doesn’t matter who’s down here huh, it’s just about crossing this office off of whatever list you’ve got going?”

The keeper tensed in the chair for a few seconds, afraid Ali was upset with her. It wasn’t until the brunette giggled and pulled her wife’s ass to the edge of the chair that she knew she was just teasing her. Ashlyn breathed a sigh of relief that turned into pleasure as Ali got to work with one hand at her breasts and the other on her ass as they both grinned at each other.

“Yep, you finally figured me out Al...all I...”

But Ali couldn’t wait for the rest of the joke. She leaned forward and crashed their lips together in a bruising kiss that lasted for several minutes as their hands roamed freely.

“Less talking...” the keeper mumbled as she caught her breath after the steamy kiss, “more fucking...yes please...”

Ali’s stomach flipped at her wife’s words, forever turned on by the dirty talk Ashlyn had always been so comfortable with. And good at. The brunette pushed her wife’s legs apart roughly, running a hungry hand up each inner thigh and then scratching her blunt nails against the sensitive skin on her way back down.

“Oh I’m gonna fuck you” she smirked and her voice was as low and thick as it ever got. Ashlyn felt that voice and those words inside her as if Ali already had her fingers there. “I’ll bet you’ve spent a lot of hours in this chair thinking about me fucking you” she leaned forward and pressed her keeper back into the chair with another passionate kiss.

They both moaned again through the kiss and almost got lost in it. But Ali’s desk phone beeped to remind them where they were and how little private time they might have.

“Ali, you’ve got a call on line 4...” the receptionist’s voice filled the office.

“Take a message” the brunette gasped out, hoping to God she didn’t sound as hot and bothered and out of breath as she actually was. “Hold my calls please” she thought quickly, hoping to cut off any further intrusions as she gave Ashlyn a devilish look and pushed two fingers up into her pulsing center without any other warning. 

“Oh...” the keeper groaned.

“Yes ma’am. I’m sorry...was there anything else?” the receptionist asked.

“No...nothing else...” Ali replied as she got lost in how good her wife’s pussy felt all around her fingers.

Ashlyn covered her own mouth with her hand, waiting to hear the intercom click off on the desk next to her. Ali didn’t stop though. She moved her strong fingers inside her wife’s soaked walls while leaning forward again and taking a beautiful pink nipple into her mouth. Once she heard the click from the desk she increased all of her activity.

“Mmmmm...” she moaned into her keeper’s soft breast and felt Ashlyn hold on to the back of her head with one strong hand. “God you feel good...you taste good...you smell good...” she punctuated each phrase with a suck or a flick or a nibble to Ashlyn’s hard nipple.

The blonde arched her back and closed her eyes in pleasure. She kept one hand over her mouth, not taking any chances. They had both gotten good at having quieter sex over the years. It had just been a necessity living in a house with 4 or 5 children sleeping in it at any given time. They both preferred the times when they could be as loud as they wanted. There were few things that turned Ali on more than hearing her sexy wife moan and whine her way all the way up to her release.

“Fuck...” the keeper mumbled a string of words behind her hand that her wife couldn’t understand. But Ali got the gist of it.

In a perfect world, they both would have been naked but Ali was still fully clothed, except for her silky blouse that Ashlyn had pulled up around her chest at some point while they were kissing. And the keeper’s soft sweater was tucked up under her chin and armpits, her grey bra, complete with small white skull pattern, flopping loosely on top of her chest as Ali’s head kept it up and out of the way. Her jeans were in a pile around one of her feet and the brunette tried hard not to roll the wheels of the chair over them. They could both hear the office world going on around them. There was a muted laugh from down the hall, the sound of one of the executive bathroom doors swinging open or shut, the ding of the elevator and the scraping sound of the heavy stairwell door that was just on the other side of Ashlyn’s office wall next to them. They heard the overhead ventilation kick on and then off again while they were busy in their own world, and the sound of the clock on the wall, and the slight squeak of the chair itself that was being put through its paces that morning. All of it was background noise to the symphony of quiet but urgent gasps and groans and mewls and hums coming from both women as they moved together toward ecstasy. Ali could hear her wife’s breathing get heavier and her slick folds get wetter and sloppier as she pumped her fingers in and out, faster and harder as Ashlyn writhed beneath her. She desperately wanted to taste her keeper’s pussy, but she knew the blonde would balk at it. Ashlyn wanted to have her turn with Ali and there was no guarantee of anything that morning in the office, even with the door locked. If Ali tried to prolong her wife’s impending orgasm by dropping her mouth and eating her out, Ashlyn would cry foul and beg her to get her off first. But the brunette had to have a taste...even if just a brief one.

Ali let her left hand take over the keeper’s breasts and nipples while she slid her warm mouth down the center of her slowly undulating body. As always, admiring the tattoos along the way. Ashlyn was rocking her hips and rolling with the strong thrusts from her wife’s fingers. She was dazed by all the electric touches between their two bodies, eyes closed and hand still over her mouth. The brunette’s lips finally reached the mound she was craving, and she moaned louder than she had so far that morning.

“Oh fuck yeah...” she husked out as she let her tongue find her wife’s aching clit. “God I love this...”

“Al...iii...” Ashlyn complained in a long, drawn-out, two-syllable whine.

“I just want a taste...”

“We don’t have time...”

“I know” the brunette sucked hard on the sensitive nub, making her wife gasp. She flicked the swollen clit a few times with her tongue and then pressed down on it for a couple of seconds, humming into the flesh and moving her face back and forth. “Just a taste.”

“Goddamn...oh fuck...oh God that feels good...”

Ali let her wife pull her head tighter against her most-sensitive spot and the brunette had to change the angle of her thrusting hand so she didn’t hit herself in the face. She chuckled and hummed some more, loving how lost her keeper was getting. It would only take a few more minutes for her orgasm to hit. That moment in time – between the delicious build up and the magnificent release – was always bittersweet for Ali. Nothing was better than working her wife up into a lather as she got ready to come. But nothing was better than getting Ashlyn off and feeling her shake in her arms either. How could that possibly be? After all that time together, Ali still thought the same thing at both those moments, every time they had sex. And that moment in time between those two experiences always made her happy and sad. Happy for the release that was about to come and sad for the end of the build up that had been so incredible to be a part of. 

“Please baby...” Ashlyn whimpered, feeling like she might explode if she didn’t come right that second.

Ali pressed her head back against her wife’s hand and chuckled when the blonde opened her eyes and gave her a dirty, confused look.

“You wanna come?” she gave her wife an adorable but dopey grin. When Ashlyn whined in frustration, bit her lip and nodded, Ali continued. “Then you gotta let my head go” she winked and chuckled again when Ashlyn rolled her eyes. 

The keeper released her wife’s head but grabbed a fistful of brunette locks as their lips met in another heated kiss. Ali changed her thrusting hand to the squeezing motion she knew Ashlyn loved when she was ready for her release. She pressed her thumb into the keeper’s clit, squeezing more and more against her g-spot, and felt the first tremble roll through Ashlyn’s thigh. 

“Yes baby...yessss...” Ashlyn breathed out after the kiss, still holding her wife’s head close to her own as their hot cheeks moved against one another.

Ali brought her left hand down and started to rub her wife’s sensitive nub with purpose, making Ashlyn grip her bicep and hold on for dear life. 

“That feels good, doesn’t it...” the sensual words oozed out of her mouth as she breathed Ashlyn in, loving how close together they were in that moment. “I’ve got you, sexy...so fucking beautiful...Jesus, you’re gorgeous...”

Ashlyn let go of her wife’s arm and began tugging on her own nipples as Ali kept up her hard and fast rubbing at her clit and squeezing inside the blonde’s tightening walls. 

“Oh God...” Ashlyn grunted and squirmed as she enjoyed the last few seconds of her incredible climb. 

“Come for me sexy...”

“Oh!”

“Shhhh...” Ali tried to mute the loud shout by kissing her wife again.

“Mmmmmm...” Ashlyn moaned and squealed as she felt her orgasm wash over her. “Mmrrrphhh...” she grunted unintelligible words into Ali’s mouth as her body started to shake.

“Yes...fuck yes baby...” the brunette cooed as she held onto her wife while she bucked through her orgasm. “I love you...” she whispered as she pressed soft kisses into the side of Ashlyn’s face and ear and neck.

“I guess...so...” Ashlyn exhaled a breathy chuckle as her body recovered from the high. “And to think...you had your...doubts about this...”

“I never doubted your genius plan for a second” the brunette poked her wife three different times in rapid succession, each time finding an undefended place near her breasts.

“Whatever” the keeper giggled as she tried to protect herself without pulling too far away from her sexy wife. “I’m just glad you listened to the devil on your shoulder instead of the angel.”

“That devil is you” Ali kissed her again and giggled. “And I’ll listen to it every time.”

“I was so scared you were gonna change your mind when you got up to lock the door” Ashlyn laughed and sat up a bit.

“No way, once you started to take your jeans off I was toast” she chuckled and leaned on her wife’s knees to stand up off the floor. Ashlyn winced and sucked in a breath but not from an aftershock of pleasure. “Aw babe, your knee” Ali frowned and bent over to kiss her wife’s sore knee. “I’m sorry.”

“Nah, it’s all good” Ashlyn smiled softly at the brunette, pulling her closer and starting to undo her dress slacks for her. “And I know what’ll make it feel so much better...” she wagged her eyebrows.

“You sure?” Ali giggled as she unhooked her own bra and lifted her blouse up, never taking her eyes off of the lanky blonde in front of her who was pulling the dress pants and panties down to the floor. The brunette couldn’t wait for her wife’s hands to finish what they had started earlier with her aching nipples. 

“I’m so sure...Sugar” Ashlyn drawled as she ran her hands up the back of Ali’s bare legs, rejoicing with a loud moan when they finally found the most amazing ass in the entire world. “Spread your legs and I’ll show you...”

//

Most of the heavy things that Whitney Flanagan had been carrying with her back in February had worked themselves out over the course of the challenging year. Becca Flanagan, who turned six in March, had finally chosen her birthday party theme, with a little prodding from Auntie Ashlyn. The four-families had come together to celebrate at a Doc McStuffins themed party, complete with live pets who Doctor Becca and her crack team of veterinarians examined and ‘cured’ before the end of the afternoon. Lily Krieger was blown away at the concept of having people bring their dogs and cats with them to the birthday party and both Ali and Ashlyn knew what their daughter would ask them for at her next birthday.

The lack of interns at the Engen Foundation had been problematic, for sure. But some creative appropriation of Knight-Harris volunteers and interns helped cover the gap and allowed Whitney to keep helping the people of Boston and Cambridge who needed legal services the most. By the time the Fall semester began in September, the number of official Engen Foundation interns had increased over even what it had been in the previous, fully-staffed year. Ashlyn and a couple of high-profile athletes from K-H pitched in and did a promotional ad for Whitney and the foundation back in April. It was geared for college students and encouraged them to get involved in the worthy cause. Whitney received so many applicants that she had to limit the actual interns to those who had or were pursuing legal experience. It was a great example of how the 4-family friends leant a hand to each other whenever necessary. Whichever of them needed help with their jobs or their activities or causes or kids or pets, the other members of the close-knit group of friends automatically stepped up. They had all benefitted from it in one way or another over the years and knew they would continue to support each other, no matter what.

The best outcome of all of the things worrying Whitney back in February was the clean bill of health her mother had received that summer. Kim Engen had undergone some precautionary chemotherapy that Spring after finding a lump in her breast. The second biopsy in June, post-chemo, had allayed everybody’s worst fears. It had been frightening and the doctors suggested she be more vigilant than usual, just to be safe, but Whitney’s mom was back to her full schedule of activities as a fit retiree. It hadn’t been until after Ashlyn returned from the World Cup in England and could spend some quality one-on-one time with her bestie that Whitney finally let all of her fear and anguish out. The keeper held her and listened and took care of her best friend the way the two of them had been doing for 26 years. Whitney’s family, aside from her sister-in-law’s troubles getting and staying pregnant, had been remarkably and almost freakishly healthy as long as Ashlyn had known them. Something about the Scandinavian genes was always the easy joke. But Kim Engen’s surprising cancer scare had shaken them all profoundly. 

The good news about Whitney’s mom almost overshadowed the growing concern about little Tommy Flanagan’s strange year of ill health. But not quite. While the end of the summer had been full of celebratory relief about Kim Engen’s good diagnosis, the Fall had slipped quickly back into worry about why 4-1/2 year old Tommy was constantly sick. Whitney and Ryan had tried everything they could think of to keep their rambunctious son healthy that year. They bought air purifiers and changed his diet. They hired a company to come into their house and make sure there wasn’t any hidden mold or other contagion that was affecting the boy and not anybody else. They detoxified the house as much as humanly and chemically possible, and then worried that maybe they had used too many chemicals in the process. The concern over Tommy’s health ate away at both of them until they began fighting with each other over silly things that normally wouldn’t have bothered either one of them. All the while they took him to the best doctors and specialists they could find – all without getting any solid answers or diagnoses. 

The rest of the four-families were just as worried about the baby of their tight-knit group. Tommy had a special place in all their hearts because he was the youngest of all of the kids. He had been the baby that they all doted on because their own little ones were growing up faster than anybody was ready for. Ali especially had latched onto Tommy and spent more time with him the first four years of his life than anybody but his parents and sister. The brunette could often be found down in the small nursery of Knight-Harris, playing with or reading to the big boy. This September was the first time Tommy started going to preschool and it had been a big adjustment for the Flanagans and Ali. Tommy had been a huge baby when he was born and he had been a healthy active toddler up until the end of last year, 2030. He was loud and happy and boisterous and adorable – and was shaping up to be a lot like Dodge Krieger, for better or worse. Even Ryan was a little nervous that his son would have all of Dodge’s energy and enthusiasm, except in a bigger, stronger body that would cause even more mayhem than Dodge ever could. 

But something had been off with Tommy for a full year now and everybody was getting frustrated and upset about it. The four-family friends knew better than to make a bunch of suggestions or false proclamations about his condition. They knew it wasn’t helpful. What was helpful was taking care of Becca so Ryan and Whitney could bring Tommy to another doctor’s appointment without having to worry about their little girl too. With Ali back working every day at the K-H office, Whitney felt more comfortable being away from work to do those things for her son. And after six months of getting inconclusive results and opinions from the best specialists in Boston, the Flanagans had finally started to make some progress with an enzyme specialist at Boston’s Children’s Hospital.

“What do you mean an enzyme deficiency?” Ashlyn questioned her best friend that afternoon, the 1st of December. Whitney had just shared news that only she and Ryan knew at the moment.

It was almost 2pm and they were just finishing lunch near the K-H office. Ashlyn had been the person chosen to get Whitney out of the building for a while so everybody else could get things set up for the surprise party inside. The keeper had convinced her bestie to let her take her to a late lunch for her birthday – but she had to agree not to give her any other present. Ashlyn was fine with that, knowing the party was the real gift anyway.

“They think he might be missing an enzyme that’s causing problems with his metabolism” Whitney shrugged and then sighed. She looked and sounded exhausted and frustrated and defeated and it broke Ashlyn’s heart. “We’re still waiting for some tests to come back. There are a lot of enzymes it could be.”

“Wow. Ok” Ashlyn nodded as her mind raced to process the information and find a way to try and cheer up her best friend too.

They were both quiet for a minute and Whitney flagged down the waitress, eager to get back to the office. The lawyer was always in a rush now, even more so than other working mothers with two young kids usually were. The keeper’s brain was working hard and she willed it to work faster.

“Hey now, just relax a minute...can you?” Ashlyn asked carefully, reaching across the table to pat her bestie’s arm as she focused on her pretty light brown eyes that housed so much anxiety. “Can you?”

Whitney met her best friend’s gaze and nodded, closing her eyes for a few seconds and exhaling loudly. Ashlyn took the check from the waitress and dropped it quietly next to her on the booth seat. She was pleasantly surprised when the stoic blonde across from her took her hand and squeezed it, not letting it go.

“I’m just...it’s a lot of awful possibilities” Whitney opened her eyes again and spoke in choked words as she fought hard not to cry. “There are so many things it could be and...none of them are good Ash.”

“It’s scary as hell” the keeper said softly. “I can’t even imagine” she shook her head but kept her eyes on Whitney. They shared a meaningful look and the lawyer took a deep breath as she tried to settle herself down.

“Some of the outcomes...they’re terrible. But, if he’s lucky, if it’s not something too serious, he could be ok with enzyme replacement therapy” Whitney explained, trying to keep her voice and heart as optimistic as possible. “It all depends on the test results.”

Ashlyn said the only thing she could think of that might be a positive. “As scary as it is, I think it’s huge that you’re getting close to a real answer. I think not knowing is gonna drive both you and Ryan crazy.” She paused. “I know it’s making both Ali and me nuts. I don’t know how you guys are holding it together. But we’re here for you Whit. Always. Right here. Whatever you need” she squeezed the lawyer’s hand and looked directly into her troubled eyes. “I mean it.”

“Thanks, I know” Whitney choked out as tears threatened again.

“And Tommy’s such a tough kid. If anybody can beat this, whatever it turns out to be, it’s him. I know it. I’m not just saying that either” she shook her head seriously, her eyes flashing with intensity. “He’s a fighter and his parents are fighters and there’s no way in hell anybody’s giving up until he’s won this fight. Right?”

“Right” Whitney’s voice was quiet as she nodded meekly in agreement.

But Ashlyn saw what she was looking for in those pale brown eyes she had stared into for so many years when times were tough for either of them. She saw the spark. It was faint, but it would get stronger and then it would start the fire that Whitney would need to power herself and her son through the shitty situation. It occurred to Ashlyn that she had never seen her best friend look so thoroughly empty before. She started to think the surprise party was a terrible mistake.

“Ok, listen” the keeper lowered her voice and leaned across the table with a cautious smile on her serious face. “I’m not supposed to tell you this and I can’t believe I’m the one who’s gonna ruin the surprise...”

“What surprise?”

“Your surprise birthday party, back at the office” Ashlyn nodded in the general direction of the K-H building, two blocks away.

“Ugh, Ash...” Whitney’s shoulders slumped and she let her body slide down into the booth seat as she groaned.

“I know, I know...that’s why I’m telling you now” the keeper explained quickly. “I’m throwing you a surprise birthday party and your mom and dad are back at the office right now waiting to celebrate...”

“They are?” Whitney’s face registered shock and then happiness at the news. It had been harder than usual to say goodbye to her mother this visit.

“They are” Ashlyn nodded and squeezed the lawyer’s hand again. “But I didn’t know any of this about Tommy or I would never have set you up like this Whit. If you’re not up for the party I’ll help you sneak out...”

Whitney sighed again but it didn’t sound nearly as defeated as it had before. She sat up straighter and pulled her hand back to try and make sure her make-up was still where it was supposed to be. She still looked exhausted and overwhelmed, but there was a hopefulness in her eyes that hadn’t been there at the beginning of lunch.

“No, no don’t do that” she shook her head. “You’re sweet and I know you would absolutely help me bail on my own party” she chuckled. “But I can’t do that to my parents.”

“Yeah, that would lead to all sorts of questions...”

“Well, yeah, that too I guess. I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Are you not telling them for a reason?”

“We just wanna wait until we know what the fuck we’re dealing with, once and for all. Then we’ll tell them. We’re not hiding it or anything. But it’s easier to just not talk about it at all sometimes, instead of trying to guess what’s going on.”

“I get it. Makes sense” the keeper smiled encouragingly. “Well I won’t say anything until you’re ready.”

“You can tell Ali” Whitney added as she ran her fingers through her blonde hair in final preparation for the walk back to work.

“Oh thank God” Ashlyn exhaled in relief and rolled her eyes at herself. “You’re always looking out for me Whit. Even when you’re the one in trouble. God I love you bestie.”

“I love you too Ash. Thanks” Whitney smiled and nodded appreciatively at her best friend. “For everything.”

“I’d do anything for you. Anything.” Ashlyn paused, surprised by how emotional they had both gotten in the past minute or so. “Now let’s go eat some cake.”

“That actually sounds awesome” the lawyer chuckled as Ashlyn handed the check and her credit card to the waitress. “Cake makes everything better.”

“It does, but you’ve gotta act surprised, ok? Your parents will kill me if they find out I made them give up half a day with their grandkids and then ruined the surprise my damned self.”

“Fine, I’ll act surprised” Whitney laughed and then was quiet for several seconds. “Do I look ok?”

Whitney had never been a fashion plate or an uber-confident party girl, but Ashlyn couldn’t remember her seeming so unsure of herself as she did in that moment. All of the stress and worry about Tommy over the past 12 months had left the lawyer unsure of almost everything she thought she had ever known. It had happened so slowly and over such a long period of time that Ashlyn had barely noticed the change in her best friend. Whitney’s light had literally dimmed right before Ashlyn’s eyes and the keeper hadn’t recognized it until it was almost completely extinguished. She started down the well-worn path of harsh self-judgment but caught herself a minute in. There would be time later to beat herself up about being an unobservant friend. Right now, that afternoon on December 1st, was about Whitney. Ashlyn would make sure her friend had a good time at her birthday party and nothing more or less. That would be enough for this day. Ashlyn vowed to herself that afternoon that she would do anything in her power to help her best friend get through whatever came next with Tommy. Nothing else would be more important, aside from her own family, going forward. And she knew that Ali would agree with her and that the two of them would find a way to keep their own family going and make time to help the Flanagans. After everything Whitney had done for both of them over the years there was simply no way the Kriegers weren’t going to be there for them now. Filled with more love for Whitney Elizabeth Engen Flanagan than she thought her heart could possibly hold, Ashlyn gave her best friend a hug and kissed her cheek before pulling back and looking at her.

“You look beautiful Whit. Strong and smart and beautiful. Just like always.”


	37. The Kids in Ali's Tree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Penultimate chapter here everybody. Hope you like it.

Later that same week, on Wednesday afternoon, Ali went to see Naomi for her long-awaited tattoo appointment. Even though she had been planning it for almost a decade, the brunette was still nervous. She had faith in Naomi and she felt confident about the design itself, but she couldn’t help her anxiety as she walked into the shop in Cambridge. Ashlyn knew her wife was stressing about the ink and she tried to help put her at ease in the days leading up to the appointment. It was a big deal for her careful, precise brunette and the keeper knew it. Nobody took their own tattoos more seriously than Ashlyn did, but she always found the process invigorating and exciting, not stressful. Ali was a different story. What the keeper didn’t know was that part of her wife’s anxiety about her latest tattoo was the timing of it. She had plans in the middle of the month and she wanted it to be completely healed by then. And due to both she and Naomi’s busy schedules, she would now be cutting it very close indeed. If she was honest with herself Ali knew she was going to be off by about a week. Oh well, it’s not like she’d had over 8 years to plan it out or anything since the twins had been born. It was up to the brunette to let the mistiming affect her, or not.

“Mommy!” Dodge yelled when he saw Ali emerge from the backstairs and join the freshly showered family in the master bedroom.

“Stop jumping on the bed!” Ashlyn corrected their youngest son for the third time in the past 10 minutes. “I’m not telling you again Dodger” she quirked her eyebrow at the boy and frowned.

“Sor-reeee” he said with an impossibly charming grin on his face as he plopped onto his butt on the bed in one final jump that made Ashlyn’s eyebrow raise even higher. Lily giggled and Dodge joined her while their Mama finished putting moisturizer on Josie’s body.

“Hi babies” Ali cooed, as she draped her work clothes, on hangers, onto the glider chair, happy to be home.

“Why aren’t you wearing your work clothes?” Drew looked up from his tablet, taking in the whole scene from his spot propped up against the headboard on Ali’s side of the bed.

He was as far away from the fray as possible and nobody could blame him. Family storytime each night was an ever-changing thing. The moms adapted it as the kids got older. Josie and the twins were still very much interested in reading stories with their moms but the same could not always be said of Drew. He was 12-1/2 years old and allowed to do his own thing after dinner as long as it included a shower and completing his homework. Sometimes he joined his siblings and his moms, like tonight, but played a game on his tablet instead of focusing on the story. Sometimes he listened attentively to Ashlyn or Ali reading whatever book the family was sharing at the time. Sometimes he stayed downstairs in the front living room watching tv while everybody went up for storytime. Josie would soon be doing the same things but, at 10-1/2 years old, she still loved storytime. She loved the new freedom she had been given on her 10th birthday, but she often forgot to exercise it.

“Oh, well,” Ali looked quickly at Ashlyn who was standing between the foot of the bed and the master bathroom door helping Josie into her pajamas. The keeper shrugged back and winked at her flummoxed wife. The shrug meant Ashlyn was ok if Ali wanted to share her news with the kids and the wink told her that they had been pretty good that afternoon and evening and there were no big issues to handle that night. “I had an appointment this afternoon, after I left work.” She paused as the twins looked back at Drew as if they were surprised that he was in the room with them. Sometimes he was so quiet that they really did forget he was there. Ali waited a minute until all five people, and Logan who was doing her best to help Ashlyn and Josie, gave her their attention. “I got my new tattoo today...”

All four kids looked at her with different versions of a puzzled expression on their cute faces. Ashlyn finished with Josie and picked up the brush on her way to the foot of the bed where Lily was waiting for her to take care of her messy hair. The keeper laughed softly when she saw the kids’ reaction to her wife’s announcement.

“YOU got a new tattoo?” Drew’s eyes were wide and he was so surprised that he turned his tablet off and set it down next to him on the bed.

The other three kids looked from Drew to Ali, waiting expectantly for more information. Even Lily, with Ashlyn brushing her long blonde hair out behind her, angled her head so she could see her freshly tattooed mother.

“Yes, I got a new tattoo” Ali chuckled as she moved to the bed and accepted a big hug from Dodge and then one from Josie. She positioned her body so there weren’t too many little arms and hands near her lower left side. “You all seem so shocked” she giggled as she walked to the foot of the bed to hug Lily and give Ashlyn a quick kiss, patting Logan along the way. “You remember I have some tattoos too, right?” she finally made it over to Drew on the other side of the bed for one last hug.

“Where is it?” he cocked his head after their hug but stayed on his knees on the bed looking into his mother’s face. “Can we see it?”

The kids always knew about Ashlyn’s tattoos in advance because the keeper couldn’t hide her own excitement any better than the kids could keep theirs under wraps. If they were awake when Ashlyn came home with a new tattoo, she showed them and they talked about it together. Ali hadn’t gotten a tattoo since the kids had been born so this was unfamiliar territory for the family.

“Do you want to see it?” Ali looked from one kid to the next and grinned at the eagerness on their faces.

“I know I sure want to see it” Ashlyn chimed in as she finished with Lily’s hair, releasing the girl who scampered over to Drew and their Mommy in two seconds flat.

“I wanna see it! Please Mommy, pleeeeeease” the little blonde begged.

All four kids were soon kneeling near the edge of the bed, waiting for Ali to show off her new ink. Ashlyn moved next to her wife too, more excited than she thought was possible. Ali was her perfect woman, in every way. But the concept of her getting another tattoo had caused the keeper’s mind to blow and she had not been shy about letting the brunette know. As always, Ali was flattered and moved by the way her wife loved and appreciated her body. It thrilled her to know that Ashlyn would probably be worked up about her new ink for a long time to come. She knew from experience how she always reacted to her keeper’s new tattoos.

“Ok, but remember, it’s fresh and not very pretty right now” the brunette cautioned as she turned to her right so her left side was facing the bed. She lifted her sweatshirt and t-shirt up with one hand and pulled the waistband of her joggers down with the other, exposing the angry looking new tattoo. It was still covered in the clear plastic bandage but was easy to see. “There it is...”

“What is it?”  
“It’s a tree you dummy.”  
“Why did you get a tree?”  
“It’s messing up your letters though.”

“Wow, it’s beautiful honey” Ashlyn’s awestruck voice was the only one that registered with the brunette in that moment. 

Ali heard the kids’ questions and comments but they were not her focus just then. She would answer them in a minute, but for that one moment she watched her keeper staring at the new tattoo on her body and felt like she could walk on air.

“Don’t call your brother a dummy” the brunette frowned at Drew. “Do you guys remember me telling you the story of my favorite tree in the whole wide world?”

“Yeah, the treehouse tree!” Dodge offered enthusiastically and Ali was surprised that he was still so full of energy that late in the evening.

“No, not the treehouse tree” she exchanged a quick look with her keeper who knew how much Ali hated the treehouse. “When I was in college I went and lived in Germany for a year...”

“You guys remember the story of Mommy’s big old oak tree” Ashlyn interrupted after kissing Ali’s cheek and patting her non-tattooed hip. “When we visited Germany she took me to see it and we couldn’t find it...”

The kids loved that story and both moms had told it often as they were growing up. Ashlyn couldn’t believe they had forgotten it already.

“Oh yeah, but it got hit by lightning” Josie nodded as she began to recall the story of Mommy’s favorite tree.

“And they made benches and stuff out of it” Drew added the part he loved the best.

“That’s right” Ali smiled. “Well this is that tree.”

“Before they made it into benches” Dodge clarified for nobody but himself and maybe Lily.

Ashlyn’s hand had been holding onto her wife’s right hip throughout the discussion and she had no desire to move it. She bent over so she could get a closer look at the fresh ink, taking the job of holding the joggers down for the brunette who rewarded her by resting her left arm on her keeper’s back.

“I see something else in here too” Ashlyn prompted with authentic excitement in her voice.

The tattoo was just as Ali had described to her wife back in May. It was the big ancient oak tree from Frankfurt, full of leaves, and it was 8” wide by 6” high. It was all done in black ink with shades of grey to add the depth and detail to the leaves and branches and limbs. The thick trunk was in the middle, where it should be, but slightly off-center. The leaves at the top of the tree pushed up into the lowest line of text from her Little Prince quote that was directly above it. Naomi had added several loose leaves up in and among the other lines to help blend the two tattoos together. It had turned out even more beautifully than Ali had hoped because Naomi had skillfully made sure the two different sections of ink gelled together and were the right proportion for each other. The tree would have been lovely enough and worthy of some space on the brunette’s gorgeous body just as it was. But it was extra special because of what was subtly hidden in the leaves.

“What else is there?” Drew frowned as he leaned closer to Ali.

“Is it a snake?” Lily asked fearfully. She had always been freaked out by big snakes since seeing The Jungle Book movie and she expected them in trees because of it.

“No, no snakes or any other animals in the tree” Ali reassured them.

“Hey, there’s a heart” Dodge pointed at the trunk of the tree where a small heart had been carved.

“What’s inside it?” Drew leaned even closer to try and answer his own question. 

“A + A” what does that mean?” Lily asked and made both moms appreciate her naïvete.

“It’s for them” Drew laughed but not in a jerky way. He seemed to like the sappy touch. “It’s their initials.”

“It means we love each other” Ashlyn took over the explanation. “A for Ali and A for Ashlyn. When you write that inside a heart it means you’re in love.”

“Aw, I love the heart” Josie smiled.

“That was a good job spotting the heart Dodger, it’s pretty small” Ali praised their son. “But that’s not what Mama meant. There’s something else in there. Something small for each one of you, and one for Meg too.”

Ashlyn stood up again and gave her wife a real kiss, still somewhat chaste, as the kids all carefully studied the tree. Naturally, it turned into a competition to see who could find whatever was hidden in the tattoo first.

“I see a J!” Josie yelled and almost fell off the edge of the bed in her excitement.

“Whoa, easy there wild one” Ashlyn chuckled as she grabbed the redhead’s upper arm with her free hand, helping her regain her balance. “Everybody relax.”

“That’s right Jose, there’s a J in the leaves and that’s for you. J for Josie” Ali grinned down at the girl who was beaming back up at her.

“Where? It’s so small.”  
“I wanna see!”  
“Wow that’s awesome!”

It took some time but each kid found their initial with some guidance from their moms.

There were 5 small letters tucked away and spread out among the branches and leaves of the tree. Once you saw them you’d always be able to find them. But if you didn’t know they were there you probably wouldn’t notice them. The letters and the small heart on the trunk were all very subtle, and that was by design. Ali wanted everybody to see the beautiful tree for what it was. Only then would you be able to find the hidden meaning inside it.

“M for Meg, big D for Drew, J for Josie, little d for Dodge, and L for Lily” Ali summarized at the end of the unusual seek and find adventure. “All of my loves in my special favorite tree. Forever” she winked at Ashlyn who grinned back at her.

“Ha ha, you have a little d” Drew teased his younger brother but not as harshly as he otherwise might have. 

Both moms took notice of the restraint he had shown but still had to call him out on it.

“Dodge has a little d because he’s the younger brother. You have a big D because you’re the older brother. It’s always going to be that way you guys” Ali’s voice was serious but soft. “No matter how many years go by you’re always going to be his big brother” she nodded at Drew. 

“And no matter how big he gets, even if he gets to be as big as Uncle Chris, he’s always going to be your little brother” Ashlyn added, taking advantage of the moment to preach again to their oldest son. 

It caused both moms a ton of heartache to see Drew be so tough on Dodge all the time. They hated it but knew there was only so much they could do about it. They hoped that the boys would find their way to a closer relationship as they grew and matured. They weren’t betting on it, but they hoped like hell. 

“So if I was you I’d start figuring out a way to get along better” the blonde suggested. “You might need each other along the way.”

An hour later, after getting the kids into bed for the night and explaining for the tenth time already why the dogs’ names hadn’t been included in the tattoo, the two moms reconnected down in the kitchen. The big old house had been decorated for Christmas since that weekend and there was Christmas music playing as usual for the whole month of December. Ali was eating some leftover chicken and pasta because she had missed dinner, and Ashlyn had just finished taking Logan for a quick walk.

“Was that enough for you? Do you want something else?” the keeper asked as she came up behind her wife who was sitting at the small 2-person table in front of the fireplace. She squeezed Ali’s shoulders and pressed a chilly kiss into her cheek, making her recoil and squeal.

“Geeeeeez! You’re cold!” the brunette shivered and then giggled.

“Well it’s cold outside” Ashlyn laughed and kissed her wife’s head instead.

“You better warm those lips up then because I want a kiss” Ali declared with a chuckle as she tilted her head up towards the blonde.

The keeper rubbed her own lips with her hand, blowing raspberries into her palm and making them both laugh.

“There. Good to go” she announced as she bent down to meet Ali’s lips. She held back just before their lips touched, making the brunette close the distance and work for the kiss.

“Mmmmm...much better” Ali hummed happily and caressed her wife’s still chilly cheek. “Love you.”

“Love you too” Ashlyn stole an extra kiss before standing back up. “Can I see it again?”

The keeper was like an impatient child trying to get a look at something they could not contain their excitement over.

“Ahh” Ali sighed dramatically, “I remember when you used to get that excited about seeing my body, not just a tattoo...” she teased as she leaned to her right so her wife could move her clothes out of the way and take another look at the tree on her left side. “Those were the days.”

“Oh don’t even” Ashlyn shook her head and rolled her eyes, calling her wife on her bullshit without skipping a beat. “You know damned well I lose my mind when I see your body. Always have and always will. So just don’t even...”

“Ok, ok” Ali giggled as she ate the last bit of her late dinner. She knew her wife was right because she still felt the same way when she saw Ashlyn’s body. Still after 15 years. She couldn’t imagine the feeling ever weakening. “I was just kidding. Calm down” she laughed.

Ashlyn squatted down next to her wife’s side and studied the new tattoo carefully. It had been hard to take it all in before with the kids clamoring all around them. She remembered how good it felt when Ali admired one of her new tattoos when she had brought them all home to her over the years. It had always been the icing on the cake for the keeper. Knowing that the brunette adored and revered her tattoos was a blessing Ashlyn never took for granted. She had often wondered if her sweet wife had gone over the top in an attempt to make sure she felt good about her new ink. Now that she was looking at Ali’s freshly tattooed skin, Ashlyn knew her wife had been genuine all along. It was a wonderful feeling to have something added to Ali’s body that made Ashlyn love it even more. It felt similar to when she realized she liked the short hairs between the brunette’s legs a bit more plentiful. There had been absolutely nothing missing from her wife’s body before this day. There was nothing Ashlyn could even dream of changing or improving about Ali’s body. But now that her beloved tree had been added to her side, the keeper found herself, somehow, loving her wife’s gorgeous form even more. It didn’t make any sense but it felt wonderful and Ashlyn chose not to work too hard figuring it out or explaining it to herself. She just enjoyed it and did her best to make sure Ali knew how magnificent she was before and after her beautiful tree.

“I love the way Naomi made the letters pop just a little bit, almost like they’re raised up or...like in bold type or something” the keeper tilted her head as she moved her face closer to Ali’s skin trying to see past the temporary rawness of the work, and the plastic, to the real ink. “Did you tell her to do that?”

“I told her I wanted to see them but I didn’t want to see them first when I looked at the whole thing. You know?”

“Yeah, that’s perfect” Ashlyn wanted to touch it, even through the plastic wrap, but her hands were occupied holding her wife’s shirt up and waistband down. It was also too soon for a lot of touching anyway. She would just have to be patient. “How did you decide where the kids’ letters would go?”

“I wanted to start with the oldest up near the top, so it was kinda like they grew with the tree. The tree got bigger as they got older. I know the timing doesn’t really work because the tree was already gone and was hundreds of years old...”

“Nah, I think that’s cool. It’s your tattoo. Your timing. Your tree now.”

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely” Ashlyn nodded. 

The initials began with M near the very top, then D a bit lower and on the left, then J lower still and over on the right, L below them all but back on the left, and finally small d at the same height as the L but on the right.

“You kept Dodge over with Josie on purpose didn’t you?”

“I did” Ali grinned. “He’s the older twin so he should have gone back over on the left but I figured why fight it?” she explained. “Drew and Lily are their own pair most of the time and so are Josie and Dodge so why not?” she shrugged.

“I wonder if they’ll ever notice that?” the keeper smiled up at her wife who was watching her get acquainted with the new ink now that her dinner was done. “Probably not.”

“You never know. I’m sure one of them will figure it out at some point. Either way, we know who they are and how they are.”

“We sure do” Ashlyn chuckled. “Thanks for putting Meg in there...I mean, I know I don’t have to thank you...but thank you.”

“Ashlyn...” Ali smiled warmly at her wife. “You’re welcome but you know better than that.”

After another few minutes Ali got up to clean up the kitchen after Ashlyn’s solo evening with the kids. They talked about the kids’ afternoons and what needed to be done for school the next day. They moved on to discussing their holiday plans and gift lists for the kids and then found themselves reminiscing about their favorite kid moments from the year that was fast coming to an end. They settled onto the couch in the festive family room to relax for an hour before going to bed. Logan curled up on the end of the couch and was snoring in a matter of minutes.

“Hands down my favorite story of the year with the kids is Lily peeing her pants at Mikey’s birthday party” Ashlyn laughed as she rubbed Logan’s neck with one hand and let Ali play with the fingers of her other hand as she held it in her lap. “I think that’s up there for best story ever.”

“You think it’s a lot funnier than I do because you weren’t the one there with her” Ali quirked an eyebrow but laughed too. “Oh my God...I still can’t believe it.”

Early that June, the twins’ classmate, and Dodge’s best friend, Mikey, had a birthday party at an outdoor obstacle course company that was becoming more and more popular. The biggest draw there was the overhead ropes course that went all the way around the grounds, roughly forming the perimeter of the area. There were ground level obstacle courses of different lengths and difficulties in the middle of this perimeter and anywhere from 50 to 100 kids could be running around the facility at any given time. The twins and most of the other 25 kids at the birthday party were 8 years old or just about to turn 8 years old. Some of the kids, like Dodge, were natural born daredevils who had no problem climbing and jumping over and crawling through the obstacles. Those kids didn’t even have a problem with strapping on the harness and doing the ropes course where you zip-lined or rope-walked from one perch to the next. Other kids were afraid of most of the activities onsite. Then most of the kids, like Lily, were somewhere in the middle. As a result, a handful of the moms ended up participating with the kids to make sure nobody got stuck anywhere. 

Ali knew she’d have no issues with Dodge, but she wasn’t sure how her daughter would feel about the ropes course. Lily had been talking about doing it for the past two weeks and looking forward to it. But once they got there and she saw how high up off the ground it was, she hesitated. The brunette saw the storm clouds gathering in her daughter’s eyes before Lily even realized how upset she was about it. The only way Lily agreed to do the ropes course was if her Mommy went with her. So Ali put helmets on both of them and got them each situated in the harnesses, helping Lily step through the two leg holes and clip it around her hips. By the time she and Lily had climbed up to the first platform she heard Dodge calling their names and waving from the ground below them. He had already completed the whole ropes course and he had started just ahead of them. It was typical for Dodge Krieger though, and Ali and Lily just waved back and smiled. There were 12 perches or platforms in the ropes course and you zip-lined to some and you walked across rope bridges to others. At the third platform, Lily drew her mother’s ire and it had nothing to do with being nervous about the ropes or the height.

“Mommy I have to pee.”

“Are you kidding me Lily?” Ali’s voice was a hushed reprimand. The girl’s lifelong habit of not going to the bathroom when she was asked to or when everybody else did had not improved. At all. “I told you to go before we put the harnesses on, didn’t I?”

“But I didn’t have to go then” the girl defended herself weakly, knowing full well that she did have to go then and should have gone then but just hadn’t felt like it. Even Dodge had gone at his mother’s urging. But not Lily.

“Well, you’ll just have to wait” Ali shrugged, exasperated. “There’s nothing we can do about it now.”

By the time they got to the 7th platform the girl’s need was obvious, even to more than frustrated Ali. Their particular trip on the ropes course was going slower than usual, of course, because a kid a few platforms ahead of them was having a tough time. Everybody had to wait and it was slow going.

“Mom-meee” Lily whined with a pained expression on her face. “I really really have to go.”

Ali felt terrible for her, nobody ever wanted to see their kids suffering, even if it was their own damned fault. She scanned the area, trying to find some sort of solution, but there just wasn’t one. The only way down was at the end, unless they called the whole thing to a halt and brought out the bucket truck ladder and security team to remove them from the course. But that seemed like it would take a lot more time than just sitting tight and finishing the ropes course. She explained the choice to her daughter, carefully going over each of the two options and the time she thought each would take.

“Do you think you can hold it a little longer honey?” Ali was squatting in front of the girl, trying to comfort and encourage her at the same time. “Or do you want me to have them come and get us down.”

“No, I...I...I can hold it I think...” she whimpered, her stutter coming back to drive home the point that she was indeed in distress. But Ali already knew she was telling the truth.

By the time they got to the 10th platform Lily was practically in tears but bravely trying to hold it together. What a difference a couple of years had made to her maturity level. She clung to Ali after reaching the platform and sobbed quietly into her chest. There were only 2 platforms left to go and things had started moving faster after the problematic kid had completed the course. Ali was confident her girl could do it.

But Lily was not. Her quiet tears didn’t stop.

“You know what honey?” Ali lifted her daughter’s face out of her midsection so they were looking at each other and she gave Lily a loving smile and a reassuring nod. “Just go. If you can’t hold it, just go.”

“But...where?” Lily looked startled at the new solution.

“Just pee in your pants” Ali shrugged. “If you can’t hold it anymore, then just go. Nobody will know but you and me.”

“But my shorts will be all wet...”

“I brought an extra change of clothes for both of you” Ali patted herself on the back for being overprepared as usual. The truth was she was sure Dodge would get filthy on the different courses that afternoon and she planned to make him change before heading home. Lugging and loading extra clothes into the minivan didn’t usually pay off, but it certainly would today. “It’s ok baby girl, just go.”

Back in the family room that night in December, Ashlyn was cackling at the memory. Ali was laughing too, but not nearly as much as the blonde.

“The best part was her telling you the harness was all wet when you went to turn them back in” Ashlyn howled with laughter again. “God, that’s the best story.”

“My favorite part is when we got home and she went and sat on your lap” Ali smirked and then laughed at her wife’s sudden quiet. It had been one of the funniest things all day when her germaphobe wife had realized the kid sitting on her lap had peed her pants.

“Her clothes were clean” Ashlyn countered, knowing her wife was just trying to get her goat. “I still love that story.”

“Well, one of my favorite Meg stories from this year was watching you realizing that Charlie was more than just her study buddy” The brunette’s face broke into a nose-crinkling grin. “That was priceless” she laughed. “You spent the whole time trying to figure out if they were actually dating...”

“I just wanted to know if study buddy Charlie had turned into fuck buddy Charlie” Ashlyn replied, her face stern as she flashed back to the day Meg had brought her friend from BC home, as she had done several times before, and made it fairly obvious that they were more than friends. There hadn’t been an announcement but they had been unable to keep their hands off of each other.

“You turned into the worst version of your father, mixed with my father, and both of our brothers...”

“I still don’t like him.”

“Oh come on babe” Ali chuckled. “He’s nice and polite and smart and he treats her like gold. They’re always laughing. I think he’s good for her, whether they’re just friends or more than that.”

“Yeah, too good to be true. That’s what that is. No 19-year old guy is that nice. Trust me.”

“Oh, so the gold-star lesbian is now an expert on dating college boys, is she?” Ali quirked her eyebrow playfully, enjoying the teasing almost as much as she had enjoyed the day they were remembering in the first place. Ashlyn ignored the comment.

“What kind of ridiculous name is Charlie Applegate anyway?” she fumed. “I mean, come on...he sounds like he’s from a fairy tale or a nursery rhyme or something. I don’t like him.”

“Well too bad for you because Meg seems to like him a lot. And you’d better get your head wrapped around the idea and not ruin it for her” the brunette cautioned seriously. She leaned over and kissed Ashlyn’s cheek, knowing she would never intentionally get in the way of any of their kids’ happiness. “Just keep an open mind, ok?”

It was quiet between them for a few minutes as the keeper calmed herself down and let the warmth and coziness of the room soothe her. She had her beautiful brunette on one side and sweet, snoring Logan on the other and there was no place else she’d rather be.

“Why can’t they stay little? Why can’t they just stay 10 forever?” Ashlyn sighed.

“Well, Meg at 10 was a lot different than Josie is at 10, that’s for sure” Ali chuckled. “That girl is gonna be the death of me. I’m so afraid of the next 6 years with her.”

“Yeah, she can be tough, especially on you” Ashlyn nodded. “She knows where all your buttons are and pushes them way faster than any of the other kids do.”

“Understatement of the year right there” Ali giggled and then groaned. “I’ll try and be better with her, I promise babe.”

“Jojo’s gonna challenge both of us, a lot. I think as long as we stick together we’ll be ok though, right?”

“Right” the brunette nodded. “Teamwork...”

“Makes the dream work” Ashlyn finished their oft-quoted phrase.

“Besides, when I get really mad at her I’ll just look at that sweet picture of you two at the Gardner and my heart will instantly be healed and fortified” the brunette grinned. 

“Yeah, I think that’s my favorite Josie story this year. That sketching trip to the Gardner. She was so sweet that day.”

One of the coldest days in March came early in the month. When Ashlyn and Josie stepped into the beautiful, fragrant courtyard of the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum it felt like a lush oasis compared to the harsh New England winter outside that refused to go away. Ali and Ashlyn had taken all of the kids to the Gardner over the years, but they didn’t go that often because none of the kids really appreciated it very much. Plus, it was always a nightmare worrying about what Dodge was going to break or Lily was going to unintentionally pocket. Both moms tried their best to spend time one on one with each child, but it wasn’t easy with the family’s busy schedules. They did their best and hoped it would be enough to nourish their bond and trust with each kid.

Ashlyn asked Josie to go to the Gardner with her for the afternoon so they could sketch together after walking around the museum. She knew the girl would go for it because she loved her one on one time with either mom whenever she could get it. What she didn’t anticipate was how much the little redhead would love sitting in the courtyard and sketching with her. They had spent a couple of hours that way and the keeper was blown away by the level of concentration and focus her daughter displayed. She was 9-1/2 and her sketch was pretty bad, but she never gave up. She kept trying to make it better. Ashlyn finally suggested she try using some colored pencils, knowing the girl loved to color, and Josie’s whole face lit up at the idea. She thought sketching had to be just pencil drawing and shading and it wasn’t her favorite. But she had agreed without complaint because she wanted to sketch like her Mama did. 

“Sketching can be with colors too?” her blue eyes were wide and full of wonder at the idea.

“It sure can. Art can be anything you want it to be. Just like you can draw or color whatever you want, it’s the same idea. There are no rules in art, remember? The only rule is to follow your heart and see what comes out on the canvas.”

“What’s canvas?”

“That’s what they call the paper you paint on” the keeper started to explain but was cut off by the bright girl.

“Oh yeah, the thing that goes on the...easel” she took a second to come up with the right words. 

“Yep, you got it.”

Ashlyn was amazed at how creative her daughter’s sketchbook got as soon as she began to use the colored pencils. It had never occurred to the keeper that Josie would try to emulate her own sketching so precisely. It was a recipe for failure and she chastised herself for not explaining it better to the girl before they started. Thankfully, Josie was a smart and quick study. She had a temper and could get frustrated with herself or those around her if things weren’t going well. But that day at the Gardner she was a sponge who soaked up everything Ashlyn told her and showed her. She was a little girl who loved to do things the right way and achieve excellent results. But she also loved the freedom that her coloring and artwork gave her. For her whole life she had heard, repeatedly and from both moms, that there were no rules in art. Both Ali and Ashlyn would have loved to say they knew that was the right angle to take with their driven little girl. But the truth was that they had just lucked out. Josie was so single-minded when she took on a task or an assignment that it seemed to those around her like she was headed for some kind of burnout. But all it took was a little bit of space, so her kid brother wasn’t crawling all over her, and some crayons and Josie was able to float freely away from any stresses in her young life.

At some point during their time in the courtyard that afternoon, Ashlyn and Josie were captured in a picture taken by another visitor to the museum. They both had their heads lifted up, and were slightly hunched over their sketch books, with looks of peaceful concentration on their faces. They were sitting side by side on a bench, both with their bodies turned to the side to see the courtyard they were drawing. The museum’s Instagram page re-posted many of the pictures it was tagged in and Ashlyn and Josie’s adorable picture was no exception. Ali followed the IG page and checked it almost every day. She was pretty sure she’d never seen a better picture of the two of them and quickly had it printed and framed and hung in the big old house.

“Is that your favorite picture of her, do you think?” Ashlyn asked her wife that night in the family room.

“Come on, you know better than that” the brunette poked her wife. “I’ve got about 100 favorite pictures of each one of them, just like you do.”

“Ow, alright, alright” the keeper laughed, knowing her wife was correct. “Why do you love that picture so much then? Can I ask that without getting attacked?”

“Attacked, please” Ali rolled her eyes but gave the blonde a soft kiss anyway. She thought for a minute before replying. “It’s hard to explain I guess. But...it’s my favorite person in my favorite place doing something that you love. That’s pretty great right there, all of that I mean. But then you add in my little girl, our special little one who almost didn’t make it to us in the first place...I don’t know, it just really gets me” she took a beat as Ashlyn hugged her tighter, neither one of them saying the frightening words that didn’t need to be spoken. “You both look so cute. I couldn’t have posed you better. I just love it so much.”

“It was a great day” Ashlyn smiled at the memory. “The only thing missing was you.”

“Aw, babe, you say the sweetest things” Ali shook her head and grinned up at her wonderful wife.

The keeper returned the grin and then pulled her in to a slow, romantic kiss that went on for a couple of minutes. They blinked at each other and enjoyed being close before kissing a bit more. Ashlyn was careful not to let her hand go anywhere near her wife’s new tattoo. She knew all too well about the pain and oozing and itching and flaking and discomfort that was coming Ali’s way over the next couple of weeks. They relaxed in each other’s arms for a little while, until another memory pushed its way through.

“Ooh, I’ve got a good one for Dodge” Ali giggled. “Although let’s be real, that kid is a walking highlight reel of stories” they both chuckled. “I think my favorite this year was at football, the game when he got his cup stuck...”

“Oh Jesus” Ashlyn laughed out loud, waking Logan up in the process. “Oh my God that was hysterical!”

At one of Dodge’s Sunday morning football games in October, he made an incredible tackle, bringing down the other team’s biggest player. The kid was gigantic and the other team used him as a bulldozer of a running back. Most of the teams they played didn’t have anybody big enough or strong enough or persistent enough to bring him down. But Dodge Krieger had done it. Dodge wasn’t very big, he was average sized for an 8-year old, but he was extremely strong. And he simply refused to give up. At anything. That was the key to making the tackle against the bulldozer kid. Dodge caught up to him easily and tried to tackle him around his middle like he did the other kids. But that didn’t work. The tenacious little Krieger let go of the bulldozer and tried again, the second time going for his legs. Dodge grabbed the bulldozer’s left thigh from behind, digging his heels into the ground in front of him and trying to use leverage and gravity to help bring him down. But the bulldozer didn’t go down. He slowed down because he had to drag Dodge with every single step. By the time a couple of Dodge’s teammates finally caught up with them they were able to get him down, before he crossed into the endzone. The four boys went down in a huge, ugly heap, rolling around and kicking up dirt and grass until they finally came to rest 15 yards after the extra help had arrived. A helmet and a cleat even flew off in the tangled scrum.

When it was all said and done, Dodge emerged from the dust pile with his helmet twisted almost 90 degrees to the side, his jersey practically torn in two, both socks down to his ankles, one of his thigh pads in his hand and blood running from both knees and one elbow. He was walking funny but didn’t seem to be limping. Instead of the joyful smile his moms expected to see on his face – that was a tackle custom made for Dodge Christopher Krieger if ever there had been – he looked...concerned. He didn’t look hurt and he wasn’t angry. He looked bothered. 

“Something’s not right” Ali said to her wife from the middle of the spectator stands. The whole Krieger clan was there that day and the stands were full of dozens of youth football families waiting for their child’s game or just finishing one. “He looks like he’s constipated – that’s his ‘I can’t poop’ face.”

Ashlyn agreed, recognizing the look on her son’s face as any mother would. Without thinking, the keeper jogged down the steps to the short chainlink fence that separated the stands from the field. The assistant coach tried to help Dodge as he made his way off the field and towards the bench but the boy had seen his Mama and made a beeline for her, walking awkwardly the whole way.

What happened next would have destroyed many a young boy, but Dodge simply laughed it off afterwards. It helped that he was one of the best players on the team and had gone right back into the game on offense and scored a touchdown, running through the whole team and breaking about 4 different tackles along the way. But even if that hadn’t happened, Dodge still would have had the confidence to laugh at himself and move past the incident. It was one of his greatest gifts. 

Ali would never forget the scene and it made her love both Ashlyn and Dodge more than ever – which was really saying something. She watched as her wife bent over the fence to talk to their son who had removed his helmet and dropped his thigh pad once he stopped in front of her. They conferred for a moment and then both looked down. Dodge reached into the front of his uniform pants and fished around in there for several seconds, as some people in the stands chuckled. The boy had his whole arm in there, up to his elbow, but still no luck doing whatever it was that they were doing. Ashlyn tried to reach but the fence was in the way so she just hopped right up and over it, clearing it in two swift moves. Once she could squat down in front of her son she was able to reach into the front of his pants, his legs spread wide and bent a bit at the knees. If Ali hadn’t been so concerned about what was happening she would have been laughing like everybody else was. It looked like an old-time comedy routine or something.

Finally, Ashlyn pulled her hand back out with so much force that she fell back on her butt. But she was victorious, and in her hand was Dodge’s cup. The boy smiled instantly at the relief he felt after having the hard plastic protective cup shoved back between his legs and almost into the back of his uniform pants. None of his private parts had been injured, miraculously, but it had been remarkably uncomfortable. He laughed at Ashlyn landing on her butt and then bent over to grab his thigh pad and shove it back into place. He took his cup from his mother’s hand and put it back where it belonged while Ashlyn pulled both his socks back up into place. She got up as he put his helmet back on and they shared a spirited high-five as the crowd applauded. Dodge ran back to the coaches who were eager to get him into the game again, and the keeper patted his butt as he went. 

“Oh God that was funny” Ali wiped tears of laughter from her eyes as they both kept giggling. “I was terrified he’d be known forever as ‘Cup Boy’ or something just as horrible. Thank God he scored a touchdown on the next series. Whew.”

“YOU were terrified?! I was sure I was traumatizing him for life or something” Ashlyn added through her own laughter. “I could just see the headlines...’overzealous mom goes too far on the football field, story at 11’.”

“I think the coaches would have figured it out eventually, right?”

“Probably, but one of them came over to me after the game and thanked me. They knew I did them a favor.”

“Definitely one of Dodge’s best moments this year” Ali nodded and tried to catch her breath from all the laughing. “He’s so incredible” she shook her head in awe at the little whirlwind their youngest son was. “Thank God we only have one of him though.”

“Oh man, can you imagine if that had been Drew?” Ashlyn’s eyes went wide. 

“No, thank God” Ali shook her head. “Could our boys be any more different?”

“Maybe, but probably not” Ashlyn chuckled. “Drew may be shy but he has skills in other areas.”

“I’m not sure video games will get him all the way through the rest of his life” the brunette teased with a small groan as she rested her head against her wife’s shoulder.

“He’ll be ok” the keeper put her arm around her wife’s shoulders and squeezed her gently. “He’s a good kid. He’ll figure everything out, when he’s ready.”

“You’re right. I know you’re right” Ali sighed. “I hope you’re right.”

They were quiet again, both trying not to worry about their enigmatic boy.

“My favorite Drew story this year was way back in February” the blonde continued quietly, with a tender smile on her face. “His first date.”

“Awww...me too” Ali agreed with her own soft smile. “I still can’t believe he’s old enough to be dating. Ugh. Stop the ride, I wanna get off.”

“Well it’s barely dating” Ashlyn chuckled. “But yeah, me too.”

Drew Krieger had started his first year in middle school 15 months ago and the 6th grader had followed what most of his classmates and friends did by getting a girlfriend. Jocelyn was his first girlfriend and they dated until the end of 6th grade. Most times they hung out at each other’s house after school or went to the movies with a bunch of other friends. Every once in a while they went on actual dates where it was just the two of them going to a movie or the mall or the arcade. It took Drew until February, 5 months after they began dating, to ask Jocelyn to go to the movies with just him but she had said yes. Ali helped her oldest son get ready for his first date back at the big old house and it was a memory she would never forget. It took every ounce of willpower she had but she had kept herself from crying as she helped him pick out the clothes he wore and advised him on his hair for the afternoon. They were 11 years old, they went to a Sunday afternoon movie.

“He was so nervous but so excited” Ali grinned. “I kept thinking he would chicken out, but he never did.”

“You know how in the Grinch they show him finally understanding the beauty of Christmas and his heart grows three sizes?” Ashlyn asked making her wife frown in confusion at the seeming non sequitur.

“Ummm...yeah?”

“That’s how I felt that day when I watched you help Drew with his hair. But it wasn’t about the hair...” she spoke quickly, eager to get to the point. “It was what you said to him.”

Ashlyn had gone up to check on Drew after Jocelyn and her father had pulled up the driveway to pick him up for the drive to the movie theater. Ali or Ashlyn would pick the young couple up afterwards and drive Jocelyn home. The keeper was about to yell down the second-floor hall for her son to get his butt moving once she reached the top of the stairs, but she heard her wife’s steady voice coming from the girls’ bathroom and peeked around the doorframe to catch the touching moment.

“You don’t have to be nervous” Ali was standing behind Drew and working her magic on the stubborn cowlick at the crown of his head. Drew watched her in the mirror with anxious eyes. “It’s just Jocelyn and you and you’re just going to the movies like you do with your other friends...”

“But without our friends though.”

“Listen,” she finished with the cowlick and put her hands on his shoulders as they both looked into the mirror. “Do you want to know the secret to talking to your date?” Drew nodded and looked so adorable that the brunette couldn’t help but smile even though she was really nervous for him. “You need to listen to what they’re saying. That’s the trick.” Drew gave her a confused look in the mirror. “No, I mean really listen to their words, not just listen until you hear them stop talking so you can take your turn. If you listen to them then you can just keep talking about whatever they talk about. It’s pretty simple.”

Drew’s face stayed scrunched up in confusion for a few seconds and then gradually relaxed into a pretty big smile for a nervous kid about to go on his first real date. He met Ali’s grin in the mirror and turned around and hugged her tightly.

“What if I get...shy? What if I can’t talk or, or what if she thinks I’m dumb?” he asked, voice small and unsure.

“Hey, listen to me now” Ali squeezed him and tried to keep her voice calm and normal, even though her heart was breaking for her timid boy. “This might be too hard for you to understand right now but I’m going to say it anyway. You don’t need to impress anybody Drew. That’s not how it really works. If you’re with the right person then they’ll like you for you, just the way you are. You won’t have to pretend to be something or somebody you’re not. The person who is right for you will think it’s adorable when you get shy and think you’re sweet when you can’t find your words right away. Believe me honey, I promise that’s the truth.”

“But what if Jocelyn’s not the right person for me?” he paused, still hugging his mother and enjoying her squeeze in return. “What if she thinks I’m an idiot or something?”

“Well, then you keep going on dates with different people until you find the right person” Ali shrugged and slid her hand up and down her son’s back. “There’s no time limit or rush on anything. I didn’t find Mama until I was all grown up and 30 years old.”

“That’s so old” Drew gave her a shocked face, knowing he could get a rise out of both his mothers that way.

“Ha ha, yeah I’m old, good one” Ali rolled her eyes and was glad to hear her son giggling. “Can I tell you one last thing?” she paused until he pulled back from the hug and nodded up at her. She took a deep breath and smiled at her boy again. “Anybody that thinks you’re an idiot isn’t worth your time buddy. You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you for all the great things you are. And anytime you’re with your girlfriend or even just your friends, whoever it is, anytime you’re with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself you just come home. You call or text us and we’ll come get you and bring you home. Because around here, we know how awesome you are and we love you just the way you are because you’re a really great kid. Ok? Can you do that for me? Just come home and be around your family – the people who know you and love you the best, ok? We’ll remind you of why you’re great. Then you can go back out and try again with somebody else.”

Both Ali and Drew had gotten emotional as the brunette gave her son the pep talk, as had Ashlyn in the doorway. Drew dropped his eyes, embarrassed by everything his mom had just said, but appreciating it too. When he looked up again a few seconds later he smiled at Ali and she felt it deep inside her heart.

“Thanks mom.”

“Stop” Ali whined into Ashlyn’s chest back on the family room couch. “You’re breaking my heart all over again.”

“Jocelyn wasn’t good enough for him” the keeper shook her head slowly. “I like Erin a lot more.”

“You never liked Jocelyn and it wasn’t her fault” the brunette challenged her wife with another poke. “She was unlucky enough to be Drew’s first girlfriend and you never forgave her for that.”

“Maybe so, but I was right about her not appreciating him. I’d still like to know who did the breaking up with back in May.”

“Let it go, geez you’re gonna get an ulcer before any of the kids even gets to their junior prom” Ali giggled.

“I still wish I recorded what you said to him that afternoon in the bathroom. He’s gonna need to hear it all again, probably more than once, and it was perfect. He understood most of it too, I could see it on his face.”

“I want all of our kids to feel safe and supported and loved and seen here at home. I want them to feel empowered and charged up to go out and do whatever it is that they’re going to do with their lives. That’s all I want. Is that too much to ask?”

Ashlyn was moved again by the earnestness in her wife’s voice and the passion filling her face. The keeper would never be able to fully describe the way Ali loved their kids. There was a depth and breadth and fierceness to it that Ashlyn had never known before. She had certainly never felt that from her own mother. There were even times when the keeper wondered if she loved her kids enough when comparing it to the brunette’s vast magnitude of motherly love. It wasn’t a competition and Ashlyn knew that. She would sacrifice anything for the kids too, just the same way Ali would. But, as with most things, the two of them came to the situation from different perspectives. At their extremes, Ali’s love was focused and so intense that sometimes it felt as though it might inflict harm. It was like a laser beam cutting through all matter in its path. Ashlyn’s love was more fluid and placid, like a deep lake that could have incredible turbulence in its depths but appear easy and calm on the surface. There was no questioning that both moms loved their children immensely and would do anything to protect them and provide them a positive and happy life. The keeper would be forever grateful that she had the best co-parent she could ever dream up, right by her side through it all. Their kids were damned lucky. She smiled softly at her beautiful brunette.

“Nope. Not at all honey” Ashlyn kissed her wife’s head. “That sounds about right to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more to go after this and I hope to have it up this week. I'm trying to re-work it and I can't tell you why until I post it.  
> Thanks for being patient with me as I wrap this one up. <3
> 
> Also, the ropes course story is a true story that was told to me while my niece was sitting on my lap once they were back home from the party. lol


	38. Deeper and Fuller

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the last chapter of this installment. Sorry for the slight delay this week - read the after chapter notes for the explanation if you'd like.  
> There's a teeny tiny smut warning....more of an afterglow warning I guess. Don't get your hopes up though.  
> As always, thank you for reading along with this story. I appreciate you more than I can say. <3  
> Part 13 has already been plotted out, for the most part, and I'll start writing it soon. As soon as it's ready I'll begin posting again but I don't have a timeframe for it yet. Thanks for your patience.  
> Hope you enjoy this last chapter. It was a tough year for our gals but they made it through, together.
> 
> ********** Almost forgot! I'll be going to the Orlando Pride game in Orlando on Saturday August 17th if anybody is in the area and wants to meet up for a drink or whatever (doesn't matter what the drink is, as long as it's in air conditioning, lol). I'll be there a couple of days before the game too. I was lucky enough to meet a couple of readers there last year and it was really fun. I'm meeting two readers again for the August 17th game. Woo hoo hoo!!! I've met a couple of you who have visited Boston as well and that's been awesome too. I love talking women's soccer with other fans and if you also happen to adore A/A then it's a bonus. ha ha ha Seriously, though - I'd love to meet you guys. So hit me up. Leave me a comment in here or on the Tumblr blog. Here's my email address again: ljol2@hotmail.com

“It’s nice to see you both, please make yourselves comfortable” Dr. Cassidy Emerson welcomed Ali and Ashlyn to her office Tuesday of the following week. “Are you all ready for the holidays? I loved the Christmas card, thank you.”

“We’re getting there” Ali smiled at the therapist as she sat down on the couch next to her keeper.

“You have no idea how many takes that card took” Ashlyn chuckled and rolled her eyes as she reached over to hold her wife’s hand in her lap. “And they’re still not all looking at the camera.”

“Yeah, we’ve given up on that. Nowadays we’re just happy if nobody’s making an awful face or poking anybody else” the brunette laughed.

“Yep, it’s a win if only one kid has their eyes closed” Ashlyn sighed but had a big smile on her face. “It’s my favorite card ever though” she glanced at Ali who returned her smile and squeezed her hand. “Well, last year’s too really” the keeper clarified.

“Meg’s finally in the picture, really in the picture” Ali explained.

The Krieger family Christmas card had been an evolving thing over the years. When Meg was younger and the little kids were really little, Ashlyn asked Meg if she wanted to be part of the annual Christmas card. The little redhead said no and that was that for a few years. None of the young redhead’s moms wanted to force her into anything. But once Meg and Ashlyn had the conversation about what to call each other and defined their family relationships even further, the keeper had insisted on including Meg’s picture in the card as well. Ali thought it was a wonderful idea and was happy to re-work the concept of the card from one big family picture, including Ali and Ashlyn and the dogs, to just the 5 kids and the dogs. There were 5 individual pictures, one for each kid, and then a big group shot of the four youngest kids with the dogs. The only way Meg agreed to it was if they kept that big group shot in the middle of the card, even though she wasn’t in it. She was a sensitive 5th grader at the time and she didn’t want to make a big deal out of anything. Meg’s first suggestion had been to just keep the one big family photo picture and add her small school picture in one of the corners. She was happy to be included, very happy, but she didn’t want to upset the apple cart. But once she had moved to Boston for college last year, Ashlyn could finally get all 5 kids into the group shot and she had been elated. This year was the second time and it still made her excited every time she saw their family Christmas card.

“Ah” Dr. Emerson nodded, having never seen the previous cards without Meg. “A momentous occasion for sure.”

The three women spent the rest of the hour reviewing the turbulent year the couple had gone through. Dr. Emerson, much like Dr. Mattie Olsen before her, believed in acknowledging the past so her patients could learn from it as they moved forward. The trick was not to dwell on anything or pick at scabs that were already well on their way to fully healing. It was a lot harder to do than it sounded. 

“Well it’s obvious you’ve both done a lot of soul-searching and listening and talking this year and you should be very proud of the hard work you’ve put in” Dr. Emerson started to wrap things up at the end of the hour.

“And learning” Ashlyn added solemnly, still holding her wife’s hand. “We did a lot of learning too.”

“Yes, we did” Ali turned to her keeper and nodded. “I know I’m going to screw up again, but I’m going to try really hard not to.”

“Me too” Ashlyn faced the brunette and gave her a small but heartfelt smile. 

“It’s not a new lesson for either of you, I know” the therapist gave her own warm smile when the two women returned their attention to her. “But communication is the key. It’s something that I know you’re typically very good at but, as you experienced first hand this year, it’s easy to forget when life starts throwing you curve balls now and then.”

Both Ashlyn and Ali rolled their eyes and let out wary chuckles.

“Thank you to the Universe for reminding us” Ali spoke sardonically.

“Yeah, thanks for that” the keeper looked up to the ceiling. “We’ll be in to see the Doc weekly if we have another year like this one” she added with a laughing groan that barely disguised her bitterness towards the unyielding universe that had made her life so hard.

“I’m sure it must seem like you were ganged-up on this year” Cassidy gave them both a sympathetic tilt of her head. “My best advice is to try and make time for each other. I would argue that the universe hasn’t decided to target you any more than usual – you just weren’t ready to handle it this time. That’s all.”

“Oh is that all?” Ali rolled her eyes, chagrinned, knowing the therapist was right.

“I know you two understand how this all works” Dr. Emerson continued to try and encourage the couple who seemed a bit gun-shy, and with good reason. “Being married is a lot of work and being a mom is a lot of work and you guys have full plates – I understand” she leaned forward beseechingly. “I’m not criticizing you or trying to imply that you didn’t try hard enough...I’m just reminding you of what will make a big difference for you going forward. That’s all I’m trying to do.”

“We know” Ashlyn gave the therapist a sincere smile. “We don’t mean...I don’t mean to sound difficult” she sighed heavily. “It just always sounds so much easier when we’re sitting in here.”

“We know you’re just doing your job” Ali added with her own contrite smile. “The job we asked you to do, no less” she laughed softly as did Ashlyn and the therapist. “This year was just brutal and I’m feeling kind of beat up, I guess.”

“That’s perfectly understandable” Dr. Emerson smiled kindly at both women sitting across from her. “You guys are doing a great job, on all of it. You had some bumps in the road this year, but you navigated them. You’re here, holding hands and promising to keep working hard for each other. There’s nothing more I could ever ask of you.”

//

One night later, after the kids were asleep, Ali and Ashlyn connected in their favorite way. It hadn’t been planned and they were both tired from hectic and stressful holiday tasks and deadlines. But when the keeper came up the backstairs to get ready for bed, she found her wife stepping into the shower to wash her still-healing tattoo. The combination of Ali’s naked body, the water, and the tantalizing new ink was a force Ashlyn was wholly unable to resist.

“Here, let me help you” she offered as innocently as possible. “Can I?”

The hopefulness and reverence Ali found in her wife’s eyes left her no choice but to agree, even though her exhausted brain was advising her otherwise.

“Yeah, but I’m not getting my hair wet. I’m too tired to dry it...”

“Got it, just the tattoo, I promise.”

Ashlyn stripped quickly and stepped into the warm shower trying to keep her focus solely on the black ink above the side of her wife’s left hip. It was exactly one week since Ali had come home with the new tattoo and it had begun the flaking and peeling stage in the healing process two days ago. Ali was a fast healer, somehow correlating to the fact that she didn’t get sick very often, so the process had been moving right along. Of course, the brunette had been taking very good care of her tree, and allowing her eager wife to assist whenever she could. Just as she loved helping Ashlyn with her new tattoos, Ali knew her keeper wanted to do the same for her. 

“It’s looking really good” Ashlyn offered as she squatted down to get a better look at the tree. “Is it really itchy yet?”

“Yeah, pretty itchy” Ali nodded as she watched her love tend to her body, appreciating how gentle Ashlyn’s big hands could be whenever necessary. “It’s definitely healing up good. I’m glad” she said the last bit through a yawn and leaned her right side against the rear tiled wall of the shower.

Ali wasn’t trying to rush her wife, she was enjoying the hot water and the tender touches from her keeper, but the inadvertent yawn told Ashlyn to hurry up.

“Almost done baby” the blonde finished gently scrubbing the tattoo with the fragrance-free soap she used for all of her own new tattoos. The trick was to be thorough but delicate, so you didn’t hurt the skin and damage the tattoo. Clean, bare hands was the recommended cleaning method of almost every tattoo artist who was any good, and Ashlyn had put hers to excellent use. “There, now to rinse...” she stood up, cupped her hands and collected water from the shower that she then poured carefully onto Ali’s side. It took four cupped handfuls before she was satisfied that all of the soap was gone. “Ok, all done” she reported, leaning in to kiss Ali’s left shoulder and pat her butt at the same time.

There wasn’t anything overtly sexual about either touch, but Ali had been mesmerized, as usual, by her keeper’s sensitive attention. Ashlyn was still the most considerate, most thoughtful, kindest human being the brunette had ever known. And those qualities were never on better display than when she was taking care of her beloved wife or children. That kind of intimate ministration, coupled with the nakedness of Ashlyn’s beautiful body, had made Ali’s head spin. They had only been in the shower together for 15 minutes but the brunette felt overwhelmed by want as the keeper shut the water off and stepped out onto the thick rug on the tiled floor.

“Thanks babe...” she started to reach for the blonde even though she didn’t really need any help leaving the shower.

“Here, let’s get you dried off first so you don’t get cold” Ashlyn took a big bath towel and dried the rest of Ali’s body off, taking care not to turn the activity into anything naughty. It was painfully difficult but the keeper promised herself not to do anything other than help her wife take care of her tattoo. “Ok, paper towel for the most beautiful tree in the entire world...” she spoke sweetly as she ripped a couple of sheets off the paper towel roll Ali had brought upstairs last week just for this very purpose. “There. All done” Ashlyn stepped back and, after one last look at the tree, lifted her eyes to meet her wife’s amber ones. “What?” she asked innocently. There was a look in her wife’s eye that she couldn’t quite interpret.

“Nothing...thank you...” Ali said sweetly as she grabbed another bath towel and began to dry Ashlyn off.

“You’re welcome” the keeper blinked softly at her wife. “I can do this” she tried to reach for the towel the brunette was using on her, “you should get the moisturizer on that...”

“Or I can help you with this and YOU can moisturize for me...”

Now the look made sense to the keeper. Ali was tired but apparently had gotten a bit of a second wind and was definitely going the sexy route now.

“Hey, we don’t have to do anything. I know you’re tired, I am too. I promise, I just meant to help with your tattoo...”

Ali bit her bottom lip and gave her wife a sultry look as she worked the towel over her lanky body. Part of her brain heard Ashlyn say she was tired too but the rest of her brain, as well as her entire body, chose to interpret the comment in the selfless way in which it had been intended. She knew how turned on she got when she helped Ashlyn with her tattoos, and was assuming the keeper was in the same state of mind right now. But, just in case, she needed to make sure.

“If you’re too tired that’s ok Ash, but...” she let her fingertips find the blonde’s bare skin and dragged them up her sides, ending with the backs of her fingers gently caressing the sides of both breasts. All she wanted to do in that instant was take a pretty pink nipple into her mouth and suck on it. “I’m not. Not anymore...”

The moisturizing turned into foreplay which led to better than expected orgasms for both of them. Ashlyn did her best not to make Ali sweat too much so they wouldn’t have to start all over again with cleaning the tattoo, but it was close. It wasn’t wild and crazy sex. It was plain old good sex that didn’t take very long because they were both raring to go after all the sensual touching and moisturizing. They were both happy and satisfied after round 1 and trying to decide about how prudent it would be to try round 2.

“Mmmm...I love you” Ali hummed from her favorite spot, resting her head on her wife’s thigh with her gorgeous pussy right in front of her face. She let her hand lightly scratch through Ashlyn’s short hairs while they both caught their breath and enjoyed the afterglow. “You taste so good. I feel sorry for everybody else who doesn’t get to enjoy this” she leaned forward and licked up through the blonde’s sensitive folds, making her squeal and squirm.

“Hey now...easy...” Ashlyn reached down and fondled the top of her wife’s brunette head, leaving her hand there once Ali went back to resting it on the blonde’s thigh.

“Can’t help it” Ali shrugged impudently and then giggled.

“You know, I didn’t get in the shower to try and seduce you...” Ashlyn offered a few minutes later.

“I know you didn’t. But that’s always what happens” Ali shrugged again. “You’re so sweet and thoughtful and it just drives me fucking crazy” she giggled. “I have absolutely no control over it.”

“Oh, so I’m irresistible, is that it?” the keeper quipped.

“Always have been” Ali laughed back at her. “Pretty sure you always will be.”

They talked for a few minutes, still trying to decide what to do next. Finally, Ali propped herself up on her elbow, still down between her wife’s legs.

“Can I try something on you?”

“On me?” Ashlyn quirked her eyebrow, amused as hell at her adorable and sexy as fuck wife.

“Yeah, but don’t tease me about it” she replied shyly. “Promise?”

The keeper could see that Ali felt insecure about whatever she had in mind. There was no way she would ever discourage exploration and experimentation with the brunette. Especially not when it was she who initiated it.

“I promise.”

The keeper sat up against the headboard and watched her wife go to her closet to retrieve some purple satin ribbons, long ones that were rolled up like ace bandages. There were two different rolls, one with a 2-1/2” wide ribbon and the other a 5” wide ribbon, and Ali placed them gently on Ashlyn’s stomach as she climbed on top of her, straddling her thighs.

“Can I wrap you up?”

The juxtaposition of eager innocence and carnal desire on Ali’s face sent shockwaves through Ashlyn’s system. They hadn’t really done a lot of bondage beyond tying each other’s arms and legs to the bed every once in a while. Neither of them was into pain or torture or even too much dominance and submission play. They both got turned on when the other behaved dominantly and took charge, but the key to that was that it wasn’t all the time. It was a nice change-up when it happened, for both of them. They were still impatient when it came to taking a lot of time and making the other suffer the exquisite agony of delayed gratification or even edging. Although when they had the luxury of time they did both enjoying teasing the other and driving them a little crazy by delaying their orgasm a bit. But, in general, Ali and Ashlyn liked to get each other off and enjoyed doing so with their bodies and some sex toys added in to spice things up. 

“You wanna tie me up with these?” Ashlyn had a hard time hiding how turned on she was by the idea of her wife trying something they’d done before but with a new twist.

“No...I wanna wrap you up...but we don’t have to...” she hesitated.

The truth was, Ali had been thinking about wrapping her wife up for a while. The idea of Ashlyn’s gorgeous body wrapped in beautiful, soft ribbons like the gift that it was...well it got the brunette all sorts of excited.

“No, no... I mean, yes, yes, yes” the keeper clarified, not wanting her wife to move away. Ashlyn reached forward to rub Ali’s left thigh and squeeze her right hip, keeping her in place. “Let’s do it” she nodded eagerly. “Where do you want me? Maybe I should pee first...”

90 minutes later, Ali crept into the master bedroom from the second-floor hallway, clutching her robe around her naked body as the cold 1:00am air tried to reach her. She locked the bedroom door behind her, always optimistic, but saw after a few more steps into the room that she hadn’t needed to secure the room any more that night. She paused for a brief second at the foot of the bed and admired her beautiful wife. Her sweet keeper who had always been so willing to go at Ali’s pace, no matter what the topic had been. Ashlyn was lying, half-propped up against the headboard, in the middle of the bed, just as the brunette had left her almost 50 minutes earlier. She had her arms tied up to the headboard above her head, bound at the wrists by the red satin restraints they always used. The 2-1/2” purple ribbon was wound around her breasts, above and below, and looped and twisted to keep the smooth fabric in place. The 5” purple ribbon was partially secured around her waist and hips, crossing and twisting with each other just above her mound. There was a long length of ribbon between her legs, coming up the front from beneath her, but it wasn’t secured to anything. The remaining length lay tossed across the keeper’s thigh where Ali had hastily left it when she had to leave the room to go take care of one of the kids. 

Ashlyn’s head with her shaggy blonde hair was drooped forward and to her right, away from the light coming from Ali’s nightstand lamp. She was fast asleep. The brunette moved quickly, crawling onto the bed to untie her sweet, patient, hopefully forgiving, wife.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart” she whispered as she lifted the keeper’s left arm higher to slacken the wrist restraint and free the limb. She rubbed it gently as she lowered it down by Ashlyn’s side.

“What? Ow...” the blonde woke up, dazed, and then groaned at the tingly pain coming from her dead-asleep left arm. “What happened?” she frowned in confusion as she tried to wake all the way up.

“You fell asleep” Ali replied softly, reaching up to repeat the process with her wife’s right arm. “I’m so sorry honey. I was gone a long time...Drew’s stomach was bothering him and then he got upset about it which only made his stomach worse...”

“Ow, shit that hurts” she complained as the brunette tried to rub the life and blood back into her arms for her. It took her a minute to remember what was going on. “Oh, yeah...” Ashlyn’s face tried to smirk but was too busy wincing from the intense pins and needles screaming at her from both arms.

“Oh Ash, I’m so so so sorry...” Ali was practically in tears from guilt and worry and regret. “Are you ok?”

Ashlyn could see how anxious the brunette was, even through her still sleepy fog. Yes, her arms felt like they were being devoured by fire ants and her neck was killing her, but she didn’t want to have their night end like that. She didn’t want to give Ali a reason to not try something new again.

“I’m fine baby, it’s ok” she smiled as best she could and hoped it might be enough.

“Really? Are you sure?” Ali kept rubbing her arms and hands and fingers. The rest of the wraps were mostly just decorative and didn’t cause any pain or discomfort at all so she wasn’t worried about them. “I’m so sorry...”

“Al, it’s ok...I’m ok” she tried again to reassure her worried wife. Their eyes finally met and Ashlyn winked at her. “I’d hug you if I could only move my arms.”

She held her breath as she waited a very long few seconds to see how the joke landed with her wife. Finally Ali grinned and rolled her eyes.

“Really? Joking about it before you can even feel your arms?” she chuckled and shook her head as she began to undo the ribbons around Ashlyn’s crotch and waist. “I don’t know about you sometimes” she laughed again.

“Me? I’m not the one who tied her wife up and left her to die...or worse, be discovered by who knows who...” the keeper teased some more.

“It’s not funny” Ali sat up and gave her wife a serious look. “I’m not supposed to do that, ever. And just for that reason.”

In that moment Ashlyn realized that her wife had done some research on bondage and felt her heart swell in appreciation and admiration.

“I know baby. I know” the keeper, finally able to use her left arm a bit, reached out and touched Ali’s closest thigh as the brunette knelt next to her hip, working on the purple ribbons. “Rookie mistake. It won’t happen again. I know.”

“I’m so...” 

“Don’t say it anymore. It’s ok. I’m fine, really. I swear” they shared a meaningful look and then a couple of blinks and soft smiles. Ashlyn saw her wife’s shoulders relax just a bit and knew the message was getting through. “And please don’t think this was a bad idea because of one mistake. I really liked this. A lot” she wagged her eyebrows. “As a matter of fact...” she rocked her hips up and reached for Ali’s ass next to her.

“Are you out of your mind?” the brunette laughed, throwing her head back and releasing some of the tension she had created for herself. “That’s enough for tonight Allstar. We can try it again some other time. Maybe a night with no kids...”

“Oooh, I like the way you’re thinking woman!”

“Ok, ok. Calm down...” Ali giggled and leaned down to give her wife a kiss. It turned deeper once Ashlyn pulled her down and wrapped her tingly arms around her. 

It took a few more minutes to get the keeper untied and then they both put their pajamas on, used the bathroom, and got into bed for good. It was 1:30am by the time they turned the light off and snuggled together.

“Did you really like it?” Ali asked tentatively. “Or were you just saying that so I wouldn’t freak out and never try to use those ribbons again?”

Ashlyn raised her eyebrows, surprised that her wife could see through her so easily after 15 years. She was glad it was dark and Ali couldn’t actually see her reaction. No need to confirm the suspicions, however true or harmless they were. The keeper had loved the ribbons but wasn't ready to admit to occasionally massaging the truth over the years, especially the earliest years, to save her wife's feelings.

“I really liked it. Honestly. I thought it was sexy as hell.”

“Really?”

“Al, we have a deal about our sex right? Always be honest.”

“I know but, you’re so sweet to me that I’m afraid you’d do this even if you didn’t like it.”

“I promise you. If I didn’t like it I would tell you. Same with you, right?”

“Well, you already know what I don’t like” the brunette chuckled.

“Yeah, but someday, in 10 years or whatever, if I wanna try something different I won’t be able to unless I know you’ll be honest with me about it. Sacred oath of honesty. No exceptions...”

“Absolutely. I swear. Sacred oath of honesty. Ask me and I’ll tell you. That’s how it’s always worked for us.”

“Alright then. Can we please go to sleep now?”

“Yes my love. Sweet dreams” Ali pressed a warm kiss into her wife’s shoulder as she cuddled into her side.

“Oh I’m gonna have sweet dreams alright...full of purple ribbons and my sexy wife...”

//

Friday, December 12th, 2031 would go down in the history books as one of the warmer ones Gloucester had seen in a long time. It wasn’t a balmy 50 degrees or anything, but it wasn’t a frigid arctic icebox either. It would turn out to be bright and sunny with not too much wind to add extra chill to the 42 degree high for the day. Sometimes December in New England could be more temperate than people realized. The real freezing cold temperatures and gloomy weather usually held off until January. That’s why it was pretty rare to have a white Christmas, even in New England. Some weather forecaster on one of the local stations always did the calculations for the odds of more than an inch of snow on either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, and they were always astronomical. There had only been 7 times in the past 125 years when it snowed at Christmas. Nobody held their breath for it anymore, but it was charming as hell when it did happen. Even the most curmudgeonly New Englander appreciated a white Chrimstmas.

Ali groaned when her alarm went off early, at 5:15am. She hated herself for a few seconds and considered staying in bed until 6am like she usually did. But then she got excited at the thought of her surprise for Ashlyn that morning and hopped out of bed. She moved as quietly as she could up to the third floor and into Ashlyn’s studio, carefully closing the door behind her. It was important not to drop anything or make too much noise or she might wake up Josie sleeping directly below her. Ali did everything slower than she wanted to that morning because both she and Ashlyn were still overtired from their late night sexcapades Wednesday night. They weren’t 30 anymore and staying up until 1:30am was soul-crushing the next day, and sometimes the next two days. The brunette was thankful that she had stayed up a little later last night to do some prep work that would definitely make this morning go a bit faster. She was still exhausted though.

At 6am she went back to the master bathroom and got into the shower, starting her regular morning routine. She would need to shave 15 minutes off of it though so she could wake up her wife and hopefully get her upstairs before Dodge joined her in their big bed. It had proven hard to try and plan a grand gesture in the middle of the morning chaos at the big old house, but the brunette was determined to at least attempt it.

“Babe...I need you to wake up now...” Ali cooed behind her wife’s form, sound asleep and lying on her left side in their bed. “Ashlyn...”

The brunette stood next to her wife’s side of the bed, gently rubbed the keeper’s back, and then leaned over and kissed her cheek softly. She left her lips close to Ashlyn’s skin and hummed into another kiss as she tried to rouse her from her slumber.

“What time is it?” the blonde grumbled without moving a muscle. 

“It’s just after 6:30am...”

“Half hour...I’ve got a half hour...” came the sleepy reply. “At least 20 minutes still.”

“I’ve got a surprise for you and I want us both to be out of this room before Dodge comes in...”

That got Ashlyn’s attention. She rolled her shoulders over so the top half of her body was flat on her back and squinted one eye open.

“What kind of surprise?” her raspy morning voice croaked out after a yawn.

“You’ll see” Ali gave her a quick kiss on the lips and giggled. “Come on, we don’t have much time.”

It was a true testament to how much she loved Ali for Ashlyn to get her ass out of that nice warm bed early that morning. She was just as overtired as the brunette had been, and Ashlyn had never been a morning person. When she shuffled to the second-floor hallway after brushing her teeth, using the bathroom and throwing sweats on, the keeper could hear her wife telling Dodge to go downstairs and watch cartoons until she and Mama came downstairs for breakfast. Ali had already gone to the trouble of turning the tv on in the front living room, and setting out the kids’ bowls and the cereal and even the kid-size milk jug so they could get their own breakfast started if they wanted. She knew there would be a much bigger mess afterwards but too bad. She would deal with it later.

“If this is some kind of kinky new thing you wanna try...” Ashlyn joked through another yawn as they got to the third-floor, hand-in-hand, with Ali gently pulling her along.

“Shush...” the brunette blushed but secretly loved how excited her wife had been about the new purple ribbons the other night. “Keep your voice down. God” Ali rolled her eyes and then chuckled as they got to the studio door. 

It was 6:55am and they should be waking the kids up for their Friday morning routine, but that would have to wait. There was something more important that morning. Something that needed to be tended to if everything else was going to stay on course. The Mary Sarah had entered stormy seas that year and even with the strong siren’s call it had been difficult to steer through them. Hurricane Emily had swallowed the sturdy vessel two years ago, in 2029, and Ashlyn and Ali had been struggling to keep her afloat ever since. The prior year, 2030, had been deceptively blissful and the two women knew now that they had been sailing through the eye of the hurricane, only to be engulfed again this year as they entered the other side of the violent, destructive storm.

“Please tell me there’s coffee behind this door” Ashlyn sighed, her voice tired but not gruff anymore. She was slowly waking up and becoming more and more intrigued by what her wife had up her sleeve.

“There’s coffee behind this door” Ali, standing with her back to the closed studio door, took the time to give the blonde a hug and a quick kiss before reaching down and turning the door knob behind her. “Close your eyes.”

The keeper did as requested and let her wife lead her into the room. Ali took both her hands and walked backwards through the slightly rearranged room until they reached an area in front of the window that looked out to the North East - the window Ashlyn often stood in front of, contemplating life while watching her New England ocean crash into Good Harbor beach down below. 

“I’m pretty sure we should have walked into the work table by now...”

“Just hush you...” the brunette replied, both women grinning even though Ashlyn still had her eyes closed.

The keeper knew her studio well and was correct, of course. Ali had moved the big work table from the center of the room over to the right, towards the back of the room to make space for her surprise. She had pushed other small pieces of furniture and storage cabinets around to create a cozy and comfortable area for that morning. After another few seconds and a quick look behind her to make sure everything was where she had put it an hour earlier, Ali spoke again. Her voice was an interesting mixture of playful with a good dose of emotion. 

“Will you watch the sunrise with me, my love?”

“I will if I can open my eyes...” Ashlyn joked lightly, noting the more serious tone to her wife’s words.

“Go ahead” the brunette grinned and let go of one of Ashlyn’s hands so she could move to stand beside her as they looked out the window together.

“Wow...you made it like our big rock” the keeper nodded approvingly as she blinked her eyes open and took in the area between them and the window. “I love this...” she enthused, still more sedately than usual because it was 7am and she wasn’t quite all the way woken up yet.

The room was cozy but not quite light yet. Ali had opened the blinds of all three windows in the room and the dawn was trying to fill the space as it was the rest of the world. It just needed a few more minutes to do it. There was a blanket spread out on the floor in front of Ashlyn’s favorite window and two of the throw pillows from the couch across the room lay waiting to be sat upon. There were two big travel thermoses of coffee waiting to be enjoyed during the show and Ashlyn paused, completely confused by what to do first. She wanted to take her wife in her arms and hug and kiss her again. But she wanted her coffee too.

“Come on, it’s just about to come up” the brunette sat down on one of the pillows, leading her wife to follow. 

They sat as they usually did on their big rock to watch the sunrise. Ashlyn sat with her legs out in front of her and Ali sat in between them, leaning back into her beloved keeper. Sometimes they sat back to front and other times, like this morning, Ali turned sideways with her legs over one of Ashlyn’s. If they were actually at the beach and on the big rock this was the preferred position for talking. Otherwise Ashlyn had a hard time hearing her wife as the wind swallowed up her words. The brunette handed a thermos of coffee to her keeper and they toasted before taking their first satisfying sips.

“Happy sunrise baby” Ashlyn smiled as they tapped their thermoses together.

“Thanks for getting up with me” Ali grinned back.

They sat for another three or four minutes until the horizon began to glow. The windows of the third floor were all very low to the ground, practically right on the floor, because of the mansard roof up there. The walls were sloped which meant there wasn’t as much height in the wall for the windows. Because of this, the couple had a perfect view down to the ocean as they sat there on the floor. Ali reached over and tugged one of the two remaining afghans that Gram had made for them towards the blonde. Ashlyn’s face flooded with emotion as she pulled it up around her back and encircled them both. Gram’s afghans weren’t part of the general kids mayhem anymore. Ali had preserved them, wanting to keep them in as good condition for as long as possible. She had sent one up to Ashlyn’s studio and secured the other one in the front parlor where the kids knew they weren’t allowed without permission. The only exception was the piano but Josie was usually the only one who played it. The other kids used the electronic keyboard that was in the front living room instead. Something about having Gram’s afghan around them that morning moved Ashlyn deeply, and she wasn’t sure exactly why.

Both women were quiet as they watched the sun slowly but steadily fill the sky with layers of vibrant colors. Different shades of pinks and oranges and reds were stacked like the multi-colored sand in those sand sculpture vases the kids made at school. Ali tried hard to keep her pounding heart quiet and her racing mind calm. She was eager to give Ashlyn her surprise and she was trying hard not to wonder what the kids were up to, or if they were still in bed. Dodge all by himself downstairs still struck fear in the hearts of both women. She was glad the keeper hadn’t asked her about the kids yet. But she needn’t have worried about Ashlyn’s state of mind that morning. She was totally immersed in the moment, oblivious to anything other than her beautiful brunette in her arms, Gram’s love around them, and the gorgeous light display going on right before their eyes. The keeper was completely at peace and the small smile and deep look of satisfaction on her face told Ali that she had done well.

“This is a heckuva lot warmer this way” Ashlyn squeezed her wife. “I love being on the big rock, don’t get me wrong” she cautioned and kissed Ali’s cheek. “But I do not miss that wind” she shivered at the memory and made them both laugh softly.

“Well, you can thank the kids for that” Ali regretted mentioning the kids as soon as the words left her lips. Oh well. No going back now. They were moms and this was their reality, no matter how hard they sometimes tried to carve out private time. “I thought about just sneaking away and leaving them a note...”

“But then you came to your senses and realized what an absolute clusterfuck we would have come back to, even after just half an hour” Ashlyn giggled and happily received a playful kiss from her wife.

“Exactly” Ali sighed. “Sorry babe. But this is the best I could do.”

“This is awesome honey. Seriously. I love it. You’re so sweet. How did you get all of this done already? And you’re showered and dressed for work too? What the hell went on here this morning anyway?”

“Sleep is overrated” Ali shrugged and then they both shook their heads and laughed again.

“No it’s definitely not.”

“Today it is” Ali’s words were softer and she blinked up at her keeper through her lashes as she ducked her head just a bit. 

The sun was all the way up now and they could hear somebody’s footsteps in the hall below them. Their time was fleeting and the brunette knew she had to get to the point and it made her a little nervous. Not quite as nervous as she had been 15 years ago but still nervous. It was 15 years to the day that she had proposed to Ashlyn, right down there on their big rock at Good Harbor beach. December 12th. Back then it had been a Monday morning and they had enjoyed the luxury of time. Neither of them had anyplace to be that morning. Ashlyn was in her offseason. Ali had taken the day off. It had been perfect. But today was so very different and at first it had aggravated the brunette. But the more she thought about it the more she loved how much their lives had changed since 2016. Yes, she would always miss the sheer amount of time she and Ashlyn had been able to spend together back then. But that was about it. Everything else was better now. It all felt richer somehow, more complete. She knew life in the big old house was chaotic and could be downright painful sometimes with their big, boisterous family. But it felt so good and pure too. Those kids, those crazy, messy, ornery, adorable, goofy kids down there – and the one in Boston fast asleep no doubt – had filled-in this house and this life and nothing Ali could have imagined could make her happier. She often thought back to the fearful conversation she and Ashlyn had ahared before Drew had been born. They had been worried that they might somehow love each other less after sharing their hearts with the little boy they knew would be joining them soon. Such naivete. Ali chuckled without realizing it as she got lost in her thoughts that morning.

“What’s funny?”

“Oh, geez” the brunette rolled her eyes and couldn’t believe she had just ruined the moment by thinking about the kids and then laughing. But after a few seconds the irony hit her square in the face and she laughed some more. “Sorry.”

“What’s funny? I wanna laugh too, come on...” Ashlyn complained softly and then pulled her wife in tighter, burying her face in Ali’s warm neck and kissing it gently.

“Oh why not?” Ali chuckled and shook her head. “I was just thinking about...well, wait. Just let me do this first” she changed her mind mid-sentence and shifted positions so she was facing her wife, her legs over each of Ashlyn’s while the blonde held her around her waist.

They gazed into each other’s eyes and smiled sweetly at one another. Ashlyn cocked her head, more than a bit confused but most amused by her slightly flustered brunette. Ali clearly had a plan and was having trouble sticking to it for some reason.

“I love you” the keeper blinked, her dimpled grin appearing slowly as her face lit up watching the woman she loved trying so hard to do whatever it was she was trying to do.

Ali ducked her head again, completely flummoxed by her wife’s sweet declaration. It was always welcome, but she was having difficulty staying focused and having Ashlyn say those three magic words just then wasn’t helping.

“I love you too” she answered and blushed a bit. “But I wanna say something first and you’re too adorable and sweet and I can’t fucking do it” she shook her head, big smile on her face, and laughed again. “Way to go Krieger” she rolled her eyes at herself and felt Ashlyn pulling her in for a kiss.

The keeper’s soft lips instantly steadied the brunette. Ali felt like she could breathe again. She felt like she could see straight. She felt like she could accomplish her mission and complete her grand gesture. They kissed for a minute, not too passionately, but just meaningful enough to settle the brunette and satisfy Ashlyn.

“Ok. There. Now do what you need to do, sugarplum” she nodded, dimple still on display. She was enjoying their sunrise immensely, regardless of whatever else was coming next.

“Thank you. I needed that” Ali giggled but straightened up a bit and cleared her throat. “So, I don’t expect you to know this and I don’t want you to feel bad” she cautioned as she let her hands enjoy Ashlyn’s hair and neck and shoulders on their way down to her lap. “I don’t remember it every year or anything, I mean I remember it but I don’t like...celebrate it or anything...” she started to get frustrated with her silly speech. It was not going anything like she had practiced in her head the past couple of weeks. She sighed heavily. “I’m sorry. Let me start again.”

Ashlyn sat quietly, her thumbs idly rubbing her wife’s lower back as her hands stayed clasped around Ali’s waist. She had a look of amusement and adoration on her grinning face as she waited for her wife to get her shit together.

“Go right ahead my queen.”

“Ok, 15 years ago today, on that rock right down there” Ali glanced over her shoulder, “I asked you to marry me and was lucky enough to have you say yes” she swallowed hard as she watched Ashlyn’s face register shock, then guilt, then love, all in swift succession. “Don’t feel bad, remember?” she reminded the blonde and gave her a quick kiss. “It was the best day of my life up until that point and it’s still one of my favorite days ever. I’ll never forget how it felt to hear you say yes Ashlyn. Never” she fought off the first wave of strong emotion and kept going. “I can’t believe it’s been 15 years already. But it has. And most of it has been absolutely fucking wonderful. I’m so lucky and I know it” she nodded as she felt her throat start to close up on her. 

“Me too baby. Me too...” Ashlyn reached up and cupped her wife’s cheek before giving her another sweet kiss.

“As hard as this year has been for us...” the brunette dropped her eyes for a second but brought them right back up, proud of the work they had done together to work through it all. “And it was fucking hard. Man” she shook her head in amazement. “But as hard as it was, I wouldn’t change any of our life together. Not one thing. I feel closer to you now than ever before, and that blows my mind because...I’ve always felt like we were so close to begin with, you know?”

“Yeah, absolutely” Ashlyn nodded. “I feel the same way.”

“But this year sucked so much...not all of it” she added quickly.

“Honey, I know what you mean” the keeper reassured her with a squeeze and a smile. “Us, the two of us and all of our fights and bullshit – that sucked. Not the rest of it. I know.”

Ali felt her heart swell knowing how deeply her wife understood her. That was a gift that was impossible to put a value on. That was something that only happened after 15 years together. 

“I started thinking about how great it felt that day, when we proposed to each other, and I wanted to make you feel like that again. I wanted to give that to you again, to thank you for how hard you worked this year. Because I know as hard as I thought it was for me, it was twice as hard for you babe.”

They were quiet for several seconds as messy thoughts floated around them. Thoughts of Andy Pitman and poor, sweet Persey, and even Emily fucking Quindlen, however faded and distant those thoughts of her finally were becoming. Ashlyn had tears in her eyes and all she could do was nod her head in reply.

“You worked your ass off for me and for our family this year Ashlyn, harder than you usually do I mean...you went above and beyond and I know it. And I see you. And I appreciate you. And I fucking love you so much it makes me dizzy sometimes...” she sucked in a shaky breath as they exchanged a watery gaze. “The best thing I’ve ever done in my life was ask you to marry me. And I’m doing it again...whether we actually have a renewal ceremony or not I don’t really care” she admitted honestly. “But I want you to know, I need you to know that I would ask you again, and again, and again, and again. Over and over and over because I always want to marry you. I always want to be married to you and I always want you right by my side...” she choked out as much as she could before her throat finally closed up on her.

“Ready to pick you up if you stumble...” Ashlyn recited the next line that she herself had used in her own wedding vows.

“In one long, never-ending three-legged race...” Ali finished with a quote from her original proposal as the first tear slid down her face. 

She wiped it away as they grinned at each other and then she got up and changed positions on her pillow again. This time she knelt on both knees between Ashlyn’s legs, sitting back on her heels so they were eye to eye. She fished a piece of paper out of her pants pocket and unfolded it, holding it up for her sweet keeper to see.

“This is the necklace that’s being made right now for you Ash. I’m sorry I don’t have it yet, but I didn’t think of doing this in time...” her face darkened in either frustration or regret.

“Shhh...” Ashlyn placed one finger on her wife’s lips, then cupped her cheek again and nodded. “It’s ok baby. Just tell me...”

“It’s a pendant” the brunette pointed at the sketch she had approved for the jeweler. It was of a silver dollar sized, roundish-looking pendant. “Shaped like the big rock. And the date and coordinates will be inscribed on the back for this day, 15 years ago.” Ali paused and smiled at the way her wife’s gorgeous face took in the information and revealed her joy and approval. “I did it in silver, the chain too, I hope that’s ok...”

“It’s awesome. I love it Al. Really...” it was the keeper’s turn to get choked up.

“Ashlyn Michelle Harris Krieger” the brunette spoke clearly and with a determined smile on her flushed face. Her heart was pounding in her chest. “Will you still be my wife? Will you keep doing this crazy life with me? No matter what? Forever and ever?” she lifted one of the blonde’s hands to her lips and kissed it as tears of joy fell down Ashlyn’s face.

She couldn’t speak so the keeper pulled her wife in for a big, sloppy, passionate kiss that was shorter than either of them would have liked. But they were both out of breath and needed air. They held each other close as sounds of their kids, their lives, floated up to the third floor of the big old house. They knew their private time was up but neither wanted to move away from the other. Finally, after another long couple of minutes of breathing and embracing and loving, Ali spoke again.

“So, was that a yes?”

They both laughed and pulled back a bit, grateful that something had forced them apart when their own will could not.

“Baby, if you don’t know the answer to that then we’re in big trouble” she winked. “Yes, of course it was a yes. Always. Every damned day I say yes to you. Always, Forever.”

“Good. I love you.”

“I love you too. Thank you for proposing to me again. This is one of the sweetest things you’ve ever done for me. It means a lot.”

“And you don’t have to propose to me again. That’s not what this was about” Ali clarified as they got up off the floor with groans and giggles. “This was just for you. I don’t want or need or expect anything in return. Ok?”

Ashlyn chewed her bottom lip in consideration and played it up to get a laugh from her brunette. When it worked, she nodded.

“Fine. Understood. But you have to tell me what was so funny at the beginning.”

“What?” Ali frowned as she carried the pillows back to the couch. “Oh, God” she chuckled. “My mind was racing because I was nervous and I was thinking about a million things” she tried to explain. “And I was worried about what kind of trouble Dodge was getting into downstairs by himself...”

“Oh my God, I’ve been trying so hard not to worry about that this whole time!” Ashlyn laughed.

“Right?” Ali joined her. “Well, I was thinking about how much I loved our life back when I proposed to you the first time. I thought about how we spent the rest of the day together...”

“And now we’re both cringing at the thought of going downstairs to whatever mess they’ve already made and it’s only...” she lifted Ali’s arm and looked at her wife’s phone quickly, “7:20am”

“Yes!! Exactly” Ali agreed. “It just struck me how much better this life is now, even with all the kid stuff and the interruptions” she gave her wife a knowing look. 

“Yeah” Ashlyn nodded and smiled as she patted her wife’s butt in response to the look. “It’s harder, for sure, but it’s so much better.”

“I know this is gonna sound cheesy but I don’t care” Ali began with a shrug as they walked hand in hand towards the door and the waiting mayhem below. “When I look back at how our life was before, it was incredible. I loved it. I wouldn’t have thought to change any part of it” she paused before opening the door, turning to face her wife again. “But when I look at us now and our life and everything, well...” she shrugged again and smiled, “it’s like the same happiness and love and everything, but it’s all deeper now. Like...I can see so much more in it now, like if it was a picture or something – the picture now has all these layers to it and depth and it’s just clearer and more beautiful. I don’t know” she shook her head, slightly embarrassed at the way her words sounded.

“No, I know what you mean” Ashlyn tilted her head at the beautiful brunette. “It’s like this picture now is 3D or something, and before it was just 2D...”

“Yes! Thank you” Ali laughed, relieved.

“I didn’t know there were spaces or gaps that needed to be filled before” the thoughtful keeper continued. “Until all the spaces were full of the kids and the dogs and our friends’ kids...”

“Fuller and deeper” the brunette brought their lips together in a soft kiss. “That’s it.”

“That sounds like the name of a terrible porno...”

“Oh my God” Ali let out her short, loud, shout of a laugh and beamed at her grinning wife. “You are ridiculous.”

“Yeah, but you love me.”

“I do. Very much” the brunette mumbled into another kiss, this one deeper and longer.

The alarm on Ali’s phone went off, signaling 7:30am which was the drop-dead latest time she was allowed to linger with her wife that morning.

“You’re all gonna be late” Ashlyn sighed as they leaned their foreheads together, catching their breath. 

“So fucking late.”

“I don’t care” the keeper shrugged. “I love my proposal morning. Best morning ever.”

“You say that now...” Ali chuckled and took one last deep breath of her keeper in. “Just wait til we get downstairs.”

“Deeper and fuller baby” Ashlyn opened the door and courteously offered Ali her arm. 

They smiled at each other and knew in their hearts that whatever mess was waiting for them would be well worth it. It had been a brutal year for them as a couple and they had both caused the other pain. Life was a lot harder now than ever before but that just meant they were going to have to dig a little deeper to work their way through it. They couldn’t go backwards. And they sure as hell weren’t giving up. So moving through it was the only way forward and they both knew it and would embrace the challenge. The Mary Sarah had made it through the first part of Hurricane Emily, and coasted through the eerie eye of the storm too. Now the ship was finally through the other half of the hurricane and heading towards smoother seas. It had been a harrowing three-year journey and the Mary Sarah had taken on some water and required some repairs along the way. But after some painstaking patchwork she was still afloat and still moving forward, following her siren’s call back to port, back to the big old house. Captain Leighton would have given both Ashlyn and Ali high praise for their performance during that voyage. No doubt about it. 

As relieved and thankful as they felt, the couple also knew that their lucky, blessed, wonderful life was only going to get messier and more challenging as their kids grew up and their parents got older. Nothing, not even a hurricane, was going to stop the march of time. They knew that the next 15 years would go by in another flash and they were determined to be present and awake for it. No matter what. It would be hard but they could see the picture so clearly now. And they knew from experience that it was only going to keep getting more beautiful with every passing year. As they started down the stairs together, Ali took her wife’s arm, tucking her hand into her favorite spot between Ashlyn’s bicep and her breast, and smiled. 

“Deeper and fuller” Ali replied with all the love in her heart. “Let’s do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had the end of this last chapter written for over a month. lol. When I start writing I work from a plot outline so I know where I'm going with the story, per installment. Sometimes I write the whole last chapter when I'm only halfway through the rest of it, it just depends on how clearly I see it, etc. So....as thrilled as I was about their real life engagement news and story last week (seriously - how freaking adorable are Ali & Ashlyn in real life????? I love them so much!), it kind of made me rethink the end of this installment. I didn't want the last chapter to feel cheap, or like I copied their news for it, conveniently capitalizing on the timing of the engagement announcement. I don't know how to explain it really. But I felt like I couldn't post my last chapter the way I had written it. I felt like it was a cop out or something. I don't know.  
> So I spent a lot of time this week trying to re-write a different ending that achieved the same effect I was going for. That's why I haven't posted this until now. But last night I gave up. I like my last chapter the way it was. And if some readers are put off by the idea that I copied real life A/A for it then I'm just going to have to be ok with that. lol. This isn't War & Peace for heaven's sake. So the good news is that I got over myself and am posting my last chapter the way I had originally written it. The freakish timing of their actual real life engagement announcement will just be another odd similarity to this silly story that readers can interpret however you wish.  
> Much love to you all! Thanks for reading and commenting and checking in on the Tumblr blog. I'll be back soon... <3
> 
> ***Also..... HOLY SHIT ALI GOT CALLED UP AGAIN AND MY HEAD IS STILL EXPLODING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> I am cautiously optimistic about it. I don't trust Jill Ellis for a split second though and I'm guarding my heart. I honestly don't think Ali will see any game time in either match. I think Ellis just wants to have a look at her and see if Ali's still a viable choice, etc. It's been two years. We all know Ali's still good enough to be on the USWNT but Jill's an idiot. Anyway, I hope I'm wrong and I hope Ali gets her two fucking caps and I hope Ellis chokes on them. But I'm preparing myself for Ali to not play, and maybe not even make the game day roster. It sucks, but that's what I'm hardening my heart for. PLEASE let me be wrong....PLEASE God!


End file.
